Agamemmnon is effectively the Gilgamesh of this story, who was secretly incarnated in the Third War by the Grail and has been acting to preserve the collective style of humanity from Marik Ishtar's sinister plan of worldwide lobotomization (that evil bastard). To this end, he trained the Yggdmillennia in the ancient Greek arts of style, verse, rhyme, poise and a variant of Pankration that relies heavily on the back of one's hand.

How else could Darnic have transitioned from uniform-toting Nazi double agent to immaculately dressed gentleman?
 
Agamemmnon is effectively the Gilgamesh of this story, who was secretly incarnated in the Third War by the Grail and has been acting to preserve the collective style of humanity from Marik Ishtar's sinister plan of worldwide lobotomization (that evil bastard). To this end, he trained the Yggdmillennia in the ancient Greek arts of style, verse, rhyme, poise and a variant of Pankration that relies heavily on the back of one's hand.

How else could Darnic have transitioned from uniform-toting Nazi double agent to immaculately dressed gentleman?
He was the Caster of the Third War after all :V
 
⌈ Omake - That Blood's Destiny ⌋- OOW
⌈ Omake: That Blood's Destiny ⌋

To Isaac Hemostrus, the entire world seemed to be going up in flames. For once the fire wasn't his fault, but that was a cold comfort in the face of the desolation that scarred the landscape around him. The black sheep of his line struggled to lift himself from the rubble-filled crater in which he rested, but he could hardly even muster the strength to clench his fists, let alone rise to his feet.

"Master of Achilles, I really liked your jive. But it just ain't in the cards for you to survive." An unswervingly confident voice rhymed from afar.

Caster. Not Caster of White nor Caster of Black, for both had perished in the conflict, the latter being slain by Ruler in retaliation for killing that bizarre homunculus who ate the magical core of Saber of Black. Ruler's standards seemed to be as low as a limbo bar, what with his insatiable lust for money and dragon meat, but Isaac had spent enough time around Rider to hardly care about that anymore.

Memories of Rider came rushing back to the surface of Isaac's mind, granting him hatred enough of his foe to raise his head to behold the fiends who orchestrated this disaster. This Caster swaggered forward, clad in an eccentric suit of purple that typically denoted an association with ladies of the evening. Not exactly what one would expect to be worn by one of the key military commanders of the Trojan War. Then again, having the aspect of a goddess as his daughter meant he could dress damn well however he pleased. Indeed, this Caster's ability to tap into the sorceries of Hecate with the legend of Iphigenia as a conduit made Agamemnon a spellcaster on par with the likes of Circe herself, perhaps even greater.

Beside Caster strolled his partner-in-crime, the chief of the Yggdmillennia clan and the mastermind behind both the Great Holy Grail War and the vast multitude of False Grail Wars staged over the years. Atop his head rested the seat of his power, a voluminous feathered white-and-gold hat with several glowing stones embedded on its surface.

"Indeed. Now that I have become the Ultimate Styleform, there is no man or spirit on the face of the planet that can hope to defeat the power of my style." The lord of the now-destroyed House of Yggdmillennia grinned savagely as Agamemnon broke out into a storm of High-Speed Divine Rhymes, blasting Isaac deeper into the crater with a tide of mystic soundwaves.

"All hope is lost, Isaac Hemostrus!" The Eight-Forked Serpent gloated with malicious glee. "Your Servant has returned to the Throne, and Kotomine's bubble burst like the sad, self-pitying little soap opera it was doomed to be. Diomedes is sharing the fate of his rival, and Jackson...well. You know well enough what happened to him." Andrew Jackson's sacrifice would not be forgotten, having spent the last of his remaining Command Seals to prevent Karna from destroying all of Romania with his mighty Brahmastra and being ambushed by a steroid-ridden B-Movie monster that exploded shortly afterward.

"Now that I have the Platonic prototype style of these ancient heroes, combined with my own innovative brand of modern style, there is nothing to stop me from dissolving the Counter Force and instating my new world order!"

"You...damned...madman…" Isaac groaned with fury. "Can't you see we've no shield against the True Demons without the Counter Force?!"

"Oh, I'll just have Gordes take care of it." Ultimate Darnic waved dismissively before strolling toward Isaac with his golden cane in hand. "Now then, I'll enjoy disposing of you personally. You have been a greater thorn in my side that anyone I've met in all my years of life, more so than even that overblown coffee table Gentles." A crackle of ungodly energy raced from Perfect Darnic's hat and into his cane, which he then stabbed down toward Isaac's head-

-only for a jet of pressurized mercury to erupt from his nipples pecs, blasting the cane into the ground inches from his face!

Ultimate Darnic's face grew into a momentary scowl of distaste, and then the ground began to quake with the wrath of an angry god. "W-what sorcery is this?"

"Don't you remember, Darnic?" Isaac's face split into grin from ear to ear. "Diomedes put one last plan into place before you killed him! I'm sure you're awfully familiar with Romania, right? Then you know that this stretch of wilderness is riddled with all sorts of hidden volcanoes!"

"You fool!" Ultimate Darnic roared furiously as the earth beneath the trio exploded, propelling them all into the sky on a flying missile of a miniature island. "The Palladium can do many things, but you and I both know it can't arrange for the death of his foes!"

Meanwhile Agamemnon rehearsed a panicked series of raps as his section of the island crumbled away into the surge of lava that had been infused with Darnic's prana! The Heroic Spirit was claimed by the volcanic torrent and burned to cinders! Ultimate Darnic turned his attention to his dead comrade, then hissed at Isaac with the rage of a vengeful deity.

"No! This isn't the Palladium! Was this all part of your plan, Hemostrus?!"

"Damn right it was! Don't you ever dare to underestimate I, Isaac Hemonstrus!" Actually it was just a fortunate coincidence that Agamemnon died, but Isaac's dialogue kept Ultimate Darnic distracted long enough for him not to notice the platform beneath him exploding into a shower of meteoric stones and propelling him further toward the heavens with unchecked speed!

"You...can't...kill...me…" Darnic rasped through his charred vocal chords as he soared beyond the border between the planet's atmosphere and space. Ice began to crystallize along the edges of his uniform, sparking wild panic in the magus' eyes. "Yooooouuuuu….caaaaaaaaa……" In a matter of minutes, all of his body was entombed in its own frozen flesh. Trapped between a mortal body and a spiritual form, he could not escape from the cold void of space. Darnic eventually stopped thinking.

Isaac awoke on an unfamiliar shore hours later, having survived the descent from the upper atmosphere-

"Master, wake up!" Some bothersome voice interrupts the climax of your thrilling tale.

- by strapping rocks to his feet and skiing into the ocean to reduce the impact of his fall-

"Seriously, you really need to-" WHOOSH! BAM! And now everything is annoyingly loud. It sounds like a damnable warzone out there - can't a man get some rest?!

Ahem. Anyway, Isaac Hemostrus finally earned the pride and affection of his mentor, and the two settled down in-

THWACK!

You return to consciousness, darkness greeting your vision.

"Guess the excitement was a bit much for the lad, eh?" A faintly familiar voice enters your awareness, along with a cold hard object nudging against your face.

You silently curse your company. Waking a man up from such a pleasant dream, how rude!
 
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Omake - Family Reunion?
Assassin of Black returned to the castle, weary and exhausted. It had been a long day, and why wouldn't it be? Life had always had a habit of giving him trials to deal with. Cleaning up after his father. Cleaning up after his friends. Cleaning up after Achilles. Cleaning up after Agammemnon. Cleaning up after Achilles again. Cleaning up after Odysseus. Cleaning up after Aphrodite and her ludicrous spite.

He wound up on top, he always did, but it never got any less tiring to deal with.

And now not only had he finally been presented an opportunity to release his pent up resentment against Achilles, he found even that small consolation spoiled by not one, but two, interfering parties.

The Saber he could understand. Legendary Hero of the Sword against an Assassin of all things. Were he anyone else Diomedes doubted anyone could have done a better job under similar constraints. He doubted even that Legendary Samurai could do any better.

No, the one that truly ground on his nerves was that old man, that Adjudicator.

Dark, dank castle walls lined with torches filled his vision. Pleasant, relaxing music echoed through the corridors, reaching his ears. Assassin of Black sighed at his lot in life, and made way towards the throne room, where his ostensible commander awaited.

"My Lord, I have returned from my scouting mission."

"Iz zat right?" A tinny voice echoed, high pitched and filled with petulant authority, "Report, Assassin." A stubby arm lifted itself, gesturing in an attempt at being imposing.

"I had penetrated the base of operations for the Red Faction, and after incapacitating the two Servants present, attempt to assassinate the three Masters that were left vulnerable."

"The Rider we nose of, who waz ze second?"

"Archer, although I could not discern their identity."

"Wouldz yu say that zey are a match for our own?"

Diomedes paused, raising his head to stare at his liege, "Our own?" He asked, hesitant, "Who has answered the calls as our Archer?"

The imposing figure gestured forth, tossing back dark hair from her rounded features, "Come! Introduce yourselvez."

"Yes!" An entirely too chipper voice responded, "Right away, Onee-sama!"

Assassin of Black tilted his head, confused, "I'm sorry?"

"Not as sorry as I am, buddy." Came the reply of a voice that was far too masculine and tired.

Humming, a figure bounded forth from the shadows next to the stone throne before Diomedes eyes. Wearing a white dress, with equally pale hair, the woman approaching Assassin wore a content smile that was entirely at odds with the atmosphere of their surroundings. But the ever observant Warrior King looked further, noticing that as she stepped further into the light the hem of the woman's dress was not white, but became progressively stained more crimson. As he got a closer look at her, he noticed that the edges of the woman's…generously sized breastplate were stained a blood red.

Hanging behind her was an immaculately carved crescent of bone, with red sinew seeming to connect it to her back. She giggled, an innocent, bloodcurdling sound. And the glow of starlight drew Assassin's notice to the teddy bear that clung to the woman's white hair, seven lights arranged in a familiar shape, and the Lord of the War Cry tasted horror for the first time.

"It can't be…Lord Orion?!" Diomedes gasped, thunderstruck.

"Yeah," The Hunter muttered, "That's me."

"What…what has happened to you?!" The Assassin muttered, looking up the state of his fellow hero.

"My summoning got hijacked by a certain someone, so now I'm stuck like this."

An innocent giggle trilled through the otherwise dead chamber, "I couldn't just leave him alone to get hurt again, you see!"

"Yez…" The true leader of Black Faction muttered, "I haz often wondered if I shoulda done something similar myselv…"

Diomedes eyes widened, his pupils dilating in shock as realization struck, "You must be…Lady Artemis?!"

She waved in response before giggling once again, "Oh it's so nice to meet you! I had always wondered what it would be like for me and Onee-sama to go on a double date! And now we have a chance!"

Orion shot a look at Diomedes which could only be described as pleading.

"Itz a very appealing notion, My Sizter. But for now ve must focus on more prezzing matterz!" A short arm rose up, then down, in a chopping motion, "Assassin! Finish yer report~!"

"Yes, My Master." Inwardly he sighed, "After ambushing them the Priest, naming himself as the Fourth of the Burial Agency, Andrew Jackson, engaged me in battle."

"So you killed the Adjudicator? Good workz, I did not like Yahweh anyway, it iz good to…"

"Actually, My Master, I was beaten by him."

"What."

"Oh dear…" Artemis tutted, "Onee-sama is going to have another episode." The torches began to dim, dying out, "Come along, dear." Orion wordlessly buried himself into his partners hair in order to better defend himself from the fallout.

Diomedes gulped, the light having diminished so far that it was only his high rank in Clairvoyance that allowed him to witness the sheer rage etched on to the comically disproportionate features of his master.

"I was…beaten by him, My Master. For some reason, he possessed the ability to nullify the Palladium and-" In that moment a miniature rocket shot out from the throne, tackling Diomedes to the floor as it began screaming in an incoherent rage.

"ILLKILLHIMKILLHIMKILLHIMSTUPIDJERKYAHWEHTHINKINGSHESSOGOODBECAUSEHISSONDIDHISJOBRIGHTILLKILLTHATSTUPIDOLDBEARDEDBASTARD!!!"

"Umm, I'm sorry Lady, he was quite strong and-" A soft sounded echoed through the chamber as a stubbed arm slapped Assassin in the face.

"SHUT UP! STUPID DIOMEDES! HOW DARE YOU GET BEATEN BY SOMEONE ELSE!"

"But, you know how the members of the Church are, and Yahweh's followers still rely on his strength even now, despite his power as a Divine Spirit being diminished…"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU DIDNT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM BEATING UP HECTOR DID YOU?!"

Diomedes paused, thinking back to lightning strikes and bright flashes of light, "Actually, I did…?"

He was slapped again for his cheek, as expected.

"Don't worry, Lady Athena, I'll get him next time for sure…"

"Cheating old fart…" The small, deformed figure of the Goddess of Wisdom pouted, "If I had been there I totally would have helped you win."

Smiling awkwardly, Diomedes rubbed the hair of his patron goddess as she buried her head into his stomach while mumbling petty thoughts of revenge and disproportionate murder against the Church and it's followers after winning this Grail War.

Well… Assassin of Black thought to himself, This is gonna be a long war.

"Hey." Athena muttered with an awkwardly loud sniffle, "Do yous wanna go with Artemis tonight?"

Diomedes looked away awkwardly, scratching his cheek, "…Maybe?"

A low growling made Diomedes acutely aware that for all the trouble he had when cleaning up after the messes of others, at the very least he was free of the overly clingy advances of his patron goddess most of the time.

Somewhere in the depths of Millennium Castle, Orion snickered.
 
If this is canon then this means this quest is gods vs humanity, gods vs God, and Isaac vs sanity.
There was a moment when I considered having the entire Black Team be populated by beaus of the Olympians, but then I realized I would have to make a Ruler Zeus with an NP of making all living females a part of his unwilling harem

Which basically meant turning Zeus into an old bearded analogue of Dark Schneider.

So I stopped, since that way lies madness.
 
Assassin of Black returned to the castle, weary and exhausted. It had been a long day, and why wouldn't it be? Life had always had a habit of giving him trials to deal with. Cleaning up after his father. Cleaning up after his friends. Cleaning up after Achilles. Cleaning up after Agammemnon. Cleaning up after Achilles again. Cleaning up after Odysseus. Cleaning up after Aphrodite and her ludicrous spite.

He wound up on top, he always did, but it never got any less tiring to deal with.

And now not only had he finally been presented an opportunity to release his pent up resentment against Achilles, he found even that small consolation spoiled by not one, but two, interfering parties.

The Saber he could understand. Legendary Hero of the Sword against an Assassin of all things. Were he anyone else Diomedes doubted anyone could have done a better job under similar constraints. He doubted even that Legendary Samurai could do any better.

No, the one that truly ground on his nerves was that old man, that Adjudicator.

Dark, dank castle walls lined with torches filled his vision. Pleasant, relaxing music echoed through the corridors, reaching his ears. Assassin of Black sighed at his lot in life, and made way towards the throne room, where his ostensible commander awaited.

"My Lord, I have returned from my scouting mission."

"Iz zat right?" A tinny voice echoed, high pitched and filled with petulant authority, "Report, Assassin." A stubby arm lifted itself, gesturing in an attempt at being imposing.

"I had penetrated the base of operations for the Red Faction, and after incapacitating the two Servants present, attempt to assassinate the three Masters that were left vulnerable."

"The Rider we nose of, who waz ze second?"

"Archer, although I could not discern their identity."

"Wouldz yu say that zey are a match for our own?"

Diomedes paused, raising his head to stare at his liege, "Our own?" He asked, hesitant, "Who has answered the calls as our Archer?"

The imposing figure gestured forth, tossing back dark hair from her rounded features, "Come! Introduce yourselvez."

"Yes!" An entirely too chipper voice responded, "Right away, Onee-sama!"

Assassin of Black tilted his head, confused, "I'm sorry?"

"Not as sorry as I am, buddy." Came the reply of a voice that was far too masculine and tired.

Humming, a figure bounded forth from the shadows next to the stone throne before Diomedes eyes. Wearing a white dress, with equally pale hair, the woman approaching Assassin wore a content smile that was entirely at odds with the atmosphere of their surroundings. But the ever observant Warrior King looked further, noticing that as she stepped further into the light the hem of the woman's dress was not white, but became progressively stained more crimson. As he got a closer look at her, he noticed that the edges of the woman's…generously sized breastplate were stained a blood red.

Hanging behind her was an immaculately carved crescent of bone, with red sinew seeming to connect it to her back. She giggled, an innocent, bloodcurdling sound. And the glow of starlight drew Assassin's notice to the teddy bear that clung to the woman's white hair, seven lights arranged in a familiar shape, and the Lord of the War Cry tasted horror for the first time.

"It can't be…Lord Orion?!" Diomedes gasped, thunderstruck.

"Yeah," The Hunter muttered, "That's me."

"What…what has happened to you?!" The Assassin muttered, looking up the state of his fellow hero.

"My summoning got hijacked by a certain someone, so now I'm stuck like this."

An innocent giggle trilled through the otherwise dead chamber, "I couldn't just leave him alone to get hurt again, you see!"

"Yez…" The true leader of Black Faction muttered, "I haz often wondered if I shoulda done something similar myselv…"

Diomedes eyes widened, his pupils dilating in shock as realization struck, "You must be…Lady Artemis?!"

She waved in response before giggling once again, "Oh it's so nice to meet you! I had always wondered what it would be like for me and Onee-sama to go on a double date! And now we have a chance!"

Orion shot a look at Diomedes which could only be described as pleading.

"Itz a very appealing notion, My Sizter. But for now ve must focus on more prezzing matterz!" A short arm rose up, then down, in a chopping motion, "Assassin! Finish yer report~!"

"Yes, My Master." Inwardly he sighed, "After ambushing them the Priest, naming himself as the Fourth of the Burial Agency, Andrew Jackson, engaged me in battle."

"So you killed the Adjudicator? Good workz, I did not like Yahweh anyway, it iz good to…"

"Actually, My Master, I was beaten by him."

"What."

"Oh dear…" Artemis tutted, "Onee-sama is going to have another episode." The torches began to dim, dying out, "Come along, dear." Orion wordlessly buried himself into his partners hair in order to better defend himself from the fallout.

Diomedes gulped, the light having diminished so far that it was only his high rank in Clairvoyance that allowed him to witness the sheer rage etched on to the comically disproportionate features of his master.

"I was…beaten by him, My Master. For some reason, he possessed the ability to nullify the Palladium and-" In that moment a miniature rocket shot out from the throne, tackling Diomedes to the floor as it began screaming in an incoherent rage.

"ILLKILLHIMKILLHIMKILLHIMSTUPIDJERKYAHWEHTHINKINGSHESSOGOODBECAUSEHISSONDIDHISJOBRIGHTILLKILLTHATSTUPIDOLDBEARDEDBASTARD!!!"

"Umm, I'm sorry Lady, he was quite strong and-" A soft sounded echoed through the chamber as a stubbed arm slapped Assassin in the face.

"SHUT UP! STUPID DIOMEDES! HOW DARE YOU GET BEATEN BY SOMEONE ELSE!"

"But, you know how the members of the Church are, and Yahweh's followers still rely on his strength even now, despite his power as a Divine Spirit being diminished…"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU DIDNT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM BEATING UP HECTOR DID YOU?!"

Diomedes paused, thinking back to lightning strikes and bright flashes of light, "Actually, I did…?"

He was slapped again for his cheek, as expected.

"Don't worry, Lady Athena, I'll get him next time for sure…"

"Cheating old fart…" The small, deformed figure of the Goddess of Wisdom pouted, "If I had been there I totally would have helped you win."

Smiling awkwardly, Diomedes rubbed the hair of his patron goddess as she buried her head into his stomach while mumbling petty thoughts of revenge and disproportionate murder against the Church and it's followers after winning this Grail War.

Well… Assassin of Black thought to himself, This is gonna be a long war.

"Hey." Athena muttered with an awkwardly loud sniffle, "Do yous wanna go with Artemis tonight?"

Diomedes looked away awkwardly, scratching his cheek, "…Maybe?"

A low growling made Diomedes acutely aware that for all the trouble he had when cleaning up after the messes of others, at the very least he was free of the overly clingy advances of his patron goddess most of the time.

Somewhere in the depths of Millennium Castle, Orion snickered.

.... Where is the WTF rating?
 
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