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Riverdale is the worst show on television and you should all be watching.

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open_sketch

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Riverdale is a CW live-action adaption of the long-running comic book series, and it's fucking trash.



Why should you watch this piece of unbelievable garbage?

The first scene in the show is a murder. We first see Archie with his shirt off. The line "Archie got hot" is spoken aloud. Betty is addicted to amphetamines and has a sassy gay best friend. Said gay best friend, Kevin, is defined entirely by being gay. Veronica talks in a non-stop, incomprehensible mass of movie references. Archie and Miss fucking Grundy have banged. Cheryl Blossom is an actual sociopath with weird incest vibes with her twin brother. Reggie is a background character who exists only to make bro noises any time the subject of sex comes up. Jughead hates Archie and is writing a true crime novel about Riverdale.

This is the first episode.

This show is like a lightning round of every weird and awful CW cliche.

I love it with my entire heart.

Please, join me in this dumpster.
 
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Please keep Jughead ace, that was the best and most natural thing ever.
 
open_sketchbook said:
Riverdale is a CW live-action adaption of the long-running comic book series, and it's fucking trash.



Why should you watch this piece of unbelievable garbage?

The first scene in the show is a murder. We first see Archie with his shirt off. The line "Archie got hot" is spoken aloud. Betty is addicted to amphetamines and has a sassy gay best friend. Said gay best friend, Kevin, is defined entirely by being gay. Veronica talks in a non-stop, incomprehensible mass of movie references. Archie and Miss fucking Grundy have banged. Cheryl Blossom is an actual sociopath with weird incest vibes with her twin brother. Reggie is a background character who exists only to make bro noises any time the subject of sex comes up. Jughead hates Archie and is writing a true crime novel about Riverdale.

This is the first episode.

This show is like a lightning round of every weird and awful CW cliche.

I love it with my entire heart.

Please, join me in this dumpster.
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This sounds like it would be some kind of four minute parody of Gotham.

And it's a full series.

...

Think I'll go take a nap. Can someone wake me when the world starts making sense again?
 
Rook said:
Where do you fucking find this stuff dude
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My entire twitter is watching this show. All of them share the exact same opinion; that this show is a fucking awful, offensive, shallow, grimdark insult to the original comics, which aren't that good to begin with, and we cannot stop watching.
 
What they're going with Reggie sounds like a total waste. An actual attempt to adapt his jackassery from the comics to be darker and edgier would be a wonder to behold.
 
Riverdale? Oh, is that where those Archie Comics are set? Those old, innocent cartoons from a bygone era where-
open_sketchbook said:
The first scene in the show is a murder. We first see Archie with his shirt off. The line "Archie got hot" is spoken aloud. Betty is addicted to amphetamines and has a sassy gay best friend. Said gay best friend, Kevin, is defined entirely by being gay. Veronica talks in a non-stop, incomprehensible mass of movie references. Archie and Miss fucking Grundy have banged. Cheryl Blossom is an actual sociopath with weird incest vibes with her twin brother. Reggie is a background character who exists only to make bro noises any time the subject of sex comes up. Jughead hates Archie and is writing a true crime novel about Riverdale..
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open_sketchbook said:
In the third episode of this show, Betty and Veronica drug and torture somebody.
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-the twist is it's a prequel to Arrow
 
open_sketchbook said:
In the third episode of this show, Betty and Veronica drug and torture somebody.
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dude dude dude you forgot to mention that what kicks this torture scene off is STICKY MAPLE and that Betty dunks the guy in a boiling hot tub by pressing his head down with her stilettos and also she's actually POLLY in this scene because POLLY comes out when she's OFF HER MEDS
 
Claudette Savagely said:
dude dude dude you forgot to mention that what kicks this torture scene off is STICKY MAPLE and that Betty dunks the guy in a boiling hot tub by pressing his head down with her stilettos and also she's actually POLLY in this scene because POLLY comes out when she's OFF HER MEDS
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Are you sure this show isn't actually a shared vivid fever-dream?
 
ZerbanDaGreat said:
Did you know that they want to bring Sabrina the Teenage Witch into the show only she's not a witch, she'll have escaped from a Satanic cult?

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I mean I've seen it surmised elsewhere that Ms Grundy is actually Hilda Spellman aka Sabrina's string instrument playing aunt which leads us to the obvious question

DID SALEM KILL JASON AS PART OF A MAGIC RITUAL WITH A TINY CAT KNIFE ATHAME??????
 
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ZerbanDaGreat said:
And going by those subtitles he longs for the sweet release of suicide! Truly he is the lap-cat of Blofeld-Satan!
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It's worse than you could have ever imagined!




(and yes that actually is Salem, from "The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina"!)

(which is a comic strip that started in 2016whoops fuck 2014, steered by the same chief creative dude who's masterminding Riverdale)
 
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