Reach Da Stars Through Hurtin' Stuff - Ork "Civilisation" Quest
- Thread starter EarthScorpion
- Start date
I think that just reflects how there really haven't been any bad options; I find that I don't really mind even when something I'd have chosen as my first pick doesn't win.
So kudos to EarthScorpion.
Vote closed
ConfusedCanuck
Where did it all go wrong?
- Location
- Neverland
I'm loving how close theses' votes are every time! I contribute that to the fact all of the options so far are so in character for Ork's that there's no real wrong answer!
And really I can't wait for us to get to the point where we start deciding on who we go and fight I'm sure that will be a blast for us as well!
But seriously I know some have already said this but EarthScorpon kudo's on this! This quest is well thought out and absolutely unique, I can't wait to see where this go's so keep it up!
And really I can't wait for us to get to the point where we start deciding on who we go and fight I'm sure that will be a blast for us as well!
But seriously I know some have already said this but EarthScorpon kudo's on this! This quest is well thought out and absolutely unique, I can't wait to see where this go's so keep it up!
Modus_Tollens
SCREAMING AT THE APOCALYPSE
- Location
- ALSO SCREAMING.
Our heavily irradiated spores are going to be goddamn amazing.
- Location
- in the trash
it's just the ork tendency towards infighting over every single thing manifesting
Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
No it izn't.
- Location
- in the trash
shut up ya cheeky git, i kan see wot ya're try'n ta pull
Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
You'z askin fo a krumpin ya iz!
- Location
- A big rock
OI' EF I'z see yah gitz mucking about instead of aving a propah brawl, I'z gonna krump yah!
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- Location
- Anchorage, Alaska
WWWWAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!
WE NEDZ MORE GROTZ TA KRUMP AN TA MAK ALL DA STUF, OTHERWIZ WE HAVE TA DO IT URSELVZ YA GIT, AN DAT MENZ NO FIGHTIN!!!
Functionality
The Scholar
- Location
- At the Library
- Pronouns
- He
Oi, are you boyz gonna ave a propa fight over this problem, or are you gitz just gonna keep yellin' at each other?
Jonen C
F.M.D.G.
- Location
- Lincopense, Ostrogothia, Suecia
'elp me manage me time budget.
Dark: Sleep.
Dawn: Wake up, eat
Morn to noon: Fightin
Noon to eve: Fightin
Dusk: Fightin
Night: Fight til youz get knockered.
I iz starving and don't haf stuff, what do?
- Location
- Anchorage, Alaska
DATZ EAZ YA GIT! AT NOON YA FIGHT AND EAT! AND AT DUSK YA FIGHT AN EAT AGAIN! DAT WAY YOU EAT TWO TIMZ AS MUCH WHILE FIGHIN!
alsa if ya krump a beaky or a hard-head-boar ya can eat em allz!
ALSO! if ya dunt have stuff, get da grotz ta help loot ya killz, dat way ya can keep fighin and winning!
Max Uristwell
Custodian of the Toobs
- Location
- United Kingdom
You'z spendin' too much time mukkin' about sleepin'!
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
'av you considered fightin' more? It cud be dat if you krump a buncha fings, you'll stop being 'ungry!
Grot Grabbin'
As the white sky stuff - called 'snow' on the grounds that they had snow idea what it was - built up on the swamp and the surface of the water turned hard and fun to smash, the orks ran into a problem. Namely, they wanted more mushrooms, but the gretchin hangers-on of the tribe had been sadly depleted due to the local predators and the actions of the orks
Some things in the world are just too cruel to easily be encompassed with words. One of them which so afflicted the orks of the Blue Flash tribe was the necessity to do things other than exactly what you feel like doing at any present moment. Among humans, the requirement to do things you don't want to do is considered to be part of growing up. Among orks, gretchin exist to handle those things.
This can be considered to be one of the major differences between the two species.
Rather than doing anything foolish like considering how they had wound up in the current situation, the orks instead had a punch-up over whether to try to grow more mushrooms or hunt down more grotz to do it for them. A particularly vicious elbow drop from an ork named Bludrok was widely agreed to be the most convincing argument they heard, and so the orks set out into the frozen landscape to engage in grotnapping.
As nothing in life can ever be easy, they ran into three main problems. Firstly, gretchin were frankly smarter than their big brother-species, and so better at hiding. Secondly, the white covering the land confused the orks and gave the grotz plenty of places to hide under the snow. And thirdly, when they did find some grotz, the orks were by that point understandably irritable and tended to hit the grotz hard enough that the subdual was decidedly non-non-lethal. Add that to the inevitable casualties inflicted by tired, hungry, cold orks carrying grotz back to the village, and it really wasn't proving all that effective.
As the saying went, necessity was the mother of invention. Orks, of course, never said so because they didn't have parents. However, the orkish equivalent was perhaps less pithy, but more honest, being "If ya need somefing, you're gotta find a way to get it". And under these pressures, some of the orks learned and developed in a way they never had before. Which wasn't exactly saying all that much considering how young their fledgling society was, but it was still something.
By the depths of winter, the society of the little tribe had undergone some notable changes. Some of the boys had proven to be a lot better at tracking down grotz and grabbing them. Another associated skill was the ability to resist the urge to eat more than a few of them when trudging back to the village. As a result, the boys who were best at this had started to describe their profession as 'grabba'. As no orks wanted to clean the middens or have to pick their own fungus, the grabba boys had swiftly grown powerful.
Two figures from the grot huntas stood out from all the others.
The first of them was Nasha the Snatcher. A head taller than most of the other orks around, he was a lanky specimen of an ork, with a strange stretched-out posture that meant his head sometimes rose above shoulder level. Keen-sensed and with an uncanny ability to get into the heads of his prey, he somehow could track a trio of fleeing grots across rivers and through snow and snatch them up. More than that, too, he was widely liked in the tribe. Or at least admired for his affable way of beating people around the head with his big club studded with stone shards and his mastery of eye-gourging. He cut an imposing figure with his untanned boar skin wrapped around his shoulders and his large collection of lucky trophies hanging from plant-fibre cords.
The second was Zorbag the Trappa. Where Nasha found the trails of his prey and chased them down, Zorbag was always fiddling with swamp plants, cording them into ropes, and digging pits. He stabbed trees to get their sticky sap and mixed it with boar blood to get something that he spread around the mouth of grot holes and waited for their screams when they found they were stuck. He wasn't the only one of the grot huntas who were playing around with them, but Zorbag had an intuitive eye for how the things lying around the swamp could be used to trap grots. Much more squat and broad than his rival, his hands were usually stained with things from the swamp and even by ork standards, his hygiene was appalling.
Both of them were letting things go to their head. They'd give orders to other orks, and expect them to be followed - and not just because they'd beat someone up if it wasn't done right now. No, they'd use their successes at getting grotz as a leverage. If someone didn't do what they said, they weren't going to be getting any of the grotz they dragged back. And then that poor ork might have to do their own work.
"I's the Big Ork!"
"No, I is!"
Naturally this put the two of them into conflict, and so as things were slowly starting to warm up the tribe found the two of them facing off against each other around the fire. Zorbag was flaunting he'd captured more grotz over all, but Nasha had the counter-argument that some days Zorbag got nothing while Nasha nearly always came back with a few grots in his grabby sack. More than that, he had more boys on his side. This was a little hard to ascertain because neither ork was any good at counting, but the fact he was considered more likeable by the rest of the tribe meant he was probably right.
And then there was the flip side. A whole bunch of the boys didn't actually want to listen to someone. The tribe had always resolved all its arguments by having a big brawl until one argument won out. Why should things change? They just needed to fight over every decision. Both Zorbag and Nasha had no time for that argument, because it'd stop people listening to them. And - from the rumbling - one or more of them might leave and take their boys with them if the others said they were never ever gonna listen to them.
The Blue Flash tribe was faced with a dilemma over this new and revolutionary idea of a single 'Big Ork' that had the potential to upheave their whole social structure. Such as it was.
Who does the tribe back as the 'Big Ork'?
[ ] Nasha da Snatcha. He's cunningly brutal, broadly liked by the tribe, and his boys are good at runnin' after things over long distances, trackin' them, and smashin' things over the head when they're all tired from running. ['Big Ork' position created]
[ ] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
[ ] Neither - they beat up both of them for thinkin' they can give orders. The Blue Flash tribe is gonna decide what to do based on old fashioned battle royale brawls over every single decision, no matter how small. It's worked for them so far and they ain't changing. [Reject 'Big Ork' position]
Some things in the world are just too cruel to easily be encompassed with words. One of them which so afflicted the orks of the Blue Flash tribe was the necessity to do things other than exactly what you feel like doing at any present moment. Among humans, the requirement to do things you don't want to do is considered to be part of growing up. Among orks, gretchin exist to handle those things.
This can be considered to be one of the major differences between the two species.
Rather than doing anything foolish like considering how they had wound up in the current situation, the orks instead had a punch-up over whether to try to grow more mushrooms or hunt down more grotz to do it for them. A particularly vicious elbow drop from an ork named Bludrok was widely agreed to be the most convincing argument they heard, and so the orks set out into the frozen landscape to engage in grotnapping.
As nothing in life can ever be easy, they ran into three main problems. Firstly, gretchin were frankly smarter than their big brother-species, and so better at hiding. Secondly, the white covering the land confused the orks and gave the grotz plenty of places to hide under the snow. And thirdly, when they did find some grotz, the orks were by that point understandably irritable and tended to hit the grotz hard enough that the subdual was decidedly non-non-lethal. Add that to the inevitable casualties inflicted by tired, hungry, cold orks carrying grotz back to the village, and it really wasn't proving all that effective.
As the saying went, necessity was the mother of invention. Orks, of course, never said so because they didn't have parents. However, the orkish equivalent was perhaps less pithy, but more honest, being "If ya need somefing, you're gotta find a way to get it". And under these pressures, some of the orks learned and developed in a way they never had before. Which wasn't exactly saying all that much considering how young their fledgling society was, but it was still something.
By the depths of winter, the society of the little tribe had undergone some notable changes. Some of the boys had proven to be a lot better at tracking down grotz and grabbing them. Another associated skill was the ability to resist the urge to eat more than a few of them when trudging back to the village. As a result, the boys who were best at this had started to describe their profession as 'grabba'. As no orks wanted to clean the middens or have to pick their own fungus, the grabba boys had swiftly grown powerful.
Two figures from the grot huntas stood out from all the others.
The first of them was Nasha the Snatcher. A head taller than most of the other orks around, he was a lanky specimen of an ork, with a strange stretched-out posture that meant his head sometimes rose above shoulder level. Keen-sensed and with an uncanny ability to get into the heads of his prey, he somehow could track a trio of fleeing grots across rivers and through snow and snatch them up. More than that, too, he was widely liked in the tribe. Or at least admired for his affable way of beating people around the head with his big club studded with stone shards and his mastery of eye-gourging. He cut an imposing figure with his untanned boar skin wrapped around his shoulders and his large collection of lucky trophies hanging from plant-fibre cords.
The second was Zorbag the Trappa. Where Nasha found the trails of his prey and chased them down, Zorbag was always fiddling with swamp plants, cording them into ropes, and digging pits. He stabbed trees to get their sticky sap and mixed it with boar blood to get something that he spread around the mouth of grot holes and waited for their screams when they found they were stuck. He wasn't the only one of the grot huntas who were playing around with them, but Zorbag had an intuitive eye for how the things lying around the swamp could be used to trap grots. Much more squat and broad than his rival, his hands were usually stained with things from the swamp and even by ork standards, his hygiene was appalling.
Both of them were letting things go to their head. They'd give orders to other orks, and expect them to be followed - and not just because they'd beat someone up if it wasn't done right now. No, they'd use their successes at getting grotz as a leverage. If someone didn't do what they said, they weren't going to be getting any of the grotz they dragged back. And then that poor ork might have to do their own work.
"I's the Big Ork!"
"No, I is!"
Naturally this put the two of them into conflict, and so as things were slowly starting to warm up the tribe found the two of them facing off against each other around the fire. Zorbag was flaunting he'd captured more grotz over all, but Nasha had the counter-argument that some days Zorbag got nothing while Nasha nearly always came back with a few grots in his grabby sack. More than that, he had more boys on his side. This was a little hard to ascertain because neither ork was any good at counting, but the fact he was considered more likeable by the rest of the tribe meant he was probably right.
And then there was the flip side. A whole bunch of the boys didn't actually want to listen to someone. The tribe had always resolved all its arguments by having a big brawl until one argument won out. Why should things change? They just needed to fight over every decision. Both Zorbag and Nasha had no time for that argument, because it'd stop people listening to them. And - from the rumbling - one or more of them might leave and take their boys with them if the others said they were never ever gonna listen to them.
The Blue Flash tribe was faced with a dilemma over this new and revolutionary idea of a single 'Big Ork' that had the potential to upheave their whole social structure. Such as it was.
Who does the tribe back as the 'Big Ork'?
[ ] Nasha da Snatcha. He's cunningly brutal, broadly liked by the tribe, and his boys are good at runnin' after things over long distances, trackin' them, and smashin' things over the head when they're all tired from running. ['Big Ork' position created]
[ ] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
[ ] Neither - they beat up both of them for thinkin' they can give orders. The Blue Flash tribe is gonna decide what to do based on old fashioned battle royale brawls over every single decision, no matter how small. It's worked for them so far and they ain't changing. [Reject 'Big Ork' position]
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- Location
- Canada
Glorious
and of course the only good option is to take the most Gork like Ork
[X] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
Da Blue is a Gift from Mork
and of course the only good option is to take the most Gork like Ork
[X] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
Da Blue is a Gift from Mork
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Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
- Location
- The sixth circle of Hell (second on weekends)
- Pronouns
- She/Her
[X] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
Zorbag gets more grotz overall, an' that means less of da Boyz 'av to do work wiv 'im in charge, so I'm for Zorbag da Trappa!
Zorbag gets more grotz overall, an' that means less of da Boyz 'av to do work wiv 'im in charge, so I'm for Zorbag da Trappa!
[X] Neither - they beat up both of them for thinkin' they can give orders. The Blue Flash tribe is gonna decide what to do based on old fashioned battle royale brawls over every single decision, no matter how small. It's worked for them so far and they ain't changing. [Reject 'Big Ork' position]
Just because I love the idea of a totally democratic tribe of Orks, plus it's funny.
Just because I love the idea of a totally democratic tribe of Orks, plus it's funny.
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[X] Zorbag da Trappa. He's brutally cunning, good with the gizmos, and his boys are good at settin' traps, fiddling with stuff they find, and hitting things over the head when they're looking the other way. ['Big Ork' position created]
- Location
- Where I an right now
[X] Nasha da Snatcha. He's cunningly brutal, broadly liked by the tribe, and his boys are good at runnin' after things over long distances, trackin' them, and smashin' things over the head when they're all tired from running. ['Big Ork' position created]
I'm pretty sure this is the path to Kommandos
I'm pretty sure this is the path to Kommandos