Luciernagas
That One Guy...
- Pronouns
- He/Him/Daddy
Is what women mean when they say talk dirty to me 🤔😂
The Skillful Lockhart (HP)
- Thread starter Large_Farva
- Start date
I did my best to build a schedule based on canon. From what I've found and pieced together, Wednesday is free period, double 7th year, lunch, double 2nd year and the last class is 3rd year.
I'm sure the full schedule I built is completely true to canon, but it's pretty damn close.
Kuriboh
Self Insert Junkie
- Location
- Ohio
Too be fair something like the class schedule is really open ended to begin with. Considering that it is very much a background thing and wasn't needed to tell the story focusing on Harry.
Ch. 13
Making my way from the Great Hall after a hearty lunch, I kept thinking of my first class. It wasn't as bad as I feared, but it definitely didn't go as smoothly as I had envisioned. Teaching is not as easy I imagined it to be. The students were respectful enough, but by my estimation, their skill level was barely at the sixth-year level.
I had plenty of time to review most of the students' skill cards, and I wasn't impressed at all. A faint blue was the average level for their Defense Against the Dark Arts, and the other classes weren't much better. I wasn't sure what I would gain from taking cards from them at the moment.
Perhaps if I'm able to convince the students from wizarding families to learn some of their family magics over Christmas Hols, it might be worth it then. The noble families guard their family magics quite aggressively, but I don't have to ask or pry to gain it.
As it stands, I was forced to assign them homework. I didn't want to, mostly because I don't want to grade it, but I fail to see any other way. Well, any other way that doesn't tarnish my reputation or put Dumbledore on a more direct hunt after me.
Ol' Gil did have some mental defenses, so I doubt Dumbledore was able to use Legilimency during his interview to learn the truth. Which means, Dumbles is working on assumptions based on his relationship with two of Gil's victims. Ol' Gil didn't perform any magic while Albus was present, so the Headmaster shouldn't have a grasp on my skills. Plus, I'm sure Snape shared his experience of meeting my Occlumency shields during the staff meeting. That should create a small opening I can exploit.
Regardless, I need to start preparing for my confrontation with Dumbledore. Once he realizes I'm not the bumbling fraud he thought I was, the old goat will wish to speak with me, or worse, begin plotting to expose Ol' Gil's crimes.
I need a scapegoat to distract everyone or draw Dumblydore's focus away from me. Something that will let me coast under his radar. Hmm... If a scapegoat won't work, maybe a rat will do? I'll just need a reason to be on the lookout...
A high-pitched shrieking drew me from my thoughts. Looking in the direction of the commotion, I spot the huge form of Hagrid coming down the stairs with what appears to be a rounded cage under a thick sheet of leather. This looks promising.
"Hagrid," I call out in a jolly tone, "That sounds remarkably like pixies."
"Yeh be righ', professor," Hagrid confirmed in his deep rumbling voice. "Jus' caught dis here batch up in the fif' floor."
"Well done, old chap," I say with a winning smile. "You know, I've been meaning to speak to you."
"Oh," Hagrid curiously asked as he switched the cage to his other hand.
"Oh, yes. You see, I fear that my students are severely lacking in the practical sense," I begin as I move close enough to sneak a peek at the captured pixies. "I was hoping to recruit you into delving into the Forbidden Forest with me to wrangle up a few beasts for my classes."
"I don' know, professor," Hagrid hesitatingly began.
"I ensure you, Hagrid, the beasts will not be harmed. I merely wish to give my students some hands-on experience with creatures they are being taught to defend themselves against," I state in a compelling tone. Seeing he wasn't fully convinced, I went another route.
"Think of it as an extension of Care of Magical Creatures," I begin with a small smirk. "Wouldn't it be best for the students to know how to safely deal with various beasts, WITHOUT bringing undue harm to them?"
Hagrid's eyes brightened at my last comment, but he was still being reserved. "That does sound like a righ' good idea," Hagrid mumbled mostly to himself.
"I'll tell you what," I state as I seize the opportunity, "How about I take these pixies and use them for my next class. I'm sure Mr. Potter would be delighted to see such marvelous little creatures," I say with my charming smile. "We can even use this little experience to determine if bringing other creatures to class is a valid idea!"
"Well," Hagrid began as he slowly shifted the cage in my direction, "I bet Harry would enjoy seein' the little things," Hagrid said as he held the cage up a bit more.
"Wonderful," I triumphantly said as I reached out to take the cage. "Just you watch, my good man. After today, the students will be begging us for more!"
Hagrid allowed me to take the cage from him as he looked on with a hint of pink on his hairy cheeks. "Well, be careful wit' them," Hagrid said as he stepped aside. "Cornish pixies can be tricky lil blighters."
"Never fear, I, Gilderoy Lockhart, know just what to do," I confidently announce. "If all goes as well as I know it will, we can make a little excursion for more beasts to dazzle the students with," I happily say to hairy half-giant.
Hagrid doesn't verbally agree, but he does give his head a slight nod. Taking that for agreement, I reach up to pat him on the arm before turning back up the stairs. "I'll come to speak with you again Saturday," I inform the groundskeeper. "Have a good day, Hagrid."
"Yeh to, professor," Hagrid said with a small wave of his hand.
My steps were suddenly lighter, as I made my way up the stairs. If I could recruit Hagrid into catching me a few beasts for my classes, it would give me even more free time to work on my own magics. Of course, I will go with the half-giant on the first few occasions, and when I convince him to hunt more dangerous creatures. Improving my own martial magic is part of my plans after all.
Putting thoughts of Hagrid out of my mind, I quickly move to my classroom with my prize. I highly doubt I'll repeat the debacle seen in canon but, these little mischievous little buggers will help me cement my reputation and standing at Hogwarts.
Of course, I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to watching the chaos these beasties were about to rain down on my second-years!
I had plenty of time to review most of the students' skill cards, and I wasn't impressed at all. A faint blue was the average level for their Defense Against the Dark Arts, and the other classes weren't much better. I wasn't sure what I would gain from taking cards from them at the moment.
Perhaps if I'm able to convince the students from wizarding families to learn some of their family magics over Christmas Hols, it might be worth it then. The noble families guard their family magics quite aggressively, but I don't have to ask or pry to gain it.
As it stands, I was forced to assign them homework. I didn't want to, mostly because I don't want to grade it, but I fail to see any other way. Well, any other way that doesn't tarnish my reputation or put Dumbledore on a more direct hunt after me.
Ol' Gil did have some mental defenses, so I doubt Dumbledore was able to use Legilimency during his interview to learn the truth. Which means, Dumbles is working on assumptions based on his relationship with two of Gil's victims. Ol' Gil didn't perform any magic while Albus was present, so the Headmaster shouldn't have a grasp on my skills. Plus, I'm sure Snape shared his experience of meeting my Occlumency shields during the staff meeting. That should create a small opening I can exploit.
Regardless, I need to start preparing for my confrontation with Dumbledore. Once he realizes I'm not the bumbling fraud he thought I was, the old goat will wish to speak with me, or worse, begin plotting to expose Ol' Gil's crimes.
I need a scapegoat to distract everyone or draw Dumblydore's focus away from me. Something that will let me coast under his radar. Hmm... If a scapegoat won't work, maybe a rat will do? I'll just need a reason to be on the lookout...
A high-pitched shrieking drew me from my thoughts. Looking in the direction of the commotion, I spot the huge form of Hagrid coming down the stairs with what appears to be a rounded cage under a thick sheet of leather. This looks promising.
"Hagrid," I call out in a jolly tone, "That sounds remarkably like pixies."
"Yeh be righ', professor," Hagrid confirmed in his deep rumbling voice. "Jus' caught dis here batch up in the fif' floor."
"Well done, old chap," I say with a winning smile. "You know, I've been meaning to speak to you."
"Oh," Hagrid curiously asked as he switched the cage to his other hand.
"Oh, yes. You see, I fear that my students are severely lacking in the practical sense," I begin as I move close enough to sneak a peek at the captured pixies. "I was hoping to recruit you into delving into the Forbidden Forest with me to wrangle up a few beasts for my classes."
"I don' know, professor," Hagrid hesitatingly began.
"I ensure you, Hagrid, the beasts will not be harmed. I merely wish to give my students some hands-on experience with creatures they are being taught to defend themselves against," I state in a compelling tone. Seeing he wasn't fully convinced, I went another route.
"Think of it as an extension of Care of Magical Creatures," I begin with a small smirk. "Wouldn't it be best for the students to know how to safely deal with various beasts, WITHOUT bringing undue harm to them?"
Hagrid's eyes brightened at my last comment, but he was still being reserved. "That does sound like a righ' good idea," Hagrid mumbled mostly to himself.
"I'll tell you what," I state as I seize the opportunity, "How about I take these pixies and use them for my next class. I'm sure Mr. Potter would be delighted to see such marvelous little creatures," I say with my charming smile. "We can even use this little experience to determine if bringing other creatures to class is a valid idea!"
"Well," Hagrid began as he slowly shifted the cage in my direction, "I bet Harry would enjoy seein' the little things," Hagrid said as he held the cage up a bit more.
"Wonderful," I triumphantly said as I reached out to take the cage. "Just you watch, my good man. After today, the students will be begging us for more!"
Hagrid allowed me to take the cage from him as he looked on with a hint of pink on his hairy cheeks. "Well, be careful wit' them," Hagrid said as he stepped aside. "Cornish pixies can be tricky lil blighters."
"Never fear, I, Gilderoy Lockhart, know just what to do," I confidently announce. "If all goes as well as I know it will, we can make a little excursion for more beasts to dazzle the students with," I happily say to hairy half-giant.
Hagrid doesn't verbally agree, but he does give his head a slight nod. Taking that for agreement, I reach up to pat him on the arm before turning back up the stairs. "I'll come to speak with you again Saturday," I inform the groundskeeper. "Have a good day, Hagrid."
"Yeh to, professor," Hagrid said with a small wave of his hand.
My steps were suddenly lighter, as I made my way up the stairs. If I could recruit Hagrid into catching me a few beasts for my classes, it would give me even more free time to work on my own magics. Of course, I will go with the half-giant on the first few occasions, and when I convince him to hunt more dangerous creatures. Improving my own martial magic is part of my plans after all.
Putting thoughts of Hagrid out of my mind, I quickly move to my classroom with my prize. I highly doubt I'll repeat the debacle seen in canon but, these little mischievous little buggers will help me cement my reputation and standing at Hogwarts.
Of course, I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to watching the chaos these beasties were about to rain down on my second-years!
Mingo
Son of a Hazmot
What if it's possible for Lockhart to copy his own skillcards and give the skills to others? Considering how self-centered he is I doubt he's ever even considered the possibility. Something to think about?
EnygmaSoul
Company of Negotiable Virtue
- Location
- In your eyes and in your arms and in your head.
When I first saw this thread's title, I was happy.
Then I saw it was about Gilderoy and not Tifa, and I was sad.
Then I saw it was about Gilderoy and not Tifa, and I was sad.
I think you answered your own question. With as self-centered and narcissistic as the MC is, what would he gain by giving others his 'hard earned' skills?
- Location
- Morocco
- Pronouns
- Nameless
Delegation, he can rip admin, marketing and other manager type skills from muggles and get himself a loyal slave that will care for his every need and handle his every business with the expert skills.
A perfect butler for the perfect man.
Mingo
Son of a Hazmot
So that he may become known as the greatest DADA professor in history of course!
🤔 This has merit.
One thing is for certain, it will be hard to repeat the incident with the Pixies.
I wonder if the MC will do a test regarding first year knowledge or throw other subjects into it. I know that Hermione will probably be beaming with excitement over the new curriculum.
I wonder if the MC will do a test regarding first year knowledge or throw other subjects into it. I know that Hermione will probably be beaming with excitement over the new curriculum.
Modus_Tollens
SCREAMING AT THE APOCALYPSE
- Location
- ALSO SCREAMING.
After some point you run short of things that you can meaningfully upgrade in a given day. You've already yoinked every Legendary in the school, you have pulled a Master from every professor... and at that point you are sitting in a goddamn sea of Journeyman cards that can't really be used to upgrade anything enough to bother with. You could stack twenty Journeyman cards and it wouldn't equal one Master card that you could easily acquire at a later date.
Now you can either try to stack them anyway and get, oh, a slightly better ass wiping charm our of it... or you can get crafty. Take the best seventh year student you have at occlumency at the end of the year and drop his or her skill card right onto Potter during a one night special tutoring session. You have lost nothing of importance, you have acquired some serious favor, and you have cemented your reputation of being a tutoring genius. And you just put a chaos butterfly the size of Mothra into the series narrative.
Hell. At the very least you should experiment once with a card of minimal importance to see if its possible. Also to see if you can take the card back again. Imagine handing out Journeyman cards to your harder working students, letting them naturally upgrade them to Master class, and recollecting them at the end of the year and stacking them into something barely shy of Legendary. You should also find out if having a card taken back results in the recipient losing the associated skills, which would make this a wicked faustian bargain.
Or even see what happens if you try to put a card into something that shouldn't have it. Like pumping an actual owl full of linguistics skills. Do you get a proper familiar? Or an item. Do you get an enchanted item like the diadem that improves a skill or is better used in conjunction with that skill?
I wouldn't risk a good card, at least at first, but its worth looking at.
Modus_Tollens
SCREAMING AT THE APOCALYPSE
- Location
- ALSO SCREAMING.
You can do a hell of a lot under the blanket of Enlightened Self Interest.
Lockhart can look any man in the face and tell them with perfect honesty that the things he is doing... he is doing them all for himself. He could admit that that with a grin and the audience would adore him for it. He would be an endearing rogue doing what most of us can't quite get up the nerve for, taking every opportunity the world leaves lying about without a proper goal beyond just seeing how far he can go.
It does not cheapen an act when one performs it for selfish reasons. A man might wish to be loved and to love himself, he may invest in the concept of legacy as a means of immortality, he may find himself intoxicated with the pure rush he gets from his deeds, perhaps he realized that friends are a means toward power. Perhaps he is acting simply to make the world he if forced to live in a little less ugly. There are reasons without number and, sometimes, even selflessness is its own selfishness.
Don't screw over people lightly and you are alright.
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Ch. 14
***Not fully RAW, but close enough***
Under a powerful Disillusionment Charm, I watched the second-years file in from behind my desk. The two houses stuck close to their own, the Slytherins taking the left side of the class while the Gryffindors filled in the right side.
Judging by the smirks on Draco Malfoy and his two human shaped trolls, I believe it safe to assume he came out the better in one of his spats with Harry Potter. I'm not a fan of bullying, but I saw this as beneficial to Mr. Potter. If he's to face Voldemort, then the little disputes with Malfoy will help set the ground work for his rebelliousness.
Who knows, I might even contribute a bit more to Mr. Potter myself, past my obviously stellar lessons. The thought of a slightly more competent Boy-Who-Lived going against the Dark Lord will only benefit everyone, and I won't have to step in and finish the Lord Noseless myself.
My attention locked onto a freckle-faced ginger and his messy-haired companion as they angrily stomped into the classroom. Ron Weasley was a round-faced kid with fire-red hair. The assumed Harry Potter had a narrow nose and vibrant green eyes behind his glasses. The boy definitely needed to eat more, there was hardly any baby-fat on his twelve-year-old cheeks.
Without a professor in sight, several of the students leaned into groups and began chatting. I allowed the students their moment of gossiping as I waited for a late arrival to find his seat. With the light-haired Gryffindor situated, it was time to get things started.
Concentrating on the door, I grinned in triumph when it slammed shut. My grin only increased when several girls little out startled screams from the unexpected boom of wood on stone. As the students turned around in their seats to observe where the noise came from, I took the opportunity to stand up.
"Welcome!" I boomed, generating another series of screams. "Tsk. Tsk. So easily startled," I murmured more to myself as I moved around my desk. I made sure to run my hand over the covered cage of pixies to get a small reaction from them. Noting the looks of alarm towards the cage, I put on a charming smile.
"I, Gilderoy Lockhart, adventurer extraordinaire, best-selling author, and now, your beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. It is my responsibility to pass on my vast knowledge and experience, so that you may arm yourselves against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind!" I declare while oozing confidence and charm.
I quickly tone down both as I notice several of the young ladies casting star-struck looks my way. Twelve-year-olds should not be giving that look to anyone, even if it is me, especially if it's me! I banish such thoughts as I refocus on the task at hand.
"Now," I call out in a business-like manner, "Hold up your summer homework." I believe I successfully said that without frowning this time.
As each student began holding up sheets of parchment, I used a bit of wandless magic to gather the bane of my free time and set it on my desk. Another wave sends the second-year review tests hurdling towards the occupied desks. I effortlessly pretend I don't see the fawning looks being cast my way.
"We will be starting with a review test," I say in way of introduction to the papers now resting in front of my students. As hushed grumbles sprung up around the room, I felt the need to speak up. "Now, now. One must know where they are, before setting out on a journey!"
Seeing several students hurriedly jotting down answers, I raise my palm towards the room and watch as everyone stills at my spell. A handy little piece of magic that.
"It would behoove you to take this little review seriously," I warn. "If I feel I must dedicate more time to first-year spells... That will only mean more homework for the lot of you," I finish and grant the frozen students their freedom. "You have fifteen minutes!"
I ignore the excited buzzing of little voices as I retake my seat behind my desk. The pixie cage rattles again as I prop my feet up to get comfortable. I flip over my enchanted hourglass as I delve back into my own reading.
All too soon, my hourglass gives a crisp chirp and I'm forced to put my book down. "Times up! Quills down," I announce as I move around my desk.
Waving both my arms the room was filled with the fluttering of flying parchment. The review tests were soaring off of desks only to be replaced with my paper on Occlumency.
"The sheet of paper I'm passing out now isn't something that we'll be placing a great deal of focus on this year," I say to my students. "However, as your beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I feel that it's my duty that you're informed of how to defend your minds."
"Defend our minds?" A brown-haired Slytherin girl asks.
"Of course," I say as I grace the curious child with a smile. "Occlumency is the art of defending your mind from Legilimency. It allows you to protect your thoughts from others and from creatures such as boggarts and dark-haired dungeons bats!" I finish with a chortle at my own inside joke.
Unexpectedly the hidden pixies use that moment to give their cage a vigorous shake. "Pay no attention to the cage, students," I dismissively wave. "Those vicious beasts are for my next class."
"Professor," a brown-haired Gryffindor called from his seat in the back. "What's in the cage?"
"Well," I draw out for dramatic effect, "I suppose I can allow a small peek, IF, you all are able to keep yourselves from provoking them," I finish as I lay my hand on the leather sheet. I survey the room and make note of the looks of anticipation being cast at the cage.
I really should stick to the lesson plan, but this seems like so much more fun!
"I present to you," I emphasize dramatically, "Cornish Pixies!" I finish as I sweep the cover off with a grand flourish.
Like little electric blue imps, the pixies immediately begin wildly rattling the cage and making rude faces at the closest students. If you used your imagination just a bit, you could make out possible insults in their shrill voices.
As I triumphantly stand before the class, I make note of the many disappointed faces. As if on cue, a catch the sound of a few snorts. Perfect...
"Yes?" I ask an Irish boy in Gryffindor colors.
"They're," Seamus Finnigan started before he chokes back a laugh, "They're not very dangerous, are they?" The Irish boy asked before breaking out in a choked laugh.
"Not very dangerous?" I haltingly ask myself. "Let's find out," I declare before swinging the cage door wide open!
Like blue colored bottle-rockets, the pixies shot out in every direction. Failing to break through the enchanted windows, the little blue blighters turned their attention to the screaming children. It was instant pandemonium! I gleefully laughed as my students dove under their desks as an assault of paper wads, open ink jars, and flying backpacks rained down on them from the flying pixies.
"Atta boy, Mr. Longbottom," I called out as two pixies were picking the shy Gryffindor up into the air. "Take the fight to them!"
"That's using your head, Mr. Weasley," I shouted towards the ginger after a pixie impacted against his face! I continued to stand in front of the room and laugh at the dismay of my adorably horror-struck students.
Fearing one of my students would remember they have magic and steal my thunder, I let my wand drop into my hand. With a grand wave of my wand, all the pixies come to a complete halt. Another wave of my wand and the pixies zoom back into the cage as if pulled in my a vacuum.
As the sheltered kiddies begin to crawl out from their hiding spots, my wand whooshes over the room in another overly grand flourish. A hundred little things begin to right themselves as the wide-eyed children try to take everything in. The ink was pulled off of clothes and desks and funneled back into ink jars, books reassembled themselves, backpacks flew towards their owners, and even Mr. Longbottom was detached from the chandelier and floated back to his seat.
"I guess I forgot to mention that Cornish Pixies are labeled a XXX creature by the Ministry. The very same category as the poisonous doxy, the blood-thirsty red cap, and the mischievous leprechaun," I dutifully inform.
"Of course, XXX states that competent wizards should be able to cope with said beasts," I thoughtfully state. "After this little display of magicless combat, I'll let you make of that what you will."
As I thoroughly ignore the scalding looks being cast my way, I through the leather sheet back over the pixie cage after a quick check to make sure I caught them all. Once satisfied I have them all, I merrily turn back to my audience.
"A few things I need to address," I announce as I pose with a hand on my hip. "I didn't see a single one of you attempt to cast a spell of any sort during that entire debacle. Everyone failed to remain calm and look at the situation objectively," I finished in a remorseful tone.
"But have no fear," I suddenly shout, "I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will rectify your poor performance, and see to it that each and every one of you will possess the skills needed to successfully defend yourselves, much like I have, countless times!"
I can't help but smirk at the distraught looks on several of the less dedicated students. "And Mr. Weasley, your wand is in desperate need of repair. Any spell you attempt will have disastrous results. So, I recommend you visit Mr. Ollivander or the Headmaster to see your wand fixed," I finish just before a bell chime, signally the end of class.
As the class began gathering their belongings, I can't stop myself from having a bit more fun at their expense. "Homework," I loudly announce over the noise of the retreating children. "Practice all of your first-year spells! You never know when you may have need of them."
As the sweet sounds of groans echoed off the walls, I follow-up with another bit of entertainment. "Oh, and check your bags," I call out as the students begin to walk out of the classroom, "One of the pixies are unaccounted for!"
As a panic rushes through the traumatized kiddos, I can't stop myself from waving good-bye to the horror-stricken children. "Ta-ta," I cheerfully say before casting a powerful Disillusionment Charm and disappearing from sight!
Under a powerful Disillusionment Charm, I watched the second-years file in from behind my desk. The two houses stuck close to their own, the Slytherins taking the left side of the class while the Gryffindors filled in the right side.
Judging by the smirks on Draco Malfoy and his two human shaped trolls, I believe it safe to assume he came out the better in one of his spats with Harry Potter. I'm not a fan of bullying, but I saw this as beneficial to Mr. Potter. If he's to face Voldemort, then the little disputes with Malfoy will help set the ground work for his rebelliousness.
Who knows, I might even contribute a bit more to Mr. Potter myself, past my obviously stellar lessons. The thought of a slightly more competent Boy-Who-Lived going against the Dark Lord will only benefit everyone, and I won't have to step in and finish the Lord Noseless myself.
My attention locked onto a freckle-faced ginger and his messy-haired companion as they angrily stomped into the classroom. Ron Weasley was a round-faced kid with fire-red hair. The assumed Harry Potter had a narrow nose and vibrant green eyes behind his glasses. The boy definitely needed to eat more, there was hardly any baby-fat on his twelve-year-old cheeks.
Without a professor in sight, several of the students leaned into groups and began chatting. I allowed the students their moment of gossiping as I waited for a late arrival to find his seat. With the light-haired Gryffindor situated, it was time to get things started.
Concentrating on the door, I grinned in triumph when it slammed shut. My grin only increased when several girls little out startled screams from the unexpected boom of wood on stone. As the students turned around in their seats to observe where the noise came from, I took the opportunity to stand up.
"Welcome!" I boomed, generating another series of screams. "Tsk. Tsk. So easily startled," I murmured more to myself as I moved around my desk. I made sure to run my hand over the covered cage of pixies to get a small reaction from them. Noting the looks of alarm towards the cage, I put on a charming smile.
"I, Gilderoy Lockhart, adventurer extraordinaire, best-selling author, and now, your beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. It is my responsibility to pass on my vast knowledge and experience, so that you may arm yourselves against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind!" I declare while oozing confidence and charm.
I quickly tone down both as I notice several of the young ladies casting star-struck looks my way. Twelve-year-olds should not be giving that look to anyone, even if it is me, especially if it's me! I banish such thoughts as I refocus on the task at hand.
"Now," I call out in a business-like manner, "Hold up your summer homework." I believe I successfully said that without frowning this time.
As each student began holding up sheets of parchment, I used a bit of wandless magic to gather the bane of my free time and set it on my desk. Another wave sends the second-year review tests hurdling towards the occupied desks. I effortlessly pretend I don't see the fawning looks being cast my way.
"We will be starting with a review test," I say in way of introduction to the papers now resting in front of my students. As hushed grumbles sprung up around the room, I felt the need to speak up. "Now, now. One must know where they are, before setting out on a journey!"
Seeing several students hurriedly jotting down answers, I raise my palm towards the room and watch as everyone stills at my spell. A handy little piece of magic that.
"It would behoove you to take this little review seriously," I warn. "If I feel I must dedicate more time to first-year spells... That will only mean more homework for the lot of you," I finish and grant the frozen students their freedom. "You have fifteen minutes!"
I ignore the excited buzzing of little voices as I retake my seat behind my desk. The pixie cage rattles again as I prop my feet up to get comfortable. I flip over my enchanted hourglass as I delve back into my own reading.
All too soon, my hourglass gives a crisp chirp and I'm forced to put my book down. "Times up! Quills down," I announce as I move around my desk.
Waving both my arms the room was filled with the fluttering of flying parchment. The review tests were soaring off of desks only to be replaced with my paper on Occlumency.
"The sheet of paper I'm passing out now isn't something that we'll be placing a great deal of focus on this year," I say to my students. "However, as your beloved Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I feel that it's my duty that you're informed of how to defend your minds."
"Defend our minds?" A brown-haired Slytherin girl asks.
"Of course," I say as I grace the curious child with a smile. "Occlumency is the art of defending your mind from Legilimency. It allows you to protect your thoughts from others and from creatures such as boggarts and dark-haired dungeons bats!" I finish with a chortle at my own inside joke.
Unexpectedly the hidden pixies use that moment to give their cage a vigorous shake. "Pay no attention to the cage, students," I dismissively wave. "Those vicious beasts are for my next class."
"Professor," a brown-haired Gryffindor called from his seat in the back. "What's in the cage?"
"Well," I draw out for dramatic effect, "I suppose I can allow a small peek, IF, you all are able to keep yourselves from provoking them," I finish as I lay my hand on the leather sheet. I survey the room and make note of the looks of anticipation being cast at the cage.
I really should stick to the lesson plan, but this seems like so much more fun!
"I present to you," I emphasize dramatically, "Cornish Pixies!" I finish as I sweep the cover off with a grand flourish.
Like little electric blue imps, the pixies immediately begin wildly rattling the cage and making rude faces at the closest students. If you used your imagination just a bit, you could make out possible insults in their shrill voices.
As I triumphantly stand before the class, I make note of the many disappointed faces. As if on cue, a catch the sound of a few snorts. Perfect...
"Yes?" I ask an Irish boy in Gryffindor colors.
"They're," Seamus Finnigan started before he chokes back a laugh, "They're not very dangerous, are they?" The Irish boy asked before breaking out in a choked laugh.
"Not very dangerous?" I haltingly ask myself. "Let's find out," I declare before swinging the cage door wide open!
Like blue colored bottle-rockets, the pixies shot out in every direction. Failing to break through the enchanted windows, the little blue blighters turned their attention to the screaming children. It was instant pandemonium! I gleefully laughed as my students dove under their desks as an assault of paper wads, open ink jars, and flying backpacks rained down on them from the flying pixies.
"Atta boy, Mr. Longbottom," I called out as two pixies were picking the shy Gryffindor up into the air. "Take the fight to them!"
"That's using your head, Mr. Weasley," I shouted towards the ginger after a pixie impacted against his face! I continued to stand in front of the room and laugh at the dismay of my adorably horror-struck students.
Fearing one of my students would remember they have magic and steal my thunder, I let my wand drop into my hand. With a grand wave of my wand, all the pixies come to a complete halt. Another wave of my wand and the pixies zoom back into the cage as if pulled in my a vacuum.
As the sheltered kiddies begin to crawl out from their hiding spots, my wand whooshes over the room in another overly grand flourish. A hundred little things begin to right themselves as the wide-eyed children try to take everything in. The ink was pulled off of clothes and desks and funneled back into ink jars, books reassembled themselves, backpacks flew towards their owners, and even Mr. Longbottom was detached from the chandelier and floated back to his seat.
"I guess I forgot to mention that Cornish Pixies are labeled a XXX creature by the Ministry. The very same category as the poisonous doxy, the blood-thirsty red cap, and the mischievous leprechaun," I dutifully inform.
"Of course, XXX states that competent wizards should be able to cope with said beasts," I thoughtfully state. "After this little display of magicless combat, I'll let you make of that what you will."
As I thoroughly ignore the scalding looks being cast my way, I through the leather sheet back over the pixie cage after a quick check to make sure I caught them all. Once satisfied I have them all, I merrily turn back to my audience.
"A few things I need to address," I announce as I pose with a hand on my hip. "I didn't see a single one of you attempt to cast a spell of any sort during that entire debacle. Everyone failed to remain calm and look at the situation objectively," I finished in a remorseful tone.
"But have no fear," I suddenly shout, "I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will rectify your poor performance, and see to it that each and every one of you will possess the skills needed to successfully defend yourselves, much like I have, countless times!"
I can't help but smirk at the distraught looks on several of the less dedicated students. "And Mr. Weasley, your wand is in desperate need of repair. Any spell you attempt will have disastrous results. So, I recommend you visit Mr. Ollivander or the Headmaster to see your wand fixed," I finish just before a bell chime, signally the end of class.
As the class began gathering their belongings, I can't stop myself from having a bit more fun at their expense. "Homework," I loudly announce over the noise of the retreating children. "Practice all of your first-year spells! You never know when you may have need of them."
As the sweet sounds of groans echoed off the walls, I follow-up with another bit of entertainment. "Oh, and check your bags," I call out as the students begin to walk out of the classroom, "One of the pixies are unaccounted for!"
As a panic rushes through the traumatized kiddos, I can't stop myself from waving good-bye to the horror-stricken children. "Ta-ta," I cheerfully say before casting a powerful Disillusionment Charm and disappearing from sight!
- Location
- Planet Earth
is his next class the first years? if so, MC should try to get another card off Voldie/Ginny. Maybe Parseltongue, or his Rituals? not sure if the horcruxes will be limited by the knowledge/experience their creator had when they were made... if so, then parseltongue may be the only good/useful skill to be gained from a 16yo riddles horcrux.
- Location
- Oz
There's a question, due to him migrating piecemeal over into Ginny, seeing as he does describe it as him putting a little bit of himself in her, does the diary potentially count as two sources for cards while he's setting someone up for possession?
