Teach Me, Mothra-sensei!

[Guancyto]

Sultana is completely confident. Nobody else seems to be taking seriously the possibility that you'll just turn her into a grease stain. Your Size Limiter makes it easier for you to do fine manipulations and hold back your immense strength (easier, you broke a lot of pens and glasses and doors when you were first starting out), but you are still a kaiju, you can tear down a Human building by flexing on it too hard if you try.

"Well, okay, if you say so…" you say, trying to keep the trepidation out of your voice. You plant your feet and the ground rumbles. You wind up for a punch and the sheer force of the backswing makes furniture move and desk photos collapse. As you swing at her chest you see her eyes widen and maybe she realizes that maybe, just maybe she's bitten off more than she can chew.

You strike her with enough power to crack a mountain, and she just explodes. Red is everywhere and you stand gaping in absolute shock. Tears start to form at the corners of your eyes. Why? Why did you assume she knew what she was doing just because she was so confident? Why weren't you gentle anyway? You know how. You know how fragile Humans are. You feel like sinking to your knees. You feel like crying. Why didn't the others-

You look to them, as covered in red as you are, and they aren't shocked or distraught or even surprised. Zin'ar has taken off their splattered glasses and has that analytical look again and Hildr is muttering curses under her breath and their eyes are focused not on you but where Sultana stood before you-

Miss Rappacini lays a hand on your shoulder, her eyes comforting. Why is she trying to comfort you when you just-

"Well!" Paratha claps her hands. "Guess I'm in charge now! For my first act as Headmaster, I hereby declare that all teachers must wear tiny miniskirts-"

"Wait for it." Madame Butterfly holds up a finger and your breath goes still. "Wait for it…"

The red on you peels off like someone's calling it home and all across the room it's sucked in and congeals around where Sultana was standing, and something pulls itself through a black rift, a bleeding gash in space, and between the two they shape themselves into the one, the only, the Sultana of Burning Sands.

"Oh well, maybe next time," Paratha says.

"What," is all you can manage.

The room darkens and her eyes glint red and you swear you see the phantom images of swarming bats filling every inch of the room as Sultana puts herself back together. She throws back her head and laughs, a booming thing that fills the room even more completely than the bats.

"I am a Key," she says, as though that explains anything. Maybe she expected you to say something like what are you. Quipping to the wrong prompt is the worst kind of quipping!

"You're an absolute dick is what you are," Hildr says and walks over to slap Sultana upside the head, and it is quite possibly the most satisfying dopeslap you have ever witnessed, "do you have to do this sort of thing every time? At least explain what it's even for!"

"Oh! Right! That!" Sultana straightens up and faces you properly, "so! The Academy of the Holy Wound isn't just a fancy title or something poetic, there's an actual wound in reality here, they built the shrine around it. I'll show it to you sometime! But things come through sometimes and the mikos don't seem to be coming back any time soon and I have to make sure you've got what it takes to protect the students." She looks at you, and notices that you're breathing heavy, you've got the start of tears in your eyes, and you're looking at her like she is, indeed, an absolute dick. She could have chosen literally any other way of testing that!

"Er, eheh, maybe we could have gone a little easier the first test," she rubs the back of her neck, "you okay?"

[ ] ...ahaha. Fine. No problem. All good here. Just excuse yourself to the restroom and go throw up.
[ ] Hit her again.
[ ] Tell her off. What the hell was she thinking?! ...also, she made a school on a hole that monsters come out of? What the hell was she thinking?!
[ ] Okay yes that was an absolute dick move but your curiosity has gotten you this far and it's way too strong right now. Press her to tell you everything.
[ ] This was not in the job description. You're going to need a raise. A big raise.
[ ] You're not going to work under someone like this. Quit and found your own school, and do it without traumatizing your teachers. (As you found your own edifice of education, The Academy of the Holy Wound will be your first rival school.)

Whether you storm out or demand explanations or play it off, you'll have the chance to talk to someone individually (even if they have to chase you down). Who is it?

[ ] [Talk] The bosslady herself, the Sultana of Burning Sands
[ ] [Talk] The sharp-dressed businesslady with the spear, Hildr.
[ ] [Talk] The tall, skinny Human with the wig and glasses, Zin'ar.
[ ] [Talk] The Human with amazing hair and ambient butterflies, Madame Butterfly.
[ ] [Talk] The fiery Human with lizard features, Paratha.
[ ] [Talk] The well-covered Human with the compassionate eyes, Miss Rappacini.

 

[Guancyto]

You think for a second about what to do. You really want to hit her again, not enough for her to pull that trick again but just enough to bounce her against the far wall and then for a second act you'll throw some desks on top of her. Possibly all the desks. But you decide, instead, to… what's the charming expression? 'Hit them in the wallet.'

"You asked for a substitute teacher." You cross your arms, your wings and feelers twitching.

"Well, that's not completely-"

"You need a substitute teacher who can also fight things that come out of a hole in space, and protect small and fragile Humans at the same time."

Sultana stops her hedging and nods. "Absolutely! I have to say I'm impress-"

"I want to be paid more. A lot more."

It seems a little… crude? To worry about such a thing. But even your short time in the Human world has taught you that if a Human is paying a great deal of money for something, they will take it more seriously and treat it with more care. You don't intend to see the Sultana making light of your strength or taking it for granted.

Also, a secondary concern to being given the proper respect, miniatures and gamebooks are so expensive it's unreal.

You're gratified in this decision as Sultana starts making a high-pitched noise that sounds like the air being slowly let out of a balloon and Madame Butterfly laughs uproariously.

"Parathaaaaaaa," it's not quite a whine but the Headmaster is definitely pleading with her subordinate.

"I am absolutely not helping you with that," the lizardlike Human fixes her with a grin, "you pull the pranks, you pay the piper."

Sultana looks to Hildr, who shakes her head. "Maybe that'll teach you not to pull stunts like this, 'tana."

Zin'ar pushes their glasses up on their nose. "In truth, this would be substantial grounds for a lawsuit," they say before they can even start to be looked to, and the Headmaster reacts as though physically struck.

"Look, there's no need for that, I'm sure we can arrange some manner of additional compensation," Sultana says to you with a nervous laugh, "anything for the safety of my students and the wellbeing of my staff, right?"

Your arms remain uncrossed and you get a little thrill in your chest seeing her defeated like this. "See that you do. I'll make sure it's adequate."

"Okay, er. With, with that out of the way let's just… let's just move on with the meeting, shall we?"

The rest of the staff meeting isn't particularly interesting. Even if the Humans are quite unusual and the Academy is quite strange, the logistical side of schooling seems to be pretty close to what you know already. Staff policy, curriculum, medical leave. There are a few people on staff that you haven't yet met; a secretary, a school nurse and a librarian, and you look forward to getting to know them when the school year begins! It looks like classes will remain in place, and teachers will rotate depending on the subject, and someone will always be on duty watching over the hole in space just in case there's an Incident.

You depart with a folder full of papers and instructions, a very large IOU BETTER SALARY that is written in red ink and not (physically, anyway) the Headmaster's tears, and the distinct impression that this is going to work out, haze notwithstanding. As you part, the Human with the incredible flowing hair and butterflies jogs to catch up with you.

"Hey, good job back there, new girl," she smiles at you, and it's a heart-meltingly brilliant thing that brightens up your day immediately, "I mean it. Sully is a bit much sometimes, but you've adjusted really well to living here!"

You press your hands to your chest. Is this what they call 'butterflies in your stomach'? You haven't even eaten any of hers but you feel like they're all dancing inside you. "I… wow. I've worked really hard at it, I just-"

"That was absolutely ruthlessly Human," her smile gets more sly. Oh. "When someone messes with you, make them pay for it. With currency. A pound of flesh is more classic but she's got that to spare."

"Guess I gave it away that I'm not from around here, huh?" you say, embarrassed. Your disguise is very good! But yes, Humans don't tend to be that strong.

She cocks her head to one side and looks at you curiously before she continues, "yeah, yeah, if you hadn't been vetted we wouldn't have made the offer. Too many dangerous people to just bring in anyone, you know?."

The two of you walk side-by-side for a moment and you try to think of something to say that isn't just marveling at her really good hair.

"So Hildr said something like that happens every time someone's new," you say, and you aren't exactly sure how you're going to word the second half of that.

"You're wondering what I was subjected to," she says, and you can't help but feel relief.

"Yes!"

She raises her chin proudly, "Nothing. I was here first."

It's your turn to be puzzled, "wait, why aren't you the Drama Queen here, then?"

Madame Butterfly looks at you, parses what you've just said, thinks a second and then starts laughing again. It's brilliant, like the sound of bells. "I made a promise to the maiden of the shrine that if she wasn't here, I'd look after this place in her stead," she says; apparently whatever she found amusing in your words isn't something she intends to share. "Everybody else is intruding in my space, not the other way around. I figure I can sit around playing tricks on everyone or I can make myself useful, you know?"

"I do!" you agree, but the slyness of her smile gives you a thought, "but you do play tricks on people too, though, I'm guessing?"

Madame Butterfly straightens up, the picture of affronted elegance. "My word, I cannot believe you are accusing me of such a thing!"

You give her a searching look and it is entirely ineffective in cracking her facade.

"Hey," she elbows you, "I should probably give you a tour and all, but do you want to get out of here? I know a cafe nearby and their drinks are to die for."

Wait, she isn't asking you on a date, is she? No, definitely not. You've heard only a little of this elusive yet constant shadow over the social lives of Humans but this definitely isn't it because she'd have said so if it were.

[ ] Tour! You need to see your new workplace.
[ ] Cafe! Why do you suspect this involves nectar?
[ ] Probably not a date but you can't take that chance! Flee!
[ ] Politely decline. No need to be dramatic about it.
[ ] Other (Write-In)

 

[Guancyto]

You can't decide! You pace in a little circle, dithering on it while your wings flutter, and it's only your spectacular wherewithal that keeps you from saying out loud, "think, think, think." Butterfly takes pity on you and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"We'll get a drink some other time. I guess I can do my job and show you around."

Oh! You perk up as you think of something. Humans do have a way to square that circle. A fascinating contraption that spits out bottles of lightly flavored sugar-water. "There were vending machines around, I think?"

Butterfly shakes her head. "Well, yes, but it's not the same! It's all about the atmosphere, the showmanship, the outfits, the tiny umbrellas!"

Hmmm. You had seen a thing on the Internet where a Human put an outfit on their cup and called it a Mug Cozy. You're not exactly sure why it's important to dress up a drink and give it an umbrella and you sort of hope that it isn't an indication that Mugs are sentient creatures somehow, but you're willing to give Butterfly the benefit of the doubt.

You buy the two of you some sugary drinks anyway, and the two of you take your tour of the grounds while sipping on them. Every now and then you come across a strategically placed little platform with sugar-water on it and Madame's butterflies take a break from flitting around her to alight and have their own drink.

Without any students yet the grounds are peaceful and the wind blows through green trees with pointed petals. Rather than one central building there are stone walkways connecting outbuildings with sloped wooden roofs. The frequent fountains and stone lanterns are nearly hidden beneath green and without being close to a given building it more resembles a park than a school grounds.

"It must be really easy to get lost here," you peer around a corner in the path where Butterfly has just disappeared to. When you catch up she's busy checking on a statue of a strange creature (a lion maybe? It looks lion-adjacent), brushing dirt off its back and out of its mouth.

She laughs, "you have no idea. Stick to the path, and if you can't find your way just ask one of these babies to show you the way." She pats the statue and you cock your head at her, not sure if she's serious. She grins at you; it could be she's also not quite above this "haze" thing. "Or call to me, I'm good at finding people in here."

"You'll get used to it in no time! So!" she claps her hands, "aside from the classrooms, there are two big things. First is the first aid kits, in case there's a medical or spiritual emergency. Two in every room."

She faithfully shows you the little cabinets marked with a red cross. You got some of this in your schooling but you're very certain that a stick with paper on the end, little bottles of water and paper strips with strange writing on them aren't part of Human medicine. You pick up a bottle of water and look at her dubiously.

"Sometimes things that get out of the rift are a little slippery," she smiles, "we haven't had to perform an exorcism lately but it pays to be prepared, right? Right, that's the other one."

The two of you cross through a large, centrally-located building with a mostly-empty inside (Butterfly says it's an auditorium now - your Human mecha pilot friend told you to be careful of "Auditors" so you step carefully), to a building at the back of the school grounds fenced in with wood posts.

"And this," Butterfly stands in front of a door, "is the piece de resistance, the creme de la creme, the whole banana! I introduce you to… the Holy Wound!"

She opens the door dramatically. In the build-up you've had some ideas on what it might be, and your conclusion is it's probably like the rift that separates your world from the Human world. "Wound" would be a dramatic way of describing it but not exactly inaccurate.

Looking at the purple and black and red and gray gash that the building seems to have been built around, wound is if anything an understatement. The colored light bleeds out from it and it's only several feet away that the colors start to dissipate. Your eyes start to hurt as you look at it and yet it's hard to look away, the shifting starry patterns of black, the viscous seeping of red, the shifting streamers of purple…

"It's something, isn't it?" Paratha has been sitting on the wooden railing that separates the inner and outer sanctum, kicking her legs and snacking out of a bowl that looks like she grudgingly added some popcorn to her chili powder.

Still, the similarities between it and the Rift are close enough that you take a leap of logic. "Where does it lead?"

"Ooh, new girl is asking the right questions. Usually people are all, 'is it going to end the world' or 'is it growing' or 'my god it's full of stars.'"

"A Netherworld," Butterfly says, coming in and closing the door behind you, "some are quite tame and a safe resting place for Human souls. This one is a mess because its ruler has been destroyed and its Key lost."

"I understood maybe a quarter of that," you pout. Sultana described herself as a Key, does that mean she has some kind of connection to a resting place for Human souls? And whatever caused this problem is apparently stronger than you, because Sultana took a full-force hit from you just to show off. You don't like the sound of that!

"Don't worry about it," Paratha laughs and offers you the bowl of popcorn.

[ ] Might as well try it!
[ ] Politely decline the burning-death-fire popcorn.

"All you need to know is that ghosts and gribblies come out of it sometimes. Your job if you're on guard duty is to stall them and figure out whether or not they're nice, and if they are, get one of us so we can figure out a solution that doesn't involve them going back."

You chew on your tongue, trying to find your feet in this strange situation. "So they're not harmful? But it has to be guarded."

Butterfly nods. "Most aren't really that dangerous. But they'll often be... confused. Even if they used to be Human, the world won't be as they left it and the process is disorienting." You feel a sudden pang of sympathy for these Humans or former-Humans or whatever they are, thrust into a new world beyond their imagining.

"And they won't want to go back?" You won't deny having felt homesick, but you can go home any time you like.

"Hell no!" Paratha scoffs, "well, maybe you'll get one that's just curious but things kinda suck on the other side. We've been, it's not a good place." She gets a little mischievous smile. "I could show you. You're definitely tough enough to cross."

"Paratha…" Butterfly furrows her brow in consternation and her ambient butterflies swirl around her faster.

"You're giving her orientation, right? This is part of orientation! We'll be quick," the lizardlike Human hops down from her railing and beckons you over. "Come on. It'll be a good lesson. "

[ ] Accept. You've already explored one alien world, might as well have a look at a second.
[ ] Decline. You're just figuring out this weird alien world, no need to complicate your life.

 

[Guancyto]

While you were studying you were exposed to one very important rule of Human culture: when free food is offered, never turn it down. Your fellow students didn't have your ludicrously powerful digestion and didn't take it quite so literally, so your culinary courage in chowing down on lug nuts that someone told you were food became a bit of a legend.

And hey, the metal didn't even taste bad.

This popcorn, on the other hand, tastes like fire. You know you're a bit of a edge case when it comes to spicy things because your Size Limiter has made your biology somewhat more humanlike, so while a Moth won't have an adverse reaction to capsaicin a Human will. Chilis just have a nice kick to them and you can drink hot sauce by the bottle, so you were expecting something like that.

This does not taste like chilis. It just tastes like fire. Your face feels hot and your throat feels burny and you open your mouth and exhale and a jet of actual, physical fire spews out.

...actually that'd be really useful in the right circumstances, is what you think once you've cooled down a bit.

Spoiler: Consumable Unlock

Paratha's Popcorn: This excessively hot snack allows you to breathe fire for a short period - if you're tough enough to take the heat.

Paratha appears pleased by your bravery, and hands you the bowl.

Spoiler: Attitude

Paratha will remember this.

"See, Butterfly? New Girl is super tough. Let's go!" she cheers, and plants her feet on the railing. You feel the ground shake a little as she kicks off, diving headfirst into the hole in space.

Madame Butterfly smiles at you even as she's shaking her head. "As long as you're careful in there. It's really not safe."

You pound your fist against your chest proudly. "I'm really not safe! But just in case it and me are different kinds of really not safe, you should tell me what to expect anyway."

"Oh! Yes!" Butterfly puts her hands behind her back and straightens her shoulders, and her hair curls up on itself and goes from a brilliant brown waterfall stretching to her feet to a tight and businesslike bun.

"Make very sure to not touch or press on the edges of the rift; pushing on the wall between dimensions is a lot more perilous than going through a hole," she lectures, "don't accept anything given to you, don't agree to anything, and make sure to keep either the rift or Paratha in your sight at all times. Getting lost in there is much worse than getting lost on the school grounds. Paratha's an old hand at this, so you'll be all right as long as you stick together."

"Is that all?" you ask, "It seems pretty straightforward! I was expecting the 'weave a circle round them thrice' sort of advice."

Butterfly smiles mysteriously. "You shouldn't have to do anything like that if you stay near the entrance. Which you should."

You nod and, following Paratha's example, dive right into the rift. You're very careful to tuck in your wings so they don't catch on the edge - you don't want to lose them for anything!

It is cold.

It is so, so cold.

You came to the Human world from the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and it wasn't this cold. A black wind howls overhead and a feeling deep in your bones (or your feelers, anyway) screams that this is not a place for you. But the environment seems pleasant and homey! You're in a room not unlike the one you've left, with wood paneling and washed-out colors and a Human with long black hair covering her face sits on the floor in a lotus position, wearing some sort of white and red robe. You don't see Paratha.

"...oh, hello!" You wave to the strange Human, your wings fluttering in excitement. Butterfly sold you on it being a scary place and the atmosphere is a bit unwelcoming, but here's a friendly face already! Well, you can't see her face, but you're reasonably sure she's friendly, "Have you seen my friend? You can't miss her, she's a Human with a big tail."

The Human cocks her head to one side at you as though puzzled, her straight hair falling like a sheet, and then cocks it further until it's well beyond the range of what a Human neck is capable of and further still until it's upside-down and her hair should logically fall away from her face but it's just more hair underneath.

"What's your name?" you ask, undeterred. Humans are capable of such strange things! The response is a loud humming that sounds like a chorus of ten voices at once. You're not sure you can exactly replicate that, but you can try.

You give a polite bow. "I'm very pleased to meet you, HMMMMM!" Nope, even with your best impression you can only make it sound like two or three voices. You hope she doesn't mind you mispronouncing her name, Humans are touchy about that sometimes! "You can call me Mothra, Defender of Earth Science!"

You get a lower-pitched hum in response, which you think sounds like an acknowledgement.

Well, Butterfly told you you should keep the Rift or Paratha in your sight, but you don't see Paratha at all. You did take a bit of time with Butterfly's lecture, so maybe she got bored and wandered off? Maybe you should look for her? Or maybe you should stay put and let her find you.

[ ] Chat with your new friend while waiting for Paratha to come back
[ ] Go searching for Paratha, she was supposed to be your guide!
[ ] Propose that you and HMMMMM go on an expedition to find her
[ ] Have a look around!
[ ] Other (Write-In)

 

[Guancyto]

Well, Butterfly said to keep the rift in sight, so you're going to do that. But that doesn't mean you can't look outside! Exits are north, south, strange and charm. The rift looks reversed in colors, yellows and greens and whites that almost look like the sun pouring through the trees.

"So have you been here a long time?" you ask as you open the north door, which opens into a roiling river of metal wire wending its way through a black sky with lightning streaking through it. It's a little hypnotic to watch, but there's no Paratha!

The HMM from your new friend is lower-pitched and only a couple of voices, which sounds a little more like a sigh. Wistful? You think wistful. But it's very long, so you think they've been here a long time.

"Do you like it here? It seems a little cramped," you say. The south door reveals a large scaled red beast fighting with a thing covered from head to toe in cloth that looks like it's sewed hundreds of stuffed animals onto its covering. You can see feet at the very bottom as it kicks off a rolling green hill to avoid a claw (quite literally rolling, as the red monster has to take wing for a second to avoid it). You wave at them but they seem occupied with what they're doing. Maybe you'll meet them later, but still no Paratha!

There's only a single voice in the HMMM in response. It sounds angry! Oh no, was that the wrong question?

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that," you shut the door on the melee and turn back to your new friend, "it's homey. Cozy. Uh, uh," you blank and seize on the first thing that comes to mind, "is there any tea?"

It cocks its head at you, going from upside-down to about a nine o'clock position, and teacups and a teapot all of red clay start to appear in front of it set on a low table. Its legs switch from a lotus position to an elegant kneel and the colors in its dress bleed and segregate themselves, instead of a riot of red and white colors the shirt portion becomes white and the skirt becomes red. Its hair sweeps down to manipulate the pot until you start to pick up your teacup. It stops completely dead, and after a moment's deliberation it's always had arms and hands to use.

"You're an exceptional Human, HMMMM," you say warmly, holding up your teacup to it, "it would be my pleasure to have tea with you." Yes, Butterfly told you not to accept anything given to you but this isn't given to you, it's just sitting there and you happen to be picking it up.

There isn't actually any tea in the teacups or the pot so it's a bit of funny pantomime, but it seems to take some comfort in that. You're expecting to see a face, especially as they raise the teacup to it.

"Is there anything under all that hair?" you ask, and you get a four-voice HMM that you think sounds sad.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that's impolite again," you bow your head, "it's lovely hair. A Human doesn't need a-" you stop, as on the table they present you with ten black-and-white photographs that weren't there a second ago, all of Human women in the same sort of dress. The faces aren't covered in hair, but they are completely blurred out and it's hard to tell the difference between them but you think they're of different Humans, little difference in build and height even if the hairstyle and clothes are roughly the same.

"These are you?" Rather than a chorus of HMMM, there's a succession of them, and they sound negative.

"One of these is you?" The response is practically a chirp, so you go on and take a leap of logic, "but you're not sure which." A single HMM, an affirmative!

"I don't think I can help with… hmm." Great, now they've got you doing it! "I could go get Madame Butterfly, she said she was a friend of-" at the name, the Human claps their hands and the space is filled with butterflies. She… yes! She has a face now, faintly like it's far underwater, definitely Human, red lips and made-up cheeks. You feel a thrill at this progress.

It's about this time that the strange door opens and Paratha slides down and lands on the floor, carrying something.

"Oh, new girl, I see you're getting on wel- huh, you got her to remember her face just by talking? Well, a little, anyway."

"I was just being polite," it is a humblebrag because you are beaming, and a chorus of three HMMs from the Human back you up.

"A little reckless dealing with the unknown, but good deal," she says, and offers what looks like an old and worn stuffed rabbit to the Human. "Here, girl, this one's yours."

The Human takes it and clasps it to her chest. She has a face, and it is a weathered and wrinkled Human face. Her hair is grey and much less prehensile. A wave of color washes over the room and it suddenly looks very much like the room on the other side of the rift, save that this one is bedazzled in trees and plants that look like the grounds.

"Thank you, dear," she says to you and Paratha, in only one voice, "it's so hard to remember these days." She reaches out with very Human hands and ruffles your hair, which you accept with a minimum of fuss.

"Doesn't help when a Collector has stolen your things," Paratha frowns, and shrugs at your look of puzzlement. "A Collector doesn't remember what they own, so they just take things with memories in them in hopes of getting something right. A nuisance to you and me, but a real menace to dead Humans. Not a thing that happens in a healthy Netherworld, a little too common here."

"Poor lost souls just the same," the Human says sadly. "If it could've helped-"

"It wouldn't," Paratha snaps, "the wrong memories just make them even more lost."

You're going to need to ask a lot more questions, but first things first. "So what is your name?" you ask the Human. "This was just supposed to be a brief visit, but I'm glad I could meet you!"

"Atsuko," the Human says after a moment's hesitation. "Please call me Atsuko. I'm glad you could visit... Mothra, Defender of Earth Science? Ha ha! Still got it. Knock 'em dead, kiddo."

You aren't going to get a more ringing endorsement than that. You and Paratha take another dive through to the Human world, where Butterfly has clearly been anxiously pacing.

"So?" she says when you come through, "how was it?"

[ ] Write-In (strictly optional)

Your orientation complete, you bid farewell to your new coworkers. You'll probably spend a lot of time between now and the beginning of the school year brushing up on the curriculum, but that leaves some empty space in your volcano-themed calendar. What else do you do?

[ ] Figure out technology. At very least you need to understand how an overhead projector works.
[ ] Develop your notes for a roleplaying campaign, you're not sure who you're going to invite to your debut but you want to be better prepared!
[ ] Call up your Human mecha pilot friend and hang out, find out what lies in his future.
[ ] Go through the Student files. You know some of them have allergies and special needs, and making extra sure you can accommodate those will be important.
[ ] Go out and have fun! Who knows what you'll run into?
[ ] Other (Write-In)

With your new salary, you can probably afford more than you could before. Do you buy anything special?

[ ] Write-In

 

[Guancyto]

Butterfly and Paratha seem satisfied that you find the Netherworld interesting, but your proposal of finding more people and running a roleplaying game there gets them… puzzled, to say the least.

"Well, you'd have to go out and find people, usually when someone gets near the rift they want to go through because a broken Netherworld isn't a nice place. But…" Paratha's tail swishes as she's sat on the railing again, "you want to do what with them?"

"It's basically an elaborate version of make-believe, only with miniatures, and dungeons, and in this case giant dragons that hold up the world and eat stories so there are these smaller dragon archivists that roam the land collecting stories for them…" you start to explain. Paratha smiles at the last bit and you're not entirely sure why. "You play the role of a character you've designed, and when I describe something happening in the imaginary world you react as they would."

There is a curious silence.

"We'd have to talk about it. Full council-style," Butterfly says, her hand on her chin.

You blink. "I didn't think it'd be such a big deal."

"Normally it wouldn't be!" Paratha says, swinging her legs, "Memory and identity are kind of important over there. The thing that stole Atsuko's memento did it because it didn't remember who it was, and bringing on so many memories of people who it wasn't just made the problem worse. Letting dead Humans play roles of people that don't exist could be a real problem if they don't have the right grounding."

"And," Butterfly says, "ghosts aren't very, well, creative? You'd want something Earthlike and historical. No dragons."

"No story-eating dragons," Paratha laughs, "but if you did it just right, putting a spark of imagination into a Human ghost could help them become a little less faded. A little more internally motivated. A little more alive."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? "Wait, wait, wait, so, we could roleplay a Human back to life?"

"If you do it all the way it's more like reincarnation," Butterfly corrects you immediately, and you note that you have a new word to look up, "and any sort of creativity would work. It's hard, though. Like teaching someone with no muscles to walk again."

Hmmm. Maybe not for your first campaign, then. You didn't know roleplaying was so metaphysically powerful!

---

You are going to be a diligent and effective teacher and that means learning your students' needs. No peanut or gluten allergies are slipping by on your watch, no sir! You sip from your new teacup (white ceramic with pink patterns like lace) and make sure your figurines are in order (obviously King Ghidorah occupies the most prominent place as is proper, but the moth ones also enjoy a place of honor). With everything in order you lay out the files on your table in tiles, going through each to try and make sense of them. There are quite a few, actually! A need for a ball of yarn handy to soothe their anxiety issues. A need to be kept away from electromagnetic pulse generators (not that you were thinking of having one of those in science class). A need for an electric blanket in winter is exceptionally common, although you suspect that they just want to have one. A need to… not get in the damn robot?

Your friend! It's really him! Your first Human friend is going to be one of your students! He looks like one of the very few Humans who aren't genetically engineered in some way. He's really going to stand out.

You are going to tease him relentlessly about this.

Spoiler: Unlock

Student profiles have been added to Dramatis Personae.

And as you arrive for the first day of school, you get the opportunity sooner rather than later. You've spent a few days in this place setting up before the beginning, but you weren't ready for the crowds when students finally arrived! The beginning is chaos, with tails and horns and wings and backpacks and messenger bags everywhere. Butterflies fly in formation to form shimmering multicolored arrows and flit about to lead lost students to their proper places. Sultana marches through holes in space leading small groups of students and then closes the holes again with a wave of her hand. They look an awful lot like the Rift but she seems to have full control over them, which you resolve to ask her about when she isn't playing the role of Bus for students that look like they've come from very far away indeed.

In all this chaos, more or less unnoticed is a collection of five Humans. Three are very tall, with big horns and long tails with a brush on the end. They're currently holding a backpack high, high, high over the head of another student, laughing and taunting… your friend! They're bullying your friend! He's not even trying to grab for his pack, just keeping his head down and hoping they get bored. You don't know what "Freshie" means but it doesn't sound complimentary, either.

The person that the big Humans seem to be trying to impress is someone you recognize from the class photos - Safiya, the Headmaster's daughter. For all their efforts the petite redhead is still playing with her smartphone, completely unimpressed. You think you hear something through the buzz about how this is dumb but you aren't exactly sure.

What do you do?

[ ] He could squish these guys flat in a robot suit. That counts for something, right? Let him fight his own battles.
[ ] Get closer, try to figure out exactly what's going on before you jump right in.
[ ] No, jump right in! Punch on the snoot to establish dominance! Well, more like mass detention. Maybe with a little snoot punching.
[ ] You're not really good at sneaking or manipulation or anything like that, but maybe you can enlist a confederate for some kind of scheme.
-[ ] To humiliate the big horned Humans.
-[ ] To make your friend look like the Hero you know him to be.
[ ] Other (Write-In)

 

[Guancyto]

There were parts in the teacher's manual about making sure you had a firm grasp of the situation before dispensing punishments. As much as you'd really like to punch them in the snoot, it doesn't suit your new position to jump to snoot-punching so readily. So you edge closer, a little sneaky-sneak to make sure they don't notice you. You are not in any way subtle because you are very tall by Human standards and you wouldn't know sneaky-sneak if it punched you in the snoot, but you are also a new teacher so students don't recognize you yet, which is almost as good.

"Are you done?" your friend is keeping his head down, but you can see the old steely glint in his eye. He's not intimidated, he just doesn't want to fight. His assailants… don't really seem to get that, or maybe they don't care.

"Freshie's asking if we're done," the leading horned Human snorts.

"Maybe he'll take his seriously if the bag ends up in the fountain, huh?"

You see a displeased frown on your friend's face, and you're about to intervene, when...

"Petty rogues and miscreants!" One of the students, a redhead with her hair in twintails, carrying some kind of metal rod, has climbed up on top of the nearby outbuilding and is standing atop the highest place she can find to make her speech. "With such base acts you disgrace the name of Villainy! I, Izumi Faust, Mistress of Evil, will bring judgment upon you! I will fall upon you with a rush of furious anger and great judgment and you will know my name!"

You recognize her from the student photos. Her special need is to have a variety of costumes on hand, as indeed the black leather costume with epaulets and a cape attests to. President of what was called the Public Speaking Club until she got ahold of it, now called the Villainy Club. That change seems significant somehow but you don't exactly know why.

Still, the cape is quite striking.

The lead horned Human rolls his eyes. "Oh damn it, why her?"

His confederate agrees. "Let's get out of here, she'll be at it all day, nobody's got time for that."

The last one is already on his way out. "You got lucky, shrimp!" and as they leave they toss his bag at his feet.

The Headmaster's daughter rolls her eyes and goes with them. "Now are you going to help me move the piano or not?"

"I will till your fields with your blood and salt your fields with, uh, salt… no, with your tears! And… hey where are you going! Get back here!"

They don't stop walking away.

"...yes!" Faust rallies. "Scurry away in terror of my might and remember the one who has struck fear into your hearts!"

She hops down and takes your friend's bag to offer it back to him, not noticing that he's already in the process of picking it up. It's an awkward tangle of arms until he finally has it back.

"Uh, thanks?" he says. He's blushing a little.

"This wasn't a good deed!" Faust huffs as she runs off, with a parting, "I was just in the neighborhood! Remember that!"

...this entire school is filled with drama queens, isn't it?

[ ] Oh no, they're not just walking away. You get detention! And you get detention! And YOU get detention! EVERYBODY GETS DETENTION.
[ ] Er, the three bullies get detention. You're not exactly sure what would happen if you gave detention to the Headmaster's daughter and she wasn't really involved?
[ ] Go give your friend a pat on the head and make sure he gets to his first class without being bothered further. Is this what he's going to have to deal with every day?
[ ] "Mistress of Evil" is a pretty bold title, go chase her and find out if she's going to be trouble?
[ ] Other (Write-in)

 

[Guancyto]

Your friend seems baffled by the whole affair, so you let this so-called Mistress of Evil and the bullies go, although you do resolve to find who they were and put a NOTE IN THEIR PERMANENT RECORD about this incident. This is, as you understand, one of the most fearsome abilities of teachers and you intend to make full use of it.

You approach, and a glance between the two of you confirms that you saw the whole thing. You're only somewhat familiar with Human means of comfort, but you do know one. You reach out and pat him on the head, ruffling his hair slightly. He seems… nonplussed at the gesture? But he doesn't object.

"Should I have stepped in?" you ask him. You actually do want to know.

He shakes his head, which ruffles his hair further. "I think it would've made things worse. They would've gotten bored and given up eventually, but, well," he nods in the direction of where Faust went, "that works too?"

You really don't think that's correct, in your experience some people only understand a good snoot-punching, but you're willing to consider that he might have a better handle on how Humans work than you do.

"How did you end up here, anyway?" you ask as the two of you walk to his homeroom. You're happy to see him but you have to admit he's a little out of place. Well, a lot out of place. "You're a Hero, right? You could have gone to any school you wanted."

"This is what I asked for, as it turns out," he says, his smile is rueful and that's not acceptable, it's much too early for any rues! "I just didn't think it would be so…" he trails off.

You cock your head to one side. "'As it turns out?'" What a strange turn of phrase! "What did you ask for?"

"They asked what kind of school I wanted to go to now that the fighting's done, and I said I wanted a school for learning how to be human."

Oh. Oh.

"Honestly? Not sure anybody here has any idea how," he laughs a little, "guess we'll all learn together, right?"

These are very unusual Humans, it's true, but you think it adds to their charm. But you have learned that one of the things Human Culture does fuss over is the difference between being physically Human and some ineffable quality called "being human."

"You know, I think being not human is pretty great," you toss your hair and give him a big smile, "with how well you did in the old days I'd consider you an honorary kaiju, if you wanted."

He winces, pained, "please no. Sorry. No offense. I really would like to just be human."

You shrug! "Your loss."

…

Your own homeroom is inconveniently not the same as his, so you have to zoom a bit to make it in time. The first thing that hits you is the smell.

It's not a bad smell! In fact it's glorious, butter and cinnamon and bread and if you didn't know better you'd say the classroom had been converted into a bakery somehow.

Which is not entirely inaccurate, as when you open the door you're greeted with the sight a chaotic mess surrounding one of your students distributing from a heaping platter of cinnamon rolls.

One of your students in particular! You remember her from the student files. Emma Riley Coils, noted as a trickster, a prankster, a hacker, and also relevant in this case, the President of the Cooking Club. The short girl's eyes are yellow with dark little concentric rings in them, and she has the kind of fluffy pale hair that's quite reminiscent of your own. She's also wearing a dark blue school uniform, which would be quite normal except that the Academy of the Holy Wound doesn't have a school uniform. So… you guess she just likes the look?

"Hello! It's very nice to meet you!" she zooms up to you the second you open the door without even needing to turn to confirm who you are. She presents you with a cinnamon roll as well and a smile so beaming you might get sunburn from the glare, "I baked some for you too!"

When you were told there would be challenges in your time as a teacher, this is not what you were thinking of. Nevertheless, how do you handle this?

[ ] There's no harm in allowing the distribution of delicious baked goods, even if it will disrupt the morning. Allow your student to proceed.
[ ] There might be some harm if she doesn't do so equally! Oversee the process and make sure that everyone gets their share.
[ ] Have them save them for lunch time; students stay in the same classroom and teachers rotate so everyone will still get one, but they'll have them during free time instead of now.
[ ] A prankster, the file said! You're going to go over these cinnamon rolls with a fine-toothed comb and make sure there's nothing squirrely about them.
-[ ] And then what afterward?
[ ] Other (Write-in)

Regardless of your choices for the baked goods, you also need to decide how you're going to introduce yourself and what tack you're going to take in your instruction.

[ ] A formal introduction! Provide structure to chaos and keep them in their seats. You're here to teach and students are here to learn.
[ ] A friendly introduction! There's no need to be stiff. Do something to relieve tension, like an ice-breaker. You learned several even if you were never quite sure why they were called that.
[ ] A science introduction! Structure and friendliness are well and good but you're here for Science, so some kind of fun practical experiment will get them engaged.
[ ] Other (Write-in)