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Now You Feel Like Number None [Bleach Arrancar Quest]

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Number None Abridged, Chapter 1

The hunger was gone. But ambition remains.

Boy, that opening's going to be awkward in a few arcs.

Nemo wanders into her room, before flopping onto her bed and sighing. Life is so hard for an average teenage girl with a hole in her throat and no senpai to notice her.

"OH MY GOD NEMO! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE MY ONLY FRIEND!"

Nemo flips backwards off her bed and kicks Esmerelda in the face, screaming silently in mute terror.

"THE PAIN ONLY VALIDATES OUR FRIENDSHIP, BESTIE!"

Okay, but seriously, where the hell did she come from?

"Oh, I've been here for hours. Anyway, it's a double xp weekend, so get your ass down to the Jobs Board and grab a sidequest!"

Nemo chooses the insane tyrant over the cannibal or the rapist, and wanders over to see what he wanted. On the way, a midboss appears, probably voiced by Skeletor.

"How dare you call me a midboss? I'll have you know my full power equals that of a Captain!"

Sure it does.

Nemo approaches Barragan's throne over Findorr's vaguely Spanish fuming.

"How dare you violate my ban on having feet. I AM YOUR KING AND-"

One of his Fraccion whispers into Barragan's ear.

"Hm? Oh, very well. In my royal wisdom, I offer amnesty for this small ugly child. I also declare that cats are now illegal. BY ORDER OF THE KING!"

The whispering becomes more urgent. Barragan waves them away.

"You there. I command you to fetch me my crown."

The whispering returns. Barragan paws at his head until his fingers close on his white bone crown. He scowls.

"Well, then get me a better crown. I want Wolnir's crown! SO SAYS YOUR KING!"

Nemo sighs and gets ready to set off and rob someone for this insane tyrant. Findorr blocks her path.

"How dare you speak to his majesty in such a fashion!"

Is it really talking, though? It's more like an inner monologue that occasionally and partially translates into actual communication. Sort of like Kyon's style of speech from the Haruhi novels. It's kind of ambiguous, really. I mean, sure, later it'll be clarified that Nemo's outright signing or something, but-

"Look, you little brat. I spent years grinding Reputation to hit Master Guardian Elite. I will not have you shooting up to Platinum in a single mission, you hear me?"

Whatever, bitch, Nemo just decided on her backstory and now she hates Barragan. It's super fucking tragic and the fans will hammer it for xp like greedy little tear-farmers. She didn't even want to be in your shitty guild, retroactively.

A friendly spider appears, and Nemo opens her Fast Travel menu to hit up the quest destination.

D E J A V U
I ' V E J U S T B E E N I N T H I S P L A C E B E F O R E
H I G H E R O N T H E S T R E E T
A N D- she's here.

Nemo infiltrates Wolnir's Castle with various kung fu flips and ninja moves, humming her own theme music as she does so. Eventually she's drowned out by the noise of a Disney villain song, and uses the musical number as cover to dip herself in glazing sauce and put an apple in her mouth. The flawless disguise.

Wolnir somehow sees through the deception when she arrives on his plate, but Nemo's read the FAQ and immediately smashes his bangles, ending the bossfight early as he falls into the Abyss before snatching his crown and running off. Fucking spooky.

Also, this mission was completed with cowardly stealth followed by a big Cero to escape. Theming.

Nemo returns to Barragan battered and bruised and stinking of gravy, but proudly bears his new crown before her. He peers down from his throne.

"...I already have a crown."

Did this old fart seriously forget that he gave you a quest to-

"Well, I don't want it. Throw it away. Bury it or something. New law! All crowns not worn by me must be buried. BY ORDER OF YOUR KING!"

Nemo's not getting xp for this quest, is she?
 
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Phigment said:
Next, Cirucci is going to put up a wall around Las Noches and make the 13 Court Guard Squads pay for it.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

And she'll make Aizen loosen the restrictions on Cero usage in Las Noches. Cero related deaths aren't the time to talk about Cero restrictions.

Obviously, EVERYONE NEEDS TO LEARN GRAN REY CERO. To defend themselves from the phantom menace enemy.

*stares at the fourth wall*
 
Revlid said:
Number None Abridged, Chapter 1

The hunger was gone. But ambition remains.

Boy, that opening's going to be awkward in a few arcs.

Nemo wanders into her room, before flopping onto her bed and sighing. Life is so hard for an average teenage girl with a hole in her throat and no senpai to notice her.

"OH MY GOD NEMO! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE MY ONLY FRIEND!"

Nemo flips backwards off her bed and kicks Esmerelda in the face, screaming silently in mute terror.

"THE PAIN ONLY VALIDATES OUR FRIENDSHIP, BESTIE!"

Okay, but seriously, where the hell did she come from?

"Oh, I've been here for hours. Anyway, it's a double xp weekend, so get your ass down to the Jobs Board and grab a sidequest!"

Nemo chooses the insane tyrant over the cannibal or the rapist, and wanders over to see what he wanted. On the way, a midboss appears, probably voiced by Skeletor.

"How dare you call me a midboss? I'll have you know my full power equals that of a Captain!"

Sure it does.

Nemo approaches Barragan's throne over Findorr's vaguely Spanish fuming.

"How dare you violate my ban on having feet. I AM YOUR KING AND-"

One of his Fraccion whispers into Barragan's ear.

"Hm? Oh, very well. In my royal wisdom, I offer amnesty for this small ugly child. I also declare that cats are now illegal. BY ORDER OF THE KING!"

The whispering becomes more urgent. Barragan waves them away.

"You there. I command you to fetch me my crown."

The whispering returns. Barragan paws at his head until his fingers close on his white bone crown. He scowls.

"Well, then get me a better crown. I want Wolnir's crown! SO SAYS YOUR KING!"

Nemo sighs and gets ready to set off and rob someone for this insane tyrant. Findorr blocks her path.

"How dare you speak to his majesty in such a fashion!"

Is it really talking, though? It's more like an inner monologue that occasionally and partially translates into actual communication. Sort of like Kyon's style of speech from the Haruhi novels. It's kind of ambiguous, really. I mean, sure, later it'll be clarified that Nemo's outright signing or something, but-

"Look, you little brat. I spent years grinding Reputation to hit Master Guardian Elite. I will not have you shooting up to Platinum in a single mission, you hear me?"

Whatever, bitch, Nemo just decided on her backstory and now she hates Barragan. It's super fucking tragic and the fans will hammer it for xp like greedy little tear-farmers. She didn't even want to be in your shitty guild, retroactively.

A friendly spider appears, and Nemo opens her Fast Travel menu to hit up the quest destination.

D E J A V U
I ' V E J U S T B E E N I N T H I S P L A C E B E F O R E
H I G H E R O N T H E S T R E E T
A N D- she's here.

Nemo infiltrates Wolnir's Castle with various kung fu flips and ninja moves, humming her own theme music as she does so. Eventually she's drowned out by the noise of a Disney villain song, and uses the musical number as cover to dip herself in glazing sauce and put an apple in her mouth. The flawless disguise.

Wolnir somehow sees through the deception when she arrives on his plate, but Nemo's read the FAQ and immediately smashes his bangles, ending the bossfight early as he falls into the Abyss before snatching his crown and running off. Fucking spooky.

Also, this mission was completed with cowardly stealth followed by a big Cero to escape. Theming.

Nemo returns to Barragan battered and bruised and stinking of gravy, but proudly bears his new crown before her. He peers down from his throne.

"...I already have a crown."

Did this old fart seriously forget that he gave you a quest to-

"Well, I don't want it. Throw it away. Bury it or something. New law! All crowns not worn by me must be buried. BY ORDER OF YOUR KING!"

Nemo's not getting xp for this quest, is she?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I think I'm dying of laughter.
 
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Canon Omake: Welcome to the Jungle
  • Threadmarks
    • Welcome to the Jungle

    ——————————————

    When Grimmjow comes calling, you feel his spiritual pressure long before his shadow actually darkens the door of the Red Chamber. You're sure that's intentional. It's flamboyant and arrogant, just like the Sexta himself, but at least it's convenient. You have time to put the kettle on and make sure everything is in proper order.

    Cirucci uses the warning to make herself properly presentable. Ren, of course, hides back in the deepest corner of the treasure room.

    Everything is perfect as Grimmjow lounges his way into your home. He is apparently unable to walk like a civilized person; everything he does is so…sloppy. Casual. Like the whole world is his living room, and he is putting his feet on the furniture. You repress the vague annoyance that rises as his poor presentation; the Sexta Espada is powerful enough to do as he wishes. His fraccion are not following; he must have left them behind for this little appearance.

    "Grimmjow," Cirucci greets as you usher him in, smiling the perfect smile for welcoming a social equal but not a friend. "How lovely to see you this morning. I hadn't known to expect you, but please, join me here in the parlor. It's perfect timing; Nemo almost has the morning tea ready."

    By no coincidence whatsoever, it is barely an instant later that a discreet curl of steam from the pot shows that the water is ready. You mix in the leaves, and make a small production of setting out saucers and cups. (The third best china, appropriate for guests in informal settings. The second best is for guests on special occasions. You've only brought out the best china once, the morning after Cirucci triumphed over Yammy. It only has two place settings.) A little plate of biscuits, just so. Now the tea is ready, the steeping time precise, the temperature perfect, and you pour two small cups out for the Espada, and fade back a step.

    It's all wasted, of course. Grimmjow waits with obvious impatience. He takes one gulp of tea, makes a face, and leans back in his chair.

    "So, then," he starts gracelessly. "Some mission you had there. World of the Living. Palling around with Cifer. Seems like a good time. Wouldn't have minded getting to make that trip myself. It gets damned boring here, cooped up in Las Noches. I could use a good fight to shake things up. Shame you got pulled out before that other lady could really show what she's made of. She was fast, and she acted like she wanted to scrap."

    "Yes, well," Cirucci answered, "I had a mission, and she wasn't it. I'll grant you, though, she carried herself well. Better than the boy I was sent to assess, certainly. He had some skill, for a child, but anyone who falls over screaming for no good reason is not much use in a fight, no matter how fast he is. As soon as he finds an opponent who really wants him dead, he's going to meet his end. I don't know what Aizen's interest in him is."

    "Some crazy soul reaper secret magic crap, I'm sure. Whatever super-clever plan Aizen's been working on for so long. It would be simpler to have just killed the kid. I can't believe he made us stay hidden here for so long, then just tells you to go show off and leave witnesses alive."

    "Well, perhaps he'll task you with the next job. Lord Aizen is playing a very complicated game. But is that why you're visiting me? Everything I know about those soul reapers was in the debriefing earlier."

    "Nah. Actually, I came to see your girl there. Pull up a chair, forty-eight. Have some hot water. It's not too bad."

    Of course it's not bad, you chose it specifically yourself for the balance of flavors. You control the urge to grumble as Cirucci twitches an eyebrow, inviting you to the conference. You bring out an additional seat, and do, in fact, pour a third cup of tea, which is, of course, excellent. Grimmjow swallows the last of his cup, and wipes his mouth with his hand.

    "Now, then, whatever you could you want with dear Nemo," Cirucci says impishly. "Nemo, you didn't tell me you had a suitor. I hope it won't interfere with your duties."

    "Well, she IS wearing my things," Grimmjow smirks, pointing at your bracelet. "So I guess we could be going steady. But naw, ain't like that. As you, of all people, ought to know, Sanderwicci. Me and Nemo just had a conversation a while back, and I thought I should follow up on it a little."

    Oh. Really. You thought he'd made his point quite clearly then. What could possibly remain to be said?

    "I'm not saying I was wrong. Believe it or not, I was givin' you good advice, and it's still good advice. But it seems like I was missing a few facts on the ground, that have made it a lot clearer how things really stand. So I thought I'd take a little time out to come say so."

    "Advice, hmmm? What advice did you have for my fraccion?"

    "She can tell you herself later, if she wants. Nothing secret. Mostly, it was about her and Yammy. And now Yammy's history, which throws that whole event into a totally different light. And then, you got your own mission the other day, and we sure didn't get any details on that one, did we? But I can read between the lines a bit. You played it cool, but even if the rest of those jerks don't pay any attention, I notice when Aizen thinks he's sending some chump off to get killed, and I notice when that chump comes back a winner, looking healthy as ever, but smelling like two different people's blood. And it doesn't take somebody as clever as Aizen to see you get shit done. I respect that. So I thought I'd come do you a favor. Hey, Cirucci?"

    "Yes?"

    "I'll trade you two of my fraccion for Nemo there. Straight up. Your pick. You could use the extra muscle. It's a good deal."

    Cirucci's voice could have frozen the tea, if there was any still left. "I'll have to decline, Sexta. I've just gotten Nemo trained up to my standards; I don't have time to start over."

    Grimmjow laughed a hearty, cynical laugh, and stood up from the table. "I thought that would be your answer. Especially since you went back for her. But I wanted to hear it, anyhow. There's your present, Forty-Eight. Any time Sanderwicci gets wound up too tight, remember that. She thinks you're worth two of somebody else's fraccion. And I wasn't kidding there. You're sneaky, but you get shit done, and good for you.

    He paused at the entrance as he let himself out.

    "Of course, some of the shit you got done was getting rid of Yammy. I remember that. So, don't take this personal, but if I were to suspect you were being sneaky around me and mine, or if I thought I was on your list of things to get done, well, I'd have to do something about that, wouldn't I? So hopefully that doesn't happen. See you around, Diez, Nemo. I'm off to make myself some entertainment. Thanks for the hot water."

    You watched him stroll away silently, and finished off a biscuit. Cirucci sighed, and stood up from the table herself.

    "That man," she said slowly. "Is a complete ass."
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Phigment said:
    Welcome to the Jungle

    ——————————————

    When Grimmjow comes calling, you feel his spiritual pressure long before his shadow actually darkens the door of the Red Chamber. You're sure that's intentional. It's flamboyant and arrogant, just like the Sexta himself, but at least it's convenient. You have time to put the kettle on and make sure everything is in proper order.

    Cirucci uses the warning to make herself properly presentable. Ren, of course, hides back in the deepest corner of the treasure room.

    Everything is perfect as Grimmjow lounges his way into your home. He is apparently unable to walk like a civilized person; everything he does is so…sloppy. Casual. Like the whole world is his living room, and he is putting his feet on the furniture. You repress the vague annoyance that rises as his poor presentation; the Sexta Espada is powerful enough to do as he wishes. His fraccion are not following; he must have left them behind for this little appearance.

    "Grimmjow," Cirucci greets as you usher him in, smiling the perfect smile for welcoming a social equal but not a friend. "How lovely to see you this morning. I hadn't known to expect you, but please, join me here in the parlor. It's perfect timing; Nemo almost has the morning tea ready."

    By no coincidence whatsoever, it is barely an instant later that a discreet curl of steam from the pot shows that the water is ready. You mix in the leaves, and make a small production of setting out saucers and cups. (The third best china, appropriate for guests in informal settings. The second best is for guests on special occasions. You've only brought out the best china once, the morning after Cirucci triumphed over Yammy. It only has two place settings.) A little plate of biscuits, just so. Now the tea is ready, the steeping time precise, the temperature perfect, and you pour two small cups out for the Espada, and fade back a step.

    It's all wasted, of course. Grimmjow waits with obvious impatience. He takes one gulp of tea, makes a face, and leans back in his chair.

    "So, then," he starts gracelessly. "Some mission you had there. World of the Living. Palling around with Cifer. Seems like a good time. Wouldn't have minded getting to make that trip myself. It gets damned boring here, cooped up in Las Noches. I could use a good fight to shake things up. Shame you got pulled out before that other lady could really show what she's made of. She was fast, and she acted like she wanted to scrap."

    "Yes, well," Cirucci answered, "I had a mission, and she wasn't it. I'll grant you, though, she carried herself well. Better than the boy I was sent to assess, certainly. He had some skill, for a child, but anyone who falls over screaming for no good reason is not much use in a fight, no matter how fast he is. As soon as he finds an opponent who really wants him dead, he's going to meet his end. I don't know what Aizen's interest in him is."

    "Some crazy soul reaper secret magic crap, I'm sure. Whatever super-clever plan Aizen's been working on for so long. It would be simpler to have just killed the kid. I can't believe he made us stay hidden here for so long, then just tells you to go show off and leave witnesses alive."

    "Well, perhaps he'll task you with the next job. Lord Aizen is playing a very complicated game. But is that why you're visiting me? Everything I know about those soul reapers was in the debriefing earlier."

    "Nah. Actually, I came to see your girl there. Pull up a chair, forty-eight. Have some hot water. It's not too bad."

    Of course it's not bad, you chose it specifically yourself for the balance of flavors. You control the urge to grumble as Cirucci twitches an eyebrow, inviting you to the conference. You bring out an additional seat, and do, in fact, pour a third cup of tea, which is, of course, excellent. Grimmjow swallows the last of his cup, and wipes his mouth with his hand.

    "Now, then, whatever you could you want with dear Nemo," Cirucci says impishly. "Nemo, you didn't tell me you had a suitor. I hope it won't interfere with your duties."

    "Well, she IS wearing my things," Grimmjow smirks, pointing at your bracelet. "So I guess we could be going steady. But naw, ain't like that. As you, of all people, ought to know, Sanderwicci. Me and Nemo just had a conversation a while back, and I thought I should follow up on it a little."

    Oh. Really. You thought he'd made his point quite clearly then. What could possibly remain to be said?

    "I'm not saying I was wrong. Believe it or not, I was givin' you good advice, and it's still good advice. But it seems like I was missing a few facts on the ground, that have made it a lot clearer how things really stand. So I thought I'd take a little time out to come say so."

    "Advice, hmmm? What advice did you have for my fraccion?"

    "She can tell you herself later, if she wants. Nothing secret. Mostly, it was about her and Yammy. And now Yammy's history, which throws that whole event into a totally different light. And then, you got your own mission the other day, and we sure didn't get any details on that one, did we? But I can read between the lines a bit. You played it cool, but even if the rest of those jerks don't pay any attention, I notice when Aizen thinks he's sending some chump off to get killed, and I notice when that chump comes back a winner, looking healthy as ever, but smelling like two different people's blood. And it doesn't take somebody as clever as Aizen to see you get shit done. I respect that. So I thought I'd come do you a favor. Hey, Cirucci?"

    "Yes?"

    "I'll trade you two of my fraccion for Nemo there. Straight up. Your pick. You could use the extra muscle. It's a good deal."

    Cirucci's voice could have frozen the tea, if there was any still left. "I'll have to decline, Sexta. I've just gotten Nemo trained up to my standards; I don't have time to start over."

    Grimmjow laughed a hearty, cynical laugh, and stood up from the table. "I thought that would be your answer. Especially since you went back for her. But I wanted to hear it, anyhow. There's your present, Forty-Eight. Any time Sanderwicci gets wound up too tight, remember that. She thinks you're worth two of somebody else's fraccion. And I wasn't kidding there. You're sneaky, but you get shit done, and good for you.

    He paused at the entrance as he let himself out.

    "Of course, some of the shit you got done was getting rid of Yammy. I remember that. So, don't take this personal, but if I were to suspect you were being sneaky around me and mine, or if I thought I was on your list of things to get done, well, I'd have to do something about that, wouldn't I? So hopefully that doesn't happen. See you around, Diez, Nemo. I'm off to make myself some entertainment. Thanks for the hot water."

    You watched him stroll away silently, and finished off a biscuit. Cirucci sighed, and stood up from the table herself.

    "That man," she said slowly. "Is a complete ass."
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    That was really really good and totally seems like something Grimmjow would do, a congratulations, a 'present' and a warning in case Cirucci tries to do something sneaky all at once.

    Honestly i hope we end up going with Grimmjows outing if only as a guide, i feel bad that all his friends are going to end up dieing otherwise.
     
    I mean one of the basic and scary realities is that all these powerful Espada and Fraccion that we look up to, fear, distrust, like, or whatever, are basically just filler fodder for the Soul Reapers and die like flies. Like 3 per fight on average.
     
    So morbid thoughts of our nominal allies impending demise aside anyone slightly worried we may become a person of interest to Urahara?

    Not only did we stealth into his home avoiding Tessai, the kids and the traps along with finding his secret room and getting through his ultra secure lock we also helped Ururu (after accidentally traumatizing her) and our energy attacks look very very different from normal.

    Honestly with the way Urahara is he'd probably have his interest peaked from the screaming face ceros/balas and trauma beam alone but combined with the rest i am slightly worried that the next time we visit Karakura on official business Urahara's going to show up in a labcoat.
     
    I mean, I thought all cero and bala were unique in colouration? Part of being an arrancar means that each is basically unique, regardless of overlaps.
     
    RoninSword said:
    I mean, I thought all cero and bala were unique in colouration? Part of being an arrancar means that each is basically unique, regardless of overlaps.
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    While true the uniqueness comes from the color, density and feel of the reiatsu/reishi rather than anything else.

    Ulquiorra and Starks cero's for example may be different colors, move at different speeds and originate from different places but at the end of the day they are giant lasers of varying sizes that absolutely wreck anything they hit and generally make the same sound (except when stark is rapid firing them).

    Whereas Nemo's attacks contain screams, wails and mad laughter and have actual faces and shifting shapes visible on them, visually Nemo's attacks are some of the most unique among all arrancar even if she's nowhere near the strongest.

    Edit: Honestly with the description of that last bala Horrormoth!Nemo used in the Findor fight i'd assume the sounds are things from the souls she consumed before she became an Arrancar with a few mixed in from her worst moments like the grief from losing mantis.
     
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    Vilegrave said:
    Ulquiorra and Starks cero's for example may be different colors, move at different speeds and originate from different places but at the end of the day they are giant lasers of varying sizes that absolutely wreck anything they hit and generally make the same sound (except when stark is rapid firing them)
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Starrk's Cero is also a doggo that actively hunts down the enemy, bites them and explodes. That's... kind of unique?
     
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