Shoulder Devil (Youjo Senki/Naruto)

Him reading what looks like porn!?

Actually a disguised book of information either about the village, or about the village's enemies. HE REALLY IS A GENIUS!!!
 
'Look underneath the underneath' will confirm everything.

I believe Kakashi will be fully aware of what's happening and take shameful advantage. Funniest reaction should be his 'comrades' who know of his coping methods wondering if the kids have the right attitude to Kakashi after all and their cynicism is miswarranted and caused lost opportunities. Guy will not, because he already believes.

Then they'll elect him Hokage not in the least because of examplary teaching motivation and teaching to teach, much to his horror. The con went too good, how awful.
 
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Oh my. Its... so on point for Tanya. She always makes these devious plans for conversations, and so always assumes the other is scheming too, and gets outmaneuvered by simple virtue of them not scheming.
 
IT BEGINS!! Sasuga Tanya~!

I can see it now! Sakura's studious nature and naivety being led around by Tanya's misunderstandings and sociopathic ruthlessness!

I have visions of Sakura rapidly developing a reputation for horrifyingly eager and violent competence.

"You say the chunin exams are meant to foster relationships between nations? Yes, of course! I understand Sensei! You want me to turn our enemies against each other! Right away Sensei!"
 
Chapter 6
This chapter commissioned by my patrons Akitsu91 and Hangwind

Chapter 6

It was late in the evening when Sakura returned home. For the last three hours, she had been carefully reconnoitering Training Ground 15, the training ground that Hatake had identified as the site of the next day's test. Now she got out pencil and paper, and started drawing as detailed a map as she could of her sensei's chosen terrain. Not that she needed a map - between her own excellent memory and Tanya's presence, it was very unlikely she would forget a thing. But maps were useful for as a visual aid when making plans. Plus, she might need it to help Sasuke. She'd seen neither of the boys at the grounds, which meant they'd probably foregone the chance to assess the territory.

"Seriously, did neither of them pay attention in class? How many times did both sensei go over the importance of scouting?" groused Tanya.

"Well, you have to admit, those lectures can be a bit boring."

"Boring?! This is literally a matter of life and death!"


Sakura mentally chuckled. She'd long since grown inured to Tanya's perfectionism. While she did her best to live up to Tanya's standards, Sakura always found it amusing how she held everyone else to the same standards irrespective of age and then grew frustrated when they failed to conform.

"If you got your body back, would you become an Academy sensei? I bet you'd be good at it." Sakura pointed out.

"Are you joking? I had to train rookies once and I almost ended up executing one! No class of brats would survive my first week."

"Well then, maybe you'll become a jounin-sensei instead."

"Becoming a jounin-sensei first requires becoming a jounin. And I don't think that's happening."


Sakura paused. She'd never really considered what Tanya would do if she got her body back, but she'd always had a vague notion of them being Konoha shinobi together. "Well, what would you do?"

"That will depend on circumstances. But I'd like a nice steady job that doesn't involve any fighting. Maybe I'll get a job at a bank or something."

"What?! But... you told me you were one of the greatest soldiers of your country! You were a combat prodigy! A hero!"

"And what did all of that get me?"
Sakura flinched at the sheer anger in Tanya's voice. "A place in the front lines of two world wars, dead before my thirtieth birthday, and my soul trapped in this thing. Trust me, if you're smart you'll take my advice and push for a medical apprenticeship at the earliest opportunity."

Tanya's presence gained a distant quality which told Sakura the woman considered the conversation ended. Not wanting to upset her further, Sakura focused on her drawing. A few minutes later, she mentally nudged the spirit. "Map's done. For tomorrow, I was thinking... full trap and forest loadout?"

Over the years, Sakura had acquired a lot of equipment at Tanya's behest. Chief among them were two small storage scrolls. They were her most expensive pieces of gear, representing over a year and three birthdays' worth of saved pocket money, and they were worth every penny. With them, she could carry enough equipment to fight a small war. Tanya had gushed over how storage scrolls revolutionized logistics, and acquiring more or learning how to make them herself were on Sakura's to-do list.

Since training ground fifteen had a large central clearing with some worn training posts and dummies, forests on the fringes and a small pond next to the clearing, traps and forest gear seemed the way to go.

Tanya roused herself, all signs of her earlier anger gone. "Toss in some underwater gear as well. We might be able to take advantage of that pond. How much rations are you carrying?"

"Rations?"

"Sakura, this is a survival exercise. Having access to food and water is basic survival!"


Sakura blushed at having forgotten such an obvious thing. "Right, a day's worth of food and water..."

"One day? Did Hatake mention a time limit?"

"Ah, no. Three days then?"

"Sounds reasonable, the test can't go on too long."


Sakura bit her lip. "That much food and water will take up a lot of space. Can we get everything else in the two scrolls and a backpack?"

"Don't worry, we'll figure it out. Your sensei will have no cause to find us under-prepared!"


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Sakura, had shown up at the training ground half an hour early, shortly after sunrise. She was now regretting it. It was over half an hour past their appointed meeting time, both her teammates were fuming, and Naruto had now started whining about being hungry.

"Seriously Naruto, why didn't you eat anything?!" Sakura snapped.

"Sensei said not to because we'd throw up!"

Sakura blinked. "Was that an order?"

"Eh?"

"Did sensei specifically order us not to eat?" asked Sakura, trying to keep the sudden worry out of her voice.

"He said we'd better not eat because we'd puke."

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, so it wasn't an order. He was just exaggerating."

"What?! He was making stuff up?"

"Kind of? I mean, maybe he will make us puke. It's still better to eat though. You can't work hard on an empty stomach, that's basic nutrition."

Sakura caught Sasuke's flinch in the corner of her eye. Turning to look at them both, she asked aghast, "Did neither of you eat breakfast?"

The tightening of Sasuke's posture was answer enough. Praying to the heavens for strength, Sakura pulled her backpack off her shoulders and dug out a pair of ration bars, tasteless nutrient-dense bricks with enough carbs to feed a civilian for an entire day... or a snack for an Akimichi.

After giving their thanks - Naruto enthusiastically and Sasuke grudgingly - the boys chewed through the dry bars with Naruto making exaggerated faces at the taste. "Why are you even carrying this stuff, Sakura?" the blond asked, chugging down half his water bottle to try and get the taste out of his mouth.

"Sensei called it survival training. Food and water is basic survival gear. As are traps, snares, camouflage gear, first aid..." Sakura trailed off as she witnessed the blank stares from the two boys. Then she finally took in the fact that both boys were just wearing their standard weapons pouches. Not even a backpack. Unless their pouches were stuffed with storage scrolls, they were woefully under-equipped compared to her.

"Huh," observed Tanya, "Maybe you'll end up passing the test by default."

"Y-you're carrying all of that?" squeaked Naruto.

"You're not?!" cried Sakura. "Sensei not only told us this was going to be a survival test with him as the opponent, he even told us where! The least you can do is prepare properly! Did either of you even bother exploring the grounds? No, don't answer, I can guess!" Sakura was wringing her hands in agitation. "I mean, what if that's why he's late? What if he's giving us this chance to prepare the training ground to our advantage? How are we going to do that if neither of you brought anything? Are you even trying to pass this test?!"

"Oh man," moaned Naruto, "What do we do? What do we do?"

Sakura took a deep breath. "Look, he was over three hours late yesterday. You guys still have some time. Get back here with whatever extra gear you have!"

"What if he comes while we're gone?" muttered Sasuke.

"Well, what do you think your chances are with whatever is just in your pockets?"

That seemed enough for both boys, as they took off at top speed.

"Not bad," mused Tanya. "Either they'll be back properly equipped, or sensei will come first and disqualify them, leaving you the automatic winner. Win-win."

"Shut up. That's not why I did it and you know it."
growled Sakura.

The next forty minutes was spent in a paroxysm of suspense. Naruto was the first one back, his arms piled high with all sorts of junk.

"What... what is all this?" asked Sakura.

"Eh, well, I didn't really have any of that stuff you said, so I brought all my pranking supplies!" said Naruto. "Oh, and look!" Setting aside the other things, he pulled out several sealed bowls. "I also picked up a dozen orders of Ichiraku's ramen for us! I didn't know what you'd like, so I got some of everything. Miso, pork, beef, chicken, vegetable..."

"That's... very nice, Naruto... but is now really time for ramen?"

"Sure! I'm still hungry! Which ones do you want?"

"Look, let's first go over your stuff and see what Sasuke brings. Then we can eat."

Sakura did her best to ignore the sound of Tanya laughing as she went over Naruto's supplies. As he had promised, there was a lot of paint and glitter. Although, there was also quite a bit of decent gear for setting up traps and tripwires. Not to mention quite a bit of flash powder, a few fireworks, lots of glue and household chemicals... "You know Naruto," mused Sakura, "Some of this stuff has promise..."

"Really?!"

"Yes, I think some of this can be used to create quite the distraction..." before Sakura could elaborate further, Sasuke reappeared.

He didn't have a large amount of stuff. All he had was half a dozen storage scrolls. "Found a lot of stuff. Put them in the scrolls," he muttered, handing them over.

"Oh! May I?"

At Sasuke's silent nod, Sakura looked at the first scroll, then blinked. "Sasuke! These are self-sorting high-capacity scrolls! Where did you get this many?" Both Sakura and Tanya had been lusting after scrolls like these once they started exploring the possibility of storage seals, but the shops charged a small fortune for each one.

"Huh? Are they that good? What do they do?" asked Naruto, peering over her shoulder.

"They hold way more stuff than regular scrolls, and if you know how, you can reach in and take only the things you want instead of having to empty the whole thing every time," explained Sakura absently. "Sasuke, you'd better open these. I've never used one, I'll end up dumping everything out of them."

Sasuke scowled at the ground. "I've never used them before either," he muttered. "Never needed to."

"Oh, I see. Well, here goes..."

As she started opening the scrolls, Sakura got the feeling Sasuke had literally grabbed anything remotely useful he could find and shoved them into the scrolls. A whole variety of weapons that she was pretty sure none of them knew how to use (but at least there were plenty of kunai and shuriken), enough ration bars to feed a small army, a store's worth of camping gear, lots of ninja wire and trapmaking kits... Sakura froze as she opened the last scroll.

One of the features of these high-quality scrolls was that they could contain other seals without destabilizing... within limits. Sasuke had definitely pushed those limits. Sakura held up the stack of inked paper the size of a very thick book and asked faintly, "Sasuke, did you really have this many high-power explosive tags lying about your home?!"

"No." the boy replied, looking away and scowling even more fiercely. After a moment, Sakura heard him say quietly, "These were in storage. From before."

"Oh." Fighting to keep the sympathy off her face (Sasuke hate pity. Sakura had figured that out a long time ago.), she studied the tags. "If they've been stored that long... yes, they're pretty much out of chakra. We'll need to recharge them. And I don't know about you, but I can only charge up a few of these without tiring myself out..." Sakura blinked and looked at Naruto, who'd been poking through the pile of goods. "Naruto, come over here and charge one of these, would you?"

"Sure thing, Sakura!"

"Right, put your chakra here... Not there! That's the arming trigger! Yes, here, that's the charging area... All right, you can stop now. How do you feel, Naruto?"

"Eh? I feel fine!"

"Not the least bit tired?"

"Nope! Why?"

Sakura sighed. "Good news, Sasuke. We can charge all of these back up. Oh, but how many of these tags do you want to use? They're pretty expensive too..."

Sasuke looked at her with determination burning in his eyes. "I don't care. I will not fail this test."

"If you're sure... Naruto, start charging these all up. Carefully! Although what we'll do with this many explosives..."

"With all the extra shuriken he brought, you could build quite a few AP mines," observed Tanya.

"What're those?"

Tanya explained the simple utility of a lot of pointy metal wrapped around high explosive. Sakura started to sweat. "Let's save that for emergencies. I'm pretty sure we're not actually supposed to kill anyone in this test..."

It only took Naruto a few minutes to charge up the stack of explosive tags, much to Sakura's envy. He didn't even look winded! By that time she'd pulled out her map, and they began to plan.

Since it was already very late, Kakashi was most likely due any minute. They all decided to only trap the most obvious approaches, and build a few different non-lethal bombs for personal use. The traps were mostly on manual triggers - only Naruto thought he could build a trap capable of tripping a jounin. Sakura didn't believe him, but for the sake of avoiding argument told him he could place a few on his own after they'd finished.

Two and a half hours after the test was due to start, and they were done. Well, not quite done. It would have taken them several more hours to saturate even this modest training ground. But at least they had a few traps spread out in the most likely places.

Satisfied that their sensei at least couldn't accuse them of slacking off completely, Sakura accepted Naruto's offer of a chicken ramen. She was also pleased to see him offer Sasuke a cup without prompting, and that Sasuke accepted it without sneering.

Filled with warm food and chatting about plans for more elaborate traps (or pranks, as Naruto insisted on calling them), it was almost a disappointment when their sensei finally showed. Just a little over three hours late.

"Oh, there you are," grumbled Naruto.

"Well you see, I got lost on the road of life."

"LIAR!"

Sakura glanced at Kakashi Hatake, and saw only amusement on his face. Well, at least he's laid back enough to joke with his subordinates.

The man glanced at the empty ramen cups stacked to one side, and said, "Well, I see you've eaten. Here's hoping you don't throw up." Then he pulled out an alarm clock, and set it down on a stump. "This alarm clock is set to go off at noon. You have until that time to get one of these bells." He held up a pair of tinkling silver bells. "Anyone without a bell at noon will be failed and sent back to the academy."

There was a moment of silence. Sakura immediately worked through the implications, and felt the bottom fall out of her stomach.

Naruto stated the obvious. "But there's only two bells!"

"Congratulations, you can count! And by the way..." The man's lackadaisical tone suddenly turned hard, and for the first time Sakura realized she was standing in front of the Kakashi Hatake. "I suggest you come at me with intent to kill. It's the only chance you've got."
 
This chapter commissioned by my patrons Akitsu91 and Hangwind

Chapter 6

"Congratulations, you can count! And by the way..." The man's lackadaisical tone suddenly turned hard, and for the first time Sakura realized she was standing in front of the Kakashi Hatake. "I suggest you come at me with intent to kill. It's the only chance you've got."

Tanya: See? All of this was a vehicle to allow us all the opportunity to prove ourselves.

Sakura: Okay. You were right.
Sakura: But... should we really? I mean, going for lethal strikes is kind of...

Tanya: War is hardly so kind. The business of ninja is death. Of course we weak students need to fight with the intent to kill, we wouldn't stand any chance if we subconsciously hold ourselves back in the slightest! Just what do you hope to accomplish with this little body fighting a full-grown veteran ninja? He is clearly telling us to cheat. He wants us to push ourselves and demonstrate everything we learned accompanied by our resolve.
Tanya: Ninja are specialist troops, not mere infantry. When I was training my own squads, being extremely selective with the few increases chance of success on the field rather than relying on unmotivated cannon fodder. Those who do not give their one-hundred percent into the test are guaranteed to fail!

Sakura: Right! I won't fail this practical exam!
Sakura: Shannaro!
 
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Now ia the chance to pray for Tanya and unleash an explosive everything.

As Tanya would.
 
Chapter 7
A\N: This extra long-update courtesy the combined commissions of Hangwind and The Human.

A\N 2: I was reading the earliest Naruto chapters as research. Ah, those were the good old days. When Naruto understood tactics, Sasuke understood subtlety, and Sakura... alright, she was pretty damn useless.


Chapter 7

"Well, what are you waiting for? The exam has already begun."

Kakashi's words knocked Sakura out of her stupor. Without even thinking about it, she was leaping for the cover of the woodline. When faced with a superior opponent, retreat to cover. That was basic shinobi tactics, taught by the academy and emphasized by Tanya.

However, Sakura knew she couldn't go too far into the forest. Kakashi was a superior shinobi, which likely meant he could conceal himself far better than her if he should choose to hide. Determined not to let their sensei break line of sight, Sakura peered back after ducking behind a tree.

"I'M READY! LET'S FIGHT!!"

"Is he crazy?" "Is he crazy?"

At any other time, the sudden synchronicity with Tanya might have been amusing, but right now they were both wondering why on earth Naruto thought he could take on Kakashi all by himself.

Without even thinking about it, Sakura started up the mental acceleration technique Tanya had taught her so as to give herself more time to confer with her spiritual advisor.

"While going all out right from the start has tactical merit given the superiority of our opponent, he has no chance on his own," opined Tanya.

"Exactly! Besides, why the hell did we go to the trouble of setting up all those traps if he's just going to fight in the open?!" Sakura shouted into her mind.

"It doesn't matter. The question is how are you going to take advantage of this?"

"Well, Naruto seems to be getting ready to fight hand to hand… but his taijutsu sucks!"

"True. Which probably means he'll soon get frustrated and try something else. And his two best tricks would be the mass clone thing… and his Centrefold technique."

"Stop calling it that, it's just a naked transformation,"
grumbled Sakura. "And it's not like he can use those to beat a jounin."

"To beat him? No. To distract him, however…"


Sakura caught on immediately. "That could be our chance!"

"By ourselves?"
asked Tanya.

"No… but with Sasuke's help we might be able to get the bells. Shit, we need to coordinate with him! Where is he?"

Looking around frantically, Sakura eventually managed to spot Sasuke a short distance away, perched in a tree. Glancing back at the clearing, she saw Naruto frantically flailing away at Kakashi while the jounin taunted him by reading a book and dodging all his attacks at the same time.

Realizing it was only a matter of time before Naruto grew desperate enough to try some of his techniques, Sakura forwent stealth for speed, finding herself sharing Sasuke's perch in a matter of seconds.

"What are you doing?" hissed Sasuke furiously.

"Telling you to get ready. Naruto's going to make a big distraction soon, and when he does we'll both attack."

"What - how do you know?"

"I know, just trust me a little! I'm getting into position." Sakura felt guilty about being so short with Sasuke, but there simply wasn't time to explain. She needed to get to a different position so she and Sasuke could attack from different angles.

Another twenty seconds of tree-hopping, and she'd reached a position from which she and Sasuke could pincer Kakashi. And not a moment too soon. Naruto had just been hurled face down in a squealing heap after…"Did sensei just kancho Naruto?!"

"So that idiotic game still exists… I guess Kakashi really is just playing around,"
mused Tanya.

"Look! Naruto's going for a ninjutsu! This is it!"

Sure enough, Naruto was back up and shouting at Kakashi. "You think that's funny?! Well, take this! Clone technique!"

There was a veritable explosion of chakra smoke, and then the entire clearing was covered in a sea of orange. Large sections of the clone population were obviously deformed and dispersed instantly into puffs of smoke, adding to the haze, even as the healthy ones (still numbering in the dozens) all leaped at Kakashi at the same time.

Sakura joined the rush, a rapid transformation turning her into yet another Naruto clone, hoping to use the cover to launch her own assault. There was however one problem with this plan.
"EHH? Where'd he go?!" shouted Naruto. When the smoke from the first wave of clones dispersed, Kakashi was gone. There still were at least thirty Naruto clones of varying levels of quality scattered around the clearing. The real Naruto was obvious, since it was the only one talking and looking around. The others were all milling around silently as uncontrolled clones were wont to do.

"He's here somewhere! Hide!" came the urgent message from Tanya.

Sakura immediately dropped into the lackadaisical attitude of a mindless clone, even as Naruto searched frantically for their sensei.

"We need to spot him before he spots us," thought Sakura, rapidly glancing at the clones' feet looking for telltale movements in the grass while also straining her still rudimentary chakra sense. As she looked around, a glint of metal caught her eye - a brace of shuriken, screaming in from the side.

Sakura's heart rate spiked and almost leaped to the side, before realizing the shuriken were aimed at a spot just behind her.

There was no conscious decision. As soon as her brain processed that last detail, her body was moving. Her leg swung around in a low roundhouse kick, every single gram of physical reinforcement hastening the strike.

THUD!

Through the haze from dispersing transformations, Sakura stood revealed with her leg stopped by Kakashi's own. At the same time, the man's left hand was in the air, the two thrown shuriken now spinning around his fingers.

For a moment, the tableau stood. Then things got very busy.

Sasuke charged in, kunai drawn, Naruto and his remaining clones screamed in, and Sakura focused on dodging the shuriken that Kakashi lazily flicked at her.

Within a matter of seconds, Sakura realized just how badly outclassed they were. Even Sasuke blowing out a fireball barely slowed the man down. Sakura herself tried her best, but even redirecting her momentum in midair using the bastardized flight technique only got her fingertips to one of the bells the first time. Subsequent attempts were immediately spotted and countered. As for Naruto, the hyperactive blonde made for a very loud distraction, but unfortunately that quality cut both ways.

As Sakura was forced to break off when Kakashi redirected Naruto into her path for the third time, their sensei spoke up in a conversational tone, "So, I take it the three of you have already decided which one of you gets sent back to the academy?"

"Duh! It's obviously the bastard!" shouted Naruto.

Their offensive screeched to a halt as Sasuke turned towards the blonde. "If anyone's going back it's you, dead-last!"

"Yeah?! Who's gonna make me, duck-butt?"

"You're obviously the most useless one here! You almost got yourself killed jumping in front of my technique!"

"Oi, you're the one trying to set fire to people! And Sakura's the only one who's even touched the bells! You've been just as useless as me, so there!"

As their impromptu alliance fell apart, Sakura caught the amused glint in the jounin's eye. "That jerk's trying to pull us apart!" she mentally seethed.

"Actually, I think he's succeeding," came the unwelcome observation. "Better discipline your troops quickly, Sakura."

It should be said that even with all her Tanya-instilled self-confidence, Sakura didn't really like putting herself forward. She wouldn't let anyone push her around, but given a choice was perfectly happy to keep her head down. But the situation was dire, so girding herself, she stepped forward right in between the two boys.

"This isn't working. Fall back to the forest. Now!" she barked.

Seeing incipient protests from both, she cut them off, "We couldn't take him together. Think any of you can take him without my help? Fall back."

Not waiting to hear their response, Sakura fled for the trees. For a long moment, she thought she'd made a mistake. Then came the sound of following footsteps and she breathed a sigh of relief.

She led them close to one of their booby-trapped zones, a trail that cut through the forested section. Soon the boys joined her in concealment under a shrub.

Naruto, naturally, was the first to give voice. "Why'd we leave?! We need to kick that guy's butt!"

"Agreed, but why do it out there, when we took so much trouble setting up traps in here?" replied Sakura softly. Then she raised an eyebrow. "Did you forget?"

Judging by the sudden sheepishness on Naruto's face, yes, he had forgotten. Sasuke scoffed. "Why are we even bothering with the idiot? He's just going to give us away, and there's only two bells."

Seeing a fight about to start, Sakura cut in, "Actually, there are no bells."

"Huh?!" Sasuke was silent but his expression clearly echoed Naruto's exclamation.

Sakura took a deep breath as she mentally rearranged some of the lessons Tanya gave her on what she called 'logical fallacies'. Particularly the pitfalls of making false assumptions.

"Right now, both the bells are with Kakashi. The three of us have zero bells, so zero of us are passing." Naruto's face seemed to enter a permanent state of befuddlement, but Sasuke had a gleam of understanding in his eye.

Sakura continued, "Until we get the bells away from him, there's no point arguing about who's getting what."

Seeing the mulish looks on the boys' faces, she pressed her case. "Think about it, which is easier, getting a bell away from each other, or from an elite jounin?"

"Each other," muttered Sasuke.

"Exactly. So let's promise to work together until we've got the bells. Afterwards… it'll be between us."

"Well done, Sakura. With how much they hate each other, just drop a bell between them and they won't even think about coming after yours," gloated Tanya. Her voice turned sly, "That can even work with just one bell. Let them fight it out and backstab the winner."

Sakura felt a little ashamed, but consoled herself that as long as they got both bells, she and Sasuke were guaranteed to pass. Sorry, Naruto. But I don't see you beating Sasuke, and I'm not giving you mine.

The boys had been glaring at each other for some seconds. Finally, Sasuke grudgingly nodded. "Agreed. Just don't get in my way, idiot."

"Same to you, bastard."

"Great, so we're working together to get the bells? Alright, then the first thing, we need to lure sensei into our trap zones. And then..."

"Then, splat!" whispered Naruto enthusiastically.

"No," Sakura shook her head. "We've already seen how good sensei is. I really doubt he's going to be nice enough just to stand still and get hit."

"Use the traps as a distraction to get the bells?" muttered Sasuke.

"Call that Plan A," agreed Sakura. "But if that doesn't work, then we'll lure him into a trap he can't simply shrug off." Her voice grew serious. "We need to be very careful though. A trap good enough to take down a jounin... might, no, it will kill us if we get careless. As soon as the signal is given, anyone near him has to run away. At once!"

Naruto's eyes had gone round in his head. "Sakura... w-what trap would that be...?" he asked in an awed whisper.

"One involving shuriken, camouflage, and quite a few of those explosive notes."

Even as she spoke, Sakura was also reaching out to Tanya. "Tanya...tell me more about these… claymores."

In the end, getting Kakashi to follow them into the woods proved surprisingly easy. So easy, Tanya was convinced the man was playing along. "This is good news," the spirit said. "It means he's giving us a chance to pass."

Sakura was struck by worry. "If he's going easy… do you think we should…"

"He did tell us to try to kill him. Besides, he's wearing a flak jacket. He'll be fine… well, he'll live unless he gets really unlucky."

Even with Kakashi going easy on them, the fighting was far from easy. He kept throwing out taunts trying to disrupt their teamwork, he was using substitution to get out of the few traps they managed to get him in, and he seemed to take unholy glee in grabbing and throwing them into Naruto's pranks. It took forever to get glitter out of hair! That little incident alone went a long way in bolstering Sakura's desire to bring that smug jerk down a peg or ten.

Much as Sakura had expected, none of the traps ever came close to inconveniencing the jounin. They might have if they had included explosive notes, but Sakura had ordered all the explosives removed from every trap except the big one. No need to tip Kakashi off beforehand that his students had access to gear a bit beyond recommended for fresh academy graduates.

All this sound and fury had but one purpose… get Kakashi close to the east side of one particular tree. The tree's surface, from a height of one foot up to about five feet, was covered with Sasuke's explosive notes, pinned in place by shuriken. As soon as one note was set off, the rest would go up in sympathetic detonation. The entire trap was concealed under one of Naruto's camouflage cloaks. Not that Sakura was relying just on the cloak. She'd used one of the fruits of her many years under Tanya, the ability to cast optical illusions, to perfect the disguise. Since optical illusions were a real chakra construct, much like the transformation technique, it was to be hoped that Kakashi wouldn't notice until it was much too late.

Keeping up the illusion had definitely reduced her combat ability, but hopefully Kakashi would just think she was getting tired. Finally, when she got knocked back one more time, she used the force to roll next to the tree. Kakashi was in place. Placing her hands on the tags, she focused her chakra sense on the seal's inner workings. A moment of concentration, and the tags were on a three-second countdown.

"NOW!" she screamed.

Two seconds.

The boys broke off in desperate runs. Sakura threw herself flat and covered her ears.

One second.

The tags let out a loud hiss. Kakashi's eye went wide.

Detonation.

Explosive tags were, sadly, omnidirectional. Even though they had chosen the sturdiest tree they could to act as a backstop, most of the blast was still directed off to the sides, much to Sakura's discomfort. Thankfully, internal chakra reinforcement meant ninja simply weren't as badly affected as civilians by blunt force. This was also why explosive tags were mostly useless against them in open terrain. Piercing damage, on the other hand, usually worked quite well.

Fighting through the ringing in her ears, Sakura made a mental note to develop directional explosive tags. As soon as she learned how to make regular ones. Because that was honestly kind of cool. Then she looked up, and the bottom fell out of her stomach.

Her sensei was swaying, body and throat pierced by metal shrapnel. His flak jacket was shredded, clearly unable to handle the force behind the fragments. Before her horrified eyes, the man collapsed into a pool of blood. Naruto and Sasuke came in sight. Naruto was shouting something, Sasuke was pale and trembling. From Tanya came a whispered "Shit".

Sakura was paralyzed. The world slowed. Slower and slower, as Sakura frantically tried to give herself time to think. And as the world slowed, her sensei's body… glitched.

Sakura's breath stopped. She looked closer, the Type 95 vibrating as she pushed her mental enhancement to the limit. And as her senses sharpened to painful levels, the body started looking duller. Washed out. Woody.

"GENJUTSU!" Sakura screamed.

In her head, Tanya was talking fast. "Sakura, your magic sense!"

The ability to sense chakra (or magic as Tanya still called it) was one of the first things Tanya had tried to teach her, but also one of the hardest. She could sense it fine, but understanding what she sensed, separating the signals...that was a work in progress. Out here, though, there were just the four of them.

Sasuke's small steady flame. Naruto's blinding sun-like prominence. And finally, the steady, controlled, surprisingly small feel that she didn't recognize…

"Underground!"

Sakura leaped into the air, but Kakashi's leap out of the ground much faster. A hand closed around her ankle, and then she was flying to slam into Sasuke, both of them going down in a tangle of limbs.

Then they were slammed again, this time by Naruto's body.

Before any of them could get their bearings, loops of shinobi wire had wrapped tight, trapping all three of the genin against each other. "So..so fast," Sakura could only think in wonder. It was a testament to just how much Kakashi Hatake had been holding back.

"I'm glad to see you all had the right attitude," came their sensei's cheerful voice. "But you took way too long. If you listen carefully…" From far away came the faint sound of an alarm clock. Sakura felt like crying. After all that…She could feel the rage emanating from Sasuke, and poor Naruto curling up in a ball of failure.

Their sensei was still talking. "It's probably for the best. You lot were getting pretty dangerous back there. And none of you got the bells. So under the circumstances, I have no choice but to let you all… Pass!"

…."WHAT?!"
 
and Sakura... alright, she was pretty damn useless


So much wasted talent. Why Kakashi is comparable to Snape, doesn't matter how good they are if they're complete waste of space as teachers.
Then, it's also par for the course since no females in Naruto are allowed to be good fighters, and absolutely not in any kind of "real" fighting ability. One of the reasons why i stopped watching and just stuck to fanfics.
 
I completely forgot this was a commission fic and just thought that the author stopped writing.

Uh.

Well, get paying people who aren't me! I'm being frugal at the moment, necessity really.
 
......Well if there are any of those millionaires watching this thread do your part!

I don't think Kakashi was expecting the claymore from his cute little genin. I mean if they were jonin or even chunin maybe he'd plan against it, but not the preteen brats.
 
So how does someone go about commissioning a chapter anyway? Is it that cold steel/velvet iron patron thing?

Also is that reward a one time thing or do you get a chapter each month you pay?
 
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Each month you pay buys a chapter. Or you could pay the lower amount as well. This chapter was the combined word count from two commissioners. I know a lot of people want more regular updates, but I already have one primary fic. The rest get updated by commission, or once a month or so.

Just please be aware that the closer you link commercial activity/"profit" to your writing the greater at risk you are for the copyright holders to act against you(or even feel that they must act). Fanfiction is generally left alone specifically because it is NOT commercial in any way, while specific commissions means it outright becomes "commercial activity" due to the direct link.
 
Chapter 8 - Interlude: Kakashi Hatake
Short commission courtesy The Human

Chapter 8 - Interlude: Kakashi Hatake

Kakashi knew he was a failure of a human being. It was why he had always felt a little burst of relief every time the genin team assigned to him failed to see through the bell test. He could then reject them with a clear conscience. It was a better fate than being subject to the dubious protection of a man who had failed every single person he had ever cared for.

It was also why he had been so extremely conflicted when his sensei's son and his teammate Obito's last surviving kin were assigned to him.

Part of him wanted absolutely nothing to do with them. Let them go to some other sensei. Then he wouldn't have to look at the living remnants of his own failures on a daily basis. And if the worst should happen and they should die, at least it wouldn't be his fault. Whoever said that it's better to try and fail than never try at all had no clue what he was talking about.

Another part though, that hard core of stubborn optimism (that Obito and Minato and Rin had managed to implant in him without his noticing), the same optimism that let him get out of bed in the morning, the optimism that maybe, if he kept living long enough, things just might get better - that same optimism made him wish to take the challenge. Made him want to prove - to himself, to his dearly departed, to fate itself - that he wasn't a failure. That he could live up to the ideals that his teachers and teammates had lived and died by.

He'd done his homework. He'd read their records, and looked in on the two of them in the days leading in to team assignments. The cold and talented Sasuke and the optimistic goofball Naruto, it was like looking at a mirrored image of him and Obito. Oh, he was intellectually aware that there were plenty of differences as well, but there was no denying the strange twisting knot in his chest as he watched them go about their day. All they needed was a responsible kunoichi like Rin to keep the peace between them, and it would be his Team 7 all over again.

It was that last bit that had left him feeling unsettled.

It was perhaps embarrassing to admit, but he'd been so focused on Sasuke and Naruto that he hadn't actually paid any attention to the third member at all. Oh, he'd skimmed Sakura Haruno's academy record, but while her scores had been as high as you'd expect from the top kunoichi of the year, nothing had jumped out at him. So walking into the room and finding her engaged in a push-up contest with the boys had thrown him off his stride. That hadn't been Rin-like at all.

Watching her interactions as he pretended to leave them waiting on the morning of the test had further increased that feeling of dissonance. Much like Rin, she'd played the peace-maker between the conflicting personalities of her teammates. But unlike Rin, she'd done it from the front, leading them rather than helping them. He'd pegged Sasuke as the leader, much like he himself had been. Yet when push came to shove Sakura had quickly commandeered the boys through sheer force of personality.

Kakashi had thought her little power play would fall apart once he laid out the conditions of the test. But even then, she'd managed to browbeat Sasuke into joining her in helping Naruto, and then forced both boys into retreating when it was clear their first assault had failed.

As he'd stood there in the field giving his students time to set up their little traps, he'd been doing nothing but mulling over the enigmatic Sakura Haruno. It hadn't escaped his notice that she possessed some bastardized form of the Body Flicker. And while the rest of her repertoire seemed strictly academy level, there was a smoothness to her movements that reminded him of... well, himself. Few were the fresh genin, even from clans, that would take the trouble to polish their basics to such a high level.

What had stood out even more than her physical abilities though, was the way she'd led the boys around by the nose. Charismatic children were hardly uncommon. But there was something almost learned about the way Sakura had manipulated her teammates. It honestly put Kakashi in mind of children trained by the Yamanaka, the Kotori, and other clans who went in for the more social side of shinobi work.

And then there had been the final trap she'd sprung on him. Over the years, a few of the genin Kakashi had tested had taken him up on the offer to try and kill him. But all those efforts had been products of frustration and anger. This was the first time a genin had set out to murder him with malice aforethought.

Kakashi hated to admit it, but he had gotten curious. Curiosity was his one personality trait that had remained unchanged over the years. In his youth it had applied to ninjutsu, now it applied to people. Even as he stood in the Hokage's office waiting to be called upon, he continued to turn over in his mind how an earth a non-clan genin could exhibit so many traits usually reserved for children from the more extreme clans.

In fact, so engrossed was he in his thoughts, that he had delayed his reply to the Hokage's question. Rather than reveal his own preoccupation, he gave out a bored, "Hmm? You said something?"

The Hokage gave a long-suffering sigh. "I said, the results for Team 7?"

"Oh. They pass."

Kakashi ignored the exclamations of surprise and curiosity. Unfortunately, he couldn't ignore the Hokage as the old man said, "Oh? How surprising. And what did you think of your new students."

"Sasuke's a talented loner, Naruto's tough but undisciplined. They both have potential." As he'd expected, those were the two the Hokage wanted to know about. The old man seemed satisfied.

Unfortunately, Yuhi Kurenai had a chip on her shoulder about kunoichi not being taken seriously, and wasn't about to let him get away with glossing over his third member. "And the kunoichi?"

Seeing no way to refuse answering without looking suspicious, he said, "Sakura Haruno. She..."

...is a trained manipulator, an innovative technique user, and possibly a natural born killer...

...has gotten me curious...

...is the real reason I passed this team, and not the two boys I'm supposed to care about...


"...has good basics and seems to get along with the boys. She'll do."
 
I liked this little POV change. I can only hope that people commission more of those, since my broke ass can't afford it!
 
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