"We can do this in real life, you know," you say as you flip through the rulebook, trying to find something that says your little Dreadnought doesn't explode in flames against its foe. The big thing it's fighting doesn't have to deal with hit locations! Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit! "I am a giant monster and you have an actual giant robot."
"Yeah," your old enemy looks at his feet, eyes edging up at the board of terrain and carefully-painted miniatures, "but this way nobody gets hurt. It's clean. Simple. Safe."
Oh. Well, when he puts it that way. Everyone takes their turn, and everything is neat and organized, and the game always ends after a set number of rounds before it gets tiresome. Compared to the real thing you have to admit it's extremely polite and proper and a little bit cute.
Even if describing this rulebook as "simple" is a bad joke, it makes almost as much sense upside-down as right-side up and, you really have to emphasize, Monstrous Creature rules are bullshit.
You shut the book with a snap, which he takes as a sign to move your dreadnought off the board.
"You keep winning," it's not exactly a pout, it's more like… puffing out your cheeks and making a face.
This actually does get him to smile a little. "You keep going for the Carnifex! It's not a scoring piece, you don't need to beat it to win."
"Right, right, go for the objectives," you sigh. He really doesn't understand that all your instincts are telling you that the biggest opponent is the most important, even when it's pretend.
"Want to keep going? This is pretty much decided but you can maybe still pull it off."
Right. Objectives. You survey the board. You're nowhere near the objective points and trying to push his units off them would involve a great many rounds of shooting. Rounds you don't have, especially considering that lascannons are absolutely guaranteed to eliminate gaunts but only a few at once.
"No, think you've got this one. Tell me about the Academy."
Today's meetup hadn't been entirely for fun, he had texted that his enigmatic father had found an opportunity for you. An academy for troubled youths, repurposed from an old shrine, in need of a substitute after the teacher went on… extended medical leave.
He hands you a folder - you immediately pass over the photos of the building to get to the class photos. Oh! This Genetic Engineering thing where Humans have cool features hasn't been very common in your time learning how to teach, but this lot have an incredible variety! There are ones that look like they're sparkling, several with horns on their heads and tails (and some with just horns), ones with elongated teeth… yes, this will absolutely do.
There are also staff photos - the staff are quite exceptional too. In fact in all your searching it looks like only a few unmodified Humans are in attendance at all. This is great, you'll fit right in!
Hmm, they've got names under them too. "The headmaster's name is The Sultana of Burning Sands? Is that a normal human name?"
"Not even a little bit. I asked, she's… eccentric."
"Eccentric?"
"A total drama queen."
You examine the picture, the tall, pale, red-haired woman with her chin high and her eyes bright and the background clearly a photoshopped explosion that she isn't looking at. Yes, she might well be a queen among Humans. Nothing compared to King Ghidorah, of course, but nevertheless!
"She looks nice!"
"Great, I'm sure you'll be the best of friends," he grimaces, and you're not exactly sure why. "It seems weird, but human careers have this thing where they start at the bottom. You'll work your way to better positions as time goes on."
You think about it, your wings fluttering slowly as you lose yourself in thought. "Oh!" you stop, "it's very remote, will we still be able to meet like this? You still need to help me organize this Ryuutama thing."
"I'll figure something out, don't worry," he assures you.
[ ] A position as a Substitute Teacher at an academy of strange Humans! Gladly accept.
[ ] A year isn't quite enough time for all the information you need, is it? Keep learning.
[ ] You really had your heart set on making your own school.
[ ] Other (Write-In)
