Burned_Cookie
Very tired girl.
- Location
- Plato´s cave.
- Pronouns
- She/Her/It/Its
Hmmm happy to see this update, even if the cliffhanger is a bit mean.
I can't help but to wonder if you should tell them that you plan to betray. Like, get it out of the way early.
Oh hey, I love this story! Even if so the speculation on intricate details of the plot of VLR are lost on me, Flover (?) had a wonderful headspace.
Re: the authors note: you think that's a coincidence? I was watching Star Trek: Deep Space 9 at the start of the pandemic and ran into an episode with early 2020's Earth having a virus, which lead to the subtly authoritarian US government corralling the poor (black) people into ghettos, leading to them rioting, leading to a violent government crackdown, and the solution was breaking past the government censorship with the (prompted) support of big tech showing the public what's going on. Freaked me out.
No, not the child! Anyone but him!
Good setup chapter. Glad to see this back; wasn't expecting it.
Ah right, Quark is usually the first to fall victim to Radical-6's effects. Which is both good and bad for us, since it means he defaults to picking Ally in the AB game, making it safe for us to pick Ally as well, but it also means that Tenmyouji will be on edge from now on, since Quark is in danger.
You sure this is Radical-6? The way the game's going, I'd expect it to be Lagomorph giving him a shot of whatever through his bracelet, just to screw with our Least Time-Travel-Capable SHIFTer.
You should believe in the you that believes in you!
But not the you that keeps subjecting you to these horrible fates.
That you is a jerk.
I've been thinking about the anatomy of a compelling self-insert story, and looking at the ones I've enjoyed most, the best traits tend to be (assuming metaknowledge):
- Limited agency. Specifically, a very significant power to mess things up, but not to fix things.
- Early and consistent interaction with other characters. This is required for development, conflict, and tension, leading into the next one:
- Maintaining both short-term and long-term tension. The two need to be intertwined to keep the reader's interest. This works best when the long-term goal is clear from near the beginning of the story, although a serialized work can drag out the over-arcing plot in such a way that allows for higher short-term tension. (Subsumption is a good example of the latter.)
For all the above reasons, VLR is actually the perfect environment for a self-insert in such a way that metaknowledge won't destroy the tension. The limited scale of the immediate setting helps as well--a lot of popular settings for SIs are just too big to force a meta-aware character to act.
And by that, I mean that this story has given me ideas.
To follow up on Crusader Jerome's point though - this story, and Flairina's other SIs for that matter, have no such issues. Feed us more chapters!
So I've been re-reading this, and something occurred to me.
What if Sigma isn't actually Zero Sr here like he is in the game? In fact, it's entirely possible that CLOVER is Zero.
Let me explain:
First of all, the events of VLR obviously won't happen here, since Flairina!Clover is throwing butterfly's everywhere. However inspite of this the exact same initial conditions were established. If Sigma is zero then this is strange. The Nonary Games were set up for a very specific sequence of events, and while technically things could be the same up to this point with differences coming later by coincidence, it's more likely that whoever set this up did so already knowing about Flairina!Clover's meta knowledge. Flair has already speculated this themselves in fact.
So who does this apply to? Akane probably knows because Flair is planning on telling her and timetravel is a thing that exists still. However I think that Flair could have done it herself, possibly after being instructed to by Akane just like Sigma was.
Flair would know how to set things up to look right since she's played the original game and knows what things look like when butterfly effect isn't coming into play, and thanks to ZTD they even know that physical time travel exists and a possible location to find it. In fact, there's probably a time machine in the facility as implied by the secret ending through what Alice and Clover said. So Flair could use that physical time machine to get back in time to develop the Nonary Game while OG!Clover is still in cold sleep.
What all this means is that despite Flair having meta knowledge, the answers to the twists may be different compared to the games as a result of her presence.
QED Flairina!Clover is Zero
On the one hand, yay a cure! But on the other hand, if you're not threatened with death you might not be able to psi your way out.
It happened in the original VLR after all, as well as the initial timeline I went through, even if it didn't happen in the last one for whatever reason...
I think that he also still sees his younger self, so you are not the only one. More to the point, he is probably acting as such, either because he doesn't know otherwise, or doesn't want anyone else to know that he knows that he is old.Wow another post so soon! Love this story! Also I know that sigma is old but in my mind I'm seeing his younger self still. Is that weird?
Sigma doesn't realise he's in his older self's body atm, believing himself to be the 20 something young man from the first game, iirc. Dude somehow avoids reflective surfaces or otherwise remains oblivious until events force him otherwise - one example being his arm getting crushed, only to learn it was robotic, during a bad end.I think that he also still sees his younger self, so you are not the only one. More to the point, he is probably acting as such, either because he doesn't know otherwise, or doesn't want anyone else to know that he knows that he is old.
Sigma doesn't realise he's in his older self's body atm, believing himself to be the 20 something young man from the first game, iirc. Dude somehow avoids reflective surfaces or otherwise remains oblivious until events force him otherwise - one example being his arm getting crushed, only to learn it was robotic, during a bad end.
Seriously, I notice something like a single red spit appearing on my forearm, not instantly but I do, so how do you miss having the hands of an old person?Old Sigma must be really relieved that his younger self has the observation skills of a brick outside of escape rooms, because otherwise it would have been a hell of a lot harder to hide that.
Seriously, I notice something like a single red spit appearing on my forearm, not instantly but I do, so how do you miss having the hands of an old person?
I think that might've been the case at least at some point. Honestly, the twist might be hilariously overcomplicated but if I remember my romp with the game properly, they had an excuse for every chance of Sigma finding out on his own.I'm more surprised at the eye and face - did he never once touch it? I mean, I don't have wrinkles, but I think I'd notice if I suddenly had a ton. And a literal bionic eye that makes no attempt to be subtle should be pretty obvious to the touch. Unless the robot hands are advanced enough to fake facial textures on specifically his face.
Ah oh boy, is that a blind reader I spy? Usually I'm all up for blind reading and this story does a solid job of explaining things in a somewhat accesibly sensible manner too, but I'd recommend reading (very handy run in the LParchive webpage) or watching this game instead of trying to piece things out. It's kind a meta mess. A wonderful meta mess, but a mess for sure- and we aren't even getting the original protagonist's perspective here!I think that he also still sees his younger self, so you are not the only one. More to the point, he is probably acting as such, either because he doesn't know otherwise, or doesn't want anyone else to know that he knows that he is old.
Ha! Foolish Fool!Ah oh boy, is that a blind reader I spy? Usually I'm all up for blind reading and this story does a solid job of explaining things in a somewhat accesibly sensible manner too, but I'd recommend reading (very handy run in the LParchive webpage) or watching this game instead of trying to piece things out. It's kind a meta mess. A wonderful meta mess, but a mess for sure- and we aren't even getting the original protagonist's perspective here!
Glad to see this updated, honestly never played the game but it sounds like a complicated series of events to keep track of and introduce changes to. Making things derail in a believable way requires an understanding of the story that rivals its original creater, but when it's done well it can be a real treat.
Well Sigma sure burned Zero. Would be a shame if they were the same person 🙄
On the one hand, yay a cure! But on the other hand, if you're not threatened with death you might not be able to psi your way out.
Wasn't there something like this in the game, too? As I recall, Alice's R6 infection progression depended entirely on whether you allied or betrayed her in the first round, unless you didn't go through your first door with her at all, in which case her infection level was automatically 'high'.
Also I know that sigma is old but in my mind I'm seeing his younger self still. Is that weird?
I think that he also still sees his younger self, so you are not the only one. More to the point, he is probably acting as such, either because he doesn't know otherwise, or doesn't want anyone else to know that he knows that he is old.
Sigma doesn't realise he's in his older self's body atm, believing himself to be the 20 something young man from the first game, iirc. Dude somehow avoids reflective surfaces or otherwise remains oblivious until events force him otherwise - one example being his arm getting crushed, only to learn it was robotic, during a bad end.
Old Sigma must be really relieved that his younger self has the observation skills of a brick outside of escape rooms, because otherwise it would have been a hell of a lot harder to hide that.
Seriously, I notice something like a single red spit appearing on my forearm, not instantly but I do, so how do you miss having the hands of an old person?
He's got robot hands, that's how. I believe they look like they did before all the Nonary Game stuff happened. Old Sigma is very fortunate in that Young Sigma never went toilet once in the games, else...
I'm more surprised at the eye and face - did he never once touch it? I mean, I don't have wrinkles, but I think I'd notice if I suddenly had a ton. And a literal bionic eye that makes no attempt to be subtle should be pretty obvious to the touch. Unless the robot hands are advanced enough to fake facial textures on specifically his face.
I think that might've been the case at least at some point. Honestly, the twist might be hilariously overcomplicated but if I remember my romp with the game properly, they had an excuse for every chance of Sigma finding out on his own.
Ah oh boy, is that a blind reader I spy? Usually I'm all up for blind reading and this story does a solid job of explaining things in a somewhat accesibly sensible manner too, but I'd recommend reading (very handy run in the LParchive webpage) or watching this game instead of trying to piece things out. It's kind a meta mess. A wonderful meta mess, but a mess for sure- and we aren't even getting the original protagonist's perspective here!
Personally, I only played 999 and that was years ago, when it first came out, so I only remember the broadest of elements, so I'm in the fun element where some things are vagelly recognisable, but not enought for me to know what the hell is going on. Funnilly enought, I feel this makes the story more fun, not less, as anything new we discover (not in the quest sense, in the we're learning with Clover sense) is both surprising and vaguelly familiar.
And while I'm planning to come back and play the entire series in the future (including replaying the first game to refresh my memory of it). I'ts far enought in the backlog, any spoiler I get from this story will probably be really vague when I get to it. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying what I'm seeing and hoping for some of the crazy twists this series is known for in the future of this story.
The game really doesn't sound like my sort of thing. That this story is so great is one of the leading reasons that I somewhat doubt that Flarina will ever write something that I don't like. This and the Cat and Ladybird thing. I recall just having no appetite for that show at all, just, totally tiresome, but Flairina touches it and suddenly it is good *shrugs*.
If you need to play through again for a refresher, they're $20 for all three on Steam atm iirc.Hopefully my understanding of the Zero Escape series is up to the task
I... think at least one classic mystery novel violates that rule? A McCarthy book iirc. Otherwise it tends to be that the PoV character is not the culprit, ya.Nah, that's impossible. Rule one of mystery stories: the protagonist cannot also be the culprit.
Is this still updating? I'm assuming it's still updating.
...I hope it's still updating as I(would be kinda embarrassed about doing this...)had known of the existence of this fic for a while. But I put off reading it for various reasons...until now!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW I SHOULD'VE WAITED SO THAT I HAVE MORE TO READ THROUGH.
=
But lucky for you! I'm in my more in-depth review mood. So buckle up! -puts review glasses on- Because I'mma be gushin' 'bout the fic.
So, first immediate thing I'd like to say, YES a Zero Escape fanfiction, more specifically Virtue's Last Reward. When I saw the title of thread, I couldn't believe it. I LOVE the trilogy so much. It's by far my favorite visual novel series. Yeah there's plenty of flaws and such but gosh dang it did I love the story, the puzzles and the characters and it was a blast. So I'm happy to see fics about this relatively obscure series outside of visual novel and/or RPG (i found out bout 999 through an rpg focused fansite that featured it so that's why i'm counting it okay?! ) circles, and especially happy if it's something I like.
And boy do I like it.
The beginning is already feeling like I'm reading Zero Escape all over again, as in the way the prose goes and the thoughts narrated feel right at home with the franchise, with how NoLeaf!you going nuts about the possibilities and so on about the implications of being here...and already getting the typical headaches one gets from thinking about time-space problems. XD You know, the usual "wait am i messing up the timeline being here but wait if i am here doesn't that mean that i'm not messing it up but wait what if it's something else i'm messing up but i don't know yet aaahrrrrhggggh" kind of thoughts. I don't know, maybe because I would like to think I would have those kinds of thought if I was ever put in a similar situation, or maybe I just like freaking out and frantic thoughts in fiction in general, but I liked that.
Either way, yes, No-Leaf!you ending up in this world is very unfortunate considering how hard anyone has to work for to reach even the semblance of a happy ending. So that's certainly not helping with the usual problems of dealing with being in another person's body and time-space shenanigans. And we got plenty of tiny mysteries on our way.
Staring off with those secret files. Maybe in the end it's not important, but it's one of those things that, as you pointed out, is put off to the back of the mind, partially because of it being part of the interface. So I think it was nice to include it. I don't know. I'm a sucker for trying the best as possible to include gameplay only stuff and incoporate it in a way that makes sense in universe.
Then we got how much does Zero. Jr knows about you but I'm more on the side of "yes he does and it's most likely a lot". Why. Because when Zero Jr. said "Poor reader" during one of the chapters, my first thought was that was an obvious hint about, well, him knowing about your circumstance since, you know, another way to refer a "player", especially one doing a visual novel, is "reader". Now, while No-Leaf!Clover assumed he meant the extra files, which it could very well be, I still think that pretty much confirmed him knowing for me...so yeah.
And then we got other mysteries that you later point out. Including but not limited to: Alice's seeming phobia about either forced sleep or needles or drugs (which I currently speculate is related to, oh I don't know, maybe being under cold ice for a long while?), Tenmyouji seeming to be obssessed with Alice/All-ice (which I currently speculate might be because of Akane somehow), Sigma's seemingly coincidentally having his choice out of his hands and...how you got here...and Zero's identity. Which, well, you already "answered" that and No-Leaf!you also dismissed it, so I too will do the same since all we got is speculation, same with Phi's hostilities. But with how in both VLR and ZTD my first thought was "How are they gonna make it so that the POV is Zero and it makes sense this time?", well...whether that becomes true or not depends if you wanna keep that tradition going, or break it. So yeah.
Then we get the collision of the usual time stuff and general tone of Zero Escape as, of course, with so many factors in play, including likely many ofd screen stuff, plenty of things go wrong. Starting with Aken being dead. And ouch was that a "wham" for me, me literally imagining a shoe dropping in surprise, and also realizing the problems now that she's dead. Then Sigma's age reveal to himself, which my immediate thought was "uh hey clover? might wanna stop dio before--okay too late"...followed by Dio killing you and OH BOY I was going "no no no no no no no no" the whole time. Yeah, I knew it was likely that this would trigger a SHIFT, but gosh dang it did I want to punch Dio. And the most "recent fail", blown up after Phi has Sigma ditch you and co. before SHIFTing herself. And then you blowing up and dropping bombs. Figuratively of course. Which, yiiiiiikes. I mean understandable, but yiikes. And all of these have consequences, whether more immediate or not.
So yeah. Not stacked in your favor.
But it's not all doom and gloom. Tenmyouji showing hints of his old self from 999 during the "first run" was heartwarming. Luna being, well, Luna and nice to you when you were "infected". Sigma being goofy was hilarious, especially that "stand uo routine"...since, yknow, he does end up being a doctor. XD Tho yeah it wasn't a good time to do so but still! And of course Alice being a loyal friend to Clover...not let's hope she can be your friend too, someday. Oh and Quark being Quark and adorable.
Speaking of the infection though...when you were questioning about where in world was the cure I was like "wait you don't remember it being in the lab?" so I basically went "FINALLY" when you go to it and found the cure.
Also I will say, no, I don't mind at all at you railing into Sigma about his more pervy jokes. I was of the similar opinion of "Sigma. Dude. I like you. So please STOP, YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK BAD", which is an opinion I hold even more tightly after ZTD and my subsequent shipping of Sigma/Diana (which was inevitable as i was kinda shipping sigma/luna during vlr but not a whole lot cuz of...i forget, but i think it's mostly the fact that she's a robot he created). So yeah, again, totally don't mind. Please feel free to correct him so that he doesn't do that when he sees Diana.
Ahem. More seriously though, I like to think he'd at least solve things pretty well. I mean he managed to become a professor-doctor-what-have-you. And I think he has a balance of being humorous and serious and you're doing that well enough. Or, well, you could take that lab scene as a joke/poking fun at how, despite being in a tense situation, ridiculous dialogue and hilarious observations occur during it.
But yeah, again, I hope this is still updating, hope you don't mind this long review outta nowhere and hope you're doing well. I look forward to more.
So, first immediate thing I'd like to say, YES a Zero Escape fanfiction, more specifically Virtue's Last Reward. When I saw the title of thread, I couldn't believe it. I LOVE the trilogy so much. It's by far my favorite visual novel series. Yeah there's plenty of flaws and such but gosh dang it did I love the story, the puzzles and the characters and it was a blast. So I'm happy to see fics about this relatively obscure series outside of visual novel and/or RPG (i found out bout 999 through an rpg focused fansite that featured it so that's why i'm counting it okay?! ) circles, and especially happy if it's something I like.