Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Exactly.
The Steep Path Ahead [Familiar of Zero AU]
- Thread starter shadenight123
- Start date
Feng Lengshun
Z-Program Researcher
- Location
- Indonesia
Right after, he basically said "Yeah, I lied. And now I'm back being the usual me. Rejoice."...Meh, seems legit.
That's because it's Saito, not SINO
- Pronouns
- she/her
That Saito was a stupid perverted asshole.
This Saito is just stupid and perverted.
I can see why Shade would try to cut or downplay the asshole trait, but since vanilla Saito has very little to define himself outside that the stupid-pervert quirk is the only thing left.
- Location
- Somewhere
If you haven't all been taking this long opportunity to accumulate hugs on Shade, you've missed a march.
Chapter Nine
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter Nine
The clothes itched something fierce. Frankly, Saito would have preferred going naked rather than hold on to the clothes Luise had most generously found for him. At least they weren't girl's clothes, but the way each of his steps made him stop to scratch his skin didn't bode well at all.
Would it hurt to wash them, or do something in order to stop them from itching?
In the end, he opted for a solution that would satisfy everyone. He'd wear his normal clothes beneath the 'new' ones. This way, he wouldn't itch, and he wouldn't feel the cold.
It was a win-win situation.
Only, it didn't feel like a victory. Luise hadn't found her friends, nor the priests of her church. They hadn't decided to participate, and nobody had known anything about them -and an entire orphanage didn't just disappear in the middle of the night leaving behind no trace.
As Luise looked kind of defeated at the floor of the cheap inn where they had decided to rest, Saito couldn't help but feel pity for the girl. "Maybe they went to visit another monastery?" Saito hazarded.
"The closest one would be past the border," Luise retorted. "There's no way they'd allow us passage, not with the Zerbst' annual harass-the-Valliere about to start. You'd have to be a merchant or an adventurer."
"Aren't we?" Saito replied. "Adventurers, I mean."
"Killed a couple of wolves and you already think you're an adventurer?" Luise chuckled. "But well, I make things explode and call myself a mage-I guess it fits the bill," she said. "We'll need a certificate at least, and that costs money. Money we can acquire by doing adventurer jobs," Luise looked at Saito up and down. "But you'll need a sword. You can kill rats with daggers, but if we want to go big and kill bugbears or orcs, you'll need a sword."
With a nod, Luise opened her emergency pouch. "There's maybe enough for a cheap short sword, but since it's close to the annual festivity, they might drop the prices. What do you say?"
"Can't we just kill rats?" Saito hazarded, receiving a glare from Luise in turn.
"Look! It's not that I like this situation either, but killing rats would take us month of work just to get by, and rats eventually end, you know?! Orcs are dumb and big, and they're a threat to the countryside. Think of it as doing a bit of vermin control! You kill orcs, they don't kill farmers, farmers produce more food, and everyone is happy!"
Saito nervously chuckled. "But won't that be dangerous?"
Luise rolled her eyes. "Killing rats is even more dangerous. Don't you know how high the risk of catching the plague is? That's why they let adventurers handle the killing. If it was a safe job, they'd do it themselves rather than pay someone to do it for them." Crossing her arms in front of her chest, and tapping her right foot on the floor, she turned sideways. "Look-you don't look much. If you knew how to read and write, maybe we'd find you something, but you can barely read and writing's out of the question. You're a wimp, so working in the fields is out of the question. I could find a job as a barmaid, maybe-I'm hopefully cute enough, but!" she snapped towards Saito, "I'm not going to do all the work! So it's either killing orcs or finding a job in the city!"
It turned out finding a job in the city was not easy at all, especially for a foreigner like Saito. In the end, a compassionate blacksmith threw in a short sword and a cheap shield for the amount of money Luise had, and Saito -looking all the more the part of the adventurer of the typical JRPG, stared at the ever-so-stereotypical board filled with 'quests'.
Maybe if he viewed this as a 'game' he might even go somewhere.
He could imagine it, his class being 'Warrior' and his Hit Points and Stats being at the very start. He'd have to grind a bit, but soon enough-
"Here, we'll take this," Luise said. "Nice and easy, just what we need to get the hang of this," as she removed a parchment from the board, Saito gave a puzzled frown.
"Didn't you say we wouldn't be killing rats?"
"I'm not going to make you kill orcs if you can't even kill a rat!" Luise snapped back. "Who do you take me for? A slave driver?"
Saito merely shrugged. Well, killing rats wouldn't be that hard, would it? Sure, it was a 'colony' of rats, and sure, the place was slightly distant from the city itself, but it could be reached by foot by the end of the day, and anyway, how big could the rats be?
A lot.
When Saito stared at the rat's wide eyes, he stared at a rat that reached his height, with sharp, blood-encrusted fangs and twitching whiskers.
"You know how it is," the nearby mage who had put up the 'quest' explained, "Alchemy experiments-I didn't mean to make them grow that much-it was meant for the crops."
Saito stared at the large rat as it scurried around the hall of the small villa, a simple manor but with all the traces of good decor within it. Well, that had been before the rat army attacked and turned it all into a furious pile of broken furniture and rat excrement. The terrified mage remained out of the door, waving a 'good luck' to Luise and Saito.
"So," Luise said. "You ready?"
In answer, Saito merely stared back at Luise with the giant rat having dug its teeth into his shield. "While you were busy talking, I was busy getting eaten. A hand?"
Luise rolled her eyes, her wand coming up and starting to move in the air. "It's just one lonely giant rat-"
The door nearby swung open as a dozen or more rushed out, forcing Saito to kick the one gnawing on his shield and before rushing to protect Luise. "More like a dozen!" he shrilly screamed.
As Luise finished the chant for 'Fireball', instead of the typical low-level explosion, a shower of rat innards suddenly dropped from the skies, the result of the spell having somehow packed more of a 'punch' than a 'blast'.
"U-U-Urk!" Saito barfed, even as Luise began to tremble and removed 'something best left unmentioned' from her hair.
The nearby rats skittered back to their hiding spots around the mansion.
"C-Come on," Luise said through hissed teeth. "W-What. You d-didn't think I could-could do something l-like this, uh!? A-Are you in a-awe now!?"
In answer, Saito retched once more, holding a hand up for a 'time-out'.
"L-let's," Luise stammered out, "L-let's k-keep going," she added taking a few shaky steps forward. "Th-they're j-just rats!"
Taking a small breath -a big one would just make him retch more- Saito stood up and began to follow next to Luise.
Thus, the tale of the Rat Hunters extraordinaire began in earnest.
The clothes itched something fierce. Frankly, Saito would have preferred going naked rather than hold on to the clothes Luise had most generously found for him. At least they weren't girl's clothes, but the way each of his steps made him stop to scratch his skin didn't bode well at all.
Would it hurt to wash them, or do something in order to stop them from itching?
In the end, he opted for a solution that would satisfy everyone. He'd wear his normal clothes beneath the 'new' ones. This way, he wouldn't itch, and he wouldn't feel the cold.
It was a win-win situation.
Only, it didn't feel like a victory. Luise hadn't found her friends, nor the priests of her church. They hadn't decided to participate, and nobody had known anything about them -and an entire orphanage didn't just disappear in the middle of the night leaving behind no trace.
As Luise looked kind of defeated at the floor of the cheap inn where they had decided to rest, Saito couldn't help but feel pity for the girl. "Maybe they went to visit another monastery?" Saito hazarded.
"The closest one would be past the border," Luise retorted. "There's no way they'd allow us passage, not with the Zerbst' annual harass-the-Valliere about to start. You'd have to be a merchant or an adventurer."
"Aren't we?" Saito replied. "Adventurers, I mean."
"Killed a couple of wolves and you already think you're an adventurer?" Luise chuckled. "But well, I make things explode and call myself a mage-I guess it fits the bill," she said. "We'll need a certificate at least, and that costs money. Money we can acquire by doing adventurer jobs," Luise looked at Saito up and down. "But you'll need a sword. You can kill rats with daggers, but if we want to go big and kill bugbears or orcs, you'll need a sword."
With a nod, Luise opened her emergency pouch. "There's maybe enough for a cheap short sword, but since it's close to the annual festivity, they might drop the prices. What do you say?"
"Can't we just kill rats?" Saito hazarded, receiving a glare from Luise in turn.
"Look! It's not that I like this situation either, but killing rats would take us month of work just to get by, and rats eventually end, you know?! Orcs are dumb and big, and they're a threat to the countryside. Think of it as doing a bit of vermin control! You kill orcs, they don't kill farmers, farmers produce more food, and everyone is happy!"
Saito nervously chuckled. "But won't that be dangerous?"
Luise rolled her eyes. "Killing rats is even more dangerous. Don't you know how high the risk of catching the plague is? That's why they let adventurers handle the killing. If it was a safe job, they'd do it themselves rather than pay someone to do it for them." Crossing her arms in front of her chest, and tapping her right foot on the floor, she turned sideways. "Look-you don't look much. If you knew how to read and write, maybe we'd find you something, but you can barely read and writing's out of the question. You're a wimp, so working in the fields is out of the question. I could find a job as a barmaid, maybe-I'm hopefully cute enough, but!" she snapped towards Saito, "I'm not going to do all the work! So it's either killing orcs or finding a job in the city!"
It turned out finding a job in the city was not easy at all, especially for a foreigner like Saito. In the end, a compassionate blacksmith threw in a short sword and a cheap shield for the amount of money Luise had, and Saito -looking all the more the part of the adventurer of the typical JRPG, stared at the ever-so-stereotypical board filled with 'quests'.
Maybe if he viewed this as a 'game' he might even go somewhere.
He could imagine it, his class being 'Warrior' and his Hit Points and Stats being at the very start. He'd have to grind a bit, but soon enough-
"Here, we'll take this," Luise said. "Nice and easy, just what we need to get the hang of this," as she removed a parchment from the board, Saito gave a puzzled frown.
"Didn't you say we wouldn't be killing rats?"
"I'm not going to make you kill orcs if you can't even kill a rat!" Luise snapped back. "Who do you take me for? A slave driver?"
Saito merely shrugged. Well, killing rats wouldn't be that hard, would it? Sure, it was a 'colony' of rats, and sure, the place was slightly distant from the city itself, but it could be reached by foot by the end of the day, and anyway, how big could the rats be?
A lot.
When Saito stared at the rat's wide eyes, he stared at a rat that reached his height, with sharp, blood-encrusted fangs and twitching whiskers.
"You know how it is," the nearby mage who had put up the 'quest' explained, "Alchemy experiments-I didn't mean to make them grow that much-it was meant for the crops."
Saito stared at the large rat as it scurried around the hall of the small villa, a simple manor but with all the traces of good decor within it. Well, that had been before the rat army attacked and turned it all into a furious pile of broken furniture and rat excrement. The terrified mage remained out of the door, waving a 'good luck' to Luise and Saito.
"So," Luise said. "You ready?"
In answer, Saito merely stared back at Luise with the giant rat having dug its teeth into his shield. "While you were busy talking, I was busy getting eaten. A hand?"
Luise rolled her eyes, her wand coming up and starting to move in the air. "It's just one lonely giant rat-"
The door nearby swung open as a dozen or more rushed out, forcing Saito to kick the one gnawing on his shield and before rushing to protect Luise. "More like a dozen!" he shrilly screamed.
As Luise finished the chant for 'Fireball', instead of the typical low-level explosion, a shower of rat innards suddenly dropped from the skies, the result of the spell having somehow packed more of a 'punch' than a 'blast'.
"U-U-Urk!" Saito barfed, even as Luise began to tremble and removed 'something best left unmentioned' from her hair.
The nearby rats skittered back to their hiding spots around the mansion.
"C-Come on," Luise said through hissed teeth. "W-What. You d-didn't think I could-could do something l-like this, uh!? A-Are you in a-awe now!?"
In answer, Saito retched once more, holding a hand up for a 'time-out'.
"L-let's," Luise stammered out, "L-let's k-keep going," she added taking a few shaky steps forward. "Th-they're j-just rats!"
Taking a small breath -a big one would just make him retch more- Saito stood up and began to follow next to Luise.
Thus, the tale of the Rat Hunters extraordinaire began in earnest.
- Location
- Hungary
Out of curiosity what skill does Saito have? is he good at tactics? Math? Music, perhaps? Literature, maybe? Or has his life in the modern world not given him any "civilized" skills he can use?
The reason I'm asking this is that most modern people, even if they aren't able to write the local language, should be extremely good at things that were rare in the past: If he's decent at math, for example, he might be able to completely revolutionize local mathematics (AFAIK Halk uses roman numerals, which are incredibly impractical when it comes to more complex uses- especially compared to Arabic numerals) Or if he's good at music, he might be able, once he gets enough money, to invest in an instrument and become a bard, reusing anything from simple ditties to complex masterpieces (Bards- and musicians in general- were in great demand in the past)
If he's good at tactics, he should be able, when combined with his super sword skill (SSS) to quickly rise in ranks and become a half-decent commander of some sort.
If his talents lie with history, he should be able to reproduce past innovations like four-field rotation, better plows and such. Getting a power-base to start up would be pretty dang hard, though.
If he's very good at physics or engineering, he... well... Let's just say that anybody with sufficient knowledge can kickstart a civilization from the 16th century into the start of the 19th century. though again, getting started would be difficult- though far from impossible, if he can invent some simple, easy, object, and start selling it (is there a patent system yet? Or would he have to sell plans to local guilds) Think of things like basic pens, steam powered pumps, kerosine lanterns, and such.
Oh and another thing- if he's good at both Mathematics and history, he should be able to pioneer a more modern banking system once he gets a sufficient starting fund. (Or start a lottery. I'm pretty sure he could get very, very rich with lotteries. Though Ethics might be a problem.)
None of these things NEED him to know how to write. The question is, is this Saito really the unknowledgable person he seems to be? or does he have some talent in one of the major fields?
(The reason I'm thinking this, is that many modern (19th century especially) things aren't especially difficult to recreate once you know the gist of it. For example I should be able to plan out a rudimentary sanitation system, with only high-school level physics.)
The reason I'm asking this is that most modern people, even if they aren't able to write the local language, should be extremely good at things that were rare in the past: If he's decent at math, for example, he might be able to completely revolutionize local mathematics (AFAIK Halk uses roman numerals, which are incredibly impractical when it comes to more complex uses- especially compared to Arabic numerals) Or if he's good at music, he might be able, once he gets enough money, to invest in an instrument and become a bard, reusing anything from simple ditties to complex masterpieces (Bards- and musicians in general- were in great demand in the past)
If he's good at tactics, he should be able, when combined with his super sword skill (SSS) to quickly rise in ranks and become a half-decent commander of some sort.
If his talents lie with history, he should be able to reproduce past innovations like four-field rotation, better plows and such. Getting a power-base to start up would be pretty dang hard, though.
If he's very good at physics or engineering, he... well... Let's just say that anybody with sufficient knowledge can kickstart a civilization from the 16th century into the start of the 19th century. though again, getting started would be difficult- though far from impossible, if he can invent some simple, easy, object, and start selling it (is there a patent system yet? Or would he have to sell plans to local guilds) Think of things like basic pens, steam powered pumps, kerosine lanterns, and such.
Oh and another thing- if he's good at both Mathematics and history, he should be able to pioneer a more modern banking system once he gets a sufficient starting fund. (Or start a lottery. I'm pretty sure he could get very, very rich with lotteries. Though Ethics might be a problem.)
None of these things NEED him to know how to write. The question is, is this Saito really the unknowledgable person he seems to be? or does he have some talent in one of the major fields?
(The reason I'm thinking this, is that many modern (19th century especially) things aren't especially difficult to recreate once you know the gist of it. For example I should be able to plan out a rudimentary sanitation system, with only high-school level physics.)
Last edited:
- Location
- In a stand
>Saito
>Skills
As far as I remember, Saito was pretty much a blank character. The only thing that he had going on was that he didn't understood stuff for being new to the dimension. Yes, I know some accounting and in Could get me some well paid job, but there's the thing about how will you believe a random peasant telling you he has such an advanced education. I know if I wanted to sell the idea I would need something to show for its usefulness., and it's advantages against the current alternative.
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Saito is defined as an 'average student' with 'average' skills and that has no purpose in life or determination to see it through.
Literally. If he had any hobby or interests, I might be able to stretch things out in that direction, but Saito literally doesn't have an ounce of proper characterization past the fact that he likes his mother's hamburgers and that he came back from having his computer repaired before ending up in Tristain.
So...
On 'Myanimelist.net' this is what it says of the character:
Age: 17
Height: 172 cm (5'8")
Birthday: December 9th
Favorite Food: Teriyaki Burgers
Hobbies: The Internet
Special Skills: Good with Action Games, Swordsmanship (This as a result of the Runes though!)
Hates: His P.E. Teacher
Weapon: Delflinger (デルフリンガー), a sentient sword.
So he even hates his P.E teacher! Meaning he's not good with sports either. Joy of joys.
Literally. If he had any hobby or interests, I might be able to stretch things out in that direction, but Saito literally doesn't have an ounce of proper characterization past the fact that he likes his mother's hamburgers and that he came back from having his computer repaired before ending up in Tristain.
So...
On 'Myanimelist.net' this is what it says of the character:
Age: 17
Height: 172 cm (5'8")
Birthday: December 9th
Favorite Food: Teriyaki Burgers
Hobbies: The Internet
Special Skills: Good with Action Games, Swordsmanship (This as a result of the Runes though!)
Hates: His P.E. Teacher
Weapon: Delflinger (デルフリンガー), a sentient sword.
So he even hates his P.E teacher! Meaning he's not good with sports either. Joy of joys.
- Location
- Hungary
I'd recommend retconning that, TBH. Make him have a hobby, be it skating or origami. - Just add some flavor to Saito other than "somewhat whiny otherwise bland teenager".
I imagine it's very difficult to make bland characters, well... interesting. In my experience there are very few true students with no hobbies or interests- though they do exist, I guess.
Last edited:
Dragonskyt
Ashen one, hearest thou my voice, still?
- Location
- Kiln of the First Flame
Probably best to exaggerate his Game Comparison attitude towards everything new around him.
-Looking at big opponents like they have weak points.
-Conversing with people like they are NPC.
-See requests as Quests.
That kind of thing, or maybe add some internet slang in the mix. How big are the odds of Saito being a member of 2Chan?
I thought he had a thing for military history?
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
That might be fanfiction bleed-over from 'Dog of War' or something similar to it.
That he might know how to pilot a jet and know its name out of the fact he has the Gandalfr runes is one thing. That he actually is a military history buff...
The Wikis all tell me nope. I mean, I know one shouldn't trust the FoZ wiki because they're horribly wrong sometimes, but...(really, if you do have anything that can characterize him more, give it to me! I'll gladly take it!)
Madou Sutegobana
Autocorrupt has been disabled.
- Location
- Twin Realms Mandala
Light novel Saito appeared to be less of a whiney loser and slightly adventurous at heart. Not smarter, or more skilled, but braver than usual.
The knowledge of Zero fighters is less of being a history buff, and more because of Japan's Educational Materials. Its like an American student being able to recognize Revolutionary War uniforms.
The knowledge of Zero fighters is less of being a history buff, and more because of Japan's Educational Materials. Its like an American student being able to recognize Revolutionary War uniforms.
Last edited:
Feng Lengshun
Z-Program Researcher
- Location
- Indonesia
Stupid Devil Dog. It was a shitty fanfic.
Ask the back to basic threads on SB?
Chapter Ten
- Location
- https://discord.gg/z9tBvbh
Chapter Ten
Saito shuddered as he scrubbed himself clean. The mage had gracefully offered his mansion for the night, and they had accepted so fast it had made them both chuckle by how immediate their 'Yes!' had been. Since there was more than one bath, it wasn't a problem if they both went ahead and bathed -just as long as they used different baths. There also was hot water.
One should never insult the beauty of hot water. Hot water was...Saito had grown accustomed to it, both in washing his hands and bathing, when he was back home. Here, hot water was a luxury, and what a luxury it was!
He had half a mind to ask the noble if perhaps he needed a butler or something, just as long as he'd get paid in hot water baths!
By the time he was done and stepped outside, he felt like a new man. After a hard day of work, nothing but a hot bath and warm food could possibly top it off.
Was this the feeling of being a successful member of society? Well, his father worked as a government clerk, so maybe his job was boring, but did he feel this way too when he returned home and dropped half-catatonic on the sofa to watch the television? If so, he couldn't understand his near-narcolepsy the moment he finished eating.
Saito had never felt so alive. It had been straight out of a roleplaying game, with him swinging his sword and Luise making rats...well, no, bad memory!
Mages really were powerful in this world. If Luise, who wasn't even a proper one -he had heard her, after all- could make giant rats explode, then what could a fully fledged mage do? He shrugged the thought off and proceeded to the dining room. Luise and him had also cleaned the place up as a bonus, and the noble had been so grateful he'd added an extra to the pay.
Apparently, he was starting to get desperate since nobody wanted the job, and had been sleeping in the shed in the garden for the past days. One thing that Saito noticed the moment they sat down for dinner was the glow on Luise's face. The girl was probably in a state of bliss just like he was from the hot bath, and it showed.
The extremely garish strawberry blond hair though -was that a dye or her natural hair color?
As they turned in for the night after dinner, Luise sighed and stretched a bit. "We got lucky the guy's new nobility," she said. "If it had been one of the old nobles, we would have been sent on our way by the butler, I guess."
"Uh?" Saito raised an eyebrow.
"It's something the head priest explained to me," Luise said, reaching for the room that had been assigned to them and jumping on her bed to dangle her legs. The room was a pretty simple servant's quarter, but with four beds lined up and a small desk by each side. A pair of candles were lit to give off a subdued atmosphere, and in the silence of the mansion, only his and her breathing were heard. "The emperor gives out noble titles to anyone who pays for them and has land on his back. It doesn't matter if they're mages or not."
"And why is that a bad thing?" Saito asked.
"Because he's doing it as a way to gather more power," Luise replied. "If many nobles own their titles and privileges to him, they're less likely to go against his wishes. And the more noble there are, the less power the old nobles have. They also have a duty to levy armies to fight in wars," she added. "And after the death of the thirty kings a decade ago, the emperor's power is basically unmatched. The church too-it could halt him once, but now there's no chance of it happening because of the Reformed Sect being definitely in the pockets of the emperor."
Saito blinked. "Well-I see, but does it matter to us?"
"Not really," Luise shrugged. "We're adventurers. We are maybe one step above mercenaries because we don't kill humans, but do pest control." She stretched a bit more. "And now off to bed, partner. Tomorrow we're leaving after breakfast on the double," she grinned as she dropped her head against the pillow, a half moan of pleasure rushing out of her throat. "This is the life."
Saito mimicked her, but on his bed, and sighed. "Yeah," he acquiesced.
"We're dealing with orcs as our next mission," Luise said. "You got the hang of the sword and the shield?"
"Guess so," Saito said. "It's not like I have to do much. I just grab hold of it and suddenly I know how to use it," he added. "It's like having a cheat trick that gives you max proficiency."
"I don't know about a 'cheat trick', but it's your familiar's ability, so it's yours. I'm sure stronger familiars would have stronger abilities. I guess a gryphon or a dragon is pretty strong by itself, so they don't need stuff like that," Luise said in a murmur, her eyes starting to drop.
"Uh-uh," Saito replied as he yawned, making Luise yawn in turn. "Night then."
"Night," and as Luise flicked her wand, the candles' tips all 'blew off'.
There was silence for a moment. "I meant to do that," Luise said.
"Sure," Saito grumbled, wax on his face. "Of course you did," as he gripped the molten wax off his face, he dropped it on the floor next to him and fell asleep shortly after.
The next morning saw the two 'would-be adventurers' stepping back into action with a delicate case of...
Package delivery.
"Handle with care," Luise grumbled, "Protect with your life," she added under her breath. "Pay's good and job's short and sweet, but really," she stared at the 'package' in question. "Why does it have to be a naked woman?"
It was a painting. It was a painting that held a woman covered by only a flimsy veil, and that was being carried from one mansion to another by hand due to the risk of it being damaged if placed on a cart. Saito simply laughed nervously as he held on to the front of the painting, leaving it to Luise to direct him across the not-trafficked roads of the middle of the day.
"Well, nobody's around to point," Saito said.
"It's still humiliating," Luise grumbled. "What did the guy even mean with 'it's not like orcs spawn overnight'?! We could have gone hunting gnolls, or kobolds, or more rats at least!"
"Now, now," Saito said with a smile. "This is nice, isn't it?"
"Sure," Luise grumbled. "It demeans my whole self as a future nun, but yes, why not, it's 'nice' to carry this piece of depraved artwork through the city without even being allowed to cover it up. Shameful, utterly shameful!"
"We're nearly there," Saito said once more, trying to placate his partner. "Just a short distance away now."
Luise bristled. "Why can't you show a bit of shock too? Does nothing throw you off?"
Saito furrowed his brows. "I was thrown off when I appeared here, you know?"
"Still! We're transporting...dangerous pornography! This painting-whoever painted it must be a world renowned pervert!"
As Luise bickered on and on along the road, Saito hummed contently.
Well, if this was the adventurer's life, then it wasn't that bad of a thing now, was it?
Saito shuddered as he scrubbed himself clean. The mage had gracefully offered his mansion for the night, and they had accepted so fast it had made them both chuckle by how immediate their 'Yes!' had been. Since there was more than one bath, it wasn't a problem if they both went ahead and bathed -just as long as they used different baths. There also was hot water.
One should never insult the beauty of hot water. Hot water was...Saito had grown accustomed to it, both in washing his hands and bathing, when he was back home. Here, hot water was a luxury, and what a luxury it was!
He had half a mind to ask the noble if perhaps he needed a butler or something, just as long as he'd get paid in hot water baths!
By the time he was done and stepped outside, he felt like a new man. After a hard day of work, nothing but a hot bath and warm food could possibly top it off.
Was this the feeling of being a successful member of society? Well, his father worked as a government clerk, so maybe his job was boring, but did he feel this way too when he returned home and dropped half-catatonic on the sofa to watch the television? If so, he couldn't understand his near-narcolepsy the moment he finished eating.
Saito had never felt so alive. It had been straight out of a roleplaying game, with him swinging his sword and Luise making rats...well, no, bad memory!
Mages really were powerful in this world. If Luise, who wasn't even a proper one -he had heard her, after all- could make giant rats explode, then what could a fully fledged mage do? He shrugged the thought off and proceeded to the dining room. Luise and him had also cleaned the place up as a bonus, and the noble had been so grateful he'd added an extra to the pay.
Apparently, he was starting to get desperate since nobody wanted the job, and had been sleeping in the shed in the garden for the past days. One thing that Saito noticed the moment they sat down for dinner was the glow on Luise's face. The girl was probably in a state of bliss just like he was from the hot bath, and it showed.
The extremely garish strawberry blond hair though -was that a dye or her natural hair color?
As they turned in for the night after dinner, Luise sighed and stretched a bit. "We got lucky the guy's new nobility," she said. "If it had been one of the old nobles, we would have been sent on our way by the butler, I guess."
"Uh?" Saito raised an eyebrow.
"It's something the head priest explained to me," Luise said, reaching for the room that had been assigned to them and jumping on her bed to dangle her legs. The room was a pretty simple servant's quarter, but with four beds lined up and a small desk by each side. A pair of candles were lit to give off a subdued atmosphere, and in the silence of the mansion, only his and her breathing were heard. "The emperor gives out noble titles to anyone who pays for them and has land on his back. It doesn't matter if they're mages or not."
"And why is that a bad thing?" Saito asked.
"Because he's doing it as a way to gather more power," Luise replied. "If many nobles own their titles and privileges to him, they're less likely to go against his wishes. And the more noble there are, the less power the old nobles have. They also have a duty to levy armies to fight in wars," she added. "And after the death of the thirty kings a decade ago, the emperor's power is basically unmatched. The church too-it could halt him once, but now there's no chance of it happening because of the Reformed Sect being definitely in the pockets of the emperor."
Saito blinked. "Well-I see, but does it matter to us?"
"Not really," Luise shrugged. "We're adventurers. We are maybe one step above mercenaries because we don't kill humans, but do pest control." She stretched a bit more. "And now off to bed, partner. Tomorrow we're leaving after breakfast on the double," she grinned as she dropped her head against the pillow, a half moan of pleasure rushing out of her throat. "This is the life."
Saito mimicked her, but on his bed, and sighed. "Yeah," he acquiesced.
"We're dealing with orcs as our next mission," Luise said. "You got the hang of the sword and the shield?"
"Guess so," Saito said. "It's not like I have to do much. I just grab hold of it and suddenly I know how to use it," he added. "It's like having a cheat trick that gives you max proficiency."
"I don't know about a 'cheat trick', but it's your familiar's ability, so it's yours. I'm sure stronger familiars would have stronger abilities. I guess a gryphon or a dragon is pretty strong by itself, so they don't need stuff like that," Luise said in a murmur, her eyes starting to drop.
"Uh-uh," Saito replied as he yawned, making Luise yawn in turn. "Night then."
"Night," and as Luise flicked her wand, the candles' tips all 'blew off'.
There was silence for a moment. "I meant to do that," Luise said.
"Sure," Saito grumbled, wax on his face. "Of course you did," as he gripped the molten wax off his face, he dropped it on the floor next to him and fell asleep shortly after.
The next morning saw the two 'would-be adventurers' stepping back into action with a delicate case of...
Package delivery.
"Handle with care," Luise grumbled, "Protect with your life," she added under her breath. "Pay's good and job's short and sweet, but really," she stared at the 'package' in question. "Why does it have to be a naked woman?"
It was a painting. It was a painting that held a woman covered by only a flimsy veil, and that was being carried from one mansion to another by hand due to the risk of it being damaged if placed on a cart. Saito simply laughed nervously as he held on to the front of the painting, leaving it to Luise to direct him across the not-trafficked roads of the middle of the day.
"Well, nobody's around to point," Saito said.
"It's still humiliating," Luise grumbled. "What did the guy even mean with 'it's not like orcs spawn overnight'?! We could have gone hunting gnolls, or kobolds, or more rats at least!"
"Now, now," Saito said with a smile. "This is nice, isn't it?"
"Sure," Luise grumbled. "It demeans my whole self as a future nun, but yes, why not, it's 'nice' to carry this piece of depraved artwork through the city without even being allowed to cover it up. Shameful, utterly shameful!"
"We're nearly there," Saito said once more, trying to placate his partner. "Just a short distance away now."
Luise bristled. "Why can't you show a bit of shock too? Does nothing throw you off?"
Saito furrowed his brows. "I was thrown off when I appeared here, you know?"
"Still! We're transporting...dangerous pornography! This painting-whoever painted it must be a world renowned pervert!"
As Luise bickered on and on along the road, Saito hummed contently.
Well, if this was the adventurer's life, then it wasn't that bad of a thing now, was it?
And the runes start working their magic. Good luck Saito.
Last edited:
Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
Luse knows little of mankind's artistry habits, evidently. Or that a large chunk of the male population likes to draw naked ladies on occasion, provided they have the skill. And sometimes even when they don't.
Eh, they worked when the wolves attacked and he fended them off with a knife as well. That's never been in doubt. Glad to see he's reacting well to their use, though.
- Location
- 'Straya
I believe the relevant part of the runes working there isn't the combat buff, but instead the purported mind-controlling slave brand effects. I think that's mostly fanon (other than the homesickness suppression?), but since this is a Shade fic...
I think he was referring to the part that's supposed to deal with homesickness, etc (that level of it I think is canon).
Edit: Ninja'd.
Ars Poetica
ULTIMA RATIO NEMO OBLIGATUR
- Location
- The Kingdom of Fiore
- Pronouns
- He / Him / His
I don't want to say that Saito has probably seen so much worse than that painting and by comparison he'd probably mistake it for high art, but...
Last edited:
- Location
- Ireland
Yeah, anybody who has seen any bit of art will know that a lot of it is focused on the naked human body. However Louise's reaction to it is fitting for a pre-renaissance world.
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
On that note, if he figures out how to abuse the runes for Sculting, he could make some cash off of his (comparatively) extensive knowledge of porn.