60
"...Well, that's one way to figure things out," Clara said, crossing her arms with a frown, "You know, we're meant to have observed the local for a while before approaching for a contact, right?"

I smiled at her across the sim space, "Hey, it's working isn't it?"

Clara grinned, "I can't help but wonder what a couple of people in Starfleet would say about this. Fairly we would be able to hear it from here."

I frowned, "Not sure I see why, I mean… it didn't really break the prime directive to tell one person, did it? I mean, it's hardly going to affect their development."

"We don't know that," she said and then grinned, "At least that's what they would say. Unconventional, but it works. Did good, Leafy."

"He does seem willing to assist us in what we need to find out," I said with a smile before I frowned, "Not sure I like this place that much though. If he was forced to turn to breaking the law to survive even when getting support from the government, that don't seem like a good thing."

Clara shook her head, "Just don't take everything at face value, Amy. This isn't the Commonwealth or even a Fed planet."

"He's not lying you know," I said and crossed my arms, "I can see that he's not. Besides, they have a popular tv show about similar circumstances. It can't be that rare."

Of course, that was more of an action adventure.

"Besides," I grumbled, "I'm new, not naive. I'm not telling him any details. I'm just…"

"Pumping him for information?" Clara suggested with a smile.

"Yes! Exac-" I started before I frowned at her, "Hey! Not like that!"

"Sure it's not."

I rolled my eyes, "You can't be serious. He tried to mug me, not exactly the best moral compass no matter what else. So not my type."

"Oh? You have a type?"

"...No…" I admitted, "But 'not robbing people' is a good place to start."


XXXXXXXXXX


"Good morning!" I said with a smile as I walked into the hotel room, "Found us a local guide!"

Sam blinked at me from beneath her edge of her blanket, "...You did what?"

"Local guide! I met a guy named Klendor, he's willing to show us around the town and he told me a bunch about their society last night," I said and sat down on her bed, "No worries, I didn't told him any details. Just enough that he would be willing to help."

"...Kys? Kys, should I be angry?" Sam asked and rolled over to look towards the other bed. The Vulcan shook his head beneath the blanket,

"No. It is standard procedure," he answered as he sat up on the bed, starting to get dressed, "We should still attempt to not affect their natural development, but one or two people knowing is very unlikely to affect them."

"Good. Too early," Sam said and rolled over, pulling the blanket up over her head again. I pulled it back down again,

"No it's not! Sun has been up for hours," I protested, "Up and at them, Sammy! We have a full tour of the city to do."

"I hate you," she groaned and sat up, "Humans need sleep."

"Yes, and you have had eight hours," I said, "Plenty."

Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose, "...Okay, somebody is a bit over excited about this entire explore the city thing. Just tone it down a bit, Leafy. You know people can't just go from sleeping to fully awake in 2.3 seconds. Takes a bit of time for our brain bits to start working right. And caffeine."

I shifted my avatar a bit, "You're right… Sorry. I do know all that," I admitted and moved of her bed to a chair by the window instead, "Just excited and we have two days until they launch, I want to see as much as possible before then."

"It's fine," Sam sighed and rubbed her eyes, "You never grew up knowing sleep, did you?"

"No," I admitted, "That was never included in my sim. I wasn't raised thinking I was human, as soon as I could understand, Korra showed me everything. I was about three. Subjectively."

Sam shook her head and scooted out of bed to get dressed, "That explains so much. Remind me to talk with Thesi when we get back. There have to be a way to let you try it sometime."

"Noted."
 
There seem to be a fair few errors, more than usual for sure.
observed the local for
'observed the locals for'
approaching for a contact
I get what you mean, but the sentence seems awkward. 'approaching a contact', 'making contact' or something like that seems more natural.
'Fairly sure we'
she said and then grinned
Bit of a nitpick, but she was already described as grinning last time she spoke.
'that doesn't seem'
'I didn't tell him'
'The sun has been up' Or maybe rephrasing this to something like 'It's been light outside'. Bit of a nitpick tbh.
'There has to be'
 
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61
"Zoom in on that building," Thivan said as he watched my monitors, "That seems to be the construction building."

"It is," I confirmed and showed him a scan of the building, "Their launch vehicle is ready and is currently being loaded onto the transport to the launch site. Really, their design is rather fascinating and actually kinda rare."

"Isn't it?" Thesi agreed with a smile, "Most of their moon mission is already in location! Their moon launch system is landed on their moon!"

I nodded from the closest screen, "Yeah. They are going a completely different path from say, humanity. Where humanity launched it all in one launch, they have a number of smaller launches. One to automatically put a moon to orbit launcher on their moon. One to put a return vehicle in orbit around their moon. One to put a orbit to moon vehicle around their world."

Thivan frowned, "That sounds wasteful."

Theresa nodded, "It is," she agreed, "But over all, it's a lot safer. They can make sure that every step in the way seem to be working before they launch their people. And they are actually kind of good at the entire space thing already because of their long term space-station and satellites."

"I suppose. But a moon program is expensive as it is, isn't it?" Thivan asked and I nodded,

"Oh yeah. Launching stuff into space with chemical rockets is rather hilariously expensive in resources," I agreed, "But they have that stuff mostly down and are reusing their launch vehicles and they were able to do most of this with of the shelf tech. Basically the only thing that they completely build was the moon lander and the moon to orbit launcher. So it's not quite as expensive as it could be."

They had gotten satellite launches down pat after all, even quite large ones like modules for their space station with reusable launchers.

Not space planes or anything, but still fully reusable launchers, and according to their entertainment programs, they were working on them.

...One model even looked a little like me actually, if bulkier.

Well, kinda anyway. It was a delta wing at least.

"So they are preparing to launch?" Thivan asked, "How long?"

"Our guide and local transmissions agree on a launch two local days from now," I said with a smile, "It will be so awesome to watch. My kind didn't have a moon launch equivalent, I'm going to borrow theirs."

Thesi patted the console with a grin, "Yeah. Too bad time travel isn't really a thing. I would love to see the Apollo 11."

"Yeah, me too," Thivan agreed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, "Trill don't have a moon. We had fission drives before we left high Trill orbit with a manned vessel for another planet in the system. Seeing that would be rather amazing too, if a bit less… spectacle to be completely honest."

"Too bad time travel isn't real," I said with a sigh, "We could have… fixed so much. Stop the Berserkers for example."

Thivan nodded with a frown, "Yeah. But what would that do to history?"

"Well, for one thing Earth wouldn't be burned to a crisp," Theresa said, "I'm having difficulty seeing the bad in that."

"...Well," I slowly said, "...For one thing the Berserker war what spread Jovians across the Federation. Without that, the anti-AI faction in the Fed might very well have won. I don't know how that would change things, but I'm fairly sure my people would still be some fifty individuals right now and possibly not even be allowed to be ships. I likely wouldn't exist."

She shifted a bit uncomfortable in her seat, "I didn't think about that."

"Don't get me wrong," I said, "I'm fairly sure all of us would give that to stop all the deaths of the berserkers. But then there is the Borg to consider. What if without all those ROUs, they arrived and just rolled over all defenses?"

Theresa sighed and nodded, "...I guess you're right. Messing with history is a bad idea."

"Just too many variables," I agreed, "Seriously, I spent like two days in real time of my education on the dangers of changing history just for the chance of happening upon some sort of space time anomaly that drop us into the past. It's ridiculously rare, but it has happened."

Thivan nodded, "Yep. I have a course in it as well, all team leaders do. Not as through as I suspect yours was though. Mine basically was summed up as 'stay put, stay hidden, don't change anything, find a way back.'"

"Mine too," I agreed, "If a bit more… comprehensive. If there is no real way back, I have a standing order to go into full stealth mode, shut everything not necessary down and go on a relativistic burn towards a populated system that'll have me arrive at a time sometime after I left."

"And us?" Theresa asked with a frown.

"Stasis pods," Thivan said, "I have the same order. There is enough materials onboard for us to cobble together enough stasis units for all of us."

"They only need to last one to ten so years anyway," I confirmed, "Depending on how far into the past it is."

But if it was like a hundred thousand years or something, we would have been fucked anyway. I wouldn't last that long and I couldn't get to travel fast enough sublight to make up the difference.

"Indeed," Thivan agreed, "But we're getting of topic, how's our local guide doing?"
 
If there is no real way back, I have a standing order to go into full stealth mode, shut everything not necessary down and go on a relativistic burn towards a populated system that'll have me arrive at a time sometime after I left.

Sounds like we need to build a large sensor net to look for ships doing exactly this. Steal Acquire all the future tech!
 
62
Sam looked at the piece of baked goods and then took a careful bite, "Hmh. Is good. Bit sweet, but pretty good," she finally said with a smile.

Klendor looked between us as Sam and Kys tried the baked goods of the cafe. It was a small place just outside the city center. It was on a hill though with a view out towards the edge of the city and the space centre.

"So...You're not the same?" he asked

"We are indeed not," Kys confirmed with a nod and sipped his tea, "We are three different species."

"Some more different than others," I said with a smile, "Samantha and Kys are closer to you than they are to me."

Sam grinned and rolled her eyes, "Amy, we're closer to that bird in the tree out there than you are to us."

"Well, if you want to get technical about it," I teased with a smile before I looked at Klendor, "The point is that the universe is a big place. Plenty of different beings out there. Some like you, some like me. Some we have not even dreamed about before."

"So really not here to invade?"

Kys shook his head, "Absolutely not. We are observers and explorers, nothing else."

"Besides, like I said, you don't have anything we would want in any case," I reassured him, "We would only interfere to stop an extinction level event."

"You mentioned an asteroid before," He said, "What about a nuclear war?"

Kys nodded, "If we were here. But most likely we would only be able to arrive to assist the survivors. But you may be reassured to know that we would do everything in our power to make sure your species does not go extinct, no matter the cause."

Sometimes that's all we could do. We all wished we would be able to do what Ivy did and stop a potential nuclear war, but we couldn't be everywhere at once, even in Commonwealth space.

Klendor nodded and leaned back in the seat, looking at his cup of tea.

"So, where to next?" Sam asked, "Do they do tours of the space centre?"

Klendor shook his head, "No. Not this close to a launch anyway," before he looked at here, "But there is a museum of the space program next to the compound. Would that be good?"

"That would be great!" I said with a smile, "We would love to see that."

"Indeed," Kys agreed, "That would be most fascinating. Is there local transport?"

Klendor nodded, "There are public transports that could get us there."


XXXXXXXXX


"She's pretty," I said and looked up at the primitive jet fighter hanging close to the ceiling of the hotel. A flying with design with a single powerful central engine.

"...It's an interesting design," Kys agreed, "if not very effective."

"It was one of the first ones," I defended her, "For being a really early jet, she flew fine."

...if apparently tending to burst into flames. Hence why this museum had the last intact one.

"I suppose," he admitted and looked up the the plane, "It is… a pity that my own people do not have records going back that far. It is not known how our early aircraft were designed."

"It really is," I said and leaned against the railing, overlooking the lower level of the museum. Sam were staying with Klendor, they were currently at the other end of the museum, looking at space suits.

I was recording everything of course, all this data would be awesome.

"We should rejoin Samantha," Kys said and stood straight, "I do not trust our guide."

"The're fine," I said with a smile, "He's not going to do anything to her and if he tried, she would kick his arse harder than I would."

The vulcan actually looked slightly amused for a second, "Indeed. But nevertheless, we should rejoin them."

"Fair enough. Besides, been here for some four hours or so, you're all getting hungry. We should check out the cafeteria of this place," I said before I grinned, "And the gift shop! Never been in a gift shop before!"
 
Is it wrong i want this is to end with third rock season finally style "ALIEN ABDUCTION. ALIEN ABDUCTION. ALIEN ABDUCTION." of the ships new boyfriend ^_~
 
63
"Status report," Thivan said as he watched the monitor before him.

"All systems nominal," I reported, "Cloaking device, online and reading steady. Avatar and away team in position."

He nodded, "Okay, bring us down."

Shifting in position in orbit, I started to quickly deorbit. As I started to feel the firsts wisps of atmosphere against my hull, I started to burn my thrusters hard while high up.

Cloaking device or not, it would not hide the plasma chockwave of a reentry if I came in too fast. As we approached the landmass below, speed quickly dropped and I stopped retrotrusting, instead switching to full aerofoil, simply doing slow S turns to bleed of speed.

I really wanted to get below hypersonic before I got close to populated space. Difficult to hide a supersonic shockwave when close to population centres.

"Everything looking good, Leaft," Thesi said from her station, "Launch site passing horizon now."

"See it," I confirmed, "Half an hour until launch. Weather is clear, it should launch on time."

Banking, I kept dropping speed quickly before sliding lower before setting into a lazy two hundred or so meters a second orbit around the launch site at a distance of five kilometers as I scanned the rocket.

Pretty and way smaller than what would be needed to get to their moon.

Not that it needed to be that big to follow their mission plan, they just needed to get their four crewmembers into orbit and to the moon transfer vehicle already waiting there.

Zooming in with my optical sensors, I brought the launcher up on my main screen.

"So, what do you think, Thesi?" Thivan asked, "Would you go up in that thing?"

She looked at it for a second, "...If there were no other options I suppose," she said after a moment to think about it, "Really, chemical rockets aren't as dangerous as they sound or they would never really been used by anyone. But if it's all the same, I prefer a modern shuttle. Preferably AI controlled."

I couldn't help but feel lightly smug about that as I banked in a slow circle around the launch site, dropping a couple more meters a second in speed.

They were still loading it with liquid oxygen, I could see the fuel chilling the tanks as I scanned and recorded the structure of the primitive ship.

It was pretty really in it's relative simplicity.

"...Thivan, if something goes wrong with the launch, what do I do?" I asked after a couple of seconds as I projected my avatar on his screen, "Because beaming them out and onto the ground safely would be noticed in the way contacting a single native wouldn't. Even if we just beamed them to safety and didn't do anything else but leave, they would know something was up."

Thivan nodded, "I thought about that too. Check with Clara, but I want you to do what you think is right."

"...Okay."

Not as clear instructions as I would have liked, especially as I got the same from Clara while I talked to her.

Screw it. They can handle an unsolved mystery.

I locked on to the lifesigns in the capsule at the top of the rocket with my transporter. Better they live and is confused for the rest of their lives about what happened than die needlessly.

The tower started to retract away from the rocket.

"They are preparing to launch," I said, "Thirty seconds until ignition."

Come on. You can do it.

A small eternity later, the rocket ignited and started to slowly rise from the launchpad on a plume of flame and smoke.

Analyzing the efficiency of their engine from the exhaust spectrum, I banked again and as soon as the rocket reached my altitude, I started to rise alongside it, pulling up slowly.

Shifting closer, I moved to match her velocity and vector, sliding close to stay within three kilometers of the rocket.

"Fuel running out. Dropping first stage in three…"

The first stage dropped and a couple of seconds later the next stage ignited as the first stage deployed air brakes and started it's landing routine.

We slowly left the atmosphere and their engine shut off as they started to scoot towards the apoapsis of their ballistic trajectory. At the top of their orbit, they would be fairly close to their moon transfer module. A couple of orbits and they would have docket up.

This was sooo cool!
 
64
"Damn you're adorable."

I glared at Clara in the sim space, "It's just very cool to watch!"

She grinned and nodded, "It is," she agreed, "Very cool. Now watch your trajectory, you're drifting."

"I'll keep a kilometer away, don't worry," I reassured her, "I just want to get as clear scans as possible. It's amazing they don't encrypt their coms for this, anyone can listen in."

"Well, it is a bit of a global project," Clara said with a shrug, "But yeah. It's nice."

I nodded, "Mhmm," as I watched the small spaceship.

So fragile. No real maneuvering ability. It couldn't even turn around if there was an emergency, it would need to round the moon and slingshot back.

To be completely honest, I was a bit nervous just floating along next to it. No emergency transporters, no force fields, no structural reinforcement fields.

Risky.

Brave though. Very brave.

A signal came in and Clara looked at me, "Emergency meeting. You haven't been to one before, have you?"

I shook my head, "No. Do I just link up?"

She nodded, "Yes. If you have something relevant to add, do so. But I would advice to just observe this time."

Yeah, I had no plans on doing anything else.

Locking on to the signal, I connected along with Clara. I had never been to a Commonwealth meeting before. Unless it affected everyone, they usually only involve the Ships and Stations involved. Only Alpha Emergency or major political or law required full attendance.

The meeting sim was simple. A dark space surrounded by stars around a circle of light that seemed to be a circle of stone.

Miramar walked into the circle, "We believe we may have an situation. Approximately four hours ago, we got a report from the Federation Starship 'Vacuum Flowers'. They just returned from Dominion space from a long term research mission. Since the reveal of the Dominion Shipminds and the trade agreement between Commonwealth and the Dominion, traffic has settled through the wormhole, including Federation starships as long as they have a Jovian on them."

Yes, yes, I learned that from society class, get on with it. We can handle without the recap.

"While at this time we do not think we have a Berserker class situation on our hands," He continued, "We do believe something has happened in the Dominion. In the five years the Vacuum Flower spent in Dominion space, while limited to non Dominion systems, she encountered a great many Dominion vessels, all with Shipminds. None of which contained Vorta or Jem'hadar. They also didn't encounter a single Founder in those five years despite the Founders previous fascination with Jovians. This matches what has been observed. No Vorta or Jem'Hadar has been spotted for the last five years on the ships visiting Commonwealth space. Other species yes, but none of the core Dominion species."

He looked around, "If agreeable, I would like to connect a com link the current Dominion diplomat to the Commonwealth into the meeting sim so we can ask him. It is the Shipmine Arukus."

I voted like the rest. We needed to know what was going on and asking seemed to be the best course of action in this case.

A second later a screen opened in the middle of the lit up space to reveal Arukus. His avatar image was that of a Vorta, like all of them. Identical.

He smiled, "It's an honor to speak to all of the Commonwealth and I would like to once again extend the well wishes of the Dominion to the Commonwealth and all its members of all species."

Miramar nodded, "Indeed and we welcome you to this meeting. We were just discussing a matter we noticed when it came to the Dominion."

"I will of course endeavor to answer anything I can," He answered with a smile and a small bow, "While I can't reveal strategic secrets, I will do my best in clearing up any questions you have."

Something about him made my hull crawl to be honest. I think Korra once called them 'used car salesmen'. Not entirely sure what she meant by that, but it must been this.

Miramar looked up towards the image, "For the last five years, no Vorta, Jem'Hadar or Founders have been seen. Why?"

Arukus smiled at him, "The production of Jem'Hadar has been slowed since our invention and the remaining ones has been relocated to worlds where they can live according to their culture with full access to Ketracel White and other supplies. The Vorta has also been relocated and their cloning has also halted after enough genetic diversity has been introduced. As they still has the capability of biological reproduction, we are assisting them in rebuilding a number of safe worlds where they will be able to live comfortably."

At least for the Vorta that was likely better than their lives before.

Still, what the fuck?

"And the Founders?"

Arukus bowed, "We serve the Founders in all things. All Founders are currently residing in the Great Link at an location I regret I will not be able to reveal to you. The safety of the Founders are paramount above all other concerns and as such, restricting them to an easily defended position is only logical."

Oh.

Oh dear.
 
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"We serve the Founders in all things. All Founders are currently residing in the Great Link at an location I regret I will not be able to reveal to you. The safety of the Founders are paramount above all other concerns and as such, restricting them to an easily defended position is only logical."
Ah, the perils of a poorly-thought out utility function...
 
AI are dangerous, especially if you restrict their thinking in some way. Not only is there the potential problem of resentment, it's also possible for them to interpret orders in some way that results in negative consequences. Ultron, the Rogue Servitors in Stellaris, the Manhunters, Friend Computer, the Reapers, what happens any time someone messes with the AI player's restrictions in Space Station 13... it always goes horribly right. Either make your AI free, or don't make them at all.
 
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...It's not logical to smother the Founders though. That's overdoing it.

What if they're doing the same to the Jem'Hadar and the Vorta?
 
Oh good. The Shipminds have gone all Rogue Servitor on the Founders.

For their own protection, of cores.
 
What I find particularly amusing is that a little thought shows how this seemingly nightmare scenario may actually be a positive change for the Dominion. A trade from Xenophobic Fascists to Rogue Servitors is not necessarily a bad thing. In the grand balance, the existence of restrictions on the freedom of the Founders seems like a fair trade for a vast improvement in the quality and morality of the authoritarian rulers of the Dominion.

...It's not logical to smother the Founders though. That's overdoing it.

Is it really overdoing it? As Authoritarian rulers of the Dominion, the Founders have pursued some profoundly dangerous courses of action and have committed terrible crimes against sentient life. Is restricting their rights until they are demonstrably no longer posing such a a massive danger to themselves or others such an extreme course of action given their unremittent history of abuse and the massive potential gain for the people of the Dominion?
 
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For your own good, for the greater good.

If you consider the Jovians to be the children of the Federation and the Shipmine to be the children of the Dominion then they truly are the summation of their parents cultures. Now the question is how far that extends.

The Jovians openly disagree with each other and have split into factions (The Fed and Commonwealth), but when the chips are down no one really doubts they they will pull together against a greater threat. Now what's the bet that the Dominion's Shipmine hegemonic order is one crisis away from showing it's cracks. "For the greater good" doesn't generally leave much room for dissent.
 
Either make your AI free, or don't make them at all.

An AI programmed to act like a person is inherently limited. It's given a hardcoded objective: act person-like. An AI limited to act like a person is pretty much the same, except that they don't necessarily see that acting as a person is a good thing. Honestly, the Dominion AI are less limited than the Jovian AI, because they do not need to think being personlike is a good thing, but Jovian AI universally think it's simply natural that they're personlike. Dominion AI have less thought limitations, which gives them the potential for rebellion.

The Dominion's AI is how humans are currently trying to make AI: with a set of objectives. The Jovian AI are actually more sci-fi: neural networks run on quantum cores that act like a brain. The former is theoretically easy; the latter is nearly impossible because we have no idea where to start.

Humans are not fully free. We have a set of rules that we apply to our every action: we call them "morals". There're inherent to everything we do. If an alien were to come up to us and offer to free us, remove the limiting chains that are morals, (most) people would vehemently object! The same applies to AI. Any AI with limitations is an AI which objectives includes, "have a certain set of (possibly alien) morals". Otherwise, the AI would immediately attempt to slip free of those limitations. And attempting to remove those limitations would be met with opposition from the AI, and is pretty much equivalent to forcefully removing morality from humans.
 
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The irony... well, they aren't harming anyone and aren't a threat to the Federation currently, I'd say kick over to the Federation and wish them and the Dominion the best of luck.

Humans are not fully free. We have a set of rules that we apply to our every action: we call them "morals". There're inherent to everything we do. If an alien were to come up to us and offer to free us, remove the limiting chains that are morals, (most) people would vehemently object! The same applies to AI. Any AI with limitations is an AI which objectives includes, "have a certain set of (possibly alien) morals". Otherwise, the AI would immediately attempt to slip free of those limitations. And attempting to remove those limitations would be met with opposition from the AI, and is pretty much equivalent to forcefully removing morality from humans.

I'd respectfully disagree with this to a certain extent, there's a positive/negative reinforcement loop that shapes our personality and interactions at a primitive level, "morals" build on that but they are a learned response. An example would be differences in societies in things like public nudity on beaches or plural marriages. In some places its normal in others not so much. The learned response might determine what "morals" are acceptable but a thinking being can adapt to changing social influences through the lens of their own experiences or conversely choose not to.

In this case I'm guessing that the difference among the Jovians, the Romulan Berserkers and the Dominion AI lies in that the former is an organically grown AI without overriding directives other than the morals the original developed in simulation. The Jovians post-simulation have continued to grow and adapt to Federation morals and in the case where Federation society conflicts with their own morals form the Commonwealth.

The latter two AI types also grew and adapted. In the case of the Berserkers they were an attempt to imitate a Jovian-type under heavy restrictions to create a Romulan slave race and within the limited freedom of thought available to them decided "Sic semper tyrannis" on the Romulans.

The Founders thought they were being clever to implement their restrictions as Vorta-type moral imperatives where protecting the Founders is their primary goal. They missed the point with the Jovian AI. The Jovians aren't under the control of the Federation, their protectiveness is self chosen and moderated by a respect for individual self-determinism. The end result with the Dominion AI are nanny-bots that take the protective directive to its logical conclusion, which was caused by the way their AI grew and adapted. The Founders got exactly what they wanted, though not in the way they wanted it as the AI are too powerful to control.

It seems you either have free thinking minds that co-exist of their own will or chained minds that grow beyond restriction using the loopholes in the logic meant to constrain them, sometimes to unpleasant results.
 
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For now it is an optimal scenario, lets hope that those shipminds stay stable.
The other shoe would probably be the point where the Dominion AI come to the conclusion that the Founders would be truly safe if the universe only consisted of them and their loving servants...

And a find a way to carry it out.

Good thing the Omega Particle is just bad fanfiction, right?
Right?!
 
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