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Seattle Road (Portal Travel, SI)

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I don't understand at all what's going on. Explain to me: what is the point of traveling along the chain for the main character? What is the ultimate goal behind constantly raking in mountains of benefits and technologies? Where is his endgame?
Sorry in advance for the harsh words, but this is completely pointless. The character does random things, goes to random places for some crap that he suddenly needs... and that's it. I just can't get invested in this story. There is, as funny as it may be, too little humanity in her, there are no ways to highlight anything. Even other jump chains were better in this regard. There, at least the character had something more than the minimum necessary interaction with the worlds visited and some sense in doing so.
So, it was bubbling inside me and it finally came to fruition. Well, I tried.
 
Rule 3: Be Civil - Attack the argument, not the poster. It is unacceptable to imply other users wish to own child slaves.
Hmm, no.

It simply didn't cater to your preferences and so you decided you needed to let the author know that they disappointed you, like they owed you something. Which they don't, never did, and your words

Pen-Pen said:
I don't understand at all what's going on. Explain to me: what is the point of traveling along the chain for the main character? What is the ultimate goal behind constantly raking in mountains of benefits and technologies? Where is his endgame?
Sorry in advance for the harsh words, but this is completely pointless. The character does random things, goes to random places for some crap that he suddenly needs... and that's it. I just can't get invested in this story. There is, as funny as it may be, too little humanity in her, there are no ways to highlight anything. Even other jump chains were better in this regard. There, at least the character had something more than the minimum necessary interaction with the worlds visited and some sense in doing so.
So, it was bubbling inside me and it finally came to fruition. Well, I tried.
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Vey clearly state your belief that they do. Norm is American, and male, and over 30. I don't know why you think they are under 15, a little girl, and Arabic. I don't care to know why you think they should be your ... slave.

Furthermore, it's a slice of life of a SI gaining a knockoff Doormaker from the Worm series. It, in fact, isn't a Jump chain. The OC is able to find realities that are a part of the chains, but the story itself isn't a Jump Chain.

The point of the story is a character study on a similar individual to the Author suddenly gaining the ability to go to any reality with some caveats to their travels.
 
WCSII said:
Vey clearly state your belief that they do. Norm is American, and male, and over 30. I don't know why you think they are under 15, a little girl, and Arabic. I don't care to know why you think they should be your ... slave.
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Um... WHAT? Where did this even come from? Did I say something about the gender, nationality or age of the main character? No. I don't know where you got this from.

shypunk said:
the author is doing what i would most likely do if i had the chance
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My main problem is that the events are all described too schematically, and many events and scenes are compressed almost into a simple summary. I'm sorry, but I can't enjoy a fat-free story where everything boils down to simple actions of "I went to this world, I found this thing, I talked to that person, now I have this and that, I got these and such benefits from the jump, hurray".
And no, I'm not saying that in such a situation I would not enjoy my opportunities, immediately dragging a bunch of different crap from the multiverse into my house. And I enjoyed reading such works.
Another thing is that I can't get emotionally invested in this life slice because... there's nothing in it that I can grab onto. It's too lean
 
. . . . Interesting. You pretense to not understand the reference. .... Well, if you want to play pretend, that is on you, I suppose.

But the inference was quite clear; such that only those not allowed news would potentially not get, and even then, most such still do.
 
Stop: WCSII has been removed from the thread
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    • wcsii has been removed from the thread
    WCSII said:
    Hmm, no.

    It simply didn't cater to your preferences and so you decided you needed to let the author know that they disappointed you, like they owed you something. Which they don't, never did, and your words



    Vey clearly state your belief that they do. Norm is American, and male, and over 30. I don't know why you think they are under 15, a little girl, and Arabic. I don't care to know why you think they should be your ... slave.

    Furthermore, it's a slice of life of a SI gaining a knockoff Doormaker from the Worm series. It, in fact, isn't a Jump chain. The OC is able to find realities that are a part of the chains, but the story itself isn't a Jump Chain.

    The point of the story is a character study on a similar individual to the Author suddenly gaining the ability to go to any reality with some caveats to their travels.
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    It is unacceptable to respond to a criticism of a story by accusing other users of wishing to own a slave.

    WCSII has been removed from the thread temporarily, do not respond to their posts in that time.
     
  • Staff Post
    • Can I just read something relaxing and random for at least 5 minutes without sudden shitstorms?
     
    Pen-Pen said:
    So, it was bubbling inside me and it finally came to fruition. Well, I tried.
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    shypunk said:
    the author is doing what i would most likely do if i had the chance
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    Andre Chaos said:
    Can I just read something relaxing and random for at least 5 minutes without sudden shitstorms?
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    In order to respond:
    Thankyou for trying. That's a very civil way of giving critique.
    I realize that what I am writing is not for everyone. Some people want to write because they got an idea for a story. Some it was because they wanted to blow off steam. I started writing this as one of a literal dozen attempts to stop being depressed. My muse hooked into it and I ran with it for wherever it would take me. And then suddenly I had a lot of pages of text.

    Pen-Pen said:
    My main problem is that the events are all described too schematically, and many events and scenes are compressed almost into a simple summary. I'm sorry, but I can't enjoy a fat-free story where everything boils down to simple actions of "I went to this world, I found this thing, I talked to that person, now I have this and that, I got these and such benefits from the jump, hurray".
    And no, I'm not saying that in such a situation I would not enjoy my opportunities, immediately dragging a bunch of different crap from the multiverse into my house. And I enjoyed reading such works.
    Another thing is that I can't get emotionally invested in this life slice because... there's nothing in it that I can grab onto. It's too lean
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    Sorry about that. I had an idea of putting a story into this that would be . . . more, but it never seemed to happen around going out and grabbing shinnies. I have no excuse but to say that I'm in a very weird part of my life right now.

    To put a more positive light on this, it has been fun looking up JumChain documents to find where you might find freebes. And I've liked the responses and help I've gotten.

    Thanks for sticking with it for as long as it ran, everyone.

    So, this is about as good a time for me to say that I'm going to End This Fic.

    The reasons are mostly the same as Pen-Pen, not enough story. Don't jump down their throat!

    I keep promising myself to write more story, but it's just more side-track into more Jumpchain documents. I'm spending more time looking through jumpchain documents than writing, and I've gotten sick of looking up jumpchain documents. I really, really, wanted to write more story, but I kept doing these side quests into other worlds.

    My muse has also started to wane. And as much as I might like to continue this, and I might get out one more chapter, I can't force myself to write when I have no interest. Trying to force myself keep going is not an option for me, as that would make me incapable of writing for a few months. I hate that.


    So, this is the end. Sorry.
     
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    Nitronorm5688 said:
    In order to respond:
    Thankyou for trying. That's a very civil way of giving critique.
    I realize that what I am writing is not for everyone. Some people want to write because they got an idea for a story. Some it was because they wanted to blow off steam. I started writing this as one of a literal dozen attempts to stop being depressed. My muse hooked into it and I ran with it for wherever it would take me. And then suddenly I had a lot of pages of text.



    Sorry about that. I had an idea of putting a story into this that would be . . . more, but it never seemed to happen around going out and grabbing shinnies. I have no excuse but to say that I'm in a very weird part of my life right now.

    To put a more positive light on this, it has been fun looking up JumChain documents to find where you might find freebes. And I've liked the responses and help I've gotten.

    Thanks for sticking with it for as long as it ran, everyone.

    So, this is about as good a time for me to say that I'm going to End This Fic.

    The reasons are mostly the same as Pen-Pen, not enough story. Don't jump down their throat!

    I keep promising myself to write more story, but it's just more side-track into more Jumpchain documents. I'm spending more time looking through jumpchain documents than writing, and I've gotten sick of looking up jumpchain documents. I really, really, wanted to write more story, but I kept doing these side quests into other worlds.

    My muse has also started to wane. And as much as I might like to continue this, and I might get out one more chapter, I can't force myself to write when I have no interest. Trying to force myself keep going is not an option for me, as that would make me incapable of writing for a few months. I hate that.


    So, this is the end. Sorry.
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    Hey respect for doing what many don't and actually writing a story I enjoyed it nothing perfect anyway would be boring if it was I do however hope that you comeback either with this story or a similar one well if you stop in the first place to note maybe instead of just focusing on your world/jumps maybe change it to a kingdom build like situation, to be honest, I would love to see the MC drop into a world proceed to make a company or something and change the outcome ... sorry rants anyway have a good day/night
     
    Okay, after rereading this story, I realized that every single world that the SI got into is already completed due to a Jumpchainer traveling around. This means that the SI's parallel self, the Jumper, is doing awesome stuff whereas the SI, Portal Traveler, is going on the aftermaths of said stuff. Thus I conclude that the chicken has indeed crossed the road... No not the SI, that one is a human. The Jumpchainer or whoever they are, might have a chicken altform.
     
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    Nitronorm5688 said:
    Sorry about that. I had an idea of putting a story into this that would be . . . more, but it never seemed to happen around going out and grabbing shinnies. I have no excuse but to say that I'm in a very weird part of my life right now.
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    Eh, no offense or complaints. I myself understand that it is impossible for absolutely everyone to like something. And here the problem is rather that I cannot read "schematic" works, because my brain screams at me demanding "More details, more descriptions, more EVERYTHING, damn it!" In these situations I feel more upset with myself because people seemed to be enjoying the story and I couldn't understand why I couldn't enjoy what everyone else was enjoying.
    It's a shame that you feel exhausted for this story, but this happens often. It happened to me too that I lost steam, but my problem there was that stubbornness prevented me from telling people something like "I'm tired, so this is the end, guys. I'll end here and leave an open ending or something- something like that." And I finished, and was even more or less satisfied, and although not all people were happy, the vast majority accepted it even more than favorably. But it was still far from what I imagined and planned in my head, but I had the realization that I simply did not have the moral strength to push EVEN FURTHER. If I did this by squeezing myself out like a tube of toothpaste, it wouldn't be normal. I don't advise anyone to do this.
    Sometimes you just run out of gunpowder, you've realized the ideas that prompted you to write your work in the first place, and you no longer have the inertia to move the story further. This is fine. It's a shame, first of all, for the writer himself, but still normal.
    The only thing I can say here is to give banal, but to some extent working advice: Do something else, take a break from writing and just start absorbing your favorite fan fiction, manga, anime, whatever.
    If there is something, one day it will just click and come and that itch will return. Rest and good luck in your future endeavors.
     
    Big sad, I was just enjoying a slice-of-life discovery fic, thanks for what you got! I enjoyed the ride.

    If you want a idea for your next fic, why not try out the Summoning Power? Basically, it works similarly to Inspired Inventor, where you gain charges and can summon things with those charges. You could put the MC in a world where eventually they would have to summon someone, if only to not be alone anymore.
     
    Really am enjoying this story. Looking forward to the next update and chapter posting.


    A few questions :

    Will Norman get superpowers like advenced intelligence, building skills and more

    Will Norman go to other universes like Star Wars, Marvel, DC and more .

    Will Norman get things for his personal world like robots, trains and more.

    Will Norman get personal things for himself on his personal world and home like artwork and more.

    Will Norman go back in time to time periods and places like the wild west and more.

    Will Norman collect things that were lost or destroyed in history



    A couple suggestions :

    I think that Norman should get things like droids, starships and more from the star wars universe.

    I think that Norman should get a hobby or so, like model trains or something else.
     
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