Oh, I missed this earlier. Princess Bride, no doubt.
The Ontario Motorist's Guide to the Kingdom of Tristain
- Thread starter FurikoMaru
- Start date
Enohthree
Hypersane
When's the next Enlightenment update?
S-soon?
Just needs a little more character interaction with people who aren't hot superheroines before someone accuses me of wish fufillment.
Well, more wish fulfillment I suppose.
Furiko Omake Theatre~!
Five Times Louise Survived (And One Time Magda Didn't)
Part I
"I hit someone!" I confessed, too upset to think of anything better to say, and burst into tears. "Let me go! Are they okay?!"
I looked over my shoulder, and gasped.
There on the ground was a tiny form, her legs grotesquely askew, her rose-coloured hair falling over her face like a sheet.
"Oh my god," I breathed.
It's a dream, I told myself, it's just another car-crash dream, in a minute you'll wake up and cry and this will be over.
Heedless, I ran to her.
If it's a dream, I thought frantically, then I can fix this.
I only knew one incantation by heart. It wasn't even an incantation; some fraud hawking their cobbled together mess as a 'genuine Wiccan spellbook' when I was a gullible preteen had just translated a fragment of a poem in Old Norse and passed it off as a healing spell.
But in a dream, all that mattered was the intent.
"And then charmed Odin," I said quickly, rolling her over and pushing her hair out of her face, ignoring the bald man's cries not to touch her, "as well as he knew..."
Mere inches above her broken body, I held my hands, palms down, and spread my arms wide, sweeping out from the centre to encompass her head to foot.
"Bone to bone. Blood to blood."
Prodding at her ribcage like a cat at a screen door, I eventually found her heart, and laid both hands upon it.
"As though they were glued," I concluded.
It wasn't enough. I could feel that it wasn't enough; I was focused now, but the charge hadn't been released – she was coughing up blood even as I spoke. There was something else I had to do.
The name of the spell. What other conclusion could there be?
"RECOVERY!"
Her skin glowed.
And then she rolled over and threw up the rest of her blood all over my jeans.
Aw, poor kid, I thought, automatically holding her hair out of the puke.
"Oh, Founder, what in god's name was that?" she gurgled unhappily. And then she followed up the blood with her breakfast and a bit of stomach acid.
Not a dream, I confirmed in disgust. Dreams are not this soggy and foul-smelling. Still, at least she's stable.
"Good job," I encouraged, patting her on the back, "get it all out."
She looked up at me in confusion, and pulled away when she saw I was a stranger.
"Who are you?" she asked, not a little indignant.
... wait a minute, if this isn't a dream...
My eyes widened.
"... talitha cumi," I whispered, and I stared at my hands in shock.
"W-well what were you doing groping me in my sleep?!" she demanded, blushing hotly.
"Groping?" someone in the crowd called with a laugh. "First you'd have to have something to grope, Zero!"
That snapped me out of it. Did that little fucker just...?
"Hey asshole," I snarled automatically, getting to my feet, "how'd you like me to remove any chance of you evergetting groped, permanently? Show a little respect for the injured!"
The boys in the audience flinched.
Wait...
I turned back, and stared at the girl's very pink hair.
Zero? Zero as in 'Louise the'?
"Hey, control your familiar, Louise! Just 'cause you summoned a commoner, don't think-!"
"'Commoner'?" came a voice with an almost cartoonish Austrian accent, and then a feminine but full-bodied laugh. "My dear Berisson, have you lost the use of your eyes? The lady just employed advanced Water magic right in front of you!" There was a general rumble of assent.
"... but she doesn't have a cloak," Berisson protested weakly.
"Irrelevant," a tiny girl whose face was entirely hidden behind a thick book commented. At least I think that's what she said; the book kind of muffled the sound of her voice.
Thank you, Ladies Ahnuld and Rorschach, I thought in relief, the brief spike of fear at the realization of my situation subsiding.
"A mage...?" Louise asked, a stricken look on her face. She turned to the bald man. "Professor, is it true?"
"Don't worry, Miss Vallière," he said brightly, "this sort of thing has happened before. Ah, Miss?" he addressed me. "I apologize for the inconvenience, but we were just concluding the Springtime Summoning Ritual, and it appears Miss Vallière has summoned your golem. Would it be possible to...?"
"No!" I said without thinking.
Once I realized what he had actually asked, I added in relief, "I'm sorry, I can't, it's my father's. It isn't mine to sell or give away." I turned back to Louise to ask her how she wanted to proceed with this dilemma, intent on folding at the first face-saving opportunity.
Apparently somewhere between the words 'Miss Vallière has summoned your golem' and the word 'No!', she stopped listening, because she was gone when I turned around.
"My name is Louise Françoise Leblanc de la Vallière!" came a determined but quavery voice from the front end of the car. "Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers, bless this humble being, and make it my familiar!"
As I stood speechless, a squiggle with two diacritic marks above and below etched itself into the bumper of the car, right before my very eyes.
That is not the Gandalfr mark. What the hell did I do to her?!
"My father is going to kill me," I murmured in wonderment.
Black Magic Woman Elseworlds presents:
Driving Instructor of Zero
Driving Instructor of Zero
Last edited:
- Location
- France
I kinda wished a Decepticon mark appeared on the car^^
Enohthree
Hypersane
Ahahahahahaha
I put a nickle on it being Herbie now.
...
There was earlier talk about how someone summoned someone else's horse.
Are nobles allowed to just steal what every they summon?
And good for you! Turns out that Wiccan poetry plus the power of imagination allowed you to pull off wandless casting! A feat unheard of in this universe by pretty much everyone.
Now, if only you could get that to work back home.
I put a nickle on it being Herbie now.
...
There was earlier talk about how someone summoned someone else's horse.
Are nobles allowed to just steal what every they summon?
And good for you! Turns out that Wiccan poetry plus the power of imagination allowed you to pull off wandless casting! A feat unheard of in this universe by pretty much everyone.
Now, if only you could get that to work back home.
Jim Starluck
CO, ICS Vanguard
- Location
- Cincinnati, OH
Shame it's a Prius and not a Volkswagen. Then you could've subtitled it "The Love Bug does Tristain".
Finagle007
[Verified Great Old One]
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Or an Autobot mark...
Ridiculously Average Guy
I'm you, but stronger
- Location
-
Wait, she can cast from myth? Shit is about to get weird.
See, that would require her to still have her Voidhaxx.
And she doesn't.
When a Void mage passes beyond what Brimiric magic could cure in Brimir's time, the Void moves on to the next candidate.
In the original idea, she was basically dead, and in a moment of panic and expended wishing and will, Magda managed to bring her back to life.
But she couldn't bring back the Void. She isn't the god alleged to have given Brimir his power, and she isn't Brimir himself - even if she had been fully aware that this was Louise, she wouldn't have been able to trap the power and rebind it to the resurrected Louise. She doesn't have that primal connection to the Void, so she can't bestow it at will.
When Louise wakes up, she's a Fire mage.
Walker of the Yellow Path
Ho There!
- Location
- The Land of Memes
So you just granted her most deepest desire to her by running her over with a car.
Good job.
Good job.
That's the plan!
Sure, she's bummed that she got a golem instead of a dragon or something, but a joyride across the castle grounds with the sunroof down should turn that frown upside down.
Kerrus
Fractal Insanity
Louise summons Armada Starscream? I'd read it.
Hell, so would I, and I never even watched Armada.
Didn't play it.
- Location
- Little Rock, AR
Just watch it. Playing it contributes very little meaning. It cinematastic that way.
So Louise died and became a fire mage? How fast would she make up lost ground? And that would be one of everytype in the family right?
She could have even apprenticed under Colbert working with the car.
More gradually than she'd like, I'd imagine. I mean, isn't one of the theories as to why True Explosion hollowed her out that she had so much stored up willpower/mana that when the time came to 'cast with all her might' she blew her whole dot-wad on one spell that fucked up that section of sky in general? To me that suggests that she'd have to go out and do a lot of grinding to genuinely push her limits.
Still, I'd think with all the years she's spent trying to figure out why her magic won't work normally, she has to have a pretty solid handle on the theory side of things, and she comes from a magically-talented family, so it really depends on her lifestyle's ratio of mortal peril : ability to escape.
And, well, she has a car in a world of horses, so...
That was in the cards for sure, along with a grudgingly improved relationship with Kirche that would have taken a turn for the tragic when Germania declared war on Tristain and Henrietta (through Karin) ordered Louise and Magda to take Kirche hostage.
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
You don't have to like to think that. I'm pretty sure it's canon that she's one of the top scorers on when it comes to the academic side of her schooling, it's just the practical she can't handle.
A car isn't more maneuverable than a horse, it's probably not faster on Tristain's roads, and if it crashes into one it won't necessarily be better off than the horse.
Unless those familiar runes aren't just for show.
Enohthree
Hypersane
Not a primal connection eh? Not at will eeeeehhhhhhh?
On an unrelated note, I think I need to rethink my accent.
Not a regular car at least (and certainly not a Prius
). If it had been an all terrain vehicle it might have been a different matter. Fuel would also be a concern normally but since Colbert is a Spark it won't be for long. 
I'm now getting the images of the car turning into an all-terrain venomoth for some reason.. my mind goes weird places.Not a regular car at least (and certainly not a Prius
Wait, are you saying that the car -drumroll- unfolds into a butterfly? Badum-tisssh.
If you didn't catch that joke you need to archive binge Girl Genius right the fuck now. Seriously, you'll thank me for it someday.
- Pronouns
- she/her
