Remove ads

Teach Me, Mothra-sensei!

Reader mode
Guancyto said:
"We can do this in real life, you know," you say as you flip through the rulebook, trying to find something that says your little Dreadnought doesn't explode in flames against its foe. The big thing it's fighting doesn't have to deal with hit locations! Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Ah, 7th Edition rules, that's your problem right there.
Guancyto said:
This actually does get him to smile a little. "You keep going for the Carnifex! It's not a scoring piece, you don't need to beat it to win."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
DISTRACTION CARNIFEX!

[X] A position as a Substitute Teacher at an academy of strange Humans! Gladly accept.

I see we go for this for now to get the experience and funding. Yes, we do still have our heart set on making a school of our own, but we also know that we can't just start off there, we have to work our way up.
 
Guancyto said:
"We can do this in real life, you know," you say as you flip through the rulebook, trying to find something that says your little Dreadnought doesn't explode in flames against its foe. The big thing it's fighting doesn't have to deal with hit locations! Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit! "I am a giant monster and you have an actual giant robot."
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

We'd have to lose to prove Giant Monsters aren't bullshit though, did not think this through!

[X] A position as a Substitute Teacher at an academy of strange Humans! Gladly accept.

I mean nobody expects too much of Substitute Teachers. It's good experience and how much damage could we really do. (It's a lot, but shush)
 
Remove ads
4. Academy of the Holy Wound
  • Threadmarks
    • "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

    This is… not the way you expected your first staff meeting to go. The Sultana of Burning Sands is even more of a presence in the flesh - you expect that the sheer confidence she radiates could cow anyone smaller than a bus. The Academy looked so respectable! All nice old wood and open spaces, they had kept the shrine aesthetic even as they converted it into a school. You had expected the Headmaster to be very traditional. Stately, perhaps. Wasn't she supposed to be a queen of some kind?

    "Ah, Sultana, you are surely aware of my backgroun-" you start.

    She cuts you off. "One, either use my full name or call me Sandy. Two, come on! You have to be tough to make it here, newbie. I want to see how you stack up." She puffs out her chest and levels her gaze with you, daring you to make a move.

    You look to the rest of the teachers in the cozy little staff room, who are looking on with a mix of amusement, annoyance and worry.

    Madame Butterfly is a skinny Human with brown eyes and auburn hair that flows nearly to the ground. You tried that particular arrangement when you were adjusting your own form and kept tripping over it (you eventually settled for back-length), but she walks around it like it's an extension of her body and moves with a grace that's almost uncanny. Small wonder she's the arts and Culture teacher. You have to wonder if she also studies Entomology, because she also seems to have figured out a way to be constantly surrounded by colorful butterflies. She has a cocky half-smile on her face and nods to you. "Well, go on, best not to keep the Headmaster waiting."

    The Mathematics teacher Zin'ar is almost as tall as you, slimmer even than Butterfly and quite pale, with long purple hair that doesn't quite move as they do - wigs are a fascinating part of Human appearance and if your Size Limiter's NOT EXTREMELY MOTH scale hadn't had an option for hair you would have loved to try them out. You might still. They push their glasses up on their nose, dark eyes looking at you analytically. "Perhaps you should be gentle," they say quietly.

    "Damn it, 'tana, this is ridiculous," Civics teacher Hildr is the embodiment of your idea of an absolute professional, platinum-blonde hair and blue eyes and a sharp black suit that almost lets you forget the spear she has leaned against the wall. She claimed it was medical, which you're not sure is more reassuring or less. But you're glad she's pulling for you here, her hands on her hips, standing against the Headmaster. "New girl, you don't have to let her haze you." Haze. A state of limited visibility, or a mental state of confusion or obscurity. What a strange word to use.

    "Well, if it goes horribly wrong, I nominate myself for replacement Headmaster," the Economics and Physical Education teacher Paratha grins and thumps her large red lizardlike tail against the copier in anticipation. In contrast to the skinnier Humans she's got muscles on her muscles and horns on her head and has been eating a meal so spicy you can feel the heat from it from here, and you're a person who drinks Human hot sauce by the bottle for the pleasantly warm kick. You're pretty sure people aren't supposed to eat at staff meetings but everyone seems to be letting her get away with it. She's got as strong a presence as Sultana, but she seems to be keeping it reigned in for now.

    You can't see a single thing odd about with your fellow sciences teacher Miss Rappaccini, who seems for all the world like a proper and polite young Human who simply has an affectation for covering her skin - long gloves and a long dress and also a hat over her head and a facemask; the only bit of her uncovered is her green eyes. You aren't particularly versed in Human fashion but you've seen Humans that cover themselves entirely except for the eyes and even a recent trend in visor technology where they cover themselves entirely, so that may just be something she does. She looks concerned, but says nothing.

    Well?

    [ ] Well, she is asking you to hit her as hard as you can. Oblige her.
    [ ] She might be a very confident Human but she really doesn't know what she's asking. Go easy.
    [ ] This is highly unprofessional! And maybe a secret test of character or something. Refuse.
    [ ] Other (Write-in)
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [x] Well, she is asking you to hit her as hard as you can. Oblige her.

    Hard knocks. Accept no substitutes.

    I figure anyone going by that name has to be tough, or they wouldn't survive their first year, much less a position of a Headmaster.

    Also, some of the teachers give me "not entirely human" vibes. She'll live. And we have a replacement if she won't.
     
    Last edited:
    [X] Well, she is asking you to hit her as hard as you can. Oblige her.

    Punch in the snout to establish superiority!

    Nevill said:
    Also, some of the teachers give me "not entirely human" vibes. She'll live. And we have a replacement if she won't.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Well Miss Rappaccini is either a Vampire or so posh they might as well be and Paratha is basically a dragon. I think the humans here are gonna be the rare breed.
     
    5. Test of Strength (Top Score!)
  • Threadmarks
    • Sultana is completely confident. Nobody else seems to be taking seriously the possibility that you'll just turn her into a grease stain. Your Size Limiter makes it easier for you to do fine manipulations and hold back your immense strength (easier, you broke a lot of pens and glasses and doors when you were first starting out), but you are still a kaiju, you can tear down a Human building by flexing on it too hard if you try.

    "Well, okay, if you say so…" you say, trying to keep the trepidation out of your voice. You plant your feet and the ground rumbles. You wind up for a punch and the sheer force of the backswing makes furniture move and desk photos collapse. As you swing at her chest you see her eyes widen and maybe she realizes that maybe, just maybe she's bitten off more than she can chew.

    You strike her with enough power to crack a mountain, and she just explodes. Red is everywhere and you stand gaping in absolute shock. Tears start to form at the corners of your eyes. Why? Why did you assume she knew what she was doing just because she was so confident? Why weren't you gentle anyway? You know how. You know how fragile Humans are. You feel like sinking to your knees. You feel like crying. Why didn't the others-

    You look to them, as covered in red as you are, and they aren't shocked or distraught or even surprised. Zin'ar has taken off their splattered glasses and has that analytical look again and Hildr is muttering curses under her breath and their eyes are focused not on you but where Sultana stood before you-

    Miss Rappacini lays a hand on your shoulder, her eyes comforting. Why is she trying to comfort you when you just-

    "Well!" Paratha claps her hands. "Guess I'm in charge now! For my first act as Headmaster, I hereby declare that all teachers must wear tiny miniskirts-"

    "Wait for it." Madame Butterfly holds up a finger and your breath goes still. "Wait for it…"

    The red on you peels off like someone's calling it home and all across the room it's sucked in and congeals around where Sultana was standing, and something pulls itself through a black rift, a bleeding gash in space, and between the two they shape themselves into the one, the only, the Sultana of Burning Sands.

    "Oh well, maybe next time," Paratha says.

    "What," is all you can manage.

    The room darkens and her eyes glint red and you swear you see the phantom images of swarming bats filling every inch of the room as Sultana puts herself back together. She throws back her head and laughs, a booming thing that fills the room even more completely than the bats.

    "I am a Key," she says, as though that explains anything. Maybe she expected you to say something like what are you. Quipping to the wrong prompt is the worst kind of quipping!

    "You're an absolute dick is what you are," Hildr says and walks over to slap Sultana upside the head, and it is quite possibly the most satisfying dopeslap you have ever witnessed, "do you have to do this sort of thing every time? At least explain what it's even for!"

    "Oh! Right! That!" Sultana straightens up and faces you properly, "so! The Academy of the Holy Wound isn't just a fancy title or something poetic, there's an actual wound in reality here, they built the shrine around it. I'll show it to you sometime! But things come through sometimes and the mikos don't seem to be coming back any time soon and I have to make sure you've got what it takes to protect the students." She looks at you, and notices that you're breathing heavy, you've got the start of tears in your eyes, and you're looking at her like she is, indeed, an absolute dick. She could have chosen literally any other way of testing that!

    "Er, eheh, maybe we could have gone a little easier the first test," she rubs the back of her neck, "you okay?"

    [ ] ...ahaha. Fine. No problem. All good here. Just excuse yourself to the restroom and go throw up.
    [ ] Hit her again.
    [ ] Tell her off. What the hell was she thinking?! ...also, she made a school on a hole that monsters come out of? What the hell was she thinking?!
    [ ] Okay yes that was an absolute dick move but your curiosity has gotten you this far and it's way too strong right now. Press her to tell you everything.
    [ ] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.
    [ ] You're not going to work under someone like this. Quit and found your own school, and do it without traumatizing your teachers. (As you found your own edifice of education, The Academy of the Holy Wound will be your first rival school.)

    Whether you storm out or demand explanations or play it off, you'll have the chance to talk to someone individually (even if they have to chase you down). Who is it?

    [ ] [Talk] The bosslady herself, the Sultana of Burning Sands
    [ ] [Talk] The sharp-dressed businesslady with the spear, Hildr.
    [ ] [Talk] The tall, skinny Human with the wig and glasses, Zin'ar.
    [ ] [Talk] The Human with amazing hair and ambient butterflies, Madame Butterfly.
    [ ] [Talk] The fiery Human with lizard features, Paratha.
    [ ] [Talk] The well-covered Human with the compassionate eyes, Miss Rappacini.
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • [X] Hit her again.
    [X] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.

    [X] [Talk] The bosslady herself, the Sultana of Burning Sands
     
    Last edited:
    [X] Tell her off. What the hell was she thinking?! ...also, she made a school on a hole that monsters come out of? What the hell was she thinking?!

    That was mean!

    [X] [Talk] The sharp-dressed businesslady with the spear, Hildr.

    She seems on the level, be good to hear her out
     
    Guancyto said:
    "Oh well, maybe next time," Paratha says.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    No, I like your style! Can we get a referendum going?

    [x] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.

    A kaiju-sized raise, please.

    Although I'd love to see a rival establishment early in the story. Do villains have their schools? How do they organize friendly competition, by doing friendly raids?

    [x] [Talk] The fiery Human with lizard features, Paratha.

    Please tell me more of your ideas, Ms. Vice Headmistress.
     
    [X] Hit her again.
    [X] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.

    [X] [Talk] The Human with amazing hair and ambient butterflies, Madame Butterfly.

    Butterfly and Moth unity!
     
    [X] Hit her again.
    [X] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.
    I thought we legit pulped our would-be boss for a second there. I did not think that was on the table of things that could happen.

    [X] [Talk] The Human with amazing hair and ambient butterflies, Madame Butterfly.
     
    [X] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.

    [X] [Talk] The Human with amazing hair and ambient butterflies, Madame Butterfly.
     
    [X] Tell her off. What the hell was she thinking?! ...also, she made a school on a hole that monsters come out of? What the hell was she thinking?!
    [X] Okay yes that was an absolute dick move but your curiosity has gotten you this far and it's way too strong right now. Press her to tell you everything.

    [X] [Talk] The well-covered Human with the compassionate eyes, Miss Rappacini.
     
    6. Butterfly Effect
  • Threadmarks
    • You think for a second about what to do. You really want to hit her again, not enough for her to pull that trick again but just enough to bounce her against the far wall and then for a second act you'll throw some desks on top of her. Possibly all the desks. But you decide, instead, to… what's the charming expression? 'Hit them in the wallet.'

    "You asked for a substitute teacher." You cross your arms, your wings and feelers twitching.

    "Well, that's not completely-"

    "You need a substitute teacher who can also fight things that come out of a hole in space, and protect small and fragile Humans at the same time."

    Sultana stops her hedging and nods. "Absolutely! I have to say I'm impress-"

    "I want to be paid more. A lot more."

    It seems a little… crude? To worry about such a thing. But even your short time in the Human world has taught you that if a Human is paying a great deal of money for something, they will take it more seriously and treat it with more care. You don't intend to see the Sultana making light of your strength or taking it for granted.

    Also, a secondary concern to being given the proper respect, miniatures and gamebooks are so expensive it's unreal.

    You're gratified in this decision as Sultana starts making a high-pitched noise that sounds like the air being slowly let out of a balloon and Madame Butterfly laughs uproariously.

    "Parathaaaaaaa," it's not quite a whine but the Headmaster is definitely pleading with her subordinate.

    "I am absolutely not helping you with that," the lizardlike Human fixes her with a grin, "you pull the pranks, you pay the piper."

    Sultana looks to Hildr, who shakes her head. "Maybe that'll teach you not to pull stunts like this, 'tana."

    Zin'ar pushes their glasses up on their nose. "In truth, this would be substantial grounds for a lawsuit," they say before they can even start to be looked to, and the Headmaster reacts as though physically struck.

    "Look, there's no need for that, I'm sure we can arrange some manner of additional compensation," Sultana says to you with a nervous laugh, "anything for the safety of my students and the wellbeing of my staff, right?"

    Your arms remain uncrossed and you get a little thrill in your chest seeing her defeated like this. "See that you do. I'll make sure it's adequate."

    "Okay, er. With, with that out of the way let's just… let's just move on with the meeting, shall we?"

    The rest of the staff meeting isn't particularly interesting. Even if the Humans are quite unusual and the Academy is quite strange, the logistical side of schooling seems to be pretty close to what you know already. Staff policy, curriculum, medical leave. There are a few people on staff that you haven't yet met; a secretary, a school nurse and a librarian, and you look forward to getting to know them when the school year begins! It looks like classes will remain in place, and teachers will rotate depending on the subject, and someone will always be on duty watching over the hole in space just in case there's an Incident.

    You depart with a folder full of papers and instructions, a very large IOU BETTER SALARY that is written in red ink and not (physically, anyway) the Headmaster's tears, and the distinct impression that this is going to work out, haze notwithstanding. As you part, the Human with the incredible flowing hair and butterflies jogs to catch up with you.

    "Hey, good job back there, new girl," she smiles at you, and it's a heart-meltingly brilliant thing that brightens up your day immediately, "I mean it. Sully is a bit much sometimes, but you've adjusted really well to living here!"

    You press your hands to your chest. Is this what they call 'butterflies in your stomach'? You haven't even eaten any of hers but you feel like they're all dancing inside you. "I… wow. I've worked really hard at it, I just-"

    "That was absolutely ruthlessly Human," her smile gets more sly. Oh. "When someone messes with you, make them pay for it. With currency. A pound of flesh is more classic but she's got that to spare."

    "Guess I gave it away that I'm not from around here, huh?" you say, embarrassed. Your disguise is very good! But yes, Humans don't tend to be that strong.

    She cocks her head to one side and looks at you curiously before she continues, "yeah, yeah, if you hadn't been vetted we wouldn't have made the offer. Too many dangerous people to just bring in anyone, you know?."

    The two of you walk side-by-side for a moment and you try to think of something to say that isn't just marveling at her really good hair.

    "So Hildr said something like that happens every time someone's new," you say, and you aren't exactly sure how you're going to word the second half of that.

    "You're wondering what I was subjected to," she says, and you can't help but feel relief.

    "Yes!"

    She raises her chin proudly, "Nothing. I was here first."

    It's your turn to be puzzled, "wait, why aren't you the Drama Queen here, then?"

    Madame Butterfly looks at you, parses what you've just said, thinks a second and then starts laughing again. It's brilliant, like the sound of bells. "I made a promise to the maiden of the shrine that if she wasn't here, I'd look after this place in her stead," she says; apparently whatever she found amusing in your words isn't something she intends to share. "Everybody else is intruding in my space, not the other way around. I figure I can sit around playing tricks on everyone or I can make myself useful, you know?"

    "I do!" you agree, but the slyness of her smile gives you a thought, "but you do play tricks on people too, though, I'm guessing?"

    Madame Butterfly straightens up, the picture of affronted elegance. "My word, I cannot believe you are accusing me of such a thing!"

    You give her a searching look and it is entirely ineffective in cracking her facade.

    "Hey," she elbows you, "I should probably give you a tour and all, but do you want to get out of here? I know a cafe nearby and their drinks are to die for."

    Wait, she isn't asking you on a date, is she? No, definitely not. You've heard only a little of this elusive yet constant shadow over the social lives of Humans but this definitely isn't it because she'd have said so if it were.

    [ ] Tour! You need to see your new workplace.
    [ ] Cafe! Why do you suspect this involves nectar?
    [ ] Probably not a date but you can't take that chance! Flee!
    [ ] Politely decline. No need to be dramatic about it.
    [ ] Other (Write-In)
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Reader mode
    You must login or register to reply here.
    Remove ads
    Back
    Top