On Sunday I'm tending to a large fungus that is going to replace my rather uncomfortable bed when a couple of screaming children run past my open front door. I look up briefly before I recognize the sound as the fun sort of screaming, then frown slightly when it cuts off.
A few seconds later two boys and a girl look around the door frame, and one of the boys says, "What are you doing?"
I look up at the three children quizzically, "What do you think I'm doing?"
The girl points and says, "Those are pretty, what are they?"
I look up at the bookshelves I grew, "They're bookshelves."
"Why are they glowing?"
"Because I wanted to be able to read underneath them."
The first boy shakes his head, "I don't know what you're doing. What are you doing?"
I smile, "I'm growing a new fungus bed. It's a little bit small for me right now, but it's big enough for you to try if you wanted."
All three children stumble around the door saying, "Me first" or something like that.
Laughing I help the boy into the center of the fungus bed and they all watch as it closes up around him, leaving it looking like a frilly ball. After a couple of minutes I nudge the base a couple of times and the whole thing unfurls again, leaving the boy asleep in the center of the fungus.
As it does, the girl says, "Wow! It's just like Tinkerbell's flower from Peter Pan!"
I nod, "It is, except she was a spring fairy and I'm not."
As the boy starts to wake up again, the girl asks, "What sort of fairy are you?"
I smile, "I'm not a fairy."
The girl frowns, "Then what are you?"
"I am a greater fae, fairies are lesser fae. But I'm pretending to be human."
The girl nods seriously as I help the other boy into the center of the bed. As the bed starts to close up again, the girl asks, "What season does fungus come under?"
I smile widely, "None of them and all of them."
The girl frowns, "I don't understand."
"Have you ever seen black spots or patches in the walls and ceiling?"
The girl nods, "And sometimes it gets fuzzy, then mom gets really upset and shouts at the phone."
I nod, "That's called mildew, it's a type of fungus. Does your mom ever make bread at home?"
The girl nods again, "Sometimes. It's not as nice as the other bread."
"Maybe it will be different next time. But bread uses a type of fungus to rise. Mushrooms and toadstools are also fungus, and some of those grow in forests and fields at different times of year. Others just require the right thing to eat, some people call it rot, so that they can grow themselves."
"So are you a Fungus fairy?"
I laugh, "I'm still not a fairy. Come on, it's your turn in the bed, the other two have already run off."
As she's lying down in the middle of the bed, the girl asks, "Can I be a fairy like you?"
I want to say no, to give one of the pleasant lies my mom used to give when I was her age. Instead, the words stick in my throat. Eventually I say, "Yes, but only if your mom tells me it's ok."
The girl smiles at me as the bed finishes closing around her. I pensively watch the bed while the girl sleeps for a few minutes. I'd love to have a changling running around, but the mound just isn't ready to protect her. And it would be so easy for her to be caught in a deal. Maybe once the mound has grown enough to have a library I can get mom's books out of storage. Then she can read the old fairy tails and see how humans and fae have both come out on top time and time again.
When I wake the girl up she sits up with a smile, "That was nice, could I have one a bookshelf like yours please?"
I crouch down next to her, "Of course you can, if you run your hand along the frills it will deposit spores. Then you can damp the wall where you want the bookshelf and run your hands over the damp spot. The bookshelf will grow out of that part of the wall in a couple of days."
The girl smiles broadly and shouts, "Thank you Miss Fairy." Before running over to my bookshelf and running her hand along the underside.
A minute later she runs back into my rooms, "Um, how do I damp the wall?"
I smile broadly and clap my hands in delight, "Oh well done. You will probably find it easier to grab some toilet roll and run it under the tap, just a trickle though. Then hold it against the wall until you can see the wall change color."
"Thank you Miss Fairy."
I nod my head in acknowledgment of the debt. Not that I'll be collecting on it as she lives in my domain.
═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════
Monday morning sees me sitting in a chair in front of Principal Howell with Sandra, my black social worker, sitting next to me. On the principal's desk is a thick file that contains my Winslow transcripts and history.
After a few minutes of flicking through the file, Howell pulls out two sheets of paper before dumping the rest on the floor beside her desk. "Miss Hebert. Thank you for bearing with us while we prepared a space for you, and went over your previous transcripts. As you can see your Winslow file was on the large size. It might interest you to know that, while it was the largest single file, it wasn't the only one that large. However, it is one of only five that the State Department's emergency teachers believe is more like a work of fiction than a record of fact."
I nod as I try to work out if I'm supposed to feel relief at that or not.
Howell continues anyway, "Now, there are some basic ground rules that should be common across all the schools in the city, but apparently they're not as common as they should be. While you're on school grounds, there will be No Dealing, No Drugs, No gang colors, No Bullying. If you see any of those happening, then you should report it to a teacher or a prefect. Don't try to resolve the situation yourself unless a teacher gives you permission to. Do you understand?"
I cock my head to one side, "Does this only apply while I'm a Student?"
Howell sighs, "It shouldn't do, the world would be a much better place if it applied to everyone. But yes it only applies while you are a student at this school. Now, before we start talking about your education over the next few months, do you have any special needs or circumstances that I need to know about before it gets you or one of the other staff or students in trouble."
I wince and squirm as I try to come up with some way, any way of not saying yes. Evidently I take too long as Sandra says, "Just spit it out already, and tell us what we need to know."
In a small voice I say, "I'd rather not."
Howell makes a note on a pad before sighing, "Miss Hebert, if you're worried about anything you need to tell us. Start with telling us why you're worried. We have a lot of discretion about what gets written down."
I swallow hard, and briefly wish I had another few centuries experience with obscuring the truth, before I say, "The first thing is that I cannot lie."
Howell narrows her eyes, "That seems simplistic. What do you mean by you cannot lie."
"I mean I cannot lie, I couldn't tell you that I didn't steal something if I did as an example."
Sandra groans, "Great, I'm going to have to dig out my books on philosophy and linguistics aren't I."
I brighten, "Oh, great idea. That will make life much easier."
Howell puts her head in her hands, "Great. Well, what else is there?"
"The next two I would rather you never shared outside this room. As they could be used to force me into doing things that I not only don't want to do, but could put me at odds with the human authorities."
Howell seems to be trying to look through my eyes and into my mind. Briefly, I toy with allowing her to do just that, but the moment passes as she says, "Can you give an example?"
"I could be forced to murder everyone in the school."
"I don't appreciate threats."
I cock my head, "It wasn't a threat. You asked for an example."
Howell sucks her breath through her teeth, "I suppose I did."
Sandra puts her pen down, looks at me, and asks, "What's so bad that you would jump to massacring the school as an example?"
I look her in the eyes and allow my glamor to fall away. I can see it in her eyes as she takes in the distinct points on my ears, my flawless lavender skin, my tri-colored irises - pink, bone white, and brown, and the fact my proportions are all slightly wrong despite also being supernaturally beautiful. "I cannot break a deal that I have made, and once I agree to the rules I have to follow them."
Howell frowns, "How could that lead to murdering the entire school?"
I turn to stare at her, "Page 176 of the Standard Wards Contract, Paragraph 6, 'The Ward must follow the direct order of any member of the PRT with the rank of Assistant Deputy Director or higher to the best of their ability unless countermanded by an officer of higher rank'. I was bored after they dragged me from my old home, so I read it and all of the referenced contracts and terms and conditions. At some point I'm going to read the law too."
As I start to reapply my glamor, Sandra tears her eyes away from mine to meet the eyes of Principal Howell. Then she very deliberately tears the page out of her notebook and hands it over.
Howell nods and just drops it into the shredder by her desk before she says, "Right, then there's one clarification I need to make before I hand you the school rulebook. The rules in here are actually just guidelines that we want our students to try and live up to. The same is true for the instructions teachers give out. They are not hard and fast gospel, even if one of the rules says you should follow them like that. I couldn't tell you which one, but I know it's there because I've had to use it to discipline a few students in the past. While I am principal, there will be no agreements like the one in your file. Instead I will ask you to use your best judgment, and follow the spirit of the guidelines. That is far more important than the letter of the rules."
═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════
Remedial classes are interesting. Before I joined there were only three students in the class, Spence, Mark, and Ruth, and the teacher. We're still timetabled along with one of the other classes, but we can't participate in the work release program, and we're not tested. Instead those afternoons are devoted to one on one help from the teacher. Or, in my case, catching up to where I should be according to the Arcadia curriculum.
Spence reminds me of the changelings running around under captains hill. He can't dissembled to save his life, and he can't understand why anyone would want to. He's also really good at some subjects, and really bad at others. Mark and Ruth are both just slower than the normal student, so they're here to have more time to understand their lessons.
Fortunately for me, the teacher is also very understanding of my need to move around while studying, and doesn't blink when I occasionally sit on the wall to get a different perspective on things.
═══════ ೋღ ֍ ღೋ ═══════
At the end of the week I skip home backwards and dance through the front door into my home. As I look around the hallway I smile at the growing expanding foam, especially with the way it's turned the stairs into a narrow slide.
As I walk into the elevator, everyone falls silent and looks at me as though they're expecting me to explode. I briefly consider doing just that, before deciding that cleaning up would be too much work.
As the doors to the top floor open I bow to the residents and step backwards out of the elevator before spinning around and dancing to my rooms.
Once there, I spin around and throw myself backwards onto my expanding foam bed and scream as it has no give what-so-ever.
Standing up I look at the bed thoughtfully, "Hmm, I wonder if there's a softer variety of expanding foam I could use."
As I'm wracking my brains, the girl from down the hall says, "Hello Miss Fairy."
I turn around and bow to the girl, "And hello to you little human."
"Did the bad men take your pretty fungus away too?"
I blink a couple of times. Then I blink sideways just in case it makes what she said make more sense. "Pretty fungus?"
The girl nods, "They said it was bad for us and they took the bookshelf off my wall. They didn't believe me when I said it was a bookshelf, but they didn't see the one I hid behind my curtain though. Don't tell mom it's a secret."
Now curious, I say, "Will you show me your bookshelf?"
The girl nods again and holds out her hand. Obediently I shrink down so that we're the same size and take her hand. When she giggles, I giggle back, and then she runs off towards her rooms and I follow her. I like these sorts of games.
Alas, all too quickly the game comes to an end as she leads me around the corner to the rooms she shares with her family. As we approach the door opens for us, and she leads me through to her bedroom where I can see an expanded foam bookshelf growing out of the wall.
The girl ignores the bookshelf and runs over to the curtains that overlook a courtyard I didn't know existed. Then she pulls the curtains closed, before pulling them closed a second time. Or is she pulling them open from the other side.
It must be open from the other side as I can now see a bookshelf that wasn't there before. Though it looks a little dry and wilted.
I shake my head, expanding foam doesn't dry or wilt.
The girl points at the bookshelf and says, "See." Then she pouts, "But it's stopped glowing."
I step forward curiously, "I gave this to you?"
The girl nods, then shakes her head, "Yes, uh, no?"
"You don't sound certain."
"Um, you let me take some spores to grow my own bookshelf."
"I did? But I'm the Queen of Expanding foam, how would I have done that?"
The girl shakes her head, "No you're not, you're the Queen of Rot and Fungus. You said so yourself."
I feel confused, so I take my head off so that I can scratch it properly, "Are you sure?"
The girl nods, "You did, you can ask Peetie downstairs."
I toss my head from one hand to the other as I weigh up whether she's right or I'm right. As my head lands in the she's right hand, I say, "Do you promise that I said that?"
The girl nods, "I promised, it's naughty to lie."
I no… I place my head back on my shoulders so that I can nod as I muse, "So I was the Queen of Rot and Fungus, but now I'm the Queen of Expanded foam. Why did I change that?"
The girl pipes up, "The bad men took away the pretty fungus and replaced it with foam."
"They did did they? May I touch your bookshelf?"
I allow my glamor to drop as I return to my full height and hesitantly reach out to the shriveling bookshelf. I am so angry I could stamp my foot, preferably with the head dastardly humans that dared to defile my sanctum in my home underneath it.
As my fingers contact the bookshelf I shiver in pleasure as the truth of the girls words shiver inside me. Abruptly I turn around and I'm about to stalk off when I remember it's impolite to leave without warning.
Turning back to the girl I bow towards her and say, "You have my gratitude for alerting me to the change in my thinking. You may have one minor wish."
The girl claps her hands, in delight, "You're pretty, I want to be like you when I grow up."
I smile broadly as her ears gain a slight point and a hint of color appears around her pupil, "And done. Though being a queen is beyond the value of your wish, so you will need to earn that yourself."
As she runs into the kitchen shouting, "Mummy, Mummy, I'm going to be a fairy when I grow up!" I stalk out of the rooms and back to my own. There I scowl at the walls covered with expanded foam and before snarling as I lunge towards it and dig my fingers into the plaster.
With a feral growl I tear the plaster away from the backing slats and rip the furniture away from the floor. Once I'm done I stand in the center of my rooms and scream "I am the Queen of Rot and Fungus, no more will I allow defilers to wander my home without care."
As the weight of my words settle into my home, it shivers in pleasure as a mat of white fungus grows from the slats to cover the walls like the plaster did.
Once one of the walls is covered, I peel the mat away and lay it on the floor, before piling all of the old plaster into the center of it. Then I fold up the corners and sling it over my shoulder as I march down the rapidly clearing stairs to the ground floor.
It doesn't take me long to find the door to the disused courtyard where the stairs down would be, if we had a basement yet. As the door opens for me I pause and tap the floor experimentally. In response the building swings the door from side to side.
"You would prefer to claim the courtyard in payment than expand downwards?"
The door flickers into an archway for a second, and I nod, "Very well. This courtyard is now claimed as payment for trying to subvert my domain. Now lets us have a bonfire before you start to grow again. And do ensure that only the residents are allowed on the fourth floor would you?"
I smile as the detritus strewn paving slabs churn and tumble until all that's left is soft brown loam with the hint of grass growing through. As I carry my burden out to the center and lay it down, the mat of fungus is greedily absorbed by the home, and a circle of mushrooms grows around me.
I step over the outer ring and nod in agreement, "Yes, that's a much better idea. A gate to the faerie realm is a much better use of that payment. Let us see who will join me as I dance around the fire to open the gate."
With a clap of my hands, the plaster and expanded foam from my rooms bursts into flames as I start to sing and dance around the fire.
The fire is halfway finished when the girl from the fourth floor drags the other children her age down to dance with me. And together we open the way to faerie.