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Rebuild of Apocrypha (Yet Another Another Fate/etc. Quest)

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So at first I was going to update RoA properly tonight

But as a result of certain incidents that took place today I shall instead be doing something else.

An Omake starring everyone's least favorite fossil-snorting tree-person.
 
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Omake - How Aaron Gentles Ruined Christmas
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    • It was the night before Christmas
    And within Chaldea at this late hour
    Nothing was stirring, not even a Four


    As the sleigh bells were a-ringing
    And Santa Alter was singing
    Yet so little did they know
    That there was already a gift for them, buried beneath the snow


    It was a long night, Santa had said
    Disengaging her Master and Reindeer from her sled
    But as they returned back to base
    Their sled uncovered something, a sealed metal case


    Inquisitively Gudako looked over, curious
    Santa herself stood while definitely looking away, imperious
    The reindeer merely stood in place, Asterios
    But there was only obscured writing on it's surface, mysterious


    And so with A+ Rank strength and Mana burst did they carry it
    Looking for Da Vinci's expertise, they searched with brows knit
    To come across the flighty Caster
    Whereupon Gudako was seized with the desire to become her Master


    Santa and Reindeer did bemoan her lack of attention
    And on which list Gudako found herself, I need not mention
    Soldiering on, their burden did those two carry
    For the night was waxing, they could not tarry


    With this final gift addressed to Chaldea
    They made haste for the tree, tripping over Medea
    There was a moment of fear within Santa, but she need not worry
    For the diminutive figure they had knocked over was only Lily


    With a cheerful wave and creepy smile
    Did she send off the two, who felt their hearts skip all the while
    With a deep breath of relaxation did the pair then proceed
    Approaching the tree they then lair their burden to rest, completing the deed


    With a sheepish smile and a blank stare
    A sense of camaraderie did the two share
    Job well done, they thought
    Dreaming of the many perils with which their journey had been fraught


    But as they turned to their well earned slumber
    Little did they know that a new arrival had their number
    For upon that metal box was inscribed
    "Open in case of risk of human extinction, i.e. If we're all about to die."


    But alas, the warning went unbidden
    For the text was obscured by an overly large ribbon
    Now Christmas dawn did come
    And all the little Servants woke up with the Sun


    Save for Vlad and Camilla, who slept in
    Since they could not stand the unholy din
    Yet that is another story, not for now.


    A veritable army did then approach
    Towards the common room, it's peace upon which they enroached
    Where they were greeted by a magnificent tree
    Rekindling the hope that they would someday set humanity free


    And so did Gudako with shadows under her eyes
    Muttering about Da Vinci refusing to join her, much to her surprise
    Approach the bottom of the christmas tree
    For that large metal case was addressed to her, you see


    Grabbing a piece of Saint Quartz
    She shoved it into the contraption with no small amount of force
    The material shattered, and light enveloped the room
    The few with instinct getting a shared sense of doom


    At that moment the coffin opened, accompanied by an ominous tune
    Leaving the staff to wonder if the new arrival would be a hindrance or a boon
    When rising steam and flashing lights subsided
    Those present found themselves with emotions most divided


    For within the box was folded a lanky brown figure
    Soaked with melted ice, and his body most meager
    When the man awoke and stretched himself out he felt a bit of surprise
    For within the gaze before him was the etched command that he must die


    So kicking and screaming did Aaron Gentles go
    Into Da Vinci's personal shop and lo!
    He would be burned! Of that there would be no doubt.
    For instinctively all Chaldea knew that he was a miserable lout.


    The blonde man did go down kicking and screaming
    And as he went up in flames there was much gleaming
    So did Gudako get her hopes up for Christmas Miracle
    But the Gacha was a cruel mistress, it was futile


    The wooden man burned up as his appearance suggested
    A result that no one would have contested
    Yet alas, there would be no new Servant to anoint
    For her only reward would be a smattering of Quartz Points


    So did Gudako spend Christmas day in a towering fury
    And returning the box to the outside, where she did bury
    The foolish Santa who had wasted her time
    After taking the time to squirt in her eyes some lime


    And so did Aaron Gentles ruin Christmas
    Because, you see, no one likes including him in their business
    His presence is a bore
    Disposing of him was nothing but a chore


    And now Christmas has come to an end.
    Fare thee well, now go to bed.
     
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    • hour and four does not rhyme why do you insist on hurting me this way
     
    So it's looking like this might be on hiatus for a while.

    TehChron got temp banned over in the thread talking about the change to the $20 bill. The gist of his argument was as follows: Andrew Jackson did nothing wrong.

    People took offense to that.
     
    Ars Poetica said:
    So it's looking like this might be on hiatus for a while.

    TehChron got temp banned over in the thread talking about the change to the $20 bill. The gist of his argument was as follows: Andrew Jackson did nothing wrong.

    People took offense to that.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    As gross of a simplification that is, it seems to be how most people arguing with him in CA interpreted his responses as, all things considered...

    No one should have to point out the definition of genocide to others. Here's hoping I don't get frustrated for @TehChron cause people say 'he provides nothing constructive' again...
     
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    Post-Nap Stretch
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    • "Well?" The wet, croaking voice of the elder asks, "Are you awake or aren't you? Young man." The pain redoubles, and elicits a moan of pain from your lips, unbidden.

    "It looks like he isn't waking up, Grandfather." The younger voice observes musingly.

    "Hmhmhm," Comes the throaty response, "Then perhaps we should give our young friend some assistance?"

    You briefly consider what he could mean by that before a positively revolting feeling of slime and shame wraps itself around your arm.

    "What the hell is-" But opening your mouth proves to be a fatal mistake, as the squirming weight that had fallen upon you takes advantage of the opening to bodily shove itself into your gaping orifice. YourS mindLblanks out,ItheTsensoryHoverloadEprovingRtoo much.

    "Is he dead?"

    "Boy had quite the gag reflex, hmhmhm." A sharp pain brings you back to consciousness, "Also he's still breathing."

    "…I don't see what the gag reflex had to do with-"

    "And that is why your sister is the heir, Shinji."

    At the boy's groan of frustration something within you clicks in sympathy with his situation, for reasons you do not know. You can not fathom. Or perhaps that clicking is from the source of this newfound energy filling your body as you effortlessly spring upward? Now that you're on your feet you take in the new arrivals, your vision sweeping over them. The first to catch your gaze was the boy. Asian features, waxy, pale skin. Blue hair that brings to mind sushi for some reason. Oh, and he's also in a wheelchair. That may prove important in the future.

    Your eyes track to his side, where a stooped figure hovers menacingly. His skin pallid, wrinkled, hideous-

    "AARON GENTLES!" You shout, leveling a finger at your diminished, stooped over foe, "DID YOU TRULY THINK YOUR DISGUISE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO FOOL ME, ISAAC HEMOSTRUS?!"

    A slimy, rubbery object flies into your mouth at your passionate attempt to raise the alarm for your fellow Masters of Red, as incompetent as they may be, and the sudden weight sends you reeling backwards.

    "Hmhmhm, as much as I appreciate the compliment young man, I fear that I am simply no longer that youthful." You regain your balance, the crawling weight forcing itself into your gullet as you do so, "I would appreciate it if you did not make that mistake again."

    You gulp, "O-of course." You glance nervously towards the side entrance to the chapel, waiting for reinforcements and decide to stall for time, "May I have your name and purpose here, Mister…?"

    "Ma…kiri, yes, Makiri." The hobbled old creature's black eyes glitter as he replies, "I am Zolgen Makiri, head of the Makiri Clan and one of builders of the Holy Grail which you even now fight over."

    You nod, the name sounding vaguely familiar, "It's an honor to meet a Magus of your caliber, Mr. Makiri." You bow, "And I am-"

    "Isaac Hemostrus, correct?" Makiri's younger companion responds. You find that, in spite of yourself, you are impressed.

    "You do your research." You look towards the bo-, no, the young man before you, "But I'm afraid that you have me at a disadvantage Mister…?"

    "Ma-" His eyes shift over to Makiri, who smiles and nods, "Makiri Shinji." He puffs up with something vaguely resembling pride at this. Poor fool must not get out much if that's the case, "I am Grandfather's assistant here in Romania in the place of my adopted Sister, who needed to watch over the estate in my absence."

    You nod understandably, as your mother often took your younger brother with her whenever conducting official family business. There was no need to waste the heir's valuable time on trivial nonsense, and you could hardly begrudge the poor cripple what few bones he was thrown.

    "A pleasure making the acquaintance of the two of you, is there some way I can be of service?" You ask the pair, your hand extended out amicably.

    "Hmm, it's been some time since I've had such a polite welcome." Zolgen mutters, smirking at you kindly, "If you could show us to the Adjudicator, it would be most welcome." The old man chuckled, a sound similar to whetstones grinding against one another. Naturally, you don't refuse him and proceed to guide the Makiri duo through what you knew of the Church grounds. It takes some time, and more than once the confusingly straightforward passageways prove cleverer than expected, but eventually you find your way towards the dining hall. From which you can sense the presence of all but one of the Red Faction's Masters.

    "Just behind this door, Mr. Makiri." You turn towards your guests with a smile, gesturing them into the expansive chamber.

    The three of you enter, and what hushed conversation you had heard going on within dies off immediately upon the appearance of yourself and your guests.

    A charged and steady voice is the first to pierce the silence, "…I see, is this what you meant when you said you were calling in experts, Jackson?"

    "Of course, I would reckon that our good friends here want to split the Yggdmillenia down the middle at least as much as we do." The voice of Father Johnson replies as the hunched figure rises from a table to head towards you, "Ain't that right, Shinji?"

    The squeaking of wheels is all you hear as the crippled youth heads straight towards the clergyman as if summoned, "Mr. President!" He calls out, a hand grasping Jefferson's own, "It's been too long!"

    "Sure has," The dessicated corpse responds, "Same to you, Zolgen."

    "Hmhmhm," The hunched over creature next to your chuckles wetly, "You know how it is for us old men, Jackson. We just keep getting dragged out for 'one last ride', huh?"

    "It's always the last one," Jackson nods, his balding head moving with great deliberation, "Until the next one that is."

    The two old men are joined by a third, this one seeming to lean heavily on a metallic staff, and they proceed to carry on a hushed conversation. Probably comparing notes on adult diaper brands, or the lack of their descendants visiting them in their nursing homes or something. Old people nonsense. Deciding to focus on more important things, you realize that this is not only the first time you've seen most of these people, your fellow Masters of Red, but there are also no Servants present. Aside from the elderly, the first one to catch your eye is a green haired woman, her eyes obscured by a pair of sunglasses. Her face turns towards you, before your gaze moves on. The second is a woman of your own age, her auburn hair elegantly curled as her dress is immaculate and silken, even under these circumstances. At her side is some kind of leather pouch, but your gaze soon moves on to more familiar territory as Madonna Dubstep catches your eye, holding up a bag of chinese food.

    You bite back a groan.

    —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————​




    Who Do You Speak With?

    [] Green Hair
    [] Doublestain
    [] Really Well Dressed Cowgirl
    [] The Old Men
    [] Shinji Makiri

    You Speak About:

    [] Progress In The War
    [] Where Your Servants Are
    [] Yourselves
    [] Write-In

    To Make Up For Lost Time:

    [] An Omake/Interlude
    [] A Q&A Session
    [] A Single Hail 2 U Question
    [] 10 Community Salt Tokens
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • Does Old Guy #3's metal staff look like a flower?

    [X] That paraplegic Makiri fellow. He seems personable enough.
    [X] Yourselves, perhaps even your respective familial situations; you feel a kindred spirit in the boy despite his apparent biological descent from kelp. At least he isn't dried out like the other Makiri present.
    [X] A Q&A Session
     
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    [X] Doublestain
    [X] Any Of The Interesting Times At Chinese Store & Progress In The War
    [X] An Omake/Interlude

    It is a Chinese Restaurant.

    And this is the time of Interesting Times.
     
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    [X] That paraplegic Makiri fellow. He seems personable enough.
    [X] Yourselves, perhaps even your respective familial situations; you feel a kindred spirit in the boy despite his apparent biological descent from kelp. At least he isn't dried out like the other Makiri present.
    [X] A Q&A Session

    This Shinji dude sounds like a nice guy :V
     
    [X] Doublestain

    [X] Where Your Servants Are
    -[X] Specifically, where her Archer is, because you really want to go socialize with him and cut out the middle man.

    [X] Tell us the secret of DIO's Stand
     
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