The Doormat Villainess - Adrianne (Otome Villainess)

Also I love how detached Adrianne was from Kuro, not to mention how Adrianne did not behave as she is 'in' the game, despite the implausible elements of it (the blooming Sakura for example). A lot of otome reincarnation stories had the heroine or villainess treated the original game like an immutable Holy Book of destiny that requires tons of effort to change.

Not Adrianne though, this is her reality and neither Kuro nor the otome game really act as anything but a guide.
It's half and half really, to some degree Adrianne thought of the game as some sort of future biography, in that while the event as depicted happened, the nuances and narrative maybe different.

Kuro's memories was treated as something more concrete but no more important to Adrianne than her actual memories of the past.

One of the least believable (and borderline cheating) element in the many reincarnation stories are the protagonist having superhuman level of eidetic memory and hyperthymesia. But without the side effect. Having Kuro's memories actually DOES take a toll on Adrianne, in comparison, and it wasn't even a perfect recollection.
At least she isn't carrying a toy snake around...
I don't understand this reference :V
 
I don't understand this reference
Assuming you've heard of Hamefura, the reincarnated villainess with memories of someone from Japan believes that she has a bunch of doom flags with no eay out, cue all the cast trying to romance a person who genuinely believes they are forever stuck as villainess.
Anyway she is so paranoid thar her fiancee is going to kill her for the heroin that she carries a toy snake that she's practiced yeeting into people's faces and then run away.
 
Anyway she is so paranoid thar her fiancee is going to kill her for the heroin that she carries a toy snake that she's practiced yeeting into people's faces and then run away.
it also realistic as fuck

we can say alot about how dumb Bakarina is, but she pretty good at art and craft
 
Assuming you've heard of Hamefura, the reincarnated villainess with memories of someone from Japan believes that she has a bunch of doom flags with no eay out, cue all the cast trying to romance a person who genuinely believes they are forever stuck as villainess.
Anyway she is so paranoid thar her fiancee is going to kill her for the heroin that she carries a toy snake that she's practiced yeeting into people's faces and then run away.
I didn't read Hamefura precisely because there's such a thing as a harem too big.
 
Hahaha, as a history nerd I always have to bit my tongue when I see cavalry depicted in works of fiction, it is nice when I get to see even the basic recognition that the difference between heavy and light cavalry are the horses, not the armor. This level of detail is one of @ZeroXSEED personal marks at this point, and I really look forward to it.
 
Hahaha, as a history nerd I always have to bit my tongue when I see cavalry depicted in works of fiction, it is nice when I get to see even the basic recognition that the difference between heavy and light cavalry are the horses, not the armor. This level of detail is one of @ZeroXSEED personal marks at this point, and I really look forward to it.
Bear in mind horse cavalry is a bit on the outdated side at the moment. When everyone is fighting in power armor, it seemed that the expensive and easily injured horses felt a bit wasteful to use in the front line.
To give a bit perspective, let's use poundsterling (by which it's literally a pound of silver) as measurement. The cost of a satisfactory courser is around 1 Pounds, the cost of a barded destrier is anywhere from 7 (historical average during big wars) to 80 Pounds (a destrier fit for a king).

100 Pounds is enough money to build a small church or a big manor house.

300 day a year work for skilled labor gives you 7.5-12 Pounds.

An old Starfall cost 12 Pounds to build at the time of its service, the improved Starfall Crusader is 15 Pounds. Royal Blade with it's bells and whistles around 120 Pounds, but it was the very definition of wasted money for bling. That's why a copy for Adrianne was ordered without polish, estimated to cost around 24-30 Pounds.

A soldier armor suit cost about 3-5 Pounds, due to being made of wrought or cast iron. At some point in late medieval era, iron became dirt cheap and everyone wear iron armor too. This setting isn't too different in that regard.
While a barded charger can outram a soldier armor suit, chances are that the soldier would end up dazed or with minor injuries at worst, while the horse might get moderate to crippling injuries.
On a side note: the term soldier used in this story also ahistorical. Soldier comes from the Roman term solidus, aka, getting paid (with salary). Following this, the old English and French word 'Sodeour/sodeer' thus refer to mercenaries.

A true Medieval army (not mercenaries) don't really get paid with wages. They get paid by loot or territories, and they also have mandatory service terms where they didn't get paid at all for fighting a war. However, people in this setting do, because in-universe wise it was written by Japanese people with some understanding of Medieval era, but decide to write something that fit the perceived 'common sense' of the playerbase instead. (This chapter mentioned Sakura trees and school beginning in Spring)

I could go on and on but I feel it's not necessary. I put details where I can and took meta-level artistic liberties which result in weird ahistorical elements.
 
So... I don't know to what extent people have noticed that I've been proofreading this fic. I've just sent an edited version of Chapter 04 to ZeroXSEED, which he can use if he wants.

Is this something that people want me to keep doing? Does it enhance anyone's enjoyment of this fic? In other words, is it worthwhile for me to do this? Either way, please let me know.
 
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Well
So... I don't know to what extent people have noticed that I've been proofreading this fic. I've just sent an edited version of Chapter 04 to ZeroXSEED, which he can use if he wants.

Is this something that people want me to keep doing? Does it enhance anyone's enjoyment of this fic? In other words, is it worthwhile for me to do this? Either way, please let me know.
There's no reason why a better written story is worse for the readers. Zero's english is frankenstein language reliant on machine guidance of grammarly.

So I think native English reader appreciated your work very much, Chan.
 
I didn't read Hamefura precisely because there's such a thing as a harem too big.
I was surprised to learn that you're not familiar with HameFura: when I first started reading this fic, I noticed a lot of similarities with HameFura, which I didn't mind – in fact, it may have been one of the things that made me interested in this fic – I like HameFura so much that I wrote a 126,000-word fanfic for it.

Oh well, I suppose there's an obvious reason for the similarities: both this fic and HameFura were inspired by the 'young girl gets isekai'd into the body of a fictional villainess' anime/manga subgenre, so it's hardly surprising that they hit many of the same notes and make use of the same genre conventions, with the major difference being that HameFura tends to be parodic whereas this fic is more deconstructive.

Anyway, considering that I've proofread and offered editing suggestions for all chapters so far, it would be reasonable for you to suppose that there must be something I like about this fic, even if I haven't mentioned it so far. After all, if I didn't think it was worth the effort, I wouldn't have gone to the trouble, right?

I'm normally a passive consumer of other people's fiction (or fanfiction. Even when I really enjoy reading something, I don't often comment. Usually, I find that everything I wanted to say has already been said – and much better than I would have done. Nevertheless, because I've invested some time and effort into this fic, I want to explain what I like about it.

As a fanfic writer myself, I know how encouraging and uplifting a really detailed, thoughtful comment can be – I've never asked for any kind of reward or patronage for my writing, but I really like it when people let me know that they've been reading and enjoying my work – so I want to do that for ZeroXSEED.

You know, I used to think that I was bad at taking compliments. In real life, if someone said something nice about me, I'd blush and stammer and say something self-deprecating. However, I've since realised that, when there's a computer screen in front of me, that's not the case: I'm vain and arrogant and I measure my self-worth by the number of likes I get for each post. With me, flattery will get you everywhere. I would do anything for a compliment, but I won't do that. And so on and so forth.

I'm not good at giving compliments: I feel like everything I say is platitudinous, that I tend to repeat myself and say repetitive things in a way that makes my comments seem meaningless, and I can be harshly critical without really meaning to be. So, keep that in mind while I try to give this fic a positive review.

Well, that's enough about me. These are the things I like about this fic:
1. Adrianne isn't the typical Japanese high school girl who was isekai'd into the body of a fictional villainess. Instead, she is a noblewoman who just happened to absorb some of the memories of a Japanese high school girl who had played the otome game in which she was the villainess: her mindset is that of a medieval woman who gained some modern insights, not that of a modern woman who was transported back to medieval times. It's a subtle distinction, but I like it: it's a change to the usual formula that I haven't seen before.

2. Even when Adrianne was the villainess, she wasn't irredeemably awful: yes, she was snobby and horrible, but when she realised that she'd made a mistake, she tried to make amends, at the cost of her own life. I'm not exactly an expert on the 'isekai villainess' genre, but it seems to me (correct me if I'm wrong) that a lot of them make their villainesses cartoonishly evil, so that the change which comes over them is more noticeable (of course, HameFura took that to parodic extremes). The fact that this fic goes in a different direction is refreshing: even when she wasn't a nice person, Adrianne was always human, and that's part of what makes her an interesting character.

3. In fact, all of the main characters are multifaceted and interesting, not just a set of clichés in human form. (Obviously, I don't mind if minor characters such as 'Maid #3' and 'Bandit #6' are flat characters whom we learn nothing about: they're not important. As long as they serve their purpose in the story, that's fine.)

4. Although it's a story about futuristic/magitek powered armour in a pseudo-medieval setting, it's still rooted in real-world historical fact. For instance, although I'd heard the words before, it never occurred to me to think about the difference between destriers, palfreys, rounceys and so on – but then the last chapter helpfully explained it to me. Also, there's a well-thought-out reason for why the students would be riding those horses even though the advent of powered armour has made them more-or-less obsolete in battle: it's all about pomp and circumstance, a way for rich kids to show off their wealth.

5. The Kingdom's politics are mentioned often enough to be interesting and give the impression that this fic takes place in a larger world, but not in such depth that the story gets bogged down in the details. (On a related note – well, it's kind of tangent, but I hope you'll understand why I'm mentioning it – I can think of at least a couple of Harry Potter fics that I quite enjoyed until I reread them and couldn't get past the tedious political manoeuvrings of the 'Lord of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter' at the Wizengamot.)

So yeah, good job, ZeroXSEED! And thank you for sharing this story with the rest of us!

Well

There's no reason why a better written story is worse for the readers. Zero's english is frankenstein language reliant on machine guidance of grammarly.

So I think native English reader appreciated your work very much, Chan.
All right, thank you.
 
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I like this, I really like this. I was frustrated at some points because I thirsted after more evocative details and description, but that's only because I'm genuinely hooked by what I've read. Besides, all I had to do was keep reading to build up a clear picture of everything. This is just what I need to cleanse the disgruntled knot of feelings left behind by HameFura.

You handle character motivations and emotions in a direct, but interesting way, it's not that you won't dress the story up in figurative language, it's that you've an interesting enough world and characters that you don't need to. My own liking for all things magitek and reformed villian(esses!) may contribute a little, but it's safe to say that this is a fine read by the merit of your own competency.

In sum: you're pretty awesome.

Also, sound curses. Some kind of magical memetic hazard that can lie in wait for ages? Nasty stuff. Hopefully Adrianne will never have to trouble herself with such things ever again and she'll spend the next few years surrounded by good food and better friends, and nothing bad will ever happen ever.
 
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Chapter 05 - The stubborn Heroine and the second event flag
Proofread by @Chandagnac

The horse-mounted students in armor formed a neat column in the first training field area where everyone had gathered. Thanks to the size of the field, it afforded much more comfortable spaces between the horses, so even the slightly rebellious stallions could be reined properly.

In the past, most horses in military service were gelded. Stallions were known to have quite a temperament, while mares were needed for constant breeding. Nowadays, though, it was really up to personal preference. Gelded horses still remained favorites due to their high level of general obedience. However, mares didn't have much difference in performance or temperament, and stallions becoming more widespread than before.

Having a stallion as a personal ride meant you had the wealth, charisma, and patience to deal with one. It was unacceptable for a member of the Royal Family to ride anything else but a prized stallion, either a destrier or a palfrey.

And Theodore wasn't an exception to this.

Anyway, now that Adrianne had separated herself from the familiar crowd, she decided to take a gander at the people by her side. Adrianne noticed the possible love interests of Garnet: the son of the Kingdom's top military general and the son of the Royal Exchequer.

From what Adrianne remembered, the General's son was apparently Kuro's favorite character, aesthetically speaking. His personality, on the other hand... was quite unpleasant to people he disliked.

That was why he gave Adrianne a dismissive gaze and a scoff as their eyes met. The old Adrianne would have called him out right there for his insolent behavior. But the current Adrianne couldn't be bothered.

In the academy, the students were implicitly divided by their social status: the nobles, the burghers, and the commoners. The nobles and the burghers didn't get along all that often. This reflected the situation outside the academy, highlighting the constant friction between the urban burghers and the rural nobles.

As for the commoners, they could only back away or seek protection from one of the factions. That was part of school politics.

In fact, Garnet stood out in the game for being different, perhaps even uncaring of this social stratification, and trying to befriend everyone regardless of their status.

However, the in-game Garnet lacked the necessary courtesy needed for her to do that. The Adrianne in the game and many nobles thought that it was impertinent of Garnet to behave as if everyone was her equal.

From the standpoint of the Modern Earth audience, but especially the average player base, Garnet was absolutely in the right to do so. That was supposed to be what made her charming.

But even the current Adrianne would think the in-game Garnet was out of place considering the setting as a whole. She was much too innocent, bold, and lacking self-control. The entire game was viewed through the eyes of female players raised in Modern Earth, incompatible with the reality of a feudal world such as this one.

Adrianne tried to remember what was supposed to happen before the gate opened. The first event flag of the game was...

It was a scene that could only be described as breathtaking. Sakura petals fell gently at the rate of a few inches per second by the roadside, dancing along with the gentle wind of the spring season.

The new students of the Knight Academy and their mounts trailed along the smooth road of the Marble Valley town, showing off their wealth through their precious partners and how they were armored and adorned.

A seventeen-hands-tall horse calmly walked alongside the others, almost naked except for the saddle, bridle, and stirrups. Its hind was wide, indicating its nature as a workhorse rather than a riding horse. A relative short rider sat on its back, dressed in plate armor that had seen better days.

"Is that a sumpter? Why so big?"

"Look at her armor... so dirty."

"Is that even a student? She looks too young."

Many negative opinions echoed around her, yet the girl ignored them all, even though she felt saddened. She had to graduate from this academy to achieve her dream and change her mother's views, so this was only the beginning of her struggle.

Her name was Garnet Pucheria, daughter of a retired Royal Pharmacist.

"Starting today, we'll attend this school, Gray!" She smiled, full of optimism. Her gelded sumpter replied with a snort.

However, their excitement didn't last long before the Second Prince made an appearance with his barded stallion of a destrier. Not because of lack of proper training, the proud horse clapped and stomped the ground: it was the natural behavior of a stallion when they encountered potential threats or rivals.

The grey sumpter ignored the stallion at first. But the situation escalated slightly when the stallion walked closer and startled the giant. Its rider wobbled a bit but was caught by the Second Prince before she could fall.

"Are you alright, Miss?" he asked. His bright smile could be seen thanks to his open visor. "I'm sorry for my friend's behavior. We're all excited for this moment, aren't we?"

The Second Prince didn't speak in a manner befitting a man of his status. Even though he was known to be lax by the standards of noblemen, for him to be conversing informally with a stranger was unexpected. And, in the eyes of many of the noblewomen who were watching, unacceptable.

Still, he managed to calm down his stallion in but a second, showcasing his skill and the bond they shared.

"Aren't you... His Highness Theodore?" she murmured.

"Yes, I'm Theodore. May I know your name?"

"Umm, my name is Garnet, Garnet Pucheria."

"Ahem. It's not proper for you to converse so openly in a public road, your Highness," a woman said, interrupting them both.

The woman was tall and imposing, wearing gilded and decorated plate armor while riding a similarly well-off mare of a destrier. Her piercing eyes glared at Garnet, full of hate and jealousy.

"And you, how dare you to speak to him eye-to-eye like that?" she asked Garnet harshly. "Not to mention... did you steal your armor or what? Someone who can't even take care of her uniform doesn't deserve to come here! Besides, what's with the huge sumpter? It's going to eat so much for so little work. It doesn't belong here, either!"

"I think you have said too much, Adrianne. Remember, everyone comes to this academy from all sort of social backgrounds," Theodore rebuked her. "People don't get to choose where they are born."

"It's alright. It's true that I might be the poorest student in this academy right now. I can only pray and try my best." Garnet wrily smiled at the two nobles and hurriedly excused herself as the gate opened.


Right, that was what should have happened. The in-game Garnet didn't have many outstanding personality traits, but the two that stuck out the most were her unlimited optimism and patience.

No matter how many times Adrianne harassed her, Garnet would not budge nor be provoked into a needless fight. At the same time, Garnet was a determined person who would try to tackle challenges even if she was full of doubt inwardly.

Adrianne's stream of thought was interrupted when the Principal of the Knight's Academy made an appearance. He was wearing an old armor suit called Chevalier. It was so old that in battle it might be surpassed by the current iron soldier frame, but it didn't really matter because it was largely ceremonial in nature: the Chevalier had been passed from one Principal to another for many years. It was one hundred and thirty years old but relatively well-maintained considering its age.

"My name is Rudolph Bergman. I'm currently serving as the Principal of Marble Valley's Knight's Academy. I humbly welcome you, ladies and gentlemen, in your pursuit for higher education and refinement in the path of chivalry. The Knight's academies were established to improve the training of aspiring goals, to broaden their horizons and to drive them towards a clearly defined goal..."

The Principal continued his speech with a short history of the academy's establishment. The Marble Valley academy, in particular, was established 130 years ago, during the dawn of the armor suits era. The Principal's Chevalier was proof of that.

"Make no mistake. This academy cannot guarantee you a knighthood at the end of your time here. However, we will strive to prepare you as much as possible in the face of an uncertain future. The road of chivalry is an arduous one. Remember to carry on with courage and honor." The Principal finished his opening speech by crying out, "DEUS VULT!"

"DEUS VULT!" The students repeated the battle cry and assumed a salute.

CHAPTER 05 - THE STUBBORN HEROINE AND THE SECOND EVENT FLAG

The first thing the students had to deal with was to secure boarding for their horses. Technically left outside the Academy grounds, the pastures and paddocks were an enormous complex with acres upon acres of newly rejuvenated grassland.

Another show of wealth discrepancy could be seen by the horse's accommodations. The stallions got huge six-hundred-square-foot paddocks for themselves because it was hard to keep them from making trouble with others. Such premium space cost a lot of money. But, for many nobles, this was a feature and not a flaw.

The lesser nobles, burghers, and commoners could rent shared pasture space and stables. This was where mares and geldings shone. They didn't have the same fiery temperament as stallions.

Garnet wasn't an exception to this, as she brought her giant sumpter to the shared stables. The true nature of the horse was revealed once he was stripped of his bardings. Not unexpectedly, some people were amused.

The contrast between the shorter-than-average girl with her big horse couldn't be more obvious.

"Get along with everyone, Gray." Garnet happily rubbed the face of her partner and smiled. The pasture employee took over and guided Gray out so he could be put in a pen.

Rather than have them mix with each other immediately, the horses would be kept in individual pens for a few days, so that they would be able to see and smell each other but unable to make physical contact.

Satisfied with this arrangement, Garnet decided to leave and head back for orientation.

"Did that really happen?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it."

"How can she bear to show her face here?"

Garnet did notice that some people were having the time of their life talking behind her back. She had learned to filter out these noises a long time before.

"Is it really alright, letting them speak so freely?" Reinhard asked her, somewhat annoyed.

"Sir Reinhard doesn't have to worry. It's not as if what they said was wrong." Garnet smiled. "I don't have the time to pay attention to a bunch of loiter-sacks who can't even muster the courage to insult me to my face."

Adrianne and few other students grimaced when they heard Garnet's outlandishly provocative statement. Loiter-sack was an insult that meant 'scrounger'. So, it was as if Garnet had outright said that those who had insulted her were nothing but a family burden.

Upon hearing that, Reinhard burst into a fit of laughter. Understandably, it made some people furiously angry.

"Such a foul mouth, but what else you can expect from a hedge-born woman?" One of the gossiping nobles stomped up to Garnet and asked "So, is it true that you were born out of wedlock?"

"Yes, I have no father, so to speak," Garnet answered. There was not a shred of shame in her voice, nor did her expression shows any sign of such a negative feeling. "What of it?"

"Look at that, she admitted it so proudly!"

A few people laughed in response.

Garnet raised her voice. "Children don't get to choose the circumstances of their birth. However, my mother gave birth to me and raised me with her own hands. I couldn't be more proud of her."

"Yeah, like you're proud of your master? Oh wait, you're not even acknowledged by her. I wonder why that is?"

Another noblewoman stepped forth and pointed. "Whether you are qualified or not, it doesn't speak well of her that she denies your very existence like that."

Garnet's fists clenched and her face was furious.

Adrianne knew that this should be around the time that the second event got triggered. Evidently, even without Adrianne as an instigator, there were enough people who hated Garnet that the second event flag was unavoidable.

However, unlike the game's Garnet, she was enraged. And Adrianne couldn't say that she blamed her for it. Insulting a knight was a grave offense. In fact, it was highly unrealistic that the game's Garnet had stayed calm in such a situation.

"Dame Alcott is a respected knight in the service of this kingdom and shed her sweat and blood defending its people! You can insult me. You can even insult my mother. But it's improper for you to attack the credibility of Dame Alcott just to get a rise from me!" Garnet barked. "Your lack of chivalry is astounding!"

"How dare you!" the two noblewomen screamed back at her.

Adrianne wondered just how toxic those two would become. In the original game, they were much more subtle because they could simply let Adrianne be their avatar of wrath and stoke the fire of hatred in her. She had mixed feelings about that.

"I have to agree with Miss Pucheria here." An older student stepped forward with the intent to mediate between them. "If you have that much of a problem with her, then settle it through a martial contest."

"My brother, Avan!" Adrianne smiled. He had shown up at last.

Avan Lyster was a tall young man with a calm demeanour to match his bright and sharp appearance. Just like Adrianne, he had reddish-blond hair with purple eyes. Indeed, he looked very much like her, but his sturdy physique and chiselled jawline made him look a lot more masculine than she did.

Just like in the game, Avan was part of the academy's orientation committee, which was composed of second and third-year students. Their primary task was to guide the freshly enrolled underclassmen and ensure the orientation event went smoothly.

"It's Lord Avan!"

"The son of the Marchioness? The one called the brightest acolyte of the Grand Church?!"

"Long time no see, Adrianne." Avan waved at her but, unlike Reinhard, gave the proper noble greeting. "Anyway, an incident like this happens every year, and it's up to us upperclassman to deal with it. So, in my humble opinion, nothing else is enough to settle this dispute but a duel of honor."

A duel of honor was similar to trial by combat but of a lesser degree and importance. Nevertheless, the core component was the same: it was meant to prove which of the combatants was the righteous one based on their martial supremacy.

"Pfft. I doubt Miss Pucheria has an armor suit. Would dueling in plates be acceptable?" one of the noblewomen scoffed.

"I have an armor suit with me!" Garnet said defiantly.

This was yet another alteration to the game scenario: this time, it was Adrianne's doing.

Garnet could choose whether to borrow a knight suit or fight in plate armor. The reaction from the various love interests would be different, though the result of both choices would be generally positive.

However, since the House of Lyster gave her a knight suit, it was unknown how this would affect the young men's perception of Garnet. It was unusual for an unaffiliated student to have a personal knight suit before their enrollment, so most people would naturally be suspicious.

All Adrianne knew was that Garnet should perform even better than she did in the game since she'd had more time to get accustomed to the suit. If Garnet was anywhere near as good as her game counterpart, this duel of honor should be a cakewalk.

This was not the time for Adrianne to simply watch everything unfold, however. She still had a role to fill...

In the arena, the spectator seats were filled to the brim with curious and excited students. No one was shocked that something like this could happen on the first day of school. Still, no one expected that it would involve the rumored scholarship star, Garnet Pucheria. On the opposite side of the arena were Serena Darlington and Lina Denver, both of whom were the daughters of barons.

Adrianne thought that now it made sense how they latched onto her in the original game. They abused Garnet because, as far as the nobility was concerned, those two were nothing but the bottom rung of the noble caste, barely above a knight's descendants.

Garnet and her crimson Starfall entered the arena, which sparked quite a fanfare in response. When the spectators heard Garnet had a suit on her own, most of them had thought she was merely boasting.

But the Starfall didn't have any heraldry, also known as a coat of arms. They were emblems that represent the house or organization the suit served.

The lack of heraldry showed that it was indeed the private property of an unaffiliated commoner family. It was difficult for an unaffiliated commoner to survive the Knight's academy without support. They usually became part of a guild, each of which had their own coat of arms.

In the game, Garnet's lack of affiliation represented her freedom of association. Because of the heavily developed setting, Garnet actually narrated everything to the players in a monologue. So, even though she was naive, in-game Garnet was not at all ignorant.

Avan stepped forth in his own armor suit, acting as a referee. The Starfall Crusader was an improved version of the armor Garnet wore. While there were differences in many places, both have the same torso. The core unit, including the loop circuit, was pretty much identical.

"[We're going to use behourd rules: no attacking the back of the head, back of the knees, the neck or groin. No stabbing the gaps as well. The first to fall the ground will be the loser]." Avan explained the rules and then shouted. "[DEUS VULT]!"

"[DEUS VULT]!"

Behourd, also called buhurt, both of which meant wallop, was a system of full-contact sports that flourished on Modern Earth for more than six centuries. In behourd, participants wore full armor plates and hit each other with blunted weapons such as swords, axes, and so on.

In this other world, the rules of buhurt may also be used in a battle between two mechanized armor suits.

"[Are you going to fight us with that outdated piece of junk]?"

"[Starfall and Starfall Crusader's performance gap is insignificant. I see no problem with that]." Garnet crossed her arms.

Everyone could tell she was being smug even with her face fully covered. While hardly insurmountable, the one-tenth difference in strength and reaction speed was significant.

"[You ingrate]!" Lina's purple Southern Bluebird went ahead, swinging her halberd toward Garnet's Starfall. However, the long-shafted weapon missed by inches, as Garnet swiftly and precisely dodged it...

Before responding with a brutal head grab and knee-strike to Lina's helmet. A resounding clang echoed throughout the arena and made the audience quiet from shock. It wasn't enough as Garnet pulled out an iron stick and slammed the knob-shaped tip into Lina's back several times, each time sending her closer and closer to the ground.

The knobbed stick was practically a lightweight mace, trading impact momentum for range and speed. It was the same weapon that Garnet used in the game.

Only ten seconds had passed since the match began, and it was already clear who was going to win this bout. Lina was saved from imminent defeat thanks to Serena attacking Garnet, forcing her to disengage.

"[You're too reckless]!" Serena scolded Lina. "[This is two against one: we can win easily together]!"

People had thought Garnet would fight them sequentially. However, two against one was much too unfair.

"[I don't like the odds]." Garnet pulled out another knobbed stick with her left hand. "[But you're welcome to try]."

Needless to say, she wouldn't go down without a fight.
 
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The knobbed stick was practically a lightweight mace, trading impact momentum for range and speed. It was the same weapon that Garnet used in the game.

Metal shillelagh? Neat.

Is this something that people want me to keep doing? Does it enhance anyone's enjoyment of this fic? In other words, is it worthwhile for me to do this? Either way, please let me know.

Getting here early enough to see the difference, your edits do make a positive impact. I'd say it's worth it. Zero's raws have some tense consistency troubles but the work remains enjoyable.
 
It wasn't enough as Garnet pulled out an iron stick and slammed the knob-shaped tip to Lina's back several times, each time sending her closer and closer to the ground.

The knobbed stick was practically a lightweight mace, trading impact momentum for range and speed. It was the same weapon that Garnet used in the game.
Metal shillelagh? Neat.
Since I feel most people going to miss some context: imagine average baseball bat, now shrink it to a stick 3 cm diameter while keeping the same mass.

Forget flanges, it's still going to fuck up people with metal helmet on. It's a literal murderstick. Comparison with a mace is perfectly apt.
 
When we say that a heroine needs to beat the admirers off with a stick with how fiercely she is pursued in this genre, I'm not sure this is what we meant.
 
A lot of people nowadays think "oh, it's a stick. It's not a threat"

But a good length of steel or even hard wood is no joke and absolutely will fuck you up.
 
A lot of people nowadays think "oh, it's a stick. It's not a threat"

But a good length of steel or even hard wood is no joke and absolutely will fuck you up.
people underestimate kinetic force

just because it not in the form of 1 small object piercing you at high speed doesn't mean it won't fuck you up
 
people underestimate kinetic force

just because it not in the form of 1 small object piercing you at high speed doesn't mean it won't fuck you up

Given that strength augmentations reach far enough for a human to dust a door unassisted, the stick may as well be a small object piercing people at high speed. Messy.
 
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all weapon reduce to their basest component is something moving at high speed hitting something, pierce/slash/blunt all involve a metal object hitting you
 
Sticks aren't seen as threats because it's a wide open category that includes garbage that'll just break if you try to hit someone with it seriously (which may or may not work out by leaving you with something pointy temporarily). But a hard, crafted staff or club is a legitimate weapon.
 
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