Chapter 11 - In which an important battle is fought
- Location
- Probably at sea
Now. Now now now.
Things seem to be looking up for our dynamic duo, don't they? Okay, so they're deeper in debt to the magus equivalent of a Bond villain (conniving schemer, check, eye-related issues, check, quirky totally-loyal minion/enforcer, check), but apart from that, it's all looking up. Hey, they've even got the best teacher in the Clock Tower on the job of helping them harness the frankly unfair power of Installs! What could be better?
Well, things can't be that easy, of course. I know fine well just how ridiculous some of the Cards I'm giving them would be if they were allowed to use all their power. Which means, obviously, that I can't just have them suss it out over a lunch break and then go around stomping all the other Cards willy-nilly. Oh no.
When and if they manage to Install, the threat level will be increased accordingly.
Of course, I'm not above throwing them a bone every now and then, just so that their eventual mastery doesn't come out of nowhere and feel unearned.
There again, it's another filler chapter. We were going to get to the next Card in this chapter but nooooo, apparently this story had other ideas. I would apologise, but I'm not sure what it'd be for…
Ritsuka and Mash's apartment was quiet. You might think this was normal, both the two being generally good eggs and the type to not make trouble for each other (and so polite too!) – but then, my friends, you would be forgetting about the Kaleidosticks.
Why would you do that?
I mean, I wouldn't blame you, but forgetting about Kaleidosticks when they're lurking around is a good way to make your life interesting, in the sense that the police will be very interested to find out why you were dressed like that where any decent God-fearing citizen could see you, you pervert. Also, interesting in the sense that your attending physician will be writing a very interesting paper on the new and terribly amusing calamities that have befallen you.
The good people of Croydon were generally used to strange and alarming sounds coming from cheap apartments, and had learned that it never paid to investigate. Mostly, yes, because of all the gang violence, but these days also, in this particular block, because of the possibility of new and terribly amusing calamities followed by losing anywhere between a few hours to a week of memory.
Anyway.
Today, it was actually quiet, because Mash had addressed the sticks and told them in no uncertain terms that they needed to concentrate, no really, she meant it this time, and if the sticks pulled another prank and messed up their Install training she would be very disappointed and might just cry.
The sticks seemed to be behaving for the moment, however. Possibly this was because Ritsuka had extracted a verbal promise from each of them, and like all demons the Kaleidosticks were bound by their word. Possibly, though, it was because, for the first time ever, the Fujimaru-Kyrielight apartment had a guest.
"Mr El-Melloi II, please don't smoke in here," said Mash, opening a window and frantically waving her hands to encourage the thick cloud of cigar smoke out. "We'll get in trouble!"
"Didn't Animusphere buy out this place for you two?" said Lord El-Melloi II, around his cigar. "I'm pretty sure you'll be fine."
"Well, partly that," said Ritsuka, "but also, it'll take us days to get the smell out. Please?"
Waver looked at him for a moment, then sighed and stubbed out his cigar. "Fine, fine. Well, in that case, don't let me keep you. Installs. Go wild."
And with that, he placed some books on the table, sat down on the couch, pulled out a handheld console, and loaded it up.
For the Clock Tower's best teacher, El-Melloi II was surprisingly unhelpful.
"Um, teacher… what are you doing?" asked Ritsuka.
"Replaying X and Y. Sun and Moon aren't out until later this year, and if I'm stuck here GO's out as well. It's all Weedles around here, anyway." He caught Ritsuka and Mash's outraged looks. "What? You think I have any more idea than you do how to use an Install? You're the ones with the legendary-tier Mystic Codes, you figure it out."
Mash's pout was a thing to behold. "Um, Mr El-Melloi II… I feel like we might not be getting our money's worth from your instruction..."
"Might be because you're not paying me. And no, favours you owe Reines don't count, because she pays me mostly in misery." He sighed, and put down his console. "Look, I don't have all that much experience with Heroic Spirits than you do at this point – and mine weren't with Cards, either. They've become something of a specialist subject of mine since, because... reasons, but it's totally different to what you two are doing."
Ritsuka cleared his throat. "Sir, that isn't really good enough. Paying you in favours or not, any information you can give us is vital. We've got a duty to Animusphere to collect these Cards, and as far as I can see mastering Installs is the way to do it. Please. Sir."
Waver gave him a long look, before snorting and shaking his head with what might have been a smile. "Ugh. You're too young to argue with." Ritsuka started to protest, but Waver cut him off. "Fine. Long story short, I do know about one case of specific, long-term but intermittent possession. It might look similar to Installs, but it's an anomaly among anomalies, not remotely applicable to your case. And no, before you ask, I'm not introducing you."
He gestured towards the books he'd out on the table. "On the other hand, expecting you to do all the groundwork yourself is unreasonable, so I've collated what I've researched on Heroic Spirits in general and possession in particular. I'll talk you through anything you're confused about, but actually putting it together with how you use those plastic abominations is up to you. Happy?"
They weren't happy – well, they actually they were still pretty happy in general, because Ritsuka and Mash were, just, the best people, always upbeat, so nice (and so polite too!). They weren't especially thrilled that El-Melloi II couldn't give them more, but Ritsuka got it.
And it was actually pretty interesting. There was a lot about Heroic Spirit lore that Ritsuka didn't get, even with Waver helping to translate the texts (why did everyone keep on assuming Ritsuka could read impenetrable magibabble?), but what he did understand was pretty cool.
Turns out, there was a record of everyone and everything that was sufficiently awesome, and every so often, the world itself would bring some of them back to prevent catastrophes that might threaten human life on the planet. That was super nice of it! Anyway, those were Heroic Spirits. Most of the time, only the world (or World – Ritsuka wasn't sure how important the capital letter was, here) could make them appear, and it kind of saved it up for special occasions. There had been a lot of attempts by magi to summon them too, with limited success.
Not no success, though. Clearly, the Class Cards had managed to trap a portion of the Heroic Spirit's essence in a usable form, although El-Melloi's research hadn't mentioned them at all. It had, however, mentioned something called a Fuyuki Grail System, which had caught Ritsuka's eye thanks to the obviously Japanese name. (He couldn't bring to mind where Fuyuki actually was, though. Somewhere on Hokkaido? Yes, that sounded right.)
The point of this, Waver said, was to summon beings called Servants, reduced in power compared to the original Heroic Spirit but still vastly, ridiculously, bonkersly beyond anything else outside ancient vampires (Ritsuka paused the research at this point, to better savour his small panic attack at the casual revelation that holy crap vampires were a thing aaaaaah) or really, truly exceptional magi. These were still pretty well impossible to encounter unless some magus somewhere was bending reality in circles to make Servants happen… except that sometimes, very rarely, a Servant would possess a living human when the World decided that something needed to happen but didn't want to make, like, a super big deal out of it.
It had to be someone who resonated with the original Heroic Spirit in some way – personality similar, skills similar, ideally appearance not too far away either. The spirit would meld into the host, creating an amalgam personality with the powers of the Heroic Spirit reduced down to Servant level, and you'd end up with what was called a 'Pseudo-Servant'. This, said Waver, was what he thought might be possible to emulate with Installs.
Unfortunately, all of this was basically conjecture. Psuedo-Servants were hardly a well-researched phenomenon, just an explanation for when people had suddenly had personality shifts and started throwing boulders around and firing lasers out of swords. After whatever they were needed for was complete, the Heroic Spirit would vanish, leaving the original host's personality intact so they could deal with questions like 'what the heck just happened' and 'could you do that thing with the sword again'. The point was, it may have just been a legend, or a rumour, or straight-up Grade-A magus bullshit.
Still… it had left Ritsuka with an idea. It depended on how the Kaleidosticks really worked, and how the Cards really worked, and whether Ruby was willing to actually put in some work for a change.
Waver thought this might work better if they were alone and away from any other influences until they got the hang of it. (It definitely wasn't because he wanted them both to piss off and leave him to game in peace.) So, Ritsuka had gone to his room, and Mash had done the same.
To her own room, that was. Naturally. Why would it be any different? They weren't even dating yet. Um.
So yes, Ritsuka was in his room all by himself, doing what all boys do when alone in their bedrooms: fiddling with his big pink stick.
"Okay, Ruby," he said, holding the stick in front of him. "I have a theory, but before that, it occurs to me that I haven't actually asked you – do you know how I can use Installs?"
"I feel as though I just got insulted in the narration… but okay, I'll answer your question! The answer is no, sorry."
"Ruby…"
"It's true! It was a total surprise when our last wielders started doing it. And once they did, they just kind of brute-forced their way into it through visualisation. Like, they already knew it was possible, so they didn't waste time figuring out how they did it? Anyway, you don't need a Kaleidostick to Include or Install – it's a Card thing, not a stick thing. We just make it easier! Like we do for everything!"
While Ritsuka tried not to react to the audaciously blatant bullshit Ruby had just uttered, he felt a little disappointment – although, to be honest, it had been a long shot. The sticks probably wouldn't pull the 'not telling their wielders about something they could totally do' stunt again. Not because they actually felt bad about it, just because they wouldn't be so unoriginal as to repeat a gag.
Besides. Ritsuka had an idea. "So much easier. Hey, mind letting me know a bit about how you sticks work?"
"Sure! What do you want to know, Master?"
"You access parallel worlds, right? That's how you get into the Mirror World, it's where you draw all that infinite magic from, it's generally what you're all about, right?"
Ruby did a happy spin. "You got it! In technical terms, we're Mystic Codes designed to emulate the Second Magic, but don't worry about that. Just know that we're the best!"
"So… are there parallel Ritsukas? Are there other Ritsukas who aren't Magical Boys at all, but who led totally different lives?"
"Yes! All of them, actually. There are parallel yous, but there is only one Magical Ruby! Also only one Magical Sapphire. And you got me for free! You're so lucky, Master."
"But there are other Ritsukas. Can you… access those as well? Like you access any other parallel world? What happens to me in that case?"
"Ooh, ooh, this is a good one!" Ruby bobbed up and down excitedly. "We actually never got the chance to show you this, but we can do so much more than just turn you into Magical Girls and Boys. Okay, pick a skill you've always wanted to try. Any skill, so long as it's something you can't do. And, um, is something you can easily demonstrate here, so no lion-taming or anything."
Ritsuka put his fist to his chin in thought, mind having gone utterly blank. It was like the peculiar magic which, once invoked by the dread incantation "Tell Us A Joke", immediately wiped every memory of every joke from one's mind. Now that he was being asked, he couldn't think of a single skill he remembered wanting to do – apart from, now Ruby had mentioned it, lion taming. (What? Lions were adorable, with their big fluffy faces and cuddly manes and – dammit, now he really just wanted to learn lion taming.)
"Okay," he said, picking something at random. "How about juggling?"
"Excellent choice, Master!" Ruby cackled. "Get ready! Prism Trance: Magical Jester Kaleido Garnet, set up!"
There was a depressingly familiar shower of pink sparkles. When it cleared, Ritsuka was dressed in what appeared to be an altered version of his basic Magical Boy outfit. There were a lot of ribbons and bells in peculiar places, and one of those big floppy double-horned hats.
Ritsuka felt his face. "Is… is this makeup? Ruby, did you turn me into a clown? This was not part of the deal."
Ruby did a jig in mid-air. "You're Magical Jester Kaleido Garnet! More importantly than that, Master, how do you feel?"
Decidedly too whimsical for his liking, was the answer, but there was no point in putting Ruby into a huff. Besides, there was something…
Ritsuka tossed his alarm clock into the air. A bottle of water joined it, followed by his phone and wallet. After a moment's thought, Ruby sailed upwards too, squealing in delight.
Usually at this point, whenever Ritsuka had tried juggling previously, he would at this point try to catch something, miss, throw the next item at speed over his left shoulder, then trip over his feet and land in a hail of debris.
This time, his hands moved with precise, unhurried motion, smoothly catching each object as it fell and tossing it back up. Just like he'd done a thousand times before… hadn't he? He blinked, hands faltering, then decided not to worry about it and let his hands work.
After a moment, he decided he didn't really need two hands for this. His right hand worked double time, flashing in and out, until he finally let everything land in a perfect circle on the bed.
"Huh," he said, dropping the transformation. "That was pretty cool, actually. So, just so I'm clear, what exactly happened there?"
Ruby rose up off the bed. "Just like you thought, Master, I'm using a variant on the Second Magic to temporarily overlay a different version of you onto, um, you. In this case, a you who decided to devote his life to juggling after running away to join the circus. Turning you into Kaleido Garnet is actually a similar process."
"Oh really? What extra skills are you giving us there?" Ritsuka asked.
"Um, well, you know, just generally useful stuff? Your basic Kaleido Garnet form is a mix of an athlete Ritsuka, a gymnast Ritsuka, and a fashion model Ritsuka. You can't layer too many different versions of yourself or you start getting interference, so I stuck to just the really important ones."
"Like the fashion model."
"It's to inspire as well as to protect! Magical Boy-ing 101, Master, I know you know that."
Ritsuka nodded, not really having expected anything different. Still, this meant his idea might actually work.
He picked up the Card he'd taken with him to practice. In his hands it felt like nothing more than cardboard, no hint as to the power inside. He turned it over, and examined the image on the front.
… it hadn't occurred before, but the old man with the staff looked nothing like the Caster he'd fought. That being the case, who was it? Or was it supposed to just be a representation of wizards in general? If so, who decided what went into that? Who drew the picture? The Cards were full of mystery, and not the fun kind that let you shoot fireballs.
Ritsuka became aware he was stalling.
It was the Card, that was the trouble. Of all the Class Cards he'd seen so far, the Caster Card had been his least favourite. What it had put him through before he'd managed to seal it had been the number one most unpleasant experience of his life. Now, he had to partially merge with it, and part of him couldn't shake the fear that it would plunge him back into its horrible world of illusion again.
But of all the Cards, Caster was the only one he felt he'd managed to make a connection with, even if that connection was one of severe dislike. And, more, it was a Heroic Spirit with a well-known history. That was important.
Ritsuka tapped the card on his knuckles a couple of times, then straightened up. "Okay, Ruby. We're going to do this in two stages. First… give me play-writing skills. If you can search for an author Ritsuka who still moved to London, that would be best."
"You got it, Master!"
A shower of pink later, Ritsuka was transformed – but he didn't bother checking what hideous get-up Ruby had stuck him in this time. Instead, he closed his eyes.
Words danced behind them. Plots, characters, scenes, they all came to him with ease, like they had ever since he was in school, the natural gift that had made him the star of Literature Club all through middle school and made him president when he was only a first-year high school student. (Some small part of him noticed a note of dissonance – but that same part knew how important it was to ignore it.)
He'd come to London to find work, to let his plays reach a larger audience than they could in Tokyo. (Never mind how Tokyo was larger population-wise than London, whispered some part of his mind still in control.) He'd left his family behind, but found a new one here, in this strange place, and now he was ready to show the world what he could do.
On autopilot, he lifted the card. After a moment's hesitation, he knelt and slapped it on the floor. A pink glow came through his closed eyelids. (He took it as a good sign.)
A good sign, yes. He was finally making something of himself here, exactly as he'd wanted. All he had to do was finish… whatever it was he was doing here, and then he'd go back to writing down all his new ideas. If his friends and family back in S****ford could see him now!
Pink light turned to green, and Ritsuka felt the transformation finish. He opened his eyes.
There was a moment of sheer incomprehension. What was this building? What were these strange devices? Out the window, how were those structures built so high?
(Then Ritsuka's controlling mind reasserted itself, riding the Caster Card's washed out memories and skills, making them his own. The Card was only barely aware, and put up almost no resistance. 'Almost no resistance' was still substantial coming from a Heroic Spirit, even a fragmented, degraded, bleached copy, but with Ruby's help he slowly took control.)
Ritsuka breathed deep, and looked down at himself. His usual costume had changed to a long green coat, Ruby in his hand had changed into the book – the First Folio, of course – and his other hand now held a quill. A quill with which to hold a mirror up to the world, to reimagine everything he saw anew, forever…
"I think we did it, Ruby," he said.
"We sure did! We're awesome, Master!"
Ritsuka turned to head out the door to give Mash the news…
… and his legs were the wrong shape, the wrong strength, his clothes rubbed oddly against his skin, his balance was off, he was too young and too old at the same time, what was going on…
… and Ritsuka stood as Kaleido Garnet once again.
"Darn it," he said. "I couldn't hold the Install, there was too much different all at once. It was me, but not quite me, but I was also driving the whole thing from the back, and the whole thing was also Shakespeare."
Ruby, now a stick again, wiggled in his hand. "Not to worry! Now you know it's possible, it should be much easier for you. And then it's just a matter of practicing until you can hold the contradictions in your head. Humans are really good at that!"
Ritsuka eyed his Kaleidostick, unsure if he'd just been insulted or not. Probably not, he judged. Besides, she wasn't wrong.
"Come on," he said. "Let's see if Lord El-Melloi II has any insight now we've succeeded once."
They went through into the living room, where the Lord still lounged on the sofa playing his DS. "Phone call for you," he said, gesturing at the answering machine without looking round.
The Director was fairly tech-savvy as magi went, although most of her experience was in experimental magitech designs for scrying stations and other things that made Ritsuka tune out about halfway through hearing the name. Not mass-produced everyday stuff, in any case – Mash had tried to give her a smartphone, but as far as Ritsuka knew the Director had refused to touch it ever since she activated Siri by accident and convinced herself it was an artificial intelligence.
In any case, in the Director's mind, houses had phones, and if you wanted to talk to someone in that house you called that phone. Simple. Ritsuka and Mash had spent an enjoyable afternoon searching for a place that actually sold answering machines in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen, and eventually found it in an antique shop.
"You didn't answer it?"
"Gym battle."
Ah. Understandable.
Ritsuka went to the ancient relic, and pushed the button.
"yOu HaVe ONE nEw MeSsAgE. mEsSaGe ONE:
'Hello, Mash, Ritsuka. I don't know if you've made any progress on Installs yet, but if not you'd better make a whole lot, and soon.
"'We've found the next Card.'"
Things seem to be looking up for our dynamic duo, don't they? Okay, so they're deeper in debt to the magus equivalent of a Bond villain (conniving schemer, check, eye-related issues, check, quirky totally-loyal minion/enforcer, check), but apart from that, it's all looking up. Hey, they've even got the best teacher in the Clock Tower on the job of helping them harness the frankly unfair power of Installs! What could be better?
Well, things can't be that easy, of course. I know fine well just how ridiculous some of the Cards I'm giving them would be if they were allowed to use all their power. Which means, obviously, that I can't just have them suss it out over a lunch break and then go around stomping all the other Cards willy-nilly. Oh no.
When and if they manage to Install, the threat level will be increased accordingly.
Of course, I'm not above throwing them a bone every now and then, just so that their eventual mastery doesn't come out of nowhere and feel unearned.
There again, it's another filler chapter. We were going to get to the next Card in this chapter but nooooo, apparently this story had other ideas. I would apologise, but I'm not sure what it'd be for…
THE THRILLING ADVENTURES OF KALEIDO GARNET
Chapter 11 – In which an important battle is fought
Chapter 11 – In which an important battle is fought
Ritsuka and Mash's apartment was quiet. You might think this was normal, both the two being generally good eggs and the type to not make trouble for each other (and so polite too!) – but then, my friends, you would be forgetting about the Kaleidosticks.
Why would you do that?
I mean, I wouldn't blame you, but forgetting about Kaleidosticks when they're lurking around is a good way to make your life interesting, in the sense that the police will be very interested to find out why you were dressed like that where any decent God-fearing citizen could see you, you pervert. Also, interesting in the sense that your attending physician will be writing a very interesting paper on the new and terribly amusing calamities that have befallen you.
The good people of Croydon were generally used to strange and alarming sounds coming from cheap apartments, and had learned that it never paid to investigate. Mostly, yes, because of all the gang violence, but these days also, in this particular block, because of the possibility of new and terribly amusing calamities followed by losing anywhere between a few hours to a week of memory.
Anyway.
Today, it was actually quiet, because Mash had addressed the sticks and told them in no uncertain terms that they needed to concentrate, no really, she meant it this time, and if the sticks pulled another prank and messed up their Install training she would be very disappointed and might just cry.
The sticks seemed to be behaving for the moment, however. Possibly this was because Ritsuka had extracted a verbal promise from each of them, and like all demons the Kaleidosticks were bound by their word. Possibly, though, it was because, for the first time ever, the Fujimaru-Kyrielight apartment had a guest.
"Mr El-Melloi II, please don't smoke in here," said Mash, opening a window and frantically waving her hands to encourage the thick cloud of cigar smoke out. "We'll get in trouble!"
"Didn't Animusphere buy out this place for you two?" said Lord El-Melloi II, around his cigar. "I'm pretty sure you'll be fine."
"Well, partly that," said Ritsuka, "but also, it'll take us days to get the smell out. Please?"
Waver looked at him for a moment, then sighed and stubbed out his cigar. "Fine, fine. Well, in that case, don't let me keep you. Installs. Go wild."
And with that, he placed some books on the table, sat down on the couch, pulled out a handheld console, and loaded it up.
For the Clock Tower's best teacher, El-Melloi II was surprisingly unhelpful.
"Um, teacher… what are you doing?" asked Ritsuka.
"Replaying X and Y. Sun and Moon aren't out until later this year, and if I'm stuck here GO's out as well. It's all Weedles around here, anyway." He caught Ritsuka and Mash's outraged looks. "What? You think I have any more idea than you do how to use an Install? You're the ones with the legendary-tier Mystic Codes, you figure it out."
Mash's pout was a thing to behold. "Um, Mr El-Melloi II… I feel like we might not be getting our money's worth from your instruction..."
"Might be because you're not paying me. And no, favours you owe Reines don't count, because she pays me mostly in misery." He sighed, and put down his console. "Look, I don't have all that much experience with Heroic Spirits than you do at this point – and mine weren't with Cards, either. They've become something of a specialist subject of mine since, because... reasons, but it's totally different to what you two are doing."
Ritsuka cleared his throat. "Sir, that isn't really good enough. Paying you in favours or not, any information you can give us is vital. We've got a duty to Animusphere to collect these Cards, and as far as I can see mastering Installs is the way to do it. Please. Sir."
Waver gave him a long look, before snorting and shaking his head with what might have been a smile. "Ugh. You're too young to argue with." Ritsuka started to protest, but Waver cut him off. "Fine. Long story short, I do know about one case of specific, long-term but intermittent possession. It might look similar to Installs, but it's an anomaly among anomalies, not remotely applicable to your case. And no, before you ask, I'm not introducing you."
He gestured towards the books he'd out on the table. "On the other hand, expecting you to do all the groundwork yourself is unreasonable, so I've collated what I've researched on Heroic Spirits in general and possession in particular. I'll talk you through anything you're confused about, but actually putting it together with how you use those plastic abominations is up to you. Happy?"
They weren't happy – well, they actually they were still pretty happy in general, because Ritsuka and Mash were, just, the best people, always upbeat, so nice (and so polite too!). They weren't especially thrilled that El-Melloi II couldn't give them more, but Ritsuka got it.
And it was actually pretty interesting. There was a lot about Heroic Spirit lore that Ritsuka didn't get, even with Waver helping to translate the texts (why did everyone keep on assuming Ritsuka could read impenetrable magibabble?), but what he did understand was pretty cool.
Turns out, there was a record of everyone and everything that was sufficiently awesome, and every so often, the world itself would bring some of them back to prevent catastrophes that might threaten human life on the planet. That was super nice of it! Anyway, those were Heroic Spirits. Most of the time, only the world (or World – Ritsuka wasn't sure how important the capital letter was, here) could make them appear, and it kind of saved it up for special occasions. There had been a lot of attempts by magi to summon them too, with limited success.
Not no success, though. Clearly, the Class Cards had managed to trap a portion of the Heroic Spirit's essence in a usable form, although El-Melloi's research hadn't mentioned them at all. It had, however, mentioned something called a Fuyuki Grail System, which had caught Ritsuka's eye thanks to the obviously Japanese name. (He couldn't bring to mind where Fuyuki actually was, though. Somewhere on Hokkaido? Yes, that sounded right.)
The point of this, Waver said, was to summon beings called Servants, reduced in power compared to the original Heroic Spirit but still vastly, ridiculously, bonkersly beyond anything else outside ancient vampires (Ritsuka paused the research at this point, to better savour his small panic attack at the casual revelation that holy crap vampires were a thing aaaaaah) or really, truly exceptional magi. These were still pretty well impossible to encounter unless some magus somewhere was bending reality in circles to make Servants happen… except that sometimes, very rarely, a Servant would possess a living human when the World decided that something needed to happen but didn't want to make, like, a super big deal out of it.
It had to be someone who resonated with the original Heroic Spirit in some way – personality similar, skills similar, ideally appearance not too far away either. The spirit would meld into the host, creating an amalgam personality with the powers of the Heroic Spirit reduced down to Servant level, and you'd end up with what was called a 'Pseudo-Servant'. This, said Waver, was what he thought might be possible to emulate with Installs.
Unfortunately, all of this was basically conjecture. Psuedo-Servants were hardly a well-researched phenomenon, just an explanation for when people had suddenly had personality shifts and started throwing boulders around and firing lasers out of swords. After whatever they were needed for was complete, the Heroic Spirit would vanish, leaving the original host's personality intact so they could deal with questions like 'what the heck just happened' and 'could you do that thing with the sword again'. The point was, it may have just been a legend, or a rumour, or straight-up Grade-A magus bullshit.
Still… it had left Ritsuka with an idea. It depended on how the Kaleidosticks really worked, and how the Cards really worked, and whether Ruby was willing to actually put in some work for a change.
Waver thought this might work better if they were alone and away from any other influences until they got the hang of it. (It definitely wasn't because he wanted them both to piss off and leave him to game in peace.) So, Ritsuka had gone to his room, and Mash had done the same.
To her own room, that was. Naturally. Why would it be any different? They weren't even dating yet. Um.
So yes, Ritsuka was in his room all by himself, doing what all boys do when alone in their bedrooms: fiddling with his big pink stick.
"Okay, Ruby," he said, holding the stick in front of him. "I have a theory, but before that, it occurs to me that I haven't actually asked you – do you know how I can use Installs?"
"I feel as though I just got insulted in the narration… but okay, I'll answer your question! The answer is no, sorry."
"Ruby…"
"It's true! It was a total surprise when our last wielders started doing it. And once they did, they just kind of brute-forced their way into it through visualisation. Like, they already knew it was possible, so they didn't waste time figuring out how they did it? Anyway, you don't need a Kaleidostick to Include or Install – it's a Card thing, not a stick thing. We just make it easier! Like we do for everything!"
While Ritsuka tried not to react to the audaciously blatant bullshit Ruby had just uttered, he felt a little disappointment – although, to be honest, it had been a long shot. The sticks probably wouldn't pull the 'not telling their wielders about something they could totally do' stunt again. Not because they actually felt bad about it, just because they wouldn't be so unoriginal as to repeat a gag.
Besides. Ritsuka had an idea. "So much easier. Hey, mind letting me know a bit about how you sticks work?"
"Sure! What do you want to know, Master?"
"You access parallel worlds, right? That's how you get into the Mirror World, it's where you draw all that infinite magic from, it's generally what you're all about, right?"
Ruby did a happy spin. "You got it! In technical terms, we're Mystic Codes designed to emulate the Second Magic, but don't worry about that. Just know that we're the best!"
"So… are there parallel Ritsukas? Are there other Ritsukas who aren't Magical Boys at all, but who led totally different lives?"
"Yes! All of them, actually. There are parallel yous, but there is only one Magical Ruby! Also only one Magical Sapphire. And you got me for free! You're so lucky, Master."
"But there are other Ritsukas. Can you… access those as well? Like you access any other parallel world? What happens to me in that case?"
"Ooh, ooh, this is a good one!" Ruby bobbed up and down excitedly. "We actually never got the chance to show you this, but we can do so much more than just turn you into Magical Girls and Boys. Okay, pick a skill you've always wanted to try. Any skill, so long as it's something you can't do. And, um, is something you can easily demonstrate here, so no lion-taming or anything."
Ritsuka put his fist to his chin in thought, mind having gone utterly blank. It was like the peculiar magic which, once invoked by the dread incantation "Tell Us A Joke", immediately wiped every memory of every joke from one's mind. Now that he was being asked, he couldn't think of a single skill he remembered wanting to do – apart from, now Ruby had mentioned it, lion taming. (What? Lions were adorable, with their big fluffy faces and cuddly manes and – dammit, now he really just wanted to learn lion taming.)
"Okay," he said, picking something at random. "How about juggling?"
"Excellent choice, Master!" Ruby cackled. "Get ready! Prism Trance: Magical Jester Kaleido Garnet, set up!"
There was a depressingly familiar shower of pink sparkles. When it cleared, Ritsuka was dressed in what appeared to be an altered version of his basic Magical Boy outfit. There were a lot of ribbons and bells in peculiar places, and one of those big floppy double-horned hats.
Ritsuka felt his face. "Is… is this makeup? Ruby, did you turn me into a clown? This was not part of the deal."
Ruby did a jig in mid-air. "You're Magical Jester Kaleido Garnet! More importantly than that, Master, how do you feel?"
Decidedly too whimsical for his liking, was the answer, but there was no point in putting Ruby into a huff. Besides, there was something…
Ritsuka tossed his alarm clock into the air. A bottle of water joined it, followed by his phone and wallet. After a moment's thought, Ruby sailed upwards too, squealing in delight.
Usually at this point, whenever Ritsuka had tried juggling previously, he would at this point try to catch something, miss, throw the next item at speed over his left shoulder, then trip over his feet and land in a hail of debris.
This time, his hands moved with precise, unhurried motion, smoothly catching each object as it fell and tossing it back up. Just like he'd done a thousand times before… hadn't he? He blinked, hands faltering, then decided not to worry about it and let his hands work.
After a moment, he decided he didn't really need two hands for this. His right hand worked double time, flashing in and out, until he finally let everything land in a perfect circle on the bed.
"Huh," he said, dropping the transformation. "That was pretty cool, actually. So, just so I'm clear, what exactly happened there?"
Ruby rose up off the bed. "Just like you thought, Master, I'm using a variant on the Second Magic to temporarily overlay a different version of you onto, um, you. In this case, a you who decided to devote his life to juggling after running away to join the circus. Turning you into Kaleido Garnet is actually a similar process."
"Oh really? What extra skills are you giving us there?" Ritsuka asked.
"Um, well, you know, just generally useful stuff? Your basic Kaleido Garnet form is a mix of an athlete Ritsuka, a gymnast Ritsuka, and a fashion model Ritsuka. You can't layer too many different versions of yourself or you start getting interference, so I stuck to just the really important ones."
"Like the fashion model."
"It's to inspire as well as to protect! Magical Boy-ing 101, Master, I know you know that."
Ritsuka nodded, not really having expected anything different. Still, this meant his idea might actually work.
He picked up the Card he'd taken with him to practice. In his hands it felt like nothing more than cardboard, no hint as to the power inside. He turned it over, and examined the image on the front.
… it hadn't occurred before, but the old man with the staff looked nothing like the Caster he'd fought. That being the case, who was it? Or was it supposed to just be a representation of wizards in general? If so, who decided what went into that? Who drew the picture? The Cards were full of mystery, and not the fun kind that let you shoot fireballs.
Ritsuka became aware he was stalling.
It was the Card, that was the trouble. Of all the Class Cards he'd seen so far, the Caster Card had been his least favourite. What it had put him through before he'd managed to seal it had been the number one most unpleasant experience of his life. Now, he had to partially merge with it, and part of him couldn't shake the fear that it would plunge him back into its horrible world of illusion again.
But of all the Cards, Caster was the only one he felt he'd managed to make a connection with, even if that connection was one of severe dislike. And, more, it was a Heroic Spirit with a well-known history. That was important.
Ritsuka tapped the card on his knuckles a couple of times, then straightened up. "Okay, Ruby. We're going to do this in two stages. First… give me play-writing skills. If you can search for an author Ritsuka who still moved to London, that would be best."
"You got it, Master!"
A shower of pink later, Ritsuka was transformed – but he didn't bother checking what hideous get-up Ruby had stuck him in this time. Instead, he closed his eyes.
Words danced behind them. Plots, characters, scenes, they all came to him with ease, like they had ever since he was in school, the natural gift that had made him the star of Literature Club all through middle school and made him president when he was only a first-year high school student. (Some small part of him noticed a note of dissonance – but that same part knew how important it was to ignore it.)
He'd come to London to find work, to let his plays reach a larger audience than they could in Tokyo. (Never mind how Tokyo was larger population-wise than London, whispered some part of his mind still in control.) He'd left his family behind, but found a new one here, in this strange place, and now he was ready to show the world what he could do.
On autopilot, he lifted the card. After a moment's hesitation, he knelt and slapped it on the floor. A pink glow came through his closed eyelids. (He took it as a good sign.)
A good sign, yes. He was finally making something of himself here, exactly as he'd wanted. All he had to do was finish… whatever it was he was doing here, and then he'd go back to writing down all his new ideas. If his friends and family back in S****ford could see him now!
Pink light turned to green, and Ritsuka felt the transformation finish. He opened his eyes.
There was a moment of sheer incomprehension. What was this building? What were these strange devices? Out the window, how were those structures built so high?
(Then Ritsuka's controlling mind reasserted itself, riding the Caster Card's washed out memories and skills, making them his own. The Card was only barely aware, and put up almost no resistance. 'Almost no resistance' was still substantial coming from a Heroic Spirit, even a fragmented, degraded, bleached copy, but with Ruby's help he slowly took control.)
Ritsuka breathed deep, and looked down at himself. His usual costume had changed to a long green coat, Ruby in his hand had changed into the book – the First Folio, of course – and his other hand now held a quill. A quill with which to hold a mirror up to the world, to reimagine everything he saw anew, forever…
"I think we did it, Ruby," he said.
"We sure did! We're awesome, Master!"
Ritsuka turned to head out the door to give Mash the news…
… and his legs were the wrong shape, the wrong strength, his clothes rubbed oddly against his skin, his balance was off, he was too young and too old at the same time, what was going on…
… and Ritsuka stood as Kaleido Garnet once again.
"Darn it," he said. "I couldn't hold the Install, there was too much different all at once. It was me, but not quite me, but I was also driving the whole thing from the back, and the whole thing was also Shakespeare."
Ruby, now a stick again, wiggled in his hand. "Not to worry! Now you know it's possible, it should be much easier for you. And then it's just a matter of practicing until you can hold the contradictions in your head. Humans are really good at that!"
Ritsuka eyed his Kaleidostick, unsure if he'd just been insulted or not. Probably not, he judged. Besides, she wasn't wrong.
"Come on," he said. "Let's see if Lord El-Melloi II has any insight now we've succeeded once."
They went through into the living room, where the Lord still lounged on the sofa playing his DS. "Phone call for you," he said, gesturing at the answering machine without looking round.
The Director was fairly tech-savvy as magi went, although most of her experience was in experimental magitech designs for scrying stations and other things that made Ritsuka tune out about halfway through hearing the name. Not mass-produced everyday stuff, in any case – Mash had tried to give her a smartphone, but as far as Ritsuka knew the Director had refused to touch it ever since she activated Siri by accident and convinced herself it was an artificial intelligence.
In any case, in the Director's mind, houses had phones, and if you wanted to talk to someone in that house you called that phone. Simple. Ritsuka and Mash had spent an enjoyable afternoon searching for a place that actually sold answering machines in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen, and eventually found it in an antique shop.
"You didn't answer it?"
"Gym battle."
Ah. Understandable.
Ritsuka went to the ancient relic, and pushed the button.
"yOu HaVe ONE nEw MeSsAgE. mEsSaGe ONE:
'Hello, Mash, Ritsuka. I don't know if you've made any progress on Installs yet, but if not you'd better make a whole lot, and soon.
"'We've found the next Card.'"