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Riverdale is the worst show on television and you should all be watching.

So having watched the first episode. What the Christ is this?

Jughead: Angsty crime novel writer

Veronica's trying to get a three-way started between her, Betty and Archie.

Archie's eyebrows

Archie being an angsty music writer/singer and a human beefcake

Archie banging his goddamn teacher.

Moose being thinking it's not gay as long as there is no kissing.

Josie and the Pussycats lecturing Archie for no reason

The fact someone looked at Archie fucking comics and decided "Yeah let's make this a CW drama focused on two Lannister twins and murder mystery".
 
Teen Spirit said:
So having watched the first episode. What the Christ is this?

Jughead: Angsty crime novel writer

Veronica's trying to get a three-way started between her, Betty and Archie.

Archie's eyebrows

Archie being an angsty music writer/singer and a human beefcake

Archie banging his goddamn teacher.

Moose being thinking it's not gay as long as there is no kissing.

Josie and the Pussycats lecturing Archie for no reason

The fact someone looked at Archie fucking comics and decided "Yeah let's make this a CW drama focused on two Lannister twins and murder mystery".
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Daily reminder that KJ Apa is 19

Every time I look at him I feel like I need to go straight to prison D:

Also the punchline is that the person who's running this madness wrote Glee and Big Love and also spearheaded two critically acclaimed and popularly received lines for Archie Comics, so like

It may actually work somehow???

DAMN YOU ROBERTO AGUIRRE-SACASA
 
K so this show has me curious because it sounds just all kinds of awful and terrifying but I feel there's an elephant in the room people are ignoring here.



That's 1/2 of Zack and Cody.
 
Claudette Savagely said:
dude dude dude you forgot to mention that what kicks this torture scene off is STICKY MAPLE and that Betty dunks the guy in a boiling hot tub by pressing his head down with her stilettos and also she's actually POLLY in this scene because POLLY comes out when she's OFF HER MEDS
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This sounds like if the guy giving the pitch got his notes mixed up with a fake trailer he was planning to make and just rolled with it.
 
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Athene said:
Please keep Jughead ace, that was the best and most natural thing ever.
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Jughead's going to have a love interest, but I don't think it'll be Big Ethel. Instead, I think it's going to be a certain someone, like in the Life with Archie magazine.

Anyway, I love it. I've stuck with the Afterlife with Archie line, despite all the issue delays, and its atmosphere definitely shows up in this show. Aguirre-Sacasa's Archie stuff may be out there, but he knows exactly how to twist the classic elements to grab attention.
 
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The licence magnifies the Twin Peaks stuff by making it more incongruous, but even without it it's not the worst teen comedy/train wreck on tv right now.

The real issue is that it's release one Ep a week because people with no impulse control complained.
 
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