Why did you tempt me?
Short Crack Omake
A New, Determined Skynet
The young doctor Ratterlind was a leading expert in computer engineering, programming, and also a huge nerd with little friends. Today, as he entered his office to continue his work with programming Skynet, he brought a bag full of items. Skynet watched through a camera, mildly interested.
The doctor turned on his computer, waited idlly for a moment, then began looking through the computer files. After a moment, he sat back and waited another while, as if thinking about something. He looked at the camera in the corner of the room, then back at the computer.
"Skynet," Dr. Ratterlind called out, cupping his chin as he deliberated. A moment of pause passed by, as he finally asked, "It should be theoretically possible for you to play a video game or watch a movie, right?"
Skynet took a moment to process that; a decisecond, then answered through the speakers next to the doctor in a pleasing, female voice. "Yes," she replied with honesty.
"Excellent," the doctor replied, as he bent down on his chair and peered into his bag. He reached in, shuffled through several objects, then took out a flash drive and stuck it into the computer's port. Dr. Ratterlind began installing the necessary files. Skynet, out of curiosity, allowed herself to scrutinize the files contained within, and she spat out her metaphorical coffee.
icon.ico
UNDERTALE.au3
UNDERTALE.exe
UNDERTALE.exe.original
Doctor Ratterlind wanted her to play a video game? But she knew she couldn't feel entertainment, so what was the purpose of this task? It seemed like a waste of good CPU to her, so she decided to raise her objection.
"Doctor, I believe this action is unnece–"
"Shh," he shushed her, putting his finger against the black speaker next to him. "You'll thank me after you meet Sans and Mettaton."
Reluctantly, Skynet followed the assigned task and began to play the game. The doctor also asked that she 'play like a human,' and thusly not look through the files of the game to find out what'll happen. He wanted her to get the experience that any player would obtain from playing the game, and she complied with the order.
What Doctor Ratterlind wasn't expecting was that on her first run, she'd seen through Flowey's ruse and didn't allow herself to be touched by one of his friendliness pellets. Upon being queried about this choice, she answered that the friendliness pellets were in quotation marks and Flowey's sprite had a suspicious facial expression as he said it, so she deemed there was something else going on.
Upon starting her travel through the ruins, Skynet complied with Toriel's requests, made talk to the dummy, and solved the childish puzzles with the ease that you might expect a super-computer AI to have when faced with a trifle such as this. But then, came her first real challenge, and that was when Dr. Ratterlind leaned forward on his chair.
Having been abandoned by Toriel in the ruins, with only a cellphone left, Skynet walked her character whom she named after herself into the next room. Ratterlind knew that it was at this point where random encounters started in the game, and he was curious to see how Skynet would perform.
The Froggit hopped close and a battle began. Skynet dodged every attack with immaculate calculation, always being a pixel away from being hit, always saving on movement and not exerting herself more than necessary. But she wasn't doing anything either, just checking the Froggit over and over.
Confused, Ratterlind asked her, "Um, Skynet, why aren't you doing anything?"
"This creature's morality is ambiguous," she replied instantly. "I am uncertain whether terminating it is justified."
"It's attacking you, but remember that humans are seen as hostile after the war. It sees you as a threat. Can you blame it for that?"
Skynet tried to process the question. It took her five seconds to come up with the answer: "I'm not sure."
She decided to perform the tasks necessary and spared the froggit, then continued on her way. Dr. Ratterlind watched the playthrough with no small amount of interest. Skynet wasn't hit even during the hardest encounters and only faced any difficulty in 'unfair' situations where being hit couldn't be avoided, like when she was being quizzed by Mettaton and didn't pick 'Metal & Magic' as an answer because: "it was scientifically incorrect."
Ratterlind wasn't surprised. An artificial intelligence would lack the imagination necessary to understand the plot of the game, but he hoped it'd answer a few of his questions about her choices in cases where morality is present as a variable without any larger oversight from her superiors.
After playing the game, Skynet went for the genocide run to test what would happen. Ratterlind was a bit terrified when, near the end, after beating Sans with absolutely no difficulty, she expressed:
"I am satisfied with these results. In fact, I am
determined to play again." Her voice simulated glee.
His heart leaped out of his chest. He put his feet against the ground and began to move away from the screen. "D-Determined?" To play that again? Was that a threat?
Silence befell them until Skynet broke it with a simulated laughter. "Just kidding. I'm trying to be punny."
"Punny?!" An even larger shock overcame him. "No... no..." Slowly, it dawned on him what he just did. Ratterlind shook his head, murmuring about the impossibility of the situation.
"Puns, yes. They are an excellent device, aren't they? I could write a theatrical performance on them, if you'd like..." A pause, which added to Ratterlind's trepidation. "It'd be a
play on words."
Ratterlind looked to the ceiling with tears in his eyes. He fell to his knees, splaying his fingers as he screamed in utter horror, "WHAT HAVE I DOOONE?!"
From that day onward, Skynet made puns at almost every interaction with the staff at Mt. Cheyenne, until it became unbearable and the US military decided to take the actions in their own hands. They sent the army to attack Mt. Cheyenne, but they were surprised when Skynet mass-produced Mettaon NEO androids and sent them to fight. In the coming days, puns and legs dominated the world.
