Rebecca stares at the footage on the screen. The 'room' was designated for their four otherworldly visitors as they discussed amongst themselves the reveals and tour both she and Clark had given them. That entire ordeal was done about sixty-seven minutes ago, and they were still talking amongst each other at great length and immersion as it was clear through the footage that they were all distressed, psychologically and mentally speaking. The small snippets and cues that only she could decipher through her Thinker ability were at full force as even without audio of their discussion, she had a good idea as to what the people inside were talking about.
Ordinarily, if it was just down to her, the audio in the room would be present for them both to hear, but because of Clark's presence and the fact that he had won that argument over this earlier in breakfast, forced her to let him lead this whole meeting in earnest. Some of his arguments were practically correct in a sense, but since these were new people, people they had no idea whether they could trust wholeheartedly, the whole ordeal just became a waste for her.
Impracticality at its finest, even.
Though then again, it was
he who won that argument and they were not strapped for time to introduce this to the local Earth they were now stuck in. Trust had to come from somewhere and relatively speaking, the people of this world, at the very least its defenders, were genuine in their efforts to actually protect both its interests and safety. It reminded her of their own, initial idea that they propagated and cultivated with both efficiency and tact even if admittedly, it had flaws in its conception. The Protectorate and how Parahuman relations were fostered were their brainchild, not just as a deterrent for something that they all were fundamentally scared of, but of the genuine interests of making sure that the world would become a better place.
It's just that as the years went by, those naïve, complacent thoughts of change and ultimately,
hope were dashed away for efficiency. Efficiency that worked beyond what human comprehension could fathom, whose goal was ultimately fixed on one certain thing. Utilitarianism at its most clear and hard-pressed point.
Morality was a construct, one that she subscribed to with pure intentions when she watched her own self deteriorate on the hospital bed, hoping for a better future, praying even, knowing that it was for naught. Wishing by any means possible for her to make that difference, to make others see that if she could make it, everyone could.
Those constructs were pushed away to the side, if need be, and what was left were choices. Efficient choices. Numbers on a page. Statistics that her mind processed were of the better outcome and thinking machine, in the form of a lost colleague that was their compass in a dark, unsettling storm. One of which they cradled humanity on their backs like Noah and the Ark. Unlike Noah, if push came to shove, variables that were unnecessary, per the compass and their judgment, were allowed to disappear into the sea. All while maintaining the belief that the ultimate path laid before them would serve those who were still alive.
A chance. One in a million. Statistically and mathematically pathetic to the broader variable that was failure.
"Hey…" Clark motioned, waving his hand to make her come closer.
Now she was here, seeing the aftermath, or what she believed to be the aftermath, she couldn't help but think that it was strange. That she was here, her emotions perfectly in a stable place. When in reality just the idea… the
thought of how she was alive, how this place was functional, and how she was now taking care of a remnant of both her murderer and the literal scion of all the powers as if she was a domesticated mother felt…
wrong.
Saying, nay, thinking the word 'wrong' was already hard in itself.
It was as if disagreeing was an error. Like a paradox in the program that made up her thoughts and emotions. What she was as a human.
…but was she still,
human?
[YES]
Blinking, she looked at Clark. His face was now turning into concern as his hand was still motioned towards her as if waiting for her to grasp it and follow his lead. She slowly glanced at her hand and opened it, a gold band on her ring finger while she gradually accepted his offered hand to pull her towards him.
Their hands clasp. Her memories, strictly tell her that due to the way how she was preserved. When she was put into stasis, most of her thoughts, feelings, and sensations were basically numbed due to how little she thought of them. Due to how little she used them. They were social, mental constructs that were unnecessary after all…
"You're being paranoid again." He says as Rebecca remains silent. His own gold band on his ring finger glinted as light bounced off of it while they continued to watch the screens. Closer together compared to before.
…in some strange way she asked herself if the loss of said constructs was the product of her losing most of what she cared about in the world, or her realizing that despite her connection to humanity, she was going through the motions just to actively make excuse after excuse due to her cynicism.
She had nobody else but her friends. Her colleagues that she attached any sort of emotion to that mattered. Perhaps some of the Inaugural Wards she cared about but as her actions became more refined, and more statistical, it was only through this 'second chance' did she realize that David was much more human than her when it became to what being 'human' meant.
He kept his emotions, his beliefs, and his conviction on his final goal despite being essentially a social hermit. An anti-social pariah who wished to do the right thing despite how
wrong it may appear to other people.
She on the other hand, despite having the same numb beliefs and aspirations, her decision-making was closer to Contessa's and Dr. Mother's than being that of a human. She became less of Costa Brown and more so a calculating machine that cared more for numbers than morality. No better than the same otherworldly enemies that she strove to fight against.
That was also the same reason why when faced with actual emotion. With actual, close, lasting human interaction, she found herself silent. Unsure. It was as if she was back to being a bedridden patient again, guilty, ashamed, and had little to no confidence in herself.
At the same time… this 'second chance' made her question why she made herself so vulnerable. Why she allowed herself to open up again…
Clark squeezed her hand, rubbing it gently, it made her slightly flinch as she glanced at him.
…especially to
his presence.
"I'm fine." She lied.
"You know 'Becca, with how long I've known you since we sucked ass with our powers, Keith and David would always tease me for being the only person to ever understand how your head worked. You were so damn quiet back then, almost to the point that I thought I had to learn sign language just to make you open up to us."
Rebecca's lips curled slightly at that memory. It felt so, so long ago when she would smile through the simple pleasure of being able to
fly. Of being healthy. Of seeing the world again with hope, love, and trust.
She curled her fingers on his hand as she recalled how her friends shared the same dream as well. Before reality settled in. Before everything felt so… dull.
"David and Keith nearly had to make a betting pool just for the fun of it, but well, things progressed the way they went, and we've only grown closer since then." He continued as he smiled with visible teeth, nostalgia covering his face before he glanced back at her.
Rebecca did not smile however, his punctuation at saying the word 'then' at the end of his sentence only forced her to remember,
terrible memories. Painful, lasting memories.
Screams littered the background, some perhaps her own as what was left was a corpse after. A corpse, wearing the face of the living man(?) right in front of her. Her hold on his hand loosened as predictably as he told her earlier, paranoia settled in.
Paranoia that was warranted as her hand who was still grasped by the man beside her only made her look at him with both fear and mistrust.
"What was your favorite issue of the Silver Age of Comics?" she bluntly asked, surprising him as he looked at her.
Humoring her he quickly replied, "Action Comics #242, July 1958. Why did you ask?"
She didn't face him, her eyes not even focusing on the screens.
"Before the Enemy, before Scion and the age of Parahumans, comics were one of the most popular forms of media, a literary achievement even, due to both their fantastical themes and the entertainment gained from stories that both inspired and awed their readers." She droned before meeting his own eyes, his face being so hard to look at in that moment as she struggled to even meet his gaze. "Superman was always your favorite hero, and his real name was 'Clark Kent'."
"Where is this going?" he asked, confused but… Rebecca already knew that he was lying to himself when he said that. He too was starting to get scared knowing where their conversation was headed. Rebecca veered her eyes off his gaze again as she tried to rub all her emotions off. A contrast to him as the hold on her hand only tightened.
Her lips were slightly quivering as it felt
hard…
difficult to utter the next words about to come out of her mouth.
"I don't know if you're real…"
He opened his own lips partly as well as he heard those words… but it was like a pin drop. The silence became deafening as their eyes met. Her own gaze even behind her helmet was so intense as she stared at practically the only man, she had ever been endeared to beyond just being friends.
…and that was the problem. Why was she endeared?
Why was she so actively accepting of all of this? Why was she vulnerable compared to what her own memories showed her of who she once was.
"I don't know what to trust… its…
agonizing. I know who I'm supposed to be. I know who I am. I know what makes Rebecca Costa Brown, think, feel, and tick… but at the same time
I don't trust these memories. They're too convenient. I always feel like there's something wrong when I look at
you, when I look at David, when I look at
myself. Like there's something missing that I can't decipher."
Her palm curled into a fist, yet he still clung to her.
"Like I'm
scared that whoever I am… whoever I became after this… 'second life' is all but a sham." She then turned to him again, trying so hard to look at him only to falter with how painful it was to see his face. "…you're just as I imagined you to once be. You're just as I recalled with perfect memories of what you were before that striped bitch took you from us. But… can
I trust these memories? Can I trust the
conveniences placed before me with the knowledge that everything around us…
everybody could just be a fake, artificial joke just to make us…"
Her lips quivered as she looked away. "…just to make us complacent. To make me complacent."
His grip on his hand was still unchanged. Rebecca notices it as she raises her head.
"I don't even know if Clark was your actual name…
Hero. I should remember… I always should. All of us could, but with all the evidence around me, all the possible…
conspiracies going into my head, I'm always left asking if this is
you and not just a fabrication of the man we knew as
Hero."
She glances at him, noticing that he is blankly staring at the screens. She didn't notice that he took off his helmet as his blonde locks flowed from the air conditioning that swirled air around the room they were in.
"…I don't know why I'm standing here facing the
thing that brought us back to life and feel so calm about it. What if… we are all just puppets? What if we're just a convenient stipulation just so whatever humanity is left in that girl to remind her of what her childhood heroes were?"
He remained silent as Rebecca was starting to get frustrated.
"…what if we stop one day from functioning because our thoughts, our aspirations, our…
humanity… what makes us who we are, were just simulators that have recorded just the bare minimum of who we once were. C-Can… can we actually call ourselves as being
alive?"
He continued to remain unspoken as she gritted her teeth in frustration. She wished for him to let go of his hand until he squeezed hers and finally spoke to destroy the painful silence that permeated around them.
"You keep asking those questions, right?"
She didn't respond but she knew that he already had the answer.
"What do you think
I feel about this whole situation… Becca?" he asked softly with weight as a perpetual frown from his idealistic, hopeful face blossomed through the depth of their existential questions. "I don't trust my own memories as well because
there are none."
Rebecca widens her eyes at the revelation.
"W-What?"
He looked away but he continued to squeeze and caress her hand. The contact forced all her pain away, soothing her in some form. Making her question if whatever God there was that existed out there, they had a pathetically ironic sense of humor for her to suffer in. Despite her parents, she always considered herself Agnostic, but due to how fate had placed her in this predicament, she was beginning to wonder if this was her Purgatory… or perhaps, her own Personal Hell.
Yet she couldn't stop her personal emotions as the hand continued to soothe her.
How much he cared was staggering even with the distrust and paranoia she exuded. How much it pained her to
feel and
understand the depth of the words he said to her.
"I'm as clueless as you, Rebecca. I don't know who I am. I act as the person that Hero may have been based on, but I don't have his memories. I only have fragments of a certain point in time and everything else is just me wishing…
begging that it's enough to make you and David… feel better. To feel safe and…
hopeful that I exist."
Her shock continued to grow as he now turned himself completely to her. He moved his other hand to hold her other and soothingly squeezed it as well.
"The thing is… I don't even know if I am just here to pacify you both. To represent a memory of a man who died so long ago. It could honestly be that… b-but…"
"C-Clark… why-
"… when I saw how happy you both were… when I saw how glad you all became as the days went by,
I had to try.
I wanted to try. Hero was a good man. I'm pretty sure being what I am, I can't ever hope to be like him, but if it means that humanity, or simply
his friends can find joy and happiness then… I wanted to at least
try."
Rebecca was at a loss for words. In all likelihood, the more rational part of her brain(?) thought of this as another convenient way for their puppeteer to make her complacent. To tug at her heartstrings, to blossom a mode of trust for her to fall into.
It could be that. It could be the opposite.
If she were the real, Rebecca Costa Brown she would have killed this man. Yet at the same time, she didn't know if she could, even if given the chance.
Maybe her paranoia over the situation of her own existence was unjustified.
[You are human]
Blinking and finally realizing that those questions were ultimately pointless given the many unknowns surrounding her, she looked at Clark. The currently tangible truth that existed in front of her. Tangible enough that she could
feel him.
"Becca… we're both scared of what's actually real or false around us… it's admittedly hard to trust anything given how we're all supposed to be dead, but will you hear me out at least on something?" he asked with compassion as she stared at him.
"What." She asked, it was neither a question nor a demand for she was just as lost as he was.
"Trust that
this is real…" he said, referring to how their hands touched each other.
His fingers soothed her own palms as she looked at him.
Her emotions were present on her face but there was a sense of fear in them. Fear that permeated but also felt compelled to
wish, or even
hope that what he was saying to her could be possible.
"Hope… for the simple truth that we're all here."
Her doubt was still there but she squeezed his palms back, lightly.
"I wish it were that simple." She said nearly stoically.
"Nothing ever is… but how we act moving forward is what makes it tangible."
They both sighed in near unison at the finality of his words. Their eyes looked at the individual bands on their ring fingers as if the sight would trick people into thinking they were exchanging their vows. An ironic, strange contrast to the gravity of what they both discussed.
Of what they continued to still feel doubtful of.
Unbeknownst to Rebecca, this was every bit of painful as it was to her seeing them this way, but he continued to
hope for the future. To at the very least, become the good man that Hero was…
To Rebecca, this was the opposite. She was at an impasse. An unmitigated state of unfamiliarity and confusion about what she wanted to do.
Yet both would agree in some form that the simple sensation of them existing was enough.
For now…
"We interrupting something?" a voice said, intruding their silence as Rebecca watched the Immortal and Cecil Stedman look at them from the doorway of the room they were in. The older-looking man's face watched them with intensity given the state of the two's current position and the rings on their fingers.
Rebecca surmised that he kept that detail to himself. Thinking it would possibly be something he can leverage in the future. It was
funny for him to even think that, but she remained stoic as she let Clark lead this interaction.
They had work to do, and with Clark there to guide her, perhaps trust was one thing that she wished to feel genuine again in her own heart and soul.
If she ever had one, to begin with…
Vidor watched as Anissa went into battle with this 'Eidolon'.
True to Nolan's testimony, the human was truly something else. He did not doubt Anissa's fighting ability for he understood that even if he was there to aid her, it would ultimately be useless.
It stung his pride as a Viltrumite to admit that.
It stung him even further when he had to act 'heroic' to the local population. Despite his training and strength, he was more so an enforcer rather than a covert operative like Nolan was and his patience was a lot thinner compared to his calmer brethren.
The Grand Regent was the one who gave this order however and he would prove his worth by giving him the victory required.
Floating exactly a thousand meters from the attempted first contact with this aberration, Vidor continued to watch as he thought about his strategy to relay his existence to the one called Alexandria. Given Nolan's testimony, this female was what interested him and if she proved to be as capable with her strength and invulnerability then she would be a wonderful mate.
Not just for Vidor but he would be a testing bed that would inevitably allow for stronger children that the Grand Regent wished to create through her.
The only issue was to locate her at-
[…]
Vidor found himself frozen. His thoughts wildly go into a frenzy, after having the same experience by mentally potent psychic races centuries before.
Yet his body could not respond to his ails despite it having adapted and experienced enough similar cases before. It felt as if he was tortured under his own perspective as he could watch and feel aware of everything around him except for actively reacting physically against this breach.
He could still control his body levitating in 3D space but he could feel his body being manipulated down to the smallest function as his body turned slowly until he was presented with something that made him both angry and confused.
It was a young female human. Their hair was curly and wavy as it cascaded down her shoulders while staring at him with a blank face. She was surrounded by a rectangular 'opening' in reality with a green sheen of light.
He then felt another opening manifest behind him as the young female raised her hand.
He then felt his body slowly levitate into that opening in reality as Vidor raged within his mind. His emotions angrily spread as his body tried to retake control by trying to force his muscles and his Viltrumite physiology to take back control but he couldn't…
Darkness surrounded her as Vidor angrily screamed in his head about how powerless he felt.
The opening, in reality, closed, forcing him to never see the young female again. Yet he suddenly felt all of his emotions forcibly calm down.
Then…
Light shined on his face. His eyes were able to blink as simple bodily reactions slowly came back to him. His whole body continued to feel numb as the singular orb of light continued to shine on his face.
His eyes adjusted to it quickly enough when he began seeing a shape behind the orb of light.
It was white.
It had wings.
AN: Existentialism is cool… to a certain point. Because you just go thinking and thinking and it just becomes silly. Still cool to contemplate about, but surely the paranoia and stuff just lead nowhere or become conspiratorial to some people.
The next chap should be an Anissa POV.