That night [NGE]

[E.D.C.]

Hi !

I'm kinda new to all this, I've add an account of SV for 2 weeks or something, and more importantly I'm really new at the whole fanfiction thing. I've been reading Evangelion fanfictions for a while now, starting with Higher Learning back in the day.
But it didn't end there ! I kept on reading more and more stories until one of them, Look at Me by Effybelle, which brought me to write my own. You know, just to get it out of my system. So that's just what I did. Thing is, now I kinda want to keep going, to get it to the end, I have the ideas but I'm not that sure about myself ! I'd like to make another Advice and Trust AU ! So here is the beginning, and maybe if you think it's cool maybe the rest !


That Night



Another sleepless night in Tokyo-3 for the Third Child. He was laying on his bed, hid SDAT playing the same two tracks in his ears. He wasn't listening to them. He still automatically played them back to back, but white noise would have had the same effect on the boy.



It wasn't the first night he could not sleep, he was getting used to it by now, he thought. But he had more of them since that night. And it was precisely what was keeping him awake right now.

Switching track on his SDAT, he recalled once again the events of his last day of sync training with Asuka.



Her genuine -or so it seemed, he still was not sure- happiness when she learned Misato wouldn't be there all night, followed by her usual fire coming back when she told him not to cross the "Impenetrable Wall of Jericho".



He remembered everything about that, her rather revealing outfit, emphasized by her position when she said it. This image was forever carved in his teenager's brain. Her curves which he could see from her cleavage in his peripheral vision -looking at them directly would have been a death sentence-, her skin, her beautiful face even through the rage she was expressing, her big blue eyes, her flamboyant hair. Seldom did he see her without her A10 headpieces. 'She's so gorgeous', he reminded himself once again.



With her hair down like that, she looked... More like a normal girl. Not the grandiose Evangelion Unit-02 Pilot she wanted everyone in the whole world to know she was, as she had told him. Just... Asuka Langley Sohryu.



It was precisely this idea which was keeping him awake. Again. When she whispered 'Mama...' right before he... tried to kiss her in her sleep. He wasn't too proud of that. But that wasn't important. This whisper was. He didn't realize at first. Thinking back to the abuse she put him through since she arrived in Tokyo-3... No ! She started even before on the Over The Rainbow ! His exasperation and frustration made him think she was a child just as much as he was. Nothing more.



It wasn't before several days had passed after they both destroyed the Seventh Angel that, playing this memory back in his mind during another sleepless night, it hit him. She was a child like him. And these few seconds had more meaning than he grasped at first. It was a window. An opening which showed him, albeit for a brief instant, the real Asuka. He learned that night that there was more to Asuka Langley Sohryu than an arrogant bitch. He just didn't understand it at the time. Her fiery temperament, her noisiness, everything she was was just an act... Okay, maybe not just an act, it was another part of her personality, which he also was attracted to, he had to admit, even if it made no sense to him. Moreover, there was something about her mother. He had to know what, they might not be that different in the end. Or maybe she just missed her, since she had to leave Germany to come here. He had no idea, she didn't speak very much about herself.



Since that night, he happened to ear her whimper in her sleep a few more nights through her sliding door. Seeing how her eyes had teared-up, he assumed that the story of her Mother was something that deeply scarred her. That it was not merely because she missed her. She never called her, she never even got mail. There had to be something more. But he couldn't know for sure. He had to ask her. He had to know. That train of thoughts scared Shinji a great deal. He never had a real discussion with her, and he knew that if he were to ask her, he should wait for the right opportunity, or she would probably kill him on the spot.



That being said, she didn't look as terrifying to him anymore. Something was different, even though nothing had changed on the surface. She still pushed him and shouted at him every time she had the occasion, but he knew better. She was fragile, and the only logical conclusion as to why she acted like that was because she wanted to push everyone away. But Shinji didn't want to be away from her. Not anymore, he realized. He wanted to know the real Asuka, he was more attracted to her now that he realized that she was not only a pretty face.



There was something he knew though, through all these theories and conjectures. He was worthless. He was a coward. A weak, dishonest coward. Even if he found the courage to confess his attraction to the girl across the hall, how could she possibly reciprocate those feelings ? She was strong and brave. She never had second thoughts about going to battle, she even liked it ! And even if he was indeed right, there was absolutely no way she could share his feelings.



It always ended like this. It hadn't changed since the day his father abandoned him. He always came back to this conclusion. Except that now he was an Eva Pilot. He wasn't completely worthless anymore. People looked up to him to save the world. If he weren't, he would be nothing, just like he used to. But it didn't cheer him up. He hated being an Eva pilot. He hated that it was the only thing people saw about him. They didn't care about him. He was just a tool.



It wasn't long before the Third Child started to fall asleep from exhaustion. It was late, his thoughts were getting blurry, all remained were impressions, feelings. A tiny glimmer of hope engulfed in sadness and depression.


XXXXX


The next morning, Shinji did everything he could to hide how tired he was, it barely shown anyway, but he was sure Asuka wouldn't get off his back -not in the way he would have liked- if she saw him tired in the morning. He wouldn't hear the end of it. Baka, hentai, pervert, I know exactly what you were up all night doing, you better hope none of my panties are missing and so on and so forth. He knew so much about the Second Child that he was able to know beforehand what she would say to him to chastise him. 'Guess these days of sync training left a bigger impression on me than I thought'.



His determination helped him focus on not showing any sign of weakness. He had to know, to find this window into her heart and reach for it. To get to know the real her. She could, and would, keep on abusing him at any given time, but it didn't matter. She didn't scare him as much anymore, and everything she could say could be the opportunity he was looking for. He just had to be patient.


XXXXX


'She's going to a blind date... It might already be too late'. He began to despair and this time he was chastising himself. His usual behavior of not taking things head on had backfired yet again. He hadn't done anything in weeks. Even en Angel attacked ! 'Waiting for the right opportunity, she might be sucking faces with whatever jerk Hikari introduced her. Dammit !'



But he had other things to focus on. He went to visit his mother's grave with his father this day. Spending time with him had not been unpleasant, but he couldn't say much more than that. He was still as cold as ever. Seeing his mother soothed him though, in a way. It had been three years since last time. A visit to her grave was long overdue.



But as soon as he came back home, he couldn't occupy his mind anymore. He tried everything he could. He couldn't focus on his homework, so he decided to do the laundry, with Asuka's clothes... and underwear. He still did it, but it didn't help. He tried to watch TV but nothing managed to get his attention off the redhead and her jerk of a date. In a last-ditch effort, he went in his room and grabbed his SDAT. It always helped him escape the world and its worries, but it didn't prevent him from thinking. It never had and he knew that.



There was still something he hadn't tried. He picked up his cello case, retrieved his cello from inside and went to sit down on one of the kitchen's chairs. After a bit of tuning, he started playing. It had been a while since he had last played, so his first few notes were hesitant, but it soon came back to him. He lost track of time while playing, it worked on his thoughts, he was fully focused on the music. When he felt he shook off the rust enough, he started playing Bach's Cello Suite No 1. He loved this piece, how complicated it was, yet how beautiful, how every notes flowed, how it put this beautiful instrument at the center of attention. As the piece reached its ending, Shinji's mind was blank, he finally managed to get some peace of mind, nothing would disturb him...



Clap clap clap.



This sound brought him back in reality at the speed of light. Someone else was here. He turned his head and saw Asuka on the threshold of the kitchen. She was still applauding him.



"Not bad at all. I didn't know you played." 'She's here !' he thought. 'Something must have happened, it might not be too late after all !' He focused all his energy on not showing how happy he was to see her this early.



"I've been studying since I was five, but I'm not very good. I don't really have any talent." 'I have to know what happened, I have to ask her when I get the chance', talking about how he started playing cello helped him keep is composure.



"Perseverance is power. I'm impressed." 'Did she just... Compliment me ? If I had knew that would happen, I would have retrieved it earlier !'



"I started studying because my teacher told me to, but I could have quit anytime."



"So, why didn't you ?"



"Because nobody told me to stop."



"I should have known." 'Now is a good time, go !'



"You came back early, I thought you'd have dinner too."



"He was just so boring ! So, while he was waiting in line for the roller coaster, I left." 'Yes !' He was really happy when he heard that. Finally he could relax and stop thinking she would be even more out of reach than she already was. He had to keep is composure though.



"That's harsh."



"Really, Kaji is the only cool guy." And with that, Asuka shot him right through the heart. He was still a child, he was still not worthy enough for her...


XXXXX


Asuka was sitting on a chair, her head laying on her hand on the kitchen table. Shinji was seating on the threshold, reading while listening to his SDAT.



"Hey, Shinji, do you want to kiss me ?" she asked, her voice was monotone.



"What ?" Shinji heard what she said, but wasn't sure he actually believed it. He took off his headset.



"A kiss. A kiss ? You've never kissed a girl, have you ?" 'Where is this coming from ? And more importantly, where is this going ?'



He shook his head



"Then let's do it." 'This is a trick. This has to be a trick. She is just pushing me.' he thought, jumping when he heard her.



"But why ?"



"Because I'm bored" 'I don't buy it, I know where this is going. She's going to call me a hentai again... That being said... Maybe it's the only chance I'll get.'



"Is that a reason ?!" He knew he was blushing, he couldn't look her in the eyes.



"Do you not want to kiss on the anniversary of your mom's death ?" She was definitely pushing him now. And hurting him doing so. But this time he saw the opportunity he had longed for for so long.



"And what about your mother, Asuka ?"



Asuka looked at him, her blue eyes wide. She was utterly shocked at Shinji's question. Where did that come from ? Tears already started gathering in her eyes, she was still looking at him, trying to come up with something to answer him. Something that would hurt him, preferably. But nothing came. After a few seconds, she stood up and stormed out of the kitchen and into her room. Shinji studied her reaction and felt guilty about how he brought it up. He saw how hurt she looked. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. It was too late now, he couldn't let this be the conclusion of their discussion. He stood up and went to her room. The sliding door was ajar, it bounced back when she slammed it.

"Asuka ?" He said, entering her room, closing the door behind him and switching the light on. She was laying on her bed, facing the wall. Silent tears were rolling down to her pillow. She was not going to give the Third Child the satisfaction of seeing this, she thought. She was used to this, crying in silence, not showing anything.



"Go away !" She shouted with all the rage she could muster. And right now, she had a lot. 'Don't abandon me' her mind echoed. 'I don't want to be alone, it's a pain.'



"Asuka, it's really difficult to be around you sometimes."



"Then. Go. Away. Now !" Shinji shivered when he heard her shout, full of wrath, but there was something more too, her sadness. He wouldn't leave her like that. Especially because he was responsible.



None of them paid attention to the front door of the apartment sliding open and closing soon after. Misato wouldn't come see them anyway.



"No. And I won't apologize for what I said, " She smiled a little into her pillow when he said that, she hid it from him. "but I'll tell you something. My mother died when I was around three years old. Soon after, my father abandoned me. I was raised by a teacher outside of Tokyo-3. I have been alone for 10 years, no friends, nothing except my teacher. Today I went to visit my mother, and my father told me that she wasn't even there, that her grave was empty. He also told me that he destroyed everything about her. There are no pictures left of her, nothing..." his voice broke when a sob escaped his mouth "I don't even remember her !" he was crying now. He never told anyone that much about him.



Asuka sat on her bed when he finished, she was shook by his confession. It sounded really close to her own story, she thought. She looked at him for some time.



"... I... Shouldn't have... I didn't know..." It was her way of apologizing to him, he thought, but at that time he didn't care. He opened to someone, she listened and all this pain he built up inside finally broke out.



"Thanks for opening up to me", she said to break the silence, but she genuinely meant it. It was something new to her, and she wanted to understand why he did this. Sure, there was the obvious reason that he wanted to explain her how she hurt him, but that wasn't like him. When he was hurt... When she hurt him, he closed himself. That's how he reacted. He went to his room and listened to his SDAT. What did it mean ? Did it mean that they were friends ? It sure looked like that, but her guts told her there was something more. Was it because he trusted her ? 'Does he... Need me ? Does he care about me ? How much ?..' The thought was almost too much to handle. She already had it before. Mainly because as much as she picked fights with him, she cared about him too. He was always there, he always came back. Everyone in her life before just didn't care or gave up after being shoved a few times, but not him. And having seen him retort to her, sharing his secrets with her, she understood it was yet again Shinji Ikari reaching out to her. Like nobody ever did. This time she couldn't shove him away again, she had to think of something. Quick !



"Hey Baka ? Instead of a kiss, how about a hug ?" With the tone of her voice, it was clear that she wasn't insulting him this time, just a way to get his attention.



He nodded. He was crying a bit less now. She came closer to him and took him in her arms, she wasn't facing her so she was hugging her side. After a few seconds, Shinji shifted and hugged her back. They both relaxed in each other's arms. They could feel each other's warmth, but more importantly, they both felt warm inside. They both really wanted and needed that hug, so they stayed like that a long time, neither one of them wanted to break their embrace. Asuka broke the silence, however.



"Look at you, Third Child, finally growing a spine !" she said, mock-insulting him.



"I knew you had a heart, Second Child ! He tried to put as much disdain as he could in those last words, but he didn't sound very convincing. They laughed against each other and stayed locked in their embrace for some time after before loosening their grip, but Shinji kept his arms around Asuka's waist, and she kept her arm around his neck.



This hug meant the world to Shinji, it had been as if time had stopped, that nothing else but them existed. He made the most of it, of the contact between them, her warmth, her scent... He hadn't been hugged since... He couldn't remember. And it was her that was hugging him ! His sorrow was a bit easier to cope with thanks to her. 'She has done this to reach out to me ! She would never have done this normally.' They just shared, no, they were still sharing a moment of genuine and thorough happiness together, right after they hurt each other and he let it all out before her. This moment was the happiest he felt in years. They were still hugging while looking in each others' eyes. He seemed to notice something different in them. He wasn't sure. Probably nothing, he thought. He couldn't analyze anything right now, he was still enthralled by her beauty, he wanted to kiss her. Right now. His mind raced. 'What's wrong with me ? Am I stupid enough to ruin everything because I would die to kiss her right now ? She looks so beautiful, il feels so good to be in her arms. You're still in her arms right now Ikari ! This has to mean something ! She could have let me go a -long- while ago, and I'm still discussing whether I should kiss her ?! But if I kiss her, she might go back to chastising me, she might lock herself away again. She would probably kill me for that kind of boldness. But then again, I would die with a smile on my face, so that wouldn't be so bad.' he thought amusedly. 'Plus, she wanted us to kiss earlier. Out of boredom, maybe, but that still counts, right ? Ah dammit Ikari, for once in your life, stop thinking and ACT !'

He leaned to close the gap between them and put his lips on hers. Surprised at this contact, she jumped and backed off reflexively, startling Shinji.



"Why did you do that for ?!" She didn't sound too angry, more surprised than anything.



Shinji, trying to conceal how pained he was at this sudden rejection, remained silent for a minute. He looked away.



"I... I wanted to make sure you weren't bored ?" This answer made her smile a little, but she wouldn't let go like this.



"No. I want a serious answer Ikari."



Shinji knew he couldn't escape. Not that his legs would have carried him right now anyway. He was scared, but he knew he had to stand his ground. He couldn't run away. Regaining his composure, he answered the Second Child after a few seconds.



"First, I've always been attracted to you. At least physically." He wasn't stuttering, he was scared, he didn't want to lose her, but he had wanted to say those words to her for so long that he emanated an aura of confidence that surprised him more than anyone else. "But then something happened... Do you remember the last night of our sync training ?



"When you kissed me in my sleep ?" She asked sarcastically. She didn't want to, she was very focused on what he had to say, but her words escaped her mouth before she even realized they did.



"Tried to. Not that it is much better, but can we not delve on that for now ? Please ?" Now that it was out of the way, she focused back on his answer. He would pay her back for this attempted kiss, but she would wait. She nodded. "You cried in your sleep." he continued "About your mother. I didn't understand it at the time, but I later realized that there was more to you than what you showed. That I wanted to know the real you. That the Asuka I knew was only what you agreed to show me. And I hated that you had nightmares like that. That the brave and confident girl in front of me could be so sad that it had to come out at night ! I wanted to help you !" He was tearing up again, which moved her. He truly was concerned about her. "That's why I asked you this question earlier. And that's also why I kissed you."



"It's been weeks since that night ! Why did you take so long ?" Some of her usual fire was back in her voice, as well as a tint of joy, almost bliss at what he had just said. He didn't notice it.



"I took the first opportunity I had. I couldn't come to you out of the blue and ask you about your mother !" he said defensively.



"That's kind of what you did."



"I know ! You talked about my mother, it just came out !"



"It was harsh."



"Again, it was the only opportunity I had in weeks to get you to open-up to me !"



'He wanted me to open-up to him. He truly cares about me.' This tint of joy was getting bigger and bigger as he kept justifying himself "And what good did it do, Third Child ? I haven't opened-up to you." She didn't know why, but she still had to push him. To test his resolve, maybe.



"But you did ! You're right, I don't know more about you than yesterday, but you apologized to me, you even hugged me !" He paused, looking back at her, she was smiling. "I don't want to push you, so if you don't want to tell me about anything you don't have to. I can wait. I'll always be there for you." He couldn't believe what he had said. It wasn't a confession per se, but it didn't leave much room for interpretation. He didn't even realize before saying this that it was how he felt about her. He closed his eyes as he expected the worst.



He didn't wait long as Asuka hugged him once again, more tightly this time. He hugged her back, surprised, but happy to feel her once more this close to him. After some time, she pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes.

"You know... I don't want to do this out of boredom anymore..." she said before leaning to kiss him passionately. He was even more surprised this time, but he went with it, with all his love. They kissed for a long time, each expressing with this kiss the feelings they couldn't put into words. She finally broke it and leaned her head on his shoulder.



"... Baka." she whispered to finish her sentence, tears of joy forming in the corner of her eyes.

 

[E.D.C.]

I haven't posted those here, but I have two new chapters that I added on ff.net, so I might as well post them here !

They stayed like this for a long time, locked in their embrace, both completely oblivious to the outside world. Both of them enjoying the other's warmth and silent comfort. Hence, they never saw the eyes watching them from the ajar door.



'Good for you kids !' Kaji thought before leaving, not willing to invade their privacy any longer, He walked away discreetly, leaving the apartment. He could have been the worst spy on Earth, the Children wouldn't have noticed him. They looked appeased, but it was only from the outside.



Asuka's mind raced. 'This feels nice... But I can't ! This is wrong ! Sure, he said some nice things, but this doesn't change anything ! He still is this pathetic little wimp ! This... boy ! I want... No. I deserve a man, a real man, like Kaji. This poor excuse even for a boy doesn't cut it ! It can't !' Even if she was arguing with herself, trying to come up with reasons, or excuses, to reject him, she was still holding him, her head comfortably nuzzled on his shoulder, and it was slowly rocking with his breathing. 'He's an insufferable doormat ! Always apologizing for nothing, always moping ! Yet I'm still in his arms, and I don't want to leave... I guess he can also be quite brave when we fight... And he saved my life ! He didn't hesitate one second before jumping inside a volcano without protection to save me. He caught me just a few seconds after the cable finally gave way, so he must have jumped even before he knew it would. Just to save me. Come to think of it, he's always been there for me... I keep pushing him away, like everyone else in my life, and he keeps coming back. And Gott knows I pushed him away. I've never addressed him without insulting him, I mean, he never answers back ! It's too easy ! I've even hurt him physically !.. And yet he keeps coming back... Could he really mean what he said ? Could he... Love me ?.. He keeps coming back...'



"You know ? You're not as bad as I thought"



"Erm... Thanks ?" Shinji answered, not sure if it was meant as a compliment or and insult. She always had a way to make him doubt every "praise" she addressed him.



"Don't get me wrong, you're still just a dumb idiot. But I can't deny that all of what happened was kinda nice. But don't think that'll change anything !



'I know', he thought bitterly. She had broke their embrace and was gesturing to emphasize what she was saying.



"But you made a good choice !", she kept going, trying to sound as much as her usual haughty character as possible. "Maybe it could prove beneficial to you ! After all, it is I, Asuka Langley Soryu who kissed you ! You should feel honored ! And thankful that you are still alive ! Though I must tell you that I will kill you if you speak of these events to anyone... And maybe you'll be less of a wimp thanks to me ! Don't thank me. Even I, sometimes, am willing to help."



'So this is it ? It didn't mean anything to her ? It was 'kinda nice' ?' Shinji couldn't believe his ears. He felt his heart sink as his anger started to rise. 'This was the best thing of my life. I can't remember being this happy before and it was nothing to you ? Why do you always have to push me away ? Why can't you accept me ? I want to be close to you. Always ! But it hurts too much. Especially because I know the answers to these questions. I'm weak, I'm selfish... I'm a coward. Who could stand to be close to me ?' He visibly slumped as these thoughts formed into his mind.



"I should go back to my room... Good night." He said, defeated, his voice hollow as he stood up.



"No. Don't..." 'Abandon me'. Asuka whispered, turning away from him to hide her face, as she couldn't hide the fear and sadness at what he said.



He could have missed it, her whisper was barely audible, but he heard it as if she had shouted right in his ear.



'Asuka... What do you mean ? What do I do ? Are you still toying with me ? I want to stay with you Asuka. I want to get to know you. All of you... She kissed me. She held me... And now... I mustn't run away. I shouldn't run away... I...' He felt his resolve harden as his fist clenched and unclenched instinctively. 'I don't want to run away. Not from her.'



His decision made, he took a first step towards the door.



'He abandons me too. He is like everyone else. Like Papa, like Mama. I'm all alone, I've always been alone.' Asuka couldn't look in his direction. She tried not to show anything, but she knew that she wasn't very convincing. She heard the door close and after that, the light went off. That wasn't the right order, she thought, so she turned her head and saw Shinji's silhouette coming back to her bed. Relieved, she smiled at him, who barely saw it in the dark room, before shifting on her bed to leave him a spot and turned her back to him.



"You turn in the other direction too, and don't get any funny ideas, Third Child." she said, still smiling.



Shinji smiled too at this comment and laid on her bed. "Good night, Asuka."



.



.



When Shinji woke up, he wasn't surprised to see a once familiar ceiling that he hadn't seen since he got kicked out of his room by the same person he had shared a bed with last night. What surprised him, however, was that the redhead who claimed this room to herself had her head on his chest and an arm across from him. And that he was holding her too. He couldn't see her face but he knew she was still asleep for several reasons. First, it was still pretty early in the morning, even for him to wake up, which was the second reason. He always was the first one up, which gave him time to himself and also to prepare breakfast for the three of them. The third reason was that he hadn't been awakened by said redhead's fury. Because she wouldn't let this pass. Even after what happened last night. She told him not to get any funny ideas... And they are sleeping like this ?



That being said, he quickly realized that he couldn't move. Not without waking her up. And Asuka wasn't known for her patience, especially in the morning. To prove his theory, Shinji tried a slight movement, which was quickly interrupted by the arm across him tightening its grip slightly.

'She seems so peaceful.' He thought, turning his head to look at the alarm clock. 'It's still early, I could go back to sleep for an hour or so... And if she wakes up before me, she might not be too mad. Wishful thinking, I know. But maybe she'll accept that we just finished like this during our sleep.' With that, he closed his eyes again and squeezed Asuka gently, making her purr contentedly.



.



.



'I haven't slept that well in ages ! Just having him next to me was enough to have a good night sleep, for once. I feel warm... And his heartbeat is really soothing... Wait ! Heartbeat ?



She opened her eyes and saw that indeed, she was in his arms, her head on his chest, and that it felt very good. But he couldn't see this, nor know how it made her feel. He stirred a little when she extracted herself from his arms. She put a hand on his cheek and whispered "Thank you, Shinji." before waking him up too.

1. 
   
   

"Hey idiot ! My breakfast isn't going to make itself ! I know you'd looove to stay in bed with the most beautiful girl in Tokyo-3 for the rest of your life but we have school today !" She shouted, startling him, but he felt relieved when he understood what she said, and that she wasn't screaming at him for the position they were in when he woke up.



He left her room and went straight to his to put on his school uniform before heading to the kitchen to fix breakfast for himself and his roommates, he had to force himself to suppress the smile on his face, because he didn't want to have an embarrassing talk with Misato when she would wake up. It hadn't been too difficult, because he knew things would not come that easy. Not with Asuka... And not with himself... As much as he wanted to be with her, he knew that the most likely outcome was that he was going to mess everything up, so he decided to see how she would act first, which was a way of not admitting that he wasn't going to do anything.



Asuka was already in her school uniform and she locked herself in the bathroom for her morning routine. And for her part, she was back to her usual self. She was angry. Angry at him for everything that happened, but most of all, angry at herself for liking it as much as she did. 'Why did it have to be that good ? Dammit ! I should hate him ! I've always hated him !' She knew that last part was a lie, but today, she didn't want to think about the times when she genuinely was glad he was part of her life. Ready for the day, she stepped out of the bathroom deciding that she would be nice to him today and just ignore him, instead of what her instincts told her to do, which was to lash out at him.



Hence, the walk to school was quiet and uneasy. Shinji was looking at his feet, trying his best to hide his sadness, not daring to take a first step towards Asuka, feeling her anger. He knew how to read the signs by now, and he was certain that she was about to burst. They arrived in their class just seconds before it started and went to their respective desks without exchanging even a look.



The bell announcing lunch break startled Shinji, who couldn't make any sense of why Asuka was acting like she was. He spent the whole class thinking about it, looking as discreetly as possible in her direction. 'If she hated everything that much, why did she want me to stay with her last night ? Or why did she not say anything about how they must have woke up ? I really don't understand anything about w...'



"Hey Shinji ! Why the long face ?" Kensuke said while taking a chair and sitting in front of him.



"Yeah Shin-Man ! You look even gloomier than usual, did something happen with the Red Demon again ?" Toji added, sitting on one of the table, his feet on an other.



"Yeah..." Shinji answered with a low voice. " You could say that." He looked in the direction of her desk again, only to see that it was empty. 'She must have left to eat with Hikari' he thought.



"Tell us what happened !" Kensuke demanded rather loudly, before Shinji could go back to his thoughts.



"Screw that ! You can't let her boss you around like that Shin-Man ! It's time to man up ! Just go to her and tell the Red Demon what you think of her !"



"Yeah, like you did with her ? You want me to tell you how it ended when you did that ?" Kensuke smirked.



"It's not the same ! I'm not living with her !" Toji retorted. "Shinji can't let her do that, otherwise she'll make his life a living hell ! She already does !"



Shinji didn't answer, but Toji's words rang in his mind. He knew that he was right. That he had to face her to clarify everything. 'If I don't do anything, things will go back to how they were before. Maybe even worse. I have to talk to her after school.'



Toji and Kensuke were arguing about which strategy would be better against Asuka, and pretty much ignored Shinji as their conversation became more heated. He was glad for that, because he wasn't in the mood to talk. His mind went back to their kiss. 'If only they knew', he thought.





.



.



Asuka left class as fast as she could after taking her lunch from Shinji. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She needed time to think. 'I don't get it ! I can't let him be near me ! I don't need anyone ! Especially not him ! But... I don't want him to leave. And I know he will ! He always runs away ! And if I accept him, he will as soon as he'll know how pathetic I am... He'll leave, just like everyone else left... But maybe... Aaaaaaaargh !



Her thoughts were interrupted by a pigtailed brunette.



"Asuka, you left in a hurry. Are you okay ?" asked Hikari, genuinely concerned about her best friend.



"Shinji pisses me off." She grunted, knowing that Hikari wasn't asking this question out of pity for her.



"What did he do this time ?", Hikari responded, her tone betraying her disapproval of Asuka's behavior towards her fellow pilot.



Asuka had troubles not exploding when she heard that question "What's that supposed to mean ?"



Taken aback, but not willing to let go, Hikari pressed "Well uhm... It seems that Ikari has a way of getting under your skin." She stated, amused at her own comment, but she didn't show it. She could see they both had a crush on each other, so she sometimes said comments like that, just so maybe Asuka would get the hint.



"It doesn't matter. You know how he is ! Just being close to this wimp is enough to piss me off. Some times he's just more infuriating than others."



"I think you're too hard on him. He's doing what he can to reach out to you." She knew when the first word escaped her mouth that she would summon her friend's anger, and since she was already angry, it wouldn't be long before she would storm out. Asuka always did that when she was too angry at her, because she didn't want to shout at her best friend... But this time she stayed, so Hikari was starting to believe that she pushed too far this time. She braced herself for the oncoming storm... Which never came.



"Maybe you're right." Was all that Asuka answered. She didn't sound angry, just... Confused. Lost in her thoughts. So the both of them ate in silence. Before returning to class.



.



.



They went home the same way they went to school. In silence, but it was different. They were both too absorbed in their minds to talk to each other this time.



Asuka kept her head straight, her shoulders squared. Confidence radiated from her, as always, except if one was to look directly into her eyes. They were... Blank. Her brows frowned. They betrayed her uncertainty, there seemed to be a war raging inside her mind. She was glad, as a consequence, that Shinji was walking a few steps before her.



He looked disturbingly similar to her. It was rather uncommon for him. His fists were clenched, his eyes showed a confidence that usually could only be seen when he was sitting inside his Entry Plug.



They hadn't lived in this city for a long time, especially not Asuka, but they could have walked back to the apartment they shared with their commanding officer/guardian with their eyes closed. It was a good thing, since neither of them seemed to be paying attention to their surroundings.



When they finally reached their home, Asuka mechanically took off her shoes and went straight to her room. Shinji wanted to confront her then but couldn't reach her in time. As much as he wanted to, he was still scared of her, as he had been this morning. But he wouldn't run away. He was just postponing their unavoidable (so he had decided) conversation.



Dinner came and went. Even Misato stayed quiet. She could feel her charges' tension. And this time it felt different than usual to her. So she decided against teasing them as she would have usually done to try and cheer them up. Even her attempts at making conversation fell flat, so she instead focused on her beers.



Asuka went to her room without even uttering a word.



"I'm going to bed too", Misato said some minutes after. "It'll be good to catch up on some sleep ! Good night Shin-Chan !"



"Good night, Misato-San !" Shinji answered, still doing the dishes.



He took a few deep breaths after having finished and knocked gently on Asuka's door frame.



"Leave me alone." Was all the answer he got.



He flinched, but opened the door nonetheless and went inside.



"No." He answered calmly 'I mustn't run away.', closing the door quietly behind him.



"Is it going to become a habit ? You coming in my room when I clearly tell you not to ?" She was annoyed. She had had a lot of time to think today, but she couldn't organize her thoughts. Every time she thought about Shinji long enough, her mind brought back the memories of their kiss, of their hug, of his heartbeat against her ear, and everything it made her feel. So she couldn't concentrate, and as a consequence, she hadn't made any progress towards making a decision.



"W-We need to talk." he stammered, trying his best to sound confident.



This was the last straw for her. She didn't want to have this conversation yet, so her anger finally won.



"Listen, Third Child." she didn't want to raise her voice in order not to stir Misato's attention, but Shinji could clearly ear her anger. "We're not the same. I can't just bare my heart like that in front of you. I just needed time to think, but no ! Shinji Ikari just had to selfishly come and demand that we talked ! So let me grant your wish, Third Child. You piss me off ! And you can't possibly believe that I would fall into your arms because you decided to barge into my room yet again. You cannot be that stupid !" Her voice had raised, so she took a few calming breaths before muttering "I don't want to need you..."



Shinji dropped his head and whispered "I'm sorry" before leaving and going to his room.



She regretted her outburst as soon as she started talking. 'Way to go Asuka ! Didn't you mean it when you agreed to be nicer to him earlier ?.. I know he won't take another first step now... I told him that perseverance is power, but I know he will stop eventually. Because of me. Because I keep pushing him away. Because I can't let him close to me. He was already scared of me, now it must be even worse. I have to make him understand that I do nee... That I don't hate him... That I wouldn't mind if he came back to my room tonight...'



With that, she took a pen and a piece of paper and hastily wrote something, as if it would lessen what she was doing in her mind. She didn't dare to face him, which was very unlike her, she thought, so it seemed like the best thing to do. She then quietly went to Shinji's door and tried to slip the note under. She then started to cursing in German at how unpractical Japanese doors were in this particular situation. She eventually opened his door very slightly, just enough to slip the note through, before quickly going back to her room and closing her door. She sat on her bed, looking at it expectantly, almost pleadingly.



Shinji's attention had been drawn by the noises he heard at his door, and he was about to open it when he saw a note falling at his feet. Picking it up, he unfolded it and read its contents. On the paper were shaky and hesitant kanjis.



"Be patient with me please"



He folded the note, and put it on his desk. Then he went back to Asuka's room.

 

[E.D.C.]

And here's chapter 3 !

Nothing much had changed in the Katsuragi Residence in the two days which had passed since Asuka and Shinji's altercation. The former still berated the latter on a more or less hourly basis, and kept voicing her discontent between those times. Shinji was still the housebroken teenager he had always been, and their guardian was still punishing her liver, one beer at a time. The only thing noticeable was that the Children seemed to be in a better mood. It was barely perceptible, but it was there. Shinji didn't cower as much as he used to when Asuka shouted at him, and she was less insulting, having switched to more general than personal attacks.



Shinji had always felt concerned by Misato's drinking habit. He cared a lot about her, of course. She was the first person in a very long time who showed genuine affection for him. And he felt conflicted, because for now, he was glad that she was always at least tipsy when she was home, for if she wasn't, she might have seen how he and Asuka looked at each other sometimes, how he had furiously blushed at the time when she stormed inside the living room with just a towel to cover her, and how she blushed as well when she saw that. Her bath was indeed too hot, but it wasn't only because of that that she came into the living room. She had, maybe only unconsciously, wanted him to see her like this. She could have just shouted from the bathroom.



When Shinji came back to Asuka's room two days ago, he had been surprised to see her give him one of her all too few in his opinion genuine smile with gleaming eyes. And when he had laid down beside her, he had been utterly astonished when she laid her head on his chest and put her hand on the side of his neck gently, her arm resting on his chest as well. After some hesitation, he had hugged her back and they had talked. They decided two things together there and then. First, that this would be their new sleeping arrangement for the foreseeable future. Asuka had made a point not to leave him with any choice, but Shinji, In a bolder mood than usual, had acquiesced firmly, to her great delight. Second, that they would not talk about it to anyone. Being Eva pilots meant that nothing in their life was secret. That even their most private thoughts, pains, traumas or few joys were known by others, not leaving them any choice in the matter. But this was different, this was one thing they shared. That belonged only to them. That nobody had to know, or more precisely, that nobody known. At least for now. So they promised each other that they would not tell anyone nor show anyone that they were... Together ? They had not talked about that. They slept in the same bed, in each other's arms. That was enough. The added benefit to Asuka was that she had to keep on chastising him for every little things he did that annoyed her.



.



.



Misato was standing in the Pribnow Box, her arms crossed. She was looking out the window idly at the Test Plugs, not focusing on anything, not paying attention to the voice in the PA system.



B-type harmonics test, all green. Projected adjustment values have been cleared.



She was snapped back to this world by a voice directly addressing her.



"You look tired, Misato." Makoto Hyuga stated with as little concern as he allowed himself to express while inquiring about his commanding officer's state. Everyone in the room knew that he was attracted to her, and he was well aware of that, but he didn't want to display it openly regardless of that fact.



"Yeah, for a lot of private reasons." Misato answered with a reassuring smile, glad for his interest in her well-being. She had taken advantage of his feelings for her personal gain in the last few months, but she had decided to stop giving him false hopes some weeks back. She had been even more comforted in her decision by what happened between her and Kaji when they left the wedding they attended with Ritsuko.



"Kaji ?" Ritsuko couldn't pass the opportunity to tease her oldest friend.



"Shut up !" Misato snapped back vehemently, not wishing to dwell on the issue in the middle of a sync test. "Well, how's the Third Child doing ?" she asked, turning back to the window and restoring her neutral expression as if her sudden outburst never occurred.



"Take a look." Maya Ibuki answered with a slight smile.



"Let me see... That's great, both Asuka and Shinji have increased their sync ratio. And Shinji has the highest score ! I hope that knowing this will boost his confidence." Opening a direct communication to Test Plug 01, she added "Can you hear me, Shinji ?



Shinji blinked after opening his eyes as Misato's question broke his concentration.



"Misato, how were my test scores ?" He asked expectantly. He was in a great mood, he had been since he had shared his story with Asuka.



"Yes ! You are number one !" Misato answered, filling him even more with joy. But it didn't last long, as he knew it meant that he beat her. He knew that she wouldn't be happy. He knew how important being the best was for her. His first place left as a consequence a bittersweet taste in his mouth, much more bitter than sweet.



When the test ended, he went back to the apartment by himself. He left as quickly as possible so he wouldn't have to face Asuka. 'She must hate me right now. She probably doesn't want me anywhere near her.' "I'm sorry." He muttered to himself, a hollow smile on his face with these words. He knew that it would be even worse if he was to apologize to her face to face. So he sat there, at the back of the bus, completely oblivious to the outside world.



.



.



In the female pilots locker room, Asuka fumed.



"I lost ! He beat us so easily. He beat us so easily that it's pissing me off !" She was shouting and making grand gestures to vent out her anger while Rei was quietly putting on her school uniform.



"He's great, wonderful, awesome, too awesome ! The Invincible Shinji ! So that makes our job a little easier, right ?" She didn't even hear Rei closing her locker behind her as she continued shouting. "But it also means we'll have to do our best to not be left behind !"



"Goodbye." Rei said on the threshold, as expressionless as ever. But as soon as the door closed, Asuka stopped talking. She sat on the bench behind her. Part of her outburst had been in order to keep her persona in front of the others, but she was truly angry at Shinji. Very angry in fact. So she sat on the bench and started thinking. She was confused, and she hated that.



.



.


There hadn't been an Angel attack in a long time, so Misato had had time to catch up on her paperwork. It was a very good thing because she wanted to be there for her charges. She knew that the mood wouldn't be pleasant, but she wanted Shinji to know that she would protect him from their roommate's wrath, and she wanted Asuka to know that she was there if she wanted to talk, to sit in silence or anything that she would have wanted to do.



As she predicted, dinner had been tense. Asuka kept silent the whole time, frowning as in deep thoughts, or contained raged, she couldn't be sure, but the latter seemed more likely to her. Shinji had tried to keep silent, but couldn't force himself to ignore Misato so he answered her questions and conversations attempts with as few words as he could. When he went to the bathroom, Misato decided it was the right moment.



"You know, it was just a sync test. Don't you go and..."



"Save it !" Asuka interrupted her, not as harshly as Misato was expecting. 'Did it hit her that bad ?' Misato asked herself. "... But I appreciate it." Asuka added, smiling slightly, but genuinely, at her guardian. She knew that Misato cared for her. And the fact that she always seemed to favor Shinji in her eyes didn't change that fact. There were too few that actually cared. She always boasted that she didn't need anyone, but she was glad when someone she deemed worthy actually showed care. "I'm going to bed. Good night." With that, she stood and went to her bedroom.



When Shinji came back a few seconds later, he found Misato standing next to the kitchen table.



"Don't bother with the dishes, I'll do them tomorrow. You should get some sleep. And don't beat yourself up too hard over Asuka. She'll come around, you know her."



'That's because I know her that I'm beating myself up.' "M-maybe."



"You'll see ! You should tell her honestly how you feel about that. It just might cheer her up. I'm going to bed, good night, Shin-Chan !"



"Good night." Shinji followed Misato to the living room, switching the lights off on the way, then went to his room. After closing his door, he sighed. He had decided not to go to Asuka's room this night. 'I'll leave her alone tonight, she's upset because of me, going to her room will only...' His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his door sliding open.



"What are you doing here ? Come." Asuka demanded in a whisper so as not to attract attention from their other roommate. Shinji followed her and laid on her bed next to her when she ordered him to. She nestled herself against him, as she had been doing for the last nights. It was convenient for her because he couldn't see her face.



"I was selected to become a pilot when I was four. I was so happy, so proud, but it didn't last long..." She started talking and immediately paused. She had decided she would talk to him, that she would try to make him understand, but it was harder than she imagined.



"Why ?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. He felt her tense, her arm tightening around him.



"Don't ask. What's important is that I devoted myself to being the best. I was selected to be an elite Eva Pilot. The Second Child. My mission was to save to world ! I promised myself I'd be the best, a hero to be praised !.." She paused for a second, Shinji, understanding that it was difficult for her, gently rubbed her back. If it was for his gesture or not, he didn't know, but she continued. "That's why I resented you when we first met. It took me years of training to reach the sync rate you had when you first sortied..." Her words were harsh in Shinji's ears, but her tone wasn't. 'She's just stating the facts.' he thought, not daring to interrupt her. "And I'm mad at you for having beaten me today... But not as much as I should be, I think. Because I know you don't do it intentionally. I know you don't like piloting. You really are an idiot !" Her tone carried more emotions now. But she wasn't insulting him like she used to. "You know, if I'm telling you all this right now, it's because of you.



"What do you mean ?"



"When you told me about..." She stopped herself, not wanting to bring back the subject of his mother so bluntly. "When we talked... Good things happened... So I figured that maybe I could talk to you. That's what you wanted, right ?" She added that last part in an angrier tone. Opening up was still difficult, so was letting her guard down. Or less up, to be exact.



"Thank you" He answered in a whisper.



"But still. Having you beat me without even trying... It's as if everything I did was useless..." 'That I am useless'. "If I'm not the best..."



"B-but you are the best !" Shinji cut her, trying to sound confident. His stuttering didn't convey this idea, though.



"Don't rub it in, Third Child." Asuka was starting to get angry.



"I-I'm not ! S-sure, I beat you today in this test" He was starting to get really scared as he saw and felt her tense dangerously. In this position, he wouldn't last a minute against her. In any position, to be exact. "But you're still the best pilot !" he blurted out "Your technique is much better, your knowledge, your confidence, and your style, you move so graciously... In combat" He quickly added, blushing. "Our sync rate doesn't mean anything ! I can't do half of what you can do with your Eva !



"Damn right baka !" His little pep talk had worked. She felt a little better, she wasn't useless, and she would show them all ! "And don't you dare think that you won ! I'll beat you back ! And if you want to be first again, you'll have to work for it, Invincible Shinji !"



"Invincible Shinji ?" He asked, surprised at the epithet.



"I might have found you a new nickname after the sync test. I was a little angry..." She said in a soft tone. She hugged him a little tighter, and he did the same. "Thank you, Shinji."



She shuffled a little against him, finding a better position before letting his heartbeat lull her to sleep.



.



.



Try as he might, Shinji had a hard time focusing. He had always been scared when going into battle before, but it had never been this much. He was utterly terrified. Before, he didn't have anything to lose. He had always been scared of dying, of course, but it was nothing compared to the idea of losing Asuka. He never thought he could have been even more scared than when he had been thrown into the robot to fight his first battle. 'She's too careless... And I know some day she'll get hurt. She has almost died already ! I can't let that happen !' His hand was clenching and unclenching as it usually done when he was in that kind of situations.



"Can you all here me ? Misato said through the pilots' radios. " I've sent you all of the target's data. This is all we know right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reactions, and, if possible, lure it outside of the city limits. Two of you will back up the other, got that ?" Everyone nodded, as everyone listened intently. "Asuka, you're the most trained in combat, and since you insisted on taking an axe, you'll...



"I'll do it." Shinji cut her through the radio, his face on the Command center monitor showed nothing except for determination. When he was in his entry plug, he was always overtaken by this sense of determination, as if he indeed was invincible. As if the Eva would protect him against everything. He knew Asuka wouldn't like what he was about to say, or the reason why he was going to say it, that is, if he ever got to tell her, but he couldn't let her rush the Angel as she usually did. "I have the highest sync ratio, you said it yourself Misato : "You are number one !""



"Now hold on a second Third Child." Asuka's face appeared on his left in his cockpit, she didn't look happy. "You heard the Major, don't stand in my way." Her eyes were positively blazing.



Shinji couldn't let her take the point back, he had to protect her, even if it meant saying things that would clearly piss her off. Knowing her as he did, he knew perfectly how to trigger some reactions, especially the hostile ones. "I'll show you how it ought to be done, Asuka."



"What was that ?" Asuka couldn't believe her ears 'After all he said to me yesterday he dares to tell me something like this ? I'm so gonna chew him up once this is over.'



"Combat is a man's job after all." He cut his communications right after that last sentence and willed his Evangelion forward. He wasn't proud of this exchange, especially his last sentence, but he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind for now. When he saw the giant form of the Angel above, he almost lost his determination.



The Angel didn't look very threatening, and its actions since it appeared reinforced this impression. It looked like a perfect sphere, hovering harmlessly over Tokyo-3, seemingly doing nothing. Its surface was covered with black and white markings with no apparent pattern. At some places the markings were straight, but most of them were curved. Some thicker than the others. It looked like it had been stitched out from various patches that didn't quite go together. Some shapes on its surface looked disturbingly like eyes without pupils. Shinji didn't know if they actually were its eyes. He couldn't make anything of the sphere before him, except for a sense of foreboding... He knew from experience not to mess with an Angel which looked like a geometrical shape. His thoughts were cut short by a voice in his radio.



"In position." Rei said calmly. She was the furthest away from the Angel, her Eva's back against a building and its left foot on an other in front of her. She was pointing a sniper rifle at the center of the Angel with deadly precision, studying it through her scope.



"Almost there." Asuka answered. She had fallen behind because she had had to change her umbilical cable, the one she had started with having been to short to zigzag through the city's buildings.



Since they had no strategy, Shinji decided that he would probe the Angel's reactions with some well-aimed bullets. Looking behind him, he saw the shape of Unit 02 coming into his view only to disappear behind another building seconds after. She was going to hide behind another building not too far from his own. 'Of course she had to be close ! Then again she wouldn't have been very effective from far away with her axe.' Shinji thought with some resentment. 'Guess I'll have to draw its attacks then.'



"In position." Asuka whispered, as if the Angel would have heard her. Shinji looked into her eyes on his screen. She looked back at him with an angry frown... Not only because of the Angel. He nodded. She nodded back.



Shinji then leapt out of cover and fired three times at the sphere... Which vanished. At the same time, a shadow appeared under Unit 01's feet, and the Evangelion started to sink inside. Shinji shouted in his Entry Plug. "Asuka ! Don't stay in the shadow !"



Asuka, seeing the black void expand close to her made her Eva jump and climb the building she used as cover.



"Shinji, get out of there ! Shinji ?" Misato's panicked voice didn't reach his ears though, as he kept looking at the black and white sphere in terror.



"Ikari !" Rei said in a worried tone which nobody registered.



"Baka, what are you doing ?" Asuka shouted. Her voice finally breaking him out of his trance. "Asuka ! Misato ! Ayanami !" His terrified screams filled her with terror. She reached the top of her building and jumped from one to the other as fast as she could until she grabbed Unit 01's forearm."Shinji ! I got you !" Mustering all her strength, she managed to make Unit 01 rise a little.



"No ! Go away !" Despite his fear, he still wanted her not to be harmed no matter what the cost. "Get to safety !"



"You think I'm gonna leave now ? What are you, stupid ? Did you leave when I was falling in that volcano ? Now help me and climb !" Both of them pulled with all their strength and Unit 01 kept on rising, albeit slowly. Its progress reversed quickly, however, when the building on which Unit 02 was started to sink as well. Asuka pulled harder, her arm straining painfully, but Shinji's Eva kept on sinking. "Let go Asuka ! You don't have a choice now !" Shinji was scared but he tried to hide it, so that she would actually accept. "I'll be okay."



"Asuka..." Misato joined the conversation. Her voice was low, but with such authority that no one could have argued with her. "Retreat... That's an order... You too, Rei."



Shinji nodded to her as calmly as he could and smiled as much as he could, given the circumstances. "I'll be okay." he repeated in a whisper, before easing his Eva's grip. Asuka reluctantly let go, but kept her eyes locked on his as his Eva disappeared into the shadow. When its horn finally disappeared, so did Shinji's image in her cockpit.



Rei had watched everything from a distance, her face devoid of any expression, or so it seemed. She was concerned for Shinji's safety. So she had pushed her Eva forward without having been given the order, having discarded her sniper rifle before rushing through the buildings towards the edge of the shadow. She abruptly stopped when she heard her commanding officer's order to retreat.



Asuka stayed still a few seconds, gathering her thoughts before making her Eva jump on another building, then another... She had cut all communications so that nobody would mess with her focus. And also to hide her own face, as she was unable to hide her emotions at the moment. 'He has not abandoned me ! He will come back ! He told me he was going to be okay ! He can't abandon me. He can't...' She jumped on a more than half sunk building which rocked with the impact. Surprised, Asuka lost her balance. She gripped at its edge, but as she struggled to climb back on the building's roof, it shifted like a sinking concrete raft on a sea of darkness. She was trapped. She couldn't do anything to escape the shadow that was quickly engulfing the building as well as her Eva, so she stopped struggling altogether and let her Eva sink before the shocked eyes of the whole crew inside the Command center and the desperate screams of Misato, who had a communication forcibly restored with Asuka's Entry plug.

 

[E.D.C.]

Hey ! I'm back !

And I've got a new chapter so there you go !

As always every feedback is appreciated ! It's my first time writing something like this, and I'm not a native English speaker so everything will help !




Asuka had accepted her fate when the last patch of red of her Eva disappeared into the Shadow. She had been surprised, and relieved, as a consequence, to see that she wasn't dead. Her military training instinctively kicked in. She ran a series of tests. She first saw that she could move her Eva's limbs, even though walking didn't seem to achieve anything. She then tried to see if her sensors and radars could pick up anything... Nothing. She cut the power off her Eva and initialized the life support systems. 4'22. Roughly 13 hours until her Eva's life support would fail. Hesitantly, almost reluctantly, she pushed the button on her butterfly handle to open a communication window.



"... Shinji ?.. Can you hear me ?.." She asked calmly. When she didn't get an answer though, she snapped 'That idiot ! He can get an A on a test but not in the real world ! And what do I do ? I go after him like a goddamn amateur ! That's just great !' "Shinji ! You goddamn coward ! That's all your fault ! And believe me, I'm gonna kick your ass once we get out of here !" She shouted at her radio, with a hint of hope that the threat, no, the promise would at least make him squirm. At least she wouldn't feel as alone then... But for right now, she felt far more furious than alone. 'That jerk !'



.



.



Shinji looked at the blinding white landscape before him in awe for some time. 'Am I inside the Angel ? Am I dead ?' He paused. 'At least I managed to protect Asuka. Now that they know what the Angel can do, Misato will find a plan to exterminate it... And I'm still alive, maybe they'll save me too. I'm sorry Asuka'



He tried his sonars and radars to no avail. He tried to reach someone, anyone. If only to let them know he was still alive. To let her know. He wanted her to know. He still wasn't sure of what she felt towards him, but he knew that she would like to know. He remembered her eyes before he vanished. 'Was she scared for me ? She seemed scared of losing me. I think... I... Hope ?' He put these selfish thoughts aside and went back to his immediate reality. 'I should activate life support. If there's a chance that they save me, all I can do is give them as much time as possible.' He reasoned, activating it. '4'38, that's 14 hours, give or take. I'll die in 14 hours. I don't want to die, I want to see her again. I owe her an apology.'



.



.



Asuka opened her eyes slowly, as if she did not want to acknowledge the situation. She didn't want to be in her entry-plug. It was the first time she could recall that she ever felt that way. Even when she spent hours and hours training, she always liked being in there.



"Scheiß !" She couldn't stand it. She didn't feel the usual comfort and warmth she was used to anymore. Suddenly, she had trouble breathing. She felt as if the LCL was burning her throat and lungs.



"Let me out !" She shouted at the top of her lungs before slamming the button to synchronize with her Eva. She then started to scream furiously in English, German and Japanese as she lashed out with her Eva, trying to grab onto something... Anything to rip out, stomping and punching the "ground" she believed she was standing on. She projected her AT-field in various directions, trying to find an opening, or create one, to slice the Angel from the inside. Destroy it and be free of this coffin.



She quickly stopped when she realized what she was doing and immediately turned off her Eva. Her outburst hadn't lasted long but it had been enough to drain a significant amount of the precious energy stored in her internal batteries.

"Why did I do that ? I just doomed myself... Maybe that's better. Better to die sooner rather than later, waiting for my end for excruciating hours. I doubt that Wondergirl will be able to perform a miracle. And the only one... No, that's not true. One of the only ones who would have honestly mourned me will die here as well. He will... Die... With me."



The thought terrified her, so she squeezed her eyes shut to try to make the memories go away. She forced herself to think about other things. It always more or less worked when she focused hard enough. And right now, she needed to. She went back to her training, to her life in Germany when she was under Kaji's care and finally drifted back to that night when Shinji and her slept in her bed. The comfort she didn't even know she needed she received when in his arms. Their kiss. These managed to calm her mind so she clung to them as she tried once again to fall asleep.



.



.



Shinji initialized Unit 01 and ran his scans. He didn't count how many times he did them since getting trapped but he felt uneasy. Each time he hoped that he would get an answer, or see something different. Or catch something on his radars.



"Asuka ?.. Misato ?.. Ayanami ?.." His voice remained calm, tainted with some kind of resignation.



"I still have 10 hours left." It would have been more if he hadn't drained his internal batteries with these -too frequent- scans. "I'm hungry. I wish I could cook something for us again..." Shinji imagined himself back to the apartment, sharing a nice dinner that he would have prepared for the three of them to enjoy. Maybe a German meal...



.



.



"The LCL is becoming murky. The filtration system's power is running out. A few more hours and I won't have enough oxygen. My breathing will become shallower and shallower. The LCL will bring me less and less oxygen. I'll become lightheaded, and tired, and finally I'll go to sleep. Forever."



Stating what she had learned during her training in Germany helped her in no way, but it kept her mind busy. She had spent most of her time trapped in her entry plug sleeping, but she was still tired. She just couldn't keep her eyes opened. "Maybe it'll be sooner than expected." she didn't bother anymore to keep her thoughts inside her head. "Maybe I'll be asleep when the time will come." She finally said before drifting back to sleep.



.



.



Night had fallen over Tokyo-3, so the temporary command center had to be illuminated with construction lamps. Ritsuko was standing before a dozen NERV employees, among them were Misato and Rei. Behind her was a white board with black patterns and writing in several languages. It looked like Ritsuko was a teacher and the others were her students, had it not been for their NERV uniforms.



"So that shadow is actually the Angel's body ?" Misato asked bewildered. She wasn't sure that she had understood everything right.



"Correct." Ritsuko answered. "It's six hundred eighty meters in diameter. With a thickness of three nanometers. Sustained within that ultra-thin space is an inverted AT-field." She kept on stating the facts she had gleamed from her researches in the past hours. "Abstract mathematics defines the region within as a Sea of Dirac. It could be connected to another universe." She said this last sentence with some kind of fascination, which would have frightened Misato if her mind had not been clouded with worry.



"What about the sphere ?" Misato asked while raising her hand.



"It disappears when the imaginary circuit of the body closes. The object in the sky is only a shadow." Ritsuko answered again. Misato wasn't facing her anymore. She had turned her head in order to look at the black and white sphere which was still floating over Tokyo-3. It's top was dark, but the bottom was lit with the same lamps which were used at the temporary command center.



"So the black shadow that swallowed Units 01 and 02 is the target." Misato stated downcast. "What can we do against it ?"



Rei was leaning against a NERV truck, a bit behind everyone else. She was paying attention to what was being said, but she was also thinking about her fellow pilots. A very subtle hint of worry could be seen on her face.



.



.



When Asuka opened her eyes, she was not in her entry-plug anymore. Surprised, she looked around her. She was standing in front of a window, which gave a view of a fairly small room. On the opposite wall was another large window, the light shining through the venetian blinds indicated her that it led to the exterior. On the far left corner, there was a plant that she couldn't identify on a nightstand, and right next to it, at the center of the room, was a bed. There was someone on it. A small girl in a dark dress with long red hair. The light from the window, and the fact that her head was low made it so Asuka couldn't see her features, but she knew who she was. She also recognized the hospital room.



What the... ?"



"You are afraid of death ?" said the silhouette on the bed. She wasn't moving. She didn't seem to be even breathing.



"I am Asuka Langley Soryu ! I'm not afraid of anything !" Asuka quickly answered.



"You are afraid of death ?" The silhouette's tone changed a little, becoming more affirmative.



"I'm a soldier ! I know that each time I go to combat can be the last !"



"You are afraid of death." The silhouette wasn't asking anymore.



"I'm thirteen ! Of course I'd rather have as much time as possible, but I accepted the possibility of dying when I became a Pilot !" Asuka was becoming more and more desperate. She didn't understand the situation and those five words seemed more powerful each time they were uttered.



"You are afraid of death !" The silhouette seemed to be almost mocking her now.



"... I don't want to die." Asuka answered in a whisper, with tears in her eyes.



"You are afraid of death."



"..." She didn't answer. Instead, she focused on the few good things in her life. Living with Misato, even if she was the sloppiest human being on Earth, she was the big sister she never had. The time she spent with Kaji in Germany, and how good he had been to her, how he helped her during this time. Hikari, her best friend, even when she didn't deserve it. Her Eva, and how proud she was of being a pilot. How comfortable and warm she always felt in her entry-plug. Exactly like with Shinji. She felt good in his arms. And she was happier since that night. He was too, she could see it, when they were together they were able to stave off their respective demons... She liked his cooking too, even if she never...



"If you had died with her all these years ago, you wouldn't have experienced all this pain." The silhouette interrupted her thoughts. This sentence hit her like a ton of bricks, all her bad memories coming back to her at once, drowning all her previous recollections. She had considered the idea on some occasions, when her sorrow was almost too much to bear, but she had learned to live for herself.



"Now you are going to die alone... With him. So close yet too far away." The silhouette raised her head with an insane smile. Her face was the incarnation of madness. The dream vanished in front of Asuka's eyes but this face, her own face, was carved in her mind.



"I don't want to die alone." Tears now mixed with the murky LCL as Asuka couldn't help but cry. She put her arms around her knees and curled into a ball.



"... Shinji..."



.



.



"Who's that ?" A voice very similar to Shinji's asked.



The alarm of a railroad gate could be heard, approaching then getting further away.



"Who ?.." Shinji repeated, a bit surprised. He didn't seem to have realized that he was not in his entry-plug anymore, or maybe he didn't care. He was now sitting in a rail coach. It was dusk, or dawn, he didn't know about that. All he knew was that the sun was low on the horizon and that it bathed the whole car in an orange light. It shone directly in front of him. Across from him, on the bench on the other side, was the silhouette of a small child that Shinji couldn't see clearly, the sun hitting it from behind. The train didn't seem to be moving, yet Shinji could clearly hear the sound of the wheels against the rails.



Shinji Ikari." The voice answered without inflection.



"That's me." Shinji retorted, a little surprised.



"I am you. This self incorporates another self. The self has always been composed of two selves."



"Two ?" Shinji didn't quite understand what the voice was saying.



"Yes, the self which is observed and the self which observes itself. To expound, the Shinji Ikari that exists in your mind is only one Shinji Ikari. There's also the Shinji Ikari in Misato Katsuragi's mind, The Shinji Ikari in Asuka Soryu's mind, the Shinji Ikari in Rei Ayanami's mind and the Shinji Ikari in Gendo Ikari's mind. All are different Shinji Ikari, but each of them is a true Shinji Ikari." The silhouette, the Shinji in the others' mind, explained as he would have told a child. "Your fear is of the Shinji Ikari who exists in the minds of others." It stated, as if it knew exactly how Shinji's mind worked.



"I'm just afraid of being hated." Shinji answered, dumbfounded by the truth behind the silhouette's words. Images of people flashed before his eyes. Ideas which were forced into his mind. Toji punching him while Kensuke explained that Toji's sister was injured during the fight with the Third Angel. Misato yelling at him because he had refused to fall back during the Fourth Angel. His father telling him harshly to go away.



"No, I don't want to hear this !" The sensation was strange. Shinji couldn't clearly identify which of his senses was used.



"You're afraid of being hurt. That's why you always run from reality. No one can justify life by linking happy moments into a rosary. In particular, I cannot." The silhouette said, implying that Shinji himself couldn't.



"I've found someone that makes me happy. Someone who is happy with me !" The previous images were replaced by images of Asuka. Their week of sync training. Her smile when he saved her life in Mount Asama. The warmth of her body when they hugged. The absolute bliss he felt when they kissed. The sheer perfection of seeing her sleeping peacefully in his arms.



"Are you really happy with her ?" The silhouette taunted. "Is she ? Does she even like you ? Or like to spend time with you ?" As it kept on harassing Shinji with questions, it started to change. It was growing bigger, taller, with long red hair and a red outfit. Its smile was nefarious and its eyes full of hatred. "Maybe I'm just using you. Like your father." Its voice had changed as well.



"How is that possible ? How can you become her ? Is she here as well ?" Shinji was oscillating between fear and rage as he waited for the silhouette to answer.



"She joined us a few seconds after you."



With these words, Shinji understood what the silhouette really was. "NO ! Don't you dare hurt her ! I won't let you ! Release us !" In an instant, Shinji didn't care about what was happening, his mind was filled with rage and determination. The train vanished as if the Angel withdrew, taking with it a hallucination. Now back in his entry-plug, he synchronized with his Evangelion and let all his wrath free. He was breathing heavily, his heart was racing. He used all his Eva's remaining power in vain and continued shaking the butterfly handles after the internal timer reached 0:00, shouting and screaming and begging for it to move. He started to cry. "I have to save her... Please ! I don't care if I die, I just want her to be safe."



Just when he was about to accept his and Asuka's fate, a white silhouette, as if it were made of light, appeared in front of him and floated towards him, cupping his cheek in her right hand before hugging him.



"Mother ?" He asked before the pressure of the LCL seemed to increase. He wasn't sure that this was true, but he couldn't help but feel lightheaded. The last thing he heard before he passed out was a muffled roar.



.



.



All that Asuka managed now was a state of half consciousness at best. Her body and mind were numb, her breathing shallow. Her plug suit still gave her some life support, since it still had more than half its energy reserve, but it couldn't do much against the lack of oxygen.



She slowly and tiredly opened her eyes to take in her surroundings. She couldn't see far, the LCL was too turbid now. She could barely discern her butterfly handles. She couldn't even see her own feet now. She had stopped curling into a ball, it took her way too much energy just holding her legs with her arms, so she sat back on her entry-plug's memory foam chair. 'So that's it.' Thinking was getting hard for her but it was one of the only things she kept forcing her to do just to ensure herself that she wasn't dead yet. 'I'm gonna die here... That's anticlimactic. I would have hoped to die fighting like a soldier... Or of old age, worshiped like a hero... I hope Shinji makes it out of here... He'll be better off without me anyway. I'm just a pathetic little girl. I'm a failure, that's why everyone abandoned me. It's my fault, not theirs... I hope he'll survive.'



"You've been one of the few lights in my life Shinji." she said in ragged breaths. "I'll be forever grateful for that." She paused, reflecting on how much she cared for the boy. She would have shed a tear if her eyes had been opened. The LCL made it awkward and unpleasant to talk, but she still had some things she wanted to say out loud, even if her voice wasn't much more than a whisper.



"Thank you, Shinji. See you soon, Mama."



With her fading consciousness she failed to notice the tremors around her. Her Eva had been trembling for the past minute or so. She hadn't even noticed the ear-splitting noises and inhuman roars outside.



.



.



"A forced Eva salvage ?" Misato wanted to know about the plan Ritsuko came up with, but she knew something was wrong as soon as she heard how it had been phrased.



"It's the only possibility that might work." Answered the doctor. "We would drop all 992 existing N2 mines into its center, while simultaneously activating the AT Field of the other Eva, disrupting the circuit enclosing the Angel's pocket interior. If we concentrate enough power into the same microsecond, we might destroy the Angel and the Dirac Sea that makes it up." She managed to say without giving away how much she hated the idea. She was able to hide her true feelings thanks to -or because of- the time she had spent working with Commander Ikari. It always made it easier for her to think about the big picture.



"But the damage to the Evas would be... Shinji and Asuka wouldn't... What kind of rescue operation is this ?" Misato was getting angrier and angrier at each word pronounced by her friend.



"This operation's priority is to recover the Evas themselves. That the bodies may be damaged or destroyed has no bearing." Ritsuko replied coldly.



Misato couldn't control herself anymore. Ritsuko just told her that her pilots were completely expendable. The only thing important to her seemed to be the Eva. She couldn't believe her ears. Her head was spinning. There were too many things she didn't know about the Evas, but that wasn't important at the moment. "Now wait a second !" She snapped back at her.



As if on cue, the Shadow which constituted the body of the Angel started to crackle and break apart in a deafening noise. A red liquid erupted from the freshly opened wounds. The whole body of the Angel was bleeding.



"What's happening ? Could it be..."



Misato was interrupted by Ritsuko "Impossible ! It would take an enormous amount of energy to break through ! Neither of the Evangelions are capable of this !"



The next thing they saw proved her wrong. The black and white sphere hovering over Tokyo 3 turned black as a red arm pierced through it in a fountain of blood. Then another. The arms tore a hole in the sphere, revealing two glowing white eyes. Eva-01 pushed itself halfway out of the sphere before howling its superiority over its fallen foe. The sphere, not able to sustain itself in the air anymore, exploded in a rain of bloody parts and gore. Unit-01 landed on the ground in that rain of blood. At the same time, Unit-02 crashed face first close to it on the asphalt.



"My God, what kind of monster have we copied from ?" Ritsuko asked nobody in particular. She was too transfixed by the sight of the howling Evangelion before her eyes.



Misato heard her and filed this information for later use. For now, she was too impatient to see how her charges were to think about anything else. She took her phone and called the command center "Eject the entry-plugs and send recovery teams ASAP !" She ordered while running to see her pilots for herself.



.



.



AN : Well, this was tough to write ! Sorry for the cliffhanger. It wasn't my intention to finish the chapter at this point, but it got bigger than I thought, so I chose to cut it into two parts. The good news is that the next chapter is well underway and should come relatively quickly !



Thanks for reading !

 

[E.D.C.]

Hey !

Here's the new chapter ! As I said I had most of it already done when I decided to divide the previous one into two, so enjoy ! And thanks for reading !




When Asuka regained consciousness, the first thing she saw was white. A blinding white overwhelming her. She had to blink several times to adjust to the light. It wasn't intense, but after spending such a long time in almost complete darkness, it was as blinding to her as looking directly at the sun.



When she managed to see where she was, her first reaction was to scream at the top of her lungs. The face of a nurse appeared a few seconds later, framed in the porthole in front of Asuka's face.



"Good. You're awake. You suffered from minor oxygen deprivation, we had to put you in a hyperbaric chamber to help you recover. It won't...



She was interrupted by a very angry redhead, and neither the oxygen mask she wore nor the metal of the diving chamber muffled her ire.



"And who the hell is the genius who thought that this would be a good idea ?" The poor nurse was transfixed, she couldn't even blink as she stayed looking at her patient and persecutor through the porthole. "Gott ! And you tied me up ?!" She tried moving her arms and legs, which were tightly restrained with straps attached to her metal "bed". "I just spent Gott knows how long in a metal tube, I almost died in there and where am I now ? In a goddamn metal tube ! Do you want me to become claustrophobic ? Open this right now and untie me !"



When she saw an opening, Ritsuko spoke. "I'm the one responsible for this. We had to..." She struggled a few seconds to vulgarize what she had in mind. "make sure you had enough oxygen in your organism." She was looking at Asuka's vital signs monitor. "I can see that you're not suffering from anything too serious, we can get you back to a regular hospital room."



"If I don't have anything serious, I want to go back home ! I hate this place." Asuka retorted dryly.



"It would be wiser to stay here on observation." Ritsuko said as she typed the opening sequence of the hyperbaric chamber on its small keyboard and then started to release Asuka from her restraints.



"I live with the goddamn Major of NERV. Not to mention another pilot." She snarled when uttering this last word. She was still a bit mad at Shinji, but she really wanted to see him right now. She just did it so nobody would suspect that. "I'm sure that if I have something, anything wrong, Baka Shinji will give me a piggy back ride right to the hospital. Probably using the opportunity to cop a feel ! That pervert !"



Ritsuko sighed "Alright. I guess you can go home. Furthermore, if anything happened to you, the Section 2 team guarding you could get you back here faster than Shinji. But be careful. I'm going to call Misato. We'll have your clothes brought here, then you can wait for her at the reception desk." With that, she took her cellphone and left the room.



.



.



After a rather awkward and quite long bear hug, Asuka and Misato went to the latter's car. On the way home, Misato told her charge how the Angel died and what happened afterwards. She decided against telling her what the "plan" Ritsuko came up with to get rid of the Angel was though.



"I spent two days in that coffin ?! Gott that doctor hates me !" Asuka angrily said.



'You don't even know the half of it.' Misato thought before answering in her usual overly-cheerful-in-order-to-hide-something tone. "More like a day and a half. It was almost dawn when the Angel got destroyed." She shuddered when recalling the gruesome scene. "And it's almost 5. And you know it was for your own good. Oxygen deprivation can be pretty serious. Anyway, I still have a lot of paperwork so I'm just dropping you home, Shinji's already there, he'll take care of you."



"As if I needed someone to take care of me !" Asuka haughtily answered, then she saw an opportunity. "How's the idiot anyway ?"



"Even more down than usual. He wasn't injured or anything during the battle, but I thinks he was worried about you. I'm sure that seeing you will cheer him up."



Asuka didn't answer, but smiled to herself. They went the rest of the way back home in silence. Misato left just after dropping Asuka in the parking lot, but not before teasingly saying "Don't do anything I wouldn't do !" which made her redheaded ward blush.



When she entered the apartment, she was greeted by the pleasant smell of Shinji's cooking, and a few seconds later, by the sight of Shinji himself who was now just standing at the opposite end of the entryway, wearing an apron, looking at her with teary eyes. They looked at each other for a few agonizing seconds, every bit of anger she still felt towards him vanishing in that instant.



They then almost jumped at each other in unison and kissed. For the second time. And it was more passionate, more desperate because of how worried, how relieved and how happy they were to see each other. Shinji was crying tears of joy and they were both clinging to each other as for dear life, not daring to let go. After not long enough according to both of them, they broke the kiss. Asuka wiped Shinji's tears with her hands, and kept them there, cupping his cheeks. He was still holding her, his hands on her back.



"I'm sorry..." He said between sobs "I was so scared I lost you. They wouldn't let me see you when you were extracted from your entry-plug. Nobody told me anything... And I couldn't visit you at the hospital... I thought you were..."



"Baka ! I'm fine ! I'm the Great Asuka Langley Soryu ! Don't forget that !" Her gaze dropped, as well as her head right after. "... But I failed... I couldn't save you. You had to save me instead."



"I didn't do anything. When I saw you in... I don't know what it was... A hallucination maybe ?.. When I understood that you were trapped too, I snapped. Then something happened with the Eva and I fainted."



"But I should have been the one to save you ! I'm a soldier ! I've been training for this my whole life ! That's all I am !" Her voice was desperate.



"Stop that !" He surprised her with how harsh his voice was. He was angry. "You are far more than a soldier ! You are the Asuka in Misato's mind, the Asuka in Ayanami's mind, the Asuka in my mind..." He paused, then continued. "I can't say what you are in the others' minds but..." He almost stopped, before adding in a whisper. "You are the most important person in mine..." She was speechless. "Y-you have a college degree, you... You are b-beautiful, and brilliant." He was drawing confidence by looking in her eyes. "And so stubborn that you can do anything that you set your mind to... That's what you are in my mind. And I know I'm right because I believe in you... And I-I ca-care about you."



She kissed him again, with all her passion, she hoped that it would be enough to make him understand what she wasn't ready to say yet. After some time, she looked at him with a smile. "Go finish our dinner ! I'm hungry and I need to take a shower.

.

.

Dinner was almost ready, so Asuka sat down at the kitchen table to wait for her food. She was startled by something brushing her ankle but calmed down when she saw Pen Pen hugging her leg. Even though he was often scared by his newest roommate's outbursts, he had also grown quite fond of her since she moved in, he as a consequence expressed his relief with a "Wark !" before getting a beer and returning to his fridge. They ate in comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other, holding hands at times. As usual, Asuka finished her dinner quickly, but she waited for him to have finished as well before standing up.



"I'm going to take a shower, we'll go to bed after !"



He nodded with red cheeks.



A thought occurred to her then, one that she had while inside the Angel. "Thanks for the food Shinji, it was very good !" She added cheerily, before disappearing inside the bathroom.



Shinji blushed even more as he stood up and did the dishes while waiting for her. He allowed himself a sigh of relief. All the tension of the last days finally leaving him. 'She's okay ! I'm glad !" He waited serenely for her, lounging on the couch, a slight smile never leaving his face.



In "their" bed, they held each other tightly. They knew that Misato wouldn't come back tonight so they enjoyed being together, comforting themselves with each other's warmth. Shinji finally broke the silence.



"I'm so... I shouldn't have told you those things before the battle." He almost apologized, but decided that he would wait this time. He wanted to do it only if it had been really justified.



"Yeah. I was pretty mad at you..." she answered calmly. She was relaxed, her eyes were closed, her ear close to his heart, listening to its soothing rhythmic thumps. She snuggled a bit closer. "Why did you say all this anyway ?"



"I..." He stammered and swallowed hard. He had hoped she wouldn't have pressed the matter. " I wanted to protect you. I was..."



"Excuse me ?" She bolted upright, her calm having already disappeared. "You what ? Who the hell do you think you are ? Who the hell do you think I am ? Do you think I'm just a helpless little girl ? After all you said to me before the battle, you have the guts to humiliate me like that ?" Shinji was paralyzed. He couldn't look her in the eyes. She hadn't been this angry in a long time, relatively speaking. "I'm Asuka Langley Soryu ! The Second Child ! I don't need your protection or your help ! I don't need anyone ! Get out !" She was screaming now "Get out of my room !"



Shinji knew better than to try and reason with her when she was this angry, so he stood up and left, mortified. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he closed the door and went to his room.



.



.



This end to a pleasant evening marked the beginning of a really bad sleepless night for both Children of the Katsuragi residence. Shinji was crushed. Not only had he managed to ruin their reunion, he also managed to hurt Asuka in the process. He was hurt too, of course, but it was completely secondary in his mind. 'I'm so stupid ! I should have never doubted her. I only wanted to protect you, I just wanted you to be safe.'. But the damage was done. He had betrayed her. He picked up his SDAT from his desk and curled into a ball on his bed, listening to his music, tears falling from his eyes and soaking his pillow.



It all had started so well, he had talked to her and told her things he never thought he would have had the courage to say. They kissed. Again. Again he felt her soft lips on his, her usual scent, albeit faint because of her time in the hospital and the entry-plug. Her warmth against him. The electricity he felt throughout his body as their lips met once again. It had been a perfect moment, that's why it felt even worse when it came crashing down because of him.



Of course, if the rational part of his brain had been louder, maybe he would have realized that he had indeed kept her safe. That he had saved her life. That if he hadn't insisted to take point, she would have been the one to attack the Angel, she would have been alone stuck inside and she probably would have been dead right now, one way or the other.



.



.



Anger is an efficient way to stay awake even when tired. Asuka knew that all too well. Hence, she had not been surprised that she couldn't sleep. She was very angry at Shinji, for humiliating her, for belittling her. She had stopped screaming as soon as he had closed her door. She just sat on her bed, breathing heavily, her eyes fixed on nothing in particular, yet not moving. Her mind was boiling with rage.



When she had calmed down, she had tried, and managed, to get some sleep. She knew that her rest hadn't been long though when she woke up sweating heavily because of a nightmare. 'I haven't had any since...' This fact was enough to re-ignite the fire of her fury. 'I don't need him ! I don't need anyone ! I can live for myself !' She had almost managed to convince herself when Misato's recollection of the Angel's death came back to her mind.



"Unit-01 literally tore the Angel apart. There was so much blood."



'He saved my life. Or the Eva. Whatever. I couldn't do anything to break free. My Eva didn't do anything either... I shouldn't have reacted like that. I shouldn't have snapped like I did. It almost killed me in my Eva and now it made Shinji leave. And what he told me... I'm the most important person in his mind ? He cares about me...' Her train of thoughts trailed off as she stood up and changed her shirt. These last thoughts were tipping the scales back in Shinji's favor. She had some thinking to do. She didn't want to go back to sleep anyway. Not if it meant having to suffer through another nightmare.



.

.

Shinji left early in the morning, he didn't want to face Asuka. Since he had barely slept, he woke up earlier than usual to prepare their bentos and left the apartment to wander the streets of Tokyo-3 with his SDAT. He didn't see anything, he didn't hear anything. He was alone, his back bent under the weight of his sorrow. He arrived in class 2-A minutes before the bell rang. He saw that she was there too but didn't even glance at her.. He didn't see her watch him as he sat down. He didn't see how tired she was too.



When the lunch bell rang, he took their bentos from his bag and put Asuka's in a corner of his table, and went as far away from it as possible while still sitting on his chair. She came and grabbed it, then stood next to him. When he didn't move, she spoke. "You're coming with me, Third Child." Her voice was commanding, but not harsh.



Kensuke made a whipping noise with his mouth, getting some chuckles from nearby classmates. Toji stood up from his seat and pointed a finger at Asuka. "What's your problem Demon ? Can't you give Shin-Man a break once in a while ?" He knew that Shinji's behavior today was because of her, and he finally couldn't stay silent anymore.



Before Asuka could verbally abuse his friend, Shinji spoke up. "Thank you Toji, but that's alright. I'm not scared." His voice was filled with tiredness, but he didn't flinch. He knew that whatever Asuka was going to through at him, he had deserved it, so he stood up and silently followed her.



"You're too used to it ! You have to fight back Shin-Man !" Toji retorted.



"Maybe he's not scared because he has iron balls." Kensuke muttered to himself.

.



.



They walked together in silence for some time before reaching a quiet place under a tree with no one around to bother them. They sat down and opened their lunch boxes.



"Where were you this morning ? I wanted to talk to you." Asuka broke the silence when it became too uncomfortable. He wasn't going to break the ice and she knew it.



"Around... I..."



"You ran away, again." She cut him.



"I didn't want to face you. I... I betrayed you. I'm..." He was cut once again by Asuka.



"Don't even think about it." She said in a threatening tone. She took a few deep breaths before to calm herself continuing. "I can take care of myself." She paused. "But I had a lot of time to think last night. And I came to the conclusion that I enjoy not being dead in my entry-plug inside an Angel. And I owe it to you..." Shinji was looking at her now. He was staring in her deep blue eyes. He opened his mouth but was cut before a sound could escape it. "Let me finish... I like knowing that I can rely on you to have my back. I know that I can trust you, Shinji." She then awkwardly and quickly added "In battle. And I hope you know that you can trust me as well."



"I trust you, Asuka. I'm sorry, really sorry I mean. I didn't want to hurt you like that... I-it's just that... That it's the first time in my life I have something to lose. I-I didn't want to lose you. I just let my selfishness get the better of me." He looked down in shame.



She wasn't expecting him to be this truthful, and was a little taken aback. She also didn't like to see him hurt like this, even if she wouldn't admit it to him. She could admit it to herself, but herself only. She decided to lighten the mood. "You know ? I never could have hoped for a better sidekick !" She said with a playful tone.



It had exactly the effect she expected. "Sidekick ? Really ?" Shinji asked with sarcasm in his voice.



"You heard what I said." She smirked before continuing. "I also had time to think about our week of sync training. Do you remember it ?"



Not liking where the conversation was going because of his attempt at kissing her in her sleep, Shinji turned his head away from her again. "Of course I do."



"I really liked it back then." He looked at her in surprise. "You didn't hesitate as much. You stood your ground against me, you fought back !" She trailed off for a second. "I don't remember which day it was, and you probably don't remember as well... It must have been towards the end because you were really starting to get on my nerves. We were brushing our teeth and right when we finished we snarled at each other..."



"Yeah ! I remember ! I just wanted this to be over. If it had continued much longer, I think I would have strangled you." He said jokingly. He had relaxed in the last minutes, and was just happy thinking back to this week, eating lunch with her. He felt very good at this moment.



"... I almost kissed you right there and then." She blurted out. "Now I'm glad I didn't, since all you were thinking about was killing me." She said in mock indignation.



"Wa-wait ! R-really ?" He asked with wide eyes.



"I told you I really liked it." She was blushing a little. Shinji, seeing her like this, couldn't help but reach out his hand to grab hers. She quickly -and violently- slapped it with her chopsticks.



"What's the hell do you think you're doing, idiot ? You think that I would let you touch me ?" She shouted, before adding in a voice barely above a whisper. "Akagi more or less told me when I was at the hospital that we were under constant surveillance by Section 2. We can't do that in public, even if there's nobody around us."



"Erm... On that note..." Shinji didn't want to sound hesitant, he just couldn't help himself.



"I'm pretty sure I won't like what you're about to say." Her face was serious.



He gathered his courage and spoke "I want to tell Misato."



"Yeah, that's what I thought. And I don't. As soon as she knows, she'll make a fuss and tell us to stop. She might go as far as asking me to move out !"



"She's been nice to me when nobody else was. She took me in when even my father didn't want me around ! She's like a big sister to me. I can't hide this from her." He explained calmly.



"That's funny Ikari," She squinted her eyes while looking at him. "You usually stutter when you say things like that."



"I-it's really important to me." He stuttered.



"Okay I guess. But you let me do it." A plan was forming in her head as she spoke, and she didn't want any interference. "You'll be there, of course, you'll be able to persuade her more than I."



"Thank you, that means a lot to me." He repeated. "It's almost time for class, we should go back... I erm... I really liked eating with you today." He said as he picked up their bentos before getting up.



"I had a good time too. You're not so bad, Third Child." She said with a smile.



"M-maybe we could eat together again... with Hikari and... T-Toji and Kensuke, so we wouldn't attract too much attention..."



"Ugh ! Being seen with the Stooges would ruin my reputation here ! I have an excuse with you since you're a pilot too. You've already asked a lot of me, Third Child !" She said with a scowl. Then her features softened when she thought about eating with said Third Child on a regular basis. " But I'll think about it."



They walked back to their classroom quietly. Shinji looked down and his shoulders were slumped. He got back in character quickly so nobody would ask him questions. Or more precisely so he would have an excuse not to answer them when they would ask questions. Asuka strutted with her usual haughty demeanor for the same reasons. Both of them were gleeful inside, happy to have settled things down and looking forward to spending the night in each other's arms.

 

[E.D.C.]

Hey !

Here's a new chapter. That one was really tricky to write ! Enjoy. If you want I mean !

"Pilot Soryu, thank you for allowing us to ask you a few questions."

Asuka wasn't very pleased to say the least to have to answer to this "Committee" she had never heard of before. Misato had told her and Shinji that they were both going to be questioned concerning what happened during the Angel battle, that she had tried to prevent this but that they didn't take "no" for an answer. She was annoyed and tense, but tried to hide it as much as she could. The fact that she was standing in a room only lit by a projector under her didn't help. So she stood there in her plugsuit, her arms crossed and her head slightly tilted, the light from under her unpleasant for her eyes. "I don't think I can give you much information." She answered with as little inflection as possible.

"Did the Angel attempt to communicate with you ?" A second voice which came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time asked.

"How should I know ? As I already said in my report, I was asleep most of the time and barely conscious otherwise ! I might have had some dreams or nightmares but I don't remember them." The vision of her own face that she saw inside the Angel flashed through her mind.

"That is, if your memory is correct."

"And how would I know if my memory had been tampered with ?" She said sarcastically.

"Was the Angel interested in your spirit ? In your mind ?" The first voice asked.

"When I was inside the Angel, everything was white and empty. There was nothing. If the Angel manifested itself maybe I would have talked to it to occupy my time." She had less and less success hiding her annoyance to these faceless voices. "All I know is that I almost died inside my Eva so I was preoccupied with other things rather than analyzing Gott knows what !"

"That will be all. You are dismissed." A new voice stated. This one was calm and deep, it irradiated an aura of authority. Asuka's anger vanished in an instant upon hearing it.

"Yes, Sir." She answered, before the light under her disappeared.

"What do you think, Ikari ?" The same voice added.

"The informations we got from the Second Child are inconclusive. She is far too unreliable to tell us anything useful. Bring the Third." Commander Ikari stated emotionless as the light under him turned on. He disappeared back in the darkness as soon as he finished his sentence.

"We should try something different with him." A fourth voice stated. It sounded old, or rather older than the others. The light brought the attention of the Committee to the Third Child, who was clad in his plugsuit as well. He looked uncomfortable and scared.

"Don't worry." The fourth voice said. "Just tell us what happened during your time inside the last Angel. Tell us anything that you think could be relevant to understand our enemy better." It added calmly, almost with a friendly tone to it.

"Erm... Well... I don't really know... There... There was nothing, and nothing happened." Shinji was very nervous, talking like this with invisible interlocutors. The whole staging for this interview made him anxious. Even the fact that he had to wear his plugsuit made him nervous.

"Do you think the Angel tried to communicate with you at some point ?" The first voice which spoke to Asuka asked. Its tone was calm too, but it betrayed some anticipation. Some impatience.

"I erm... Don't think so. I've dreamed that I had a conversation with myself." He was embarrassed by the conversation, he hadn't told anyone about it, not even Asuka, and he sure didn't want to tell people he didn't even know what this conversation was about. Not to mention that telling them that it was seeing Asuka that triggered, according to him, the Eva going berserk. "I... Don't remember the conversation. After that, I woke up and the Eva took control and destroyed the Angel. I passed out so I don't know what happened. I'm Sorry."

"According to the partial recording we managed to recover, you activated your Evangelion consciously moments before it took control." Said the first voice.

"I panicked. I woke up thinking I was going to die. I didn't want to die." Shinji said with despair.

"That'll be enough. You're dismissed." The third voice said, understanding that they wouldn't get anymore useful informations from the Third Child, before the light went out under Shinji, and the one under his father turned on.

"The Angels appear to be getting more and more intelligent. There's not much time left." Gendo said without even moving, his fingers crossed in front of his mouth.

"Left for us, you mean ?" The third voice, the voice of Keel Lorenz, asked rhetorically.

.

.

The silence was heavy in the Alpine that was bringing the trio back to their home. They all were preoccupied by what happened with the Committee. Misato still felt guilty for putting her kids through it. As a consequence, she decided that she had caught up enough on her paperwork to allow herself some time off so she could spend more time with her wards, to give them some semblance of a normal life.

When they arrived home, She grabbed herself a beer that she savored, for once, after having changed in her usual tank top and mini shorts. Asuka went straight to the bathroom to take a shower and Shinji started making dinner. The interviews didn't last long for both Pilots, but they made them wait a long time before going through with it.

When Asuka came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel around her body and another around her hair, the first thing she did was scream at Shinji and scold him because dinner wasn't ready yet. She really enjoyed this. She could scream at him to her heart's content and she knew it was consequence free, since he was one of the only ones she had shown the real Asuka, even if it was just a glimpse. She just hoped he knew, because she couldn't bring herself to tell him what she had said to herself in her Entry-plug yet, she had already enough of a hard time accepting it herself.

The mood improved significantly as dinner went on. All three of them were more than happy to release some steam. The last few nights had taken a toll on them, and they had needed this, consequently, none of them did anything to darken the mood, Asuka didn't shout as much as before dinner, and Shinji kept quiet in order not to apologize. It was the best option in his mind, and he felt content just listening to his two roommates talking about nothing in particular. The only thing that kept him from truly relaxing was the slight smirk that Asuka wore. He knew from experience that this facial expression meant that she had something in mind.

And he was right. When he stood up and picked up their plates to do the dishes, he threw a nervous glare in her direction, which she noticed, but ignored. Even if she could have, she didn't want to let this opportunity go to waste. The moment was perfect. The pieces were set. The plan was in motion. 'Oh he wants Misato to know ? Fine ! But it will be on my own terms.' Her plan was foolproof. Simple, yet elegant... Well, mostly.

"Hey Shin-Chan~ !" A very tipsy and very cheerful Misato called. "You shouldn't push yourself this hard ! You don't have to clean everything right away ! Come back with us !" She said with her cutest voice.

"Don't you dare, Invincible Shinji." Asuka replied. Her tone was a mix between joking and threatening which made shivers run down Shinji's spine. "I don't want to live in a slum ! And I know what's going to happen if you start listening to Misato !"

"I'll be done in a minute anyway." He answered, defeated.

"You're no fun." Misato pouted before consoling herself with her beer.

'GO !' Asuka thought. "By the way, Misato..." She paused for effect and was satisfied to see that her guardian kept drinking her beer while her eyes turned to her. "Shinji and I have been sleeping together for the past week or so." She continued casually.

And everything went exactly according to plan. Misato spat the beer that was still in her mouth and choked on the liquid that was in her throat. She started coughing. She was turning red, tears forming in her eyes, beer shooting out of her nostrils. Shinji, for his part, was paralyzed like a deer in headlight, as red as Misato, but for different reasons. He was still holding his sponge in his right hand but had dropped the plate he was cleaning.

Asuka wiped some beer from her face with a napkin, a small price to pay, she thought, as she continued. "What's happening to you ? Are you okay ?" She asked innocently. "Oh ! You thought we are actually sleeping together as in... Sleeping together ?" She said in mock-surprise. "Don't be silly ! I just mean that we both sleep in the same bed, nothing more !"

Misato tried to look angry when she finally stopped coughing, but the effect was somewhat lost on the girl in front of her.

"Oh come on ! You've been teasing us non stop since I moved in here ! You can't act like that now !" Asuka replied to the unspoken remark, still with a smirk on her face.

"I'm not talking about that !" Misato shot out with a hoarse voice, her face stern, her tone almost menacing.

"What do..." She was cut by her Major.

"You're far too young to be doing this." She said. Her tipsy and friendly demeanor gone in an instant. It's at this precise moment that Pen Pen decided to make a strategic retreat to his fridge. "You think the both of you can do what the hell you want ? I can't believe it. You two are completely irresponsible." She continued, her voice was calm but everyone in the room could see that she wasn't. "We are at war. We cannot afford to jeopardize the survival of mankind because two kids cannot stop making doe eyes at each other."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have made me move in with you !" Asuka was furious. She slammed her palms against the table as she stood up, knocking her chair down in the process. "I warned you Misato ! I told you when you made me move in that it was a bad idea ! But you didn't listen, did you ? All of us knew right from the start that something like this could happen ! And now you want to separate us because you don't want to face the consequences of your actions !"

"I guess you're right. I should never have allowed two irresponsible teenagers to live together, but for someone who keeps heralding how mature you are, you really did make a point in proving that these are just empty words !" Misato stood up as well. Disappointment could be heard in every word she said. "I can't let you two live together anymore... I can't trust you."

"You can't do that Misato-San !" Shinji said pleadingly but with determination while coming close to Asuka, drawing strength from her closeness and encouraging her at the same time. "Asuka didn't want you to know." He said with conviction which earned him a look of anger from Asuka and made Misato's stance falter a little. "It was my idea. Because I thought you of all people would understand. Because I thought we could trust you. That it would make you happy..." he trailed off.

Shinji's remark really hurt her, but she hid it from them. She couldn't stop now. "I want to be happy for you... I really do... I know that both of you more than deserve as much happiness as you can get." She said in a more subdued tone. "But I just can't let you... As your guardian and especially as your commanding officer. There's just too much at stake. I'm sure you can understand that." She started walking around the table as she kept on justifying herself. "Imagine if you broke up. What would happen to your ability to pilot ? "She raised a hand towards Asuka. "Don't interrupt me !" She added with authority before continuing. "Or if one of you took unnecessary risks and got injured or even killed to protect the other ?.. I'm sorry but it's the human race's future we are talking about." She said in a despondent tone as she arrived just next to her charges...

… And swiftly took them both into a crushing bear hug ! Shinji yelped and almost fainted. Asuka gasped as the air was pushed out of her lungs. They both struggled against their assailant before understanding that it was a lost cause. Misato was laughing while holding them in an unconventional group hug.

"What the hell are you doing !?" Asuka asked, she was still very much angry at Misato and didn't quite understand what was happening.

"Are you dense ?" Misato teased. "Of course I'm happy for you guys !.. But never try to fool me again." She said mock-menacingly as she released them from her iron grip.

"Y-You mean you won't..." Shinji tried to ask.

"Of course I won't separate you ! You two lovebirds are too adorable together for that !" She answered cheerfully.

"So you're going to tease us even more. You had a great idea there, Baka Shinji."

"T-Thank you, Misato-San" Shinji finally managed to regain enough composure to make a full sentence.

"You're the only one who knows about us. Well, you and Pen Pen, of course. And we intend on keeping it that way, so don't tell anyone, alright ?" Asuka demanded. She was relieved that everything went well, but that didn't mean they didn't have things to settle.

"I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me this. Trust me, I won't tell anyone, but you guys have to be careful too, okay ? You have Section 2 agents following you pretty much everywhere, and I'm pretty sure some people wouldn't be too happy to know about you two being together."

Asuka grimaced a little at this last word. They hadn't decided if they indeed were together. They probably were, but they, or she, didn't want to put a label on them yet. She was an independent woman. She didn't need anyone. She didn't want to lose this. "We already know that. By the way, it would be nice to have a little bit more freedom. I haven't forgotten Okinawa, you know."

Misato gave her an apologetic look. "You have to be even more careful because now my ass in on the line as well ! I will get fired if anyone learns that I hid this information !"

"Maybe it would be better for everyone involved." Asuka answered sarcastically.

"I know you don't really think that !" She hugged them again, this time less forcefully. They both returned the hug after some awkward seconds. "I'm so happy for you !" She freed them. " I'm going to bed, don't be too loud tonight, lovebirds !"

"Misato !" Both Children blushed and shouted at the same time. But Misato was already out of the dining room and almost at her bedroom. They looked at each other, shrugged, then went to the bathroom to brush their teeth. They got even redder when they realized it was just like during their sync training. They then went to their room in silence.

.

.

The light of the setting sun made the depiction of the Kabbalistic Tree of Life in the scarcely furnished office glimmer eerily.

"This is a development we did not foresee." Fuyutsuki stated, breaking the silence after what had seemed like hours to him. Maybe it had been.

"If development it is.." Gendo answered." There is nothing concrete as of right now." The last thing they had listened to was the audio recording of the last fight, before the two Evangelions were swallowed by the Shadow.

"This could endanger the scenario." Fuyutsuki had learned over the years how to talk to his superior in order to coax informations from him.. Gendo still kept his secrets, of course, but the Professor had managed to get informations he should not have known thanks to this skill he had developed.

"As I said, we do not have anything concrete. I will have Rei gather informations on them. We are not going to take measures, especially since it could prove beneficial to the scenario." Gendo replied in his usual deadpan tone.

"How is that ?"

""We did not have any use for the Second anymore. Now, we might be able to use her to "motivate" the Third. You have seen how he reacted when he encountered Rei. He can easily be manipulated. If he is infatuated with the Second, this will be even easier... And if the need shall arise, we can use more persuasive measures." Gendo crossed his fingers before his mouth as he finished his sentence.

"Are you saying.." Fuyutsuki was cut before he could finish his question.

"Yes. Furthermore, it might be just what we would need t use him as a contingency in case Rei was to become... Unreliable." Gendo stated.

Fuyutsuki could have kept the conversation going, yet his thoughts prevented him from doing so. 'Yui would have never accepted you using her son like this. Will you be able to look her in the eyes after this ?' His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing.

"What ?" He answered sternly.

A hesitant and shaky voice answered the question. "The... The Second Branch Sir, it disappeared."

"It disappeared ?! The entire Second Branch just vanished ?!" Fuyutsuki wasn't taken aback as much as he sounded. He only repeated the information for the other person in the room.

"Yes, Sir, it's been confirmed. It's gone."

.

.

.'Gott this had to be the worst idea this idiot ever had ! Asuka thought, and this time she decided to tell Shinji about it. She typed her message on her computer and sent it.

Asuka L.S. : "This has to be the worst idea you ever had, idiot."

Shinji I. : "What ?" Shinji cleverly replied.

Asuka L.S. : "Me, Hikari, you and your Stooges."

Shinji I : "Sorry."

Asuka L.S. :"I'm going to punch you if this class ever ends."

Asuka L.S. : "We can't just start this without a good reason."

Shinji I. : "At least you're thinking about it, I'm glad." It was easier for Shinji to be open on instant messaging. There was a rather long pause in their conversation. Shinji could hear Asuka typing, then stopping, then restarting a few times before he received a new message.

Asuka L.S. : "Okay. I admit. It's not that bad of an idea."

Asuka L.S. : "It's just that we can't just tell them that it's NERV related. It might be enough for your idiot friends but Hikari would never buy it."

Shinji I. : "You think the class rep will agree ?"

Asuka L.S. : "You just gave me a great idea ! Tell me you forgot our lunches today !"

Shinji I. : "You will scream at me ?"

Asuka L.S. : "Oh yes ! But it's a small sacrifice, don't you think ?"

Shinji I. : "I don't have a choice anyway. Please don't be too harsh."

Asuka L.S. : "You know me !" She concluded with a smirk that he didn't see. Indeed, he knew her. He knew she was going to be harsh. Or he would soon find out.

The class went on forever in everyone's mind until finally, the bell rang, marking the beginning of lunch break.

"Lunch time ! Lunch time ! This is the single best thing about school !" Toji exclaimed, his lecture-induced torpor already far behind him. Nothing could taint his good mood. Nothing except a high pitched shriek coming from a Demon. He turned in the direction of the parasitic noise just in time to see said Demon punching his friend rather hard on the shoulder. Shinji's cry of pain was drowned in Asuka's rambling.

"You didn't make lunches for us ?" She asked with all the anger she could muster. She knew that her lunch was safely packed in Shinji's bag, but she had to pass on it in order to move her plan forward.

"I didn't have time to cook last night. I had too much homework." Shinji managed to sound convincing. He used his disappointment to fuel his acting. He would have to eat the disgusting "food" of the cafeteria or skip lunch altogether

"And that's your excuse for me having to go without lunch ?!" She was about to drop the act and go rummage through Shinji's bag to get her lunch when she was interrupted by Toji.

"A husband and wife quarrel ?" Shinji and Asuka both blushed furiously at his comment. The other students around them started laughing and cheering as the both of them felt heat course through their bodies. They wanted nothing more than to disappear at this instant. The thought crossed both their minds that their secret had been discovered and that it was just a matter of time now before they would be separated.

"It's not like that !" They regained their composure at the same time and shouted to Toji in unison.

"Hikari, come with me !" Asuka demanded, and Hikari obliged. She hadn't been really angry when she had been screaming at Shinji, but Toji's snarky comment had put her in a bad mood. When they were far enough away from anyone, she spoke again. "I didn't want to be this hard on you."

"Don't worry, I understand." Hikari replied. They went to a quiet place and sat down. "Do you want to share my lunch ? I always make too much anyway."

'I really don't deserve a friend like you.' Asuka thought before nodding. "Thank you !" She said with a smile. Hikari started eating as both of them fell silent again. After a while, Asuka broke the silence. "Hey, could I sleep at your place tonight ?"

"Uhm... Sure ! Of course ! But if you don't mind me asking, why ?" Hikari was surprised. Asuka had never been one to partake in this kind of activities. She was too mature for that, she always said.

"I spend far too much time with the idiot, Jock Stooge's joke earlier is proof of that. I need some time off from this wimp or else everyone is going to start believing we really are a married couple !" She answered, her eyes in the distance.

'Everyone already believes that. You two are the only one who don't see it.' Hikari thought before giving her bento box to Asuka who quickly shoved as much food as she could in her mouth. "I already told you, you should be nicer to him." She said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "And you could be nicer to Suzuhara too." She mumbled, almost inaudibly. Almost.

She didn't want to talk about Shinji, maybe tonight she would but for now, she was glad to have an opportunity to end this conversation. "And why should I be nicer to Suzuhara ?" She asked in a mellow tone.

"No reason !" Hikari yelped as she turned beet red, then fell silent.

"I'll have to go back home to pick some stuff up, I'll come to your house after okay ?" Asuka stated, relieved to have dodged that bullet.

"I... Yeah. Okay !" She still wasn't over the shock brought by Asuka's incredible hearing.

.

.

When the bell marking the end of the day rang, every student in classroom 2-A sighed with relief. They all packed their bags and left the classroom in record time, except for four of them. As Asuka finally informed Shinji that she was spending the night at Hikari's, much to his disappointment, Hikari herself went to speak to Toji. Asuka gave Shinji a reassuring, albeit discreet smile and whispered to him "Come on, you can handle sleeping alone for one night, right ?" He nodded slightly, with a smile tainted with a little sadness. Asuka then turned on her heels and left the classroom on her own.

"Suzuhara, you've got the duty this week. Get to work !" Hikari said with her usual authority.

"What do you mean ?" Toji answered, looking confused.

"The class printout ! Didn't you hear the teacher tell you to deliver this ?"

"Come on, you can ask the other person on duty, can't you ?" Toji replied, clearly showing how unwilling he was.

"Miss Ayanami is absent today !" Hikari's behavior hadn't changed.

"Ayanami and me ? Then I guess there's no choice. But I don't want to go to some girl's place by myself." Toji said as he saw an opportunity to make this chore less boring.

Hikari saw an opportunity as well and decided to go with it. Sure, it would mean making Asuka wait, but she would understand. She would probably go on and on about how stupid Toji was, but she would understand. "Well, I can go with you..."

But her hopes vanished when Toji shouted. "Shinji ! Walk home with me, will you ?"

.

.

Unfortunately for Toji, the walk to Rei's apartment didn't offer much in the way of entertainment. Shinji didn't seem to be in a talking mood, even less than usual. He seemed to be pondering something. When they arrived at Rei's front door, Toji refrained from commenting on it. Or on her building. Or on her neighborhood for that matter. He knew that it was a sketchy neighborhood to say the least, but he hadn't witnessed how dilapidated it looked with his own eyes. Every building there seemed about to crumble. Everything was dirty and full of rubble.

"Ayanami, we're coming in." Shinji stated after they had stayed for some time in front of the door.

"You can't enter a girl's room without her permission." Toji retorted with evident shock in his voice.

"We've got no choice. She won't see it if we leave it there." Shinji said while gesturing at the mailbox. He then opened the door when he finished his sentence. "Excuse us..." When he didn't get an answer, he entered, took off his shoes and headed inside the main room, followed closely by Toji.

"Good grief ! This is a girl's room ? It's so decrepit." Toji said in an astounded tone.

Shinji didn't fail to notice that the upper drawer of Rei's dresser was slightly ajar. He shook the memory out of his mind and went to the bed, where he placed the printouts. After that, he knelt down and started picking up dirty rags from the floor.

"Hey, you shouldn't touch anything ! She'll get pissed !" Toji said in a warning tone when he saw what his friend was doing.

"I'm just cleaning up."

"I won't help you ! That's not a man's job !"

"Okay, but Misato hates guys like that." Shinji answered sardonically. He hadn't asked for any help, but it was too easy to pass up.

Toji gasped. "I don't care ! It's my policy !" He obviously was flustered.

Shinji picked up his garbage bag and headed for another pile of rags. Toji sat down on a chair, still watching him, still not helping him.

"Come to think of it, you've changed."

"What ?" Shinji didn't seem to pay attention, or he really hadn't understood.

"You, Shinji." Toji clarified as Shinji turned to face him "The first time I saw you, I really thought you were a jerk. You didn't seem like you would do something for someone else." He paused, then his eyes went to the ceiling. "I guess you're just really reserved."

Shinji pondered this comment for a few seconds. "I guess opening up to others can lead to good things." Their conversation was interrupted when Rei entered her apartment.

"Excuse us !" Toji said raising his hand at her.

"What ?" Rei said without inflection.

"Those are the school bulletins you have piled up." Toji answered while pointing his thumb in the general direction of the printouts.

"I'm sorry ! I took it upon myself to clean up a little. But I didn't touch anything except trash." Shinji chimed in, raising his garbage bag.

Rei blushed. "T-Thank you." Shinji was shocked to see her troubled like this. They then bid her farewell and left her alone.

Rei then slumped onto her bed. She laid there for some time, her arms in front of her face, deep in thought.

"Thank you... Words of gratitude. Words I've never used. Not even to him. I cannot spy on Ikari." She spoke to herself, with disappointment, or even disgust in her tone. It was very subtle, but it was there. She was confused, never before had she disobeyed an order, expecially one from the Commander, but she couldn't bring herself to do something that might harm the only person which showed real kindness towards her.

.

.

On their way home, they didn't speak once again but Toji wanted to know more about what Shinji had told him. "What did you mean ? When we were at Rei's."

"Oh. I-I meant that doing something for someone. O-Or just t-talking, can lead to good things." he didn't really like where the conversation was going, one wrong step and Toji would learn about him and Asuka.

"Do you have something to tell me then ?" Toji sensed that there was something more to this story, so he pushed Shinji.

"Erm... I m-mean that I've been alone most of the time... B-before I arrived here... So it's something that I had never learned." It was getting more and more uncomfortable for Shinji, he had to think of something fast. But just as he was about to mumble incomprehensibly, an idea came to his mind. "Y-You see, if I had talked to you instead of letting you punch me without doing anything, maybe we could have avoided it altogether."

Satisfied with this answer Toji answered. "Yeah... I guess you're right..."

Still frightened about the possible outcome he wished to avoid, Shinji decided to make a hasty retreat. Running away was still his preferred strategy in many situations. "Well, I-I have to go this way, I have some errands to run. Bye !" He went away without waiting for Toji to answer. He had thought about it when walking with Toji. Asuka wouldn't be home tonight, it was the perfect moment so he decided to put his plan into motion. And for that, he indeed had some errands to run.

"Bye..." Toji answered. "... Eva pilots are sure weird all right."

 

[E.D.C.]

And here's a new chapter. Just finished proofreading it. I hope I didn't miss too many mistakes !

Oh and I edited the third chapter. I realized some time ago that I didn't put the whole thing here. I forgot all the beginning. My bad !



Spending the evening with Hikari had been nice. Even though Asuka wasn't entirely looking forward to seeing how the night would go. She was still too proud to show her weaknesses, so she hid how she felt to Shinji, but she knew that her nightmares hadn't disappeared, that they were still there, waiting to come back. She tried not to think about it, enjoying the time she was spending with her best friend. They had a good time chatting about this and that, exchanging pleasantries, cooking (Asuka even helped !), Hikari had wanted to ask her if she wanted to cook something for Shinji, but abstained when she remembered why Asuka was here in the first place. She wanted to talk to her about him though, to understand what was in her mind, but she didn't want to sour the mood.



Long story short, they had a great time, nothing to complain about.



'Is she going to tell me about her crush for Jock Stooge one day ?!' Except that. Finding stuff to complain about had always been one of Asuka's strong suit. Except that this time, her complain was justified. Her whole plan relied on this, and she knew that demanding answers was the easiest way to fail her little operation miserably. And Asuka Langley Soryu did not fail. She had to wait. Which was another problem, since she wasn't known for her patience. Waiting for Hikari to spit it out was taking a toll on her nerves. She wanted to lead the discussion towards him, but the only things she could think about concerning Toji were demeaning to say the least, and since she had never called him by his name, she thought it wouldn't work as planned. She still had time, she could still wait until the next morning, when they would be on their way to school.



.



.



The evening passed and gave way to the night. The two girls went to bed in Hikari's room, which, in the image of her resident, was tidy and clean, almost spartan, with very few decorations and furnitures, yet still felt welcoming and cozy. It was rather big, with a double bed, a meridian in one corner, a desk on the opposite corner and a TV. Asuka was sleeping on a futon on the floor between the bed and the TV. They went to her room relatively early, not to bother (and be bothered by) her family. They played video games for a while, idly chatting at the same time. Eventually, they decided to go to bed and call it a night, but Asuka didn't want to sleep yet.



"So, wanna talk about Suzuhara ?"Asuka finally asked, her voice low so as not to disturb Hikari's family. She couldn't stand waiting anymore.



"How did you know ?" Hikari replied a bit startled.



"It's pretty obvious. The three stooges are the only ones who can't see it." Asuka answered, smiling. A reassuring smile which was meant to show that she wasn't judging her friend. Not that it was very much visible in the dark room.



"Ikari seems naive" Hikari stated, once again trying to steer the conversation towards Shinji. If she was to talk about her crush, so was Asuka, she thought.



"Actually, he's just a dolt" Asuka said, raising a finger to emphasize her point. "He's an idiot too. He hasn't got any idea as to how to relate to others."



"Why are you always like this when talking about him ? Do you hate him that much ?" Hikari was disappointed. Once again Asuka wasn't going to tell her anything, nor be honest with herself.



Asuka didn't expect that question. And she didn't want to lie to her friend, yet she couldn't tell her the truth. As much as she trusted her, this was their thing. Hers and Shinji's. She had already compromised enough by telling Misato, she wasn't about to tell anyone else yet. "I... Don't hate him... I... We... He's one of the only ones who can understand me..." She lamely answered, unnerved by her hesitation. "Since he's a Pilot as well." And quickly added. She didn't know what else she could say to be honest without saying too much.



"Then why are you always like this with him ?" Hikari asked, quite surprised that she had been able to coax this much from her friend.



"... I don't know. To be honest I don't mind spending time with him that much. I want things to be clear I guess. We live together, we train together, we fight together... I don't want people to think that we could be a thing." It was mostly an honest answer. 'This is our secret. Nobody has to know.' She added mentally.



"Most people already believe it Asuka. Some of your admirers gave up on you because of that." Hikari stated. She wasn't too keen on gossiping, but her role of class representative meant that she had ears everywhere.



'And I don't want to find out what they'd do if they knew.' Asuka thought before answering, getting carried away. "And some others think of it as a challenge. Those same boys who only want me as a trophy." She spat the word with visible disgust.



"I thought you liked the attention." Hikari wasn't sure about herself when she said that. But she heard this directly from Asuka in the past, who had always taken great pride in not going unnoticed.



"I do hate it !" She blurted out vehemently. "They are just lusting after my appearance, my body. It's shallow and it signifies nothing. Even worse, I'm the Red Demon for most of them ! They can't stand me yet they want me. I feel sick just thinking about them !" Her mind went back to Shinji and what he told her about his mother. 'None of these jerks can understand me, or would even try to. And I still lock out the only one who can...'



Seeing her best friend like this, Hikari was moved, she had never told her such personal things before. "It's unusual for you to be this open. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me all this."



"I don't talk about myself, you're right. I don't like to. But I learned there's some good to be had when talking, so I'm trying..." She paused not sure of how to continue, and having talked about her enough for now. "Can I ask you one thing ?"



"What ?" Hikari knew that the conversation just came back to her and her crush.



"What do you see in a simple minded stooge like that ?" Asuka asked calmly, her tone indicated to Hikari that she wasn't insulting him. Much.



"His compassion..." Hikari answered, blushing.



"I really don't understand you sometimes..." She stated, nonplussed. Inside, however, she was happy, her plan had worked, again, with some adjustments, maybe, but it had worked, with the benefit of having shared something with someone, which relieved her of a weight on her shoulders. Even though it hadn't been her goal, she was happy to feel relieved of it. 'One more success for Asuka Langley Soryu, strategist.' She amusedly thought. "That being said, I can help you. How would you like to eat with him at school ?"



"You could do that ?" Her voice couldn't have sounded happier.



"I can use my influence so that the Stooges and us eat together. I'll have to tell everything to the idiot, of course. We'll tell the other Stooges that it's NERV related, they'll never suspect anything." Asuka explained.



"I don't know." As much as she would have liked to eat with Toji, Hikari still wasn't sure.



"Don't worry. I'll make sure he won't tell anyone." Asuka had already thought of everything. And she knew Shinji wouldn't jeopardize the both of them being able to spend more time together.



"But we'll be using him. It doesn't seem fair." Hikari inquired, worried.



Asuka hadn't thought about this, because she knew he was the one who had wanted this in the first place. The idea had crossed her mind as well, but she didn't want to admit it to him. Thankfully, the answer came naturally to her. "This is nothing compared to what I'll have to endure. I'll have to be there too ! Plus, he'll have the privilege of basking in my glory."



"And you'll be able to spend more time with him !" Hikari teased, hoping that after what she had said, Asuka would finally take the hint !



"Don't push it. This is a great sacrifice I'm willing to make to help you. You'll be forever in my debt !" Asuka joked in her most solemn tone.



"I agree ! When do we start ?"



.



.



With all that he had to do, Shinji arrived home later than usual, laden with several grocery bags. "I'm home." he said automatically as he kicked off his shoes while focusing on not dropping anything. When he reached the kitchen, was greeted by one of his roommates.



"Hey Shin-Chan, I thought you'd be here when I arrived !" Misato said before seeing him struggling a little with his burden. "Oh my ! What's all this ? I thought we had enough groceries for a while ! " She added as she came closer to him, not to help, but to rummage through one of the bags. "Hmmm, potatoes, sausages, flour, chocolate..." She then added with an overly teasing tone, even for her. "Well well well ! Does my lovely Shinji intend to do something special for his lovely girlfriend ?"



Shinji instantly blushed upon hearing the word 'girlfriend'. "Y-yeah... Sh-she's not here t-tonight, so I wanted to surprise her." he stuttered lamely.



"That's so very sweet of you Shin-Chan !" Misato kept on teasing him, ruffling his hair in the process. "You're such a sweetheart !" Shinji couldn't do anything but stay frozen while Misato was punishing him with her teasing skills. She finally stopped and took his bags to put them on the kitchen table. "I'm sorry Shinji. It's just that I'm really happy for you guys !"



Regaining his composure enough, he finally spoke. "T-that's alright... Misato-San, c-can I ask you something ?" Shinji asked, clearly embarrassed.



But embarrassed from what he had to ask or what she had done, Misato had no clue. "Of course, what is it ?" It took her as a consequence all her willpower not to start teasing him again.



"I... Don't know when we'll be able to... But... You know..." He was too sheepish to finish his sentence.



"You're just too sweet ! Of course I won't be there to get in your way ! Just tell me when you know and I'll go out with Kaji if I'm not at NERV dealing with paperwork !" She did her best to keep her tone and expression as happy as it was, even while thinking about how much work she still had to do in the aftermath of the last Angel battle.



"... Sorry." Shinji felt guilty for imposing himself and his ideas on her. Not to mention Pen Pen, whose fridge was to be partly commandeered in order to store the ingredients he had bought. It was the only place where he was sure Asuka wouldn't go to.



'Don't worry about it ! I told you. You deserve to be happy. Both of you, so if I can help, count on me to do it !" Misato brushed his worries cheerily. "I saw you rented a movie. Don't forget to watch it before you guys eat, so at least you have one thing to talk about !"



It's at this moment that it hit him. For most of his life, Shinji Ikari had been alone. Living with his teacher had been nothing more than convenient, he had a roof over his head, food in his plate, but barely any social interaction. At this time, he merely existed, and it was enough for him, at least, it felt like it was enough. But upon hearing Misato's answer, he finally understood that living with others could be so much more, and he realized how much he had missed in the last years. Getting closer to Asuka had opened his eyes. And Misato helped him understand that things that could have been so trivial, so insignificant, were incredibly important. Her helping him was one thing, Toji standing up for him was another, Rei smiling to him was one too. In the past, he would have brushed these things off, but now they were impossible to ignore. They overwhelmed him. He managed to finally answer a simple "Thank you." with tears in his eyes and a cracking voice.



Misato understood. She had seen how the boy used to be in the few months that she had known him. It was heartwarming for her to see him growing like he was doing. She thus settled for a slight nod and a smile before leaving him alone. She faintly heard Shinji pleading and negotiating with Pen Pen in order to use his fridge for a few days over the sound of the TV.



.



.



Like every day since she had moved in with them, Shinji had prepared Asuka's lunch for the day. He had been slightly disappointed as a consequence when he saw her eating a bento prepared by Hikari. Only slightly because he was really happy to see her. It had not even been a full day, but he got used to having her sleeping next to him really quickly. He had settled for giving his extra lunch to Toji.



"Shinji, that's a hidden talent ya got there. The Demon really can't appreciate anything !" Toji exclaimed, his mouth still filled with food. He had been glad to eat a properly cooked meal instead of the disgusting food of the cafeteria, but he hadn't anticipated it to be this good !



Shinji however, felt rather conflicted. On the one hand, even as small as it was, this praising of his cooking filled him with joy. He hadn't been praised a lot during his short life, so each and every one were memories he kept close to his heart. The small ones like this one and the more important ones alike. On the other hand, it was getting more and more difficult for him to keep a straight face when his friends insulted his girlfriend... Misato's choice of words sure had a way to stir the young boy's mind. He had kept a long part of the night thinking about it. Of course he had already given it some thought, but never had it been so overpowering before. 'Girlfriend ?' The question kept ringing in his brain. Just one word. One word which carried so much implications. 'Is she my girlfriend ?' The idea thrilled him, but he couldn't talk to her about it, lest he suffered a swift retribution. If the discussion was to be brought up, she would be the one to do it.



It was the only thing he could think about, consequently, he wasn't able to suppress the grimace which contorted his features when he heard the blow directed at his fellow pilot.



"What is it ? What did she do ?" Kensuke didn't fail to notice this slip in his friend's composure. Toji's face grew more serious as he put down the bento box to fully concentrate on what Shinji would say.



"Nothing !" he quickly answered. Much too quickly not to be suspicious.



"Very convincing. Come on, tell us !" Toji pressed.



"She was at Hikari's yesterday. How could she have done anything ?" Shinji said, matter-of-factly. He felt guilty for being glad for so many reasons that she wasn't there last night. He had missed her, her presence, her warmth, her scent, but he couldn't deny that it had been convenient for him. And it kept on being convenient, which made him feel even guiltier.



"Oh. Well then, I hope you enjoyed your respite." Kensuke joked. "It must have been nice to have a peaceful evening for once !"



But Shinji just answered "Hmmm." before going back to wallowing in his guilt.



.



.



"I was worried about you." Shinji always felt more comfortable talking in the darkness of their room, when her head was laying on his chest, when she wasn't facing him directly. Since they had told Misato, it was now officially their room, not only hers. That being said, he had slept in his own bed when she wasn't there. He didn't feel comfortable enough yet. He still felt like he would have intruded in her privacy.



"Seriously Ikari, you really need to stop thinking I'm just a helpless little girl !" Asuka shot back, a little annoyed. 'But never stop worrying about me, please.' Her own mind implored.



"I'm sorry... Ouch !" He yelped in pain as Asuka pinched him. He understood why. "It's just that... That you... Y-you looked tired today a-and you haven't had any nightmares since we..." He wasn't sure it was a good idea to talk about this, but he wanted to be honest with her. And he had genuinely been worried about her.



'So you noticed that.' Asuka was surprised, but not in a bad way. "We stayed up late talking." She answered plainly. Shinji, however, had also noticed that Hikari didn't seem as tired as her. "But I had nightmares too. How did you know ?"



He didn't really know how to formulate this. He was sure she would get angry. Against his better judgment, he decided to be truthful with her. "I heard you sometimes before..."



"And you never tried to comfort me ?" She did sound a bit angry.



"I didn't know how ! I-I was sure you'd kick me out of your room, literally." He was getting really nervous now.



'You could have just held me.' Asuka thought. "You could have tried." He was right, she probably would have been really pissed at him for seeing her like this, for pitying her. It wasn't as bad now, she knew it was genuine care, not pity, and she could open up more, even if she kept most of her thoughts and feelings to herself.



"You want to talk about them ?" Shinji inquired, not knowing where to go from this. However, he held her a bit tighter as a response. He was there now. He would comfort her if he could, right now, it was the only thing he could think about.



"No." Her answer was harsh, not leaving any room for discussion. They stayed like this, in each other's arms for some time, in silence. Shinji felt his eyelids getting heavier, the soothing effect of her body against him relaxing him so much that he was almost asleep. "Did you know that Hikari had a crush on one of your stooges ?"



Shinji jolted. He wasn't expecting to be pulled out from sleep. Asuka chuckled at his reaction. "She has a crush on Kensuke ?" He asked, drowsy.



"On Jock Stooge, idiot ! Gott, you really are dense !" She corrected him, smiling. "Anyway, thanks to them, we have our cover now." She added.



"It was well worth getting yelled at then." He barely finished his sentence before yawning.



"Gute Nacht, Dummkopf !" She said softly before planting a soft peck on his lips. A victory, however small, always made her happy, and being able to gloat about it made it even better.



"Good night, Asuka."



.



.



To say that this first lunch they spent together had been awkward was an understatement. Hikari had been thrilled, of course, at first, as well as Asuka and Shinji, even though they didn't show it. Asuka had done a great job at looking deeply annoyed by the situation. In the end, she didn't have to act anymore. The other two didn't seem very happy to have to share this moment of freedom from the painfully dull lessons with the Red Demon and the Pigtailed Dictator. Thus, they all ate in uneasy silence, every small talk and conversation attempts falling flat.



Suffice it to say, Asuka was not happy about that. She hadn't expected the most pleasant lunch break of her life, mainly because it was a silly thing to expect, but at least the two Stooges could have made some efforts. She hadn't spoken much to Shinji on their way to NERV as a consequence, because she didn't want to vent her frustration on him too much, even if it had been his idea in the first place ! As she wasn't sure that she would be able to stay calm, she had settled for quickening her pace, leaving him behind. 'And now I have to go fetch Misato for Doctor Fake Blond. Don't they have phones in this organization ? Gott !' She was about to go change into her plugsuit when she had been asked by Ritsuko.



She found her in the cafeteria, and was pleasantly surprised to see who she was with. Not as much as she thought she would be though, but hey, she still had to act like she was. "Kaji !" She shouted in her cutest voice. She then turned to Misato. "The doc wants to see you." Before turning back to face Kaji, completely ignoring Misato's answer. "So, are you going to buy me a drink ?" She half asked, half demanded in the same mellow voice.



"Sure thing kiddo ! I wanted to show you something !" He said as he selected a drink for his former ward. He knew her well enough not to have to ask her what she wanted. They then walked side by side outside until they reached a small garden in a clearing surrounded by various trees with...



"Watermelons ?" Asuka asked, nonplussed.



"Yeah, aren't they cute ? This is my hobby. Keep it a secret, okay ?" Kaji said cheerily. "Growing... Making something grow is really great. One can see and learn so many things from the process. It also brings pleasure." He had something on his mind, something that he had wanted to talk about with her or Shinji for a while now, so he steered the conversation towards it. Asuka stood still, her eyes on the watermelons, she didn't answer. "Have you found what gives you pleasure, Asuka ?" Kaji continued his monologue.



Images of Shinji came through her mind. A slight smile appeared on her lips. "I don't know." It was an honest answer. Sure, she had something that made her happy right now, but she didn't know if it would last, or even if it was indeed real happiness. There were many questions she still had to answer.



"I think you have..." She turned her head towards him, not sure of where this was going. After a short pause, he continued. "I know about you and Shinji."



Asuka's eyes went wide. "How ? I'm going to kill Misato !" She was annoyed, but not that angry. Kaji was one of the few people she trusted, to a certain extent. She wasn't someone who could trust someone blindly. He was still the only one she wasn't mad at for knowing so much about her past. Even though nobody deserved to know, he had proved himself to her.



"She hasn't told me anything. I checked on you guys when Katsuragi and I came back from the wedding." He paused. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spy on you."



"That night was..." She trailed off, pensive, before her haughtiness came back. "So..." She started on a teasing tone. "How did it make you feel ? Weren't you sad when you understood that you missed your chance with me ? That no woman you'll ever be with will be as good as I am ?" She flicked her hair over her shoulder with her right hand to emphasize her point.



"Missed my chance ? I guess you like the boy more than I would have expected !" He joked, making her blush. She turned her head to hide it.



Asuka was flustered. She hadn't expected her comment to backfire so much. She hadn't expected it to backfire at all, in fact. "I mean..." But she didn't know how to finish that sentence. Having someone tell her this, especially Kaji, had a tremendous effect on her. Indeed, she liked the boy, she trusted him far more than most, she had told him things that almost nobody else knew. She had shared her doubts with him. She had showed him so much in the last days. It scared her. She felt like she was losing herself, that she was losing what characterized her. Yet she couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect as well. She was realizing more and more that she wasn't alone anymore.



Kaji let the silence linger some time before continuing. "Did you tell him ?"



"You know this isn't me... Besides, he knows." She said, staring at the watermelons before her.



Kaji nodded. "Maybe he does. But there are some things that should be said." He trailed off, obviously, it was an advice that stemmed from his own experience. She didn't answer. "You've grown a lot in the last months. It takes a lot of strength to live by oneself, but it takes even more courage to allow others close to you, especially for you." He was about to continue when his phone rang. "Yes ? Hello ?" He paused to listen to his interlocutor. "It's Katsuragi. The sync test will be starting soon."



Asuka took a few steps towards Central Dogma before she stopped. "Thanks, Kaji."



.



.



The next day, Shinji was barely able to contain his impatience. Asuka had been in a good mood since she had reclaimed her position of highest sync ratio holder. She had bragged about it on their way home, during dinner, before sleep and on their way to school in the morning. As a consequence, he was expecting impatiently. Surely, lunch wouldn't go as bad as it had the day before, one might have said that it couldn't. If Asuka was in a good mood, maybe things would be less awkward. When the bell rang, he was about to go to his friends when the school PA system stopped him.



Attention student Toji Suzuhara. Toji Suzuhara, report to the Principal's office.



"What the..." Toji wasn't able to finish his sentence as Kensuke cut him.



"What did you do ?" Kensuke asked. His tone was enough to convey the "again" he left out of the question.



"I don't know." He answered, genuinely unaware as to why he was to go see the Principal. He didn't show it, but he was scared. Scared that it was to tell him bad news about his sister. She was recovering well enough, but it didn't prevent him from being concerned. She was still far from having fully recovered. His fears were mostly unfounded, since she just had some broken bones and some reeducation to undergo, but he couldn't help it. He loved his sister too much not to worry about her.



He thus left the classroom without even looking at anyone else. Shinji's shoulders sagged, today wouldn't be the day when he would see his friends start to get along with Asuka. He was all the more surprised when she tapped on his shoulder.



"So, you guys are coming with us or what ?" She asked, although her tone was neither interrogative, nor amicable.



He looked at her quizzically. "Erm, why ?"



"Because we have to, idiot. You really think I would spend even more time with you if I had a choice ?"



She had to remind him, but finally Shinji got it, they had to keep the act so they wouldn't blow their cover. At that moment, he had really wanted to slap himself. "S-sorry... Kensuke ?" His friend understood and came, albeit reluctantly.



Everyone was surprised at the end of the lunch period. It hadn't been unpleasant, far from it. They had all managed to at least tolerate each other, even if some uneasiness remained. They chatted together about mostly uninteresting things, but it was a major improvement over the previous time. Some insults had been exchanged, of course, but it hadn't soured the mood too much. They had speculated on why Toji had to go see the Principal, talked about how boring their teacher was, about homeworks. Kensuke had talked about his trip to New Yokosuka with Shinji while the girls had talked about themselves as they weren't interested by old warships. All the while, Shinji kept mostly quiet, secretly enjoying every second of this, they all enjoyed it, but Shinji made sure to make the most of it. He had been surprised to receive a message from Kensuke shortly after the class resumed.



Kensuke A. : I really didn't expect the Demon to be able to talk and not scream !



Shinji didn't answer, but he smiled. He assumed it was Kensuke's way of saying that he had enjoyed it too. Maybe there was hope !



Toji came back later and didn't speak a word to anyone. He didn't share Shinji's sentiment. He didn't answer any question, nor did he seem to even hear them. He was too deep in his thoughts. Kensuke tried to press him further to no avail, so he left him moping alone. His impromptu meeting in the Principal's office left him troubled.



'Fourth Child.' He hated his new title. He had accepted because he had managed to have his sister transferred to NERV's hospital, so she would get better treatments, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 'Unit 03's pilot.' He had seen how painful it had been for Shinji when he fought, he had understood why he hated piloting. 'Activation test in two days.' He still hated the Evas himself for what happened to his sister, he had forgiven Shinji, but not NERV.



He still was on duty so he stayed in school longer than everyone, thinking about every implications of being an Eva Pilot. The more he thought about it, the more he thought he had made a mistake. He grabbed a late lunch before he finished his chores. Hikari saw him when she made a last round through the school corridors. She stopped to look at him, not knowing what to say or do. Telling him about duty didn't seem like a good idea.



"Suzuhara ! Are you okay ?" It was the only thing she could think of to break the ice.



"I'm fine. I'll finish my duty after my lunch, don't worry." He said in a flat tone.



Hikari guessed from his body language that he wasn't, but didn't insist. She nodded and left him alone.



After having finished his chores, he went to the basketball court. He stayed there a long time, facing the hoop, still deep in thought. 'I shouldn't have accepted. I should have told that doctor to go to hell !' Yet he couldn't bring himself to run away from it. It was too late of course, and he started to believe that he did belong inside an Evangelion. Now, he would have the power to change things, he would be able to protect his family, his friends, Tokyo-3 and the world. He didn't have to like that, he just had to do it. He threw the ball into the hoop as his resolve hardened. It had taken him excruciatingly long hours to come to this conclusion.



Meanwhile, on the other side of the Pacific Ocean, a gigantic airplane took off, carrying as its cargo the black behemoth which was to become the most defining part of his life.

 

[E.D.C.]

Hi there ! I finally finished a new chapter ! Enjoy !



She held his hand. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world for the both of them. Especially since it was outside of the safety of Misato's apartment ! Well, it was in the elevator on their way home, but still.



Sure, they had already done more, but this was different. Ever since her conversation with Kaji, Asuka's curiosity had reached impossible heights. It had taken her some time but finally the need to verify some theories had been too much. And yes. Holding his hand, this simple action, made her feel better. It soothed her. She had already come to terms with the fact that she liked him, yet she still felt the need to prove it to herself. She didn't know if she refused to believe it, or if she just couldn't.



Shinji, for his part, was elated. Everything in his life right now was going so well ! Asuka was getting along well enough with at least one of his friends, he had people who cared about him, and now this. Feeling Asuka's fingers intertwined with his was almost enough to make his mind go blank. He had the feeling that this was going to be a great night.



The elevator ride had been far too short according to them both, and as soon as it disappeared, they missed the sensation of the other's fingers. Two troubled teenagers thus entered the apartment in silence. The girl went straight to her room while the boy stopped in the kitchen. A few seconds later Asuka came back to the kitchen with a bundle of clothes in her arms and just announced. "I'm going to take a shower."



"Just a shower ?" Shinji asked and immediately regretted it. He needed time to prepare everything for Asuka, but he couldn't have been less subtle about it. "... I-I mean... Dinner won't be ready for a while... If you want, you can take your time." He justified himself. Or at least tried to. He knew that Asuka always took her time in the bathroom, but tonight he needed all the time he could get.



Asuka bought it. Though she also understood that her roommate had something on his mind. " What is it, Third Child ?"



"N-Nothing !" He answered much too quickly, and his stuttering didn't help either. "It's just that I'm trying something I haven't done before tonight. So I might take some time to get it right." This was true enough.



"Come on. Spit it out." She demanded menacingly.



Defeated, Shinji's head dropped, his shoulders slumped. "I wanted to surprise you... Sorry."



Asuka couldn't hide her surprise upon hearing that 'He wants to do something for me ? But why ? And Gott why did I have to ruin everything ? Well played, Soryu.' She didn't even react on his unjustified apology.



"I'm going to take a bath." She just replied, hoping this would be enough. "Just... Let me know when you're ready."



Shinji raised his head just in time to see her disappear towards the bathroom. He sighed in relief and smiled to himself.



.



.



Almost two hours later. Shinji had done everything he had to do. If only Asuka hadn't been as inquisitive, the surprise would have been perfect. Two hours was the bare minimum for her when she felt like taking a bath. He never really knew what she was doing in there for that long, he never understood what was so appealing in soaking in one's own bad memories.



Pen Pen had been very happy to get his whole fridge back. And Shinji was relieved not to have to suffer the penguin's passive-aggressive behavior anymore. Shinji could have sworn that every time he wanted to walk somewhere in the apartment, there was something for him to step on or to make him stumble. His toothbrush and other personal belongings also disappeared and reappeared in incongruous places. Shinji thought that it was a bit over the top, but endured it nonetheless.



He had called Misato, almost too late, but she had dismissed his worries with encouragements and just a little bit of teasing which had made him squirm.



The table was set, the food was in the fridge, the sausages wouldn't take long to cook. "You can come out, Asuka." She stormed out of the bathroom and into the dining room before he had finished his sentence, wearing an over-sized shirt and a pair of cotton shorts. "How long have you been waiting ?" Shinji asked, not even trying to hide his surprise.



"So, what is it ?" She ignored him. She knew she should have waited a little longer but she just couldn't. So she concealed her embarrassment by looking for anything that was out of the ordinary. The table was set nicely, but there was no plates. She kept looking around her when she noticed something very peculiar. "Where is the TV ?"



"I-I moved it into my room. I r-rented a movie." Having to rush through everything in order to be as fast as possible not to keep her "locked up" in the bathroom for too long had occupied his mind, but his nervousness came back to him as soon as she had entered the room.



"And it took you that long ?" She asked sneeringly. "You really should put some muscles on that body of yours."



"I cooked too." He answered coldly, a bit hurt.



"I was kidding Shinji ! What do we eat ?"



It took him a few seconds to regain his composure. 'Shinji ? Did I hear that right ? She called me by my name, without insults or anything ?' He couldn't believe it, it had already happened, but so rarely that it always had the same effect on him. "W-we should watch the movie first..."



"I know. It doesn't matter. I'm hungry !" She said, smiling.



It took him a few minutes finish his preparations. Asuka was sitting at the kitchen table, intently watching him while getting her nostrils filled with the delicious smell of cooked sausages. Shinji then put two plates on the tables.



"Kartoffelsalat ? I hope it wasn't too difficult." She said sarcastically. Too sarcastically, in fact. "I really appreciate it. It looks very good, thanks." She added with a smile, reaching to Shinji's hand with her own.



Shinji blushed. "You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find proper ingredients for western food here." This lightened the mood, Asuka's comment was already forgotten and they ate in silence. Shinji remembered that had they watched the movie first, they would have had something to talk about, but this wasn't uncomfortable, quite the contrary. They both were enjoying just being together, and even if it tasted a bit strange to him, he liked the food nonetheless. Asuka was too, she was savoring each and every bite she took, for once, not shoveling it in her mouth as fast as possible. "Y-You didn't put your hair clips back, I l-like when you let your hair down." Shinji said shyly.



Asuka blushed as well and decided to change the subject after a few seconds of relatively awkward silence. "Gott I didn't know I'd miss proper food that much. That really was a nice surprise Third Child !" She was feeling a bit homesick however. Not that she considered that she had a proper "home". She didn't consider the house she lived in with her father or NERV Berlin home. But she missed her country. She had spent the first thirteen years of her life there, Germany was her home. A home where she didn't stand out as much in a crowd, a home which had shaped her into the young woman she was. She was starting to feel a bit melancholic, so she put those feelings aside for now. "Some sake would go along nicely with this !"



"But Asuka..." She cut him.



"I know I know, we're too young to drink alcohol. Gott, you're no fun !" She said playfully.



"Do you want dessert ?" Shinji asked when they had both finished their plate.



Asuka had stuffed herself with the main course, since she hadn't been expecting more. She was about to politely decline when Shinji took said dessert out of the fridge. "Black forest cake ?! Don't tell me you made it yourself !"



"I did." Shinji simply stated, blushing, again, understanding from her reaction he had made a good choice.



"What are you, stupid ? Of course I want some ! You could have told me before !" Shinji cut two slices and put them on the table. As soon as Asuka's plate touched the table, she pounced on the dessert as if she had been starving for weeks. "That's so good ! One of the best I've ever eaten !" She said with her mouth full, not caring anymore about good manners. If she were being honest, she wouldn't have said that. It was his first time baking it, after all. But the intention, the care behind it, and the fact tat she hadn't eaten Black Forest cake since before she left Germany largely compensated for his lack of practice. "You do realize that from now on, you're going to have to make me more anytime I'll ask, right ?" She sighed in contentment as she finished her plate, rubbing her stomach contently with her right hand. "Let's go to your room !" Shinji blushed upon hearing that. "To watch the movie, pervert." She paused and smirked. "I ate way too much to do anything else." She added teasingly. 'And I spend way too much time with Misato !' She added mentally.



Shinji fell off his chair and quickly stood up, trying -and failing miserably- to look as if nothing happened. They both went to his room. He had installed the TV across from his bed and had brought every pillows and blankets he felt comfortable taking so that they would have a cozy place to watch the movie in.



It was nothing much, but Asuka was really pleasantly surprised. "Why your room ?" She asked.



"It doesn't have windows. So nobody will be able to-to s-spy on us." When he realized what he had said, he blushed even more. He tried to cover himself by adding. "It's the only place we're sure Section 2 will not watch."



He didn't see how much Asuka blushed as well. She said nothing as she flopped on the small bed. She gestured him to come next to her, then showed her appreciation and thankfulness by snuggling as close to him as possible, wrapping him in her arms. "Thank you, Shinji." She murmured before kissing him passionately. "This night is getting better by the minute." She said giddily. Shinji couldn't answer and just pressed play on the remote. The movie started with Henry Purcell's music and a black screen, then the images shown train tracks filmed from above, then a typical pre-Second Impact western Europe landscape from a train window...



.



.



"You know, I wasn't really sold on a romantic movie, but this one was really good." Asuka whispered to break the silence. They had been holding each other on Shinji's bed for the entire film, snuggling against each other to be as comfortable as possible, but none of them spoke a single word before the ending credits started to roll. It was a simple story, a boy meets a girl in a train and decide to stay together in Vienna for the night. Talking and learning about each other in the process.



"It was nice seeing Europe. Does it still look like this ?"



"Austria isn't Germany, but it looks similar enough. It's not completely like this though. Second Impact messed things up pretty bad in Germany too." She paused. Again, getting brought back to her youth in Europe. It's not that she disliked Japan. In fact, the more she lived there, the more she liked it, for several reasons. But still, she was a stranger, a gaijin, in this country. It had been disturbing enough when she started dreaming -or having nightmares- in Japanese instead of German. She felt like she was losing her roots. Again, she mentally blocked those thoughts for the time being. Shinji had not wanted to make her wistful with this. He wanted to make her happy, and thus, there was something that she wanted to return the favor. "You know... They kind of reminded me of us..." She was looking at a dark corner of Shinji's room. "They started talking and fell..." She quickly corrected herself. "And got closer..." Then trailed off. "But it has only been one sided. For us I mean... When I talked to Kaji yesterday, he told me one thing..." Shinji was unsettled as seeing Asuka like this. She wasn't her usual self. She sounded scared, almost timid. "I guess what I want to say is..." She paused, gathering her courage. She paused for a long time. The silence was getting heavier in the room but he didn't want to interrupt her. Whatever she wanted to say, she would say when she would have decided. He wasn't about to try and force her to say anything. He just held her a bit tighter.



The silence was broken by something. It took Shinji several seconds to realize that it was his phone. He was startled, already thinking that it was to tell him there was an Angel attack. Asuka showed some signs of frustration but she let him pick up it up. She stayed close to him to listen though.



"Hello ?" Shinji asked nervously.



"Shin-man. I'm outside. Open, I have something important to tell you."



As soon as Shinji hung up the phone, Asuka exploded. "Gott I'm going to kill that Stooge !" She yelled as she bolted towards the front door.



"Asuka wait, if you open the door he'll suspect something !" Shinji pleaded, but Asuka's rage made it impossible for her to listen to reason.



"What the Hell are you doing here ?!" She screamed as soon as the front door opened.



If Toji had been surprised at seeing Asuka opening the door instead of Shinji, he didn't show it."Not now. Please, Asuka."



He had never called her by her name before, so she understood that this was something important. Her anger receded a little as a consequence. "Okay. But you're going to pay for this."



"Stay with us. You have to know too." Toji said before sitting at the kitchen table, seemingly not noticing the incriminating evidence all over it. When the three Children were seated, he sighed heavily before speaking. "I'm the Fourth Child."



.



.



The night didn't offer much rest for Shinji and Asuka. Toji didn't stay long after his announcement. It would have been useless. If he had come there for comfort, it wasn't being provided by the other two Children. The three of them had stayed silent for some time, Shinji in utter shock, Asuka between disbelief and anger, Toji was expecting something, anything, that never came, which eventually prompted his decision to leave.



Consequently, the next day was just as bad. None of the Children were in the mood for small talk, Toji wasn't even in class this day, so all of the members of their little group ate alone. '



'Why did he have to be the Fourth Child ? It doesn't make sense !' Asuka was furious. 'This Stooge will be more of a liability on the battlefield than anything else ! We'll have to hold his hand and make sure he doesn't get hurt rather than focusing on the Angels !.. It's not his hand I'd like to hold ! Aaargh ! And he couldn't have come at a worst moment too !' Her frustration had reached peak intensity since her aborted attempt at talking to Shinji. 'Everything seemed so easy in that movie, so natural, why can't I tell him what I need to tell him like that ? I'm really trying, Shinji... I just can't !' She dropped her head in frustration and disappointment, stifling a sigh with her hands.



Toji for his part was at school, just not in class. At lunch break, he moved to a roof where no one ever came in order not to be disturbed during his introspection. He was disturbed nevertheless by someone.



"Suzuhara..." Rei said to attract his attention.



"Oh, Ayanami, if you're looking for Shinji, he isn't here... You know about it, don't you ?" He paused for a second. "That's funny, you're the last one I expected to come talk to me out of the three of you..." He sounded empty, no emotions at all transpired from his voice. "It's pretty rare for you to be concerned about someone else."



"Really ? I'm not sure I understand." She replied as undemonstratively as him.



"You care about Shinji." Toji stated the obvious, even if it was more obvious for him than her.



"His well being is indeed important to me." Rei realized.



'Thanks for thinking about my well being.' "Yeah. You definitely have something for him." He didn't understand how the conversation came to this point, even though he was the one who brought the subject in the first place. He was getting less and less comfortable with it. The rational part of his mind knew that Rei wouldn't offer him any help on the subject that was troubling him, but it hadn't stopped him from hoping.



She pondered the idea for some time "I don't think so. Furthermore, it would be inappropriate for me to interfere between Pilot Ikari and Pilot Soryu."



"You mean they..? That would explain why Soryu was so pissed yesterday." He trailed off.



"I am only speculating. I have no certitudes as of yet." This information would have made him blow a fuse normally. He would have questioned his friend on his betrayal until he would have confessed, but he was much to preoccupied by his own problems to pay it any heed.



Shinji left the classroom as soon as the bell rang, in silence. He isolated himself as well. He didn't want anyone to be the unfortunate victim of his anger.



'Father, why did you do this ?' He had reflected on this all night, and came to the conclusion that the person responsible for Toji being a pilot was the one who made him come to Tokyo-3 in the first place, the one who was also responsible for all his suffering. 'Why do you always do this ? Why do you do everything you can to destroy everything I care about ? Why...' His blood froze in his veins at that moment. 'He must never find out about Asuka. I can't stand the idea of something happening to her.' His fears for Toji were not forgotten, but they weren't on the forefront of his mind anymore either.



.



.



As tired as he was, Shinji still couldn't sleep. Even Asuka's presence couldn't calm him and allow him a much needed rest. He didn't blame her for sleeping though, she had always been more pragmatic than him, not to mention less attached to Toji. He had pondered for some time why she was asleep now and not the night before, but couldn't find any answer.



The more he tried to convince himself there was no use in staying awake, that it wouldn't change who was to pilot Unit 03, the more frustrated he got. With himself, mainly, but on a broader level with everything. It was unfair for Toji to be a pilot, to have to suffer like he suffered against the Angels. He managed to free himself from Asuka's embrace without waking her and went to the balcony from the door in her room, leaving it slightly ajar not to wake her up with the sound it could make. Maybe some fresh air would relax him, maybe.



"Kaji-San ? You're not asleep ?" He was surprised to see him on the balcony as well, a cigarette in his mouth.



"No, not yet." Kaji whispered back without turning his head from the horizon.



Shinji decided it was a good opportunity to learn some things. "What's my father like ?"



"Well, there's a surprise question." Kaji retorted with his usual grin forming on his lips. "I thought you'd ask about Asuka. Or even Katsuragi."



"It seems like you're always with my father." Kaji was trying to dodge the question, but Shinji needed answers. He blamed his father for what was happening, and he needed to understand why is father was acting like he was.



"Commander Fuyutsuki is the one who's always with him. Have you been asking around about your father ?" He took one last drag before flipping his cigarette over the railing.



"I haven't been around him much." He tried to keep his frustration to himself.



"So, you don't really know him ?" Kaji asked, trying to find a new angle to divert the conversation from this subject. 'The boy doesn't need to know how much of an asshole his father is.'



"I thought I had learned about him lately. About his work, about my mother... But I just don't know anymore." This time he failed.



"People really don't understand themselves Shinji. So they can't understand each other. Understanding 100% of anything is impossible. That's why we spend so much time trying to understand our own motivations and those of others. That's what makes life so interesting." 'And boy, let me tell you, you won't get bored if you try to understand your father !' He joked to himself, his smile getting a little wider.



"Does that mean you don't understand Misato-San either ?" Shinji asked, deadpan, wiping Kaji's grin out of his face.



He took a second before answering. "The kanji we use for the word "she" literally means "woman far away". Women will always be on the distant shore of a great gulf of misunderstanding. The current dividing men and women is deeper than the ocean." Kaji said with philosophy. He had come to terms with this theory already, and he felt it was a thing that Shinji needed to know.



Shinji kept silent for some time, thinking about what he just heard. "Then I'll do everything to reach Asuka on the other side. Or I'll spend my life trying !" He knew Asuka hadn't told him everything about her, and that he didn't understand everything that made her who she was, but he also knew that he genuinely thought every single word he just said.



"You really mean it, don't you ?" Kaji knew this was a rhetorical question, which was promptly confirmed by Shinji nodding his head, a determined frown set on his face. "You guys just might be able to do it, you know. You both are more similar than you think."



"She's the strongest person I know. I'm scared that one day she'll wake up and realize how much better she would be if I wasn't in her life !" Shinji said honestly. "I'm not anything like her ! I'm weak, I'm pathetic, I'm worthless !" Shinji raised his voice. He wasn't whispering anymore, in fact, he was almost screaming when he finished his sentence. He was about to continue when Kaji interrupted him.



"You're not !" Kaji's didn't raise his voice, but spoke with much more passion and authority now. "Just think back to what you've accomplished since you arrived in Tokyo-3. You climbed into the Eva and protected us every time we needed you to. With barely any hesitation ! You stood in harm's way to protect everyone around you ! You found someone who needs you, even if she might never admit it, to you or anyone else." He turned his gaze to look Shinji in the eyes. "You are braver than you think, Shinji. And you should endeavor to prove it to her." He paused briefly for emphasis. "And more importantly to yourself."



Shinji wasn't expecting such an outburst, or so much praising. It made him feel better, even if he still had trouble believing it. "I... I will. For her. She's well worth the effort." He paused. "Thank you, Kaji-San." The long-haired man's little speech shook him. Maybe people had a better opinion of him than he thought.



'You're right, she is... And I know someone else who is...' He thought, this little conversation was almost enough to make him rethink the importance of his quest for the truth. "Goodnight, Shinji."



Silently, Shinji went back to bed. Asuka had her back turned to him, so he couldn't see the stray tear which escaped her eye as she closed them. 'I'm not, baka Shinji. I really am not.'



.



.



The next day, the sun was scorching in Matsushiro. But the Fourth Child, Toji Suzuhara, designated pilot of Evangelion Unit 03 didn't have trouble breathing because of the stifling heat. It was because it was the second time in his life that he had to breathe a liquid, and the first time that he had time to think about how much LCL smelled like blood.



The first time, he had been too scared to even register what was happening, then too stunned at seeing his friend fight for his life inside the Evangelion.



For their lives.



He had been asked to get into his entry-plug while they finished preparations for the test. 'First they make me sit through a boring briefing for hours too damn early in the morning ! And why ? I just need to sit still and focus on my "link" with the Eva. It could have taken three seconds ! Then they make me wait, doing nothing for the better part of the day and now I'm waiting, again, bored out of my mind, again, in this entry-plug, while those nerds finish their calculations on whatever... Well, at least my plugsuit looks cool.' He was about to settle in more comfortably to take a nap when a voice shattered his hopes of dozing off.



"Pilot Suzuhara, we're initiating the activation test. Get ready." It was the voice of Dr Akagi, he thought as he grabbed the butterfly handles, closing his eyes and breathing the foul-smelling liquid deeply.



His heart accelerated, and he was pretty sure he was sweating, but he couldn't be sure since it would instantly dissolve into the LCL. 'Here goes nothing.' He grimly thought as the techs spoke over the comm which he wasn't paying attention to, too focused on this particular moment. The tension he hadn't felt throughout the day hitting him full force right now. He wasn't a Pilot before. He still wasn't a Pilot. But he was going to be. Any second now. He thought about Shinji, and regretted again that he punched him as his heart threatened to break through his ribcage. He thought about his sister, who was getting better treatments now that she had been transferred. Thanks to this. He would be able to protect her from now on.



The entry-plug's walls turned from black to the kaleidoscope of colors and patterns which signified the Eva's activation before settling on a view of the outside world. An Eva cage, steel and concrete everywhere, ensnaring the giant war machine. Toji didn't have time to admire the "view", however, as his world turned white just a second later.



It was at this moment that the Matsushiro Secondary Experiment Facility disappeared in a gigantic explosion.



.



.



A/N : Another one down ! I had this chapter mostly typed for the longest time, but I got stuck towards the end and I just couldn't manage to find what to write, so I procrastinated for a long time before forcing myself to go back and finish it ! I really didn't expect Shinji of all characters to be the hardest to develop for me ! Also, I adopted a second cat, not really interesting, I know, but I can use him as an excuse, he doesn't like when I type because it wakes him up !



On an other note, I think I finally found my ending. Took me long enough ! I'm still not sure though and sometimes, I wish there would be someone I could bounce ideas at to see if they are good or just plain stupid !



I'm still looking for a good image for my cover. I'm pretty sure this one is good enough, but maybe the grass is greener somewhere else !



To conclude, I have to say that I'm sorry. I really wanted to have the fight against Bardiel in this chapter, but I kinda got carried away. The vast majority of this fic is planned, but I'm still unable to precisely know what my chapters will contain.



Anyway, thanks again to everyone who reads this. It really means a lot. If you have something to say, don't hesitate to review !



Bye !

I just copy/pasted my doc file so this time you have my notes and stuff, not really important, but they're there nonetheless !

 

[E.D.C.]

I delayed this chapter long enough ! It's been a few days since I finished it, modifying something now and then but I have to post it ! If I did something completely wrong, please tell me !




The setting sun was bathing everything in an orange hue. Eva Unit 01 was slouched next to a small mountain in order to preserve its power. Having deployed the Evas this far of Tokyo-3 meant that the city would most likely be safe, but it caused logistics problems when it came to powering the humanoid weapons. Numerous rows of huge generators were installed next to power lines to provide the necessary electricity. Unit 01 was facing west, giving Shinji a beautiful view of the sunset over the mountain range. However, he wasn't interested in sightseeing at the moment.



"An accident in Matsushiro ?! No way ! What happened to Misato and Toji ?" He exclaimed with worry.



"Contact hasn't been restored yet." Rei replied only through her radio, which puzzled Shinji a little.



"But then, what will we do ?" He was clearly scared. Every time he went to battle, Misato had always been there to guide him. Even if he had disobeyed her orders at times, he always trusted her to have his best interest in mind during those encounters. The only exception was against the ninth Angel, Matarael, but even then, Asuka had told him what to do. She was too far away from him today to be able to come up with a plan that would help them defeat this new Angel.



"Stop whining !" Asuka scolded him as she opened a direct video channel between them both. "There's nothing else we can do now !"



"But how can we fight Angels by ourselves ?" She shot him a look of a mix between disbelief and annoyance. There were three of them against only one, and among them was a trained soldier, a genius who had learned about combat strategies. She discussed with herself whether she should answer or just ignore him when Rei took the decision for her.



"Commander Ikari will take command now." Rei's face appeared next to Asuka's, in her own video feed. Had he thought about it, he would have found it strange that the camera from Unit 00 would be behind the pilot, but what he just learned was far more important.



"My father will..." He trailed off, on the one hand reassured to have someone in command of this operation, and on the other, upset that this someone happened to be his father.



.



.



Shinji had waited for what seemed like hours for something to happen, but the reality was that it was closer to only one if the position of the sun was to be any indication. His introspection and moping were interrupted when Shigeru spoke. "Target is approaching."



"All units prepare for ground combat." Makoto chimed in through the pilots' radios as well.



Shinji raised his head and squinted his eyes in a vain attempt to shield them from the light of the setting sun. A black silhouette was approaching slowly just between Unit 01 and the sun. Activating his Eva's built in zoom, he managed to identify the black shape better. "No way ! An Angel ? Is this an Angel ?" He asked.



"Is this my birthday ?" Asuka exclaimed ecstatically, unaware that she had just interrupted NERV's Supreme Commander. "I get to beat up Jock Stooge today ?"



"Correct, this is the target." replied said Supreme Commander.



"But this is an Eva ! Toji's piloting it !"



"That's all the more reason !" Asuka said as she willed her Eva to stand. "Unit 02, engaging !"



"Asuka ! You can't !"



"Watch me !" She answered cheerily, raising her rocket launcher. "Fire !" A gigantic rocket shot out of her weapon, then another, and another. They flew rapidly towards their target before exploding against the familiar octagonal orange shield. "It's an Eva, idiot ! And an Angel ! It has an AT-field, don't worry about him !" She kept on firing her rocket launcher with a smile on her face. It quickly vanished however when her target jumped at an impossible height. Her combat training allowed her not to be too disoriented when the targeting system of her Eva made it move on its own accord, following the enemy while still shooting rockets until the magazine was empty. She had raised her AT-field as she had kept unloading her weapon at Unit 03. It didn't help, however, when the black behemoth pierced through the smoke, and her AT-field, and landed directly on her with an ear-piercing noise which Shinji heard through the comm window before it turned to static. He still heard Asuka scream from the top of her lungs over the sound of metal crashing against metal, of what sounded like giant fists bludgeoning something metallic before the communication became completely silent.



He had watched the scene from afar, he mainly saw explosions moving very slowly towards him, then in the air, like inverted fireworks. Black explosions which stood out against the red sun. He could see Unit 03 fall from the sky and saw that the last shots managed to make it deviate slightly from its trajectory.



"Asuka !" Shinji shouted at the comm window, but he received no answer. "Unit 01, moving to engage !" He shouted with determination and urgency.



"No." This lone word was enough to freeze his blood in his veins and his Eva at the same time. "You shall remain at your current location. You are the last line of defense in case Rei fails."



Shinji wanted to disagree. Every muscle in his body screamed for him to run and go help Asuka. His father's voice carried far too much authority over him. He reluctantly went back to his initial position. 'What are you doing ?' He asked his father in his mind only. Now was not the time for a father and son discussion. He heard one of the techs saying that Asuka was alive in her entry-plug. It would have to be enough for the time being.



A little further away, Rei was waiting behind a mountain which provided her cover and concealment from the Angel. She could hear its steps as it came closer.



"Rei, avoid close range combat and stop the target. I'm sending Unit 01 in now." Commander Ikari said. It was a lie of course, but it wasn't important. Rei wouldn't doubt his words, she would do what she was meant to do. What she was born for.



"Roger." Rei simply answered, trying to focus on the battle. She was struggling, however. One of her fellow pilot was down. A second was imprisoned inside an Angel, maybe he was conscious. Forced to watch as his Eva was attacking the people he knew. The third pilot was upset because of what was happening. It was the main reason why she couldn't fully concentrate on the task at hand. She knew that Shinji was attached to the other two pilots, and that them being hurt was hurting him as well. She also knew that he wouldn't be able to destroy this Angel if it meant injuring his friend in the process. Or worse. She had to do something. She had to help him. She had to be the one to destroy this Angel so that Shinji wouldn't have to. Maybe he would hate her for that, but it was according to her the best alternative.



The Eva walked on her left side, a few dozen meters away, seemingly unaware of her presence and continued on its way. It looked like an animal. It walked without coordination. Its arms hanging on its sides, not moving with the steps it took. Its mouth was opened and shown red teeth. Its eyes looked like Unit 01's, the same menacing shape and white light. It took a few more steps before abruptly stopping and convulsing on its legs as if the pilot was fighting inside to regain control over it. It hunched forward before jumping again and landing on Unit 00, pinning it face first to the ground, its right arm squeezing its neck.



The impact made Rei dizzy for a second before the pain in her cheek made her come to her sense. The first thing she realized was that she couldn't move. The whole weight of Unit 03 was enough to prevent her Eva from any useful movement. 'I can't let him face this by himself.' Rei thought as she started wriggling under her enemy. Her Eva's right arm tried to grab onto something to help her pry herself free. The Angel let go of Unit 00's neck, only to punch the back of its head with uncanny violence in order to keep its enemy in place. Rei didn't feel the impacts as much as if she had received them directly, but it had been enough to make her head spin. Her fading consciousness made each blow a little bit less painful than the one preceding it. Her vision was getting darker and darker, the pain was becoming fainter and fainter. When the black Eva was satisfied with Unit 00's lack of movement, it released a pinkish ooze from its left arm, which poured in heavy drops on Unit 00's arm. Rei barely registered the pain in her numbness and didn't try to fight back. She could only faintly ear what sounded like the Commander's voice giving an order through her ringing ears before she jumped and screamed when an exploding pain ran through her left arm before her Eva was remotely deactivated. She grabbed her left shoulder with her right hand and reluctantly turned her head with greeted teeth, expecting to see her arm severed from her body as it had been the case for her Eva.



The Angel was now back up, looking down on its fallen prey for a few seconds before resuming its journey towards its mission.



Shinji heard everything through the comm system in awe, refusing to believe what was happening.



"Unit 00 is severely damaged. The pilot is wounded." Maya had just said.



"No way..."



"The target is approaching you. It will contact you in T-minus 20. You must destroy it." His father said as stoically as always.



"But this target is... Toji's in there, isn't he ?" Shinji stated coolly. "Another friend of mine." He had his pallet rifle raised and pointing at the rogue Eva, but the conflict in his mind at the moment stopped him from pulling the trigger. Unit 03 roared devilishly before jumping at Unit 01 feet first, shattering the latter's weapon in the process. Unit 01 landed on its back as the 13th Angel landed on all fours, which made it possible for Shinji to see the Entry-plug protruding from the former Eva's back. "An Entry-plug. Toji's in there, just as I thought." He said as he made his Eva stand up. Unit 03 launched its right arm which extended impossibly until it took a hold of Unit 01's neck, then the left arm, strangling Shinji in the process. It pinned down its enemy against a hill, its hands firmly grasping the other's neck and squeezing. Shinji was struggling to get air into his lungs, refusing to pass out, yet not doing anything to remove the appendages obstructing his throat.



"Shinji, why don't you fight ?" His father's brought him back to reality and helped him focus on something else than his current lack of oxygen.



"Toji's in there, Father !" he answered with ragged breath.



"Irrelevant ! It is an Angel ! Our enemy !" Gendo growled, losing his calm against his disobedient son.



"But... But I can't !" He was getting desperate, facing this Cornelian choice. "I must help him ! I can't kill !"



"If you don't, you will die."



"I'd rather die !" He said, his choice made. "Two of my friends have already been hurt. I won't be responsible for another one !"



"Cut all synchronization between the pilot and Unit 01. Do it now." Was the only answer his father gave.



"Cut it ?" Maya interjected disbelievingly.



"Correct. Switch the control circuit to the dummy plug."



"But the dummy plug still isn't functioning properly." Maya tried, and failed, to reason. "Without Dr Akagi's approval..."



"It's still better than the pilot. Do It !"



"Yes, Sir." Maya caved in.



Shinji had heard all of the exchange through the comm link, but couldn't pay it very much attention. He was trying his best to keep breathing until the inside of his entry-plug turned black and he finally was able to breathe unhindered. The view from the outside world came back quickly though, with a red hue when the dummy system activated. "What is it ?.. What in the hell are you doing, Father ?!" He shouted, not wanting to believe what he was imagining. The only answer he got was his Eva's hands moving on their own, getting higher and higher until finally they reached Unit 03's neck and tightened. Unit 01 barely struggled before overpowering its foe, gaining the upper ground and applying more and more force on its hold until finally, the Angel's neck gave in and broke under the pressure, its limbs going limp while it let out a final growl of agony.



The purple Eva wasn't finished however. It threw its now silent enemy on the ground and punched its head with such incredible strength that it exploded in a fountain of blood and bones, splattering everything around it. It then grabbed onto its breastplate and tore it, throwing it away before keeping its assault.



"Stop this !" Shinji screamed over the comm as its Eva was keeping on pummeling the lifeless Eva Unit 03. "Father, no ! Stop doing this now !" He was shaking the butterfly handles frantically in a vain hope to regain control of his behemoth.



He watched powerlessly as his friend was getting destroyed with his own hands until something hit his Eva from the side and sent it crashing several meters away from the bloodbath. When he regained enough of his senses, he saw through the cockpit the silhouette of Unit 02 standing before it "What are you doing idiot ? It's dead !"



Asuka was indeed alive. She had been knocked out by Unit 03 but came to with the noises of destruction made by Unit 01. Her Eva was standing victoriously before it as it struggled to stand up. "Asuka ! Go away ! I'm not controlling anything !" Shinji just had time to say before his Eva threw a vicious punch in Unit 02's midsection. It was enough to make the red Eva flinch, but it didn't go down. On the contrary, it used its new position to lunge at Unit 01 head first, tackling it to the ground. Asuka didn't stop there. She stood back up and tried to reach the umbilical cable. She managed to grab it, but Unit 01 used Asuka's lack of focus to its advantage, elbowing Unit 02 on the back of the head then punching it violently in the ribs several times. Asuka shouted in pain at each blow while Shinji was still maniacally shaking the butterfly handles. It then seized it by the torso before lifting it face down, then threw it with inhuman strength as far as it could. Asuka cursed in German before crashing against the mountainside. She had always hated falling in her Eva, not only because falling is seldom an enjoyable experience, but also because her inner ear and brain never managed to understand what was happening. She always felt dizzy and a little sick when it happened. As if it weren't already enough, her spine felt like it broke at the impact. Seeing Unit 02 not standing back up, Unit 01 returned to its original target.



It turned it over and grabbed the Entry-plug with its right hand and started squeezing it. The massive purple hand was shaking with the effort. "Damn ! Stop ! Stop it ! Stop it ! Stop it ! Stop it ! Stop it !" Shinji begged as the metal of the Entry-plug was starting to bend under the pressure.



"Arschloch !" Asuka shouted as Unit 02 stabbed Shinji's Eva's forearm with its Progressive Knife and twisted the vibrating blade inside the wound, making it release the cylinder which fell on the ground in a loud ringing noise. "This stupid autopilot should make sure its target is really done before turning its back on it ! By the way, idiot, when I'll tell this story, I'll make sure to tell your friends that you were going to kill Jock Stooge ! They'll ditch your ass and I'll be the hero !" Asuka badmouthed him in order to give her courage, and also because she wanted revenge for Unit 01's last move ! She knew he wasn't responsible for what was happening and she also understood rather quickly what the dummy plug was capable of. She had to stay focused and not expose any weaknesses if she was to win this fight. She pulled out her knife from Unit 01's arm and took a defensive stance a few steps away, making the knife pivot in her Eva's hand so that the blade was facing downward and putting her left hand opened in front of her, ready for a counterattack. Which never came. The purple giant stood still, as if paralyzed. Shinji was back in the darkness, the dummy plug had been deactivated.



.



.



Two days later, Shinji woke up in a hospital bed. His injuries were not really serious, even if a case could have been made for his larynx. The doctors had decided to keep him sedated for some time in order to help his recovery. The first thing he noticed was as a consequence a familiar ceiling which he had learned to hate. He then noticed someone on the bed next to his. "Toji ?.." He silently stood up and left the room, not daring to look, out of shame and self-loathing, at his friend who was lying in this hospital bed because of him. He couldn't bare the idea of having hurt him. He thus went to the reception desk. "Uhm... Sorry... Could you please tell me in which room Asuka Langley Soryu is ?" He asked hesitantly, almost too scared to go and see for himself what he had done to her as well. What gave him the courage to ask was what he had told her that night. That he would always be there for her.



The nurse, a woman in her mid forties with black hair tied in a bun raised her gaze from her computer screen and studied him for a few seconds before answering. "Oh, mister Ikari. I'm afraid she hasn't been checked in the hospital after the fight." She looked at her watch. "She must be home then !" She said with a smile, then added awkwardly after a pause. "I've always wanted to say thank you... You know, for saving us all, battle after battle..."



She was still talking but Shinji couldn't pay attention to her. He knew he wanted to see Asuka, but that was it. He was still hazy after waking up from what must have been anesthetics induced slumber. He just nodded when he didn't hear the nurse's voice anymore.



"Can I help you with something else ?" She added warmly when she saw him still standing there.



He shook his head to clear his mind. "Are my clothes here ?"



"I'm really sorry. But we can have them brought from your locker. We have received orders from Major Katsuragi, you can leave as soon as they arrive."



"Can I use your phone then ?" Clearly he didn't care about leaving the hospital.



Realizing her mistake, she replied too enthusiastically. "Oh ! Sure ! Anything for you, mister Ikari !" She handed him the wireless phone. He walked a few feet away towards the exit before dialing the number of the apartment. He waited until he heard the beginning of the recorded message of the answering machine. He hung the phone up and gave it back to the nurse. "Is Rei Ayanami here ?"



.



.



"Disobeying orders, personal occupation of an Eva, attack on one of your fellow Pilots, partial destruction of an Eva... These are all criminal offenses. Do you have anything to say ?"



Asuka had spent the last two days in a cell in the depths of NERV. They at least had the decency to bring her fresh clothes. So she was there, in the Commander's gigantic office, clad in her school uniform and her wrists restrained with triple cuffs. Her hair was a mess, she had not been allowed to take a shower so they were sticky because of the dried LCL. She had taken down her hair clips and rearranged it in a ponytail to make it look at least presentable enough. Her lower ribcage was bandaged under her uniform. It was uncomfortable for her to breathe, and the lingering pain didn't help either. She was frowning, and was probably just about to explode. "My actions were necessary. I saved a Pilot and his Eva. I don't think Pilot Ikari has been injured because of what I did." She hadn't heard him scream when she stabbed his Eva. "I think this small cut is not important compared to having another Unit at our disposal."



"Not important ?" Gendo was really displeased upon hearing that the Second Child's lack of regret. Of course, she could not know that she had injured his precious Yui, but he couldn't accept that. "Effective immediately, you are relieved of duty. You are not the Second Child anymore." He didn't raise his voice nor show any emotion, but he wanted to make her suffer as much as possible for what she had done. So he took his time explaining his decision. "We will arrange for you to be sent back to Germany."



"You can't do that ! I am the Second Child ! I'm Asuka Langley Soryu ! Designated Pilot of Eva Unit 02 ! You need me !" She screamed in rage and denial.



"As you said, Miss Soryu. You have saved an Eva and its Pilot. And since we have only needed three Evangelions to repel the Angels so far, your service will no longer be needed." He said, a slight smirk on his lips, hidden behind his hands. "Dismissed."



'They don't need me.' She was stunned, the impact of what had just happened too much for her. She had lost everything. She had been training her whole life for this single purpose and now it was taken from her. What was she to do now ? She did not even react when two Section 2 agents grabbed her by the arms and dragged her out of the office.



"Are you really sure this was what had to be done ?" Fuyutsuki asked once they were alone.



"Positive. She attacked Yui intentionally."



"According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, the next Angel will be the most powerful."



"That's irrelevant. You know how violent and dangerous the Third Child can be given the circumstances. I just gave him those circumstances. Of course the Second could have been kept as decoy, or cannon fodder, yet it will not be necessary. She still could have been useful to us, however now we can replace her with the Fourth in the Scenario." Gendo stated.



"He might not be as easily manipulated."



"He is more stable than the Second." He paused for a second. "I should have known that Dr Soryu would be a mistake. It is good to finally be rid of its consequences. I wasn't expecting her to be able to save both Unit 03 and its Pilot, maybe I should have thanked her for giving us the possibility to get rid of her."



"Your son will probably hate you for this. Even more so if there was indeed something between them." Fuyutsuki said, maybe to give him a chance to change his mind.



"It does not matter as long as he carries out with our plan. Furthermore, the more isolated he is, the less he will have to distract him from this mission." Gendo answered coldly. Fuyutsuki winced behind his interlocutor's back but said nothing. However, it didn't mean that he agreed with his superior.



.



.



Shinji shyly entered the room where Rei was according to the nurse, slightly opening the door at first and whispering "Ayanami, I'm coming in." The room she was in was smaller than the one he used to occupy, it was only big enough for one bed. "Hi, Ayanami." he said just as shyly.



"Hello, Pilot Ikari." She was half sitting, half lying on her bed in her hospital gown. The pillows had been rearranged to allow her to have something to rest her back on. Her head was bandaged, not unlike the first time he had met her all those months ago. However, none of her eyes were covered this time. She also had her left arm in a sling. "What can I do for you ?"



"How are you ?"



"I am well, thank you. I have just been kept here under observation. I went to see you yesterday. You were still unconscious."



"I'm glad you're okay, Ayanami." At least one of his friends was alright. "Do you know where Asuka is ? She's not at the hospital."



"I was unconscious when I have been extracted from my entry-plug. I am not aware of her whereabouts as a consequence." Rei simply stated. It wasn't much, but Shinji was still surprised to hear that many words coming from her.



"I'm scared about her. I saw everything that happened during the fight. I'm afraid I might have hurt her." As much as Shinji was interested in Rei's condition, he was more interested in Asuka's. "She isn't home, and she isn't in the hospital. It's too late for her to still be in school. I'm really worried."



"I cannot help you." was Rei's only answer.



"Sorry." He said automatically, his mind still focused on Asuka. "Bye." he said as he left the room, not even waiting for an answer.



.



.



He didn't feel like going home. He wanted to go and look for Asuka, but he didn't know where to start, so he decided it would be better to wait for her there. When he entered the apartment, he heard steps coming towards him and saw her rushing in the entryway. She tackled him in a desperate hug. "Where were you ?" She mumbled in his neck as she squeezed him tighter. She had fought against it as much as she could have, but in the end, she had to admit that she needed Shinji after what happened to her. So the time she had waited for him felt like torturous hours. She was a nervous wreck, her eyes were burning, she didn't care anymore about the pain in her chest or the fact that she was still coated in dried LCL.



"I was at the hospital. I wanted to go and see you but you weren't there so I went to see Ayanami bef..."



"Are you kidding me ?!" This was the last straw for her. Having him go see Rei reminded her too much of what her father had done all those years ago. When he had left her mother when she lost her mind, when she became useless. "I have spent the last two days in a goddamn cell ! That's where I was ! For saving your stupid friend's ass ! And when I was locked up you jumped at the opportunity and went to see Wondergirl ?!" She shouted as she pushed him away, allowing him to see her blood injected eyes.



"I hoped she knew where you were !" Shinji tried to plea.



"I can't believe it ! When I arrived here, I expected to be able to talk to my boyfriend !" Neither she nor Shinji realized which word she had just used. "I was naively thinking that you'd be there for me, as you promised me ! But you were too busy trying to have your way with that freaking doll !" She had tears in her eyes and her fists were clenched. Her whole body was tense.



"You don't understand !" he tried to interject.



"Don't worry, I won't stand in your way for too much longer ! Just... Leave me alone." She said in a tone Shinji had never heard coming from her before. As if she had just given up. She then turned around and started walking towards her room.



He didn't understand what she had meant by that but he wasn't about to abandon her nor run away. He thus quickly caught up to her and grabbed her hand. "Asuka, please..." He couldn't finish his sentence as Asuka's other hand connected with his face in a slap which felt more like a punch.



"I hate you !" She screamed, her voice cracking and tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She stormed out of the apartment leaving a shocked Third Child behind her.



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.



She ran as fast as she could in her injured state until her chest was too painful for her to continue. She had quickly realized what had just happened. She had lost patience yet again. And yet again Shinji had been her victim. And this time she didn't hold back. She wanted to convince herself that it didn't matter since she was being sent back to Germany. But it proved too hard for her. She had thrown away one of the too few good things in her life because of her temper. She wanted to collapse and disappear, but the remnants of her pride made her keep going until she reached her destination.



Hikari opened the front door and was horrified when she saw her friend's sorry state. She invited her in and took care of her as much as she could. However, Asuka never talked about the things that were obviously upsetting her. As a matter of fact, she didn't talk much at all during her stay. Hikari wanted to help, to alleviate her burden but couldn't find any way to do so. It was especially painful when she could hear her friend cry when she thought no one could. She wanted to reach out to her, but she had no idea what to say. She knew that with Asuka, one wrong step would only make things worse. So she decided to be there. To be present for her at any time. When Asuka woke up because she was having a nightmare, Hikari stayed awake with her in silence, hoping that it would be, if not enough, at least helpful.



One day, when Hikari came home from school, she found out that Asuka wasn't there anymore. She left without saying goodbye, it was better that way. She was now waiting for the train which would bring her to the airport, which would in turn bring her back to Germany. At the same time to a former life and to a completely new and unknown one.



She had been waiting there for hours, having left early to be sure not to stumble upon Hikari or anyone else, sitting uncomfortably on the floor, cursing Japan for its lack of benches in train stations. Misato came to talk to her. It felt nice, even if she would rather have had Kaji come bid her farewell. It lifted her spirits a little, until Misato spoke about Shinji. Just hearing his name brought memories and feelings that she didn't want to have, so she shouted for Misato to shut up and leave her alone. It was harsh, and she regretted it too, but she just couldn't have this discussion.



She was wondering what she would do in Germany. What she could do now that she was a nobody, and that nobody cared about her anymore. Not Kaji, who didn't come see her one last time. Did he even know ? Did he even care ? Not Hikari, who didn't even try to talk to her. Not Misato, who didn't pull any strings to have her reinstated. Not Shinji... Especially not Shinji. She probably would have just shouted at him again just to hate herself even more afterwards.



And it was the same in Germany. None of her guardians had liked her back then. Her father didn't care. She was alone. Desperately, crushingly alone. She had always prided herself on living for herself, on not needing anyone. But now, knowing what it felt like to have someone she could count on, she felt she couldn't live like she used to anymore, yet she would never be so dumb as to allow someone close to her ever again. Because she knew that she would eventually mess everything up, just like she did with Shinji. She wanted to cry, again, on the dirty floor of this empty train station, but managed to swallow back the tears and the lump in her throat after clenching her eyes shut and taking a few deep breaths.



"I can't blame him from running away. I know I would have." She said to the emptiness around her. "Who would want to be with someone as worthless as me ?" She chuckled humorlessly. "I didn't even have to tell him I got fired for him to figure out he would be much better without me... I lost everything. And it's all my fault." A single tear that she couldn't hold back escaped her left eye.



A special state of emergency is declared for the Tokai region. All citizens must evacuate to their designated shelters immediately. Repeating...



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A/N : This chapter was really interesting to write. My first real battle ! I hope I did a good job ! On that note, I've always felt like this battle was kinda lazy in canon. Asuka gets punched once or twice and ejects. I understand that the scenario needed Shinji to be alone but hey ! It's Asuka we're talking about. She dived into a volcano to prove everyone that she was the best (among other reasons) and she charged an Angel head first after both her arms had been severed. She doesn't run away from a fight !



I would have loved to add some more German here and there, but I don't speak German at all and I didn't want to make any mistakes.



As always, if you have anything to say, advice or anything, don't hesitate ! And most importantly, thanks for reading !

 

[E.D.C.]

And there we go ! Finally a new chapter ! I don't have much to say, so enjoy !





"Where's Asuka ?" Shinji was feeling ambivalent about this Angel attack. On the one hand, he was apprehensive of the fight that was to take place in the near future, as he always was when he had to get inside his entry-plug, and on the other he could barely wait to see Asuka. It had been two nights since she had stormed out of the apartment and he starting to really miss her. This Angel almost seemed like a blessing in disguise to him since it meant that he would finally be able to see her again. He had no idea of how it would go or what he would do or say, but he was determined to do anything in order for her to forgive him. 'Boyfriend...' This word kept repeating in his mind 'I was her boyfriend.' He thought with melancholy.



He was thus sitting in his entry-plug. His Eva had been positioned inside the Geofront, directly next to the Headquarters. He was wielding a pallet rifle, his right hand feeling a little numb because of the wound his Eva had sustained and which was not completely healed yet. Every second seemed to last a lifetime. It was far too unusual to be deployed below the surface, something was very wrong, and the briefing didn't tell him a lot about what was happening. He was shivering a little with anticipation. Or maybe angst was really to blame.



"Miss Soryu is no longer a member of NERV." The cold voice of his father declared.



"What do you mean she's no longer a member of NERV ? You fired her !?" Shinji retorted, not believing his ears. "Are you stupid !?" The rhetorical question came without him even realizing, living with Asuka sure had left an impression on him. "She's the best Pilot among the three of us !" He said angrily, forgetting about Toji.



"I do not have to justify myself to you. But if you really want to know, she is too unstable for us to risk everyone's safety. Her reckless behavior made her a liability."



"I shouldn't be surprised." Shinji said flatly, his anger giving him confidence. He was overwhelmed by what he had just learned and its implications. Now it made sense to him why Asuka had been upset last time they saw each other, and why he hadn't seen her since. He wanted to slap himself for not having insisted when she told him she hated him. For not following her when she stormed out of the apartment. He should have stood his ground and insisted on knowing what was on her mind. 'I should have been there for her.' He thought bitterly before focusing back on the present, deciding not to delve on it just yet, there were more pressing matters at the moment. "We beat the last Angel ! She saved Toji ! He would have been killed if she hadn't been there ! You have punished her because she's done the right thing !" He was about to continue lashing out his father when an explosion brought his focus back to the battle. He was now very angry, and decided to use this anger against the Angel which had just appeared above him.



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.



Asuka had left the station and had walked to the closest shelter automatically, almost like a robot. She could see it a few dozen meters away. She could also see Unit 01 further away, and in the same automatic way, she passed by the shelter and kept on walking towards the Evangelion. Towards Shinji.



"What are you doing there kiddo ?" Kaji said while she was walking a few meters away from him. He had his left hand in his pocket and was holding a watering can with his other hand.



Asuka didn't seem surprised by the display in front of her, it had been as if she had woken from a trance. She had walked towards the Headquarters without even thinking about it, and arrived right at Kaji's secret garden. He was there, not in a shelter, but then again, neither was she. "I've been fired, in case you didn't know." She said sarcastically. "And if I'm going to die today, it certainly won't be in one of these shelters !" She recovered quickly, hiding her true reason.



"And you want to see how Shinji's faring." Kaji simply said, seeing clearly through her facade, still watering his melons. They could see Unit 01 standing still in the distance, partially hidden by the pine trees standing in the way, a pallet rifle in its hands, its right wrist still bandaged from the previous fight.



"... We... Things didn't end well between us... I messed everything up. Big surprise right ?" She answered despondently, still transfixed by the purple giant.



"You didn't talk to him since ?" He asked, already knowing the answer.



"I couldn't. Not after what I did..." She didn't sound at all like she was supposed to. Even her demeanor was different, Kaji noticed. Her whole body language made her looked downcast, almost resigned. The fact that she wasn't wearing her neural connectors was what stood out more to the man next to her. "Besides, he's better off without me." At this precise moment, a huge explosion rocked the Geofront. They both staggered but didn't even try to take cover. Soon after, the grotesque form of the Angel appeared from the breach it had created. It looked more or less humanoid, with a disproportionately large black and white torso compared to its limbs. Its arms looked like paper ribbons, far too short to be used effectively in combat. At its center was a red sphere, its core. A stone-like mask adorned the top of its torso, locked in an eerie grimace. It descended slowly from the chasm, taking its time to approach its objective.



It then disappeared in a cloud of smoke as Shinji fired its weapon. The noise was excruciatingly loud, and amplified by the Geofront acting as a gigantic sound box. When the gun stopped firing, Asuka wasn't expecting to see the smoke dissipate as Unit 01 didn't try to shoot the Angel anymore. Shinji had remembered his fight against the fourth Angel, when a cloud of smoke that he was responsible for gave his enemy the advantage over him. Hence, he stopped firing and studied his enemy for some time. She thought about what she would have done, emptying magazine after magazine at the Angel, eroding its AT Field at the same time to weaken it from a distance.



"Is that really what you think ?" Kaji resumed their conversation as if nothing had happened, scratching his scruffy chin with his free hand.



"Of course not !" Asuka blurted out before she could filter her answer. The exhaustion of the past few days was taking its toll on her. "It felt nice to be able to count on someone. But I screwed it up..." As she said that, Unit 01 drew its progressive knife. "It doesn't matter now anyway. He probably hates me now... I could probably coerce him into staying with me, but that would just be selfish..." She trailed off. 'And I'd only hurt him in the end.'



"You've changed. You've grown so much in the last few weeks." He stated, proud of his former ward.



"I hate it ! Things were so much easier when I thought I could live only for myself ! I feel like I failed myself !" Her fire was coming back to her as she spoke. She wasn't being completely honest, of course, but at least her outburst meant that she wasn't defeated yet. She might have been stripped bare of her status, of her title, of her Eva, but nobody could rid her of her pride ! The Angel and Unit 01 were now looking at each other, studying each other, waiting for the other to move first.



"Don't think of it that way. You haven't failed, you have learned."



"And just what the hell did I learn !?" She spat out. "I already knew that living just by myself was less painful than this !"



"You've learned that you can be more than just an Eva Pilot. And that you don't have to be alone. That there are people out there who care, I mean genuinely care about you." He stated, looking at Unit 01 for a few seconds.



"And what good does it make ?" Asuka asked, fuming, turning to face her interlocutor. For the first time since they had started talking, she had managed to pry her eyes off Unit 01. She missed as a consequence the Angel throwing its ribbon arm at the Eva, who barely dodged it before taking a defensive stance a fair distance away from its foe. "After the battle is over I'll be escorted back to the station so I can be shipped back to Germany !" She was torn between anger and despair.



"If we survive." Unit 00 emerged from the ground at this moment, a sonic glaive in its only hand, since its left arm wasn't regenerated yet. Rei gave the weapon to Shinji who tried to close the gap between him and the Angel to attack it with his now longer range. Rei stayed back and picked up one of the many weapons which were laid close to Unit 01's position, a rocket launcher, and fired some distraction shots at the Angel. "It's said if an Angel makes contact with Adam, who lies below here, humanity will be eradicated. The Third Impact." Shinji barely avoided a ribbon coming for him by lunging forward while ducking. Slowly but surely, he was getting closer to his target.



Asuka turned her gaze back to the battle before her, silently cheering and encouraging Shinji. "Don't worry about it, he's the Invincible Shinji, he can't lose !" She said dismissively. "He'll kick this Angel's a-Shinji ! Duck !" She shouted as the Angel threw another of his ribbons at Unit 01 who managed to dodge it by quickly moving right, only to arrive directly in the path of the Angel's second ribbon. As if he had heard Asuka's command, he ducked and avoided the attack, however, his umbilical cable didn't. Both ends of the cable erupted in a fountain of sparks as they were cleanly cut off. Unit 01 staggered for a second, as if Shinji had let doubt overcome him until it started moving again, just in time to raise its glaive in front of its face to protect himself from the ribbon thrown by the Angel, which connected with tremendous force against the blade, cutting itself through all its length on the weapon. One of the halves hit Unit 01's left shoulder pylon, severing it with its momentum before falling limp on the ground behind the Eva, useless.



"Asuka, the only thing I can do is stand here and water." Kaji said, not paying any attention to the battle or the girl tensing up next to him. "But you, you have something that you can do. That only you can do." With only one usable arm, the Angel was now less efficient when attacking, and as a consequence, less threatening. Unable to focus on both targets at the same time, it seemed overwhelmed by the two Evangelions fighting it. "If you both die, at least he'll know that you had his back until the end..." The Angel was getting attacked more and more relentlessly now, until it stopped focusing on Unit 01. It turned to face the other Eva as its eyes started to glow, taking the two Pilots by surprise. A second after, a gigantic explosion rocked the inside of the Geofront and engulfed Unit 00. When the smoke cleared, the blue Evangelion was motionless, silent, lying down on the ground several hundred meters from its previous position, its armor melted on the front because of the explosion. Shinji seemed stunned, as Unit 01 didn't do anything for several agonizing seconds. "And if you survive, you'll be able to talk to him. He might not forgive you, especially for not telling him about you leaving Japan... But you owe it to him... To the both you." Shinji had retreated to the laying form of Unit 00 to put it on its side and grab its umbilical cable. Its entry-plug ejected as soon as it could, propelling itself away from the battle.



"You're right. Thanks, Kaji..." She trailed off for a few seconds. "And thanks for not doing anything on the Over the Rainbow. A lesser man wouldn't have been able to resist... But seriously, I'm sorry... For everything." Asuka said, not daring to look him in the eyes, though her feelings of weakness and shame from the apology were nothing compared to the determination and excitement she felt for the battles she was about to fight. First, she had to somehow get back inside her Eva, then she had to destroy this Angel. With its new source of power, Unit 01 resumed its assault. Shinji was fighting like a demon, Unit 01 was, if not gracefully, efficiently dodging every attack sent its way and getting closer and closer to its target. Maybe he wouldn't need her at all. Maybe nothing would change. She put those thoughts at the back of her mind for the time being. It was no use worrying about this right now, she wasn't even sure they, or rather he, would let her pilot anyway.



Kaji let out a small understanding smile. "Go." He didn't have to say anything more. He perfectly knew what she meant, and what it meant to her to say those words. Asuka ran like she never ran before. The entrance to the Geofront wasn't very far from Kaji's garden, but every second counted. She wasn't paying attention to the battle anymore, already focusing on getting to him, she was getting excited at the prospect of showing him that she still had his back. Huge cracking and slicing noises almost made her stop to look behind her but she refused to waste precious time, trying to mentally block the noises of crashes around her in order to reach the entrance as quickly as possible, using this short run to clear her head and prepare herself mentally.



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.



Things were getting dire in the Command Center. Everyone was trying their best not to panic. Even Fuyutsuki, behind his impassible stance, was feeling rather uneasy. Ritsuko was furiously typing on a computer next to Maya which was trying her best just to keep up with her sempai. But despite their best efforts, Unit 02 wouldn't accept the Dummy Plug. Ritsuko had tried to explain that Dr. Soryu's failed contact experiment and subsequent split of her soul made the synchronization with the Dummy plug too erratic to make Unit 02 usable in combat to Gendo. At times, the sync ratio was completely acceptable, but it never lasted long. With no apparent reason to people who didn't know the inner workings of an Evangelion, it dipped below the activation threshold, then reactivated, without regularity or any kind of pattern. The consequence was that the Eva deactivated in the middle of an action for several seconds, then reactivated and so on and so forth, so it would be completely useless against the Angel. But the Commander had given the order. The Dummy Plug had to synchronize with Unit 02, so Ritsuko and Maya were trying to find a way to circumvent this major setback. The constant headache Ritsuko was dealing with since she got injured in the explosion of the Matsushiro Experiment Facility didn't help.



Toji was in the entry-plug, desperately trying as well to synchronize with the red giant, but his lack of training made it clear that he wouldn't succeed. That he wouldn't be able to help his friend. He would have probably been able to do something in his own Eva, but it was far from being repaired, and still under quarantine. Gendo had no intention of using him in the first place, he had expected the Dummy Plug to easily sync with Unit 02. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so he had been ordered to get into Unit 02. Toji still tried as much as he could to do something. He hated the helplessness he felt while hearing Shinji's enraged screams through the comm channel.



Things were not going according to plan, so Gendo was bracing himself for a Third Impact which would not be on his own terms. Maybe he would still be reunited with Yui. His theorizations came to a halt when he heard sounds which didn't fit with the situation. He seemed to hear people cheering in the Eva cage below. He stopped pacing in the Eva's control room and turned towards the source of these unexpected noises. "Why are you here ?" He said upon noticing the reason of this joyfulness.



The entry-plug slid out of the Evangelion and its hatch opened, revealing Toji who jumped on the gangway next to him to watch the scene unfolding before his eyes.



"I am the Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 ! I am Asuka Langley Soryu !" She shouted with determination and defiance. She knew that if he had been capable of launching her Eva without her, he would have done it by now. So for whatever reason, he needed her. A sardonic smile appeared on her lips.



She ran to the entry-plug without even waiting for the Commander to accept what was happening. Toji waited for her to be close enough to speak. "Well, looks like nobody can make this pile of junk move but you, Devil ! Even their damn autopilot didn't work !.. It's good to see you." He said with a genuine smile on his face, probably the first one he ever directed her.



"I'll show you how it's done, scrub !" She answered with a smile of her own, with no real aggression towards her usurper, already climbing inside the plug.



One of the techs caught up to them as they were talking and almost ceremoniously offered her a new set of A10 hair clips which she quickly put in their rightful place. "Thanks for coming back. We really needed you." He timidly said before leaving almost faster than he arrived. Most of the techs admired the Pilots of the Evas they were assigned to, this one was no exception.



"Go kick its ass !" Toji managed to add before the entry-plug sealed shut and slid inside Unit 02's neck. When the activation sequence started, Asuka felt something. She felt the connection between her and her Eva like never before. It felt clearer, more direct. When the walls of the entry-plug showed her the outside world, she was ready.



.



.



Panic was now clearly etched on the face of every person present in the Command Center. And it had been spreading like wildfire in the entire Headquarters since Misato had ordered all personnel to be evacuated. It had been breached, and the attacker had promptly reached the Command Center. Everyone looked in horror at the Angel when its eyes started to glow threateningly. Time seemed to stop, silence seemed to envelop her as she closed her eyes and took her cross in her right hand, her left arm still in a cast, and prepared as much as she could for her impending fate. A deafening noise broke the silence in her mind and all the alarms resumed blaring in her ears. She opened her eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of a red blur punching the Angel away from them. Her brain kicked back into gear almost immediately as she realized what was happening. "Unit 02 !? Asuka !"



The only answer she got was a furious scream from the German girl. She had been feeling powerless and sorry for herself for the past two days, but not anymore. Her confrontation with the Commander had just been an appetizer, and this fight was the main course. As soon as she had carved herself a passage to the Command Center and seen the Angel, she let her rage lead her actions. She wasn't in her entry-plug to save humanity right now, she was there to kill. Her pent-up frustration over the last days now only served to fuel her ire. This Angel was going to die. All it could do would only postpone the ineluctable. The red Eva punched its enemy repeatedly before pushing it against the wall on the other side of the room, destroying it as well in the process. All crew members let out a sigh of relief as the threat was moved away from them.



The Angel stumbled and fell on its back in the empty Eva cage. Asuka, carried by her momentum fell on top of it. She raised her Eva's fist in order to punch the Angel again. A light emanated from its eyes but Asuka had seen this attack on the surface, she quickly dodged to the right thanks to her instinct and combat training. The laser only managed to hit the ceiling, making debris fall over Unit 02. Asuka should have been stunned by the huge chunks of metal and concrete falling on her back and head, however, in this state, nothing could stop her. She stumbled a little when she stood back up because of the rubble on the ground and the weight of the Angel that she was pulling with her by its face. Its "neck" stretched a little before the rest of its body followed the movement.



She punched it again a few times for good measure when it was standing. Asuka wondered for a brief second if this was the same Angel she had seen while talking to Kaji. It didn't react, it didn't try to fight back. She focused back on her objective and pushed it as far as she could, against the wall of an Eva lift. "Misato !" It had been the only intelligible sound erupting from her mouth since she had joined the fight. It had been unnecessary, since the Major had already given the order to launch the catapult. She maintained the Angel's face against the steel rail all the way up to the top, making sparks erupt from the friction. "Hey Third ! You and I will have a talk once this is over !" She didn't really want to sound threatening, but her actual mindset made it impossible to sound any other way. She was determined, angry. She wanted to show the Commander that she could not be that easily replaced. That he had made a mistake. That he needed her to win this war.



The two giants carried their momentum when the lift stopped, projecting them both in the air. She had already started to switch her position, standing over the Angel while still in the air, one foot right on her enemy's core, the other leg bent in order to put the most weight on the first one. She was emulating the position in which she had, with Shinji, literally landed the final blow on the Seventh Angel. It was at this moment, seconds before landing, that she froze. Out of her the corner of her eye first, she saw Unit 01, then she turned her head to make sure what she saw was real. There it was, a few dozen meters away from her, still standing. It had been decapitated. She couldn't concentrate on anything but him anymore. This was the reason why he didn't answer. She desperately wanted to know if he was alright. If he was still alive. With the sync ratio he had managed to attain during the tests, the neural feedback could have given him whiplash, or it could have blocked his trachea, making him choke to death, alone in his entry-plug.



She didn't even notice two rock-like appendages emerging from around the Angel's core, encasing it so they were between the core and her Eva's foot. The behemoths crashed on the ground not far from Unit 01's beheaded form. Unit 02 lost its stance and tumbled away from the Angel, destroying the landscape in its way. The fall put Asuka out of her daze, and she turned her attention back to the Angel with renewed anger, swearing and threatening loudly her foe in German. She launched her Eva head first towards the Angel, tackling it to the ground before punching it again.



She was boiling with rage, hitting it with all her might when suddenly, the walls of her entry-plug turned black. "No !" She shouted as she understood what happened. No more power. She had failed. There was nothing left standing between the Angel and the end of the world. She wouldn't see Shinji again. It was over. In the darkness of her entry-plug, Asuka started to cry once more. She didn't even care when her Eva was thrown away, nor when an explosion rocked her entry-plug. She just let herself get overwhelmed with helplessness, openly sobbing, not paying any attention to her confined surroundings. As time passed, she became more and more aware of loud impacts rocking her entry-plug, interrupting her despondency. The impacts were slow, but relentless, merciless. Some times later, the loud thuds were joined by the noise of something cracking all around her.



"No !" She shrieked. She had given up for a moment. Not anymore. She was Asuka Langley Soryu. She did not give up. "I can't lose ! I won't lose !" The hits didn't stop, nor did they increase in speed as she was now yanking furiously her butterfly handles, screaming madly, not caring anymore if anyone could hear her. "Move ! Move gottverdammt ! Move !" The impacts only served to make her more enraged. "Move ! Move ! You have to move !" She thought the Angel was mocking her personally now that she had fallen, humiliating her without honor. "I can't lose ! If I lose then it's all over and I can't let this happen !" The red behemoth didn't move, however. She kept on pushing the butterfly handles desperately, weakly wailing at the same time. Finally, this rollercoaster of emotions of the past days proved to be too much, even for the great Asuka Langley Soryu. She slammed her fist lamely on her right control yoke with a short shout full of anger, frustration and sadness, slouching on her seat.



The weight of her defeat was slowly creeping back to overwhelm her. "Move ! If you don't move we'll all die !" She lamented. "I don't want to die..." She solemnly said, her tears dissolving inside the LCL around her. "...I haven't had the chance to tell him how much he means to me... If we die, he'll never know that I... Love him."



She raised her head, her eyes wide when she heard a thunderous heartbeat. She stayed still when she heard another... Then another... Then another. She was completely paralyzed as her Eva finally answered her plea and awakened. Its four eyes lit up as the top and lower parts of its face mask shifted in order to reveal them. It raised its AT Field to block the next attack of the Angel. The ribbon-like arm was shredded as soon as it made contact with the octagonal barrier, and the reverberation was enough to injure the Angel itself, which crashed on its back while blood poured from the gashes it had just received.



Unit 02 stood up slowly, taking its time as its threat was neutralized for the time being. It breathed heavily through its mouth then arched and roared powerfully before falling on all fours and making its way towards its fallen foe. It stopped for a few seconds only to bury its fingers in the monster's eyes, preventing it from trying to retaliate with a last, desperate attack.



Unit 02's eyes narrowed in a vicious expression of anticipation. It then lowered its head towards the Angel until it abruptly stopped, its action impeded by some obstacle. It snarled in frustration, then arched back up before grabbing the lower part of its face mask at the chin with both hands before pulling on it with all its strength while roaring ferociously. The bottom of the face mask broke after a few seconds on both sides of the beast's jaw, freeing its mouth. The Eva let out a vicious scream, now unhindered by the restraining mask, its teeth glowing in the artificial light of the Geofront, before resuming its previous action. It started savagely eating the Angel, tearing its flesh, ripping its bones before crunching them in its powerful jaw. The beast suddenly straightened and looked cautiously behind its back before returning to its meal.



The Angel was dead, however Unit 02 was still very much active. It looked around for a few seconds before standing on its hind legs, the armor binding it to humanity's will breaking as the beast's muscles expanded on its arms, torso and back. It roared to the Heavens above as if daring humanity or the Angels, or anything else to try and stop it.