- Location
- Norfolk, Va
Honorguard Ra
(Verified Lizard Dude)
Thank you very much for the title drop/link! Yes, that's the one I was talking about.
M. H. Fuzzball
Aperture Science-certified Horrible Person
- Location
- Sector 2814
I was going to mention Queen of the Swarm, but I was Strangered to a fare-thee-well while wading through TVTropes looking for it. (How does it not count as a crossover?)
Honorguard Ra
(Verified Lizard Dude)
Checked the dates cause I was curious. You're right, the story started in 2015, the game entered alpha in 2018. Amazing coincidence I guess.
Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
- Location
- Australia
Snek is a Good Boy
Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
The Next Morning
Lady Photon
"Hey!" Crystal protested. "No flying ahead! I thought you didn't even want to go!"
"I never said I didn't want to go." Eric rolled his eyes as he slowed down a little. "I just thought everyone else was jumping on the bandwagon way too fast, so you needed an adult in the room."
"Did you find one?" Crystal jibed. "Because I know you're not talking about yourself."
"Well, I sure wasn't talking about you!"
"Now, now," Sarah interceded. "No fighting, kids, or I will turn this family around."
"Listen to your mom." Neil was reclining on a force-field sofa next to Sarah inside her travelling bubble. "We'll be representing New Wave. Vicky and Amy have already given them a good impression. We don't want to turn that sour."
Like the rest of them, he was in casual clothing instead of his costume, wearing what Sarah privately called 'lumberjack chic'; rugged boots, jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, all tailored to fit his seven-foot frame. Sarah hadn't worn skirts since New Wave had unmasked, but she was equally comfortable in slacks and a matching blouse. The kids were wearing jeans and T-shirts, though Crystal was also wearing a denim jacket.
"Yes, Dad. Sorry." Eric dropped back to fly alongside the bubble. A moment later, Crystal echoed his words and moved to fly on the other side.
"Hey, it's not me you've got to say sorry to," he reminded them.
"Sorry, Mom."
"Sorry, Mom."
"That's okay." Sarah gave them both a medium Mom Look to make sure they knew they weren't totally off the hook. "But your dad is right. We all need to be on our best behaviour today. I, for one, don't want to be banned from Snek's world because someone offended his Master. Okay?"
"And that wins the prize for 'sentences I never thought I would hear spoken out loud'," Neil murmured with a smirk.
"Oh, shush, you." But Sarah's mock-severe tone was spoiled by her own grin. "It's a different world to what it was six months ago."
"It's amazing what changes one giant talking snake can bring about," he agreed. "Especially one who's not shy about eating the bad guys. Or the Endbringers."
"I'll say." She chuckled out loud. "Has anyone heard anything about Behemoth since Leviathan? Or even since the day before yesterday?" Since Snek ate the Simurgh like a cat chowing down on a particularly irritating canary, she didn't have to add.
"Not that I know of." His chuckle echoed hers. "And from the way Snek's already said he likes spicy food, there's probably a good reason for that. I'd be keeping my head down, too."
She was still laughing as they swooped down toward the Dallon house.
Glory Girl
It turned out that Twilight liked toast almost as much as she enjoyed bacon. The cute little dragonet flew lazy circles around the kitchen while crunching on the freshly buttered treat; Vicky grinned as she made more.
"Are you trying to bribe my hearth-dragon with toast?" Amy asked as she sat at the breakfast table, eating her bacon and eggs. Her own plate of toast sat beside her.
Both of them were trying to avoid listening to the argument filtering down from upstairs, with moderate success.
"Nope, just advertising." Vicky swiped butter across another slice of toast. "If Twilight goes back to the others and tells 'em about how good we treat her, maybe more of them will be interested in bonding with us."
Amy snorted with amusement and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"You don't know that." Vicky tried to pretend she was being serious and failed badly, letting out a giggle. "Or maybe I just love spoiling her."
"Well, that's a given. Everyone loves spoiling hearth-dragons, and they love it too, don't you?" Amy picked up a smallish strip of bacon from her plate and waved it temptingly, and Twilight predictably altered her flight path to land on the table. With a chirp of thanks (Vicky was picking up on the shades of meaning in her vocalisations) she accepted it and rubbed the side of her head against Amy's hand.
"Heh, yeah." Vicky tilted her head slightly. "Have you noticed how she doesn't just steal food? She waits for it to be offered first."
"They're smart like that," Amy confirmed. "They know that if they just take it, the free food will go away. But I'm pretty sure they eat mice and rats too, and they don't have to worry about asking first with them."
"So hearth-dragons are smart, cute and helpful around the home." Vicky nodded thoughtfully. "I can see how they got the name." She raised her head at a knock on the door. "Whoops, it sounds like the others are here."
"I'll get it." Amy stood up from the table and headed for the door. When she was halfway there, Twilight landed on her shoulder, still eating the bacon. Vicky smirked; those two were just so adorable together.
Predictably, it was indeed the Pelhams on the other side of the door. Although Vicky couldn't see from where she was, she heard Crystal cooing once more over Twilight, and the hearth-dragon chirping a happy greeting. They all filed inside, Crystal now holding Twilight, which also didn't surprise Vicky. Even when bonded, hearth-dragons were gregarious as hell.
"Good morning," Aunt Sarah announced when she got to the dining room. She eyed the table, which still held breakfast, and raised an eyebrow. "Off to a late start?"
Vicky sighed and lowered her voice. "Mom and Dad are arguing over something. Ames and me just came down and got our own breakfasts in the end."
"I see." Sarah took a deep breath and raised her voice. "Carol! Mark! We're here!"
By the time Carol and Mark came downstairs, Twilight was perched on Uncle Neil's shoulder, apparently enjoying the view from that altitude, while Amy was finishing her breakfast. It was immediately obvious what the argument had been about: Mark was casually dressed in trousers and a button-down shirt, but Carol was in her New Wave costume. Vicky met Amy's eyes, and they both shook their heads at the same time. Not getting involved in this.
Instead, Vicky carried her toast over to the table and sat down before offering another piece to Twilight, which was promptly accepted. The little dragon certainly loved her toast.
"Carol," Sarah began carefully. "You appear to be in costume. Are you not coming with us?"
"Yes, I'm coming." Carol's words were curt. "Someone needs to represent the team."
Sarah frowned. "You are aware, nobody in that world even knows New Wave exists, right?"
Amy raised a cautious finger. "The Master of the Castle does, and so does Riley. Nobody else, though."
"And I doubt very much that even they really care, correct?" Uncle Neil waited for Amy's nod. "Yeah, thought so. It'd be like if we threw a party for the neighbourhood kids and a bunch of them were worried about wearing their Protectorate Pals Fan Club decoder rings. We wouldn't even notice."
"Still," Carol insisted stiffly, "it's the principle of the thing. We're going to be representing Earth Bet's superheroes on a whole new world, and we need to make the best possible impression. Show them that we're dedicated to the task of keeping people safe."
"Vicky already showed them that, when she helped Snek with Mouse Protector and the Simurgh," Sarah countered. "We should be visiting as friendly neighbours, not as superheroes trying to show them that we're more heroic than they are. Besides, from what Vicky and Amy have said, the world outside the Master's castle is more medieval fantasy than modern day. They probably don't even have the concept of a costumed superhero in their culture."
"Should we be going then?" Carol frowned. "If we show off unusual abilities …"
Vicky had had enough. "Mom, seriously? If we do that, then what? They'll try to burn us as witches? Worship us as gods? They know about magic! Dragons are a thing! Hearth-dragons like Twilight are seen as good luck! Riley basically said that Ames could make a good living there as a healer, if she wanted to! We told you all this already!"
"Have you seen this for yourself, or are you relying on hearsay?" Carol shook her head. "I'm not saying this Riley is lying or deliberately misleading you, but you can't always believe everything you hear, and not everyone has your best interests at heart."
"Which is why we're all going," Sarah interjected. "I doubt it's a paradise by any stretch of the imagination, but they've never claimed it is. Plus, I always wanted to visit Narnia when I was a kid."
"And I'd be astonished if they had anything like Endbringers, or even the White Witch," Neil added. "Considering how Snek likes to eat monsters alive."
"Fine," huffed Carol. "But I'm still wearing the costume."
Sarah put her hands up. "You know what? I don't care. Were you going to eat anything before we got Snek's attention?"
"I could eat," admitted Mark.
"Bacon and eggs on the stove, and I made toast," Vicky said helpfully. "Then let's get this show on the road."
"Heck yeah!" enthused Crystal. "Let's do this thing!"
A Little Later, On a Rooftop
Panacea
"So, how do we do this again?" asked Crystal. "It's not like we can call Snek on the cell-phone he doesn't own … or does he?"
"He doesn't need one," Vicky said, with all the confidence of someone who'd done something exactly once, but gotten it right on that one occasion. "All we have to do is ask him to help us get there."
"What, like some sort of prayer?" Carol was looking dubious again.
"Hah, no." Vicky cleared her throat and raised her voice slightly. "Hey, Snek. It's me, Gold Princess Girl. You picked me and Frizzy Hair Girl up yesterday, and we went and flew with dragons. Can you ask your Master if it's okay for me and my family to visit?"
Amy had to hand it to Vicky; she'd gotten through the whole thing with a straight face, despite Eric suffering a sudden coughing fit, and Aunt Sarah trading raised-eyebrow looks with Uncle Neil. Crystal patted Eric on the back, her own expression that of amused disbelief, and Mark looked like he was hiding a smile. Carol just seemed to be waiting for someone to explain the joke to her.
The familiar portal, about six feet in diameter, appeared before them, with a stone floor and walls beyond. Then Snek slithered into view, putting his head and about ten feet of body through the portal. His scales were scorched and marked, and the hat was missing a tiny piece out of its brim, but he seemed to be his usual cheerful self. "Hello, gold princcesss girl, frizzy hair girl, hearth-dragon Twilight!" As he spoke, he raised his head about six feet off the ground and eyed the rest of the group first with one gold-fringed eye then with the other. "Ssnek iss Ssnek."
"Hi, Snek!" Crystal stepped forward and gave him a hug, which he seemed to enjoy. "It's really good to meet you at last. I'm Crystal, and that's my little brother Eric, and my mom and dad Sarah and Neil, and that's my uncle Mark, and my aunt Carol."
Snek's smile widened. "Ssnek likess meeting new friendss. Hello, Crysstal and blue hair boy. Hello, happy blonde lady and angry blonde lady. Hello, tall Neil and sshort Mark. Iss good to meet you all. Masster hass ssaid you can vissit."
Amy put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't giggle too loudly. Perched on her shoulder, Twilight let out a tiny rarr of amusement. She had to admit, Snek was right on target with his chosen nicknames, especially 'angry blonde lady'.
"Well, okay, then." Vicky sounded like she wanted to laugh too, but she was managing to hold it in through sheer willpower. "It's good to see you too, Snek." Reaching up, she booped him on the nose.
His smile, wide enough as it was, got bigger before he wriggled backward through the portal, leaving it clear for use. Vicky ducked through first, followed by Crystal. Amy went next, Twilight in her arms.
When they were all through (Neil having to duck his head, and Carol stepping through last) the portal vanished, leaving them standing in a familiar-looking corridor. "Thiss way," Snek advised, turning and wriggling back the way he had come.
"Uh, Snek," Amy ventured. "What happened to you? You look like you've been through a real fight." He hadn't shown this much battle damage even after the Leviathan takedown.
"Ssnek hass been fighting Faccelesss Minionss from the Outer Darknesss," Snek explained. "They attacked the Casstle."
"Faceless Minions?" Eric didn't sound thrilled, and Amy didn't blame him. The name sounded kinda ominous. "What are they?"
Snek briefly turned his head, and Amy saw him licking his non-existent lips. "Delicciouss."
Eric's eyes widened. "Kinda sorry I asked, now," he muttered.
Vicky grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers. "That's Snek, right there. Cuddly, playful, fun, and will totally eat the bad guy whole."
When Snek reached the end of the corridor, he bumped the door there three times with his nose. Amy was pretty sure he was counting under his breath.
"Enter, Snek." The voice of the Master of the Castle was audible to them all. "And please bring your guests."
"Wait, he knows we're here?" asked Crystal in a low tone.
"Assume he knows everything about everything," Vicky advised her. "And seriously, nobody do anything stupid. This guy is the realest deal you're ever gonna meet." The door opened and Snek slithered in; Amy and Vicky followed on, with the others close behind them.
Amy looked around, the Master's laboratory still as awe-inspiring as it had been yesterday. Though there were a few minor differences; she saw four more monster cores on the shelf, and tables were set up with odd things on them. The first was a creature, bipedal but decidedly nonhuman, that was in the process of being autopsied or dissected, she couldn't tell which. And the second was a huge tentacle, easily thirty feet long, laid out over several tables.
Turning away from the tentacle, with brass-bound goggles over her eyes and heavy gloves on her hands, was Riley. The Master of the Castle stood next to her, his staff standing unsupported next to him.
Riley smiled broadly and put down what looked like a brass probe. "Hey!" she said happily. "You're back! And you brought the rest of your team, cool!"
"Greetings, New Wave," the Master said politely. "You are welcome in my Castle. Amelia, Victoria, welcome back. It seems that Twilight made a wise choice."
"Uh, thank you." Amy hugged the hearth-dragon a little more tightly, then let her wriggle free and take flight. "We don't want to get in your way or anything here."
"You will not." It was a firm pronouncement. "I understand that you would like to introduce your family to the Dragonmark. They are out for their morning flight at the moment, but they will be back in a little over an hour. If you wish to visit the village below in the meantime, I can provide appropriate clothing."
"What's wrong with what we're wearing right now?" asked Carol, though her challenging tone wilted somewhat under the Master's steady gaze.
"Nothing whatsoever." Amy could have sworn she saw a twinkle in his eye. "However, I believe you would prefer to blend in. Such a costume is usually worn by street performers and acrobats, and would draw attention from people expecting a show." He nodded toward Neil and the others. "Your attire will not be seen as entirely unusual, merely that of travellers from a distant land."
Twilight had by this time flown up and joined the other hearth-dragons in the upper part of the room, and they were exchanging excited squawks and chirps. Amy could feel the little dragon's happiness at seeing her kin again, though she also seemed to be smug about having such an interesting human partner.
Crystal was also looking up, her lips slightly parted. "Whoooaaa …" Even Eric seemed spellbound.
"Yeah, I know, right?" Vicky murmured. "And it gets better. In here, they're on their best behaviour. Outside is where they really get playful."
Aunt Sarah cleared her throat. "Carol, I think we'll take the Master of the Castle up on his generous offer." She paused. "Uh, sir, will we be expected to wear big floofy dresses … I mean …"
"Not unless that is your desire." The Master of the Castle gave Riley a measured nod. "Kindly show each of our guests to a dressing chamber, if you will."
"Sure thing, boss." Riley paused and held up her heavy gloves, which Amy saw were stained with odd fluids, possibly from the tentacle she'd been examining. She muttered something under her breath and a rainbow swirl of light ran over the gloves, sparkling here and there as the stains burned away. Then she tugged the gloves off one at a time and pushed her goggles up. "Okay, let's go do this."
Twilight swooped down out of the flock and landed on Amy's outstretched arm as they headed for the doors. Taking the lead, Vicky moved up alongside Riley. "So, uh, what did you just do then? I thought you couldn't cast magic?"
"Oh, the gloves are enchanted," Riley said casually. "I just gave the command phrase for them to clean themselves. You don't want to get that stuff on your bare skin. In fact, you don't want to be too close to one of those things without the proper mystical protections in place." Reaching up, she tapped the goggles.
"Why not?" asked Sarah. "What was that tentacle off, a giant squid or something? And what was the other thing? A Case Fifty-Three?"
"Haha, nope." Riley reached up as she opened the door, and slapped the door-frame. "Hit the frame here when you come through." She stepped through the doorway … and vanished.
"Um." Vicky glanced at Amy, then slapped the doorframe and stepped through. Just as Riley had, she disappeared.
"What … what's going on here?" demanded Carol. "Where did she go?"
Amy took a deep breath, and Twilight chirped encouragingly. She slapped the same spot on the doorframe as Vicky had, and stepped through the doorway … into a long corridor that hadn't been there a second ago. There was no sensation of movement, no disorientation. Just a feeling that she'd blinked and missed something. Vicky and Riley were standing just a few steps away, Vicky looking at her expectantly.
"Huh," she said, moving forward to get out of the way, then looking back at the perfectly normal doorway that she'd just stepped out of. "That's a really good trick."
"Saves time getting around, for sure," agreed Riley.
Sarah stepped out of the doorway. There was no flickering, no blurring; one instant she wasn't there, the next she was. She blinked and looked around. "That's the smoothest teleport I've ever been through."
Amy had never been teleported before, except via Snek's portals, but she had to agree; it was very smooth.
Carol appeared next, a glowing blade in her hand. When she saw them waiting patiently for her, some of the tension left her shoulders. "Oh," she said.
"Mom, seriously?" Vicky shook her head. "This is the Master's Castle. It's basically the safest place around. Nobody's going to attack us here."
"You don't know that." But the blade shrank and then vanished altogether.
One by one, the others came through, looking around with wonder. Neil shook his head. "How many sets of stairs did we just skip?"
"A few." Riley smirked. "So, as I was saying, that was the very end-tip of a tentacle from a Tyrant of the Outer Darkness. They try to push into ordinary three-dimensional spacetime occasionally, but the boss has set things up so the easiest place to come through is right above the Castle. This time he got a sample, which means the next time they won't even get this close. But physics is so different in the Outer Darkness that you can literally go insane if you look too closely or actually touch them without protection."
That statement left an extremely thoughtful silence in its wake, until Vicky decided it would probably be a good idea to change the subject. Anything would be better than dwelling on the fact that they were sharing a castle with the remains of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.
"Is it just me," she ventured, "or did the windows look different? And the stuffed dragon …?"
"Oh, all that came down when the tentacle punched in through the roof," Riley confirmed. "But the boss fixed it after he killed the Tyrants. They were fifty years planning this incursion, and he just took out the ringleaders. It'll be a lot longer before they come back again."
"I counted four extra cores," Amy said cautiously. "Was that how many there were?"
"Five, actually." Riley shrugged. "But one was a duplicate, so he gave it to Snek to eat." She looked around at the team, then gestured along the corridor. "Okay, everyone's here. Pick a room. Clothes will be in the wardrobe. Come on out when you're done."
Aunt Sarah opened the closest door and went inside. One by one, Amy's teammates selected a room, but she lingered for a moment. "The thing on the table. What was that?"
"The Faceless Minion?" Riley waited for Amy's tentative nod. "Yeah, the Tyrants generate those by the thousand. Snek had a good time nomming down on them, but the boss wanted a sample from them as well, so he had Snek let one get past. They've got an organ that kind of acts like their brain and heart and liver all at once, so I performed some non-elective field surgery on it. Now we're taking the rest of it apart to see how it works. The boss is all over the magic stuff, but I can provide insights into anatomy and biology that he finds useful." She grinned at Amy. "So yeah, that's my life now. It's hella fun."
Amy's head was spinning with the ramifications of what Riley was saying, but she couldn't even begin to start delving into the details. "It, uh, certainly sounds interesting. But where did you learn to do surgery? You can't be more than twelve or thirteen."
Riley raised a finger. "That's a 'later' question. Right now, I'd say you need to go get dressed if you don't want to be holding everyone else up."
As full of questions as she might be, Amy could take a hint. "Okay, thanks."
Glory Girl
"Okay, I give up." Crystal, wearing a Robin-Hood-esque outfit in green and gold, shook her head as she stared at her father. "Where did you find that?"
Uncle Neil shrugged as he looked down at the fur-trimmed vest and trousers with the heavy boots. The short-handled double-bladed axe slung across his back merely served to complete the image. "They were in the wardrobe? I'm just impressed they had anything in my size."
Vicky, in leather armour with a buckler (she'd considered the chainmail bikini but decided in the end not to give her mother an aneurysm), shook her head and grinned. "You look like you're getting ready to make Conan look like a wimp."
Sarah, who had picked a set of hard-wearing leathers with goggles similar to the ones Riley had been wearing, gave her husband an approving up-and-down. "He certainly does, doesn't he?"
"Mom!" Crystal protested. "Ew!"
"Dad should wear that going up against the bad guys," Eric quipped, straightening the chainmail vest he was wearing. "They'd surrender straight away."
"And would that be such a bad thing?" Steering away from the flashier clothing Vicky had seen in her own wardrobe, Amy had chosen a set of robes that were not dissimilar to her Panacea costume. However, these were in Twilight's colours and came with a vicious-looking dagger on the belt.
"I can't see it being a problem." Mark stepped out of his room, looking downright dashing in something a nobleman might wear, complete with rapier at his waist. "I think we could all do with the bad guys just giving up without a fight."
"Wow, Dad," Vicky said, raising an eyebrow. "Way to rock the Middle Ages."
"Wait," Amy said, looking around. "Where's Carol?"
The last door opened, and Vicky's mother emerged. To Vicky's quiet amusement, she'd managed to colour-match with Mark almost perfectly, while still choosing a practical dress rather than a 'floofy' gown as described by Aunt Sarah. "Nobody laugh," she muttered. "I'm only doing this because you talked me into it."
"Why would we laugh, Aunt Carol?" Crystal gestured at the group now assembled in the corridor. "Look at us. We rock!"
"Heck yeah, you do." Riley emerged from the same doorway they'd teleported in by. "Nice choices. They look good on you."
"I know I'm probably going to regret asking this," Neil said. "But how the hell do those wardrobes work? I just kept on swiping left, and it kept on bringing out new outfits, all in my size. Do you regularly have seven-foot guys staying here?"
Riley grinned. "You might be surprised. But no, those wardrobes are set up to generate clothing according to the needs and tastes of the people staying in those rooms, based around a range of templates. Compared to what else goes on around here, it's a very minor enchantment." She dusted her hands off. "So, who's ready to come see the village?"
Vicky would always be unsure who spoke first as she and Crystal stepped forward.
"Me!"
End of Part Twenty-Five
Part Twenty-Five: Through the Looking Glass
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
The Next Morning
Lady Photon
"Hey!" Crystal protested. "No flying ahead! I thought you didn't even want to go!"
"I never said I didn't want to go." Eric rolled his eyes as he slowed down a little. "I just thought everyone else was jumping on the bandwagon way too fast, so you needed an adult in the room."
"Did you find one?" Crystal jibed. "Because I know you're not talking about yourself."
"Well, I sure wasn't talking about you!"
"Now, now," Sarah interceded. "No fighting, kids, or I will turn this family around."
"Listen to your mom." Neil was reclining on a force-field sofa next to Sarah inside her travelling bubble. "We'll be representing New Wave. Vicky and Amy have already given them a good impression. We don't want to turn that sour."
Like the rest of them, he was in casual clothing instead of his costume, wearing what Sarah privately called 'lumberjack chic'; rugged boots, jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, all tailored to fit his seven-foot frame. Sarah hadn't worn skirts since New Wave had unmasked, but she was equally comfortable in slacks and a matching blouse. The kids were wearing jeans and T-shirts, though Crystal was also wearing a denim jacket.
"Yes, Dad. Sorry." Eric dropped back to fly alongside the bubble. A moment later, Crystal echoed his words and moved to fly on the other side.
"Hey, it's not me you've got to say sorry to," he reminded them.
"Sorry, Mom."
"Sorry, Mom."
"That's okay." Sarah gave them both a medium Mom Look to make sure they knew they weren't totally off the hook. "But your dad is right. We all need to be on our best behaviour today. I, for one, don't want to be banned from Snek's world because someone offended his Master. Okay?"
"And that wins the prize for 'sentences I never thought I would hear spoken out loud'," Neil murmured with a smirk.
"Oh, shush, you." But Sarah's mock-severe tone was spoiled by her own grin. "It's a different world to what it was six months ago."
"It's amazing what changes one giant talking snake can bring about," he agreed. "Especially one who's not shy about eating the bad guys. Or the Endbringers."
"I'll say." She chuckled out loud. "Has anyone heard anything about Behemoth since Leviathan? Or even since the day before yesterday?" Since Snek ate the Simurgh like a cat chowing down on a particularly irritating canary, she didn't have to add.
"Not that I know of." His chuckle echoed hers. "And from the way Snek's already said he likes spicy food, there's probably a good reason for that. I'd be keeping my head down, too."
She was still laughing as they swooped down toward the Dallon house.
<><>
Glory Girl
It turned out that Twilight liked toast almost as much as she enjoyed bacon. The cute little dragonet flew lazy circles around the kitchen while crunching on the freshly buttered treat; Vicky grinned as she made more.
"Are you trying to bribe my hearth-dragon with toast?" Amy asked as she sat at the breakfast table, eating her bacon and eggs. Her own plate of toast sat beside her.
Both of them were trying to avoid listening to the argument filtering down from upstairs, with moderate success.
"Nope, just advertising." Vicky swiped butter across another slice of toast. "If Twilight goes back to the others and tells 'em about how good we treat her, maybe more of them will be interested in bonding with us."
Amy snorted with amusement and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way."
"You don't know that." Vicky tried to pretend she was being serious and failed badly, letting out a giggle. "Or maybe I just love spoiling her."
"Well, that's a given. Everyone loves spoiling hearth-dragons, and they love it too, don't you?" Amy picked up a smallish strip of bacon from her plate and waved it temptingly, and Twilight predictably altered her flight path to land on the table. With a chirp of thanks (Vicky was picking up on the shades of meaning in her vocalisations) she accepted it and rubbed the side of her head against Amy's hand.
"Heh, yeah." Vicky tilted her head slightly. "Have you noticed how she doesn't just steal food? She waits for it to be offered first."
"They're smart like that," Amy confirmed. "They know that if they just take it, the free food will go away. But I'm pretty sure they eat mice and rats too, and they don't have to worry about asking first with them."
"So hearth-dragons are smart, cute and helpful around the home." Vicky nodded thoughtfully. "I can see how they got the name." She raised her head at a knock on the door. "Whoops, it sounds like the others are here."
"I'll get it." Amy stood up from the table and headed for the door. When she was halfway there, Twilight landed on her shoulder, still eating the bacon. Vicky smirked; those two were just so adorable together.
Predictably, it was indeed the Pelhams on the other side of the door. Although Vicky couldn't see from where she was, she heard Crystal cooing once more over Twilight, and the hearth-dragon chirping a happy greeting. They all filed inside, Crystal now holding Twilight, which also didn't surprise Vicky. Even when bonded, hearth-dragons were gregarious as hell.
"Good morning," Aunt Sarah announced when she got to the dining room. She eyed the table, which still held breakfast, and raised an eyebrow. "Off to a late start?"
Vicky sighed and lowered her voice. "Mom and Dad are arguing over something. Ames and me just came down and got our own breakfasts in the end."
"I see." Sarah took a deep breath and raised her voice. "Carol! Mark! We're here!"
By the time Carol and Mark came downstairs, Twilight was perched on Uncle Neil's shoulder, apparently enjoying the view from that altitude, while Amy was finishing her breakfast. It was immediately obvious what the argument had been about: Mark was casually dressed in trousers and a button-down shirt, but Carol was in her New Wave costume. Vicky met Amy's eyes, and they both shook their heads at the same time. Not getting involved in this.
Instead, Vicky carried her toast over to the table and sat down before offering another piece to Twilight, which was promptly accepted. The little dragon certainly loved her toast.
"Carol," Sarah began carefully. "You appear to be in costume. Are you not coming with us?"
"Yes, I'm coming." Carol's words were curt. "Someone needs to represent the team."
Sarah frowned. "You are aware, nobody in that world even knows New Wave exists, right?"
Amy raised a cautious finger. "The Master of the Castle does, and so does Riley. Nobody else, though."
"And I doubt very much that even they really care, correct?" Uncle Neil waited for Amy's nod. "Yeah, thought so. It'd be like if we threw a party for the neighbourhood kids and a bunch of them were worried about wearing their Protectorate Pals Fan Club decoder rings. We wouldn't even notice."
"Still," Carol insisted stiffly, "it's the principle of the thing. We're going to be representing Earth Bet's superheroes on a whole new world, and we need to make the best possible impression. Show them that we're dedicated to the task of keeping people safe."
"Vicky already showed them that, when she helped Snek with Mouse Protector and the Simurgh," Sarah countered. "We should be visiting as friendly neighbours, not as superheroes trying to show them that we're more heroic than they are. Besides, from what Vicky and Amy have said, the world outside the Master's castle is more medieval fantasy than modern day. They probably don't even have the concept of a costumed superhero in their culture."
"Should we be going then?" Carol frowned. "If we show off unusual abilities …"
Vicky had had enough. "Mom, seriously? If we do that, then what? They'll try to burn us as witches? Worship us as gods? They know about magic! Dragons are a thing! Hearth-dragons like Twilight are seen as good luck! Riley basically said that Ames could make a good living there as a healer, if she wanted to! We told you all this already!"
"Have you seen this for yourself, or are you relying on hearsay?" Carol shook her head. "I'm not saying this Riley is lying or deliberately misleading you, but you can't always believe everything you hear, and not everyone has your best interests at heart."
"Which is why we're all going," Sarah interjected. "I doubt it's a paradise by any stretch of the imagination, but they've never claimed it is. Plus, I always wanted to visit Narnia when I was a kid."
"And I'd be astonished if they had anything like Endbringers, or even the White Witch," Neil added. "Considering how Snek likes to eat monsters alive."
"Fine," huffed Carol. "But I'm still wearing the costume."
Sarah put her hands up. "You know what? I don't care. Were you going to eat anything before we got Snek's attention?"
"I could eat," admitted Mark.
"Bacon and eggs on the stove, and I made toast," Vicky said helpfully. "Then let's get this show on the road."
"Heck yeah!" enthused Crystal. "Let's do this thing!"
<><>
A Little Later, On a Rooftop
Panacea
"So, how do we do this again?" asked Crystal. "It's not like we can call Snek on the cell-phone he doesn't own … or does he?"
"He doesn't need one," Vicky said, with all the confidence of someone who'd done something exactly once, but gotten it right on that one occasion. "All we have to do is ask him to help us get there."
"What, like some sort of prayer?" Carol was looking dubious again.
"Hah, no." Vicky cleared her throat and raised her voice slightly. "Hey, Snek. It's me, Gold Princess Girl. You picked me and Frizzy Hair Girl up yesterday, and we went and flew with dragons. Can you ask your Master if it's okay for me and my family to visit?"
Amy had to hand it to Vicky; she'd gotten through the whole thing with a straight face, despite Eric suffering a sudden coughing fit, and Aunt Sarah trading raised-eyebrow looks with Uncle Neil. Crystal patted Eric on the back, her own expression that of amused disbelief, and Mark looked like he was hiding a smile. Carol just seemed to be waiting for someone to explain the joke to her.
The familiar portal, about six feet in diameter, appeared before them, with a stone floor and walls beyond. Then Snek slithered into view, putting his head and about ten feet of body through the portal. His scales were scorched and marked, and the hat was missing a tiny piece out of its brim, but he seemed to be his usual cheerful self. "Hello, gold princcesss girl, frizzy hair girl, hearth-dragon Twilight!" As he spoke, he raised his head about six feet off the ground and eyed the rest of the group first with one gold-fringed eye then with the other. "Ssnek iss Ssnek."
"Hi, Snek!" Crystal stepped forward and gave him a hug, which he seemed to enjoy. "It's really good to meet you at last. I'm Crystal, and that's my little brother Eric, and my mom and dad Sarah and Neil, and that's my uncle Mark, and my aunt Carol."
Snek's smile widened. "Ssnek likess meeting new friendss. Hello, Crysstal and blue hair boy. Hello, happy blonde lady and angry blonde lady. Hello, tall Neil and sshort Mark. Iss good to meet you all. Masster hass ssaid you can vissit."
Amy put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't giggle too loudly. Perched on her shoulder, Twilight let out a tiny rarr of amusement. She had to admit, Snek was right on target with his chosen nicknames, especially 'angry blonde lady'.
"Well, okay, then." Vicky sounded like she wanted to laugh too, but she was managing to hold it in through sheer willpower. "It's good to see you too, Snek." Reaching up, she booped him on the nose.
His smile, wide enough as it was, got bigger before he wriggled backward through the portal, leaving it clear for use. Vicky ducked through first, followed by Crystal. Amy went next, Twilight in her arms.
When they were all through (Neil having to duck his head, and Carol stepping through last) the portal vanished, leaving them standing in a familiar-looking corridor. "Thiss way," Snek advised, turning and wriggling back the way he had come.
"Uh, Snek," Amy ventured. "What happened to you? You look like you've been through a real fight." He hadn't shown this much battle damage even after the Leviathan takedown.
"Ssnek hass been fighting Faccelesss Minionss from the Outer Darknesss," Snek explained. "They attacked the Casstle."
"Faceless Minions?" Eric didn't sound thrilled, and Amy didn't blame him. The name sounded kinda ominous. "What are they?"
Snek briefly turned his head, and Amy saw him licking his non-existent lips. "Delicciouss."
Eric's eyes widened. "Kinda sorry I asked, now," he muttered.
Vicky grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers. "That's Snek, right there. Cuddly, playful, fun, and will totally eat the bad guy whole."
When Snek reached the end of the corridor, he bumped the door there three times with his nose. Amy was pretty sure he was counting under his breath.
"Enter, Snek." The voice of the Master of the Castle was audible to them all. "And please bring your guests."
"Wait, he knows we're here?" asked Crystal in a low tone.
"Assume he knows everything about everything," Vicky advised her. "And seriously, nobody do anything stupid. This guy is the realest deal you're ever gonna meet." The door opened and Snek slithered in; Amy and Vicky followed on, with the others close behind them.
Amy looked around, the Master's laboratory still as awe-inspiring as it had been yesterday. Though there were a few minor differences; she saw four more monster cores on the shelf, and tables were set up with odd things on them. The first was a creature, bipedal but decidedly nonhuman, that was in the process of being autopsied or dissected, she couldn't tell which. And the second was a huge tentacle, easily thirty feet long, laid out over several tables.
Turning away from the tentacle, with brass-bound goggles over her eyes and heavy gloves on her hands, was Riley. The Master of the Castle stood next to her, his staff standing unsupported next to him.
Riley smiled broadly and put down what looked like a brass probe. "Hey!" she said happily. "You're back! And you brought the rest of your team, cool!"
"Greetings, New Wave," the Master said politely. "You are welcome in my Castle. Amelia, Victoria, welcome back. It seems that Twilight made a wise choice."
"Uh, thank you." Amy hugged the hearth-dragon a little more tightly, then let her wriggle free and take flight. "We don't want to get in your way or anything here."
"You will not." It was a firm pronouncement. "I understand that you would like to introduce your family to the Dragonmark. They are out for their morning flight at the moment, but they will be back in a little over an hour. If you wish to visit the village below in the meantime, I can provide appropriate clothing."
"What's wrong with what we're wearing right now?" asked Carol, though her challenging tone wilted somewhat under the Master's steady gaze.
"Nothing whatsoever." Amy could have sworn she saw a twinkle in his eye. "However, I believe you would prefer to blend in. Such a costume is usually worn by street performers and acrobats, and would draw attention from people expecting a show." He nodded toward Neil and the others. "Your attire will not be seen as entirely unusual, merely that of travellers from a distant land."
Twilight had by this time flown up and joined the other hearth-dragons in the upper part of the room, and they were exchanging excited squawks and chirps. Amy could feel the little dragon's happiness at seeing her kin again, though she also seemed to be smug about having such an interesting human partner.
Crystal was also looking up, her lips slightly parted. "Whoooaaa …" Even Eric seemed spellbound.
"Yeah, I know, right?" Vicky murmured. "And it gets better. In here, they're on their best behaviour. Outside is where they really get playful."
Aunt Sarah cleared her throat. "Carol, I think we'll take the Master of the Castle up on his generous offer." She paused. "Uh, sir, will we be expected to wear big floofy dresses … I mean …"
"Not unless that is your desire." The Master of the Castle gave Riley a measured nod. "Kindly show each of our guests to a dressing chamber, if you will."
"Sure thing, boss." Riley paused and held up her heavy gloves, which Amy saw were stained with odd fluids, possibly from the tentacle she'd been examining. She muttered something under her breath and a rainbow swirl of light ran over the gloves, sparkling here and there as the stains burned away. Then she tugged the gloves off one at a time and pushed her goggles up. "Okay, let's go do this."
Twilight swooped down out of the flock and landed on Amy's outstretched arm as they headed for the doors. Taking the lead, Vicky moved up alongside Riley. "So, uh, what did you just do then? I thought you couldn't cast magic?"
"Oh, the gloves are enchanted," Riley said casually. "I just gave the command phrase for them to clean themselves. You don't want to get that stuff on your bare skin. In fact, you don't want to be too close to one of those things without the proper mystical protections in place." Reaching up, she tapped the goggles.
"Why not?" asked Sarah. "What was that tentacle off, a giant squid or something? And what was the other thing? A Case Fifty-Three?"
"Haha, nope." Riley reached up as she opened the door, and slapped the door-frame. "Hit the frame here when you come through." She stepped through the doorway … and vanished.
"Um." Vicky glanced at Amy, then slapped the doorframe and stepped through. Just as Riley had, she disappeared.
"What … what's going on here?" demanded Carol. "Where did she go?"
Amy took a deep breath, and Twilight chirped encouragingly. She slapped the same spot on the doorframe as Vicky had, and stepped through the doorway … into a long corridor that hadn't been there a second ago. There was no sensation of movement, no disorientation. Just a feeling that she'd blinked and missed something. Vicky and Riley were standing just a few steps away, Vicky looking at her expectantly.
"Huh," she said, moving forward to get out of the way, then looking back at the perfectly normal doorway that she'd just stepped out of. "That's a really good trick."
"Saves time getting around, for sure," agreed Riley.
Sarah stepped out of the doorway. There was no flickering, no blurring; one instant she wasn't there, the next she was. She blinked and looked around. "That's the smoothest teleport I've ever been through."
Amy had never been teleported before, except via Snek's portals, but she had to agree; it was very smooth.
Carol appeared next, a glowing blade in her hand. When she saw them waiting patiently for her, some of the tension left her shoulders. "Oh," she said.
"Mom, seriously?" Vicky shook her head. "This is the Master's Castle. It's basically the safest place around. Nobody's going to attack us here."
"You don't know that." But the blade shrank and then vanished altogether.
One by one, the others came through, looking around with wonder. Neil shook his head. "How many sets of stairs did we just skip?"
"A few." Riley smirked. "So, as I was saying, that was the very end-tip of a tentacle from a Tyrant of the Outer Darkness. They try to push into ordinary three-dimensional spacetime occasionally, but the boss has set things up so the easiest place to come through is right above the Castle. This time he got a sample, which means the next time they won't even get this close. But physics is so different in the Outer Darkness that you can literally go insane if you look too closely or actually touch them without protection."
That statement left an extremely thoughtful silence in its wake, until Vicky decided it would probably be a good idea to change the subject. Anything would be better than dwelling on the fact that they were sharing a castle with the remains of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know.
"Is it just me," she ventured, "or did the windows look different? And the stuffed dragon …?"
"Oh, all that came down when the tentacle punched in through the roof," Riley confirmed. "But the boss fixed it after he killed the Tyrants. They were fifty years planning this incursion, and he just took out the ringleaders. It'll be a lot longer before they come back again."
"I counted four extra cores," Amy said cautiously. "Was that how many there were?"
"Five, actually." Riley shrugged. "But one was a duplicate, so he gave it to Snek to eat." She looked around at the team, then gestured along the corridor. "Okay, everyone's here. Pick a room. Clothes will be in the wardrobe. Come on out when you're done."
Aunt Sarah opened the closest door and went inside. One by one, Amy's teammates selected a room, but she lingered for a moment. "The thing on the table. What was that?"
"The Faceless Minion?" Riley waited for Amy's tentative nod. "Yeah, the Tyrants generate those by the thousand. Snek had a good time nomming down on them, but the boss wanted a sample from them as well, so he had Snek let one get past. They've got an organ that kind of acts like their brain and heart and liver all at once, so I performed some non-elective field surgery on it. Now we're taking the rest of it apart to see how it works. The boss is all over the magic stuff, but I can provide insights into anatomy and biology that he finds useful." She grinned at Amy. "So yeah, that's my life now. It's hella fun."
Amy's head was spinning with the ramifications of what Riley was saying, but she couldn't even begin to start delving into the details. "It, uh, certainly sounds interesting. But where did you learn to do surgery? You can't be more than twelve or thirteen."
Riley raised a finger. "That's a 'later' question. Right now, I'd say you need to go get dressed if you don't want to be holding everyone else up."
As full of questions as she might be, Amy could take a hint. "Okay, thanks."
<><>
Glory Girl
"Okay, I give up." Crystal, wearing a Robin-Hood-esque outfit in green and gold, shook her head as she stared at her father. "Where did you find that?"
Uncle Neil shrugged as he looked down at the fur-trimmed vest and trousers with the heavy boots. The short-handled double-bladed axe slung across his back merely served to complete the image. "They were in the wardrobe? I'm just impressed they had anything in my size."
Vicky, in leather armour with a buckler (she'd considered the chainmail bikini but decided in the end not to give her mother an aneurysm), shook her head and grinned. "You look like you're getting ready to make Conan look like a wimp."
Sarah, who had picked a set of hard-wearing leathers with goggles similar to the ones Riley had been wearing, gave her husband an approving up-and-down. "He certainly does, doesn't he?"
"Mom!" Crystal protested. "Ew!"
"Dad should wear that going up against the bad guys," Eric quipped, straightening the chainmail vest he was wearing. "They'd surrender straight away."
"And would that be such a bad thing?" Steering away from the flashier clothing Vicky had seen in her own wardrobe, Amy had chosen a set of robes that were not dissimilar to her Panacea costume. However, these were in Twilight's colours and came with a vicious-looking dagger on the belt.
"I can't see it being a problem." Mark stepped out of his room, looking downright dashing in something a nobleman might wear, complete with rapier at his waist. "I think we could all do with the bad guys just giving up without a fight."
"Wow, Dad," Vicky said, raising an eyebrow. "Way to rock the Middle Ages."
"Wait," Amy said, looking around. "Where's Carol?"
The last door opened, and Vicky's mother emerged. To Vicky's quiet amusement, she'd managed to colour-match with Mark almost perfectly, while still choosing a practical dress rather than a 'floofy' gown as described by Aunt Sarah. "Nobody laugh," she muttered. "I'm only doing this because you talked me into it."
"Why would we laugh, Aunt Carol?" Crystal gestured at the group now assembled in the corridor. "Look at us. We rock!"
"Heck yeah, you do." Riley emerged from the same doorway they'd teleported in by. "Nice choices. They look good on you."
"I know I'm probably going to regret asking this," Neil said. "But how the hell do those wardrobes work? I just kept on swiping left, and it kept on bringing out new outfits, all in my size. Do you regularly have seven-foot guys staying here?"
Riley grinned. "You might be surprised. But no, those wardrobes are set up to generate clothing according to the needs and tastes of the people staying in those rooms, based around a range of templates. Compared to what else goes on around here, it's a very minor enchantment." She dusted her hands off. "So, who's ready to come see the village?"
Vicky would always be unsure who spoke first as she and Crystal stepped forward.
"Me!"
End of Part Twenty-Five
ThrawnCA
Carbon-based biped
- Location
- Australia
I think I most like how casual Snek is about the whole business. They were invaded by thousands of Faceless Minions of the Outer Darkness, that meant it was afternoon tea time.
- Location
- Australia
He prefers when demons try to invade. Spicy.
M. H. Fuzzball
Aperture Science-certified Horrible Person
- Location
- Sector 2814
"As in, a 'When the Boss is right there to stop your mom' question."
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Kaernetron
Feuergeist
- Location
- Weit, Weit dort Oben
Yeah, there's no way Carol will react in any form of reasonable fashion to the revelation that Bonesaw's Kill Order has been commuted to exile (from Earth Bet) and community service on parole (the Master acting somewhat as her parole officer).
Raved Thrad
Your Friendly Neighborhood Curmudgeon
- Location
- The Other Side of the Screen
@Ack you dirty, dirty tease! Do you know how painful it is to swallow an impending squee? Here I was, all set to see Vicky and Crystal bonding with dragons, maybe even see Carol dislodge the stick up her ass, but you leave it on a cliffy!
- Location
- Australia
I promise, next month. Same Snek-time, same Snek-channel.@Ack you dirty, dirty tease! Do you know how painful it is to swallow an impending squee? Here I was, all set to see Vicky and Crystal bonding with dragons, maybe even see Carol dislodge the stick up her ass, but you leave it on a cliffy!
RazorSmile
ROB Used To Be A Knife Missile
Things that can actually damage Snek in a fight? Scary.
Crayz9000
Deranged Bounty Hunter
- Location
- Improbably superpositioned
I didn't get the impression that his scales were actually damaged. "Scorched and marked" could certainly be the result of being, say, next to part of the castle that just blew up from the giant tentacle stabbing into it.
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- Location
- Australia
Once he has time to give himself a good polish, he'll be back to his usual good looks.
Part Twenty-Six: Visiting the Village
- Location
- Australia
Snek is a Good Boy
Part Twenty-Six: Visiting the Village
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Glory Girl
"Okay," Riley announced. "I'm sure you don't want to walk down all the steps to the foot of the mountain, and you probably don't want to draw attention to yourselves by flying down. So we'll go by doorway." She gestured to the door frame behind her. "Most of the doorways in the Castle are hardwired, so to speak, but a few can be redirected if you know how. And I know how."
Half-turning, she put her hand up on what appeared to be a knot in the wood grain and murmured under her breath, tapping her fingers in a pattern that had to be anything but random. Though Vicky strained her ears, the words didn't sound like English, or even any variation on the half-assed Latin some movies used for magic spells.
"How cool is this?" murmured Crystal, watching Riley as though she could somehow divine how the younger girl was doing it. "We're in an actual magic castle with teleporting doorways. And Riley's just like us. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has a Midwestern accent."
"Well—" began Vicky, wondering how to break that particular bit of news, but was thankfully interrupted by Riley.
"And … done." She beamed at them as she dusted her hands off. "This will drop us to the foot of the mountain in one step. Your ears will feel funny for a second, but that'll just be the magic adjusting the pressure in your sinuses." She thought for a moment. "Um, you've all got coin pouches. The gold ones are called crowns, the silvers are called nobles and the coppers are called jacks. Don't look at me, I didn't name 'em."
"Huh." Vicky had vaguely noticed the leather pouch, but she'd been too busy with getting the outfit on properly to pay more attention to it. Now she untied it from her belt and investigated its contents. The coins were nice and chunky in her hand, with weird writing on them. "What are they worth? I mean, if we want to buy something? And whose money is this, anyway?"
Riley waved her hand vaguely. "It's decimal currency. A jack is worth about a dollar, kind of? Maybe? Some things are cheaper and some are more expensive than you'd find on Earth Bet. And the boss literally doesn't care about money. It doesn't mean any more to him than Monopoly money would to you."
Carol frowned. "Wait a minute. You sound suspiciously familiar with our pop culture. And with how much things cost. Have you been to Earth Bet?"
"Well, that depends on your definition of 'been to'," Riley said. "I was born there, and I only came here a few months ago. Does that count?"
Crystal's expression was a hilarious mixture of 'wtf' and 'I thought so', while Carol's frown became a glare. "You've been deceiving us," she snapped. "Why didn't you tell us the truth from the beginning?"
"Oh, for god's sake!" Sarah stepped in between Riley and Carol. "You're way out of line! She's a perfectly sweet young lady who is under zero obligation to tell us anything she doesn't want to. And to be honest, I don't see what business it is of yours—or mine—where she hails from. She's clearly doing quite well for herself, right here and now!"
"Hear, hear," Neil agreed, moving forward as well. "Carol, Sarah's right. Leave the kid alone."
Carol looked to Mark, who put his hands up defensively. "Don't drag me into this. I was perfectly fine with the way things were. Can we just enjoy visiting Narnia for an hour without making this into a whole Thing?"
"What he said, Mom," added Vicky. "We're in a whole new world. We're guests here! Just stop being so … so you. Please?"
Pressing her lips together, Carol looked at the group opposing her. Crystal and Eric were evidently on Vicky's side, and she didn't even bother seeking support from Amy. Eventually, she huffed out a disgruntled sigh. "Fine. But I still think something weird's going on here. This can't be a healthy working environment."
"I bet it's healthier than being in New Wave," Amy snarked. "C'mon, Riley. I want to go see what the fuss is all about."
Vicky followed her as she stepped forward. Hahaha, wow. Ames is really feeling her oats today. Twilight must be a good influence on her.
Panacea
When Amy stepped out through the doorway, she found herself in a small flower-decorated gazebo that surrounded the open arch of the doorway on all sides. Her ears did feel funny for a moment as predicted, but it quickly passed. On her shoulder, Twilight didn't even seem to notice. Amy could feel the warm weight of the hearth-dragon's tail draped across her shoulders, and took comfort from it.
Between the vines draped over the trellis around the gazebo, she saw nearby buildings, and people walking here and there. "Huh," she said out loud. "Hollywood lied to me."
"As if that was a huge revelation." Riley looked over from where she was leaning casually against one of the gazebo posts. "What part of that are you just noticing?"
"Well, the locals." Amy was aware that Vicky and the others were coming through as she spoke, but she wanted to get her point across. "They're kind of cleaner than I expected. And they're wearing clothing just as colourful as ours."
"So, not actually downtrodden peasants and serfs?" Riley grinned and raised an eyebrow, then continued once Amy had nodded in reluctant agreement. "Well, that's mainly because this is a world with magic and stuff. Hygiene's a real thing here, and a lot fewer people die of any given disease. Also, they don't have to depend on weird snails or oysters for specific types of rare cloth or dye, so everyone can wear whatever colours they like."
"And I'm guessing they don't have to worry about some asshole lord or baron or whatever just kidnapping a pretty girl because he likes her looks and having his way with her," Vicky posited as she joined them, hooking her thumb back up over her shoulder. "Having a literal god-tier wizard in his castle on the mountain just up there would go a long way toward discouraging that kind of bullshit."
"The boss doesn't spend a lot of time keeping an eye on what people down here do," Riley admitted, "but he does like it when it's nice and peaceful, and the dragons kind of act as his proxies when things get heated. Being glared at by something the size of a seven-four-seven tends to make even the most self-important assholes reconsider their priorities."
Crystal snorted in amusement. "I haven't even met these dragons yet, and I like them already."
Sarah cleared her throat. "So, let's go meet the locals." She stepped out of the gazebo, parting a couple of the hanging vines with her hands, and made her way into the sunshine.
Crystal and Eric followed her, then Amy and Vicky. Behind her, Amy heard Neil's solid footsteps; she presumed Mark and Carol were coming along too, though she wouldn't have been heartbroken if Carol decided to stay behind. She didn't hate her foster mother, exactly, but the woman had an outright talent for sucking the fun out of a situation.
Twilight turned her head and chirped happily; Amy followed her gaze to see a couple of hearth-dragons flying between the buildings. People glanced up and smiled to see them, then went about their business. It was just another reminder that people here were used to the existence of dragons in general, and hearth-dragons in particular.
They are so damn lucky.
"So, was there anything in particular you'd like to see?" asked Riley, trotting alongside Amy and Vicky. "Or did you just want to look around and enjoy the ambiance?"
"Actually, yes," Neil said. "Is there such a thing as an inn or a tavern around here? Wearing this outfit, I have the strong urge to quaff a tankard of ale, however that's done."
Eric grinned. "I think you need a beard to really enjoy the experience, Dad. If the online games I've been in are any kind of guide, quaffing involves a bit of spillage."
"No beards." Sarah's tone was firm, for all the playfulness in her expression. "Quaff all the ale you like, but no man of mine is growing a beard."
Riley rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't know about the beard side of things, but the tavern's this way. They might even have performers in from the Bardic College."
"Bardic College?" Crystal looked over with interest. "There's such a thing as a Bardic College? Right here in town?"
"There totally is." Riley nodded in confirmation. "They train in singing and whatever musical instruments they're into, and bardic magic as well. When they graduate to journeyman status, they get a sash and a pin shaped like a harp. It's pretty cool."
"… wait, go back." Vicky put a finger up. "You said bardic magic. So there's magic here that the Master of the Castle isn't involved in?"
Riley shrugged. "Well, yeah. But nothing that can match up to what the boss can do."
"Duh." Eric snorted in derision. "That's like saying 'powers that don't match up to what Scion can do'. Because that's basically all powers, everywhere."
"Okay, good point." Riley paused for a moment, as though deciding whether or not to say something. Amy watched her expression, wondering what was up. Then the moment passed, and Riley shook her head slightly. "So, who wants to see the tavern? The venison stew's pretty good, and there's no minimum drinking age here, just in case anyone else wants to sample the ale."
"No." Carol shook her head firmly. "You children will not be drinking."
"How about me?" Crystal's tone was challenging. "If I went to England, I could drink there right now."
"So, we can legally drink here?" asked Vicky. "Really?"
"Sure, why not?" Riley shrugged again. "It's pretty rich, and it makes the tips of my ears tingle. Not something I want to do as a habit, but it's nice on a cold day."
"You will not be drinking!" Carol turned to Sarah. "Come on, back me up on this at least!"
"Say what you like to your kids, but leave mine out of it." Sarah drew in Crystal and Eric by eye. "I'm trusting you to be sensible. Just remember, we're still meeting the dragons later and you'll want to be clear-headed for that. Okay?"
Eric nodded earnestly. "Okay, sure. And I'll make sure Crystal doesn't get too drunk, the lush."
"I do not—!" began Crystal hotly, then moderated her tone when Sarah raised an eyebrow. Clearing her throat, she started again. "I do not get drunk. And I totally wasn't the one who got into the liquor cabinet that one time."
"Really." Neil looked down at his son, who shot Crystal a betrayed glare. "I think we're going to be having a chat about that, when we get home."
"Mom, it's fine," Vicky insisted. "If I get too soused, Ames can just break down the alcohol and make me totally sober again."
Amy folded her arms, hiding a grin at Carol's expression. Back on Earth Bet, Brandish had all the authority. Here and now, that authority was eroding away. But Vicky still needed to be filled in on certain facts. "Yeah, sure, Ames can absolutely do that. But just remember, it'll also come with a monster hangover, which I'm not going to do anything about, because that's brain work and I don't do brains."
Riley shook her head. Just loudly enough for Amy to hear (which Amy suspected was deliberate) she muttered, "How you guys ever caught any villains is a mystery to me." Then she raised her voice to be heard by all concerned. "Uh, like I said, the tavern's down this way."
As they moved in a group down the cobblestone road, Amy took in the rustic-looking buildings and the people around them. The climate seemed temperate, and the village had more of a medieval-Europe flavour than an Old West appearance. A horse clopped slowly past, pulling a wagon full of produce, with a hearth-dragon perched on its head.
Vicky gestured up at what appeared to be torch sconces mounted at intervals on the buildings. "Does someone come along and light those? Surely they wouldn't burn all night."
"Yes and no." Riley grinned at Vicky's frown of incomprehension. "Those are everfire torches. As soon as it gets dark enough, the night watch make the rounds and give the command words for them to ignite. They burn with a pretty purple light."
"Oh. Huh." Vicky's expression showed that she had once more run face-first into her expectations about this society. "More magic, just like that, huh?"
"Just like that," Riley agreed blandly. "There's a few casters in town who make money from their magic. Healers, crop growth, animal diseases, regular rain, Oathbonds, stuff like that. From what I understand, the more you branch out, the wider your range of clientele, but you're nowhere near as good as a dedicated practitioner. One guy might be able to make it rain over your fields by glaring really hard at a cloud, while the other guy takes a week of chanting to get the same effect. But that guy can also knit a busted femur in a few days or cure your cow of whatever's stopping her milk."
"Heck, Amy could do two of those herself." Crystal threw a companionable arm around Amy's shoulders, careful not to dislodge Twilight. "Though I'm not sure how well you'd do at making it rain."
"In a word: poorly." Amy looked over at Riley. "So it's true. If I wanted to move here, I could totally set up as a dedicated healer, and make money out of it?"
"Oh, easily." Riley flipped her hand airily. "You, they'd love. A healer who can get it done in minutes? Plus, having a hearth-dragon is an extra bonus. They're seen as good luck, and as a mark of superior character. It's more that being bonded to a hearth-dragon helps you be a good person, but the end result is the same."
"Wouldn't other healers get annoyed that Amy's stealing their thunder?" asked Vicky. "Because she'd be a lot better than most of them, if not all."
"Not really." This time, Riley's gesture encompassed the village and the land beyond. "Some illnesses and parasites and stuff have a distinctly magical aspect, and I'm pretty sure her power wouldn't have the first idea how to deal with them. Magical healers, on the other hand, can totally deal with that sort of thing. And here we are."
"Oh." Vicky looked up at the sign hanging in front of the building Riley had just indicated. It was garishly painted, with a rainbow-coloured dragon enthusiastically pouring the contents of a suitably-scaled tankard down its throat. Though the writing was just as unreadable as that on the coins, she had a fair notion of what it said. "Let me guess. The Drunken Dragon?"
"Got it in one." Riley grinned. "Though some people call it The Other Dragon. The joke is, if you can see two dragons, it's time to go home."
"Wait." Eric suddenly looked nervous. "Do dragons drink? And get drunk?"
Crystal snorted. "Who's gonna stop 'em?"
Riley shook her head. "Not the big ones. Though hearth-dragons have been known to enjoy a little ale from time to time. It's very much an individual quirk, though. None of them go the whole hog and get drunk, mainly because they know they'll get laughed at by the others if they do."
Amy reached up and stroked Twilight, who chirped in appreciation and leaned into her hand. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest."
Neil pushed aside the door-curtain and stepped inside, followed by Sarah and their kids. Vicky and Amy went in side by side, with Riley behind them. When Amy's eyes adjusted to the lower light levels inside—not too bad all told, with odd purplish torches illuminating the darker corners and a large fireplace (with an equally large pot bubbling away) adding warmth and light to the main area—she beheld a sawdust-covered floor, heavy-built tables, and a long counter with a heavily-built man behind it. Several of the patrons of the tavern, wearing the same rough-spun but colourful clothing that the people outside had been displaying, turned to look at them then lost interest again.
"Look," murmured Crystal, pointing at the rafters. Amy raised her eyes in that direction, then realised that there were maybe a dozen hearth-dragons up there. As she watched, two broke free of the group and swooped down to land in the fireplace; that is, in the fire itself.
"Holy crap," blurted Eric. "Did you just see that? Are they okay?"
Amy frowned. "I think so?" From what she could see, among the embers and the burning wood, the two hearth-dragons (rather like Twilight in form if not colouring) were rolling and playing happily. A moment later, they shook off the ash and sparks, and took flight out of the fireplace. They made a circuit of the room, trailing a few last sparks from their still-glowing red and gold scales, before rejoining their brethren in the rafters.
"Wooooow," breathed Vicky. Despite the fact that she'd seen hearth-dragons up close before, and even flown with them, her eyes were alight with wonder.
Crystal was even more smitten. "Can all dragons do that?" she asked, keeping her voice down with a visible effort.
"No, just the red ones," Riley explained. "They're basically fireproof. Their big cousins are the ones that can breathe fire."
"Hm." Sarah looked thoughtful. "So if someone bonds with a red one, do they become fireproof too?"
Riley nodded. "That's the way it works, yeah. But you can't just bond with one to order. The hearth-dragons pick the people they bond with, a lot more than the other way around."
"Well, that's definitely something to think about," Neil admitted. "But let's get a table while we're doing that, so we don't stick out too much."
"Says the guy literally wearing a battle-axe on his back," Mark retorted in a rare display of snark.
Neil smirked. "Who axed you?"
Amid the collective groans from Amy and the other youngsters, as well as Sarah, he made his way to an as-yet unoccupied table, and pulled out two of the heavy chairs: one for himself, and one for Sarah. She smiled and sat down, while Amy and Vicky pulled out seats for themselves. Amy also grabbed one for Riley; while the younger girl had shown herself to be extremely capable in her own right, she was still a skinny twelve-year-old.
As soon as they were all seated and Amy was just starting to wonder if they should've gone to the counter to order, a young woman came over to their table. Her clothing was neat and tidy and she had a leather pouch slung on her hip; the smile she gave them as she came up was either genuine or she was really good at her job.
"Good morn to you, folks," she said cheerfully. "What would you be having?"
"Um," Neil said, caught on the back foot. "What's good, here? And how much is it going to cost?"
She tilted her head knowingly. "Ah, I'd wager you're new in town, if you don't know of our famed venison stew. And for drink we have ale or mead, both the finest you'll find around. Three jacks for either, or five for two."
"I'll have a bowl of stew then," Neil said. "And some ale too, please. Sarah?"
"Just the stew, thanks," Sarah said. "The youngsters will have smaller cups of the mead, if you have them."
"And the stew for each of us," Vicky added hastily. "That smells amazing."
"And it tastes even better," the serving woman acknowledged. She took Mark's order for himself and Carol (who had apparently decided to stay silent for the moment) then moved off again.
"Okay," Eric said once she'd gone back to the counter. "I'm just going to say, this trip's been cooler than I could've imagined so far, and we haven't even gotten to the big dragons yet. Mom, Dad, thanks for bringing us."
"What he said," Vicky agreed. "I've been to this world exactly twice, and flying with dragons was totally awesome, don't get me wrong. But I never came down here until now, and dressed up like this it feels like we've just stepped into a fantasy movie."
"Just make sure there isn't some shadowy guy sitting in the corner with a broken sword," Crystal quipped.
"Wrong franchise," Amy shot back. "This is Narnia, not Middle Earth." She paused and looked at Riley. "Or do they actually have short people with hairy feet, here?"
"No shorter or hairier than normal," Riley assured her, deadpan. "Some do choose to live underground, but they do that back on Earth Bet too, from what I understand."
Another group pushed aside the curtain and entered, chatting busily among themselves. Their apparent leader, a woman clad in the same kind of hard-wearing leathers that Sarah had chosen, had a green hearth-dragon on her shoulder. When it saw Twilight, it chirped a cheerful greeting, which Amy's companion returned. Both took to the air at once, passed by each other, then flew up to where the other hearth-dragons were perched in the rafters.
"Drinks all round!" announced the leader of the newcomers. "Another outlaw band off the roads, and we've been well rewarded for our efforts!" Gold coins clattered on the counter; the patrons raised a cheer, and their mugs as well.
"Those guys totally look like a classic adventuring party, don't they?" murmured Eric. "Bows, swords, crossbows. They're the real deal."
Crystal nodded, then frowned. "Is it just me, or does the one with the stringed instrument and the feathers in her hair look kind of familiar?"
Amy turned her head just far enough to look for herself. Her cousin wasn't exactly wrong; the feathers entwined with the musician's hair were a bright yellow, strongly reminiscent of the disgraced rogue cape Bad Canary, who'd been sent to the Birdcage for misusing her Master powers.
"She does, yeah," Vicky agreed before Amy could speak. "Riley, does this happen much? People from different universes ending up looking the same?"
"Not like that, no," Riley began, but was interrupted by the return of the serving woman.
"Your stew, gentles and ladies," the woman said briskly, placing steaming bowls on the table, along with a fresh-baked bread roll for each place. "I'll be back in a moment with your drinks. Keep your coin for those; they've already been paid for." She nodded toward Neil. "'Tis not often we get one of your size in here. Would you be of a mind to try a larger tankard?" A gesture toward the counter revealed an oversized mug, twice the size of the regular type, being taken down from a shelf.
Neil glanced at the rest of the table. "Uh …"
"Do it!" hissed Eric.
"Yeah, Dad," Crystal chimed in. "Do it!"
"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Vicky chanted, grinning broadly.
Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead, honey. You may as well."
"Alright then." Neil nodded to the woman. "Let's do this thing."
"I'll be right back, then." She traipsed away, while other patrons raised their mugs to Neil. It seemed to Amy that this was some kind of regular challenge.
Taking up her spoon, she was less than surprised when Twilight landed on the table before her just a second or so later. The hearth-dragon eyed the stew, took a deep and appreciative sniff of the odours coming off it, then gave the most impressive rendition of puppy-dog eyes Amy had seen from her yet. Going solely by the hopeful crooning, Amy might well have assumed Twilight had been starving for days.
"Wow," she said, amused. "It's like I didn't already give you breakfast. Where do you put it all?" But she dipped her spoon in the stew anyway and fished out a nice chunk of meat, then plucked it off the spoon and handed it to Twilight. The hearth-dragon accepted it politely and ate it.
Around the table, she noticed, everyone else was also faced with a hungry-looking hearth-dragon. Like Twilight, they were waiting until they were offered food, then eating it carefully. None were actually starving, she figured; they were just really good at acting that way.
"Haha wow," chuckled Eric, feeding one of the red hearth-dragons a piece of bread roll soaked in the gravy. "These guys sure have it made. Cute enough to be fed regularly, smart enough not to be pushy about it."
Now that Twilight had been temporarily sated, Amy tried out the stew for herself. It was as delicious as it smelled, with a rich variety of seasonings that she didn't recognise but she still rather enjoyed. She took another couple of spoonfuls before feeding Twilight another piece of meat.
The drinks arrived around then; Neil got his oversized tankard, Mark a normal-sized one, and five smaller cups were placed before Amy, Vicky, Eric, Crystal and Riley. Amy hadn't been overly interested in getting alcohol—she'd never tried it before, not really seeing the appeal—but she took hers up and sniffed at it, then gingerly tasted it. Like the stew, it was rich in flavour, but sweet instead of savoury.
"Hey," Vicky said, sounding a little surprised. "This is really nice."
"Our meadery's the finest for a long way around," the serving woman confirmed with a nod of satisfaction. "There's magic-touched flowers in the woods where the bees gather their pollen, and that honey's used by some to make potions. We use it in our mead and you can tell the difference, can you not?"
"It's definitely got a zing to it," Crystal said. "Here, cutie, try this." She dipped some bread in the mead then offered it to the hearth-dragon perching in front of her. Accepting it delicately with its forelimbs, it ate the offering with every evidence of enjoyment.
"How about you, Dad?" Eric grinned at Neil, then nodded toward the oversized tankard in front of him. "Are you going to take the challenge, or am I going to have to man up and do it for you?"
"Dang, Eric, how much of this mead have you had?" jibed Vicky with a grin. "It's good stuff but you might want to lay off it if it's gonna make you say stuff like that."
"No, no, he's right." Neil took up the tankard. "I accepted the challenge fair and square. Let's see how good this ale really is."
"Dooo it," Eric egged him on.
"Dooo it," Crystal echoed.
"Do it, do it, do it," Vicky reiterated her earlier chant.
Even Amy found herself grinning. "Do it," she added onto the tail end of everyone else.
Taking a deep breath, Neil raised the tankard to his mouth and began to drink. He gradually tilted it farther and farther back as he worked his way through the contents. Toward the end, Amy began to worry that he was going to run out of breath before he ran out of ale, but he finally raised it up past horizontal, gulped down the last of the ale, and slammed the tankard down on the table. Then, just to punctuate what he'd done, he released a long rolling belch that almost drowned out the spontaneous cheering that arose from the tables around.
Sarah rolled her eyes, though Amy could see pride at her husband's accomplishment on her face. "Seriously, men are all the same, whether it's a medieval tavern or a redneck bar. Drinking and belching."
Amy could tell Vicky was about to respond, but at that moment her sister's gaze fell on something that made her eyes widen. Looking in that direction, Amy's own eyebrows rose in surprise. "Wow, Mom," Vicky said. "Look at you."
Carol raised her head from where she was cuddling a hearth-dragon covered in silvery scales. The miniature dragon was snuggling into her embrace, its head resting on her shoulder with its eyes closed in bliss. Arrested in the motion of stroking the hearth-dragon's wings, her hand started moving again, softly caressing the smooth membranes. The dragon rumbled gently in appreciation.
"What?" she asked.
End of Part Twenty-Six
Part Twenty-Six: Visiting the Village
[A/N: This chapter commissioned by @Fizzfaldt and beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
Glory Girl
"Okay," Riley announced. "I'm sure you don't want to walk down all the steps to the foot of the mountain, and you probably don't want to draw attention to yourselves by flying down. So we'll go by doorway." She gestured to the door frame behind her. "Most of the doorways in the Castle are hardwired, so to speak, but a few can be redirected if you know how. And I know how."
Half-turning, she put her hand up on what appeared to be a knot in the wood grain and murmured under her breath, tapping her fingers in a pattern that had to be anything but random. Though Vicky strained her ears, the words didn't sound like English, or even any variation on the half-assed Latin some movies used for magic spells.
"How cool is this?" murmured Crystal, watching Riley as though she could somehow divine how the younger girl was doing it. "We're in an actual magic castle with teleporting doorways. And Riley's just like us. If I didn't know better, I'd say she has a Midwestern accent."
"Well—" began Vicky, wondering how to break that particular bit of news, but was thankfully interrupted by Riley.
"And … done." She beamed at them as she dusted her hands off. "This will drop us to the foot of the mountain in one step. Your ears will feel funny for a second, but that'll just be the magic adjusting the pressure in your sinuses." She thought for a moment. "Um, you've all got coin pouches. The gold ones are called crowns, the silvers are called nobles and the coppers are called jacks. Don't look at me, I didn't name 'em."
"Huh." Vicky had vaguely noticed the leather pouch, but she'd been too busy with getting the outfit on properly to pay more attention to it. Now she untied it from her belt and investigated its contents. The coins were nice and chunky in her hand, with weird writing on them. "What are they worth? I mean, if we want to buy something? And whose money is this, anyway?"
Riley waved her hand vaguely. "It's decimal currency. A jack is worth about a dollar, kind of? Maybe? Some things are cheaper and some are more expensive than you'd find on Earth Bet. And the boss literally doesn't care about money. It doesn't mean any more to him than Monopoly money would to you."
Carol frowned. "Wait a minute. You sound suspiciously familiar with our pop culture. And with how much things cost. Have you been to Earth Bet?"
"Well, that depends on your definition of 'been to'," Riley said. "I was born there, and I only came here a few months ago. Does that count?"
Crystal's expression was a hilarious mixture of 'wtf' and 'I thought so', while Carol's frown became a glare. "You've been deceiving us," she snapped. "Why didn't you tell us the truth from the beginning?"
"Oh, for god's sake!" Sarah stepped in between Riley and Carol. "You're way out of line! She's a perfectly sweet young lady who is under zero obligation to tell us anything she doesn't want to. And to be honest, I don't see what business it is of yours—or mine—where she hails from. She's clearly doing quite well for herself, right here and now!"
"Hear, hear," Neil agreed, moving forward as well. "Carol, Sarah's right. Leave the kid alone."
Carol looked to Mark, who put his hands up defensively. "Don't drag me into this. I was perfectly fine with the way things were. Can we just enjoy visiting Narnia for an hour without making this into a whole Thing?"
"What he said, Mom," added Vicky. "We're in a whole new world. We're guests here! Just stop being so … so you. Please?"
Pressing her lips together, Carol looked at the group opposing her. Crystal and Eric were evidently on Vicky's side, and she didn't even bother seeking support from Amy. Eventually, she huffed out a disgruntled sigh. "Fine. But I still think something weird's going on here. This can't be a healthy working environment."
"I bet it's healthier than being in New Wave," Amy snarked. "C'mon, Riley. I want to go see what the fuss is all about."
Vicky followed her as she stepped forward. Hahaha, wow. Ames is really feeling her oats today. Twilight must be a good influence on her.
<><>
Panacea
When Amy stepped out through the doorway, she found herself in a small flower-decorated gazebo that surrounded the open arch of the doorway on all sides. Her ears did feel funny for a moment as predicted, but it quickly passed. On her shoulder, Twilight didn't even seem to notice. Amy could feel the warm weight of the hearth-dragon's tail draped across her shoulders, and took comfort from it.
Between the vines draped over the trellis around the gazebo, she saw nearby buildings, and people walking here and there. "Huh," she said out loud. "Hollywood lied to me."
"As if that was a huge revelation." Riley looked over from where she was leaning casually against one of the gazebo posts. "What part of that are you just noticing?"
"Well, the locals." Amy was aware that Vicky and the others were coming through as she spoke, but she wanted to get her point across. "They're kind of cleaner than I expected. And they're wearing clothing just as colourful as ours."
"So, not actually downtrodden peasants and serfs?" Riley grinned and raised an eyebrow, then continued once Amy had nodded in reluctant agreement. "Well, that's mainly because this is a world with magic and stuff. Hygiene's a real thing here, and a lot fewer people die of any given disease. Also, they don't have to depend on weird snails or oysters for specific types of rare cloth or dye, so everyone can wear whatever colours they like."
"And I'm guessing they don't have to worry about some asshole lord or baron or whatever just kidnapping a pretty girl because he likes her looks and having his way with her," Vicky posited as she joined them, hooking her thumb back up over her shoulder. "Having a literal god-tier wizard in his castle on the mountain just up there would go a long way toward discouraging that kind of bullshit."
"The boss doesn't spend a lot of time keeping an eye on what people down here do," Riley admitted, "but he does like it when it's nice and peaceful, and the dragons kind of act as his proxies when things get heated. Being glared at by something the size of a seven-four-seven tends to make even the most self-important assholes reconsider their priorities."
Crystal snorted in amusement. "I haven't even met these dragons yet, and I like them already."
Sarah cleared her throat. "So, let's go meet the locals." She stepped out of the gazebo, parting a couple of the hanging vines with her hands, and made her way into the sunshine.
Crystal and Eric followed her, then Amy and Vicky. Behind her, Amy heard Neil's solid footsteps; she presumed Mark and Carol were coming along too, though she wouldn't have been heartbroken if Carol decided to stay behind. She didn't hate her foster mother, exactly, but the woman had an outright talent for sucking the fun out of a situation.
Twilight turned her head and chirped happily; Amy followed her gaze to see a couple of hearth-dragons flying between the buildings. People glanced up and smiled to see them, then went about their business. It was just another reminder that people here were used to the existence of dragons in general, and hearth-dragons in particular.
They are so damn lucky.
"So, was there anything in particular you'd like to see?" asked Riley, trotting alongside Amy and Vicky. "Or did you just want to look around and enjoy the ambiance?"
"Actually, yes," Neil said. "Is there such a thing as an inn or a tavern around here? Wearing this outfit, I have the strong urge to quaff a tankard of ale, however that's done."
Eric grinned. "I think you need a beard to really enjoy the experience, Dad. If the online games I've been in are any kind of guide, quaffing involves a bit of spillage."
"No beards." Sarah's tone was firm, for all the playfulness in her expression. "Quaff all the ale you like, but no man of mine is growing a beard."
Riley rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't know about the beard side of things, but the tavern's this way. They might even have performers in from the Bardic College."
"Bardic College?" Crystal looked over with interest. "There's such a thing as a Bardic College? Right here in town?"
"There totally is." Riley nodded in confirmation. "They train in singing and whatever musical instruments they're into, and bardic magic as well. When they graduate to journeyman status, they get a sash and a pin shaped like a harp. It's pretty cool."
"… wait, go back." Vicky put a finger up. "You said bardic magic. So there's magic here that the Master of the Castle isn't involved in?"
Riley shrugged. "Well, yeah. But nothing that can match up to what the boss can do."
"Duh." Eric snorted in derision. "That's like saying 'powers that don't match up to what Scion can do'. Because that's basically all powers, everywhere."
"Okay, good point." Riley paused for a moment, as though deciding whether or not to say something. Amy watched her expression, wondering what was up. Then the moment passed, and Riley shook her head slightly. "So, who wants to see the tavern? The venison stew's pretty good, and there's no minimum drinking age here, just in case anyone else wants to sample the ale."
"No." Carol shook her head firmly. "You children will not be drinking."
"How about me?" Crystal's tone was challenging. "If I went to England, I could drink there right now."
"So, we can legally drink here?" asked Vicky. "Really?"
"Sure, why not?" Riley shrugged again. "It's pretty rich, and it makes the tips of my ears tingle. Not something I want to do as a habit, but it's nice on a cold day."
"You will not be drinking!" Carol turned to Sarah. "Come on, back me up on this at least!"
"Say what you like to your kids, but leave mine out of it." Sarah drew in Crystal and Eric by eye. "I'm trusting you to be sensible. Just remember, we're still meeting the dragons later and you'll want to be clear-headed for that. Okay?"
Eric nodded earnestly. "Okay, sure. And I'll make sure Crystal doesn't get too drunk, the lush."
"I do not—!" began Crystal hotly, then moderated her tone when Sarah raised an eyebrow. Clearing her throat, she started again. "I do not get drunk. And I totally wasn't the one who got into the liquor cabinet that one time."
"Really." Neil looked down at his son, who shot Crystal a betrayed glare. "I think we're going to be having a chat about that, when we get home."
"Mom, it's fine," Vicky insisted. "If I get too soused, Ames can just break down the alcohol and make me totally sober again."
Amy folded her arms, hiding a grin at Carol's expression. Back on Earth Bet, Brandish had all the authority. Here and now, that authority was eroding away. But Vicky still needed to be filled in on certain facts. "Yeah, sure, Ames can absolutely do that. But just remember, it'll also come with a monster hangover, which I'm not going to do anything about, because that's brain work and I don't do brains."
Riley shook her head. Just loudly enough for Amy to hear (which Amy suspected was deliberate) she muttered, "How you guys ever caught any villains is a mystery to me." Then she raised her voice to be heard by all concerned. "Uh, like I said, the tavern's down this way."
As they moved in a group down the cobblestone road, Amy took in the rustic-looking buildings and the people around them. The climate seemed temperate, and the village had more of a medieval-Europe flavour than an Old West appearance. A horse clopped slowly past, pulling a wagon full of produce, with a hearth-dragon perched on its head.
Vicky gestured up at what appeared to be torch sconces mounted at intervals on the buildings. "Does someone come along and light those? Surely they wouldn't burn all night."
"Yes and no." Riley grinned at Vicky's frown of incomprehension. "Those are everfire torches. As soon as it gets dark enough, the night watch make the rounds and give the command words for them to ignite. They burn with a pretty purple light."
"Oh. Huh." Vicky's expression showed that she had once more run face-first into her expectations about this society. "More magic, just like that, huh?"
"Just like that," Riley agreed blandly. "There's a few casters in town who make money from their magic. Healers, crop growth, animal diseases, regular rain, Oathbonds, stuff like that. From what I understand, the more you branch out, the wider your range of clientele, but you're nowhere near as good as a dedicated practitioner. One guy might be able to make it rain over your fields by glaring really hard at a cloud, while the other guy takes a week of chanting to get the same effect. But that guy can also knit a busted femur in a few days or cure your cow of whatever's stopping her milk."
"Heck, Amy could do two of those herself." Crystal threw a companionable arm around Amy's shoulders, careful not to dislodge Twilight. "Though I'm not sure how well you'd do at making it rain."
"In a word: poorly." Amy looked over at Riley. "So it's true. If I wanted to move here, I could totally set up as a dedicated healer, and make money out of it?"
"Oh, easily." Riley flipped her hand airily. "You, they'd love. A healer who can get it done in minutes? Plus, having a hearth-dragon is an extra bonus. They're seen as good luck, and as a mark of superior character. It's more that being bonded to a hearth-dragon helps you be a good person, but the end result is the same."
"Wouldn't other healers get annoyed that Amy's stealing their thunder?" asked Vicky. "Because she'd be a lot better than most of them, if not all."
"Not really." This time, Riley's gesture encompassed the village and the land beyond. "Some illnesses and parasites and stuff have a distinctly magical aspect, and I'm pretty sure her power wouldn't have the first idea how to deal with them. Magical healers, on the other hand, can totally deal with that sort of thing. And here we are."
"Oh." Vicky looked up at the sign hanging in front of the building Riley had just indicated. It was garishly painted, with a rainbow-coloured dragon enthusiastically pouring the contents of a suitably-scaled tankard down its throat. Though the writing was just as unreadable as that on the coins, she had a fair notion of what it said. "Let me guess. The Drunken Dragon?"
"Got it in one." Riley grinned. "Though some people call it The Other Dragon. The joke is, if you can see two dragons, it's time to go home."
"Wait." Eric suddenly looked nervous. "Do dragons drink? And get drunk?"
Crystal snorted. "Who's gonna stop 'em?"
Riley shook her head. "Not the big ones. Though hearth-dragons have been known to enjoy a little ale from time to time. It's very much an individual quirk, though. None of them go the whole hog and get drunk, mainly because they know they'll get laughed at by the others if they do."
Amy reached up and stroked Twilight, who chirped in appreciation and leaned into her hand. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest."
Neil pushed aside the door-curtain and stepped inside, followed by Sarah and their kids. Vicky and Amy went in side by side, with Riley behind them. When Amy's eyes adjusted to the lower light levels inside—not too bad all told, with odd purplish torches illuminating the darker corners and a large fireplace (with an equally large pot bubbling away) adding warmth and light to the main area—she beheld a sawdust-covered floor, heavy-built tables, and a long counter with a heavily-built man behind it. Several of the patrons of the tavern, wearing the same rough-spun but colourful clothing that the people outside had been displaying, turned to look at them then lost interest again.
"Look," murmured Crystal, pointing at the rafters. Amy raised her eyes in that direction, then realised that there were maybe a dozen hearth-dragons up there. As she watched, two broke free of the group and swooped down to land in the fireplace; that is, in the fire itself.
"Holy crap," blurted Eric. "Did you just see that? Are they okay?"
Amy frowned. "I think so?" From what she could see, among the embers and the burning wood, the two hearth-dragons (rather like Twilight in form if not colouring) were rolling and playing happily. A moment later, they shook off the ash and sparks, and took flight out of the fireplace. They made a circuit of the room, trailing a few last sparks from their still-glowing red and gold scales, before rejoining their brethren in the rafters.
"Wooooow," breathed Vicky. Despite the fact that she'd seen hearth-dragons up close before, and even flown with them, her eyes were alight with wonder.
Crystal was even more smitten. "Can all dragons do that?" she asked, keeping her voice down with a visible effort.
"No, just the red ones," Riley explained. "They're basically fireproof. Their big cousins are the ones that can breathe fire."
"Hm." Sarah looked thoughtful. "So if someone bonds with a red one, do they become fireproof too?"
Riley nodded. "That's the way it works, yeah. But you can't just bond with one to order. The hearth-dragons pick the people they bond with, a lot more than the other way around."
"Well, that's definitely something to think about," Neil admitted. "But let's get a table while we're doing that, so we don't stick out too much."
"Says the guy literally wearing a battle-axe on his back," Mark retorted in a rare display of snark.
Neil smirked. "Who axed you?"
Amid the collective groans from Amy and the other youngsters, as well as Sarah, he made his way to an as-yet unoccupied table, and pulled out two of the heavy chairs: one for himself, and one for Sarah. She smiled and sat down, while Amy and Vicky pulled out seats for themselves. Amy also grabbed one for Riley; while the younger girl had shown herself to be extremely capable in her own right, she was still a skinny twelve-year-old.
As soon as they were all seated and Amy was just starting to wonder if they should've gone to the counter to order, a young woman came over to their table. Her clothing was neat and tidy and she had a leather pouch slung on her hip; the smile she gave them as she came up was either genuine or she was really good at her job.
"Good morn to you, folks," she said cheerfully. "What would you be having?"
"Um," Neil said, caught on the back foot. "What's good, here? And how much is it going to cost?"
She tilted her head knowingly. "Ah, I'd wager you're new in town, if you don't know of our famed venison stew. And for drink we have ale or mead, both the finest you'll find around. Three jacks for either, or five for two."
"I'll have a bowl of stew then," Neil said. "And some ale too, please. Sarah?"
"Just the stew, thanks," Sarah said. "The youngsters will have smaller cups of the mead, if you have them."
"And the stew for each of us," Vicky added hastily. "That smells amazing."
"And it tastes even better," the serving woman acknowledged. She took Mark's order for himself and Carol (who had apparently decided to stay silent for the moment) then moved off again.
"Okay," Eric said once she'd gone back to the counter. "I'm just going to say, this trip's been cooler than I could've imagined so far, and we haven't even gotten to the big dragons yet. Mom, Dad, thanks for bringing us."
"What he said," Vicky agreed. "I've been to this world exactly twice, and flying with dragons was totally awesome, don't get me wrong. But I never came down here until now, and dressed up like this it feels like we've just stepped into a fantasy movie."
"Just make sure there isn't some shadowy guy sitting in the corner with a broken sword," Crystal quipped.
"Wrong franchise," Amy shot back. "This is Narnia, not Middle Earth." She paused and looked at Riley. "Or do they actually have short people with hairy feet, here?"
"No shorter or hairier than normal," Riley assured her, deadpan. "Some do choose to live underground, but they do that back on Earth Bet too, from what I understand."
Another group pushed aside the curtain and entered, chatting busily among themselves. Their apparent leader, a woman clad in the same kind of hard-wearing leathers that Sarah had chosen, had a green hearth-dragon on her shoulder. When it saw Twilight, it chirped a cheerful greeting, which Amy's companion returned. Both took to the air at once, passed by each other, then flew up to where the other hearth-dragons were perched in the rafters.
"Drinks all round!" announced the leader of the newcomers. "Another outlaw band off the roads, and we've been well rewarded for our efforts!" Gold coins clattered on the counter; the patrons raised a cheer, and their mugs as well.
"Those guys totally look like a classic adventuring party, don't they?" murmured Eric. "Bows, swords, crossbows. They're the real deal."
Crystal nodded, then frowned. "Is it just me, or does the one with the stringed instrument and the feathers in her hair look kind of familiar?"
Amy turned her head just far enough to look for herself. Her cousin wasn't exactly wrong; the feathers entwined with the musician's hair were a bright yellow, strongly reminiscent of the disgraced rogue cape Bad Canary, who'd been sent to the Birdcage for misusing her Master powers.
"She does, yeah," Vicky agreed before Amy could speak. "Riley, does this happen much? People from different universes ending up looking the same?"
"Not like that, no," Riley began, but was interrupted by the return of the serving woman.
"Your stew, gentles and ladies," the woman said briskly, placing steaming bowls on the table, along with a fresh-baked bread roll for each place. "I'll be back in a moment with your drinks. Keep your coin for those; they've already been paid for." She nodded toward Neil. "'Tis not often we get one of your size in here. Would you be of a mind to try a larger tankard?" A gesture toward the counter revealed an oversized mug, twice the size of the regular type, being taken down from a shelf.
Neil glanced at the rest of the table. "Uh …"
"Do it!" hissed Eric.
"Yeah, Dad," Crystal chimed in. "Do it!"
"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Vicky chanted, grinning broadly.
Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead, honey. You may as well."
"Alright then." Neil nodded to the woman. "Let's do this thing."
"I'll be right back, then." She traipsed away, while other patrons raised their mugs to Neil. It seemed to Amy that this was some kind of regular challenge.
Taking up her spoon, she was less than surprised when Twilight landed on the table before her just a second or so later. The hearth-dragon eyed the stew, took a deep and appreciative sniff of the odours coming off it, then gave the most impressive rendition of puppy-dog eyes Amy had seen from her yet. Going solely by the hopeful crooning, Amy might well have assumed Twilight had been starving for days.
"Wow," she said, amused. "It's like I didn't already give you breakfast. Where do you put it all?" But she dipped her spoon in the stew anyway and fished out a nice chunk of meat, then plucked it off the spoon and handed it to Twilight. The hearth-dragon accepted it politely and ate it.
Around the table, she noticed, everyone else was also faced with a hungry-looking hearth-dragon. Like Twilight, they were waiting until they were offered food, then eating it carefully. None were actually starving, she figured; they were just really good at acting that way.
"Haha wow," chuckled Eric, feeding one of the red hearth-dragons a piece of bread roll soaked in the gravy. "These guys sure have it made. Cute enough to be fed regularly, smart enough not to be pushy about it."
Now that Twilight had been temporarily sated, Amy tried out the stew for herself. It was as delicious as it smelled, with a rich variety of seasonings that she didn't recognise but she still rather enjoyed. She took another couple of spoonfuls before feeding Twilight another piece of meat.
The drinks arrived around then; Neil got his oversized tankard, Mark a normal-sized one, and five smaller cups were placed before Amy, Vicky, Eric, Crystal and Riley. Amy hadn't been overly interested in getting alcohol—she'd never tried it before, not really seeing the appeal—but she took hers up and sniffed at it, then gingerly tasted it. Like the stew, it was rich in flavour, but sweet instead of savoury.
"Hey," Vicky said, sounding a little surprised. "This is really nice."
"Our meadery's the finest for a long way around," the serving woman confirmed with a nod of satisfaction. "There's magic-touched flowers in the woods where the bees gather their pollen, and that honey's used by some to make potions. We use it in our mead and you can tell the difference, can you not?"
"It's definitely got a zing to it," Crystal said. "Here, cutie, try this." She dipped some bread in the mead then offered it to the hearth-dragon perching in front of her. Accepting it delicately with its forelimbs, it ate the offering with every evidence of enjoyment.
"How about you, Dad?" Eric grinned at Neil, then nodded toward the oversized tankard in front of him. "Are you going to take the challenge, or am I going to have to man up and do it for you?"
"Dang, Eric, how much of this mead have you had?" jibed Vicky with a grin. "It's good stuff but you might want to lay off it if it's gonna make you say stuff like that."
"No, no, he's right." Neil took up the tankard. "I accepted the challenge fair and square. Let's see how good this ale really is."
"Dooo it," Eric egged him on.
"Dooo it," Crystal echoed.
"Do it, do it, do it," Vicky reiterated her earlier chant.
Even Amy found herself grinning. "Do it," she added onto the tail end of everyone else.
Taking a deep breath, Neil raised the tankard to his mouth and began to drink. He gradually tilted it farther and farther back as he worked his way through the contents. Toward the end, Amy began to worry that he was going to run out of breath before he ran out of ale, but he finally raised it up past horizontal, gulped down the last of the ale, and slammed the tankard down on the table. Then, just to punctuate what he'd done, he released a long rolling belch that almost drowned out the spontaneous cheering that arose from the tables around.
Sarah rolled her eyes, though Amy could see pride at her husband's accomplishment on her face. "Seriously, men are all the same, whether it's a medieval tavern or a redneck bar. Drinking and belching."
Amy could tell Vicky was about to respond, but at that moment her sister's gaze fell on something that made her eyes widen. Looking in that direction, Amy's own eyebrows rose in surprise. "Wow, Mom," Vicky said. "Look at you."
Carol raised her head from where she was cuddling a hearth-dragon covered in silvery scales. The miniature dragon was snuggling into her embrace, its head resting on her shoulder with its eyes closed in bliss. Arrested in the motion of stroking the hearth-dragon's wings, her hand started moving again, softly caressing the smooth membranes. The dragon rumbled gently in appreciation.
"What?" she asked.
End of Part Twenty-Six
- Location
- Woodstock, IL
HA! Looks like Carol is finally getting some adorable help in overcoming her insufferableness!
Raved Thrad
Your Friendly Neighborhood Curmudgeon
- Location
- The Other Side of the Screen
Carol five minutes later: "I've been Mastered! Ancient spirits of Karenhood, transform this becalmed form into Bitchface!" *stabs hearth-dragon with plasma blade*
Riley: (sotto voce) "And I thought I was psychotic..."
YuffieK
(Verified Ninja Princess)
Because the Master of the Castle is a very wise and knowledgeable fellow?
You know, despite how much hate Carol gets for her being an emotionally abusive, closeminded, bigoted, hypocritical, cheating bi- person, it doesn't change the fact that she has been suffering from serious mental issues for over a decade. Regardless of what comeuppance she deserves for cheating on her husband, illegally invading Marquis' home, threating to murder a child, kidnapping said child, causing the murder of Fleur, and systemically emotionally neglecting and/or abusing her children, Carol deserves to have her mental illnesses treated.
