The Crystal Lord (C&C:TW/Berserk SI)

Eh. Just go back to Generals and get a mod. If you haven't already, try Rise of the Reds first.
ROTR was awesome until I ran into a few technical issues I'm too lazy to fix. Since a power surge means I have to reinstall everything, maybe I'll give it another go.

Right now I've been getting my conquering kicks by replaying the Tiberium Wars campaign and goofing around with Mental Omega and its shiny new map editor.
 
Last edited:
*Watches E3*..........AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG. HATE. HAAAAAATTTTEEE.
But anyway, nice to see that this is back! Please keep it up, this deserves more attention than it is getting unlike a certain soul-devouring parasite masquerading as a game publisher.
 
10: Breifing
Among all the shit I'd already gone through, you'd expect a crowd of illiterate woman and children wouldn't phase me much. I guess, in a way, this was true. Their clothes were filthy. The simple rags never would have been exceptionally nice, but from how the cloth had thinned and frayed they seemed overdue for replacement. From the stench, I could tell they hadn't been let out of their cage during the journey.

Even if the lot had been freshly showered and clad in new clothing, I doubt I would have found them very impressive. Their shoulders were perpetually slumped, their heads seeming to rest on their neck instead of being held by them. Excluding Alessia, each one averted their gaze when I met them, which their eyes darting to the side or under their unkempt hair. I also towered over the lot of them. I had an average stature, so being taller then someone wasn't news to me, but never has it seemed to decisive. Maybe it was their posture.

That being said, while ordering this lot to do any sort of labor seemed cruel, I really needed to get them on my side. I couldn't tell them the whole truth. Even if they somehow believed the me, I didn't have enough time to explain everything, and quite a few questions myself I'm sure they'd ask.

I couldn't tell a full lie, or at least I didn't trust myself to. Sure, I could winning them over may be easier, but I'd have to work with them afterwards and I wanted to juggle as few inconsistencies as possible.

As almost always, a little bit of both seemed like the best option.

"My full name is Eric Bowman, Commander, Global Defense Initiative."

That's lie number one. While my body seemed to have the modifications I'd expect from a 2047, if everything but memories actually came from the tiberium universe (a statement which never should have required consideration), I was far too young to be anything but a second lieutenant. Maybe EVA trumped me a ridiculous number of grades before I woke up, or perhaps Commander wasn't a real rank in the tiberium universe, like how it wasn't in the army. I was certainly wearing an officer's uniform, and if a second lieutenant was the highest ranking officer on the planet, then I guess he was technically in command, wasn't he?

I'm digressing.

"Okay. Before I continue, I'm going to have to attend to that…" I pointed at the conyard "…every once in a while. While I'm gone, see if you can come up with any questions for me, and I'll try and answer them when I get back." I waited for some sort of response, like a nod or a murmur of affirmation, but my audience remained quiet.

"As you may have guessed, I am not from this land." I took a step backwards to point towards the Conyard. "Neither is this. Follow me." With a wave, I turned from the group and set a leisurely pace for the structure. The rustling of grass behind me was enough to convince me to continue.

"This is a construction yard. Inside, one of the most complicated machines in the world builds, uhhh, more buildings." I paused, although not for theatrics. I clearly hadn't planned this briefing as well as I thought. The amount of information I had to cover was overwhelming.

"You may be wondering how such a thing is possible. I'll try and explain." I stopped and turned again, to find the mass had been, at least physically, following me. "I don't know what you all know about magic, sorcery, or witchcraft, but I can guarantee there is nothing supernatural here." At least, not anymore. I had to get to where I was somehow, and while there were some explanations based in my understanding of science, I couldn't rule out any possibility in this scenario.

Taking another breath, I pointed towards the stubby tower at the back of the conyard. "Around there is what we call a generator. They harvest energy, like that of fire, wind or the sun, and make electricity." I turned around looking back at the group. "You folks know of lightning?"

"Yes." Alessia's reply was accompanied by a few nods.

"Alright. That's how electricity occurs in nature. The electricity provided by the generator is a lot weaker and easier to control, and is used to run the building's lights and its construction equipment. This takes the material I've stored under the building, refines it, forges it, cuts it, and assembles it into a machine that can deploy- er, turn into a building."

The hand dropped, and I found myself staring at the group. I don't know why, but what I'd planned to mention had taken a long longer in my head. I knew there was a lot more to say, but right now, my mind was drawing a blank. Thankfully the peasants remained a captive audience while I gathered my thoughts.

"All of this was created by people. Humans, like you and me. It took dozens of generations of work, with each person improving on their predecessors tools, to get something this advanced, but now that it's here? We have everything we need to build a town here."

There was no response from my audience, but I'd come to expect it at this point.

"Alright, I'll be gone for a few minutes, but I'll be back. Talk amongst yourselves and think of some questions in the meantime. There's a lot more you need to know, but if I talk all day I doubt you'll learn much."

With that, I turned from the group and retreated towards the Conyard. Why weren't they asking any questions? I could think of several reasons, sure, but the group in front of me was so alien that it could be none or any number of them. The HUD flickered to life before me, and I took another note of the barracks' progress. Sure enough, production had stalled and the first crate was waiting for me when I arrived at the building.

As I started the forklift, my mind continued to race with questions. Did I scare them? I had killed three people rather quickly, and I while I don't think Alessia had shared any specifics about her ordeal, she had been gone for a while. The worry from her several hours' absence certainly lingered.

I set the crate down only 30 meters from the Conyard, throwing the forklift into reverse and giving it plenty of room. Maybe it was societal. I never said I was a noble, but considering my clean clothing and upright posture, it wouldn't be an unreasonable assumption. I was no expert on the intricacies of medieval culture, but if they did think I was upper-class than questioning me probably ran severely against their culture.

Not sure what to do about that.

I felt tension building along my spine as I approached the construction module. It looked as inert as any other crate I'd seen, but I knew that it was going to crack open like some cybernetic mimic once I'd activated it. Following EVA's instructions, I checked every release wasn't obstructed, armed the crate, slammed the deployment lever into the on position, and high-tailed it to the forklift. Thoughts of the peasants were lost as I braced for the box to spring open. The thought that my guests would see this had barely registered by the time the crate's sides flew open.

...It isn't nearly as impressive from a safe distance. The tall grass concealed the drones as they skittered to their posts, and while the process created a billowing tower of dust actual clumps of dirt didn't seem to rise far above my head.

That didn't mean I left the safety of the forklift, though.

The pillar of dust had nearly dispersed by the time my forklift had reached the villagers. The group I approached was significantly more active then I'd left, but as the forklift drew nearer the peasant's animated gesturing disappeared and a collection of eyes focused on me. The group seemed to huddle together, before they collectively started to backpedal.

Ah, right. It might be over 50 meters away, but a giant machine was still heading straight for them.

I made a point to direct the forklift away from the villagers, before shutting down the vehicle and walking the remaining distance.

"Sorry for the delay back there." I shouted, approaching the group. "I'm sure you have questions." A good part of me wanted to apologize for scaring them as well, but every apology I could think of fell flat in my mind.

Of course, the expected silence ensued, but only for a moment.

"That voice. In the Construction Yard."

I froze, my eyes settling on Alessia.

"You heard EVA in the Conyard?"

"Yes." Her stare was just as sharp as her tone.

Crap. The majority of the things the Conyard did were entirely alien to them, but expecting them to even comprehend artificial intelligence was unrealistic, to put it lightly.

Still, my little survival scheme didn't leave me much room for lying. Time to see how good I was at summarizing.

"Well…" My mind raced. "...It's complicated. Simply put, it's possible to build a machine so complex that it can talk." I assumed my audience was fairly credulous, but judging by the expression on Alessia's face I hadn't sold it yet. "Let me be clear: EVA isn't smart like we are. It only acts in response to something. It doesn't have emotions, abstract thought, or self-awareness like we do." They wouldn't understand what I was saying, but at this point I hoped sounding impressive would be good enough. By the time I finished the sentence, it wasn't difficult to tell I'd lost the attention of the majority of the group.

"When you left, you produced a massive dust cloud earlier. What was that?"

It was Alessia's dark-haired companion, this time. Thankful for the much easier question, I responded as best I could, stated that I'd used machines to create a foundation for a building, and so on. Another question popped up about the forklift itself, but beyond that?

The sound of the wind in the grass covered whatever noise drifted from the conyard, leaving nothing to mask the silence that fell upon our group. I bit my lip in frustration. Of course this was going to happen. Besides the reasons I'd stated earlier, me and the conyard were so outside-context that they didn't really have a reference for good questions. They had to be overwhelmed.

"Okay… I think you might need more time to mull this over." I didn't know what else I could do, but our little talk hadn't been as productive as I hoped. "I'll be back near the conyard if any you think of anything."

Without waiting for a response, I turned and jogged away. That situation was getting awkward too quickly. My exit may not have been exactly graceful, but right now lingering with the group might be doing more harm than good. I didn't want to tell them about tiberium without some sort of proof. Even though I wasn't sure I needed it.

Speaking of which…

As the forklift once again lurched into motion, the drone I'd sent hadn't reached Koka castle yet, but it was well into the developing red zone. As I returned to the conyard, the drone's feed flickered to life.

If I could whistle, I certainly would have. The memory of escaping the transforming forest lingered in my mind, but between several more hours and a change in perspective things looked entirely different.

Even at this altitude, the field dominated the drone's vision. Millions of crystals, each a grain of sand, sparkled and danced under the drone as sunlight was reflected and refracted back into the camera. This must have been grassland like where I stood, because the field was unmarred by the corpses of trees. What had become of the grass itself was impossible to tell at this distance.

The drone's camera pivoted, bringing the horizon- and my little friend's objective- into view. The towers of a fortress, yanked straight out of a disney movie and nestled inside a small town, stood defiant atop a gentle, rolling hill. The urban area itself was sheltered in another layer of walls, the thick stone a clear barrier between where the city ended and the wilderness began.

It must have been pretty, once.

Now, the waves of grass it had disappeared. The same crystalline hellscape that dominated the impact zone had consumed it. It might have been atmospheric distortions, but the stout turrets and spattering of roofs seems discolored, somehow.

If the tiberium infection was all that seemed wrong with Koka, I probably wouldn't have stopped the forklift. However, as I continued to inspect the town, new issues continued to pop up.

Where was the farmland? Sure, the tiberium was pretty effective at making a landscape unrecognizable, but you'd think the changes in soil density and composition from farming would change how the crystal grew. The four roads that snaked away in the compass directions were certainly visible despite the alien intruder. There didn't seem to be any sort of hovels a peasant family could live in, either. The only civilization seemed to be concentrated inside the walls of the city.

Speaking of which, the protected area didn't seem right at all. I was familiar with how war-torn cities looked from both the news and history. Even from this distance, some of the telltale signs were there. The uneven smattering of roofs seemed to drop away at irregular places, while uneven gaps in the urban landscape were decorated in a random smattering of earth tones instead the color you'd expect from a park or garden. The walls seemed as firm as ever, though, and besides the tiberium the castle looked as picturesque as ever.

Once again, I found myself biting my lip. I initially thought the existential threat of tiberium far surpassed any local issues this lang might have, but something about Koka was rubbing me the wrong way. It seemed like, the next time the peasants and I met, I would be the one questioning them.
 
I'm saving a post here for author's notes and announcements, which I should have out in about 2 hours.

EDIT: First things first, let's talk about the delay: I thought I had a good chance to write over the summer, but between getting a job, various games, and the difficulty in writing this chapter I ended up with the delay. The big thing that kept me from finishing this chapter is the dialogue. I'm always bad at that sort of thing, especially when I have to try and preserve character and make it natural. Trying to have the conversation be awkward without it becoming boring or stilted was insanely difficult for me. Even now I'm not satisfied with it, but since my goal for this story is to overcome a bit of perfectionism when it comes to writing, I only spent about 30 minutes revising it before deciding it was good enough for publishing. As always, any criticism is welcome.

Second is the name. I decided to go for a more-or-less random alias for a few reasons. One, while I'm not making a concerted effort to stay anonymous online I don't feel comfortable just giving my name out. Additionally, calling the SI "Commander Bowman" instead of me might be a good thing in the long one.

The Berserk universe isn't a kind one, and adding the mother of all crystal growing sets isn't exactly a positive change. As such, Bowman's experiences, and thus personality and philosophy is probably going to diverge from mine a lot, and separating the two might be better for writing a consistent character. Additionally, considering where I plan on taking the story, the Commander is probably going to be making some questionable long-term moral, philosophical, and political choices, and I need to take criticism of those choices objectively so mistakes will be able to properly bite him in the ass.

Also, anyone have good sources on late-medieval culture and technology? I want to be faithful to Berserk, so if they make a mistake I'll be making it too, but beyond that I want to operate off a good set of assumptions.

For example, a lot of places I've looked claim that the priesthood were the only truly literate class in the period, but that doesn't really make sense to me. Writing was invented mostly for commerce reasons, so at least a good portion of traders and merchants must have been somewhat literate, right?
 
Last edited:
I'm glad to see this updating, its a fascinating story and i hope to see more.

In particular i liked the realistic awkwardness that nevertheless operated in a way that implied the SI's inner panic. That they were putting one objective after another and banging through them all, because his deadline is fast approaching. I'm very interested in seeing more village people interaction, there's something about these OOCP stories that i just love reading dialogue from.
 
The delay is fine, it's more important for you to get your life on track first. But still, I'm very glad to see this story is still living.

So what next? Medieval armies strapping tib to their bows and swords in an effort to make better weapons? Tib infused rocks as ammo for catapults? Or would they somehow develop liquid tin well before the commander get his base together and make a variant of Greek fire?
 
only truly literate class in the period
a good portion of traders and merchants must have been somewhat literate, right?
The key here is "only true" the merchant class may have had enough learning to possibly read and write numbers(otherwise how do they keep their books) but for reading and writing like us? Probably the priesthood(to maintain and teach the Bible) and the nobility. The peasants...

Not so much.
The delay is fine, it's more important for you to get your life on track first. But still, I'm very glad to see this story is still living.

So what next? Medieval armies strapping tib to their bows and swords in an effort to make better weapons? Tib infused rocks as ammo for catapults? Or would they somehow develop liquid tin well before the commander get his base together and make a variant of Greek fire?
I doubt it... Tiberium does... things if you dont handle it right.
 
I doubt it... Tiberium does... things if you dont handle it right

OH YEAH! Tib mutants! Just imagine the possibilities when your generals has no problems with losing thousands of men!
1) Chuck a bunch a dudes into a room or carriage full of tib.
2) wait for them to mutate
3) unleash them on your enemies
4) ????
5) profit
 
The key here is "only true" the merchant class may have had enough learning to possibly read and write numbers(otherwise how do they keep their books) but for reading and writing like us? Probably the priesthood(to maintain and teach the Bible) and the nobility. The peasants...

Not so much.

That kinda depends. On which medieval culture you are talking about.

Remember, some priests were also merchants and traders. Most people who travelled were.

You are probably right, in that most people wouldn't bother learning to read and write, even if they had the opportunity.

But some would. Especially if you could earn money with it.
(An argument can of course be made that these people would be the upwardly mobile folk.)

Trade you already talked about.

There was also all those fancy holy books. It was an art form, that wealthy people paid good money for.
 
11: Warning
"Is this is the shelter you're building?"

The dark-haired peasant, I think her name was Ruth, had surprised me, but at this point I was too hungry and tired to show it. After my exposition session with the peasants, I had thought I wouldn't be doing much more then working on the barracks, but I was wrong. No sooner had I arrived at the Conyard then the Refinery had started to demand attention.

The building had used some of the tiberium to fabricate those hexagonal containment units and storing them in boxes, forcing me to ferry them back to the Conyard while the building started dumping excess processed tiberium into it's twin silos. A quick diagnostic had informed me that it had also been spending tiberium directly to maintain the power to the containment units, and if I wanted efficient collection I should hook it up to the Conyard's generators or a dedicated power plant.

As if I didn't already have more of the stuff then I knew what to do with.

"Yeah. It's a barracks for soldiers, but it should do fine sheltering you all."

Ruth seemed to be the only one who'd really bought my explanations as to the nature of the Conyard and I. Of course, I hadn't spent much time with the main crowd so I couldn't say anything for certain. The group had wandered over to the conyard while I was messing with the refinery, with the majority staring into the assembly bay when I'd returned. I warned them the harsh light from the welders would hurt their eyes, but they hadn't stopped gawking until I'd shooed them off the pad.

On the bright side, once the group finally noticed the headaches the bright flashes had inflicted on them, their suffering meant my crash course on crane operation went unnoticed.

"It looks a little strange for a barracks..."

The building wasn't finished yet, but I had a feeling the last construction component wouldn't change Ruth's opinion. Of course, I couldn't honestly agree with her- Although I'd spent enough time on military bases to know that few barracks actually looked like this one, the iconic double-cylinder image had been burned into my conscious ever since I first watched my dad boot up Red Alert.

"Perhaps," I replied noncommittally, before shrugging. "But this barracks is designed to do more than just house soldiers." I'd been doing nothing more then hoping the barracks would be useful until recently, when I'd found the time to query the intel database on the issue.

"Like what?"

"Like the Conyard, the Barracks has the machinery to build things for us. Unlike buildings, though, we can expect clothing, weapons, ammunition, and most importantly food."

I finally turned to look at Ruth, Allowing myself to enjoy her confused expression.

"It can 'build' food?"

That got a chuckle out of me, but I forced it under control soon enough.

"It's preposterous, I know, but true. I doubt you'll find it enjoyable, but it'll fill your belly." My experiences with MRE's had been… mixed, but even if it was 20 years ahead of me I doubted anything the barracks could print wouldn't be 10% preservative. It wasn't like I didn't look forward to the prospect of food- ridding myself of the lightheadedness that came with the day's fasting was a welcome prospect.

The barrack's documentation vanished before me, replaced by a familiar unit list. The measly two icons had expanded to a respectable five. There was the drone now circling the destroyed castle, the far conyard, the distant tiberium refinery, and the icon for a completed barracks. With a thought, the barracks expanded into two icons, one four-fifths filled and the other one-fifth filled. Between EVA and the augmented reality implants, I was beginning to wonder how much support staff a GDI officer actually needed.

"Well," Fighting the impulse to yawn, I stood from the cushion of flattened grass I had been sitting on, adjusting my patrol cap. "Judging by the time, the last construction module should be ready."

I turned for the construction yard, taking note of the rustle of grass behind me. Ruth was following. I kind of felt bad for more or less speaking in jargon in front of the peasants, but with everything that had already happened today I was in no mood to bend over backwards to make my speaking understandable to these people. Hopefully, referring to the engineering marvel before me as if it was the most mundane thing would normalize it, enforcing the impression of a specialist rather than a priest.

The forklift was where I had left it, parked in its traditional spot in front of the Conyard. The rest of the group had spread out somewhat, the fact none were peering into the structure another sure sign that it had finished it's task. The thought occurred to me that I hadn't shown any of them the Conyard's water fountain, and with the heat of the day passing…

Oh well. I'm sure they had something with the cart they'd brought.

Upon noticing my arrival, Alessia removed herself from the general group of peasants, making her way towards me.

"Is this the last one?"

In all, fourteen people had been stuffed into the cage: Beyond the two women whose names I knew, four other adults clustered together at the edge of the conyard. I use the word "adult" very lightly, two of them looked like high school freshmen, but from the way one dotted around an infant, at least one was a mother. I was making a conscious effort to avoid thinking about that.

Beyond the women, four boys and three girls in various stages of adolescence chased each other around, messed around in the mud, and shouted at each other. I'd kept an eye on the Conyard's security cameras as I worked, but it seemed they'd kept out of the building. I didn't know if I needed to thank someone for keeping them out, or if the conyard itself was terrifying enough to keep them away, but I was glad I wouldn't have to worry about a kid sticking their head into active machinery or something.

I told myself I would get to know them better in the future, but in truth the last thing I wanted to do was hang out with the brats. I had a hard enough time figuring out what to say around the adults, thank you very much.

"Yes."

She nodded, matching my pace as I reached the forklift.

"I have another question."

"Alright," I replied, hauling myself up the vehicle. "Shoot."

After a few seconds of silence, I turned to look at her. There Alessia and Ruth were, staring at me. Oh, right.

"...that means ask me anything." I added, mentally slapping myself. Apparently I'd gotten lazy with more then just jargon.

"Ah." Alessia nodded, the annoyance sneaking back into her features. "You said that if we headed into Koka, we would die."

"I did." I replied, motioning for her to continue.

"Did that have anything to do with whatever is over there?" Alessia took a step back from me pointing at- no, past the conyard, into the hills.

"You mean the old forest?" I had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about, but she could have been mentioning the refinery. Visions of destroyed towns and melting trees forced themselves into my imagination, and I felt my shoulders tighten.

"Yes."

At her response, I took a deep breath, stepping down from the forklift's ladder and back onto the peasant's level. I had hoped to put it off until I had a good visual aid, but right now I needed to say something honest. You don't play word games when tiberium is involved.

"It does." For once, Alessia broke eye contact before I did. At least someone understood I was deadly serious. "I'm going to give you all a good explanation of that stuff around Koka once you've all showered and ate. Until then, if you see any green crystals nearby, let me know immediately and don't touch them." I made sure to lock eyes with everyone in my group, even the kids who I'd been trying to ignore until now. "If you do, you will suffer one of the most slow and painful deaths I can imagine. That thing over there?"

Separating myself from the forklift, I pointed around the conyard and into the former forest. What had once been a lush canopy that blanketed rolling hills a brown and grey hellscape, thoroughly-dead grass interrupted by the corpses of trees. Even the grassy plane was developing discolored splotches a scant few kilometers away.

"It scares me. Earlier today, that forest was as lush as any other. Now? Those green crystals have killed it. They eat everything they touch, and that includes all of you. Understand?"

I had their undivided attention. Kids clung to their Mother's robes. Every set of eyes was wide open, riveted on me.

"Good." I jumped back onto the forklift, confident I'd sufficiently scared everyone in the group.

Including me.

---

A/N: Bit of a short one, but I figured I wanted to dedicate an entire chapter to the Barracks, so instead of adding random filler (I want to get to interactions with actual Berserk characters, damnit!) I decided to snub y'all.
 
I wonder if the OP has access to Red Alert 1 tech. Having a chronosphere might be helpful, even if it is only used for its.... unorthodox properties.
 
Okay, so I've been reading this story for a while. I can say that it's an interesting concept, and you're grammar and spelling are pretty much spot-on... But the pacing is as fast as your SI's in-story build speed.

I mean you're already 23k words in, but your base, as you've mentioned in the story, doesn't even have a working power plant yet. As you've also said too, we haven't even seen too much of the actual Berserk world in the story aside from some peasantry and dead troops.

And it might've been interesting too if Koka wasn't turned into neon crystal hell. It would have lit a fire under the MC's ass to keep the tiberium from encroaching into a highly populated city.
 
I wonder if the OP has access to Red Alert 1 tech. Having a chronosphere might be helpful, even if it is only used for its.... unorthodox properties.

Oh hell no. Chronotech is the one thing in the Command and Conquer universe(s) that's scarier then tiberium. Maybe I'm too influenced by RA3: Paradox's fanon, but Tiberium doesn't permanently damage the laws of physics.

Okay, so I've been reading this story for a while. I can say that it's an interesting concept, and you're grammar and spelling are pretty much spot-on... But the pacing is as fast as your SI's in-story build speed.

I mean you're already 23k words in, but your base, as you've mentioned in the story, doesn't even have a working power plant yet. As you've also said too, we haven't even seen too much of the actual Berserk world in the story aside from some peasantry and dead troops.

And it might've been interesting too if Koka wasn't turned into neon crystal hell. It would have lit a fire under the MC's ass to keep the tiberium from encroaching into a highly populated city.

Very fair criticism. While I've been inducing time-skips as much as possible to get through the first day, turns out going as fast as possible while at the same time ensuring no one says "Wait a second, who is this again?" or "Hold on, where did that come from?" or severely breaking the 'show, don't tell' rule is actually pretty damn slow.

I'd like to say everything I've written so far is going to serve a purpose later on, but there's no way I'm that good a writer, so I'll just say that's what I'm going for.

As for Koka: I took a long time deliberating where and when in the setting the SI was going to show up. I decided against having the town intact for a few reasons:
  • The snake lord is too weird for the beginning of the story. That sounds like a terrible argument, but my plan is to initially downplay the paranormal aspects of the setting, messing around with Bowman's skepticism as the evidence of something weird going on steady piles up.
  • Messing with the very beginning of Guts' journey will cause too many butterflies for me to handle. I do plan on throwing everything off the rails, but I'd much rather throw a spanner in the political works then Gut's initial struggle with fate. His story-line is by no means safe, but there's a few plot points I want to leave that are essential to the development of some of the other characters.
 
Last edited:
Oh hell no. Chronotech is the one thing in the Command and Conquer universe(s) that's scarier then tiberium. Maybe I'm too influenced by RA3: Paradox's fanon, but Tiberium doesn't

I was thinking of the instakilling vortex that the chronosphere had a chance of spawning everytime that it was used.

If I remember properly, it chased after anything that goes near it. I have harvested so much salt by luring the vortex into the bases of my friends.

Better yet, the vortex would flicker in and out of existence pissing off my opponets even more.
 
12: Exploration
The Barracks: GDI's home away from home. Reading specifications beforehand, I knew the double-trapezoidal structure was designed to fit a platoon of soldiers in any environment for half a year, if not comfortably. The majority of the facilities, including a restroom, a shower, a washing machine, and the bulk of the fabrication systems were located in an armored basement, protected from the bulk of threats a base camp would face. The rest of the structure contained enough space to cram cots and combat gear. The intention was for a platoon of soldiers to throw one together in 5 minutes, comfortably isolate themselves inside for several months, and be able to tear the whole thing down on a moment's notice.

If it didn't need a steady supply of Tiberium to work, it would have made an amazing structure for colonizing other planets.

There were other Barracks variants, but none seemed particularly useful right now. An Officer's barracks was the only other variant that might have posed utility, but I wasn't going to mess around with options. Luxury could come after I had something substantial between me and the hungry hungry crystals.

Right now, I had the building to myself. The group was hot on my heels when I stepped into the Barrack's airlock, but I'd denied them.

None of us felt great about that, but what else was I going to do? If I didn't make sure my guests had good accommodations, I'd be a terrible host. They'd gobbled up the excuse without much grumbling, and resigned themselves to watching the Conyard begin work on another structure while I busied myself readying the barracks.

While the barracks had been assembling, I'd ferried 2 loads of tiberium to the new building, meaning I had plenty of material to work with.

A respectable amount was now pouring from the ceiling.

Nothing compared to a thorough shower after a hard day's work. The feeling soap rooting out the entrenched sweat and grime was refreshing, while the blanket of hot water smothered the tension that had been steadily building throughout the day. Sure, nothing had really changed, but the technological wonders of civilization hadn't abandoned me to the tib-rock.

Before the Third Tiberium War, GDI had reclaimed a few yellow zones in europe and were making progress in other stable areas. If not for the damage from the war itself and the radical change in Tiberium's nature (which might have been triggered by two liquid-T detonations I wouldn't have to worry about) there was a good chance they could have contained Tiberium for long enough to establish permanent settlements off-planet or, supposedly, eradicate it entirely. Sure, they had an established infrastructure to fight the threat, but so had Tiberium. Neither me nor my opponent was well situated, and while outpacing it might be difficult, it wasn't impossible. Stressing about it was natural, but not productive.

Hell, I didn't even have to harvest it all. There was a reason ZOCOM used so many Sonic weapons. A loose perimeter of sonic emitters wouldn't be 100% effective, but since the drone could detect tiberium pretty well I should be able to hunt down any breakouts with a Shatterer until I had enough people to actually deal with the threat.

It was a perfect plan… if one ignored the prospect of subterranean tiberium, the river that ran through the red zone, or the severe weather a Red Zone could produce.

Perhaps placing the base downwind of the contaminated area wasn't the smartest idea I had.

I could have stayed in the shower for several more minutes, but the protestations of my stomach prodded me out almost as soon as I finished rinsing. I couldn't afford to waste any time, anyways.

Toweling myself off, I added a quick swab of deodorant and started donning my change of clothes: A significantly more practical field uniform. Drab olive armor lay over fatigues splattered with a relatively mundane woodland camouflage pattern. The futuristic plate almost covered my entire body, but it's surprisingly low weight and wide range of motion ment it seemed fairly easy to forget I was wearing combat uniform. Unlike the largely ornamental armor of the dress uniform, this uniform came with the webbing for invaluable items such as a canteen or ammunition. Add the fact that some of the larger pieces of armor seemed to be cooling themselves, and you would understand why I wasn't planning on wearing the fragile and impractical dress uniform in the foreseeable future.

The Barracks' airlock slid open, daylight illuminating a fresh Commander Bowman. I might still be armed with nothing more than my height and an obsolete sidearm, but I no longer had to worry about food, shelter, and water. It felt like I was moving along at a snail's pace, but I was making progress.

"Is it ready?" Alessia was almost leaning against the barracks' entrance, breaking off some previously unknown conversation with the youngest woman.

"Yeah." I replied, looking over the group. As the first construction module for a dedicated power plant - I wasn't sure burning through tiberium was going to cut it for the undoubtedly power-hungry War Factory - had been completed, the group had dispersed somewhat. The majority of the Women were clustered between the two buildings, but a mental headcount came up short.

"Where's Ruth?"

"Ruth?" Alessia glanced over the crowd, before turning back to me. "She said she wanted to look at the forest."

The forest? Besides the Red Zone to the southwest, I couldn't think of any nearby-

"Shit."


---


Ruth was no stranger to death. The memories of her mother's passing lingered from her youth, and her youngest brother had succumbed to sweating sickness just two years ago. She had mourned them at the time, but not anymore. As the village Priest had once said, it was inevitable that the cow would be slaughtered, the flower would wilt, and the man would return to his creator. Death was as natural as life.

But this!

Ruth had known something was wrong almost immediately after she'd spotted the rabbit. The poor thing was creating racket in the tall grass, the constant shuffling and digging flattening several of the stalks around it. The creature barely spared a glance at Ruth as she approached, continuing to paw and rub against the grass stalks at the edge of the little clearing it had created. In that brief moment Ruth had thought she saw something catch the sun's rays, but the light disappeared when the rabbit plunged its nose back into the ground. Besides the brief glance it acted as if Ruth wasn't there at all.

Curious, ruth closed with the struggling creature, brushing a lock of hair away from her face as she leaned closer to the creature.

The rabbit was facing away from her, it's tail quivering from whatever frantic activity it was performing. Ruth's knees hit the grass as she brought her face closer to the thing, before recoiling in horror as the thing turned to face her again.

Starting from the end of its nose to the base of its wide, rapidly darting eyes, the rabbit's snout was riddled with strange green gemstones.

Almost falling over, Ruth squealed as she jumped into a standing position. The sudden movement must have been enough to finally startle the creature, as the pitiful rabbit disappeared into the tall grass.

What was that?

Ruth stumbled away from the thing, taking another look at the forest she'd been approaching. It didn't take much searching to make out the same strange crystals encrusting the branches, rocks, and carpeting the floor of the wood.

Her spine stiffened as she observed the scene. Had the woods been cursed?

The recollection of their first meeting with The Commander dimly returned. It was hard to tell over the wind, but Bowman had said something about an evil rock, right?

Ruth's shoulders tightened as she started backing away from the forest. She was gazing at something beyond her comprehension, and even this far she didn't feel safe. Why was Commander Bowman set up here?

"Ruth!"

The woman twisted as the shout drifted across the grass, only momentarily thrown off by The Commander's odd armor. The man was dashing towards her, swerving through the grass as he followed the path Ruth had carved through the field.

The man slowed to a jog as Ruth turned to face him, cupping his hands to his mouth as he shouted again.

"Get away from there!"

While the Commander hadn't been particularly calm after he'd killed their captors, He'd been fairly composed as he directed Ruth and her peers. Not now. Ruth could only draw one conclusion from Bowman's rapid gait and desperate tone: He was afraid.

Ruth cast a glance back at strange sight behind her, before turning away and running. In response the commander stopped, an armored hand waving her over.

"What-" Arriving just short of Commander Bowman, Ruth took the moment to take a gulp of air. "What was that?"

"That…" He stated, drawing his strange weapon and gazing into the woods. "...is far too close. We need to get out of here." The man started to back up, his stare locking into Ruth. "You didn't touch any strange crystals, did you?"

Between the sudden intensity of the the man's question and his almost primal gaze, Ruth was stunned. Here he was, wearing undoubtedly some sort of armor and with a frighteningly powerful weapon drawn. Would touching those gems be so terrible? Images of the poor rabbit flashed through her mind and the peasant shuttered.

"Uh…" Ruth hesitated, thinking about her encounter. "I don't think so…"

"It would have felt like a bad burn." Commander Bowman replied. "If you don't remember hurting like hell, it didn't happen. Let's go."

Ruth couldn't muster a reply before the Commander turned, striking a jog as he fled along the path the two had carved in the grass. Heasantly, Ruth followed. As she begun moving, unwilling to keep up with the man's light jog, she glanced back at the strange wood. With every step, the entire wood, from the treeline until it disappeared over a hill, seemed to glitter back.

Ruth grabbed her dress, hoisting it up to quicken her pace. She didn't think she ever would have entered the cursed forest, but something in the back of her mind told her she'd just avoided a terrible fate.

---

A/N: Long story short: I went on an unannounced hiatus. There isn't any other good word for it. Midterms set in and left me pretty creatively drained, something I didn't recover from until I read my unfinished chapter part and had to do some editing. This was technically supposed to be 2/3rds of the chapter I wanted to give you, but the scene I'm working on is dragging on longer then I planned for so it might become it's own chapter. Luckily a good portion of it is already done, but I won't give any promises since this is the beginning of my college's dead week. Hope you enjoyed, and as always let me know your criticism.

EDIT: Also CNC remaster, which is cool. No matter how much EA screws up we'll at least get a good soundtrack out of it, which is nice.
 
Last edited:
So yeah, the pacing's still excruciatingly slow.

Also:
While I've been inducing time-skips as much as possible to get through the first day, turns out going as fast as possible while at the same time ensuring no one says "Wait a second, who is this again?" or "Hold on, where did that come from?" or severely breaking the 'show, don't tell' rule is actually pretty damn slow.
I should have replied to this sooner. The "show don't tell" rule doesn't legally obligate you to tell every single detail or action with an accompanying adjective/adverb though. Sometimes even just 'telling' would be better if it can get straight to the point.

As for this update:
There were other Barracks variants, but none seemed particularly useful right now. An Officer's barracks was the only other variant that might have posed utility, but I wasn't going to mess around with options. Luxury could come after I had something substantial between me and the hungry hungry crystals.

While the barracks had been assembling, I'd ferried 2 loads of tiberium to the new building, meaning I had plenty of material to work with.

A respectable amount was now pouring from the ceiling.

Toweling myself off, I added a quick swab of deodorant and started donning my change of clothes: A significantly more practical field uniform. Drab olive armor lay over fatigues splattered with a relatively mundane woodland camouflage pattern. The futuristic plate almost covered my entire body, but it's surprisingly low weight and wide range of motion ment it seemed fairly easy to forget I was wearing combat uniform. Unlike the largely ornamental armor of the dress uniform, this uniform came with the webbing for invaluable items such as a canteen or ammunition. Add the fact that some of the larger pieces of armor seemed to be cooling themselves, and you would understand why I wasn't planning on wearing the fragile and impractical dress uniform in the foreseeable future.

I wasn't sure burning through tiberium was going to cut it for the undoubtedly power-hungry War Factory -

brushing a lock of hair away from her face as she leaned closer to the creature.

The man slowed to a jog as Ruth turned to face him, cupping his hands to his mouth as he shouted again.

While the Commander hadn't been particularly calm after he'd killed their captors, He'd been fairly composed as he directed Ruth and her peers. Not now. Ruth could only draw one conclusion from Bowman's rapid gait and desperate tone:

Here he was, wearing undoubtedly some sort of armor and with a frighteningly powerful weapon drawn.
You could remove 95% of the quoted text, it would still have the important talking points for this update, which was:
  • Barracks are done, with its amenities, and the power plant's going up*
  • Ruth wandered away and seen first-hand the effects of tiberium poisoning
  • Bowman pulled her back before she got infected
1.9k update summarized in 3 bullet points

While the C&C tech lore is interesting, it's really ill-advised to keep inserting them between and during scenes. It's not a need-to-know tidbit that could be delegated to a Codex Interlude, or expanded on when the base is more established, or on a more relaxed setting for the characters. As it is, it's just exhausting both you as a writer and your readers.

*It really tells you how bad your pacing needs work when you're getting a building done and another one started in one update, when other fics have entire bases laid out in 2-3 updates.
 
The berserk world is so awful that having green rocks murder everything could actually be a good thing. The idea of evil would die off thanks to no people to sustain it, which would then free all the souls being tortured in it.
 
*It really tells you how bad your pacing needs work when you're getting a building done and another one started in one update, when other fics have entire bases laid out in 2-3 updates.

Honestly I prefer this. Yeah the overall pacing is kind of bogged down, but C&C fics that go from zero to a hundred before the story is even really established have always bothered me. I mean, look, he'll probably need endgame gear to even compete with Godhand if and when it comes down to that, but that's endgame. I'm liking this slower, more down to earth take on it. I do agree with you to an extent though. Pyrrhic definitely needs to worry less about telling us every thing going on. I think a lot of the buildings going up and the base being established shouldn't be skipped, but simply done in the background. Have some of the characters have a conversation when it starts and have it be done by the time the talk is over.
 
I could totally see SI not realizing that there is an auto-build feature integrated in his HUD that EVA hasnt told him about because he hasnt asked about it yet.
 
Back
Top