>You open a coffee cafe in Westeros, ASOIAF setting.
Coffee Shopping is for the brave of heart
A shop opened up in a dingy, dirty street of Westeros one late night. It was a shop like any other, if with a bit of an exotic merchandise and a very strange man manning the counter of said shop. People came in, expecting a bar or a pub, and were quickly disillusioned by the bar wench being a young girl, with a clean face and a bright smile. The man at the counter served sweets and pastries of strange origins, and brew nectar and liquids that he called miraculous.
A drink that would make one not sleep, or another that would swiftly lull him to bed. A drink that tasted of cinnamon and mint, and another that held the fragrance of roses and strawberry.
The prices were low for such delicacies, so low that a lot of people began to frequent the place with their children, even though they barely had money to feed themselves with the war and the taxes, yet within that shop, peace reigned by some unspoken rule.
The rule held with but a look at the man's face behind the counter. Dark haired, dark eyed, a smile that held no meaning whatsoever and an empty glass in one hand that he continuously cleaned with his other.
The girl serving at the table was sweet, and always managed to bring a smile to the faces of the people within.
Joffrey entered the shop one day, having heard of such a place and bolstered by his status.
He left broken, his guards mangled to pieces, a sign with the words 'A Bastard's Soul Deserves But A Bastard's Treatment' etched on his skin.
If asked, the people within claimed they had seen nothing, and heard nothing.
Only Joffrey knew, and he closed himself into his rooms, never to step outside until his last dying breath a few days later from a fever that just wouldn't break.
Disheartened, the Queen sent her guards to the place, and yet the guards returned with bags of sweets and no visible trouble -as well as lacking their Guard's captain, Jaime, whom none knew where he had ended up going.
Cersei called for the King to act, such devilish treachery could not stand!
Demons, or devils, or sorcerers had bewitched her son, killed him, and then moved on to her brother! The King's Guard itself lost many members to 'sudden disappearances' to boot!
Yet the coffee shop remained, unscathed.
And then, one day, the King decided to head there in person.
He came back sober.
He came back sober. He came back angry
and sober. He called for all of his bastards. None answered, because none but few lived yet, and yet that angered him even more.
Cersei knew she had to call her father for aid, but found she could not.
No messenger left the walls.
No crow flew past the guard towers.
The noose sunk through her flesh, but not before her children disappeared from their bedrooms one night.
Yet she cursed the name of the shop, even as the fragrant brew of coffee expanded throughout the streets reaching her nostrils, her last smell of this earth before the call of the Stranger came for her.
Littlefinger would investigate.
His men would find nothing, and soon he would start receiving packages of very special sweets that forced him to surrender any and all investigations.
Varys would try to heed the noises of the street.
His people would refuse on a principle older than life itself.
Survival instincts.
In the end, Tyrion Lannister was the only Lannister who left the city alive...because someone had to tell Tywin what had happened -and because, secretly, the only heir of the proud Lannister being a dwarf could only mean dishonor upon the family name, no matter what the man might claim.
"So," the owner of the shop said, "I think we can try to open a venture somewhere else."
"Shade, we need three more milkshakes and two coffee, Jumbo-Size!" Yui said as she dropped a note in front of the counter.
"Right, right, give me a moment," Shade said before turning to the kitchens, "You heard the lady?"
"Loud and clear sir!" someone who was not clearly Jamie Lannister nodded, soon followed by two children who were clearly not Myrcella and Tommen. They all had black hair for starters, and secondly, when the Stranger comes in the middle of the night to offer you a chance at not getting horribly killed, you take that chance and stay the hell quiet about who you really are.
And if the Stranger likes to brew coffee, then you just learn to love the coffee brewing.
"You were saying about opening a new venture?" Yui said.
"I was thinking about the Wall," Shade replied. "You know...I reckon they could use hot chocolate over there."
"Sure, why not. Foster peace relationship with the wildlings by using Hot Chocolate-"
"And don't forget the chocolate chips biscuits," Shade added with a chuckle.
"Right," Yui nodded. "Of course. How could I forget those? And then what?"
"We pour hot tea on the Draugr advancing and we use the ice wall to make slushy."
"Slushy," Yui said very slowly.
"Yeah, I reckon...you know, Ice-Cream Parlors sell ice cream in winter months too."
"Slushy. At the Wall. Do you want to sell sand to the desert people while you're at it?"
"If it's colored sand then yes, why not!?"
Yui just groaned and headed off to gather a new order.
...
Shade merely shrugged and returned to cleaning his glass mug.
Why did he always clean his glass mug?
Because he always filled it with a different brew of coffee, and drank it day after day, minute after minute, second after second.
Being a quasi-immortal writer's construct meant he could drink all the coffee he wanted, and get no poisoning from it.
And so he drank.
And so he was happy.
Happiness is Coffee, after all.