Sune's Solution (D&D/MGE)
- Thread starter Erien
- Start date
- Mature Fantasy
1.5 - Count-ry Knowledge.
Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKzm3XbazeI
[Brynhild]
Thanks to @Armoury for the beta!
—
You raise a hand slowly to your skull, rubbing it ever so gently. You felt a headache coming on, you had been feeling a headache coming along quite a bit recently. You were a patient man, you had to be. A non-patient Paladin either ended up a zealot, dead, or both rather quickly. But only a few days prior you were finally on course to get your first 'vacation' in several years of work, and, despite your love of travel and aiding people, you felt that trip to Chult you had planned was becoming more and more distant.
But, this was the life you had chosen to lead. Your plans, such as they were, rarely were allowed to exist as something more than a distant dream. But there was no point in focusing on that now in any case. You put on the smile and look towards Brynhild. "If you do not mind making the attempt, then I would elect you for the task."
Brynhild blinks, her own smile faltering a moment as she looks at you. "Are you sure, sir?"
"You stated you wish to try," you reply.
Brynhild looks to the floor for a moment, then nods her head. The smile returns to full force a moment later as she trots past you, hands straightening her silks as she makes her way over to Ming, the Hakutaku giving the horse-woman a critical eye.
Brynhild was lying of course, she was a frightfully poor liar. She was lying about a lot of things to be honest, but they were harmless little lies, so you allowed her to get away with them. You were curious how this would go regardless. That, and you had never been one particularly known for your wit, either.
"What are the rules for this battle of wits?" Brynhild asks, clasping her hands in front of her waist and doing her very best to look regal.
Ming frowns. "Nothing complicated, I ask question, we debate. You ask question after I ask three."
Brynhild opens her mouth to respond, but heavy thudding footsteps cut her off. She, along with the rest of you watch as Ignis walks past all of you to lay on the floor in the center of the room, her arms moving behind her head. "You two get started, wake me up when the boring crap is over."
Both the Centaur and the Hakutaku stare at the Salamander for a moment longer, before they both regain their bearing at roughly the same time. Ming pushes up her glasses to better sit on her nose, then stares down at Brynhild in much the same way one would a cockroach. "What is the 7th stage of Magister Vladimir's Incantations? And what implication does it have for the ongoing stability of magical constructs after the Spellplague?"
You blink, as does Brynhild. Though for two entirely different reasons you imagine.
… Where did her accent go?
"Vla…dimir?" Brynhild parrots. "Well. He, well, he brings up many interesting points that I think are definitely worth further discussion. As for the incantation it's… well, everyone knows that one so there's no real point in talking about it." Brynhild raises a fist to her mouth and coughs. "But as for the ongoing stability of the constructs, they should… be replaced more regularly was the conclusion I gleaned from it."
"A pathetic answer, you have clearly not read the text, or you would understand that he actually stated that magical golems can be fully expected to last more. What scholars trained you? A children's book?"
Brynhild frowns. "Ma'am, you insult me!"
"Oh, so you figured that out at least." Ming replies, sneering. "Next question, per the high clerics of New Absalom, under the watchful eye of the Cupid Council. Can one do morally questionable things while still being considered an objectively good person?"
Brynhild tilts her head. "That seems… more philosophical than something requiring wits."
"And yet it has a finite answer, what is yours?" Ming asks, crossing her arms.
"I… think everyone has different standards of what is 'good', and trying to label any one thing or another as 'good' is… in itself inherently flawed and overly judgmental. So I don't understand how someone could be objectively good without… um. You know, being a noble knight or hero or something."
Ming snorts. "Is that your answer?"
Brynhild hesitates for a moment, then nods.
"What is good is what furthers Monsterkind, and to be objectively good is anything that furthers that goal. Per the Cupid Council, what matters not in the method, but the result. Study your history horse."
Brynhild stomps a hoof against the stone floor, cracking it underfoot. "The Cupid Council, nor anyone else, can't decide what is good or not. That is up to the individual!"
"Says the Bicorn." Ming responds, sneering. "Last question. A very popular question in this realm. If something is evil by its very nature of existence, but young, does it deserve death?"
"Define, young." Brynhild hisses.
"A newborn." Ming replies.
"Then of course not, an infant has about as much of a capacity to understand morality as a newborn calf. Why should they be punished for the actions of their parents?" Brynhild states. "To do so otherwise… would… would be utter barbarity of the highest order!"
Ming stares down at Brynhild. "And wrong again, for evil is evil."
Bryhild steps forward, feet away from Ming. "You don't know that. What proof is there?"
"In this realm? Magic, magic can tell the truth of good and evil." Ming replies. "Why should something designed to be evil by its very nature be allowed to live?"
"You're a Hakutaku, you're supposed to learn things and seduce men, since when do you act philosophical?" Brynhild says, her voice a hiss.
Ming smiles. "I am indeed brilliant and knowledgeable in all things, but the philosophical questions of this realm interest me. And I gathered by your diction that you would be of little interest to battle in a game of intellect. So I went with questions more focused o-"
"What's tha' best cure for a Holstaur's upset stomach?" Brynhild asks, interrupting Ming. Her hands were balled at her sides, anger clear as day on her face. She was also, coincidentally, no longer sounding like a 'refined lady', as she painted herself. Indeed, it was a fair bit rougher of a tone now.
"This contest is over, you have nothing to challenge with." Ming responds. "Either find another challenger or leave me to the books."
"Are ya just ta' much of ah stupid half-cow to answer?" Brynhild asks. "Maybe ta' much philosophy instead of anthin' useful."
Ming frowns, rather deeply at that. "... The cure for an upset stomach in Holstaurs is the same for other creatures I would imagine, a simple application of crushed ginger should suffice."
"Ginger? Sure, if ya wanted her mooing all through the night in pain. Ginger makes Holstaur's want ta eat more, beer, beer will calm their stomach and help with digestion."
"... Fascinating, but I fail to see the relevance."
"Course not, goin' by the size of those useless udders of yers ah assume ya have no problems eatin' yer fill." Brynhild says, smiling. "Now," she raises her hand to her mouth again, composing herself for a moment before lowering it once more. "Pray tell, what is the best course of action if your corn has begun growing sideways?"
"Growing… sideways?" Ming parrots. "How does corn grow sideways."
"Well if you don't even know that, I suppose you cannot bestow upon yourself the title of… what was it?" Brynhild asks, tapping a finger to her chin. "Oh, right. Knowledgeable in all things, yes. A truly lofty title indeed, fit for a fairy tale."
"Plants grow straight or towards the sun, they cannot, as you say, grow sideways."
Brynhild gives Ming a look of great pity. "My apologies, you must have never experienced the wind in your library. Your studies must have been deep indeed to sequester yourself away from the world for that long. The answer, if you wish to add it to your repository, is simple, use stakes or shore up dirt." Brynhild says, turning up her nose.
"I fail to se-" Ming starts.
"What's the best way to keep Goblins out of fields? Surely a sage such as yourself must know that one."
"A proper application of magic would be more than enough for a barrier ward around the fa-"
"Your average farmgirl like m-, your average farmer would have no funds for such an endeavor, instead, a simple application of bribing them with a percentage of the crops, assuming it is something they are willing to eat. Will not only suffice, but they will voluntarily work to keep predators away from the livestock. Tell me, do you know anything practical?"
"More than you ever will." Ming replies. "What use is any of that here?"
Brynhild blinks slowly, then makes a show of looking around the library. She does so for a good long while in fact, tilting her body this way and that, turning in circles, even lifting a hand to shade her eyes.
"What, are you looking for?" Ming asks, annoyed.
"My apologies," Brynhild says, straightening herself up again. "Since we were only talking about local relevancies, I was making sure an evil infant had not spontaneously come into existence."
"You've lost, leave." Ming says.
"Did I?" Brynild asks. "That's fascinating, as I don't believe you answered a single one of my own questions correctly. Perhaps your ability to properly judicate was lost in favor of you growing those massive udders?"
"I will not be lectured upon the merits of practical knowledge by a farmgirl."
"Better ah farmgirl than ah miscreant causin' a mess in a perfectly good library!" Brynhild shouts. "Now get yer fat cow ass out of 'ere before they throw ya out. Can't ya see that's all Baeran wants!?"
The room goes deathly silent, at least, until Ignis sits herself up. "We starting a fight?"
"No," you say. "We are not."
That was what you wished for, in any case. But what you wished for and what came to pass were frequently at odds with each other, much like the forces of good and evil. Brynhild looks towards you, ready to say something, but whatever it is was cut off as a wretched, cloying, wrongness filled the air. A feeling not unlike being violently ill suddenly passing through you, as the room suddenly became dramatically colder. Your breath misted, and a fine sheen of frost covered every book around as a churning, purple portal appeared at the end of one of the library rows.
The scent of rotten eggs hit your nose a moment later. Evil. Evil was here. Evil had teleported into a place where teleportation should be impossible. Then a creature of the hells emerged, but not like any you had ever seen. It was a dog, gargantuan in size, easily the size of a horse with razor sharp claws and a barbed whipped tail. It was in all appearances a three headed, skinned dog, with scarred and blood splattered skulls visible on each one, yellow eyes glinting in their sockets as they looked around the room.
Then they looked towards the group, and growled.
"Brynhild, Ming, Ignis, leave. Fuyao, make sure they do so safely, if there are more outside, bar the doors. I will deal with this creature."
"Bullshit, you ain't getting me away from this fight."
"That was not a request." You say, not looking away from the creature to look at Ignis.
"And I don't take orders from you, husband."
—
[] [You can force the issue rather simply with a spell] (Command)
[] [Ask her nicely to leave] (Lay on the Charm)
[] [She can do as she wishes]
---
Yep, passed the final.
- Location
- florida
Pathfinder?
Wonder if monstergirls count as evil or not.
They seem equivalent to demons in their own world.
DB_Explorer
Purveyor of alternate realities.
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Pronouns
- He/Him
hahah fake accent to make a facade
oooh Bicorn got some practical skills it seems!
... Is no one using their actual accent?!?!
.... ....... nvm this is amazing.
I never knew I needed farmgirl Bicorn in my life until now...
this worked out better then I expected
[X] [She can do as she wishes]
we can get the xp bonus for having a sprout in the party!
- Location
- Texas
Hoo boy, that was a whole emotional bell curve Brynhild went through in this chapter. Pride and joy to flustered confusion to irritation, to seething rage, to reveling schadenfreude to frustrated exhaustion. I think she needs a nap.
[X] [Ask her nicely to leave] (Lay on the Charm)
It will almost certainly reduce her to an adorable, blushing, stuttering mess, AND work to get her out of the room!
It's always good when you have both Wastonian and Doylist motivations for things!
[X] [Ask her nicely to leave] (Lay on the Charm)
It will almost certainly reduce her to an adorable, blushing, stuttering mess, AND work to get her out of the room!
It's always good when you have both Wastonian and Doylist motivations for things!
DB_Explorer
Purveyor of alternate realities.
- Location
- San Diego, California
- Pronouns
- He/Him
she needs headpats, a good brushing and some booze
- Location
- USA
[x] [Ask her nicely to leave] (Lay on the Charm)
Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Dragontrapper
Homeless Draconis
- Location
- A Tower in the middle of nowhere
Oh, I'm sure the girls would LOVE to take a vacation. With you. Preferably to a beach.
Lecture Mode Activated.
For some reason I'm imagining her having a Scottish accent. No idea why.
Oh, I like her even more now. Snarky Bicorn Best Bicorn.
Ignis: <disappointed salamander noises>
Ignis: <excited salamander noises>
Ignis: <more disappointed salamander noises>
Woot~
[X] [Ask her nicely to leave] (Lay on the Charm)
Because he cares too much to just go 'fine, whatever' and is too nice to immediately jump to ordering her around.
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
That feels... oddly relevant to current events? Wasn't there something about the Spelljammers earlier? Could that be related?
As was noted, this is a fascinating discussion in a world that has magic that can determine good and evil. However, the way its presented does leave out some of the some of the nuances of said system, lawful chaotic neutrals ect, ect.
As an examination of character, this whole debate was fascinating. Ming proved herself to be knowledgeable indeed, but nothing she knows is actually applicable to how she's living. She's certainly never had to make a choice over the life or death of an infant based on alignment, and her definition of good definitely wouldn't fly on any D&D system I know of. She lacks a great deal of practical knowledge as well. In a way, she feels exactly like the kind of scholar you'd expect to find in Candlekeep, at least from what I know about it.
Brynhild meanwhile was putting on a front that absolutely no one who talked with her for more then five minutes would buy. She's clearly put a lot of effort into disguising her background, but she's not so desperate to hide it that she'd continue if victory is on tbe line. And she is indeed knowledgeable in practical ways a farmer or farmhand should be, and seems to be genuinely intelligent. She just hasn't had many opportunities to learn more niche information. And that sass, oh that was so good. She's definitely got the makings of an Adventurer in her.
And then there's this thing.
Fantastic, love it. Can't wait for more. This doesn't look like a usual D&D monster to me, and that it was just dumped into Candlekeep against all its wards means something SUPER fucky is going on.
Also this fucker cut the debate short, and for that it must die. Hopefully it can die, this looks like one of those things that might not be able to die.
Now, a question for the vote. Because I'd actually like to have Ignis help fight, to get a better idea of her and this thing's combat skill, and have her get a feel for what she's in for hanging around with us. But I'd rather give her some guidance, have her stick to dealing hits at opportune moments while we sword and board. Can I write in something like that?
Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Certainly! And glad you enjoyed the back and forth.
[X] [She can do as she wishes
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
Thanks! And yes, this is very good character stuff, I'm enjoying getting to know everyone.
[X] [She can stay, but she must follow Baeran's lead. Stick to attacking when it's distracted or support Fuyao, let Baeran draw it's attention.]
- Location
- florida
I mean is it Mings personal definition of good?
Some large council of cupids or what have you making that kind of sweeping decision for... what everyone?
I can't imagine any monster girl accepting that.
He'll most humans wouldn't. Even coming from their own gods. (Look at how much we argue good now a days...)
[X] [She can do as she wishes]
Let us not turn down help freely offered.
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I like this slight alteration of option 3, though I don't think Fuyao is going to be in the fight, just escorting the ladies out.
Nottheunmaker
Altman be praised
- Location
- USG Ishimura
Lemme check.
[X] [She can stay, but she must follow Baeran's lead. Stick to attacking when it's distracted, let Baeran draw it's attention.]
You right. Edited out Fuyao
[X] [She can stay, but she must follow Baeran's lead. Stick to attacking when it's distracted, let Baeran draw it's attention.]
One can make the argument that the question was "what did they conclude?", not whether or not that conclusion is right.
I'm of the position that evil is a spectrum. The innkeeper that cheats his customers, screams at his kids for every minor issue, and gaslights his wife about the affair he's having is evil (barring mitigating circumstances like untreated trauma or outside influences) but not "smite without mercy" evil.
Wait, we can't order her without magic? Like "Escort the locals to safety. NOW!!!" I figured she'd like that sort of authoritative attitude.
If she joins the fight, can we at least tell her to hold back until excess collateral damage becomes an acceptable risk?
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Erien
God's Weakest Soldier
- Location
- Georgia
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Not really Baeran's style sadly.