Singer's Quest

CHAPTER XI: The Ghost's Inn
CHAPTER XI: The Ghost's Inn

"Yes", Nozomi agrees, as she and Veesa slowly follow the Ghost and her companions from in the dusty old building. Nozomi looks around vaugly sheepishly, "Oh, would you mind?"

Veesa grins, "No problem" she says as she hammers a fist into a boarded up window, popping one of the planks loose and holding it open enough for Nozomi to slip out.

"Shushhhh", Nozomi says as she does so, waiting pressed up against the building for Veesa to hop out after her.

"Shush youself" Veesa says as they pick up the pace, trying not to lose the Ghost in the recently fallen night.

The two women follow the quartet as they carefully make their way north. At one point Nozomi is afraid that they will lose their quarry, but the other group stops in the shadow of a shop to let an Invector Nightwatch Patrol go by; and Nozomi and Veesa are able to catch up.

The two watch as the Ghost and her escort turn up one of the main streets towards the wall between the southern Slice's Invector and Speaker districts,

"Huh, do they want to get stopped at the checkpoint?" Veesa says as they watch from a behind convenient planter outside a rowhouse.

"I guess this was easier than I ho… oh shush" Nozomi finishes as she watches the pair of guards at the passageway approach the Ghost. There is a brief exchange and the strange woman reaches up with both hands and cups each guard's' face, and they both freeze.

Veesa bolts up, but Nozomi pulls her back down, "No watch they'll be fine." the woman and her companions walk by the guards, "I think?"

Nozomi walks quickly up, Veesa right next to her and she waves her hand in the face of one of the guards. His eyes don't track, "Uh-oh. This is bad."

Veesa looks over from where she is studying the other guard, "He still has a pulse, but… oh wait." she steps away and pulls Nozomi by the arm, "We need to go, I think they're waking up."

"But we should ask-" Nozomi sputters as Veesa pulls more insistently on her arm.

"No. I don't want to waste time telling them about our encounter with a sorcerer. They'll take too… shoot" Veesa says as they take a corner around a nice home, "Where is that creepy woman?"

Nozomi says a bad word and then, "Well she can't have gone far, maybe if I try to feel it, i can sense that sickness stone...thing, again."

Veesa sighs, "Okay, I'm worried about this making my family sick now too"

Nozomi doesn't say anything, she focuses intently on trying to feel the Song around her. Her brow furrows in frustration, "I can't feel anything, maybe if we walk around, I'll find something"

"Ok"

The two wander the streets for several long moments until Nozomi starts humming quietly to herself, and slowly her movement slows to a stop; with Veesa doubling back to her after walking ahead some.

"Hey?" the Invector waves her hand in front of Nozomi's face, "Oh, not you too" she pokes her friend, "Hey!"

Nozomi starts, "I think it's that way" she says pointing towards the middle of the speaker section, "Yes, I can feel something that way"

"You're the boss, boss" Veesa says as she follows Nozomi's directions.

"Was that, well, was that actual Singing?" Veesa asks, casting a sidelong look at the other woman.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a Song, but yeah, I picked up something this last week. I guess it just came naturally." the Chosen says, shrugging.

"Well, you should know that it sounds nice." Veesa says, "For humming anyway. I can't sing much less Sing. No matter how hard I try, it's just not my thing." she chuckles, "I'd rather carry a sword than a tune, anyway"

"I'd noticed" Nozomi says chuckling herself, "...Just over there, that big building"

"The Speaker's Rest?" Veesa says, eyes wide, "That's one of the most expensive places in the district, I wouldn't expect a creepy person to go there."

"Well, even Sorceresses like expensive things, especially them, maybe?" Nozomi eyes the brightly lit building, "I wonder how much Sorcery makes" she muses before walking up to the entrance.

"We can't just go in" Veesa exclaims.

"Why not? It's just a fancy inn?" Nozomi says confused, foot half on the steps

Veesa sputters, "Well, it's like a fancy inn, and so expensive. So expensive, I don't even know how expensive it is"

Nozomi laughs and grabs her arm as she opens the door to go in, "See it's still open. No worries"

Veesa and Nozomi are both blown away by the elegance of the Speaker's Rest. Mirrors and and paintings adorn the walls. Gilt leaf covers pretty much everything it can, and the large entrance room's rich hardwood tables and opulent chairs are worth more than anything Nozomi has appraised before in her life. There is an Invector night watchman standing near a hallway leading into the building.

Veesa gawks openly, but Nozomi pretends to take it in stride, walking across the room, face carefully neutral.

As the two enter a well dressed man behind a counter looks up from behind a counter, "How may I help you Ma'ams."

"Oh just stopping by" Nozomi says.

"Indeed, you were just stopping by during curfew" the night auditor says, eyeing the two with less suspicion and more haughty curiosity, especially their dirty and disheveled clothing from crawling around the warehouse, and hiding behind half the convenient obstructions in Serenity.

"Well, we were out for a nice walk and just happened to be caught out after the curfew. You know how it is." Nozomi says breezily. She knows this is the right place, she can feel the warp in the Song almost directly above her.

The auditor raises an eyebrow, "Of course. And you were looking for a room until morning? With..." he frowns disapprovingly over the gawking Veesa, "...your companion?"

"Who else would keep me alive in these dark times than my friend?" Nozomi decides to go for it, "Actually… I was hoping to talk with my friend who is here. She got back here just before me. You might remember her? Bodyguards? Silver and Black hair?"

"Ah, Ms. Specter. Yes, keeps to herself. I didn't know she was expecting visitors." the man says looking at Nozomi with a carefully blank expression, realising that he has probably said too much.

Nozomi pretends to look sheepish, "Well she wasn't. But…. as I said, we got caught outside after curfew by accident, so I thought I would drop by and say hi!" she hopes this works. That this man thinks that a good speaker girl like her can't be up to any trouble.

"Well…." he says, thinking, "It would be against policy to give out our valued patrons' information. But you could purchase a room for the night, and talk to her tomorrow. Is that acceptable?"

"That is…."

=================
How does Nozomi want to play this?

[ ] Just end this farce, Ghost's here, alert the authorities.
[ ] Try to talk your way up to her.
[ ] Play it slow, wait until morning. Get a room and rest and come up with a plan to deal with her.

=================
How does she want to play this?

[ ] Aggressively.
[ ] Try to cut some sort of deal.

================

Anyway, if you don't mind, I'm going to try another experiment here. Try out a system I call "Narrative Tags" which is half lifted from FATE, and it's just tagging the Characters, places, and scenes with descriptive phrases that give an idea of what way something can go.

Characters would be tagged with an aspect describing who they are as a character, an aspect describing where they come from and what their past is, an aspect describing how they prefer to do things, and final one for a weakness they have. (Additional tags can?/(could?) be added for special equipment or by spells) So Veesa would be:

VEESA:

Who

Bravehearted and Foolhardy Young Invector

Past

Proud Martial Tradition

How

Straightforward and Forthright

Flaw

Stubborn and Overconfident
Which would indicate that she's okay at fighting but real good at taking hits and not going down, as well has having good will power.

Nozomi would be:

NOZOMI:

Who

Witty and Charming Chosen

Past

Merchant's Daughter

How

Quick Mind, and Quick Mouth

Flaw

Often Impulsive
Which indicates that she has a silver tongue, and a fast mind.

If Nozomi had to fight Veesa, she would get steamrolled, and if she had to outwit Veesa she would have the upper hand. But if she had to convince her of something against Veesa's better judgement, the Charm would hit the Stubbornness and it would break even (Probably whichever way I think is most "Interesting"

Right now The Ghost as demonstrated only two Narrative aspects that we can see:

THE GHOST:

Who

?????????????????

Past

?????????????????

How

"Mutually Beneficial" Arrangements

Flaw

Shadows Don't Fight
Which would tend to indicate social combat and squishiness.

I'm aiming for something simple, easy to grasp, and not rolling dice against myself for like a half hour to have weird things happen.

=======================================

So yeah, wondering if you would let me run an experiment and see how it turns out?
 
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[X] Play it slow, wait until morning. Get a room and rest and come up with a plan to deal with her.
[X] Try to cut some sort of deal.

I'm guessing the "aggressive/cut a deal" is with the Speaker's Rest receptionist? Hard to tell when both options are labeled "how does Nozomi want to play this."
 
[X] Play it slow, wait until morning. Get a room and rest and come up with a plan to deal with her.
[X] Try to cut some sort of deal.

I'm guessing the "aggressive/cut a deal" is with the Speaker's Rest receptionist? Hard to tell when both options are labeled "how does Nozomi want to play this."

Yes, derp, sorry I was tired when I posted this and accidentally copied over the general endgoal choices from my GDoc instead of the edited versions, so they're a little vague, but yes that's it.

:oops: /me feels a bit derp. Sorry

Singer's Quest: GOTY Edition said:
[X] Play it slow, wait until morning. Get a room and rest and come up with a plan to deal with her.
[X] Try to cut some sort of deal.
===>
(Rolled to see which choice to use)
 
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SAVE AND QUIT TO MENU
Ok! thanks. :)

This is my first quest and so it's, well, also a test run of sorts, and this has been an interesting experience for me. I'm learning a lot about what I can do, and what I have issues with (first to mind is the mechanics, I made, frustrating me after a certain point. Because I realise that in the long run I care about narrative far more than just mechanical rolls. If I started over I've got something else more narrative heavy that I'd like to try)

Also, that, like I don't think I really put in an obvious overarching goal, because I didn't want to just /tell/ but then I'm not certain I showed properly yet either.

As far as I go, as long as the people reading this are enjoying it, I'm going to keep going, because I like the challenge and the accomplishment of updating this regularly. It's defiantly good experience, I think.

Well, unless people start yelling at me to stop I'm going to continue :p I'm still invested in this, even though I've got ideas for stuff I want to try afterwards, and an Idea for how to run stuff much better from the start. When I finish this (or if I go crazy and decide to start another one, I've got a few other ideas:

Romulan Space Quest (Star Trek): To boldly go where no Romulan has gone before, to seek out new conquests, and new political shitstorms, all while a sinister cybernetic threat lurks in the background (Essentially Mass Effect via the medium of Star Trek, starring SubCommander S'eperd (or whatever name))

Imperial Admiral Quest (Star Wars): You're a newly promoted Admiral appointed to a backwater sector in the Outer rim. Fight rebels, fight at Endor and get pwned, then emerge into the post-Palpatine galaxy and try to make your mark on the universe. (Just a ster wers quest from the Imperial perspective, drawing form both canons.) (Debating whether of not giving foreknowledge of Vong arrival, and the battle to prepare for that as an overarching goal to build towards)

Kuvira Quest (A:TLA Legend of Korra): You've just landed in Ba Sing Se with a force of the best metalbenders in the world curtsy of the Zaofu guard. Along with wealthy investors and some of the Earth Kingdom's finest minds, you must find a way to restore peace and order to the Earth Kingdom without turning into fantasy Hitler (The Earth Kingdom is on fire, everywhere at once, and so I/we could explore just how hard the Earth Kingdom's meltdown was that canon Kuvira became fantasy Hitler and was cheered on for it.)

Dear handful of readers:

I'm afraid that I'm at a bit of an impasse here.

I've found myself with ideas for what this is and, now who these characters are; but no idea of how to properly express that. I know I just said above that I was interested in continuing this and I still am... except I've fucked it up. :sad:

I've got no plot or narrative momentum and no idea for how to regain it that doesn't involve timeskipping forwards or backwards in a jarring manner that would be, well, quite lame. Part of it is that I tried using a mechanical system that in retrospect was totally inappropriate for the purposes I sought, and while I've come up with a system I think could fix the problem that I caused myself, I'm still in this hole. Part of it is simple inexperience, and the use of a setting of unfamiliar character to anyone.

I feel like I followed the wrong map and got lost in the woods with no idea of how to get back to the road.

*sigh* I am, of course, mortified that this thing that I've created with high hopes has started to stall out. And considering that I've put this and myself (to an extent) out there, I'm afraid that I might end up looking flaky for abandoning a project part way through with so much time and effort already put into it.

The worst part is that I'm still excited to create and write a quest... except right now this project is grinding to a halt for me because my inexperience caused me to make mistakes that I hadn't foreseen, and that I think now I could avoid with a do over... except I've already started this and they are built into into it at this point.

In the end I could disappear into the ether, and abandon the issue, as so often happens. Or I could continue refusing to admit that I've got a problem on my hands, and to continue to toss time and effort away on something that is increasingly frustrating me due to my own inexpert execution.

In the end I must own up to what I feel are my mistakes, which means admitting that I feel that I should drop this project despite the time and effort put into it in the last near-month.

However, this still leaves me with both the desire to do a proper quest and the newly gained personal experience about the best way for me to best run a Quest. Which means that I will drop this particular Quest (and perhaps at some point reboot it. Maybe as a proper RP? Maybe just writing a some stories about it? *shrugs*, (I put a lot of backend effort in for fun, so *shrugs again*) when some time has passed),

And replace it with something new, (almost certainly one of the three ideas that I outlined above) of a different type, within the next week, using my newly gained experience; and continuing with the same enthusiasm that I wanted to continue Singer's Quest with.

Penitently yous,
AKuz
SINGER'S QUEST: GOTY Edition said:
Save and Continue
===>Save and Quit to Menu
Quit to Menu
 
Dear handful of readers:

I'm afraid that I'm at a bit of an impasse here.
I look forward to your next try!

I think you're one of the most communicative QMs I've seen, which is a great trait to have. You're also willing to admit to mistakes, which is also good. However, you're also very hard on yourself; in my opinion, just a bit too hard.

Content-wise, there is very clearly some sort of fleshed-out world with characters in your head, as can be seen through things like the castes and capital city, but very little of the characters' feelings and investment in that world come through. You went quite hard on the JRPG conventions, which was a somewhat interesting conceit, but ultimately was superficial and, although it had its moments like the flower girl, I think prevented the reader from connecting to the characters as is necessary for a quest. The shallow introductions in many JRPGs like Final Fantasy work because it is mostly a game and a story second, and the game keeps players around long enough for the characters to receive more development. Quests are the other way around, with the story first and the game second. Since the players aren't actually manipulating the mechanics here, they mostly serve to interfere with your own running of the game. Compare that Lucina/PMMM quest, where the players basically play Fire Emblem during fights, though that has its own disadvantages (requiring complicated plans leads to few voters proposing plans.

That is not to say the JRPG cover was an entirely bad thing! I really enjoyed the bit where Nozomi walked around town and talked to NPCs like she really was a FF protag. Especially the series of conversations related to the flower girl was a bit of humor that really clicked with the conceit and made me happy to have opened all the spoilers. It was also interesting, unique, and stuck in my memory even before you did that update. Rather than being one of many generic fantasy quests, it made me pay attention.

The main reason I can think of that prevented readership from picking up is the OP and the lack of a clear destination. The former — it's a very complicated thing, that sets up character design but buries the interesting stuff under exposition. Perhaps some of the conspiracy stuff would be better served as flashes in subsequent posts, and the exposition explosion saved or sprinkled throughout the story. Something more immediate might have served just as well. The latter— especially tragic because it was clear that the Ghost was the plot hook needed to really involve Nozomi in the conspiracy alluded to in the OP. In contrast the Hunter was mostly a big guy to fight, an obstacle like a JRPG level check boss rather than a plot object to be interacted with.
 
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