The world of Mallus is weak, feeble, and lacking any sort of true scientific vision. You're just the researcher to change that. Get funding, complete the projects assigned to you by your employer, and remember that ethics are for weak-minded fools.
Research and Development Quest [Warhammer Fantasy]
- Thread starter Kaboomatic
- Start date
Warhammer Fantasy Research and Development Quest
- Created
- Status
- Ongoing
- Watchers
- 191
- Recent readers
- 0
- Threadmarks
- 12
-
Statistics (8 threadmarks, 14k words)
User Total Kaboomatic 8 -
Loading…
-
Loading…
Character Creation: Faction Choice
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Innovation.
You're honestly quite shocked at how many idiots and fools continually and consistently misinterpret that one simple word.
Innovation, by its very definition, cannot be constrained, cannot be caged by the pathetic ideals of weak-minded cowards. 'Rules' and 'guidelines' and 'ethics' should never be a factor in what to research, what experiments to conduct.
But that's what it is, isn't it?
At the end of the day, ethics are what separates the mewling rabble from those with the potential for true greatness, those who see the end of the road paved with corpses and pain and consider it well worth the cost.
The mayfly kingdoms of men, the gasping ruins of what used to be a dwarven empire, the elves cowering in their forests and their floating island, all of them are so quick to forget what made them, what they owe their power to.
Do they think the Vortex on High Ulthuan was made ethically?! Was Necromancy ever humane?! Did the Karaz Ankor's vaunted Runesmithing come about without sacrifice?!
No.
True progress only comes with freedom, the freedom from 'morals' and 'right and wrong'. The ends don't need to justify the means, because the means never needed to be justified in the first place.
It's why the forces of Order will never, ever shake up the status quo. It's why the Karaz Ankor will never reclaim its past glories, why the kingdoms of men will all eventually go the way of Dead Nekehara, why the Asur and Asrai can't take or hold land beyond their islands and forests.
They stop.
They don't know why or how or when to keep on continuing. To them, science is based around lines in the sand, lines they refuse to cross solely to keep some sort of moral superiority, to show that even as their world crumbles around their ears, they're still better than the 'barbarians' who will do anything to survive.
The funniest thing is, they actually think they have a point!
The 'righteous' think that doing anything to survive is a bad thing, that ethics and morals are anything more than a lie they tell themselves to be able to sleep at night!
They're lost in a delusion of their own making, closing their eyes to the reality of the world in an attempt to be 'good', to be 'moral', as if that has any value at all! They stick their heads into the sand while a wild beast rushes to devour them, shutting their eyes in a vain hope that their 'righteousness' will protect them!
But you. You know differently.
Your eyes are wide open.
You see the truth, you see the path forward, and unlike the milk-sodden lackwits of 'Order', you won't flinch away from true progress!
No! The abyss of never ending innovation has stared deep into your soul, and you have stared back!
You are a prophet, a messiah, the one who will bring the glory of advancement at all costs to the blinded fools of the world! You will crush the light of ignorance and bring about a dark age of revelation, where the world is covered in the artificial clouds of knowledge and amorality!
And behind you - Nay, beside you - will be the other members of your race, one of the few, the very, very, few, to understand your goal, your drive, your life's purpose!
Not all of them, of course, there will always be those who prefer personal gain over scientific advancement, and frankly, you may also fall into that category, but their motives for true research don't matter. What matters is their means!
And like you, they see no reason to limit themselves with petty concerns of morality, no reason to claim superiority through righteousness! After all, you're already superior to the cringing, feeble vermin that infest the world that should be yours by right! What need have you of other justifications?!
And nowhere is this clearer than in your science! Resources are made to be exploited, and just because a few bleeding hearts don't see beings as resources doesn't mean that classification changes!
So what if a few dozen slaves die in unimaginable agony as a side effect of an experiment?! The pain they undergo gives valuable research data!
So what if you've consigned a few insignificant souls to eternal damnation for resources? It's not like they had any other value, and they wouldn't be missed by anyone important!
So what if you've committed some 'atrocities' and 'violations of every form of human decency' on your slaves? After all, it's not like you're human!
Their deaths, torture, and general misery contributed to the advancement of your goals, and really, isn't that the most important thing?!
If need be, you'll ride a wave of broken bodies to your vision of the future, consign a million million souls to eternal damnation for but an iota of progress, shatter the world itself if its dying gasps are needed to see your dreams made manifest!
Aided by your kinsmen, you will drag the world kicking and screaming into your ideal future, and no matter what you gave to do, what risks others have to take, it'll all be worth it!
...Of course, you won't rush into anything with no care for your personal safety.
You're not a Skaven, after all.
No, you're much better than one of those sniveling ratmen. You are one of the
[] Chosen of Hashut: Glory to the Father of Darkness! You are Dawi Zharr, one of the destined rulers of the world, a right given to you implicitly by three simple things. The first is of course your inbuilt nature. Your people are resistant to chaos, supernaturally durable, and able to live in environments that would kill the likes of men or elves, proving your superiority over the weakling races.
The second is your accomplishments. Has any other race figured out how to dissect daemons and use them as tools? Has any other group unlocked the secrets of the internal combustion engine or the locomotive? Has any other nation created new species of life without using warpstone as a crutch? No, they haven't.
The third and most important reason is Hashut. The Father of Darkness saved your people after the Ancestor Gods of the Dawi sent them on a suicide mission into the Dark Lands, leaving them to die in a wasteland. And they nearly did, until the Bull God found them, took them in, taught them the truth of the world and their rightful position in it; standing on top, with everyone except Hashut Himself crushed under their boots.
It's what your society is built on; slaves at the bottom, 'allies' and mercenaries slightly above them, Dawi Zharr far, far above them, and above even your kinsmen, the Sorcerer Priests, the toughest, smartest, most powerful of your people, an ancient order that rules all, an order that you're a part of.
But even amongst your peers, you've always been talented, enough that you achieved your vaunted rank at the meager age of two hundred. Through intense study and a fanatical thirst for knowledge, you learned the secrets of your station.
You learned how to distill daemons into their basest components, and use those building blocks to create great and terrible hell-forged machinery. You know how to make flesh bow to your will and twist itself into whatever form you desire. You understand the Lore of Azgorh and its intricacies, the rites of your god and the meanings of his domains.
And your talent has been recognized by one of the highest authorities of the Dawi Zharr. They've seen fit to reward your genius with a position as a researcher, giving you kinsdwarves to command, a wealth of slaves, and a considerable amount of funding.
Succeed in the tasks your patron gives you, and status and power will be yours for the taking. Fail, and you'll be forced into a one-dwarf assault on Karaz-a-Karak.
Bah! As if you'd ever engage in anything as plebian as failure.
[] True Heirs of Chaos: The life of a Fimir is seething bitterness and a shattered destiny. Your people were to be the rulers of an unbroken empire, controlling the deeps and the land alike, an empire made by and made for the truest chosen of the Dark Gods. Not the Beastmen, who are nothing more than pawns and wild animals unfit to be anything more than slaves. Not the weak smooth-skinned humans, who beg and plead for every scrap of meager favor, leeching off of the Ruinous Powers like bloodsucking parasites. Not the Naga Queens of Khuresh, or the heretical Dawi Zharr, or any of the elves, especially their Cult of Pleasure.
No. The only race strong and clever and ruthless enough to grip the world itself in their iron-clawed hand, to enslave and subjugate all lesser beings, to bleed millions in Chaos' name and revel in the gods' favor, the only race deserving of such feats is the Fimir!
And yet. The beastmen mindlessly cavort and raid, their numbers only ever expanding. The pinkskin humans are given the favor of the Powers as a matter of course. And even more galling than that, Order rules the world, grasping onto the barest threads of survival even as the unworthy pretenders to Chaos continually fail to bring them low.
All while your people are relegated to the edges of swamps and ruined castles, to strike fear into the hearts of an irrelevant primitive island and nowhere else. Albion is both the seat of your power and your people's prison, and worst of all, no matter how much you despise the current state of affairs, for now you can't change it.
But hatred brings power. Power enough to learn how to bind daemons, force the servants of the four to assume their rightful place as the slaves, items, and armaments of the Chosen of the Gods. Power enough to unlock and enhance your own inherent abilities, the natural gifts that make the Fimir superior to the other mortal races. And power enough to steal the secrets of the only parts of Albion worth anything, the Oghams and what they protect.
And finally, your power has been recognized. You've been given slaves, Shearls, other Dirachs and more, all to act as your patron's experimenter and researcher.
Succeed, and the greatest legacies of the Old Empire will be opened to you. Fail, and you will die unknown and unremembered, like every Fimir before you.
You will not fail.
[] Strongest Fuckers Around: Yeah, that's right. You're an Ogre, big, strong, and hungry. And that's what every damn person, daemon, and thinking being that doesn't fall under the first two categories on the planet thinks when they hear the word 'ogre'. According to them, you eat, you fight, and you don't do much else.
Which, fair cop, is kind of true. But it shouldn't be true. Ogres shouldn't be thought of as strong and easily manipulated mercenaries. The first thing anyone with any power thinks of when they meet one of your kinsmen is how best to lure them into doing what they want the ogre to do.
You're feared, yeah, but you're never respected. And that makes all the difference. People don't see the ogres as a group as a threat, even if they see individual ogres as fucking terrifying, that doesn't change their preconceptions of your race. Honestly, you can't really fault em.
Ogres are a bunch of primitive warriors who don't really think about more than the food in their belly. It's not even about how you ain't exactly what the rest of the world would call civilized.
It's about the fact that, for the most part, Ogres are just plain dumb. You know it, you accept it, and you ain't gonna be mad at someone, even yourself, for just coming out and saying the truth. Your people aren't exactly the brightest torches in the cave, more like charcoal embers than actual fire, if you get your meaning.
But that ain't you, not by a long shot. Even though your words don't sound like it, you're as smart as the smarter fuckers of the other races.
Smart enough to learn some magic, to give a bit more of your food to the Maw so that it gives you some power in return. Smart enough to take the guns and swords your tribe's looted from manling caravans and figure out the basics of how they work. Smart enough to figure out how to pummel the beasties of the Mountains in just the right way that they start doing what you say.
Smart enough to 'apprentice' yourself to a few lads, a slaughtermaster, a few leadbelchers, and a hunter or three. Smart enough to take what you could from their expertise and then abandon them, disposing of the evidence of your 'treachery' in the best way possible. Or, in other words, eating them after they tried to eat you.
And above all else, smart enough that your Tyrant's Tyrant, one of the big bosses themselves, has decided to put you up with a few lads, a few slaves, and a bunch of dosh, and see what exactly you can make for them.
If you succeed, you'll get money, power, magic, and food beyond your wildest dreams. If you mess up? You'll be the food.
No pressure, eh?
A/N: I'm back on my bullshit. But this time, I have people to keep me on said bullshit. Specifically @Xantalos and @Swordomatic, who're kindly acting as the betas for this quest.
As always, this first vote is going to have perhaps the greatest impact on the quest itself, so if you have any questions at all, please ask.
You're honestly quite shocked at how many idiots and fools continually and consistently misinterpret that one simple word.
Innovation, by its very definition, cannot be constrained, cannot be caged by the pathetic ideals of weak-minded cowards. 'Rules' and 'guidelines' and 'ethics' should never be a factor in what to research, what experiments to conduct.
But that's what it is, isn't it?
At the end of the day, ethics are what separates the mewling rabble from those with the potential for true greatness, those who see the end of the road paved with corpses and pain and consider it well worth the cost.
The mayfly kingdoms of men, the gasping ruins of what used to be a dwarven empire, the elves cowering in their forests and their floating island, all of them are so quick to forget what made them, what they owe their power to.
Do they think the Vortex on High Ulthuan was made ethically?! Was Necromancy ever humane?! Did the Karaz Ankor's vaunted Runesmithing come about without sacrifice?!
No.
True progress only comes with freedom, the freedom from 'morals' and 'right and wrong'. The ends don't need to justify the means, because the means never needed to be justified in the first place.
It's why the forces of Order will never, ever shake up the status quo. It's why the Karaz Ankor will never reclaim its past glories, why the kingdoms of men will all eventually go the way of Dead Nekehara, why the Asur and Asrai can't take or hold land beyond their islands and forests.
They stop.
They don't know why or how or when to keep on continuing. To them, science is based around lines in the sand, lines they refuse to cross solely to keep some sort of moral superiority, to show that even as their world crumbles around their ears, they're still better than the 'barbarians' who will do anything to survive.
The funniest thing is, they actually think they have a point!
The 'righteous' think that doing anything to survive is a bad thing, that ethics and morals are anything more than a lie they tell themselves to be able to sleep at night!
They're lost in a delusion of their own making, closing their eyes to the reality of the world in an attempt to be 'good', to be 'moral', as if that has any value at all! They stick their heads into the sand while a wild beast rushes to devour them, shutting their eyes in a vain hope that their 'righteousness' will protect them!
But you. You know differently.
Your eyes are wide open.
You see the truth, you see the path forward, and unlike the milk-sodden lackwits of 'Order', you won't flinch away from true progress!
No! The abyss of never ending innovation has stared deep into your soul, and you have stared back!
You are a prophet, a messiah, the one who will bring the glory of advancement at all costs to the blinded fools of the world! You will crush the light of ignorance and bring about a dark age of revelation, where the world is covered in the artificial clouds of knowledge and amorality!
And behind you - Nay, beside you - will be the other members of your race, one of the few, the very, very, few, to understand your goal, your drive, your life's purpose!
Not all of them, of course, there will always be those who prefer personal gain over scientific advancement, and frankly, you may also fall into that category, but their motives for true research don't matter. What matters is their means!
And like you, they see no reason to limit themselves with petty concerns of morality, no reason to claim superiority through righteousness! After all, you're already superior to the cringing, feeble vermin that infest the world that should be yours by right! What need have you of other justifications?!
And nowhere is this clearer than in your science! Resources are made to be exploited, and just because a few bleeding hearts don't see beings as resources doesn't mean that classification changes!
So what if a few dozen slaves die in unimaginable agony as a side effect of an experiment?! The pain they undergo gives valuable research data!
So what if you've consigned a few insignificant souls to eternal damnation for resources? It's not like they had any other value, and they wouldn't be missed by anyone important!
So what if you've committed some 'atrocities' and 'violations of every form of human decency' on your slaves? After all, it's not like you're human!
Their deaths, torture, and general misery contributed to the advancement of your goals, and really, isn't that the most important thing?!
If need be, you'll ride a wave of broken bodies to your vision of the future, consign a million million souls to eternal damnation for but an iota of progress, shatter the world itself if its dying gasps are needed to see your dreams made manifest!
Aided by your kinsmen, you will drag the world kicking and screaming into your ideal future, and no matter what you gave to do, what risks others have to take, it'll all be worth it!
...Of course, you won't rush into anything with no care for your personal safety.
You're not a Skaven, after all.
No, you're much better than one of those sniveling ratmen. You are one of the
[] Chosen of Hashut: Glory to the Father of Darkness! You are Dawi Zharr, one of the destined rulers of the world, a right given to you implicitly by three simple things. The first is of course your inbuilt nature. Your people are resistant to chaos, supernaturally durable, and able to live in environments that would kill the likes of men or elves, proving your superiority over the weakling races.
The second is your accomplishments. Has any other race figured out how to dissect daemons and use them as tools? Has any other group unlocked the secrets of the internal combustion engine or the locomotive? Has any other nation created new species of life without using warpstone as a crutch? No, they haven't.
The third and most important reason is Hashut. The Father of Darkness saved your people after the Ancestor Gods of the Dawi sent them on a suicide mission into the Dark Lands, leaving them to die in a wasteland. And they nearly did, until the Bull God found them, took them in, taught them the truth of the world and their rightful position in it; standing on top, with everyone except Hashut Himself crushed under their boots.
It's what your society is built on; slaves at the bottom, 'allies' and mercenaries slightly above them, Dawi Zharr far, far above them, and above even your kinsmen, the Sorcerer Priests, the toughest, smartest, most powerful of your people, an ancient order that rules all, an order that you're a part of.
But even amongst your peers, you've always been talented, enough that you achieved your vaunted rank at the meager age of two hundred. Through intense study and a fanatical thirst for knowledge, you learned the secrets of your station.
You learned how to distill daemons into their basest components, and use those building blocks to create great and terrible hell-forged machinery. You know how to make flesh bow to your will and twist itself into whatever form you desire. You understand the Lore of Azgorh and its intricacies, the rites of your god and the meanings of his domains.
And your talent has been recognized by one of the highest authorities of the Dawi Zharr. They've seen fit to reward your genius with a position as a researcher, giving you kinsdwarves to command, a wealth of slaves, and a considerable amount of funding.
Succeed in the tasks your patron gives you, and status and power will be yours for the taking. Fail, and you'll be forced into a one-dwarf assault on Karaz-a-Karak.
Bah! As if you'd ever engage in anything as plebian as failure.
Daemon Engineering: The science of refining Daemons down to their core components, isolating the stories and concepts that give them meaning and power. It's also the art of using these refined Daemon parts in great works of machinery, both as power sources and as methods to give the Dawi Zharr's foul artifice its unique properties.
Fleshcrafting: The art of bending flesh to one's will, using alchemical processes, sorcery, and unique magical and biological sciences to mutate and warp living beings into whatever form the Fleshcrafter desires. Most of these mutated beings are unstable and die quickly, and as such, the art of keeping one's creations stable is as integral to Fleshcrafting as the mutation aspect.
Sorcery: The Lore of Hashut Himself, also known as the Lore of Azgorh, the Dawi Zharr's method of Sorcery focuses on the themes of Fire, Bulls, Tyranny, and the Dark Lands. It is a lore of ferocious offensive abilities with gouts of magma, fire, and choking ash, though it also gives the wielder potent binding and controlling abilities through the central theme of Tyranny.
Ancestor Gods: The Dawi Zharr gave up their heritage long ago in favor of service to Hashut, but that doesn't mean that their heritage disappeared. The Ancestor Gods have long since deemed the Dawi Zharr a lost cause, but that doesn't mean an enterprising Sorcerer-Priest couldn't delve into the secrets of their ancestry. All knowledge is worth having, after all.
Fleshcrafting: The art of bending flesh to one's will, using alchemical processes, sorcery, and unique magical and biological sciences to mutate and warp living beings into whatever form the Fleshcrafter desires. Most of these mutated beings are unstable and die quickly, and as such, the art of keeping one's creations stable is as integral to Fleshcrafting as the mutation aspect.
Sorcery: The Lore of Hashut Himself, also known as the Lore of Azgorh, the Dawi Zharr's method of Sorcery focuses on the themes of Fire, Bulls, Tyranny, and the Dark Lands. It is a lore of ferocious offensive abilities with gouts of magma, fire, and choking ash, though it also gives the wielder potent binding and controlling abilities through the central theme of Tyranny.
[] True Heirs of Chaos: The life of a Fimir is seething bitterness and a shattered destiny. Your people were to be the rulers of an unbroken empire, controlling the deeps and the land alike, an empire made by and made for the truest chosen of the Dark Gods. Not the Beastmen, who are nothing more than pawns and wild animals unfit to be anything more than slaves. Not the weak smooth-skinned humans, who beg and plead for every scrap of meager favor, leeching off of the Ruinous Powers like bloodsucking parasites. Not the Naga Queens of Khuresh, or the heretical Dawi Zharr, or any of the elves, especially their Cult of Pleasure.
No. The only race strong and clever and ruthless enough to grip the world itself in their iron-clawed hand, to enslave and subjugate all lesser beings, to bleed millions in Chaos' name and revel in the gods' favor, the only race deserving of such feats is the Fimir!
And yet. The beastmen mindlessly cavort and raid, their numbers only ever expanding. The pinkskin humans are given the favor of the Powers as a matter of course. And even more galling than that, Order rules the world, grasping onto the barest threads of survival even as the unworthy pretenders to Chaos continually fail to bring them low.
All while your people are relegated to the edges of swamps and ruined castles, to strike fear into the hearts of an irrelevant primitive island and nowhere else. Albion is both the seat of your power and your people's prison, and worst of all, no matter how much you despise the current state of affairs, for now you can't change it.
But hatred brings power. Power enough to learn how to bind daemons, force the servants of the four to assume their rightful place as the slaves, items, and armaments of the Chosen of the Gods. Power enough to unlock and enhance your own inherent abilities, the natural gifts that make the Fimir superior to the other mortal races. And power enough to steal the secrets of the only parts of Albion worth anything, the Oghams and what they protect.
And finally, your power has been recognized. You've been given slaves, Shearls, other Dirachs and more, all to act as your patron's experimenter and researcher.
Succeed, and the greatest legacies of the Old Empire will be opened to you. Fail, and you will die unknown and unremembered, like every Fimir before you.
You will not fail.
Daemon Binding: The art of binding Daemons into specially prepared receptacles to harness their power. While on the surface a simple art, Daemon binding is very complex, seeing as there are dozens of types of Daemons, each with different rituals and objects they're most suited to empower. The results are potent; powerful magical items and unique artifacts on par with other races.
Inherent Abilities: Fimir are enormous armored beings with esoteric ocular abilities such as witchsight. Even more than that, Fimir are born into separate castes, each with their own unique features. Some even whisper that quite a few of these abilities and castes lay dormant, hidden for unknown reasons. If the Fimir were to rediscover these sealed powers, they would grow dramatically in power.
Oghams: Albion is littered with the Ogham Stones, powerful artifacts that anchor the Mists of Albion and gather the Winds of Magic. These aren't the only sites of power on the Isle either, with barrows, temples, and other more esoteric creations, all of which are both powerful and protected by unknown forces. The Fimir have managed to pierce some of these protections, and the knowledge and power able to be gained by studying these sites is great indeed.
Baloric Fimir: The Fimir were not always the Chaos worshipping race that we know today. Once, they were a people just like any other, semi-aquatic and worshipping a god not linked to the Four, a god only known by their name: Balor. That part of Fimir history is long gone, but a Dirach with drive and time could discover many things. All knowledge is worth having, after all.
Inherent Abilities: Fimir are enormous armored beings with esoteric ocular abilities such as witchsight. Even more than that, Fimir are born into separate castes, each with their own unique features. Some even whisper that quite a few of these abilities and castes lay dormant, hidden for unknown reasons. If the Fimir were to rediscover these sealed powers, they would grow dramatically in power.
Oghams: Albion is littered with the Ogham Stones, powerful artifacts that anchor the Mists of Albion and gather the Winds of Magic. These aren't the only sites of power on the Isle either, with barrows, temples, and other more esoteric creations, all of which are both powerful and protected by unknown forces. The Fimir have managed to pierce some of these protections, and the knowledge and power able to be gained by studying these sites is great indeed.
[] Strongest Fuckers Around: Yeah, that's right. You're an Ogre, big, strong, and hungry. And that's what every damn person, daemon, and thinking being that doesn't fall under the first two categories on the planet thinks when they hear the word 'ogre'. According to them, you eat, you fight, and you don't do much else.
Which, fair cop, is kind of true. But it shouldn't be true. Ogres shouldn't be thought of as strong and easily manipulated mercenaries. The first thing anyone with any power thinks of when they meet one of your kinsmen is how best to lure them into doing what they want the ogre to do.
You're feared, yeah, but you're never respected. And that makes all the difference. People don't see the ogres as a group as a threat, even if they see individual ogres as fucking terrifying, that doesn't change their preconceptions of your race. Honestly, you can't really fault em.
Ogres are a bunch of primitive warriors who don't really think about more than the food in their belly. It's not even about how you ain't exactly what the rest of the world would call civilized.
It's about the fact that, for the most part, Ogres are just plain dumb. You know it, you accept it, and you ain't gonna be mad at someone, even yourself, for just coming out and saying the truth. Your people aren't exactly the brightest torches in the cave, more like charcoal embers than actual fire, if you get your meaning.
But that ain't you, not by a long shot. Even though your words don't sound like it, you're as smart as the smarter fuckers of the other races.
Smart enough to learn some magic, to give a bit more of your food to the Maw so that it gives you some power in return. Smart enough to take the guns and swords your tribe's looted from manling caravans and figure out the basics of how they work. Smart enough to figure out how to pummel the beasties of the Mountains in just the right way that they start doing what you say.
Smart enough to 'apprentice' yourself to a few lads, a slaughtermaster, a few leadbelchers, and a hunter or three. Smart enough to take what you could from their expertise and then abandon them, disposing of the evidence of your 'treachery' in the best way possible. Or, in other words, eating them after they tried to eat you.
And above all else, smart enough that your Tyrant's Tyrant, one of the big bosses themselves, has decided to put you up with a few lads, a few slaves, and a bunch of dosh, and see what exactly you can make for them.
If you succeed, you'll get money, power, magic, and food beyond your wildest dreams. If you mess up? You'll be the food.
No pressure, eh?
Maw Magic: One part a Lore of Magic and one part alchemy, the Lore of the Great Maw is a lore centered around eating objects, metaphysically sacrificing them to the Great Maw, and gaining powers in recompense. The exact fluctuations and effects of this magic change based on numerous factors, the age of the food, the nature of its harvesting, and even the deeds done while harvesting it.
Weaponry: Ogre weaponry is quite primitive, with the apex of their craft being catapults, cannons made by Firebellies beating metal into shape, and crude plate armor. However, even outside their Maneaters, Ogre tribes are sometimes in possession of enormous and masterfully crafted gunpowder weapons, said to be relics of the Sky Titans. No Ogre has yet to unlock the secrets of these relics, but it's only a matter of time.
Mourne Beasts: The Mountains of Mourne are a place full of strange and powerful beasts, and nobody knows this more than the Ogres, who regularly fight, eat, and tame these monstrosities. Ogre tribes are made considerably stronger by even a few Mournfang Riders, let alone the stronger animals of the Mountains, and any tribe of note has at least a few beastmasters among their ranks.
Pre-Maw Ogres: The Ogres weren't always the way they were now. Legends from Old Cathay speak of a different people, seen as merely larger and stronger humans. They would eventually become the Ogres of today, venerating the Great Maw and possessing immense strength and hunger. But that history still happened, and an Ogre with enough patience could unearth it. All knowledge is worth having, after all.
Weaponry: Ogre weaponry is quite primitive, with the apex of their craft being catapults, cannons made by Firebellies beating metal into shape, and crude plate armor. However, even outside their Maneaters, Ogre tribes are sometimes in possession of enormous and masterfully crafted gunpowder weapons, said to be relics of the Sky Titans. No Ogre has yet to unlock the secrets of these relics, but it's only a matter of time.
Mourne Beasts: The Mountains of Mourne are a place full of strange and powerful beasts, and nobody knows this more than the Ogres, who regularly fight, eat, and tame these monstrosities. Ogre tribes are made considerably stronger by even a few Mournfang Riders, let alone the stronger animals of the Mountains, and any tribe of note has at least a few beastmasters among their ranks.
A/N: I'm back on my bullshit. But this time, I have people to keep me on said bullshit. Specifically @Xantalos and @Swordomatic, who're kindly acting as the betas for this quest.
As always, this first vote is going to have perhaps the greatest impact on the quest itself, so if you have any questions at all, please ask.
Character Creation: Specialties and Name
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You're an ogre.
No shit, right?
After all, what else would you be? One of those spiky stunties from up north? One of those irrelevant swamp lizards that nobody's cared about in generations?
Yeah, no, the thought alone is enough to make you laugh. As if you'd be anything as stupid as those guys.
Instead, you're part of the biggest, toughest, hungriest race on the planet. And you gotta say, life is pretty damn good.
See, the thing about surviving in an ogre tribe is that if you aren't useful in some way, you're gonna get eaten. Ergo, the best way to not get eaten is to make yourself useful. And for you, that usefulness didn't come around through being another dumb bruiser for your Tyrant to boss around.
Nah, you realized early on that while you might not have been any stronger than the average ogre, you were a hell of a lot smarter.
So you decided to focus on that.
Instead of beating up other members of your tribe to show where exactly you stood in the pecking order, you found ogres with the skills you needed so you could prove that you'd actually be useful to the tribe, and you learned from them.
The first guy you studied under was a hunter, Krark Beastpuncher. He was an old ogre, one that'd been around longer than the last two tyrants. He'd come around the tribe every so often, bring back a few trophies from his hunts, the parts of animals that didn't taste so good, then spend a few days bragging about his latest kill while every damn ogre in the tribe young enough to not know better desperately tried to show off to him. All of em wanted to be his apprentice, but no matter what they did, Krark always left alone, alone except for whatever tame beast he had with him.
Of course, you were different. See, you'd noticed something. All those other ogres did stupid shit to 'prove their worth'. You just waited until he was about to leave and asked.
And it worked!
Krark shrugged, took you on as an apprentice and emergency food supply, and taught you everything he knew. You learned tracking, survival skills, stealth, a hell of a lot of fighting, but most importantly, you learned Krark's secret skill, Beastpunching.
...You do have to admit it's kind of a stupid secret, especially since the name of the technique was also the name of Krark's title, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that you learned how to punch the beasties of the Mountains in just the right way to get them to listen to you and do what you say. There's a bit more to it than that, but at the end of the day it's mostly just punching and a bit of yelling.
Not long after Krark taught you Beastpunching, the two of you were caught in the middle of a rock blizzard, which was exactly what it sounded like. After eating all of your tamed beasts, the two of you turned to the only food left available. Each other. Krark was a master at killing shit, but he was old, old and weak. You made it quick.
He was a good teacher, Krark. Out of respect, you didn't even eat his skull, just the rest of his body and the meat on his head.
Your next teacher was a Leadbelcher, Mulg Cannonbite. Mulg was weird, even for Leadbelchers. He didn't just go to the nearest Firebelly when his cannon got messed up or when he needed more ammo, he figured out how to fix it himself. Apparently he just didn't like firebellies, something about em rubbed him the wrong way.
Either way, you asked if he could teach you how to make and fix cannons if you brought him food every now and then, and he accepted. In exchange for a few Mournfangs every now and then, Mulg taught you the secrets of weaponry and metal, and not just cannons either.
Apparently, Mulg was hiding a bunch of knowledge for whatever reason, and he decided to teach you all of it. You learned how to make the scraplaunchers that some of the weedier Gnoblars used, how to beat metal into shape for armor and weapons, and yeah, even how to make crude cannons and cannonballs.
Even more than that, you learned the formula for blasting powder, or Mulg's version of it. Take some Mournfang bones, crush em up and mix that with some volcano rocks, add some charcoal, douse the entire thing in stomach acid, and boom.
Heh, literally boom. Since it's blasting powder.
Eventually though, the inevitable happened. Mulg taught you all he knew, after which he tried to eat you. Something about him doubling his knowledge by eating someone with as much knowledge as him.
To be honest, you weren't really paying that much attention, and it was pretty stupid anyways. Everyone knew that the only way to get stuff other than a full belly from eating brains was to be a Butcher and do some magic on the brains first, and no matter how smart he was, Mulg wasn't a Butcher.
Anyways, you killed Mulg with a surprise Mournfang corpse to the chest, and ate him. Left his skull alone though, same as with Krark. Mulg was a pretty good teacher and it wasn't like he tried to do something bad.
Your final teacher wasn't even an ogre, it was a book. Kind of.
Some Butcher by the name of Rakk Drakegnawer apparently decided to write down exactly how he became a Butcher, step by step, for whatever fuckin reason. But hey, you weren't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so you just kinda shrugged, read the book on how to become magic, and went at it.
It was actually pretty simple, now that you think about it. There was basically only one actual step, figuring out how to send some of your meals to the Maw instead of to your belly. Of course, simple doesn't mean easy, and that step was a lot harder than you thought it would be.
The first big problem was wrapping your head around giving food to anyone else, even the Maw. it was your food, in your belly, and it should be making you full, not anyone else. Eventually though, you decided to try. After all, magic meant you'd get a lot more food in your belly than before. It was simple math.
Then, you had to figure out how to do it. The book wasn't really helpful, it just said something about eating food without eating it. You figured it out though, even if it did take about a year of failed attempts.
All you had to do was eat a bit of food, pray to the Maw inside your head, take that feeling of being full, and push it away.
Felt fuckin awful, but magic was magic and it was worth it. Your first spell was awesome as hell, you ate a brain and then the gnoblars around you died from nightmares, all while a small spark, a tunnel really, opened itself up in the middle of your belly. You were officially a Butcher. And you still had 80% of the book left.
That 80% was rituals and recipes, giving that small spark/tunnel thing specific types of food. Feed it a Saberfang tooth and you got a spell to send a giant bite down on someone. Give it some Troll guts and the lads around you can grow back their bits like a troll can.
It changed based on how you prepared the food too. Combining two food bits gave a spell that was a fusion of the two, like eating a mournfang bone that would make the lads tougher and a bit of charcoal that made you belch out some fire created a spell that made the lads burn anyone that touched em.
The book's been a real good help. Sometimes you question how you even learned to read, but then you just shrug and move on.
Anyways, after becoming a butcher, kind of, you settled into a nice role as 'way too useful to even think about eating', and for a while, your life was good.
Then your Tyrant pissed off one of the BIG names of ogrekind, and most of your tribe got eaten by a coalition of ogres eager to suck up to that Big Name.
You, however, were too useful to be eaten. That Big Name decided that you worked for him now, and had you tell him exactly what you were good at and what your name was.
You told him, and your new Tyrant liked the answer enough that instead of eating you, he decided to set you up with a few lads, a few gnoblars, a few slaves, a load of dosh, and put you to work.
What exactly are you good at?
General Specialty
[] Beastpunching: In the middle of your fight, Krark saw that he was gonna die. Laughing, he decided to pass on the greatest secret of Beastpunching, his ultimate technique. While the two of you tried to eat each other, Krark taught you how to punch beasts in their minds, giving them rewards and punishments for doing the stuff you wanted them to. Right as he was done, you caved his chest in with a punch. Gain Mourne Beasts at TL 3. Weaponry and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
[] Weaponmaking: After you ate Mulg, you looted his hut and found a small journal, one where he wrote down stuff that he didn't even teach you. You spent a few weeks looking through the book, finding ways to make stronger weapons and armor, notes on bigger catapults, and even a formula for better blasting powder. You knew Mulg was holding out on you, but this much? You were actually kinda hurt. Gain Weaponry at TL 3. Mourne Beasts and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
[] Gut Magic: Right as you finished memorizing the book, you accidentally pressed a hidden key, or activated some sort of magic enchantment, and the result was the book getting about a third bigger. You looked through the new pages and found a bunch of more powerful recipes, ways to prepare ingredients that you hadn't even thought of, and even some stuff on how to combine em better. It's some pretty neat stuff. Gain Gut Magic at TL 3. Weaponry and Mourne Beasts start at TL 2.
Personal Specialty
[] Necromancy: Sometimes the dead speak to you. It's kind of weird, hearing their voices, and you always have a bit of a headache, but after punching a ghost right in the head and stealing their ghost journal, you figured out some stuff about your little power. Apparently you're a necromancer, one of those fuckers who raises undead and makes vampires and stuff, though you're nowhere near the level of the masters. But that doesn't mean you're a complete novice, you can raise a few undead, you can do some death bolt shit, it's pretty cool. It's early days yet, but you got a good feeling about this. Gain Necromancy at TL 2.
[] Summoning: There's a lot of times that you're in the Mountains alone, without any food, and you get really hungry. So, eventually, you tried to fix that like most ogres do, yelling really hard for something to come over here. Unlike with most ogres though, it actually worked. You summoned up a big old nasty thing, some sort of being made up of rock and anger. When it attacked you, you kicked its ass, but when you tried to eat it, it disappeared. Being smart like you are, you realized you'd managed to summon an elemental, and after a few more tries, you realized you could summon elementals, and a few minor daemons, just through yelling. Eventually, you even managed to figure out how to trap em in ritual circles and the like, so they don't try to kill you immediately. They still try, but now they can't succeed. Gain Summoning at TL 2.
[] Martial Arts: You met a Cathayan Monk once. Obviously, when faced with a human with nobody else with him, you decided to try and eat him. That spindly little human kicked your ass using a single hand. Then, instead of killing you, he offered to teach you some of his tricks. Obviously, you agreed, and over the next few years you learned all about martial arts, forms, katas, different styles and more importantly, how to create your own through looking at the world around you. One day, you woke up and your teacher was just gone. You haven't seen him since. Gain Martial Arts at TL 2.
First Name
[] Write-in:
Deed Name
[] Pageeater: You ate a bunch of skinny humans once. Well, you ate a bunch of skinny humans a lot more than just once, bunches of skinny humans are one of your bigger food sources after all. But this particular bunch of skinny humans had a stack of books, some sort of tribute to their Tyrant-equivalent, an 'Emperor' or something like that. Obviously you ate those too. The books must've been magic though, since you got a big headache, passed out, and now every so often you get a bit of knowledge on some random stuff, and after a while it goes away. Lads started calling you Pageeater after that. Gain a randomly rolled Specialty at TL 1 each turn. This Specialty lasts until the end of your turn.
[] Terrormake: One day, walking around in the Mountains, you found a thing. Obviously, after not recognizing it, you picked it up, rushed back to your tribe, and looked it up in your big book of Gut Magic. You still have no idea what that thing's made of, or where it came from, but you do know what it's used for. The thing is the component needed to cast the most horrific spell in the history of ogrekind. It's what you need to cast a spell of famine, one that reaches across half the mountains. And somehow, everyone else found out, which is actually a good thing. Your new boss lets you get away with more than you should, to make sure you don't cast the spell as a last fuck you. The lads have even started calling you Terrormake, for what you can unleash. Gain an extended doom clock. You're able to fail two extra times without the quest ending.
[] The Teacher: A while back, you looked around at your life, and went 'you know what could make this better? An apprentice.' So, you grabbed one of the young uns that were hanging around the tribe, and decided to teach them some stuff, wait for their inevitable betrayal, and then eat them. Weirdly enough, that inevitable betrayal never came. Instead, you taught your apprentice everything that you could and sent them off on their own journey to learn stuff that you couldn't teach them, all without them even trying to eat you. A short while back, they returned from their journey and made a beeline straight for you, saying that they wanted to work for you as a research assistant. Obviously, you accepted. It's still kind of weird though, normally ogres don't really stay 'loyal' to their teachers. You sure didn't. It's something strange enough to warrant a Name, since the lads are now calling you The Teacher for pulling it off. Gain an extra hero unit, one completely loyal to you.
A/N: Took a bit, but it's out now. Plan voting only please, and this time you can vote for more than one plan. Huge thanks once again to @Xantalos and @Swordomatic for looking this over and helping me make it better.
As always, if you have any questions, please ask.
No shit, right?
After all, what else would you be? One of those spiky stunties from up north? One of those irrelevant swamp lizards that nobody's cared about in generations?
Yeah, no, the thought alone is enough to make you laugh. As if you'd be anything as stupid as those guys.
Instead, you're part of the biggest, toughest, hungriest race on the planet. And you gotta say, life is pretty damn good.
See, the thing about surviving in an ogre tribe is that if you aren't useful in some way, you're gonna get eaten. Ergo, the best way to not get eaten is to make yourself useful. And for you, that usefulness didn't come around through being another dumb bruiser for your Tyrant to boss around.
Nah, you realized early on that while you might not have been any stronger than the average ogre, you were a hell of a lot smarter.
So you decided to focus on that.
Instead of beating up other members of your tribe to show where exactly you stood in the pecking order, you found ogres with the skills you needed so you could prove that you'd actually be useful to the tribe, and you learned from them.
The first guy you studied under was a hunter, Krark Beastpuncher. He was an old ogre, one that'd been around longer than the last two tyrants. He'd come around the tribe every so often, bring back a few trophies from his hunts, the parts of animals that didn't taste so good, then spend a few days bragging about his latest kill while every damn ogre in the tribe young enough to not know better desperately tried to show off to him. All of em wanted to be his apprentice, but no matter what they did, Krark always left alone, alone except for whatever tame beast he had with him.
Of course, you were different. See, you'd noticed something. All those other ogres did stupid shit to 'prove their worth'. You just waited until he was about to leave and asked.
And it worked!
Krark shrugged, took you on as an apprentice and emergency food supply, and taught you everything he knew. You learned tracking, survival skills, stealth, a hell of a lot of fighting, but most importantly, you learned Krark's secret skill, Beastpunching.
...You do have to admit it's kind of a stupid secret, especially since the name of the technique was also the name of Krark's title, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that you learned how to punch the beasties of the Mountains in just the right way to get them to listen to you and do what you say. There's a bit more to it than that, but at the end of the day it's mostly just punching and a bit of yelling.
Not long after Krark taught you Beastpunching, the two of you were caught in the middle of a rock blizzard, which was exactly what it sounded like. After eating all of your tamed beasts, the two of you turned to the only food left available. Each other. Krark was a master at killing shit, but he was old, old and weak. You made it quick.
He was a good teacher, Krark. Out of respect, you didn't even eat his skull, just the rest of his body and the meat on his head.
Your next teacher was a Leadbelcher, Mulg Cannonbite. Mulg was weird, even for Leadbelchers. He didn't just go to the nearest Firebelly when his cannon got messed up or when he needed more ammo, he figured out how to fix it himself. Apparently he just didn't like firebellies, something about em rubbed him the wrong way.
Either way, you asked if he could teach you how to make and fix cannons if you brought him food every now and then, and he accepted. In exchange for a few Mournfangs every now and then, Mulg taught you the secrets of weaponry and metal, and not just cannons either.
Apparently, Mulg was hiding a bunch of knowledge for whatever reason, and he decided to teach you all of it. You learned how to make the scraplaunchers that some of the weedier Gnoblars used, how to beat metal into shape for armor and weapons, and yeah, even how to make crude cannons and cannonballs.
Even more than that, you learned the formula for blasting powder, or Mulg's version of it. Take some Mournfang bones, crush em up and mix that with some volcano rocks, add some charcoal, douse the entire thing in stomach acid, and boom.
Heh, literally boom. Since it's blasting powder.
Eventually though, the inevitable happened. Mulg taught you all he knew, after which he tried to eat you. Something about him doubling his knowledge by eating someone with as much knowledge as him.
To be honest, you weren't really paying that much attention, and it was pretty stupid anyways. Everyone knew that the only way to get stuff other than a full belly from eating brains was to be a Butcher and do some magic on the brains first, and no matter how smart he was, Mulg wasn't a Butcher.
Anyways, you killed Mulg with a surprise Mournfang corpse to the chest, and ate him. Left his skull alone though, same as with Krark. Mulg was a pretty good teacher and it wasn't like he tried to do something bad.
Your final teacher wasn't even an ogre, it was a book. Kind of.
Some Butcher by the name of Rakk Drakegnawer apparently decided to write down exactly how he became a Butcher, step by step, for whatever fuckin reason. But hey, you weren't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, so you just kinda shrugged, read the book on how to become magic, and went at it.
It was actually pretty simple, now that you think about it. There was basically only one actual step, figuring out how to send some of your meals to the Maw instead of to your belly. Of course, simple doesn't mean easy, and that step was a lot harder than you thought it would be.
The first big problem was wrapping your head around giving food to anyone else, even the Maw. it was your food, in your belly, and it should be making you full, not anyone else. Eventually though, you decided to try. After all, magic meant you'd get a lot more food in your belly than before. It was simple math.
Then, you had to figure out how to do it. The book wasn't really helpful, it just said something about eating food without eating it. You figured it out though, even if it did take about a year of failed attempts.
All you had to do was eat a bit of food, pray to the Maw inside your head, take that feeling of being full, and push it away.
Felt fuckin awful, but magic was magic and it was worth it. Your first spell was awesome as hell, you ate a brain and then the gnoblars around you died from nightmares, all while a small spark, a tunnel really, opened itself up in the middle of your belly. You were officially a Butcher. And you still had 80% of the book left.
That 80% was rituals and recipes, giving that small spark/tunnel thing specific types of food. Feed it a Saberfang tooth and you got a spell to send a giant bite down on someone. Give it some Troll guts and the lads around you can grow back their bits like a troll can.
It changed based on how you prepared the food too. Combining two food bits gave a spell that was a fusion of the two, like eating a mournfang bone that would make the lads tougher and a bit of charcoal that made you belch out some fire created a spell that made the lads burn anyone that touched em.
The book's been a real good help. Sometimes you question how you even learned to read, but then you just shrug and move on.
Anyways, after becoming a butcher, kind of, you settled into a nice role as 'way too useful to even think about eating', and for a while, your life was good.
Then your Tyrant pissed off one of the BIG names of ogrekind, and most of your tribe got eaten by a coalition of ogres eager to suck up to that Big Name.
You, however, were too useful to be eaten. That Big Name decided that you worked for him now, and had you tell him exactly what you were good at and what your name was.
You told him, and your new Tyrant liked the answer enough that instead of eating you, he decided to set you up with a few lads, a few gnoblars, a few slaves, a load of dosh, and put you to work.
What exactly are you good at?
General Specialty
[] Beastpunching: In the middle of your fight, Krark saw that he was gonna die. Laughing, he decided to pass on the greatest secret of Beastpunching, his ultimate technique. While the two of you tried to eat each other, Krark taught you how to punch beasts in their minds, giving them rewards and punishments for doing the stuff you wanted them to. Right as he was done, you caved his chest in with a punch. Gain Mourne Beasts at TL 3. Weaponry and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
[] Weaponmaking: After you ate Mulg, you looted his hut and found a small journal, one where he wrote down stuff that he didn't even teach you. You spent a few weeks looking through the book, finding ways to make stronger weapons and armor, notes on bigger catapults, and even a formula for better blasting powder. You knew Mulg was holding out on you, but this much? You were actually kinda hurt. Gain Weaponry at TL 3. Mourne Beasts and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
[] Gut Magic: Right as you finished memorizing the book, you accidentally pressed a hidden key, or activated some sort of magic enchantment, and the result was the book getting about a third bigger. You looked through the new pages and found a bunch of more powerful recipes, ways to prepare ingredients that you hadn't even thought of, and even some stuff on how to combine em better. It's some pretty neat stuff. Gain Gut Magic at TL 3. Weaponry and Mourne Beasts start at TL 2.
Personal Specialty
[] Necromancy: Sometimes the dead speak to you. It's kind of weird, hearing their voices, and you always have a bit of a headache, but after punching a ghost right in the head and stealing their ghost journal, you figured out some stuff about your little power. Apparently you're a necromancer, one of those fuckers who raises undead and makes vampires and stuff, though you're nowhere near the level of the masters. But that doesn't mean you're a complete novice, you can raise a few undead, you can do some death bolt shit, it's pretty cool. It's early days yet, but you got a good feeling about this. Gain Necromancy at TL 2.
[] Summoning: There's a lot of times that you're in the Mountains alone, without any food, and you get really hungry. So, eventually, you tried to fix that like most ogres do, yelling really hard for something to come over here. Unlike with most ogres though, it actually worked. You summoned up a big old nasty thing, some sort of being made up of rock and anger. When it attacked you, you kicked its ass, but when you tried to eat it, it disappeared. Being smart like you are, you realized you'd managed to summon an elemental, and after a few more tries, you realized you could summon elementals, and a few minor daemons, just through yelling. Eventually, you even managed to figure out how to trap em in ritual circles and the like, so they don't try to kill you immediately. They still try, but now they can't succeed. Gain Summoning at TL 2.
[] Martial Arts: You met a Cathayan Monk once. Obviously, when faced with a human with nobody else with him, you decided to try and eat him. That spindly little human kicked your ass using a single hand. Then, instead of killing you, he offered to teach you some of his tricks. Obviously, you agreed, and over the next few years you learned all about martial arts, forms, katas, different styles and more importantly, how to create your own through looking at the world around you. One day, you woke up and your teacher was just gone. You haven't seen him since. Gain Martial Arts at TL 2.
First Name
[] Write-in:
Deed Name
[] Pageeater: You ate a bunch of skinny humans once. Well, you ate a bunch of skinny humans a lot more than just once, bunches of skinny humans are one of your bigger food sources after all. But this particular bunch of skinny humans had a stack of books, some sort of tribute to their Tyrant-equivalent, an 'Emperor' or something like that. Obviously you ate those too. The books must've been magic though, since you got a big headache, passed out, and now every so often you get a bit of knowledge on some random stuff, and after a while it goes away. Lads started calling you Pageeater after that. Gain a randomly rolled Specialty at TL 1 each turn. This Specialty lasts until the end of your turn.
[] Terrormake: One day, walking around in the Mountains, you found a thing. Obviously, after not recognizing it, you picked it up, rushed back to your tribe, and looked it up in your big book of Gut Magic. You still have no idea what that thing's made of, or where it came from, but you do know what it's used for. The thing is the component needed to cast the most horrific spell in the history of ogrekind. It's what you need to cast a spell of famine, one that reaches across half the mountains. And somehow, everyone else found out, which is actually a good thing. Your new boss lets you get away with more than you should, to make sure you don't cast the spell as a last fuck you. The lads have even started calling you Terrormake, for what you can unleash. Gain an extended doom clock. You're able to fail two extra times without the quest ending.
[] The Teacher: A while back, you looked around at your life, and went 'you know what could make this better? An apprentice.' So, you grabbed one of the young uns that were hanging around the tribe, and decided to teach them some stuff, wait for their inevitable betrayal, and then eat them. Weirdly enough, that inevitable betrayal never came. Instead, you taught your apprentice everything that you could and sent them off on their own journey to learn stuff that you couldn't teach them, all without them even trying to eat you. A short while back, they returned from their journey and made a beeline straight for you, saying that they wanted to work for you as a research assistant. Obviously, you accepted. It's still kind of weird though, normally ogres don't really stay 'loyal' to their teachers. You sure didn't. It's something strange enough to warrant a Name, since the lads are now calling you The Teacher for pulling it off. Gain an extra hero unit, one completely loyal to you.
A/N: Took a bit, but it's out now. Plan voting only please, and this time you can vote for more than one plan. Huge thanks once again to @Xantalos and @Swordomatic for looking this over and helping me make it better.
As always, if you have any questions, please ask.
Hero Creation
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hero Units:
Hero Units, as the name suggests, are special. They're the ogres that stand head and shoulders above the rest of their kin, rising above the common rabble to be the exemplars of ogrekind, the leaders, the visionaries, the champions, and half a dozen other things.
In other words, hero units are the ogres that get names.
Now, in the case of Grabthar, these hero units are going to be his research assistants, ogres that've been placed under his control by his Tyrant to help him out. They're the ogres that aren't the dumb muscle, researchers in their own right.
Mechanically, Hero Units start out with two tech trees; one from the base three (Gut Magic, Weaponry, Mourne Beasts), and one personal tech tree, which can be basically anything. Both of these start out at TL 2.
Now, the reason I'm telling you this instead of just putting it in the mechanics post (Which I'm working on, I swear it'll be finished soon), is that my betas, @Xantalos and @Swordomatic, have convinced/pressured me to open up hero unit creation to you, the players.
Now, I will say, I do have the hero units on my end (mostly) done, and an update could definitely happen today. But Swordo and Xantalos are way more experienced with this stuff than I am, so I'm gonna just follow their advice.
Now, here's how Hero Unit creation is going to work. You choose one of the three base specialties, choose any personal specialty, and do a small bit of lore, and you have yourself a hero unit.
To help you out, I'll post two of the hero units I have for the next update, so that you have something to reference.
Now I will say, don't feel pressured or anything to create hero units, if I get zero I'll just shrug and post my finished update. If I get some that aren't vetoed because they're too powerful or just don't work for the setting, I'll include them in the vote.
This creation phase is going to be open for about a day, during which time I'll finish the mechanics post and get the rest of the hero unit update done so I can post it tomorrow.
If you have any questions at all, please ask.
Hero Units, as the name suggests, are special. They're the ogres that stand head and shoulders above the rest of their kin, rising above the common rabble to be the exemplars of ogrekind, the leaders, the visionaries, the champions, and half a dozen other things.
In other words, hero units are the ogres that get names.
Now, in the case of Grabthar, these hero units are going to be his research assistants, ogres that've been placed under his control by his Tyrant to help him out. They're the ogres that aren't the dumb muscle, researchers in their own right.
Mechanically, Hero Units start out with two tech trees; one from the base three (Gut Magic, Weaponry, Mourne Beasts), and one personal tech tree, which can be basically anything. Both of these start out at TL 2.
Now, the reason I'm telling you this instead of just putting it in the mechanics post (Which I'm working on, I swear it'll be finished soon), is that my betas, @Xantalos and @Swordomatic, have convinced/pressured me to open up hero unit creation to you, the players.
Now, I will say, I do have the hero units on my end (mostly) done, and an update could definitely happen today. But Swordo and Xantalos are way more experienced with this stuff than I am, so I'm gonna just follow their advice.
Now, here's how Hero Unit creation is going to work. You choose one of the three base specialties, choose any personal specialty, and do a small bit of lore, and you have yourself a hero unit.
To help you out, I'll post two of the hero units I have for the next update, so that you have something to reference.
It's common knowledge in ogre society (or, whatever ogres have that passes for a society) that Firebellies are all fucking insane. Skagg Burninator is perhaps the best example of this, being a Firebelly who, when gifted power over magma and heat, decided that the best use of his new ability was hammering metal into shapes. But, weirdly enough, his crazy paid off. See, Skagg managed to figure out basic metalworking, and nowadays he makes weapons and armor (and also a few rough cannons) for anyone who gives him enough food. Of course, after discovering blasting powder, Skagg went on a week-long rampage through the Mountains that ended after your Tyrant punched him in the gut and decided that he could be useful. Now Skagg works for you, far out of the way of anything important to your Tyrant.
Tech Trees: Weaponry (TL2), Firebelly Magic (TL 2)
Tech Trees: Weaponry (TL2), Firebelly Magic (TL 2)
Gnoblars. Every tribe and every ogre has at least a few, little green goblin things that do whatever an ogre tells them to do. Most ogres, you included, don't really think too much about em, they're just kinda there. Not Kurg Gnobwrangler. See, while most ogres look at gnoblars and see em as nothing more than servants and food, Kurg looked at em and saw… well, still servants and food yeah, but more than that, Kurg saw potential. A pretty good beastpuncher already, Kurg wondered what would happen if he tried beastpunching a Gnoblar. The resulting fallout destroyed a mountain, killed half a tribe, and had Greasus fucking Goldtooth himself say that he'd eat anyone who talked about it. What it also did was cause Kurg to start figuring exactly what the fuck was up with Orcs and Goblins, and now, working for you and far away from anything valuable, he's become a pretty good expert on em.
Tech Trees: Mourne Beasts (TL 2), Greenskins (TL 2)
Tech Trees: Mourne Beasts (TL 2), Greenskins (TL 2)
Now I will say, don't feel pressured or anything to create hero units, if I get zero I'll just shrug and post my finished update. If I get some that aren't vetoed because they're too powerful or just don't work for the setting, I'll include them in the vote.
This creation phase is going to be open for about a day, during which time I'll finish the mechanics post and get the rest of the hero unit update done so I can post it tomorrow.
If you have any questions at all, please ask.
Character Creation: Hero Units
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Plan Crouching Ogre, Hidden Badass
-[X] Write-in: Grabthar
-[X] The Teacher: A while back, you looked around at your life, and went 'you know what could make this better? An apprentice.' So, you grabbed one of the young uns that were hanging around the tribe, and decided to teach them some stuff, wait for their inevitable betrayal, and then eat them. Weirdly enough, that inevitable betrayal never came. Instead, you taught your apprentice everything that you could and sent them off on their own journey to learn stuff that you couldn't teach them, all without them even trying to eat you. A short while back, they returned from their journey and made a beeline straight for you, saying that they wanted to work for you as a research assistant. Obviously, you accepted. It's still kind of weird though, normally ogres don't really stay 'loyal' to their teachers. You sure didn't. It's something strange enough to warrant a Name, since the lads are now calling you The Teacher for pulling it off. Gain an extra hero unit, one completely loyal to you.
-[X] Weaponmaking: After you ate Mulg, you looted his hut and found a small journal, one where he wrote down stuff that he didn't even teach you. You spent a few weeks looking through the book, finding ways to make stronger weapons and armor, notes on bigger catapults, and even a formula for better blasting powder. You knew Mulg was holding out on you, but this much? You were actually kinda hurt. Gain Weaponry at TL 3. Mourne Beasts and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
-[X] Martial Arts: You met a Cathayan Monk once. Obviously, when faced with a human with nobody else with him, you decided to try and eat him. That spindly little human kicked your ass using a single hand. Then, instead of killing you, he offered to teach you some of his tricks. Obviously, you agreed, and over the next few years you learned all about martial arts, forms, katas, different styles and more importantly, how to create your own through looking at the world around you. One day, you woke up and your teacher was just gone. You haven't seen him since. Gain Martial Arts at TL 2.
-[X] Write-in: Grabthar
-[X] The Teacher: A while back, you looked around at your life, and went 'you know what could make this better? An apprentice.' So, you grabbed one of the young uns that were hanging around the tribe, and decided to teach them some stuff, wait for their inevitable betrayal, and then eat them. Weirdly enough, that inevitable betrayal never came. Instead, you taught your apprentice everything that you could and sent them off on their own journey to learn stuff that you couldn't teach them, all without them even trying to eat you. A short while back, they returned from their journey and made a beeline straight for you, saying that they wanted to work for you as a research assistant. Obviously, you accepted. It's still kind of weird though, normally ogres don't really stay 'loyal' to their teachers. You sure didn't. It's something strange enough to warrant a Name, since the lads are now calling you The Teacher for pulling it off. Gain an extra hero unit, one completely loyal to you.
-[X] Weaponmaking: After you ate Mulg, you looted his hut and found a small journal, one where he wrote down stuff that he didn't even teach you. You spent a few weeks looking through the book, finding ways to make stronger weapons and armor, notes on bigger catapults, and even a formula for better blasting powder. You knew Mulg was holding out on you, but this much? You were actually kinda hurt. Gain Weaponry at TL 3. Mourne Beasts and Gut Magic start at TL 2.
-[X] Martial Arts: You met a Cathayan Monk once. Obviously, when faced with a human with nobody else with him, you decided to try and eat him. That spindly little human kicked your ass using a single hand. Then, instead of killing you, he offered to teach you some of his tricks. Obviously, you agreed, and over the next few years you learned all about martial arts, forms, katas, different styles and more importantly, how to create your own through looking at the world around you. One day, you woke up and your teacher was just gone. You haven't seen him since. Gain Martial Arts at TL 2.
You're Grabthar the Teacher.
Your former tribe and Tyrant got absolutely fucking annihilated by your new boss, and now you work for him. Of course, your new boss doesn't exactly trust you yet, and to be honest you can't really blame him
Not because he thinks you're 'loyal' to your old boss. Nah, loyalty's for humies, stunties, and your students. Ogres are loyal to their Tyrants up until those Tyrants aren't fit to lead anymore, which normally happens when another Tyrant eats em, or a bruiser or a different ogre beats the Tyrant in a fight, or they get the Maw angry at em, or…
Look, the gist of the whole thing is that ogres are loyal to their Tyrant, but once a Tyrant stops being a Tyrant, then those ogres aren't loyal to em anymore. It's loyalty to the office, not to the ogre that holds it.
But anyways, the reason that your Tyrant doesn't trust you isn't because he thinks you're not loyal. It's because he thinks you're insane.
And, honestly you can't exactly blame him.
After all, compared to most other ogres, you're pretty damn different. For one, you're actually smart, and you know a lot of shit that most ogres don't know. For another, you're technically a Butcher, but also not really because you left most of the priest stuff to another Butcher. Now, you're still a proper Maw-worshipping ogre, that's not changed, you just aren't really a priest.
For pretty obvious reasons, your boss thought that was fucking insane.
Other than that, your boss was pretty damn confused by the fact that you willingly tested out blasting powder and actively tried to figure out how to make it more explosive. Well, that wasn't the real problem, finding better ways to blow things up is perfectly fine for ogres. No, his main reason for thinking you were crazy for your blasting powder experiments was that you were standing near them.
Which, yeah, that's pretty fair.
Weirdly enough, the one part of your toolkit that you expected to cause the most problems wasn't actually a problem. To most ogres, Beastpunching was absolutely fucking insane. After all, it was punching animals and not eating them. But your Tyrant could actually follow the logic on that one. If you have animals to help you get food, you get more food over time than if you'd just eaten the animals helping you get food.
It still didn't make up for the other two things though, which is why instead of keeping you around where he might be caught in the crossfire of your experiments, your boss sent you to a 'research facility' in his territory, one far, far away from his base.
And with you came a bunch of gnoblars, some random ogres nobody cared about to act as dumb muscle to do basically whatever you wanted, and two of the other ogres who your boss decided were too useful to die but too crazy to be near him.
When you got there, you found your student waiting for you. Apparently they'd figured out where you were going and beaten you there.
It was a pretty nice surprise, even if it was creepy as fuck. After all, not even you knew where you were going until your guide took you there. Ultimately though, you shrugged. An extra research assistant, especially one loyal to you alone, would never be a bad thing.
Who are your Research Assistants?
Voting Structure: Plan Voting, Choose three hero units and then choose one of these hero units to be your student. You may only choose one student.
[] Skagg Burninator: It's common knowledge in ogre society (or, whatever ogres have that passes for a society) that Firebellies are all fucking insane. Skagg Burninator is perhaps the best example of this, being a Firebelly who, when gifted power over magma and heat, decided that the best use of his new ability was hammering metal into shapes. But, weirdly enough, his crazy paid off. See, Skagg managed to figure out basic metalworking, and nowadays he makes weapons and armor (and also a few rough cannons) for anyone who gives him enough food. Of course, after discovering blasting powder, Skagg went on a week-long rampage through the Mountains that ended after your Tyrant punched him in the gut and decided that he could be useful. Now Skagg works for you, far out of the way of anything important to your Tyrant.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Weaponry (TL2), Firebelly Magic (TL 2)
[] Kurg Gnobwrangler: Gnoblars. Every tribe and every ogre has at least a few, little green goblin things that do whatever an ogre tells them to do. Most ogres, you included, don't really think too much about em, they're just kinda there. Not Kurg Gnobwrangler. See, while most ogres look at gnoblars and see em as nothing more than servants and food, Kurg looked at em and saw… well, still servants and food yeah, but more than that, Kurg saw potential. A pretty good beastpuncher already, Kurg wondered what would happen if he tried beastpunching a Gnoblar. The resulting fallout destroyed a mountain, killed half a tribe, and had Greasus fucking Goldtooth himself say that he'd eat anyone who talked about it. What it also did was cause Kurg to start figuring exactly what the fuck was up with Orcs and Goblins, and now, working for you and far away from anything valuable, he's become a pretty good expert on em.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Mourne Beasts (TL 2), Greenskins (TL 2)
[] Brag Stormeater: Some mountains are alive. They move, they eat stuff, and an ogre who tunnels deep enough can eat its heart. Sometimes this means cool powers, sometimes this means cool magic items, but it always means you're considered an enormous badass. Brag, a Butcher who wanted to prove that he was a badass, decided to try it out. Of course, Brag was always a bit of an idiot, and instead of tunneling into a living mountain, he tunneled into a Dragon Ogre. Somehow, this didn't wake up the Dragon Ogre, and Brag managed to actually eat its heart, brain, and the rest of its body. And, since Brag is the luckiest fuck in existence, he got weather powers out of the whole deal. Not the blue wind stuff that some humie mages use, straight up lightning and rain and thunder. Of course, Brag isn't the best with his magic, and after celebrating his new powers, he accidentally zapped your Tyrant's Gnoblar. Now he works for you, at least until your boss doesn't want to punch him on sight.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Gut Magic (TL 2), Weather Magic (TL 2)
[] Vash the Armored: Ogres visit a lot of places, sometimes as Maneater mercenaries, sometimes as raiders, sometimes as both. Most of the time it's to eat a bunch of new food and get paid for doing so. Vash's journey to Ind was different. See, Vash had taken a few too many bonks to the head, so he decided to go into Ind permanently, find actual work there as some sort of guard and get paid a fuckton of food. That was the last anyone had heard of from Vash for a while. Then, a few months ago, Vash rolled up back to the Mountains with some fancy new armor and a weird look in his eye. Apparently he'd become a Marut, a temple guard fitted with magic armor that only he could use. He'd had a pretty good time of it too, up until his temple got annihilated by an army, with him as the only survivor. He didn't have a job anymore, so he returned to his former Tyrant, your Tyrant. Your boss didn't like the look of his face, so he sent Vash over to you, and now he's a research assistant, one who knows a lot about armor, weapons, and the god magic of Ind.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Weaponry (TL 2), Indic Divinity (TL 2)
[] Fulb Stitchup: Everyone gets hurt, and most of the time you either get a Butcher to give you some magic regeneration or you just love with the pain. Fulg figured there had to be another way. After all, how were the weak humies living with their injuries without magic or an ogres toughness? Already a good Beastpuncher, Fulg was getting annoyed at having to replace his hurt beasts, so he figured out how to close their wounds with sharp sticks and leaves. It worked too, and Fulg was gonna be the next big thing in the tribe, personal 'doctor' to the Tyrant and his Bruisers. Then people found out that Fulg's 'medicine' hurt, and that was the end of Fulg's career. Now he works for you, and despite the rumors, he's pretty good at what he does.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Mourne Beasts (TL 2), Medicine (TL 2)
[] Grak Gardenback: The one thing every Butcher needs is a supply of ingredients. Some Butchers hunt for their own, others have ogres get ingredients for them, but every Butcher has to have some way to get them. Grak Gardenback decided to go another way. See, he knew that plants grow from the ground, so Grak wondered why he couldn't just take the ground along with the plants, eat only a bit of the plant, and have an infinite supply of magic ingredients. Since nobody could give him a good answer, that's exactly what Grak did, taking an old cart, strapping it to his back, and using it to grow plants, for an infinite supply of of plant based spells. Of course, Mourne plants are as dangerous as the animals, and after one of his plants bit a Bruiser, Grak now works for you.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Gut Magic (TL 2), Mourne Plants (TL 2)
---(Player Created Ogres)---
Khagra Rateater
[] Khagra Rateater: Most Ogres consider the Skaven to be annoying to fight and somewhat bland as far as meat goes. Khagra, as a dedicated Butcher, believes this to only be a challenge to her cooking skills. Khagra believes that the preparation of food is just as important as the consumption of it and she definitely wishes to prove it. The large amounts of Skaven corpses left after battles have allowed her to have a great degree of experimentation on what is usually considered a bland dinner and she has become a master of Skaven preparation. A side effect of her preferred targets of Skaven clans is interest in how Skaven weapons and magic function, especially the catalyst to most of them, Warpstone, that most dangerous of things. If it could be used to make Ogres, and more importantly the dinner table, greater, all the risks would be worth it.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Gut Magic (TL2), Warpstone (TL2)
[] Skragg Bilgebelly: Ogres aren't exactly known for their seamanship but there are exceptions. Skragg joined a band of would be Maneaters in search of gold, glory and of course exotic meat. During the groups journey they eventually reached the Pirate Principality of Sartosa where they would disband over a dispute over back pay (i.e. how much fatback each member was entitled to). Now without the beefy companionship of other ogres, Skragg was persuaded to joint the crew of the infamous pirate Short Gold Giovanni. Over the course of his seven year stay with the crew Skragg would gain an intimate understanding of his ship's weapons and would develop an obsession with sailing vessels. Electing to return home to the Mountains of Mourn to persuade other ogres to assist him in the building of a ship and join him on a journey across the seas in search of plunder and high quality seafood, Skragg has been passed between various tribes in an attempt to get rid of him. Then your new boss attached him to your research efforts in an attempt to both make him finally shut up and to make some matter of productive use of his knowledge.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Weaponry (TL2), Shipbuilding (TL2)
[] Grok Speakeasy: Most ogres aren't known as what you could call "great conversationalists. Grok Speakeasy wasn't most ogres though. Rather than the normal manner of Beastpunching favored by tribes, Grok could simply sit and talk at a beast of his choice. And they'd listen. This method of capturing the attention of animals also has some effect on other creatures; as Grok was able to talk a wayward Alchemist that had wandered far from the protections of the Empire into teaching him what he could learn. The alchemist had been enthralled with the fact that Grok could easily get hold of reagents and parts of creatures that would otherwise take whole teams of hunters to bring down, and was capable of harvesting them from living creatures to boot! Unfortunately, after a bit of an incident, Grok ate his teacher. He's been moving from territory to territory, often being forced to leave less because of his own action than because the small menagerie that he's gathered strips the area of food almost as fast as he does. Now your Boss has him working under you.
--[] Student
Tech Trees: Mourne Beasts (TL 2), Alchemy (TL2)
A/N: Alright, update is finally done. Now, I know a lot of you are going to be asking why we didn't choose your Ogre as a Hero Unit candidate, and it's simple. We got way more Hero Units than we were expecting.
There's absolutely no way this vote would go well if each proposed ogre was included, so myself, @Swordomatic, and @Xantalos went about the task of choosing three player created hero units to add to the vote. We looked at what would fit the best, we looked at system mechanics, at some points we even rolled dice, and at the end, we came through with these three.
I hope this explanation makes sense and that nobody is angry or hurt that their creation wasn't chosen. If I could reasonably put every player-made hero unit in this vote, I would.
As always, if you have any questions please ask.
Last edited:
Temporary Threadmark: Explanation and also Mechanics Post is finally up
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So.
It's been five days and I haven't put up the next character creation vote. Most people, rightfully so, should probably be thinking 'kaboom, you better have a damn good reason for leaving us hanging like this'.
Luckily, I do.
Not personal struggle or anything, no, I've just spent these last five days working on perfecting the mechanics post (and also the mechanics) of this quest before chargen ended, and now I'm finally done.
It should be in the first informational post, so yeah, you might want to check it out.
The actual update's gonna be out tomorrow, because right now I need a bit of a break to get my brain back into narrative stuff instead of mechanical stuff.
It's been five days and I haven't put up the next character creation vote. Most people, rightfully so, should probably be thinking 'kaboom, you better have a damn good reason for leaving us hanging like this'.
Luckily, I do.
Not personal struggle or anything, no, I've just spent these last five days working on perfecting the mechanics post (and also the mechanics) of this quest before chargen ended, and now I'm finally done.
It should be in the first informational post, so yeah, you might want to check it out.
The actual update's gonna be out tomorrow, because right now I need a bit of a break to get my brain back into narrative stuff instead of mechanical stuff.
Character Creation: Project Choice
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[] Plan Plants and Animals
-[] Skagg Burninator: It's common knowledge in ogre society (or, whatever ogres have that passes for a society) that Firebellies are all fucking insane. Skagg Burninator is perhaps the best example of this, being a Firebelly who, when gifted power over magma and heat, decided that the best use of his new ability was hammering metal into shapes. But, weirdly enough, his crazy paid off. See, Skagg managed to figure out basic metalworking, and nowadays he makes weapons and armor (and also a few rough cannons) for anyone who gives him enough food. Of course, after discovering blasting powder, Skagg went on a week-long rampage through the Mountains that ended after your Tyrant punched him in the gut and decided that he could be useful. Now Skagg works for you, far out of the way of anything important to your Tyrant.
--[] Student
-[] Grok Speakeasy: Most ogres aren't known as what you could call "great conversationalists. Grok Speakeasy wasn't most ogres though. Rather than the normal manner of Beastpunching favored by tribes, Grok could simply sit and talk at a beast of his choice. And they'd listen. This method of capturing the attention of animals also has some effect on other creatures; as Grok was able to talk a wayward Alchemist that had wandered far from the protections of the Empire into teaching him what he could learn. The alchemist had been enthralled with the fact that Grok could easily get hold of reagents and parts of creatures that would otherwise take whole teams of hunters to bring down, and was capable of harvesting them from living creatures to boot! Unfortunately, after a bit of an incident, Grok ate his teacher. He's been moving from territory to territory, often being forced to leave less because of his own action than because the small menagerie that he's gathered strips the area of food almost as fast as he does. Now your Boss has him working under you.
-[] Grak Gardenback: The one thing every Butcher needs is a supply of ingredients. Some Butchers hunt for their own, others have ogres get ingredients for them, but every Butcher has to have some way to get them. Grok Gardenback decided to go another way. See, he knew that plants grow from the ground, so Grok wondered why he couldn't just take the ground along with the plants, eat only a bit of the plant, and have an infinite supply of magic ingredients. Since nobody could give him a good answer, that's exactly what Grok did, taking an old cart, strapping it to his back, and using it to grow plants, for an infinite supply of of plant based spells. Of course, Mourne plants are as dangerous as the animals, and after one of his plants bit a Bruiser, Grok now works for you.
-[] Skagg Burninator: It's common knowledge in ogre society (or, whatever ogres have that passes for a society) that Firebellies are all fucking insane. Skagg Burninator is perhaps the best example of this, being a Firebelly who, when gifted power over magma and heat, decided that the best use of his new ability was hammering metal into shapes. But, weirdly enough, his crazy paid off. See, Skagg managed to figure out basic metalworking, and nowadays he makes weapons and armor (and also a few rough cannons) for anyone who gives him enough food. Of course, after discovering blasting powder, Skagg went on a week-long rampage through the Mountains that ended after your Tyrant punched him in the gut and decided that he could be useful. Now Skagg works for you, far out of the way of anything important to your Tyrant.
--[] Student
-[] Grok Speakeasy: Most ogres aren't known as what you could call "great conversationalists. Grok Speakeasy wasn't most ogres though. Rather than the normal manner of Beastpunching favored by tribes, Grok could simply sit and talk at a beast of his choice. And they'd listen. This method of capturing the attention of animals also has some effect on other creatures; as Grok was able to talk a wayward Alchemist that had wandered far from the protections of the Empire into teaching him what he could learn. The alchemist had been enthralled with the fact that Grok could easily get hold of reagents and parts of creatures that would otherwise take whole teams of hunters to bring down, and was capable of harvesting them from living creatures to boot! Unfortunately, after a bit of an incident, Grok ate his teacher. He's been moving from territory to territory, often being forced to leave less because of his own action than because the small menagerie that he's gathered strips the area of food almost as fast as he does. Now your Boss has him working under you.
-[] Grak Gardenback: The one thing every Butcher needs is a supply of ingredients. Some Butchers hunt for their own, others have ogres get ingredients for them, but every Butcher has to have some way to get them. Grok Gardenback decided to go another way. See, he knew that plants grow from the ground, so Grok wondered why he couldn't just take the ground along with the plants, eat only a bit of the plant, and have an infinite supply of magic ingredients. Since nobody could give him a good answer, that's exactly what Grok did, taking an old cart, strapping it to his back, and using it to grow plants, for an infinite supply of of plant based spells. Of course, Mourne plants are as dangerous as the animals, and after one of his plants bit a Bruiser, Grok now works for you.
This is what you have to work with.
A butcher who decided to grow plants on his back, a beastpuncher who doesn't punch beasts, and a firebelly with an unhealthy fascination with making shit go boom.
...It could be worse. It could be a lot worse.
And if you're being actually fair, it's not like any of em are bad at what they do.
Grak Gardenback's insane plan of growing reagents and meal ingredients is pretty out there, sure, but you'd talked to him while your boss sent the both of you out to your 'research lab', and he's got a damn good grasp on Butchery, though it's obviously damn focused on plant ingredients, mainly because it's not like you can grow a meat plant. Probably. There's a lot of crazy shit in the Mountains after all.
But, viability of a tree that grows meat aside, Grak's figured out some pretty damn cool shit with plants. You're not entirely sure you understand any of it, but that's just different specializations. When you tried to talk about the basic principles of Katas and stances and body conditioning Grak's eyes glazed over and you thought he'd died for a second. If he hadn't woken up from his trance a few seconds later, you'd've probably declared him dead and then just eaten him along with his plants.
You're pretty glad he woke up before you could actually bite down. Even if Grak would've been delicious, eating a research assistant would probably mean that your funding would've been cut, and from there it was just a short jump to getting eaten yourself. And that's not even talking about the fact that you finally had some intelligent conversation for once!
Yeah, it'd've been a shame to eat him.
After that little episode, you talked a bit more with Grak before the second assistant you were assigned met up with you, followed by an entire mawdamned pack of sabertusks.
Grok Speakeasy was also weird as fuck, both for the fact that his beastpunching wasn't based on punching animals in just the right way to get them to listen to you and also because he was apparently an alchemist, but after a bit of talking, you managed to get used to his particular brand of crazy.
You still don't really get the appeal of talking to something instead of just hitting it, but you suppose that's partly because of your martial arts training. There's a weird amount of similarities between beastpunching and regular punching, but there's also enough differences that Grok's method of taming Mourne monsters is closer to beastpunching than regular punching is.
...Yeah that didn't even make sense to you, but you knew what you meant, and that's what matters.
Anyways, you talked with Grok a bit, and he has some pretty unique preconceptions about beastpunching. Apparently, he was taught by an armless Hunter, who had to use a different method to make himself combat effective, talking to sabertusks and mournfangs and other shit and convincing them to help him out. It's interesting, comparing and contrasting your different styles, but it's a bit too late for you to switch over to Grok's method. You're already too set in your ways, and besides, it's not like beastpunching doesn't work.
What you were more interested in though was Grok's 'alchemy'. It's really damn similar to Gut Magic, except instead of eating the ingredients to make magic happen, Grok puts those ingredients in a pot, cooks em up using a special technique, and then he has a bunch of liquid magic that he calls 'potions'. From what you can tell, they're basically spells in a bottle, though they're normally weaker than the same Gut Magic effect.
There was more to this 'alchemy' business than what Grok told you, of course, but before you could try and get it out of him, you got to the valley that'd be your 'research lab' for the foreseeable future.
To put it politely, it needed some work. To talk normally and not use the 'manners' bullshit your Laoshi tried to drill into your skull, it was a fucking mess.
...Alright you may have been exaggerating a bit. The Valley itself wasn't that bad, lots of nice trees, some rocks, a river, all that good shit. Food too. Not much, a few herds of yaks and mountain cows, but enough for a nice snack.
No, the real problem was the multiple explosive craters littering the place. Craters that, according to your guides, hadn't been there earlier.
Of course, even while you and your lads and research assistants were readying to drop a face smashing on whatever fucked up your new home, you saw what (well, who really) had just made a right fucking mess of your valley.
Then you sighed, told your minions and assistants to stand down, and walked into your 'lab; alone and unarmed. Because you'd recognize that ugly ass burning mug anywhere.
After all, it belonged to your student.
Skagg Burninator was always fucking insane, but it wasn't like that impacted his skills at all. A few decades back, he was just another runt, albeit one who had the balls to ask you to teach him. Seeing the parallels, you laughed, accepted, and made damn sure to not repeat any of your teachers' mistakes in terms of teaching a student that would kill them.
He picked shit up fast, but especially blasting powder and incendiaries. Skagg loved fire, to a pretty unhealthy degree if you were being honest. It didn't stop him from learning the rest of what you were willing to teach him, cannon, chariots, all that shit, but he was never as interested in it as he was with stuff that blew up or ignited.
In retrospect, it's not that big of a surprise that after he went on a 'pilgrimage' or whatever the fuck he called it, Skagg became a Firebelly.
The last you'd heard from him was a few years back, when he turned up at your camp to show you that he'd completed his trials and was a full fledged Volcano Priest. You patted him on the back, made sure that he wasn't gonna try and eat you, and sent him on his way with a new incendiary recipe.
And now he'd turned up at your new 'research lab', and made himself at home.
You had a feeling you knew why he was here, but you wanted to hear it from Skagg. So you asked him. And his response was exactly what you expected.
Skagg was here to be one of your research assistants. He'd somehow figured out where you were going to set up shop, beat you to it, and after about an hour of waiting, started blowing stuff up out of boredom. Then, a few hours after that, you got to the valley.
After hearing all of that, you just kind of shrugged and moved on, a common occurrence when dealing with Skagg.
After waving the rest of your minions and assistants down into the valley, making sure that they knew that, yes, Skagg was now working for you, and confirming that, no, they couldn't kill him, you ordered your lads to get to work fixing this place up into a proper lab.
It took most of a month to do properly, but through a mix of yelling, punching, and judicious use of gnoblar labor, you finally got your little valley into an adequate shape.
It wasn't anything too fancy, really. Most of your new 'lab' was just a regular ogre tribe setup, a bunch of huts around some fires, you and your assistants getting the biggest and best huts. The gnoblars set up basically wherever they could, and you didn't really care enough about them to look into their homes more.
You also still had to hunt shit, seeing as the yaks and mountain cows lasted your lads and you about 2 days, and that was only because a bunch of them kept running and hiding when you tried to eat them. Luckily though, there was a bunch of animals in the nearby valleys, and the nature of the Mountains meant that the food would keep on coming back, no matter how much you ate.
Beyond the basic stuff needed to live, you'd managed to make a bunch of cool-ass research stations. Forges, monster pens, altars to the maw, even a small kwoon, all of it isolated away from your houses.
Your assistants put up their own research locations too, Grak cordoning off a bit of the valley to transform into a huge garden, Grok setting up a cauldron and some shelves to make an alchemical workshop, and Skragg making a shrine to the Firebelly for his shit.
After that, all that was really left was waiting for your boss to send over his orders. So you waited. And you waited. And you waited some more, for three fucking months, before your boss finally remembered you existed, and sent an ogre down with a message with orders.
After you read your boss's orders, you swore a bit. Well, you swore a lot. And after your lab assistants read your boss's orders, they also swore a lot. And then your minions, the regular ogres, started swearing too. They didn't read the letter, because they can't read, they just wanted to be included.
The gnoblars also probably started swearing, but frankly you just didn't (and still don't) give enough of a shit about them to care about what they were doing.
After that little bit of foul language that'd have had your Laoshi kick you in the head if he heard it, you got to work.
After all, no matter how much you bitch and moan about it, orders from a Tyrant are orders you have to follow.
It's that or getting eaten, anyways.
What orders did you get? (This determines your starting Project)
[] Lad-Smacker: Some of my lads've gotten pretty fuckin' uppity recently. They ain't tried anything yet, and they ain't close to trying anything, but eventually maybe one of my Bruisers is gonna take some of my lads and try and start a bit of an uprising, if you catch my drift. Now, I can smack em down all day every day, but it gets a bit annoying if I have to do it a lot. So I want you to make me something that I can use to keep my lads in line. Don't care what, as long as it gets the job done. Gain Project: Weapon of Mass Beatdowns (AOE 1-v-many nonlethal weapon) [3 turns]
[] Lad-Booster: My lads are pretty strong, but they could always be stronger. And seeing as it's about time for a good scrap to extend my territory, I'm starting to find myself in need of a big ole boost to their fighting ability. I don't care what you do or how you do it, just make my lads better in a fight, by any means necessary. As long as we can use it over and over again, if it's a one-use thing it ain't really valuable. Don't care how, just get the job done. Gain Project: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Mass producible combat strength upgrade) [3 turns]
[] Lunch-Grabber: As you know, I'm hungry. I'm always hungry. Every ogre is. And while I get a fuckton of grub whenever I want it, I could be getting more. Don't care about the lads getting this type of treatment, I'd actually prefer if they didn't, keeps em on their toes. But yeah, get me something that can get me more food, I don't care how as long as it works and it keeps on working. Doesn't even need to be too much food, as long as it's food and not some other random shit. Gain Project: Hungry Hungry Tyrants (Multi use food grabber/maker) [3 turns]
[] Foe-Beater: Got another Tyrant moving in on my turf, and while I could fuck him up something fierce with nothing but my bare hands and a gut plate, I didn't become a Tyrant by being a fucking moron. So, I want something that'll stack the proverbial deck in my favor, if you catch my drift. If you don't, what the fuck am I not eating you for, but also I need something, don't care what, that'll get me an advantage over that other Tyrant that's gonna try and kill me in two or three years. Don't care how, just get the job done. Gain Project: Fuck-em-up-inator (Single Ogre 1v1 combat enhancement) [3 turns]
[] Lad-Runner: My lads are pretty damn slow. In the Mountains, this means they're at a disadvantage against literally everything. Speed's king out here, it's why we got so many lads on chariots or animals. So, whenever I decide I need to go to war next, I want my lads rolling deep with some of the best speed enhancers you can get. I don't care what they are, they just need to be mass producible and work more than once. No point if this shit breaks down after its first battle, eh? Gain Project: Fast and Furious (Mass producible combat speed enhancer) [3 turns]
A/N: This update fought me every step of the way, but it's finally out, and it's the last Chargen update too. Once again, huge thanks to @Xantalos and @Swordomatic for their help with the update.
As always, if you have any questions, please ask.
Turn 1: Research Phase
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So.
This is your life now. Head of a research group that spends their time doing whatever the fuck your Tyrant wants on pain of being eaten.
...Ain't really that different from what you did before, just a little less freedom and a lot more resources. Also you get to actually talk to ogres who aren't complete fucking idiots, which is a damn welcome change.
Well, technically, being a hermit who only came back to the tribe to refuel and drop off whatever your latest project was meant that you didn't have to talk to anybody at all, either smart or dumber than rocks.
Still, that's not really important, because intelligent conversation has been a damn good change from the silence that used to be your normal routine. So, you know, being a 'research head' ain't all bad. It's really just the same basic shit you've always been doing. Stay useful and stay alive.
...Being forced to work on shit you can't choose still fucking sucks, but if it's a choice between that and being alive, you know which one you're going to choose.
But that's enough philosophizing for a week at least. Seriously, you're starting to remind yourself of your Laoshi, and that's never a good sign.
For all that he was incredibly powerful, he kept on going on and on about 'balance' and 'harmony' and 'fairness' and 'morals', and all of that other shit you don't care about.
Speaking of things you do care about though, a few hours back, you got your budget. Or, technically, you got the big fuckin caravans worth of supplies and rare goods and food and metal and building materials that comprise the first installment of your budget.
It's admittedly not that much, two or so wagons full, but it has basically everything you need, metal, wood, animals, testing supplies, glass jars that were looted from a few unlucky Cathayan merchants, the corpses of a few unlucky Cathayan merchants (barely even gnawed on too!), and most important of all, food, enough to keep your whole camp running for just long enough to get a stable supply of the stuff figured out.
The sight of all your loot (even if you didn't technically loot it), was nearly enough to make you drop everything and rush to grab it before some other ogre could.
Nearly.
Your Laoshi did manage to beat some semblance of discipline into your head (literally), enough so that you possessed a smidgen of what the humans and stunties and elves called 'self-control'.
Your minions and the other researchers on the other hand?
...Well, the loot pile was the site of a giant brawl awful quick, biting, punching, gnashing, scratching, chomping, kicking, and even more biting. It was fun, and you were happy to watch, laugh, and silently figure out who you were gonna bash later for trying to steal from your cut, up until they started getting close to breaking some of the loot.
And that wouldn't do at all.
This was your loot.
It was the only budget the lot of you had, the only shit you could use to give your Tyrant what he wanted!
IF ANY OF YOUR PRECIOUS BUDGET GOT BROKEN, THE LOT OF YOU WERE GOING TO BE UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE!
AND ALL YOUR FUCKING IDIOTIC MINIONS, AND THE RESEARCHERS WHO SHOULD DAMN WELL KNOW BETTER, SHOULD STOP BEING STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS BEFORE YOU SHOWED THEM EXACTLY WHY YOU WERE THE ONE IN CHARGE!!!!
WAS. THAT. UNDERSTOOD?
Amid a hasty chorus of yeses, you leaned back and smiled.
It was good to be the boss.
Turn 1: Research Phase.
Current Project: Hungry Hungry Tyrants (Multi use food grabber/maker) [3 turns]
Current Budget: 3 BP
Unique Assets: N/A
Hero Units:
Grabthar the Teacher [Mourne Beasts 2] [Gut Magic 2] [Martial Arts 2] [Weaponry 3]
Skagg Burninator [Weaponry 2] [Firebelly Magic 2]
Grok Speakeasy [Mourne Beasts 2] [Alchemy 2]
Grak Gardenback [Gut Magic 2] [Mourne Plants 2]
AP: 4
---------------------------------------
What would you like to Research?
[] Gunpowder: Your blasting powder is a recipe passed down from your teacher to you and from you to your student, and while there've been some minor breakthroughs over the years, its basically been the same fuckin recipe, mainly because you couldn't be bothered to look into it. You should probably change that.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Metals and Scrap: The other thing you were taught about in regards to conventional weaponry was metals, beating iron and steel and whatever you could into any shape you wanted, and which shapes were better for what things. But you've only really scratched the surface, and there's still a bunch to discover. So maybe you take a look under that surface.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Beastpunching: Beastpunching. You know it, you use it, and it's pretty fucking great at what it does. You also have no idea how it works. That's something that you should probably change as soon as possible, for pretty obvious reasons. Until you know the theory behind a thing, it isn't really possible for you to exploit that theory.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Mountain Beasts: The various monsters and beasts of the Mountains of Mourne are apparently fucking weird, at least compared to the normal 'pigs' and 'cows' and 'sheep' that other places have. Apparently, inherent magic or the ability to destroy stone or any of the other shit that they can do isn't normal. You have no idea why, probably something to do with the mountains, but you should probably look into it.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Gut Spark: Gut magic apparently works by feeding various reagents and fiddly bits to a spark in your gut, some sort of magic thing that fuels the casting of your spells, and probably divine in nature, considering basically everyone agrees that Gut Mages - Butchers and Slaughtermasters - are priests of the Great Maw. That's basically all you know about the Spark though. About time you figured out more.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Reagents: You have no real idea why certain items work for Gut Magic and others don't, and not even the barest inkling of how those items correspond to the effects they produce, beyond of course the old 'property of an item's original owner influences the property of the spell' theory. You should probably change that.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Taolu: Your Laoshi's main method of teaching you how to do martial arts was what he called Taolu, set patterns of attacks and forms designed to drill those forms into you until you could enact them fluidly and perfectly anytime and anywhere. You've mainly been working off the Taolu he's taught you, and while you've innovated a bit, you still have a lot to figure out. So maybe you figure some stuff out.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Cauldrons: According to Grok, alchemy is based pretty heavily around letting stuff boil and ferment and do a bunch of other transformations to 'draw out the true potential of the ingredient', whatever that means. One thing he's been looking into is Cauldrons, the stuff that you mix all these ingredients inside. Maybe someone should look into that a bit further.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Lavablaze: The Lore of the Firebelly is weird as fuck, especially to a Gut Mage (you're actually not sure where you rank in the butcher/slaughtermaster hierarchy, so Gut Mage it is) like yourself. But according to Skagg, there's more to it than the obvious fire and magma. Of course, Skagg isn't some sort of High Priest of the Firebelly, so the fire and magma is what he has to work with. As such, he wants someone to look into the surface level powers of the Volcano. Perhaps you should let him do so.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Mountain Plants: The animals of the Mountains of Mourne aren't the only weird beings on its slopes. The plants are supposedly equally as messed up. Apparently outside of the Mountains, most plants aren't able to kill people. Grak's pretty unsure of the unusual properties of the plants himself, but he knows enough about them that he's starting to look into the reasons behind why certain plants do certain things. Maybe you give him permission to look into em a bit more.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Write In: Write in another option, following the general structure of the options above.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
A/N: Well. It's been a while, 2-3 weeks, but this is finally out. Sorry about the lateness, I had a final project due and recently I've been moving house and it's been a big hassle. But it's here now.
Once more, huge thanks to @Xantalos and @Swordomatic for their help looking this over.
Also, 1 hour moratorium.
This is your life now. Head of a research group that spends their time doing whatever the fuck your Tyrant wants on pain of being eaten.
...Ain't really that different from what you did before, just a little less freedom and a lot more resources. Also you get to actually talk to ogres who aren't complete fucking idiots, which is a damn welcome change.
Well, technically, being a hermit who only came back to the tribe to refuel and drop off whatever your latest project was meant that you didn't have to talk to anybody at all, either smart or dumber than rocks.
Still, that's not really important, because intelligent conversation has been a damn good change from the silence that used to be your normal routine. So, you know, being a 'research head' ain't all bad. It's really just the same basic shit you've always been doing. Stay useful and stay alive.
...Being forced to work on shit you can't choose still fucking sucks, but if it's a choice between that and being alive, you know which one you're going to choose.
But that's enough philosophizing for a week at least. Seriously, you're starting to remind yourself of your Laoshi, and that's never a good sign.
For all that he was incredibly powerful, he kept on going on and on about 'balance' and 'harmony' and 'fairness' and 'morals', and all of that other shit you don't care about.
Speaking of things you do care about though, a few hours back, you got your budget. Or, technically, you got the big fuckin caravans worth of supplies and rare goods and food and metal and building materials that comprise the first installment of your budget.
It's admittedly not that much, two or so wagons full, but it has basically everything you need, metal, wood, animals, testing supplies, glass jars that were looted from a few unlucky Cathayan merchants, the corpses of a few unlucky Cathayan merchants (barely even gnawed on too!), and most important of all, food, enough to keep your whole camp running for just long enough to get a stable supply of the stuff figured out.
The sight of all your loot (even if you didn't technically loot it), was nearly enough to make you drop everything and rush to grab it before some other ogre could.
Nearly.
Your Laoshi did manage to beat some semblance of discipline into your head (literally), enough so that you possessed a smidgen of what the humans and stunties and elves called 'self-control'.
Your minions and the other researchers on the other hand?
...Well, the loot pile was the site of a giant brawl awful quick, biting, punching, gnashing, scratching, chomping, kicking, and even more biting. It was fun, and you were happy to watch, laugh, and silently figure out who you were gonna bash later for trying to steal from your cut, up until they started getting close to breaking some of the loot.
And that wouldn't do at all.
This was your loot.
It was the only budget the lot of you had, the only shit you could use to give your Tyrant what he wanted!
IF ANY OF YOUR PRECIOUS BUDGET GOT BROKEN, THE LOT OF YOU WERE GOING TO BE UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE!
AND ALL YOUR FUCKING IDIOTIC MINIONS, AND THE RESEARCHERS WHO SHOULD DAMN WELL KNOW BETTER, SHOULD STOP BEING STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS BEFORE YOU SHOWED THEM EXACTLY WHY YOU WERE THE ONE IN CHARGE!!!!
WAS. THAT. UNDERSTOOD?
Amid a hasty chorus of yeses, you leaned back and smiled.
It was good to be the boss.
Turn 1: Research Phase.
Current Project: Hungry Hungry Tyrants (Multi use food grabber/maker) [3 turns]
Current Budget: 3 BP
Unique Assets: N/A
Hero Units:
Grabthar the Teacher [Mourne Beasts 2] [Gut Magic 2] [Martial Arts 2] [Weaponry 3]
Skagg Burninator [Weaponry 2] [Firebelly Magic 2]
Grok Speakeasy [Mourne Beasts 2] [Alchemy 2]
Grak Gardenback [Gut Magic 2] [Mourne Plants 2]
AP: 4
---------------------------------------
What would you like to Research?
[] Gunpowder: Your blasting powder is a recipe passed down from your teacher to you and from you to your student, and while there've been some minor breakthroughs over the years, its basically been the same fuckin recipe, mainly because you couldn't be bothered to look into it. You should probably change that.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Metals and Scrap: The other thing you were taught about in regards to conventional weaponry was metals, beating iron and steel and whatever you could into any shape you wanted, and which shapes were better for what things. But you've only really scratched the surface, and there's still a bunch to discover. So maybe you take a look under that surface.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Beastpunching: Beastpunching. You know it, you use it, and it's pretty fucking great at what it does. You also have no idea how it works. That's something that you should probably change as soon as possible, for pretty obvious reasons. Until you know the theory behind a thing, it isn't really possible for you to exploit that theory.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Mountain Beasts: The various monsters and beasts of the Mountains of Mourne are apparently fucking weird, at least compared to the normal 'pigs' and 'cows' and 'sheep' that other places have. Apparently, inherent magic or the ability to destroy stone or any of the other shit that they can do isn't normal. You have no idea why, probably something to do with the mountains, but you should probably look into it.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Gut Spark: Gut magic apparently works by feeding various reagents and fiddly bits to a spark in your gut, some sort of magic thing that fuels the casting of your spells, and probably divine in nature, considering basically everyone agrees that Gut Mages - Butchers and Slaughtermasters - are priests of the Great Maw. That's basically all you know about the Spark though. About time you figured out more.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Reagents: You have no real idea why certain items work for Gut Magic and others don't, and not even the barest inkling of how those items correspond to the effects they produce, beyond of course the old 'property of an item's original owner influences the property of the spell' theory. You should probably change that.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Taolu: Your Laoshi's main method of teaching you how to do martial arts was what he called Taolu, set patterns of attacks and forms designed to drill those forms into you until you could enact them fluidly and perfectly anytime and anywhere. You've mainly been working off the Taolu he's taught you, and while you've innovated a bit, you still have a lot to figure out. So maybe you figure some stuff out.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Cauldrons: According to Grok, alchemy is based pretty heavily around letting stuff boil and ferment and do a bunch of other transformations to 'draw out the true potential of the ingredient', whatever that means. One thing he's been looking into is Cauldrons, the stuff that you mix all these ingredients inside. Maybe someone should look into that a bit further.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Lavablaze: The Lore of the Firebelly is weird as fuck, especially to a Gut Mage (you're actually not sure where you rank in the butcher/slaughtermaster hierarchy, so Gut Mage it is) like yourself. But according to Skagg, there's more to it than the obvious fire and magma. Of course, Skagg isn't some sort of High Priest of the Firebelly, so the fire and magma is what he has to work with. As such, he wants someone to look into the surface level powers of the Volcano. Perhaps you should let him do so.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Mountain Plants: The animals of the Mountains of Mourne aren't the only weird beings on its slopes. The plants are supposedly equally as messed up. Apparently outside of the Mountains, most plants aren't able to kill people. Grak's pretty unsure of the unusual properties of the plants himself, but he knows enough about them that he's starting to look into the reasons behind why certain plants do certain things. Maybe you give him permission to look into em a bit more.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
[] Write In: Write in another option, following the general structure of the options above.
-[] Hero Unit Assigned
-[] Funding Used (Optional)
A/N: Well. It's been a while, 2-3 weeks, but this is finally out. Sorry about the lateness, I had a final project due and recently I've been moving house and it's been a big hassle. But it's here now.
Once more, huge thanks to @Xantalos and @Swordomatic for their help looking this over.
Also, 1 hour moratorium.
Turn 1: Research Phase Results
Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Turn 1: Research Phase.
Current Project: Hungry Hungry Tyrants (Multi use food grabber/maker) [3 turns]
Current Budget: 3 BP
Unique Assets: N/A
Hero Units:
Grabthar the Teacher [Mourne Beasts 2] [Gut Magic 2] [Martial Arts 2] [Weaponry 3]
Skagg Burninator [Weaponry 2] [Firebelly Magic 2]
Grok Speakeasy [Mourne Beasts 2] [Alchemy 2]
Grak Gardenback [Gut Magic 2] [Mourne Plants 2]
AP: 4
---------------------------------------
Beastpunching (Grok Speakeasy)
Grok Speakeasy wasn't really familiar with the traditional way hunters did their beast taming. He'd always preferred to just talk to them, convincing them that they should follow him or do things for him, and while the results were the same, his beastspeaking and the beastpunching favored by most were quite different.
Still, the boss had given him a job, and he was going to do what the boss told him, partly because Grabthar the Teacher was both terrifying and also not really that bad of a boss. Wasn't the worst ogre Grok had worked under anyways. The other, way smaller part of his completion of the job was that it wasn't that bad of a job. Not his first choice at least, but not bad.
That being said, Grok didn't have much of an idea on how to look into this beastpunching shit, mainly because of the whole 'not the same as his specialty' deal.
Luckily, Grok knew a few ogres who could help. Not anyone at their little 'research camp' of course, Grabthar was busy with his own shit and nobody else had the necessary knowledge. But Grok had a few hunters who owed him favors, and those favors probably wouldn't ever be useful anywhere else.
So he called them in, and over the course of the next few months, multiple hunters showed up at the research camp, ready to do what Grok needed them to do.
Grok took them to a series of small pens containing various animals, specifically Sabertusks, Rhinoxen, a few blood vultures, and even three Mournfangs. He'd wanted to get a few Stonehorns, but unfortunately Grabthar had shot that proposal down, saying that it'd take too much work and probably kill too many ogres. Still, Grok made do with what ogres he was given, and only a few of them lost limbs. None of them died either.
The gnoblars weren't as lucky, but nobody really cared about them.
The hunters were instructed to demonstrate their beastpunching techniques on the various animals, taking a few from each group so that Grok had multiple trials. After a few arguments and a lost finger or two, Grok was firmly in charge and he'd also agreed to have the hunters do their beastpunching where no ogres other than himself could see.
Thankfully, there were no real troubles beyond that, and Grok was able to get quite a bit of data from the experiments.
For example, while each hunter had different variations on beastpunching, the general style seemed to be the same, beating up the animal in question, yelling obscenities or just screaming incoherently, and then repeating the process over and over until the beast was 'tamed' and would do what the hunter demanded.
Interestingly, in every case, when the beast was finally beaten into submission, there didn't seem to be any resentment or adoration or really any noticeable emotional change. It was almost like the animal was perfectly content with the new arrangement, and saw nothing out of the ordinary with it.
The closest thing Grok could relate it to was what ogres went through when there was a new Tyrant in charge.
Unfortunately, he wasn't able to continue down that line of thought, his funding for this project having run dry and his time relocated to testing and development.
Still, it was interesting.
Mountain Beasts (Grabthar the Teacher)
You decided to pick up the Mountain Beast research piece for yourself. It was one of the perks of being the boss, first choice of basically anything you wanted.
Of course, you did have to bust a few heads here and there, but it wasn't like it was any big loss. For you at least. The ogres who got their heads busted lost a lot. Probably. They weren't really the brightest to begin with.
But that line of thought was more fuckin irrelevant than a gnoblar's opinion, so you dropped it and got back to what you were supposed to be doing: Fucking off into the mountains to do some field research on the various beasties.
It was actually pretty damn entertaining, more so than you thought it'd be. The whole sitting around and not moving thing wasn't that bad, and after you finished observing your targets, you could swoop in and eat em! Well, the ones that probably wouldn't kill you.
You were an ogre, not stupid.
You ate a lot of animals over the past few months, really whenever you could step away from your projects, and you got a lot of damn good observations before you chowed down.
You followed a few packs of sabertusks around, watching as the feline beasts hunted down mammoths and mournfangs, devouring the beasts and ripping gouges out of both their prey and the ground they were standing on, stone getting absolutely fucking annihilated when exposed to their tusks.
You stalked a herd of Rhinoxen, watching them erase entire valleys of greenery in a single meal before moving onto the next, fighting off packs of Sabertusks, orc clans, and chimerae and coming out basically unharmed, engaging in struggles for dominance that caused earthquakes and split the ground apart.
You tracked flocks of Blood Vultures as they descended on food like aerial piranhas, stripping enormous carcasses bare in minutes, diving to hunt prey and skewering them on their beaks. When those dives missed, their beaks embedded themselves into the landscape, and you saw dozens of Blood Vultures buried up to their eyes into ironwood trees.
You even managed to find a few Caveclaws, stumbling on them as the ursine monstrosities were in the middle of a struggle for dominance. You watched as the loser was forced out of her brother's territory and began a week-long rampage through the Mountains, stopping dozens of miles away, near an uninhabited mountain. Then you swore under your brath as you watched that Caveclaw make her own fucking cave with half an hour's work, taking enormous chunks of stone out with vicious attacks until she'd burrowed damn halfway into the mountain.
After that, you decided to maybe go home. But you did get some damn good hypotheses and theories and shit from all of that, even if it was cut a bit short by your lack of budget or manpower.
For one, basically every animal you'd seen had two things in common. One, they were damn fucking strong, biting into rock and shattering stone and drilling straight into ironwood. Two, they were absolutely ravenous, eating about as much as equally sized ogres. Neither of these things were (according to a few caravaners you captured for reference on what regular animals were like) normal things for animals to do.
Pretty fucking neat.
Mountain Plants (Grak Gardenback)
Grak was pretty busy, busier than he'd been in a long time.
Well, alright, maybe that was a tiny little lie. Grak wasn't actually really any busier than he normally was. He wasn't even doing anything different from what he normally did. Looking at cool plants and figuring out their abilities was about as eventful as a gnoblar dying for him. Didn't mean it wasn't fun of course. After all, Grak chose to do that with his time before he was forced to.
So that was basically how Grak spent his time, uprooting or observing plants, sending small animals and gnoblars their way, and seeing what happened.
The answer was 'a lot of stuff' apparently. Grak didn't know there were that many ways gnoblars could die. Seriously, it was pretty cool.
But 'cool things' weren't what Grak was supposed to be looking for. Grak was supposed to be looking for what made the plants of the Mountains 'hell plants' and 'abominations', or whatever the humans he'd captured were calling them.
Grak wasn't really paying attention to be honest. He was thinking about plants.
Those humans might have had a point though. See, while Grak didn't know too much about how plants worked, he did know that they needed food to survive, same as anything else. And like animals and ogres and probably humans too, plants needed food to do stuff.
An ogre could survive on a few mournfangs, but they weren't gonna be good for anything useful.
And the amount of food these plants were getting probably wasn't enough to sustain fire breath or growing extra mouths or uprooting themself and getting into a fistfight with the gnoblar or producing a messed up sound that caused five fangweasels to appear from the ground and kill every animal in sight including themselves and also the gnoblar, or-
Well, you got the idea.
But yeah, it was weird. The plants were pretty obviously getting energy from somewhere, but Grak wasn't sure where. And if they were getting enough energy to do all of this crazy stuff, then they probably wouldn't need to eat actual food right?
Also, according to his captives, plants didn't normally need to eat anything, they just did some magic stuff with sun and water and they were fine unless bugs ate them.
So yeah, there was obviously some sort of weird stuff going on. The problem was that Grak wasn't really sure what. Maybe if he had a few more ogres helping him out, or access to some more exotic plants he'd be able to compare and contrast Mountain and 'regular' plants, but for now, all he could find out was that plants probably shouldn't act like this, but the Mountain plants did and he didn't know why.
On the bright side, Grak did find a bunch of new plants to add to his garden, so, upsides and stuff.
Also he totally got to eat the humies he captured, which was a nice snack. Tileans were always so crunchy. Definitely in his top five humies to eat.
Lavablaze (Skagg Burninator)
Holy fuckin shit da boss actually let Skagg take a look at his Firebelly Lore shit. Skagg didn't really expect this ta happen, but he wasn't about ta look a gift-mournfang in da mouth.
So da first thing Skagg did was go out ta a different valley, where nothing could go wrong if he fucked some shit up.
...Well, actually, Skagg was about ta fire (heh, geddit? Because dey were fire spells?) off all of his spells and shit in da middle of da camp, but right before he could, da boss conked him on da head and said dat if Skagg used dangerous magic in da middle of their camp, da boss would eat him.
So Skagg moved over ta a different area, away from da camp, and began ta start calling on da great Fire Mouth.
It went pretty well, and Skagg gotta lotta forest set on fire, breathing it out, calling up da lava darts and da fire punches, splittin open da earth and summoning da choking gas and da howling smoke, creating tiny eruptions of lava and sending dem out at anything and everything.
By da end of it all, da entire valley was a molten firescape, trees and rock and any animals in da way all burninating, but Skagg didn't really get much done. It was fuckin amazin, sure, very cathartic, but Skagg didn't get anything outta it beyond a sense of calmness and less anger.
Which was kinda weird seeing as Skagg didn't know he was angry before he wasn't. It was worth looking inta, especially since he didn't really have any otha leads.
So whenever he got mad, Skagg cast a spell, sometimes a lava dart, sometimes a fireball, sometimes he just breathed out fire, he liked ta switch it up. Also because of dat whole 'multiple trials' thing.
And den, sometimes Skagg had a few ogres try an' get him mad, after promising he wouldn't hurt em with his magic. Den, he tried to cast more spells when he was at different levels of anger, and recorded da results. Also he punched da ogres sometimes. He didn't say nuffin about not hurting em with his fists after all.
So, after all dat, Skagg had a buncha pretty good data, and all of it led ta some pretty wild conclusions.
See, da madder Skagg got, da easier to cast and stronger his spells were. And after Skagg cast a spell, he got a bit less angry, with da more powerful spells removin more anger dan da weaker spells.
Da Fire Mouth's magic definitely had some sorta rage-based component ta it, but dat was all Skagg could figure out. Maybe if he had a few more valleys he was allowed ta destroy, or had more disposable ogres who could make him happy or sad or a buncha other emotions dat weren't just anger, Skagg could look deeper into da interesting phenomena surrounding his magic, but for now, Skagg'd hafta settle with what he'd got.
Still, it was pretty neat.
A/N: Took a bit longer than I'dve liked, but its done now. Huge thanks as always to @Swordomatic and @Xantalos for looking this over.
Current Project: Hungry Hungry Tyrants (Multi use food grabber/maker) [3 turns]
Current Budget: 3 BP
Unique Assets: N/A
Hero Units:
Grabthar the Teacher [Mourne Beasts 2] [Gut Magic 2] [Martial Arts 2] [Weaponry 3]
Skagg Burninator [Weaponry 2] [Firebelly Magic 2]
Grok Speakeasy [Mourne Beasts 2] [Alchemy 2]
Grak Gardenback [Gut Magic 2] [Mourne Plants 2]
AP: 4
---------------------------------------
Beastpunching (Grok Speakeasy)
Grok Speakeasy wasn't really familiar with the traditional way hunters did their beast taming. He'd always preferred to just talk to them, convincing them that they should follow him or do things for him, and while the results were the same, his beastspeaking and the beastpunching favored by most were quite different.
Still, the boss had given him a job, and he was going to do what the boss told him, partly because Grabthar the Teacher was both terrifying and also not really that bad of a boss. Wasn't the worst ogre Grok had worked under anyways. The other, way smaller part of his completion of the job was that it wasn't that bad of a job. Not his first choice at least, but not bad.
That being said, Grok didn't have much of an idea on how to look into this beastpunching shit, mainly because of the whole 'not the same as his specialty' deal.
Luckily, Grok knew a few ogres who could help. Not anyone at their little 'research camp' of course, Grabthar was busy with his own shit and nobody else had the necessary knowledge. But Grok had a few hunters who owed him favors, and those favors probably wouldn't ever be useful anywhere else.
So he called them in, and over the course of the next few months, multiple hunters showed up at the research camp, ready to do what Grok needed them to do.
Grok took them to a series of small pens containing various animals, specifically Sabertusks, Rhinoxen, a few blood vultures, and even three Mournfangs. He'd wanted to get a few Stonehorns, but unfortunately Grabthar had shot that proposal down, saying that it'd take too much work and probably kill too many ogres. Still, Grok made do with what ogres he was given, and only a few of them lost limbs. None of them died either.
The gnoblars weren't as lucky, but nobody really cared about them.
The hunters were instructed to demonstrate their beastpunching techniques on the various animals, taking a few from each group so that Grok had multiple trials. After a few arguments and a lost finger or two, Grok was firmly in charge and he'd also agreed to have the hunters do their beastpunching where no ogres other than himself could see.
Thankfully, there were no real troubles beyond that, and Grok was able to get quite a bit of data from the experiments.
For example, while each hunter had different variations on beastpunching, the general style seemed to be the same, beating up the animal in question, yelling obscenities or just screaming incoherently, and then repeating the process over and over until the beast was 'tamed' and would do what the hunter demanded.
Interestingly, in every case, when the beast was finally beaten into submission, there didn't seem to be any resentment or adoration or really any noticeable emotional change. It was almost like the animal was perfectly content with the new arrangement, and saw nothing out of the ordinary with it.
The closest thing Grok could relate it to was what ogres went through when there was a new Tyrant in charge.
Unfortunately, he wasn't able to continue down that line of thought, his funding for this project having run dry and his time relocated to testing and development.
Still, it was interesting.
Mountain Beasts (Grabthar the Teacher)
You decided to pick up the Mountain Beast research piece for yourself. It was one of the perks of being the boss, first choice of basically anything you wanted.
Of course, you did have to bust a few heads here and there, but it wasn't like it was any big loss. For you at least. The ogres who got their heads busted lost a lot. Probably. They weren't really the brightest to begin with.
But that line of thought was more fuckin irrelevant than a gnoblar's opinion, so you dropped it and got back to what you were supposed to be doing: Fucking off into the mountains to do some field research on the various beasties.
It was actually pretty damn entertaining, more so than you thought it'd be. The whole sitting around and not moving thing wasn't that bad, and after you finished observing your targets, you could swoop in and eat em! Well, the ones that probably wouldn't kill you.
You were an ogre, not stupid.
You ate a lot of animals over the past few months, really whenever you could step away from your projects, and you got a lot of damn good observations before you chowed down.
You followed a few packs of sabertusks around, watching as the feline beasts hunted down mammoths and mournfangs, devouring the beasts and ripping gouges out of both their prey and the ground they were standing on, stone getting absolutely fucking annihilated when exposed to their tusks.
You stalked a herd of Rhinoxen, watching them erase entire valleys of greenery in a single meal before moving onto the next, fighting off packs of Sabertusks, orc clans, and chimerae and coming out basically unharmed, engaging in struggles for dominance that caused earthquakes and split the ground apart.
You tracked flocks of Blood Vultures as they descended on food like aerial piranhas, stripping enormous carcasses bare in minutes, diving to hunt prey and skewering them on their beaks. When those dives missed, their beaks embedded themselves into the landscape, and you saw dozens of Blood Vultures buried up to their eyes into ironwood trees.
You even managed to find a few Caveclaws, stumbling on them as the ursine monstrosities were in the middle of a struggle for dominance. You watched as the loser was forced out of her brother's territory and began a week-long rampage through the Mountains, stopping dozens of miles away, near an uninhabited mountain. Then you swore under your brath as you watched that Caveclaw make her own fucking cave with half an hour's work, taking enormous chunks of stone out with vicious attacks until she'd burrowed damn halfway into the mountain.
After that, you decided to maybe go home. But you did get some damn good hypotheses and theories and shit from all of that, even if it was cut a bit short by your lack of budget or manpower.
For one, basically every animal you'd seen had two things in common. One, they were damn fucking strong, biting into rock and shattering stone and drilling straight into ironwood. Two, they were absolutely ravenous, eating about as much as equally sized ogres. Neither of these things were (according to a few caravaners you captured for reference on what regular animals were like) normal things for animals to do.
Pretty fucking neat.
Mountain Plants (Grak Gardenback)
Grak was pretty busy, busier than he'd been in a long time.
Well, alright, maybe that was a tiny little lie. Grak wasn't actually really any busier than he normally was. He wasn't even doing anything different from what he normally did. Looking at cool plants and figuring out their abilities was about as eventful as a gnoblar dying for him. Didn't mean it wasn't fun of course. After all, Grak chose to do that with his time before he was forced to.
So that was basically how Grak spent his time, uprooting or observing plants, sending small animals and gnoblars their way, and seeing what happened.
The answer was 'a lot of stuff' apparently. Grak didn't know there were that many ways gnoblars could die. Seriously, it was pretty cool.
But 'cool things' weren't what Grak was supposed to be looking for. Grak was supposed to be looking for what made the plants of the Mountains 'hell plants' and 'abominations', or whatever the humans he'd captured were calling them.
Grak wasn't really paying attention to be honest. He was thinking about plants.
Those humans might have had a point though. See, while Grak didn't know too much about how plants worked, he did know that they needed food to survive, same as anything else. And like animals and ogres and probably humans too, plants needed food to do stuff.
An ogre could survive on a few mournfangs, but they weren't gonna be good for anything useful.
And the amount of food these plants were getting probably wasn't enough to sustain fire breath or growing extra mouths or uprooting themself and getting into a fistfight with the gnoblar or producing a messed up sound that caused five fangweasels to appear from the ground and kill every animal in sight including themselves and also the gnoblar, or-
Well, you got the idea.
But yeah, it was weird. The plants were pretty obviously getting energy from somewhere, but Grak wasn't sure where. And if they were getting enough energy to do all of this crazy stuff, then they probably wouldn't need to eat actual food right?
Also, according to his captives, plants didn't normally need to eat anything, they just did some magic stuff with sun and water and they were fine unless bugs ate them.
So yeah, there was obviously some sort of weird stuff going on. The problem was that Grak wasn't really sure what. Maybe if he had a few more ogres helping him out, or access to some more exotic plants he'd be able to compare and contrast Mountain and 'regular' plants, but for now, all he could find out was that plants probably shouldn't act like this, but the Mountain plants did and he didn't know why.
On the bright side, Grak did find a bunch of new plants to add to his garden, so, upsides and stuff.
Also he totally got to eat the humies he captured, which was a nice snack. Tileans were always so crunchy. Definitely in his top five humies to eat.
Lavablaze (Skagg Burninator)
Holy fuckin shit da boss actually let Skagg take a look at his Firebelly Lore shit. Skagg didn't really expect this ta happen, but he wasn't about ta look a gift-mournfang in da mouth.
So da first thing Skagg did was go out ta a different valley, where nothing could go wrong if he fucked some shit up.
...Well, actually, Skagg was about ta fire (heh, geddit? Because dey were fire spells?) off all of his spells and shit in da middle of da camp, but right before he could, da boss conked him on da head and said dat if Skagg used dangerous magic in da middle of their camp, da boss would eat him.
So Skagg moved over ta a different area, away from da camp, and began ta start calling on da great Fire Mouth.
It went pretty well, and Skagg gotta lotta forest set on fire, breathing it out, calling up da lava darts and da fire punches, splittin open da earth and summoning da choking gas and da howling smoke, creating tiny eruptions of lava and sending dem out at anything and everything.
By da end of it all, da entire valley was a molten firescape, trees and rock and any animals in da way all burninating, but Skagg didn't really get much done. It was fuckin amazin, sure, very cathartic, but Skagg didn't get anything outta it beyond a sense of calmness and less anger.
Which was kinda weird seeing as Skagg didn't know he was angry before he wasn't. It was worth looking inta, especially since he didn't really have any otha leads.
So whenever he got mad, Skagg cast a spell, sometimes a lava dart, sometimes a fireball, sometimes he just breathed out fire, he liked ta switch it up. Also because of dat whole 'multiple trials' thing.
And den, sometimes Skagg had a few ogres try an' get him mad, after promising he wouldn't hurt em with his magic. Den, he tried to cast more spells when he was at different levels of anger, and recorded da results. Also he punched da ogres sometimes. He didn't say nuffin about not hurting em with his fists after all.
So, after all dat, Skagg had a buncha pretty good data, and all of it led ta some pretty wild conclusions.
See, da madder Skagg got, da easier to cast and stronger his spells were. And after Skagg cast a spell, he got a bit less angry, with da more powerful spells removin more anger dan da weaker spells.
Da Fire Mouth's magic definitely had some sorta rage-based component ta it, but dat was all Skagg could figure out. Maybe if he had a few more valleys he was allowed ta destroy, or had more disposable ogres who could make him happy or sad or a buncha other emotions dat weren't just anger, Skagg could look deeper into da interesting phenomena surrounding his magic, but for now, Skagg'd hafta settle with what he'd got.
Still, it was pretty neat.
A/N: Took a bit longer than I'dve liked, but its done now. Huge thanks as always to @Swordomatic and @Xantalos for looking this over.
Last edited: