The Abolitionist (Honorverse/Gamer SI)
- Thread starter happynslappy
- Start date
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
I cackled like a gnarly old crone with a magic cauldron after reading this chapter, the only way it could be better is if the response to 'how did you make yourself sticky?' was 'by sticking to things.'
Pretty reasonable all things considered, and given Gamer Body the 'android' guess is actually more accurate than one might think.
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Nitronorm5688
The Armchair Reader
- Location
- Oakdale, CT
That right there cracks me up. Just funny.
Now I'm a tad interested in reading the books.
- Location
- usa
Most of the books happens hundreds of lightyears away, and the main timeline starts 50 years from now
I'm gonna try not to intersect with canon all to much, still deciding whether or not the butterflies here will change anything
edit: also my main character doesn't have a bonded treecat and never will
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- Location
- Germany
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Depends on what you do with the character. With his mission statement, sooner or later it should. Or you infiltrate the Mesan Alignment, take over, and rule humanity mk2 and later the local group as Emperor.
- Location
- England
Good instincts, but today we are not in a Worm fic.
- Location
- usa
Oh jeez that hadn't even occurred to me. he bet that way because he bribed somebody to have a look at the records for Peter's culling and got a look at the memo on the first threadmark
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Vaalintine
Wild Wondorous Wolfalope
Not really seeing why they're any different from the rest. Or how this is supposed to be trustworthy instead of generating fear and hate.
- Location
- usa
It wasn't meant to come off as anything different, he's a gang boss. also he was completely and utterly truthful, the manumission of slaves is illegal on Mesa
Clearly ,these are not simple RPG plot mooks. Be wary child.
Chapter 9
- Location
- usa
got distracted by lewds and video games for a week. this will absolutely happen again
That was enlightening. Apparently the country I'm in is a slaver nation. I'll have to go across an ocean or something before I can get free. Anyway I'm with my less grumpy and uninjured escort who's taking me to my room now.
"Well we're back at your room. Someone will come get you breakfast time, then we can figure out a place for you in the organization."
"OK. Is it alright if I improve myself in the meantime?"
"Sure kid, just make sure you get enough sleep." he says as he walks off. Wish I could remember his name. Anyways time for another meditation session. I should be able to wake up in time for breakfast. Failing that they'll snap me out of it.
Gonna work on my Mana Manipulation. How you say? You didn't? Well too bad. First I'm gonna see if I can get it to flow better from wherever the source is.
Mana Manipulation has leveled up by 1
Lets see if I can do better.
Mana Manipulation has leveled up by 1
Hmmm. Can I get it back down to the minimum?
Mana Manipulation has leveled up by 3
OK, but that only leaves me with full blast or minimum. Lets be thorough about this and get me to be able to do anything in between
Mana Manipulation has leveled up by 3
That took longer. I think. Either way I'll eat my hat if that didn't eat up most of the night. Good thing I don't have a hat to eat yet. No sense eating my own words here. Waking up
Meditation has leveled up by 4
The lights are out. Good sign, turning on. Unlocking door. There's no guard here. I must be more trusted than I thought. Lights are coming on automatically in the hallway. God I hated that in Alien: Isolation. Fuck horror games. Ruined like 7 different terrains for me. Wandering the halls, and it looks like this is a dorm floor. Seems I've been moved. Down the stairs is another dorm floor. Down to the last floor is another dorm floor. Up to the stairs to one floor above where I woke up is looking to be more familiar territory. Half a minute later and I find a guard.
He looks at me then does a quick double take "Hey kid how the hell did you get in here?" I freeze up. Do people not know about me? I thought I would be the topic of office gossip if for no other reason than I had a guard at one point. He starts walking towards me and growls "Hey kid I'm talking to you."
"I was in a room downstairs. I was told I would be woken up for breakfast?" He looks at me askance.
"Who told you that?"
"John did, did I wake up early?"
He scrunches his eyebrows and speaks into his wristwatch "I got some kid here that says John brought him in I'll need some confirmation on that." Looking to me "Come with me and I'll get you something to eat." I go with him, and 2 corridors later we come to the canteen. He ushers me to a chair and says "Sit" in a commanding tone. I do so and he goes over behind the serving counter to rummage around for some food for me presumably. I don't need food, but I'm not telling anybody that ever. I've gotten enough weird stares as it is.
I see a clock on the wall. looks like it's midnight. Coulda sworn I was out for longer than that. The muscled guard is coming back with a pudding cup and a plastic spoon, sets it down, and starts pacing. I pull up my inventory and he doesn't react. Good to know. I put the pudding cup in when he's not looking and put my poker face on. Wait, have I always had my poker face on?
+1 Wis
No time for that now, he's noticed the absence of pudding cup.
"Where did you put the cup?"
"I ate it." His eye twitches at this
"Bullshit. Did you throw it somewhere?"
"If you don't believe me you can eat it yourself when you never find it." His eye twitches again.
"I'll be sitting down here until John can verify your story." He says pulling up a chair. it was 5 more minutes before anything else happened. The thug was fidgeting a little.
"Holy Shit!" came John's voice from behind me. looking back he seems a bit shocked.
"Are you mad? I didn't mean to wake up early." He tries to speak up at that but fails a couple times. Looking a bit confused he chokes out
"Kid you've been in your stupid trance for 7 straight months"
Name: Peter Johnson
Gender: Male
Age: 6
Level: 1 (110/1000)
Patron: Prometheus
Title: none
Special Status: Immature Body 9 years, 4 months, 5 days, and 6 hours remaining
HP: 150/150
MP: 210/210
SP: 200/200
Strength: 5 [10]
Vitality: 10 [16]
Dexterity: 8 [12]
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 24(+1)
Perception: 22
Unclaimed stat points Feature disabled in hard mode
Perks
0/0 slots used none available
Traits
Slightly Autistic: you think differently than other people
Gamer's Mind: Protects from all forms of mental intrusion, influence, and control. Brain chemistry is always (mostly) balanced, and you can never forget anything. Negates all emotional trauma and impulsiveness. You are in complete control of yourself at all times and must consciously pursue your goals
Gamer's Body: Your body is that of a video game protagonist's. As video games are timeless and shite at simulating reality, you both no longer age and no longer take anatomical damage. Any attacks specifically made as an attempt to do so will inflict status effects. You also feel pain directly in proportion to how much health you're missing.
Skills
Observe max level: no cost. gives information based on perception stat
Meditation level 7:(+4) increases mana regeneration rate by level*10%. you must stay absolutely still and cannot perceive the world around you when active
Mana Manipulation level 9:(+8) the ease and finesse that you can manipulate mana. reduces all mana expenditures by level/2% the mana difficulty of a skill is the level this skill needs to be at to use said skill without concentration at full effectiveness at max level.
Sticky Mana level 2: activation cost is 10 mana. maintenance cost is 20 mana per minute. mana difficulty is 15. reduction of maintenance equal to level% can coat yourself and equipped gear in a layer of sticky mana.
Climbing level 11: uses stamina based on tools used and surface climbed. uses level/2% less stamina and you climb 5% faster with each level
Computer use level 5: determines how good you are at navigating computer menus and settings. Has multiple sub-skills.
Blunt Damage Resistance level 1: determines blunt damage resistance. resisted blunt damage equals skill level. no max level.
Stealth level 6: no cost. decreases base visibility by level*10% when active. Must be consciously used. base visibility almost always exceeds 100%
Intimidation level 6: no cost. Increases base intimidation chances by level%. Must be consciously used. Base intimidation chances range from +-200%
Gender: Male
Age: 6
Level: 1 (110/1000)
Patron: Prometheus
Title: none
Special Status: Immature Body 9 years, 4 months, 5 days, and 6 hours remaining
HP: 150/150
MP: 210/210
SP: 200/200
Strength: 5 [10]
Vitality: 10 [16]
Dexterity: 8 [12]
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 24(+1)
Perception: 22
Perks
0/0 slots used none available
Traits
Slightly Autistic: you think differently than other people
Gamer's Mind: Protects from all forms of mental intrusion, influence, and control. Brain chemistry is always (mostly) balanced, and you can never forget anything. Negates all emotional trauma and impulsiveness. You are in complete control of yourself at all times and must consciously pursue your goals
Gamer's Body: Your body is that of a video game protagonist's. As video games are timeless and shite at simulating reality, you both no longer age and no longer take anatomical damage. Any attacks specifically made as an attempt to do so will inflict status effects. You also feel pain directly in proportion to how much health you're missing.
Skills
Observe max level: no cost. gives information based on perception stat
Meditation level 7:(+4) increases mana regeneration rate by level*10%. you must stay absolutely still and cannot perceive the world around you when active
Mana Manipulation level 9:(+8) the ease and finesse that you can manipulate mana. reduces all mana expenditures by level/2% the mana difficulty of a skill is the level this skill needs to be at to use said skill without concentration at full effectiveness at max level.
Sticky Mana level 2: activation cost is 10 mana. maintenance cost is 20 mana per minute. mana difficulty is 15. reduction of maintenance equal to level% can coat yourself and equipped gear in a layer of sticky mana.
Climbing level 11: uses stamina based on tools used and surface climbed. uses level/2% less stamina and you climb 5% faster with each level
Computer use level 5: determines how good you are at navigating computer menus and settings. Has multiple sub-skills.
Blunt Damage Resistance level 1: determines blunt damage resistance. resisted blunt damage equals skill level. no max level.
Stealth level 6: no cost. decreases base visibility by level*10% when active. Must be consciously used. base visibility almost always exceeds 100%
Intimidation level 6: no cost. Increases base intimidation chances by level%. Must be consciously used. Base intimidation chances range from +-200%
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lancelot
Completely worth it
Yeah I'm done with this, this trance thing is fucking stupid and you keep repeating the stupidity. Considering I've read all the books and how rare Honor Harrington fanfics are it's depressing that this is so... bad? terrible? Yes lets go with terrible.
- Location
- LEO
Yeah, what was the point with this chapter? I don't like any of the characters and no new plot points were introduced. There is no need to drag your readers through useless character interactions. All this trance could be glossed over in two paragraphs.
I don't want to discourage new fanfic writers, but you should think about the story you want to tell. Right now you are writing a sleepy layabout with the social skills God gave an acorn. He is painfully naive and almost entirely lacking in motivation. Please take a look at your storyline and show us the cool stuff, not falling asleep for another few months.
I wrote up a draft for a hp SI fanfic, and rereading the script 3 years later I can see where i would have written myself into corners. it seems that you are relying on fall into a trance and introducing new plot elements. This is dull and uncreative. I want Mesa and manpower to get what's coming to them, not read about Mr sleepyhead here.
Edit:
You are writing a comic book, in story form. Idk how to describe it, but read this hp fanfic.
m.fanfiction.net
It does lots of worldbuilding in very few paragraphs. You start each scene with a setting and characters talking, and by the time you write that you are out of words and you resort to trances.
I don't want to discourage new fanfic writers, but you should think about the story you want to tell. Right now you are writing a sleepy layabout with the social skills God gave an acorn. He is painfully naive and almost entirely lacking in motivation. Please take a look at your storyline and show us the cool stuff, not falling asleep for another few months.
I wrote up a draft for a hp SI fanfic, and rereading the script 3 years later I can see where i would have written myself into corners. it seems that you are relying on fall into a trance and introducing new plot elements. This is dull and uncreative. I want Mesa and manpower to get what's coming to them, not read about Mr sleepyhead here.
Edit:
You are writing a comic book, in story form. Idk how to describe it, but read this hp fanfic.
Fanfic: Doubting Thomas, Harry Potter | FanFiction
m.fanfiction.net
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- Location
- Anchorage, Alaska
i kind of agree...you spent several months doing...absolutely jack...not to mention you litteraly sat around and meditated, i would have thought they would have tried to knock you out of it.
it seems like your treating the meditation thing a bit to much, frankly using magic is a cheap system to get things done in a sci-fi universe...sorry not into this anymore, not my cup of tea to essentially just...gain nothing from this.
it seems like your treating the meditation thing a bit to much, frankly using magic is a cheap system to get things done in a sci-fi universe...sorry not into this anymore, not my cup of tea to essentially just...gain nothing from this.
- Location
- California
Well, at this rate the organization has banned you from meditation. Can't say it's a waste, but it's also a solid ability that's not being utilized.
lancelot
Completely worth it
So... never?
Lets... agree this chapter was a joke and we will see the actual Ch9 soon?
It might be better to make meditation a harder to pull feat. Like say-the tutorial/newb bonus is over, and now any distraction, like noise, alarm clock, touch or even someone breathing in the same room will distract the SI ending the trance. And best that its done OFF-SCREEN.
Have him train magic in some warehouse or large room (shooting range maybe?).
It might be better to make meditation a harder to pull feat. Like say-the tutorial/newb bonus is over, and now any distraction, like noise, alarm clock, touch or even someone breathing in the same room will distract the SI ending the trance. And best that its done OFF-SCREEN.
Have him train magic in some warehouse or large room (shooting range maybe?).
Yeah, the MC of The Gamer was a combat monster in a few months of lazy training.
It would be illogical if by the timeline start you are not considered a starnation in your own right by dint of firepower, intelligence etc...
Nevermind, the MC seem to have fallen from every branch on the dumbass tree.