- Location
- California Conservation Corps
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Not really, I'm mostly just happy we get these
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SHIELD maiden (Worm/Marvel/Kancolle)
- Thread starter Lunaryon
- Start date
- Location
- Australia
Was wondering if anyone else would mention the Bullis! Akashi is a lazy kitty, unless you give her shinies. Also, Carol Danvers? Sooo either Taylor makes a trip to Earth... 616 or w/e, or Bet gets a visit from Captain Marvel... who decides to stay and help Taylor? Be Taylor's Commander? Either way Captain Marvel on Bet is kind of a big deal. Also... spaceship girls..
ALSO STOP TALKING ABOUT HISTORICAL REVISIONISM IT HAS NO PLACE HERE.
That's not... completely out of the question, actually.
As a general rule, I like the designs of Victory Belles best, followed by Azure Lane's, followed by KanColle's.
Actually... I'm not super fond of many of KanColle's designs... Part of that is admittedly the art work, but Azure Lane's designs much better match the idea of these ships being the spirits of ships returned, instead of Japanese School girl's wearing rigging.
Also the German's Shark theme is just fucking cool.
Examples -
"Captain, permission to use appalling foul language?"
"Although Bulldog is the youngest among the B-class, but the one who obtained the Enigma machine and codebooks, destroyed submarines and signed the surrender treaty, is me. If the Commander isn't stupid, then he should know how much value these hold."
Then there are the Germans - I mean the Iron Blood
This is one place where I will flat out admit that I prefer the style that Azur Lane has even over Victory Belles.
Then you have Warship Girls which does "I can't believe nots not Kancolle" better than Kancolle for most. Not all, but most.
Hyruu
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net...c/Hiryu.png/revision/latest?cb=20160315174647
Though I gotta say, I don't like the german girls looking automatically like abyssals.
Hecatonchires
Just an H-class cyborg with an octopus brain stem
- Location
- The Gong, NSW, Australia
Duplicated, remove
Missing word. Battle/struggle/challenge?
Update on story development
Lunaryon
Dual Aurora Wave
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So while I was working on the chapter, I have also been working on planning things as they go ahead from here and the like...
And I've realized that how these first couple of chapters have sort of ended up shooting me in the foot.
A major part of it is how I decided to try and rush to the point where Taylor was a shipgirl and trying to get all the factions on the board as quickly as possible because that was the bit that intriuged me the most...
but if I want the Atlanteans and the Abyssals to be more than just flat characters, then they need more screen time then how everything is currently set up... because I need all of that screen time for Taylor and showing how what has happened has effected her.
Which means that I need basically scrap the chapters I have, because this will involve making several edits to the timeline - first and foremost having the Abyssal threat begin earlier...
It's probably going to be something like a week or two while I fiddle with the timeline I have set up, and work on fixing the pacing...
Just thought that you guys should be kept up to date on what's going on.
This time will also give me the time to reexamine what I'm planning on several other plot threads as well...
And I've realized that how these first couple of chapters have sort of ended up shooting me in the foot.
A major part of it is how I decided to try and rush to the point where Taylor was a shipgirl and trying to get all the factions on the board as quickly as possible because that was the bit that intriuged me the most...
but if I want the Atlanteans and the Abyssals to be more than just flat characters, then they need more screen time then how everything is currently set up... because I need all of that screen time for Taylor and showing how what has happened has effected her.
Which means that I need basically scrap the chapters I have, because this will involve making several edits to the timeline - first and foremost having the Abyssal threat begin earlier...
It's probably going to be something like a week or two while I fiddle with the timeline I have set up, and work on fixing the pacing...
Just thought that you guys should be kept up to date on what's going on.
This time will also give me the time to reexamine what I'm planning on several other plot threads as well...
- Location
- Around
Stop shooting yourself in the foot! We have enough bills as it is, don't add hospital bills to it.
holyknight
Coronel Obvious
More sooner than later.
Although think about DANNY's twitching as Taylor goes from her old looks in a eyeblink into the ones that remind him painfully of Annette...... And to start asking for his contacts if someone can get him a Tinkertech Shotgun with Infinite Ammunition.. Because the sheer Lewd comments on Taylor would skyrocket as she goes into Supermodel looks in a few months....
KhazintheDark
May or may not be insane...
- Location
- Not where you are. Probably.
It's (im)patiently.
- Location
- Missouri
No, it's Imp Aisha La(-born).
holyknight
Coronel Obvious
In another unrelated field, WHAT unofficial/Official role would play Taylor as the biggest and most powerful American Shipgirl?
Once the Abyssals start attacking, i think that she's going to be initially based on Norfolk, specially if she becomes the key factor that breaks an Air Raid against Washington DC.
The Navy would be desperate to keep her in Norfolk, specially as she is the ONLY unit that can uplink with the US NAVY's more advanced Missile and Sat/GPS guided weapons, enabling these weapons to SEE the Abyssals and be effective.
If the situation in Summoning American Shipgirls is like Canon, Taylor would be the main bulwark that held the Abyssals at bay in the Atlantic while the Americans were building and refining their Summoning Chambers.
Wouldn't be rare that out of her hearing and systems, all CAG and pilots that were assigned to defend the East Coast of the United States, and specially the ones who are assigned to act as Guards for her would have been told clearly that she COULDN'T fall at ANY COST, wordlessly said that if it was needed they would shield her with their very lives if it meant to stop Kamikaze attacks against her once she is identified as the main reason why the East Coast is repelling successfully the attacks....
Once the Abyssals start attacking, i think that she's going to be initially based on Norfolk, specially if she becomes the key factor that breaks an Air Raid against Washington DC.
The Navy would be desperate to keep her in Norfolk, specially as she is the ONLY unit that can uplink with the US NAVY's more advanced Missile and Sat/GPS guided weapons, enabling these weapons to SEE the Abyssals and be effective.
If the situation in Summoning American Shipgirls is like Canon, Taylor would be the main bulwark that held the Abyssals at bay in the Atlantic while the Americans were building and refining their Summoning Chambers.
Wouldn't be rare that out of her hearing and systems, all CAG and pilots that were assigned to defend the East Coast of the United States, and specially the ones who are assigned to act as Guards for her would have been told clearly that she COULDN'T fall at ANY COST, wordlessly said that if it was needed they would shield her with their very lives if it meant to stop Kamikaze attacks against her once she is identified as the main reason why the East Coast is repelling successfully the attacks....
- Location
- San Diego
Taylor would probably be either take the role of Nagato, acting as the ship to hand out marching orders, or will be a quick reaction unit, and forward deployed in the Atlantic Area of Operations.
- Location
- United States
...And everyone forgets that she is first a 15 year old girl before she is a Kancolle Ship Girl. And I bet it will be sometime before she even fights Abyssals.
Plus she first need to figure out how to even use her Insight Helicarrier Rig in the first place before she gets into any fight with parahumans much less Abyssal's.
And that all of her weapons are Hyper lethal to humans. I think only Alexandria (excluding Scion and the Endbringers) can survives a Full barrage from Taylor's Insight Rig.
Plus she first need to figure out how to even use her Insight Helicarrier Rig in the first place before she gets into any fight with parahumans much less Abyssal's.
And that all of her weapons are Hyper lethal to humans. I think only Alexandria (excluding Scion and the Endbringers) can survives a Full barrage from Taylor's Insight Rig.
- Location
- USA
I kind of wonder how effective capes will be on Abyssals. Obviously capes like the Triumvirate will be able to smack down anything short of a princess, but what about weaker (comparitively) Protectorate capes like Assault or Chevalier. Will Master and Thinker abilities work on Abyssals?
Edit: on a similar note, do the Atlanteans also have parahumans?
Edit: on a similar note, do the Atlanteans also have parahumans?
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Lunaryon
Dual Aurora Wave
- Pronouns
- She/Her
*raises finger*
...
*lowers finger, starts jotting in notes*
- Location
- Missouri
I'll take that as a "They do now!"
Can't wait to see what that looks like.
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- Location
- USA
He could also be coming up with a compelling reason for the entities to ignore them.
Edit: He also has to consider the fact that, unless there's something blocking Atlantis from the entities sight, Contessa can and will break them. The Abyss has the benefit of being super spoopy so they are probably Path-proof. So are shipgirls come to think of it, which is going to eventually limit Contessas ability to influence Bet as everyone starts reacting to all the magic shit.
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I found a song that really seems to show the possible mindset of a space shuttle girl.
- Location
- Outside the Box
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I really don't want to harp on about this, but one of my pet peeves with fanfic is what I call the "prologue mishmash". An entire chapter with not just one, but multiple ominous introductions for parts of a story that won't actually show up on-screen for a very long time. (Assuming the fic in question even lasts long enough.) Plenty of stories use some kind of vague preview that relates to the underlying themes and/or mysteries of the story, but the prologue mishmash is a smorgasbord of vaguely-interesting ideas crammed into a tiny little space. (I've seen it in proper publishd novels too sometimes, but I usually drop those before buying/library-ing them.) Personally I think it's better to encounter factions and worldbuilding as the protagonist meets them, or keep worldbuilding chapters mid-story after the protag has moved through a few story beats first. But since I'm not giving actual writing advice here, do whatever floats your boat.
So... keeping it short, I'm really glad you're redoing these parts of your story. This is an intriguing idea and I know you're a capable writer who can write some really fun stuff.
Lunaryon
Dual Aurora Wave
- Pronouns
- She/Her
The thing there is pre-rewrite I was planning on finishing the first day with Taylor - then drop all the different factions on her head one after another in a deluge of 24 hours of pain, before returning to slightly less overwhelming storylines.
I am going to spread it out a little and give Taylor more time to get introduced to the city before dumping pain on her.
- Location
- USA
...Yeah let's not go full "being Taylor is Suffering" on day one when Kancolle is in large part about the fluff. We need some shenanigans before we start getting into all the imminent suck that will be the Abyssal-Atlantean war.
On another note, will the Abyssals have ground troops like in some stories or just ships and planes?
- Location
- Europe
Well, while I wait until the next chapter, how about a suggestion for a alternative (omake) storyline?
Take Worm canon, let Contessa her two shots kill Taylor.
Suddenly she´s called back to action, the thing you would need to figure out would be how her shard it´s status is at that time and how it´s control is configured.
Also if it´s the basic bug control, if the bugs stay bugs or become something more (Omake potential).
And then there is the question of if she can store them inside her, while still controlling them, think of all the bug related products she could outfit her fairies with, then???
As for a possible location, what about Pearl?
In terms of rigging, until she goes for a flight, I bet she would look like a modern supercarrier shipgirl, so that should shock quite a few folks, on all sides, who already are shocked by her modern looks.
And that is something that would also go for the main story.
I do wonder if she has a Jarvis (summoning copy) on her main computer or not.
If she does, then she can have quite a bit of fun, especially if she also has a full Shield tech database.
But I think for a Omake, you can better use the Shield Carrier from "Advengers The Movie", that would give Tony Stark & Jarvis for sure.
Another potential Omake, in which she ain´t a helicarrier, would be "A League Of Extra-ordinary Gentlemen" it´s Nautilus, I´m sure you can see how that particular brand of chaos, would effecting things.
But depending on things, one thing that you might want to consider in the main story, are her blueprints and those of her planes.
Just her main ARC reactor itself could alter things for BB and the Dockworkers Union, let alone for herself & her father their monetary situation.
The full sets of blueprints could not only bring live to the few dockyards in BB, but also give the US Navy a way to be important during cape fights, by being able to provide a relative save, mobile base camp for everybody.
But what ever you do, Squeeler would both love her & hate her, same for Chariot, what with that transportation focus of his.
I do think Scion would not like her, though, since I bet she has nuclear weapons on board of herself, that get restocked by eating. (Why do I sense a perverse kids game {No, Yes, No, Yes, No}, there, that might end with a {very} angry Scion???)
Take Worm canon, let Contessa her two shots kill Taylor.
Suddenly she´s called back to action, the thing you would need to figure out would be how her shard it´s status is at that time and how it´s control is configured.
Also if it´s the basic bug control, if the bugs stay bugs or become something more (Omake potential).
And then there is the question of if she can store them inside her, while still controlling them, think of all the bug related products she could outfit her fairies with, then???
As for a possible location, what about Pearl?
In terms of rigging, until she goes for a flight, I bet she would look like a modern supercarrier shipgirl, so that should shock quite a few folks, on all sides, who already are shocked by her modern looks.
And that is something that would also go for the main story.
I do wonder if she has a Jarvis (summoning copy) on her main computer or not.
If she does, then she can have quite a bit of fun, especially if she also has a full Shield tech database.
But I think for a Omake, you can better use the Shield Carrier from "Advengers The Movie", that would give Tony Stark & Jarvis for sure.
Another potential Omake, in which she ain´t a helicarrier, would be "A League Of Extra-ordinary Gentlemen" it´s Nautilus, I´m sure you can see how that particular brand of chaos, would effecting things.
But depending on things, one thing that you might want to consider in the main story, are her blueprints and those of her planes.
Just her main ARC reactor itself could alter things for BB and the Dockworkers Union, let alone for herself & her father their monetary situation.
The full sets of blueprints could not only bring live to the few dockyards in BB, but also give the US Navy a way to be important during cape fights, by being able to provide a relative save, mobile base camp for everybody.
But what ever you do, Squeeler would both love her & hate her, same for Chariot, what with that transportation focus of his.
I do think Scion would not like her, though, since I bet she has nuclear weapons on board of herself, that get restocked by eating. (Why do I sense a perverse kids game {No, Yes, No, Yes, No}, there, that might end with a {very} angry Scion???)