Progenitor (Amelia Hebert AU)
- Thread starter Metaldragon868
- Start date
nmWarden
Webcomic Glutton
- Location
- Texas
Why would Vicky be upset if Dean told one person about something he suspects she is afraid of? Sure there is the whole "violating her privacy" thing, but there are genuine mental health concerns for Vicky and her family here, so she'd get over that. There is the possibility that someone with knowledge of her fear could use it against her (blackmail, sabotaging friendships, going to the press with a scandal...), but is that a common nightmare for "innocent puppy" Vicky?
I don't want to assume Vicky is genuinely brutish when she is unhappy without evidence. To put it another way I don't want to assume she will whine like a banshee and lash out recklessly. I get why Dean's decision here is a problem, but I'm not sure it would be especially difficult to forgive.
I can't put myself into Vicky's shoes to imagine the feeling of betrayal of learning what Dean did here.
With all of that out of the way, thank you for the incredibly entertaining chapter! I look forward to Amelia stalking Taylor and Shielder on their totally-not-a-date.
I don't want to assume Vicky is genuinely brutish when she is unhappy without evidence. To put it another way I don't want to assume she will whine like a banshee and lash out recklessly. I get why Dean's decision here is a problem, but I'm not sure it would be especially difficult to forgive.
I can't put myself into Vicky's shoes to imagine the feeling of betrayal of learning what Dean did here.
With all of that out of the way, thank you for the incredibly entertaining chapter! I look forward to Amelia stalking Taylor and Shielder on their totally-not-a-date.
- Location
- Texas
Not as bad as the period where Amy deleted her emotions so she wouldn't have to deal with the grief of losing another parent.
I'll be frank, I'm mostly ambivalent about Amy/Vicky romance being a thing. I'm still trying to make up my mind as to where, exactly, it goes, and romance is still technically on the table. However, I probably won't do it seeing as how I feel that there are depressingly few stories where two people can be good friends without also being in love. Friendship is the best ship, in my opinion, and I'll take a good bromance over another hamfisted attempt at romance for romance's sake any day.
Also, as for Dean and Vicky, I'm trying to write them so that they are people first and foremost, with wants, needs, and flaws, and that all those things happen to conflict with Amy's wants and needs.
I was actually originally going to have Amy have a crush on Vicky. That's how it played out in the first drafts and I even have a note in the original outline that Amy would be, quote, a "Raging Lesbian Tentacle Monster". However, at a certain point I felt that this current course made more sense, was more fun to write, and more entertaining on the whole.
Regarding this:
It is indeed very disturbing in it's implications. The problem is that Vicky is self-deceiving/ignorant of the consequences. Dean, in an attempt to go for the "everyone be friends" route is ignoring the very disturbing implications of Vicky's Radiance. And Amy just doesn't care about other people enough to mind the idea that Vicky may or may not be brainwashing large groups of people into being her best friend. Now, however, that Taylor is involved and in the area of effect, it's going to be a whole different story.
The problem with this argument is that you assume that a teenage girl with superpowers, or indeed any normal human, would look at things through objective logic. Sure, the healthy thing for Vicky would be to air out these concerns and fears.
But that's not how humans work. From what Dean can tell, this is Vicky's deepest darkest fear, that for all the people who "love" her, not a single person would actually care if she hadn't triggered. If she told him that in confidence because he was the one person she could actually trust liked her for her, then that would be a massive betrayal of trust. It doesn't matter if it was, objectively, for her own good or not. It's also not about the possibility of some villain using it against her or something. It's a massive betrayal and it would mean that she could never really trust him again.
If Dean told other people her deepest darkest fear "For her own good" without her consent, Vicky should have every right to be angry. I mean, I'd personally be absolutely furious if I was in Vicky's shoes. I probably wouldn't do much, but I'm not an overly emotional or rash person. Vicky is absolutely an emotional and rash person.
Hmm...okay, I'll keep that in mind. I was worried about how that would come out, but both the people who pre-read it said that it was totally ok, excellent even, so I went ahead with it.
I think that it's also an issue of taste. Some people, such as yourself, find that kind of thing to undermine a story. Other people, like I'm assuming my beta's, love that kind of thing. I personally like nods to canon or little moments that go, "look at how things have changed". I can't really describe why, it just feels nice. Maybe because it's like a little inside joke? That said, I dislike fics that can't also stand on their own two feet or, even worse, are just a re-hash of canon.
In any case, I think it may have been a bit heavy-handed with the kissing part, but that feels heavy-handed to me because it's very bold and...sexually provocative. The issue for me was never that it was too much of a callback to canon, but instead that it was too much of a blunt provocation.
And in case it was in any doubt, no, Dean was not thinking of making a harem when he came up with the idea to "help". He actually genuinely thought it was in the best interest of the two people involved since Amy is...abrasive and a parahuman who is immune to master effects and Vicky is a heroic parahuman who has a problem with mastering people. As he saw it Victoria could help convince Amy to either become a hero or at least stay on the heroic side, since from his perspective Amy is dangerously close to enacting villianous behavior, and Amy could be another true friend to Vicky since if Amy became her friend it wouldn't be because of Vicky's Radiance. That's his thoughts on the matter.
When Amy said he was thinking about the harem what was meant was that when Amy brought it up, about 90% of Dean was like, "No, that's a terrible idea," while the 10% of Dean that is a teenage male with raging hormones was like, "That sounds like an amazing idea, do it". It's something he'd easily be able to brush aside, but since it's a physical reaction Amy could still pick up on it pretty easily, especially since she guessed it would happen, it's why she said it. Amy's goal was to fluster and distract him by bringing up uncomfortable subjects for him.
Anyways, in other news I've set the poll up for what you guys would like the 2nd interlude to be on. If you guys come up with a perspective not on the list that I haven't considered, I'll put it on there. Just suggest the name and I'll tell you whether I can do it or not, at which point it'll go on the poll. The poll will last until such time that I feel like it's over cause I'm not putting a time on this. I'm bad with timers.
So, go vote, ask questions, let me know what you think so on and so forth. I've got work but I should be able to respond by tomorrow.
E.I.G.
Robo-Bird
- Pronouns
- It/They
... just actually started reading today. I like shapeshifting, and horror monsters from the monster's side is typically a fairly neat take on that.
Too bad I found this at the point where Dean is being a pushy asshole who is quite possibly getting his girlfriend scarred for life. Because Amelia does not like Vicky here on the kind of fundamental level where I just cannot stand the whole "Oh, but you must be friendly friends to fix the things" line he's using.
It pisses me off to see that idea, it really does, and from there is basically two ways this can go as far as I see:
- Vicky actually becomes a friend and all the nice things happens, which I might tolerate if handled extremely well.
- Vicky is, directly or indirectly, responsible for Taylor triggering, and is lucky, or maybe 'lucky', to get out of that situation alive.
Either way the next update is almost certainly going to be an awkward thing for me, because I hate this kind of self sacrifice despite one's own feelings just to appease this need for someone to have friends.
Too bad I found this at the point where Dean is being a pushy asshole who is quite possibly getting his girlfriend scarred for life. Because Amelia does not like Vicky here on the kind of fundamental level where I just cannot stand the whole "Oh, but you must be friendly friends to fix the things" line he's using.
It pisses me off to see that idea, it really does, and from there is basically two ways this can go as far as I see:
- Vicky actually becomes a friend and all the nice things happens, which I might tolerate if handled extremely well.
- Vicky is, directly or indirectly, responsible for Taylor triggering, and is lucky, or maybe 'lucky', to get out of that situation alive.
Either way the next update is almost certainly going to be an awkward thing for me, because I hate this kind of self sacrifice despite one's own feelings just to appease this need for someone to have friends.
hellgodsrus
Actual Real Game Dev!
- Location
- Behind You
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I understand the Victoria here has a different from canon power - I take it this includes a massively boosted emotional aura as in canon it's nowhere near this level of impact and is, explicitly, directly under her control?
- Location
- Texas
Sorta, yeah. More details about Vicky's power will be provided later. It'd also turn up in her interlude if you want that.
I've considered doing a post explaining in detail what her powers are, but I feel like it'd be better to explain it organically on the story as opposed to bluntly through naked exposition.
ScottotheUnwise
Verified Crack (fic) Dealer
- Location
- Mulberry, Fl
Or MAYBE the author is showing that this Amy is not so used to feeling Mastered that she doesn't notice it and so reacts badly to the overt manipulation for what it is.
Even ninja'd by the author this idea stands.
It is affectting Taylor that much because she is already gobsmacked by Vicky herself.
- Location
- An Ghaeltacht ar líne
Uhhh, by Romeo and Juliet, do you mean the tragic tale of teenage lust where both teenagers die because of familial idiocy? 'Cause that's not the healthiest comparison if we're Frank(even though that's not actually my name, or yours'. Or is it???).
- Location
- France
Yes, I know that's how the story goes. It's just that it's used more for the "star-crossed lovers from two opposing sides" aspect whenever it's referenced, but that's a mouthful.
And it's still a surprisingly rare ship, even in stories where Amy was never adopted by the Dallons and it's therefore not pseudo-incest. Those are usually SkitterPan. The only rarer ship involving popular characters I can think of is Amy/Lisa. Again: surprisingly uncommon for two characters shipped with Taylor so often.
- Location
- Texas
Honestly, at this point the most likely ship to actually happen is Amy x Crawler, if only because the idea amuses me.
Well, that and Amy has an...unusual...sexuality, combined with the fact she that could match Crawler point for point, adaption for adaption, if they ever met. So that'd be fun.
Well I can safely say neither of those things are happening. Amy and Vicky will most probably:
Become romantically involved with each other(Unlikely), become best friends(Likely), or become frenemies that share a mutual respect and dislike of one another. Like, uh, Vegeta and Goku, Loki and Thor, Xavier and Magneto, something like that. (Very Likely). One of those things will happen as a result of a big fat S-class coming to town, wrecking shit, and all in all being the much bigger problem that forces the two to work together to solve. Which threat it'll be is still a bit up in the air, I got two primary ideas at the moment, neither of which is the S9, but whatever happens it should be fun.
But yeah, i don't intend for Vicky and Amy to become friends anytime soon.
Also, I may have fumbled how I displayed Vicky's power. It looks like people are interpreting that it's more powerful than I intended, perhaps. I'll probably need to do something to clear that up, but I'd rather not have naked exposition and if Vicky isn't the interlude subject it probably won't be happening too soon. Plus I feel like it's better to explain it in the context of the story using more vague yet practile terms, as opposed to saying something like, "Everyone within a 23.57 m radius of Victoria Dallon will experience a +1.864% increase in net happiness every 3.14 seconds", which just sounds so clunky and ugh. I mean, I love math, but I don't want to make people try and do area and rate formulas just to understand the story.
Anyways, it looks like Annette(Past) is winning so far. So that'll be interesting. I'll probably release something this weekend. Maybe. Possible. If I can be bothered.
Hopefully this has been helpful.
E.I.G.
Robo-Bird
- Pronouns
- It/They
... yeah, this stuff is typically how this "but you need friends and she needs friends so obviously you should be friends" plot goes.
Massive threat happens, pair needs to work together, suddenly the thing causing issues isn't anymore. Happy fun times for all.
Yeah, I think you have, because Amelia has a very visceral hatred of the effect that honestly is bad enough as shown to make just prolonged contact seem nonviable, let alone an attempt at friendship.
So far every time they have met it has caused Amelia to just short of fly into a rage, and given Vicky can't turn it off I don't see how that is fixable.
- Location
- America
But how will the Crawler ship happen then?
E.L.G. does have a point that Vicky and Amy becoming friends due to having to work together is a trope, so be careful to not overdo it and have there still be some tension between themselves. You're competent enough that I'm not very worried though.
- Location
- Earth
I *like* the Annette of the Past in this fic, but I feel like it's a bit early for an Interlude all about her - and I think Interludes work much, much better if they aren't time-shifted. But I guess we'll see how it goes, because at this point it doesn't look like there's any stopping the Annette Train.
- Location
- Texas
Well first and foremost, no, that's not how it works. Vicky's Radiance does not, in it of itself, incite rage in Amy. It's...I suppose it's kind of like having a phone. Everytime Amy gets hit with Vicky's Radiance, it's like Vicky's calling her phone to ask if they can be friends. Amy doesn't really want to be friends with Vicky, so she hangs up and moves on with life. She does this so often that's it's barely even a second thought most times. It's just routine.
However, as per this chapter, Vicky has just made it onto Amy's shit list. Because she's on Amy's shit list, Amy is now thoroughly pissed off whenever Vicky calls to ask if they can be friends. That's what's happening.
All Amy does to counter Vicky is reset her brain. It's a tiny hiccup in her cognition, a minor inconvenience, but when one is pissed off, especially at one person in particular, even the smallest of inconveniences can set you off.
And second of all, I think the friends thing is a matter of taste. I, for one, love enemies teaming up to deal with larger issues and parting on better terms. Is it a trope? Sure, and it's one of my all time favorites. At the same time, it's largely an issue of how it's done. It can be hamfisted, blunt, and rushed, resulting in a mess where two people have their relationship take a complete 180 for very shallow reasons. Or, conversely, you can have Londo and G'Kar. If I manage to reach even a fraction of the level that Straczynski reached with that, then I'll be amazed.
The event in question is so far in the future I can't rightly say one way or another how it'll play out in the specifics. I highly doubt that I'll just have them shake hands, alls forgiven, time for ice cream and rainbows, given I apparently love angst. Still, I can't say for certain. It'll probably end up with lots of sniping at each other. Good old friendly shit throwing. Eternal rivalry, etc etc.
Anyways, if you don't like the idea of that, then I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. It's happening, it's a part of the story, it's not going away. Posting this chapter has locked me into Amy and Vicky's plotline, and I happen to like this plotline. It's not the only plotline, so if you still want to read this story than you can totally just think of this as the one part you don't like. There's going to be a lot of things happening and Amy and Vicky's relationship is far from the driving plot.
But, if them eventually working together to deal with a bigger bad, or indeed ever becoming friendly at all, is such a turn off for you, then that's a shame, but oh well. If it's merely a matter of taste, as it appears to be, then that's really all there is to say on that. I have certain tastes that I'm working within this fic, and you just happen to not like some of them. Simple as that.
If you can give me any constructive criticism, comments, or ideas regarding such plotlines, I'll happily take them under consideration. Taste is subjective, though, so I can't do much about that. Can't please everyone.
I wish you the best, but I hope you can understand why I'm not dropping it.
Fucked if I know. I don't even know what I'm doing with the S9 right. They're like Shrodinger's murderhobos. They're either completely fucked, or they're still roaming dicks that happen to not be at the top of most people shit list.
I mean, I want to do some stuff with them, but the problem is that I have too many ideas for them, and they are mutually exclusive. They also aren't central to the endgame of the fic, as it currently stands. Useful, but not central. In the first version of the story, they had a much more important role, but then I learned a few more details about how they operate and decided to make the AU a more AU.
But, to be frank, the most likely outcome regarding Amy's love life is that she just doesn't hook up with anyone. As it stands, Amy's probably going to be one of the variations of Asexual. This is based on the fact that during the period of time in Amy's life where she was supposed to be developing her sexual preferences, she instead got the power to be literally anyone she wanted. When you can turn into a puddle of goo with about the same effort as it takes most people to slouch, I'd imagine that defining your sexual tastes becomes much harder.
But that's a big long disccusion for another day.
You may have a point, but I've already got an interlude in mind for Annette, something I would have liked to do for Thanksgiving/Christmas. It's more Annette than Matriarch, if you will. It'll give some insight into the old family dynamics and whatnot.
But it's also possible that Annette won't win. Piggot's in 2nd here, and I'm running the same poll on SB, where Annette isn't currently close to winning. So we'll see what happens.
Anyways, I'm currently sick. So fuck if I know when the next chapter's coming. I sure as fuck don't feel like editing.
I'll either post the interlude or the omake next, we'll see. The Interlude is more "done", but it's also something I care more about being perfect. I'm fine with just slapping the rest of the omake together and calling it a day.
We'll see what happens.
The More things Change...(Non-canon)
- Location
- Texas
The More They Shouldn't Stay the Same
A/n: This couldn't even be canon if I wanted it to be.
The day at Brockton Bay Central Bank began as any other.
The tellers came to their booths, the doors unlocked, and the customers flooded in. Lines were made, checks were cashed, and accounts were opened. Another day, business as usual.
It all came to an end when a black fog came silently rolling in. It curled in, hugging the walls and exits. The windows became hidden behind the smoke, and all sound from the outside world was snuffed out. It was like a curtain of deep black had been drawn upon the world.
The customers huddled against the counters and columns of the lobby. The feeble few security guards pulling out guns and tasers with shaky hands. Then, unbidden, their hands twitched, dropping them. Before they could collect them again, something hit them in the neck. They had just enough time to grunt and reach for it before they each fell unconscious.
With the last guard asleep on the ground, they came.
Out of the rolling black, came five capes. One dressed as a renaissance jest, another the mask of a dog. One man wore thick bike leathers and helmet stylized with a skull, concealing every inch of skin from sight, while one girl wore a purple and black catsuit and a domino mask that left little to the imagination. The last to leave was a lithe androgynous figure wearing dark segmented armor whose golden-eyed helmet let their long, wavy, black hair cascading down their back.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" The girl in the catsuit called out with a smile spun from silk, gathering the attention of all inside, "May we have your attention please!"
The man in black leathers stepped forward. More of the black smog billowed out of vents fashioned into his costume. "You might know us as the Undersiders. We're just here for money and valuables in the bank. Don't interfere and don't play a hero, and no one gets hurt. Get in our way, and well…"
The man in black leathers gestured with an open hand to the rest of his team.
Three large beasts ranging from the size of a horse to that of a bear jumped out of the fog. Horns, spikes, and plates of bone adorned their muscled flesh. Two of them circled around the edges of the bank, teeth bared as they waited for someone to make a move. The last one hovered over the Underside in the dog mask, waiting on them like a faithful pet.
The figure in armor waved a hand through the air, and a swarm of insectoid creatures came crawling, flying, and hopping out of every corner of mist in the bank. They ranged in size from that of a simple housefly to imposing and nightmarish figures as large as a great dane.
One of the smaller scorpion-like creatures crawled up the shirt of one of the tellers, resting on their arm with stinger raised in anticipation.
"My swarm doesn't happen to like people very much." The armored figure threatened in a surprisingly feminine voice, "I wouldn't make any sudden moves...or I might not be responsible for what happens next."
"Same," Added the dog masked Undersider in a gruff voice.
"So," The catsuited one said with a Cheshire grin, "As you can see, it's in your best interest to jus-"
"Taylor?" A voice in the crowd interrupted.
"Oh shit," the armored one whispered.
"Taylor, I swear to god, if that's you in there…"
The one in segmented armor cleared their throat and in a clearly forced deep voice said, "I don't know who you're talking about, my name is…uh...Monarch."
"Yeah, yeah, Monarch works," She whispers to herself.
A tall young woman with long dark frizzy hair, a dark leather jacket, boots, and dark knee-length skirt stands up from the crowd of huddled people. She walks over to Monarch without an ounce of fear and stands in front of her for a moment. Monarch stares back, two winged spider-like bugs on sitting on either shoulder.
Then the young woman smacks Monarch on the side of the head in a movement so fast, Tattletale hadn't even realized anything had happened until she heard Monarch curse.
"Owe!" She said, dropping the stage voice.
"Yep, that's you alright," The woman nodded, satisfied by her findings.
Monarch tries to smack her back, but the woman just steps out of her reach gracefully.
The woman smirks, looking at Monarch with a haughty expression, "Dad's gonna be so mad."
"What?" Monarch recoils, "No, Amy, please. You can't tell dad, he'll freak."
"Oh yeah," Amy crosses her arms in a self-satisfied motion, "You're gonna be so grounded."
"I can't be grounded, I've got...stuff…" Monarch said evasively.
"Well that's what you get for henching without consulting Dad," Amy shrugged.
"Wait wait wait," Monarch forestalls with a wave of her hand, "You mean that's serious?"
"Yeah," Amy replies in a bland tone.
"I thought that was a joke!"
"It's on the list, Tay. The List."
"B-b-but I'm not henching!" Monarch exclaims.
Amy pointedly looks around at the rest of the Undersiders and the bank they are trying to rob. "Kinda looks like your henching, sis."
"Nuh-uh," Monarch stands up straight, almost preening. Her creatures all chitter around her in salute, "I am being given an equal share to the rest of them. I'm part of the team."
Behind her, Tattletale could hear Regent whisper to Grue, "I thought she was getting a trial cut?"
"Don't tell her that," Grue whispered back, "I want to keep all my organs."
"Wait," Amy held up a hand, trying and failing not to smile, "You're supervillianing without consulting dad?"
"I…" Monarch paused, "That's worse, isn't it?"
"That's so much worse,"
"Fuck."
"Language."
"I hate you."
"Love you too, sis."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because I'm your sister. This is what sisters do."
"They embarrass their siblings in front of their friends?"
"Yep!"
Grue cleared his throat,
"Ma'am," He began in a deeper voice than normal, stepping up towards Monarch's sister, "Unless you want someone to get hurt, I'm going to have to ask you to-"
"Brian?"
Grue paused.
Amy shoved her face up to Grue's helmet, scrutinizing him with narrowed eyes. She sniffed once.
"Brian," She whispered, "I swear to god, if I find out you roped Taylor into this, I will explain to Aisha how much you like to dress up like a fucking edgelo-"
"OH NO!" Grue said loudly, recoiling away from Amy, "I'VE LEFT MY STOVE ON!"
There was a burst of black smoke from Grue's body. He was obscured from view for everyone in the building. When the smoke disappated, he was gone, along with all of his fog he'd placed around the building. In his place, was a note laying on the ground.
Regent picked it up.
"Sorry guys," he read, "I don't get paid enough to replace my stuff at the house if it gets burned down. Or to pay my medical bills if all my bones get broken, on a completely unrelated note." Regent looked up to Tattletale with a pointed look, "Have fun without me. Tats is in charge.."
Well, fuck Tattletale thought, a frozen and strained smile on her face.
Amy turned back to Matriarch. "Come on Taylor, we're going home."
"No," Monarch shook her head, "I promised I'd help them out."
"Well too bad," Amy shrugged, "I'm not letting my baby sister get dragged down with a bunch of two-bit gangsters."
"It's my decision to make," Monarch said adamantly, holding her arms up in a loose fighter's stance, "You can't stop me."
"You think Dad would be happy about that?"
Monarch faltered.
I've got to turn this around somehow, Tattletale thought, Fortunately, I've got an idea
"Monarch," Tattletale said, sliding up beside the armored girl, "This is your big sister, right?"
Monarch glanced at Tattletale uncertainty, but affirmed cautiously, "...Yeah?"
"Hasn't she been bearing down on you all your life?" Tattletale said, almost whispering it into her ear. "She's always been there, trying to direct you, tell you what's best, just making you an extension of her life, right?"
"Yeah," Monarch nodded more quickly this time, slowly coming around to Tattletale's implications.
"Don't you want to stand up for yourself? Show her who's boss?" Tattletale said, "Get her back for all the times she's embarrassed you, lorded her age and power over you?"
"Yeah." Monarch nodded enthusiastically this time.
Amy's head twisted slowly the side. Her dark glare began to bore into the side of Tattletale's head. She ignored it.
"Why don't you show her this time? Stand up for yourself, Monarch. Make her respect your drive." Tattletale finished with a pat on the girl's shoulder.
"Yeah!" Monarch cheered, all of her bugs chattering loudly with.
Amy's voice cut through it all like an ice cold blade through the water.
"Did you just turn my sister against me?"
"Maybe?" Tattletale shrugged with a vulpine grin. Monarch was a powerhouse for the team. If anyone could hold off Amy and let them escape, it'd be Monarch, especially since they were sisters.
Amy won't dare hurt her precious little sister, and while Taylor won't go all out either, she'll do everything she can to slow her older sister down. Bonus, even if Taylor has to stay behind to stop Amy, it's not like Amy would let anything bad happen to her sister. Tattletale felt quite good about how flawless the plan she'd whipped up on the spot was.
Amy looked at Tattletale with dead eyes. "When I'm done here, I'm gonna-"
She was cut off when Monarch let out a battlecry and tackled her sister to the ground, her army of insectoid creatures joining in on the dogpile.
Tattletale laughed at the misfortune of their would-be obstacle. Monarch might be mad at them for a little while, but she could tell that the two sisters had probably the healthiest family relationship in all the Undersiders. Not that that was saying much.
"Alright, Bitch," Tattletale spun on her heel to face her bullish teammate, "Get the dogs so we can get out of here. We're not salvaging this heist."
Bitch rolled her eyes, and action clear even through her dollar-store dog mask, but whistled for her dogs.
Brutus, the largest of the three, bounded over from the other side of the bank. Even beefed up by Bitch's power like this, Tattletale could still see the big dumb slobbering dog in the way it ran over to his master with all the joy and haste it bring to bare. Tattletale was just thinking about how weirdly cute it was when a golden lance of light punched through the ceiling of the bank and speared through Brutus's head, causing it to explode in a wet pop of meat, blood, and bone, and sending the rest of his body rolling over itself in a stop.
[Superheated beam of energy flash vaporized blood in Brutus's head][Damage missed the true body of Brutus][You are covered in Brutus's blood]
Before Tattletale had time to come to terms with the fact that she was drenched in Brutus's hot blood, five more spears of light tore through the ceiling, carving out a hole through the roof.
[Beams not directed at Brutus][Attack incidental, primary purpose was access][Only one parahuman in the city is known to fire multiple beams of golden energy at once]
Oh fuck, Tattletale swallowed nervously.
As she shivered, a figure descended from the hole. She was wreathed in a intense, warm, golden, light. It emanated from her body and radiated from her eyes as the girl descended like a goddess from on high. Even wearing simple streat clothes, jeans, sneakers, and hoodie, she looked divine. The moment the radiant light touched her, Tattletale relaxed, she felt calmer. Why should she be scared? There was nothing to fear, it was only Glory Girl.
"You!" Glory Girl boomed imperiously, striking out a finger at the one who'd dared earned her ire, her eyes burning with furious golden power.
Amy, from her position of putting Monarch in a headlock, slumped. "God dammit," She cursed.
Abruptly, Glory Girl's Radiance disappeared, leaving Tattletale blinking.
What was I just thinking? She rubbed the dark spots out of her eyes.
"You ditched me!" Glory Girl, or Victoria, cried, throwing her hands in the air.
"I was just...getting some stuff." Amy shrugged, dropping sister to the ground. Monarch collapsed on the floor in her armor and groaned in misery.
"You said you were going to the bathroom."
"Yeah,"
"You're at the bank"
"The bank has a bathroom."
"The bank's also five blocks away."
"I need the exercise. We can't all have powers that lift our fatass off the scales."
Victoria rolled her eyes, "Why are you even going to a bank, anyways?"
"I needed to cash a check."
"You needed to cash a check?"
"Some of us actually work for a living."
"Wait, you're getting cash? Why don't you just use direct deposit."
"And what, trust the internet? Put my faith in a bit of plastic? With Archon around?"
"Ugh," Victoria groaned in disgust, lowering herself so she hovered only a few inches above the ground. "I'm not failing this project because you don't want to study together."
"I study just fine on my own," Amy huffed.
"It's a group project," Victoria enunciated, leaning in and gesturing with her hands to get the message across, "We have to work to-geth-er"
"And we will," Amy nodded, "the day before it's due."
"Procrastination isn't going to get us an A," Vicky said slowly, as if she was talking to a particularly stupid child.
"Works well enough for me," Amy shrugged, "And I make straight A's"
[Is a ruthless cheater and/or Thinker]
"Yeah, and it's a fucking miracle," Victoria rolled her eyes, "But unlike some people, I have to actually try to pass my AP classes."
"Not my fault you're as dumb as that other blonde over there," Amy gestured towards Tattletale.
Victoria blinked and spun around, only now noticing the collection of costumed individuals in the room. Tattletale, for her part, was only now coming to her bearings once more.
"Wha?" She said, noticing the attention on her.
Victoria spun around back to Amelia and asked, "And what was with the Wards I saw outside."
For an instant, Tattletale had a glimmer of hope. She saw a sliver of a chance to escape, dignity intact, a way to twist this back on the two, distract the girls who clearly disliked each other and make a clean getaway.
And then she saw the way a shark's grin crawled it's way onto Amelia's lips, the way her cold and sadistic eyes shone with a cunning light, and Tattletale's heart dropped.
"Bitch, ru-" Tattletale tried to shout when something flew into her mouth. The sudden sound drew Victoria's attention, and with her eyes directed away Amy seized the moment to reach down and rip the helmet off her sister's head.
[Is also a brute][Has a plan]
"Those are the Undersiders," Amy called out, pointing an accusing finger at Tattletale as she finally managed to clear her throat. "Those vile villains sought to use my sister as a hostage, they even tried to seduce her into their sinister group." Amy said as she pulled her sister into a hug. Her own smilinging cheeks pressing into Taylor's thoroughly annoyed ones.
Tattletale glanced up at Victoria, hoping she wouldn't go along with something with so many holes. Vicky spun in the air slowly, holding halfway between the Undersiders and Amelia. She gave the sister a careful look, and when Tattletale looked back down at the two of them, she saw to her surprise that Monarch was gone, and Taylor, in plain street clothes, was in her place, held in Amelia's embrace and glaring at her sister.
[Not real clothes][Matter created from Amy's flesh][Taylor is covered in her sister's skin.]
[Taylor knows this]
"I hate you." Taylor whispered in her sister's ear. "I hate you so much."
Tattletale gagged.
"They what?" Victoria said in a mixture of shock and rage. The six golden orbs floating around her began to orbit her faster and faster, each revolution causing them to grow brighter and brighter.
"You wouldn't let these villains hurt your cousin's girlfriend, would you?" Amy said innocently as she pointedly ignored her sister.
Taylor bristled, "We're not dating!"
Victoria, however, ignored the younger sibling.
"How Dare They!" She growled, twisting around to glare right at Tattletale, twin suns replacing her once ocean blue eyes.
As Tattletale looked into that golden light, she realized she should surrender. Why fight the inevitable? Victoria would show mercy, she was a hero after all. She was one of the good guys. If Tattletale surrendered, then maybe she could be a hero too? Maybe she could-
"They, the blonde one even tried to turned my sister against me. Like that would work." Amy shook her head, "What an fucking idiot."
In an instant, white hot fury shot through Tattletale's veins with such ferocity that it purged all other thoughts. Before she could even stop to think about it, she drew her gun and fired it at Amelia, the bitch who'd dared to call her an idiot.
Tattletale scarcely had time to realize the monumentally bad decision she'd made before one of Victoria's golden orbs flew in front of Amy. In an instant it expanded, extruding it's form into a flat oval the size of a door. The bullet slammed into the disk and sizzled, disintegrating into vapor from the intense heat of the hard light construct.
Victoria, no, Tattletale realized, Glory Girl, floated into her view, a thunderous scowl on her face.
"Oh fuck," Tattletale whispered.
Bitch let out a warcry, "Angelica, Judas, hurt!", while Regent lifted his scepter.
The two remaining demon dogs charged Glory Girl. She raised a hand with a stern expression and two of her orbs formed into large flat disks, while the other four rest extruded out into long, javelin-like, forms.
With a sweep of his hand, Victoria's arms slammed into each other as Judas lunged for her. Glory Girl frowned, but floated leisurely to the side, sending a disk in front of her to block Judas's attack. The supercharged dog slammed into the golden disk and scrambled against it. His armored and spiky skin began to smoke, bubble, and charr, and the dog lept back with a deep growl.
Angelica flanked Glory Girl from behind, right where her blind spot was.
[Has no blindspots][Orbs provide 360 vision]
Tattletale's eyes widened as she saw Victoria's finger twitch.
When Angelica's jaws were mere inches away from Victoria's arm, a lance of golden light speared into her skull, slamming into it with such force that it punched through her body and pinned her body to the ground. The dog whimpered in pain as the hard light javelin began to melt it's body.
Bitch roared in fury and charged Victoria and Regent made another gesture to tie Victoria's hands up. Judas came from behind with renewed vigor.
[Doesn't need hands to control orbs]
"Wait!" Tattletale cried out, but it was too late. With a single radiant sneer from Glory Girl, it was all over.
Two of Victoria's spears shifted back into orbs before shooting forward and slamming into Bitch and Regent's stomach's hard enough to lift them into the air. One of Glory Girl's disks slung around her body like sling shot and cut straight through Judas's body like a hardlight buzzsaw.
The dog's body fell to the ground into two sizzling piles of meat while Bitch and Regent lay on the ground, only able to clutch their stomachs as they groaned in pain.
Tattletale was stuck looking at her fallen comrades while Victoria slowly floated down to her. Four golden javelins hung above her head, their tips all pointed straight at Tattletale, while her disks slowly orbited around her body.
"I-I surrender," Tattletale said, holding her hands up and dropping her gun.
Glory Girl smirked, "That's the first smart thing you've done all day." she said through her Radiance.
Tattletale grimaced and bit back a retort. Instead, she looked at the two sister, and Taylor, the one she'd hoped could save them, and Amelia, the one who'd doomed them.
Amelia looked back, a smug expression that made Tattletale start to realize why maybe people said she had a punchable face. That lasted until Taylor took something out of her jacket.
"Wha-? Taylor, wait!" She shouted, chasing after her sister.
"I'm calling dad!" Taylor responded, sticking her tongue out.
"No! I'm calling dad! And you're gonna be so grounded!"
"Not when I tell him about how you're ditching your study buddy!"
"You fucking wouldn't!"
"Language!"
It was at this point that Tattletale decided she really shouldn't have gotten out of bed today.
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A/n: Yeah, this couldn't even be canon if I wanted it to be. Way to many things are different, nothing lines up, and for the most part this whole setup and execution is illogical. There are so many things here where X can't happen because Y has happened, or for C to happen B would have needed to occur, and instead we got A. \/-\_|_/-\/
/\-/_|_\-/\
\-|-/
Still, the idea amused me enough to do this.
I'm rough posting this on SV to see if there are any major errors you guys can pick up. Also because I'm lacking time to do as much editing as I would like myself. And I'm sick.
Sorry, this took so long to come out, too. I wanted this out by the weekend. So much for that.
I'll try to get the next proper chap, the PRT Interlude I promised, out soon, but we'll see what happens there. It's mostly done, just needs touching up, but sometimes that easier said than done.
Anyways, hope it turned out entertaining, at the very least.
hellgodsrus
Actual Real Game Dev!
- Location
- Behind You
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This is funny, but I can't rate it positive because it's part of the general trend of Tattletale bashing/nerfing/trolling in Worm fanfiction. It is funny and well written though!
- Location
- Texas
Part of why I wouldn't make this canon. While I'm not largely a fan if her character in general, just because she's the type of person i dislike in real life, not because shes a bad character, that doesn't mean i should let my characterization her her suffer. This, however, is for funzies. And in the name of funzies i simplified and exaggerated what i wanted to get the results I found most entertaining in the short term. In the long term and serious, way too many problems. I can't stand character bashing in any sort of long term serious peice.
But, yeah, any critiques you guys have on this would be fantastic. As much as this is for funzies, its also a bit of testing. Any input you give can help me put together a better work later.
- Location
- Hell
Same. Especially with how Amy completely ignored the unwritten rules and just unmasked two villains with Tattletale right there or how fast two of the Undersiders left.
She would unmask her so fast in retaliation Amy would have a rash on her face.
hellgodsrus
Actual Real Game Dev!
- Location
- Behind You
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Well, in general this is obviously a crack scene. And in crack the basic logic is 'if it's funny it works'. So in that regard - as I said, it's well written and fine. If you were playing this scene for drama, the obvious issue is keeping track of everyone in the scene - all the Undersiders stand around while Taylor and Amy have an argument, then sort of hurl themselves at her/Glory Girl one by one, and the hostages do nothing either. Like - a technique my co-author told me that I've found very helpful when writing scenes with five or more people is to work out what everyone's goal in that scene is, and what they'd ideally do to reach that goal. Then think about how other people's ideal paths would intersect with/block other people's . It's not always perfect but it cuts down on the sense of 'everyone's standing around not doing anything'.
Second point is a characterisation one about Tattletale - it's popular fanon that she totally loses it when people call her dumb, and while she really doesn't like it her response is normally something devastating based on character discussion rather than straight up shooting someone - she very rarely uses her gun. I think the only times we see her use it pre-Leviathan are on Glory Girl (where it's part of a 'I'm smart' setup combo to take her down) and on Night (where she's been trying to use words as weapons and Night just doesn't care). Also I get that again, crack, but her manipulation of Taylor was SUPER obvious and over the top. If you buy into the fanon theory about her steering Taylor into being a villain, she's a lot more subtle than that - and even in canon she admits she was kinda playing Taylor from the moment they met until just post Leviathan.
Third point is Brian - again, I get you were doing crack in this snip but given how you decided to trounce the rest of the Undersiders, him suddenly vamoosing seemed either like weird favoritism or something left over from an early draft where the snip cut off shortly after he vanished (which would've been a decent, pithy ending).
- Location
- Texas
Well, I'm glad it works as the crack scene it obviously is. Another way I'd explain this is that it's a vent chapter for me. It's low effort, low stress, and just a fun to write idea I've had in my head. It's a way for me to destress from the higher-maintenance chapters I've been trying to run, so it lets me just do whatever the fuck seems fun and not worry about consequences. It also lets me get the idea out of my head. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time, almost since I got the idea for Progenitor's base premise in the first place. I think the original idea might have actually had this been part of the outline as a thing that happened. Now, in this more up to date version of the story, it is literally impossible for anything like this scene to happen and make any kind of sense, so once I throw things like needing to fit in with the rest of the story and needing to make sense, then that lets me have a lot of fun with it.
This also reveals some interesting things about my Progenitor, the plans I have for it, and the way I think and write. You mention that I seem to put a kind of focus on Tattletale and Brian. Bashing Tats and pulling Brian out early. The reason for that is actually kind of interesting for me, looking back and disecting my own work. You see, as it stands, this scene can't happen in any way shape or form in the story. Now, that sounds obvious, but the reason for this might not be what you think. The Undersiders, or at least the Undersiders as you know them, can't form. This is mostly because the major reasons and events that allowed them to form have been butterfly'd away.
Bitch/Racheal? She's not in BB, got her case picked up by Sanctuary and is doing alright somewhere else. Could I have her show up in BB? Sure. Do I want to? I don't have strong feelings on the matter, to be frank. I don't have plans for her, but I also don't have anything specifically against her, either.
Alec? Possibly dead. Nothing personal for him, but in Progenitor's timeline Canada gets...a bit roughed up, at a certain point, and he's either dead, worse, or he used the opportunity to escape. I could easily have him come to BB, but I could just as easily have him not, and I don't really have plans or strong feelings for him either way.
Tattletale? I have vague flowy plans for her, something I need to hash out a bit more before I say anything definitive, but as it stands now she likely won't be playing too big a role in the story. As a result, she's pretty low-priority in my internal categorization. I mean, she's not even in BB at the moment in Progenitor, so my current internal label for her is N/A.
Brian? I've got plans for him. Many many plans for him. Brian's the only BB native on the original team, which means that even with all the butterflies, he's in BB. Which mean that while I was organizing and reorganizing everything, I knew I could use him. So he's very very relevant in my mind and he plays a very important role. That role is a positive one, so in my mind I throw him in the category "Good guy", regardless of how he actually turns out, so I subconsciously want good things to happen to him. That, combined with what I actually had planned for Brain, meant that I couldn't really internally rationalize, even in a crack format, Brain and Amy fighting like that when they know each other.
Anyways, the largest reason the Undersiders can't exist is that:
Coil isn't, nor has he ever operated in, Brockton Bay.
He exists and is still Coil, he's just not in the bay.
He exists and is still Coil, he's just not in the bay.
Anyways, when I came up with the idea it was essentially, "Hey, what if that once bank scene from Worm happened, only it was Progenitor?", and it really stuck around because a number of major characters in Progenitor appear in this scene and it's one of those stations of canon. Because it stuck around, I wanted to get it out of my head and have some fun with it, as I spoke of below. I also, as I said, wanted to vent. Part of that venting meant dealing with a trope in worm fanfics I absolutely loathe.
Now, to be honest, I don't really hate Tattletale that much. She's got her moments, but her base personality also kind of annoys me. Still, character-wise, she seems good enough. What I do hate is memetic Fandom Tattletale.
My god.
Do I hate it.
It's not just the endless smug, nor the reoccurring variability of her powers going from worse than useless to essentially omnipotent, nor is it even her somewhat grating personality, though those are all factors. What really pisses me off is how she's so god damned saturated in the worm fanfic community. She is fucking everywhere, and it pisses me off. Especially because 9/10 when she appears, in spite of everything, she's like some kind of smug yet helpless princess that the MC must save. I know you mentioned the Tats bashing, and I know it's a thing, but you have to admit that it's in the minority compared to the incomprehensibly vast sea of fics that will literally contort their narative into a fucking pretzel just to save Tats from Coil.
That's really why I dislike her.
Bonus points if they become friends.
At the heart of it all, I'm more or less indifferent about the character herself, at worst I kinda don't like her, but the sheer number of times I've had a fic throw "Tattletale is a precious princess of smug" in my face makes me loathe her presence.
Which is in part why I wrote this. It's, again, my way to vent. My way to give a little tiny "fuck you" to Tats and the Undersiders and get those thoughts, feelings, and ideas out there without worry about ruining my story by making a scene that gives me 5 minutes of satisfaction and weeks of headaches trying to make it all work and deal with all the fires I started.
But, yeah, I've got mixed feelings about Lisa/Sarah/Tats and I'm not 100% into her characterization yet, nor am I fully sure how to give her a fair chance and due diligence, so that's one of the reasons why I'm waiting to bring her out for Progenitor. Whenever I try to write a character in a fic, especially if they're going to exist for a while, I try to at least, if not make them a character I like, at least make them a character whose goals and motivations I understand and whose reasoning isn't completely contrived based on what I need to happen in the plot. Or, in other words, I don't like giving people the idiot ball or asshole ball unless I have to. I'd like to at least try to give each long term character a fair shake.
That's enough about that, onto the other stuff you talked about.
The thing you mentioned with how to handle scenes with multiple is helpful, but it still kind of gives me a problem. It's good advice, no doubt, but it's just hard to juggle too many people at one time, with all their goals and motivations, who are all in the same space trying to interact at the same time. I'm really not great at managing what all's happening if there's more than, say, five people, especially if only a few have clear roles. When I got large clusters in meetings and such, I try to simplify people. Which is to say I focus on one core aspect of their person, give them one specific role, and then if that role comes up, then I have them speak up. It's not perfect, but it's easier to manage in my head. Even then, I still usually end up with half a room of mutes. In this scene, especially, Bitch and Regent didn't really have "roles" in my head, so they didn't say much.
Anyways, thanks for the comments, I'll try to keep them in mind, especially as I work on the next chapter which is a fucking meeting. Ugh. So many people. So many mutes. So little time.
hellgodsrus
Actual Real Game Dev!
- Location
- Behind You
- Pronouns
- She/Her
TBH I agree about fanon Worm characters, and I can understand about wanting to vent about them. I'd probably handle that differently, which is why I didn't 'get' it and it came across more as the other variant of fanon characters (X or Y is incomprehensibly awful and dumb for some reason). Glad that you explained.
- Location
- Puerto Rico
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I understand where you're coming from, I feel the same way in regards to Fandom Amy, where she is the ultimate woobie, where most of her issues can be solved by "having a friend" or "taking a break".
I love your version of Amy because she's so different from the norm. If you don't like how Lisa is normally portrayed then change her like you did Amy; she had a different Tigger event, she joined The Elite or Accord before coming to BB, or maybe she joined the Wards.
I love your version of Amy because she's so different from the norm. If you don't like how Lisa is normally portrayed then change her like you did Amy; she had a different Tigger event, she joined The Elite or Accord before coming to BB, or maybe she joined the Wards.
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- Location
- France
Yeah, I get it. I mean, I generally just enjoy seeing her be happy and the fluffiness that results from it, but I feel like actually addressing all of her problems is more cathartic. Earn Your Happy Ending is my jam, but I understand that it would take time and a portion of a story's focus, and that's hard to justify in fics where she's not the main character and likely not part of its premise.