Chapter 8: Batting Five Hundred
Flairina
Least Omnipotent Goddess
- Location
- The next infinity over
When my eyes open again, I find myself staring up at a low ceiling, lying on something flat. As the fog of sleep lifts from my mind, I slowly pan my eyes down, hoping against hope...
…nope, still Clover.
I quickly sit up and look around, unsure of exactly where I am. I appear to be in a bed — one of three, all of them sheetless, lined up beside each other in a neat little row. To my right is a sink with a dirty mirror hanging above it, while the rest of the room is hidden by a dark blue room divider… I'm in the infirmary?
Footsteps from the other side of the room draw my attention. A second later, Luna rounds the divider, and spots me sitting up.
"Oh, you're awake!" Luna says with undisguised relief. "Wait right here, I'm going to go get the others."
Before I can ask or even say anything, she's already left. Questions dying in my throat, I let myself slowly lean back against the wall, trying to process everything.
I made it. I can SHIFT. In fact, not only can I SHIFT, but my memory apparently stays with me in its entirety, unlike Sigma and Phi's until the very end of the game. That's incredibly useful. Not having to rely on "flashes of insight" should give me a huge advantage in making it to the correct timeline…
I draw my knees up to chest, quivering.
…if only I hadn't had to die for it to work. That was the single most terrifying experience of my life — though, I guess that's only natural, seeing as how it literally killed me. I can almost still feel the paring knife pressed up against my throat, and Dio's weight bearing down upon my back… even though I took precautions, they didn't make any difference in the end. I shouldn't have isolated myself; I should have known.
I squeeze my legs tightly, wishing that the sensation comforted me more. The fact that I had such a huge advantage information-wise and yet still ended up dead by Dio's hand is honestly an extremely depressing thought. Worse, I only managed to go back as far as the second set of doors: Akane is still dead, and I still need to make it to a timeline where she's not. But it seems like in order to do that, I'm probably going to have to...
I shut my eyes, squeezing back the oncoming tears before they can fall this time. No. I'll figure out how to SHIFT without dying; I will. I know it's not an absolutely necessary step of the process, and now that I've done it once, surely-
My mental self-reassurances are interrupted as the door slides up, and an entire throng of people rush into the room. Alice, heading the pack, is the first to spot me.
"Clover!"
Alice runs to the side of my bed, and I stand up just in time for her to envelop me in a tight, obviously relieved hug. Even with her strange chest ring pressing into parts of my anatomy that I'm still not exactly used to, I can't help but feel comforted, particularly given the state I last saw her in. I find myself hugging back almost immediately, smiling despite myself.
"Alice..."
I look over her shoulder at the watching crowd, which thankfully seems largely content to let us have our moment. After a little while, Alice breaks our embrace, which the others take as their cue to speak up.
"Welcome back." Sigma starts.
"Grandpa was worried about you." Quark says, smiling. "We're glad to see you're okay Miss Clover!"
"Indeed." K adds. "I believe we can all agree that it is good to see you are alright now."
"Yeah… had us pretty nervous for a bit there."
The last voice sends ice racing up my spine, and I flinch backwards as Dio steps past Phi and Sigma to the front of the group, trying to force myself not to panic. Have to stay calm… don't want to pass out again…
I quickly wrench my eyes away, trying not to focus on the man who murdered me. He wouldn't try anything while everyone else is around, right? Then again, I'd thought he wouldn't attack me without his knife, but that just made him go find a different one-
"Clover?" Sigma says. "You're still with us, right?"
I shake my head to try and clear it. I need to focus on the here and now.
"Y-yeah." I stutter out. "Hey, everyone… what did I miss?"
"After you passed out, I did my best to regulate your breathing." Luna explains. "Your respiration stabilized before too long, but you didn't wake up, so I carried you to the next room."
"Miss Luna said we should still check you in the infirmary, so we solved all the puzzles as quick as we could, and got you back here as fast as possible!" Quark adds.
Looks like I was out long enough to miss the escape room entirely… I'm not sure if that's a problem or not, but right now I'm leaning on the side of not.
"Thanks. Both of you." I say. "Sorry to have caused so much trouble."
"Our team escaped and made it back here not long after." K adds. "Sigma's team showed up about ten minutes later."
"I'm just happy you're awake." Alice says. "You really scared me back there…"
"Well, let's not celebrate just yet." Tenmyouji interrupts. "I'm glad Clover's awake and all too, but we can't just forget what we found out."
The mood of the room abruptly darkens. I look from face to face, trying to figure out what's wrong, but can't discern anything from them.
"What's wrong? Someone mind cluing me in?" I ask, when no one speaks up after several seconds.
Alice bites her lip and turns to look me straight in the eye.
"I'm sorry Clover, but… you're infected with Radical-6."
…
I sit back down on the bed and lower my head into my hands, unable to stop myself from letting loose a small giggle at Alice's solemn pronouncement.
"Clover, that wasn't a joke." Sigma says seriously.
I know it's not, but the irony of this situation is too staggering for me not to laugh at it.
"So, you used the ADAM on me while I was out then?" I ask, raising my head again.
Alice nods, her expression still grim. "As soon as we escaped and made it back here. Luna wasn't sure why you started hyperventilating, so she scanned you, and… the machine diagnosed you as positive for the virus."
Not exactly surprising, seeing as how literally everyone here except Luna would show positive for said virus. Though, come to think of it…
I lean over and count the number of heads. Everyone still seems to be up and about, Quark and Alice included… I guess no one's actually been hit by the Radical-6 yet, somehow? That's strange. And makes me the only one who's suspected of being sick, apparently.
"Don't worry," Alice says reassuringly, "I promise, we'll find a way to cure it."
"…you can say that, but I don't really see how." Tenmyouji says dolefully, looking away.
"Yeah, have you forgotten where we are?" Dio asks, raising a finger and tilting his head to the side. "Luna already said she can't cure it with anything in here, so what exactly do you think-"
"Did I ask for your input?" Alice says irritably, speaking over him. "We'll find a way."
I just sit there, watching the others talk. I don't know how to convince them that Radical-6 isn't why I collapsed, and frankly I'm not sure I even want to. It's a convenient excuse, really.
"Until then though, you'll need to stay here, okay Clover?"
...or maybe a not so convenient excuse.
"Wait, what do you mean?" I protest. "If we can't treat the virus anyways, I don't see how me staying in the infirmary helps."
"We barely have any idea what the effects of Radical-6 are." Alice explains. "All we know is that it caused you to hyperventilate and fall unconscious, but there could be any number of other symptoms. If something else happens, it's best for you to already be here, so you can be treated as fast as possible."
…right, most of the group doesn't know that Radical-6 causes suicide, they just know that it's supposedly deadly… and now they're getting the wrong idea about it on top of that. Damn, I really don't want to be stuck in the infirmary. Not only is it bad to be left out of current events, but staying in one place and having everyone know about it is practically inviting Dio to come kill me again. Luckily, I have what might be the perfect answer for this.
"Alice, the ADAM isn't trustworthy. We found it in here after all — it could have been tampered with in any number of ways." I say, using her own words to make my point.
"Yes, it might have been." Alice admits. "But we can't take that risk."
I stare at her for a second. What the- are you- Miss Hypocritical here- arrrrrgh, the humor of this role reversal is still not lost on me, but I'm not finding it quite as funny anymore. Okay, so if that didn't work, then… this is still after I told Alice about "seeing the future", right?
"Look, Alice, you don't need to worry about me anymore." I say, trying to put the same sort of emphasis on my words as last time. "I'm sure of it."
"I would not be so certain." K says. "The newspaper clipping we discovered seemed to indicate the disease as being highly dangerous."
"No, I just- I know I'm not in any more danger, alright?" I say, giving Alice a pointed look and willing her to understand it.
"Huh...? Clover, what are you talking about?" Sigma asks, confused.
"It's a private thing between me and her. You wouldn't understand." Alice says aloud, then drops her voice to a whisper and speaks directly in my ear. "I'm sorry Clover, but I can't accept that. Even if you mean it, I can't trust that your judgment hasn't been compromised by the virus too."
…you've got to be kidding me.
"Don't worry too much Clover." Dio says airily. "Luna's already agreed to stay here and watch over you, since she's got the most chance of being able to do something about it if anything does happen."
I shudder, squirming away from the sound of his voice again. No, I can't stay here, I can't- actually, wait, I shouldn't even be staying in this timeline, let alone this room. I know I can SHIFT now, and even if I only managed it in... the circumstances that I did, maybe now that I've actually experienced it…
Closing my eyes, I try once more to eject my consciousness from the timeline. When nothing happens, I reach for the feeling of how it happened before, trying to draw on that for reference… only for my mind to immediately connect it to the sensation of choking on my own blood, the memory sending another full body tremor through me before I manage to wrench my thoughts away from the subject.
"Luna, she's shivering!" Alice says worriedly, placing a hand on my forehead. "Is that another effect of the virus?"
"Not that any of us would know, but I'd actually guess that Clover's just cold." Tenmyouji remarks. "It's hardly any wonder; we're all cold. This place doesn't really seem to have been built with comfort in mind."
"Yeah, and she's… not exactly wearing much…" Sigma adds, rather obviously eyeing me. I let it slide, too caught up in my own head to pay him much mind right now.
"...oh." Alice says, evidently not having thought of that. "Well, just bear with it for now, Clover. We'll be out of here soon."
I acknowledge her with a sort of shaky nod, no longer willing to argue the point.
"That's a nice sentiment and all, but it's only going to come true if we keep looking for a way out." Phi says, the only words I've heard her speak since she first entered the room. "We need to get back to it. Come on."
The white-haired girl moves to the door and walks out of the room without another word. Realizing that she's probably right, the others begin to trickle out after her, most of them wishing me well as they go. Alice, now at the back of the group, gives me a final parting look and a promise to check in soon before the door shuts itself behind her, leaving me alone in the infirmary with Luna again.
"Just lie down and rest for now, okay?" Luna soothingly instructs as quiet falls over the room.
"…yeah, alright." I say dully, flopping back down on the uncomfortably hard bed.
Luna seems to accept my words despite my unhappy tone and sits down two beds away from me, presumably wanting to keep close while also trying not to invade my personal space. I don't know why she's even bothering, since there's nothing she can do if the Radical-6 really does kick in, but I guess she promised the others or something.
I sigh, staring up at the ceiling. Great… so, to summarize, I've been semi-permanently confined to the infirmary, I still can't SHIFT on demand, and I probably have a touch of PTSD from Dio slicing my neck open. Hard to believe my situation has somehow gotten even worse, but apparently I have a real talent for making that happen.
I roll over on the bed, pressing my face into the overly firm mattress. What the heck am I going to do about Dio anyways? Since I seem to be trapped in this timeline for now, I have no choice but to think about it, especially since it's entirely likely he's going to start killing people again the second he gets the opportunity. I guess if I'm ever allowed out of here I could try to take him by surprise; ambush him before he does it to me or anyone else… but even if I succeeded, his bombs are on a failsafe, so they'd probably activate and blow everyone up anyways. That would admittedly be a quicker way of going out than having my throat slit again, but I'd really prefer to find a way to move timelines that doesn't involve me getting killed, especially since I have no guarantee that will even work a second time. I certainly can't seem to do it now after all, and even just trying was…
Shivering at the thought, I roll back over, finding my previous position uncomfortable. I can't let what Dio did to me affect me like this; I'll never manage to SHIFT again if I do. Usually nothing does affect me like this, honestly. Granted, I've never been murdered before, but other negative experiences have always tended to affect me more… abstractly? No, that's not the right word. "Clinically", perhaps? There just... usually feels like there's a certain degree of separation between an issue and how I actually process it, kind of like I'm always looking at things from an outside perspective, even when a problem directly affects me. This, though… I don't know if it's because of how it happened, or because of the severity of the event, or just because I have Clover's brain right now, but I can barely even think about my own death without panicking, which is completely unacceptable given the circumstances. But I can't really force myself not to panic…
I groan quietly and bring my hands up to clutch my face, not seeing a way to move forward.
"Are you alright Clover?" Luna asks, clear concern in her voice. "Do you have a headache?"
…well, even if I don't know what to do right now, I suppose gathering a little more information couldn't hurt.
"No, but I do have a question." I reply, looking over at her. "Did the others already open any of the AB rooms?"
"Oh, um," Luna says, seeming a little startled by the sudden inquiry, "yes, I believe they did that just before you woke up. We weren't sure when… or, even if you'd awaken, so it was agreed that it would be best not to wait."
Okay, so that leaves me with probably… somewhere around 30 minutes before the AB room decision happens? And then a break afterwards before the next set of doors. That's at least a fair amount of time to come up with a new plan of attack, I suppose.
"Alright... and what rooms did everyone go through again?"
"Quark and I went through a room known as the GAULEM Bay." Luna replies. "I believe Tenmyouji, Alice, and K went through the Control Room, and Sigma, Dio, and Phi went through a place called the PEC. I'm not… entirely sure, I'm afraid. They were only mentioned in passing."
Yeah, but you'd know anyways, so I have little reason to doubt any of that.
"Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?"
I glance over at Luna, deliberating. There is, actually: I'd kind of like to ask her about SHIFTing. The only time I've done it so far, it wasn't really under my control, and it's become pretty clear by now that even aside from my newfound issues there's something I'm just not doing right.
The problem is… I'm not sure how much Luna really knows about the subject? I would think that she has to know something, since she's definitely aware of at least the broad strokes of how this whole plan is supposed to work, but she's also a robot — a GAULEM, that is — with no personal experience with SHIFTing, or anything else involving the Morphogenetic Field for that matter. Not to mention she has a rather vested interest in seeing said plan not get screwed up by some random unknown consciousness from outside the universe that just happened to somehow end up in Clover. So…
"…no, that's it." I tell her.
"Okay then. Feel free to tell me if you think of anything else." Luna offers.
That ends the conversation, and the room is plunged into silence once again.
I spend more than a few minutes just lying there on the bed, idly fidgeting with Clover's strange hair ornaments as my mind circles itself like an empty ouroboros, completely failing to come up with any feasible way to make progress. Why does my grand objective have to hinge upon a skill that I'm so clearly terrible at? Hell, my objective in part is that skill, and not only can I not use it properly, but if I don't manage to unlink the concept from my recent more-than-near-death experience such that I don't flash back to the memory just thinking about using it, it's going to end up being a one-time only deal- ouch!
As I take a moment to disentangle my hand from where one of its nails got snagged in Clover's bright pink curls, the door on the other side of the room — the one Luna and I can't see — audibly opens. My heart starts beating faster as footsteps sound out, worry that the visitor might be Dio briefly overtaking me. The person rounds the divider…
"Oh, hello Phi." Luna greets as the girl comes into view.
"Hey Luna. Clover." Phi says in return, her eyes slightly lidded.
My heart begins to calm. Just Phi... nothing to worry about…
"Is something wrong?" Luna asks.
"No." Phi replies. "I'm here to give you a break, actually. I figure it's not really fair to you that you're stuck in here while the rest of us are off investigating, so I can take over watching Clover for a little while if you'd like."
…well, maybe a little something to worry about. Phi said that casually, like she's just trying to be nice, but I don't buy it for a second. She is way too suspicious of everyone else for the vast majority of the game to just spontaneously do nice things for them, not to mention she was the one urging everyone out the door not too long ago. Phi mentioned in the last timeline that she was suspicious of me even before I preemptively grabbed the scalpel away from Quark, so I'd guess that she's planning to try and interrogate me or something? This would be the perfect time and place for that... or at least, it would be if Luna wasn't here.
"Oh, it's alright, you don't need to do that." Luna says. "It's no trouble."
Phi's annoyance at that answer shows on her face, but she quickly smooths it over.
"Are you sure?" she persists. "Even if it's just for a few minutes, I wouldn't mind."
Wow. Subtle.
"That's... kind of you," Luna says hesitantly, "and I don't mean to offend, but..."
"I have taken first aid classes before, if that's what you're worried about." Phi interrupts.
"Oh?"
Phi nods. "I'm obviously no doctor, but if Clover starts showing any other common viral symptoms, I should be able to treat them about as well as you could."
"I see." Luna says, looking thoughtful. "Well, there is one thing I wanted to do. It shouldn't take too long, but if you could take over until I get back-"
"Sure, of course." Phi interrupts again, looking increasingly impatient and seeming as though she'd like to just physically shove Luna out the door. "I was the one who offered after all, so go ahead."
"Ah, wait one moment." Luna says, turning to me. "Clover, are you okay with Phi taking over for me for a short while?"
Phi looks at me and grimaces, presumably thinking I'm going to try and veto the whole idea. However...
"Yeah, I'm fine with it." I say. "I don't mind at all."
Phi's eyes widen in surprise. True, I'm hardly particularly eager for her to try and grill me for information, but at the same time, I rather want to know why it is Phi thinks I'm so suspicious when I haven't done anything obviously questionable yet. Besides, just like last timeline, Phi doesn't have any real leverage that could force me to tell her anything, so I'm not truly all that concerned about talking to her. At least it will give me something constructive to do.
Luna nods. "Alright then. I'll be right back."
With that, Luna stands from the bed and walks out of the room. As soon as the door closes behind her, Phi turns toward me with a rather less-than-friendly expression, clearly unhappy about something. I sit up, preparing myself for the coming cross-examination as the white-haired girl walks to the side of my bed, opens her mouth, and says:
"How do you remove the bracelets?"
I blink. "I- what?"
"I know you know how." Phi continues, crossing her arms. "Tell me."
I stare at her. She... okay, so she knows I know how to do that, but how does she know? It's not like I've removed my own bracelet, and I don't recall even so much as hinting about it to anyone else. Even if Phi saw the missing aluminum, she shouldn't know what that means. In fact, if she did, she wouldn't need to be asking this question to begin with. Is this some sort of test, or-
An important realization strikes me.
"You," I start, "you're from later on, aren't-"
"That doesn't matter right now!" Phi nearly shouts. "Just tell me how to remove the bracelets!"
...jeez, unpleasant much?
"How about a little courtesy first?" I say, rather annoyed. "I don't see what I've done to you to warrant being treated like the enemy."
I get that she suspects me of being up to something, but if this is Phi from much later in her own, personal timeline, you'd think she might have realized by now that I'm not working against her.
Phi glares at me. "Look, you're the one who told me to ask you, okay?" she says, sounding highly frustrated. "So, just… please!"
My eyebrows shoot up. I was the one who told her to ask me?
That… changes things. If that's true, then…
"…fine." I say, considering my next words carefully. "But I want to know something in exchange. If I really was the one who told you to ask me about this, then… I should have given you a certain secret phrase to tell me. What was it?"
Phi's expression flattens, dropping into a near unreadable mask. She stares silently at me for several seconds before finally replying.
"Against all odds, luck remains."
Relief flows through me, and I smile widely, my grin threatening to burst my cheeks. Yes! That was the phrase I just came up with, which means I must manage to SHIFT again at some point, because this Phi already spoke with future me in a different timeline! I've confirmed my own eventual success!
Highly satisfied with this unexpected turn of events, I happily fish the square of aluminum foil out of my back pocket and hold it up in front of me.
"Is that… aluminum foil?" Phi asks, squinting at it.
"Yep." I say, still grinning.
"How is this helpful?"
"If you slip a piece under the top of the bracelet, it should block the heartbeat sensor from reaching your arm." I explain. "Once the bracelet doesn't detect a pulse anymore, it unlocks."
I hold out the foil to her in case she wants to test my words. Phi doesn't take it from me however, instead seeming merely contemplative.
"Where did you get this from?" she asks.
"I took it from one of the puzzles in the crew quarters." I reply. "Why, did you want your own?"
"Got it." Phi says, not actually answering me. "Thanks."
Without another word, Phi moves away, props herself up against the wall next to the mirror, and proceeds to start staring off into nothing for no apparent reason.
...um, alright then. Not really sure what's up with her... I guess I'll have the chance to find out later though, given what I just learned!
I lay back on the bed, giggling softly to myself. Phi doesn't know it, but there was even a little word play referring to the real me in that phrase I asked her for. "Luck remains", hehe… what a surprising way for things to turn out! I would never have expected to be able to outright confirm my future survival like that. That's a huge load off my mind, knowing for absolute certain that I'll manage to continue SHIFTing...
...or at least, some version of me will?
My mood somehow manages to fall even faster than it rose. I was so giddy that my spur-of-the-moment plan worked that I forgot: stable time loops don't necessarily assure anything in this universe. Events aren't circumstantially guaranteed by them, a timeline just stops being the "true" one when it can't fulfill the conditions of a loop anymore. I could still screw up and fail; the me that told Phi to ask about the bracelets might have just been a different me from another timeline, who also learned how to SHIFT. Having come up with the phrase on the spot isn't a foolproof measure of knowing; an alternate me could have come up with the exact same thing for the exact same reasons. After all, we'd think just like each other.
I frown. Although… is that really how it works? I think that's how Zero Time Dilemma explains it, with all the various timelines already existing alongside each other from the start, but up until now I've been operating under the assumption that each line only comes into existence once someone SHIFTs back to change something. That's what the interface of Virtue's Last Reward implies after all, and also just what makes the most sense to me, especially because — and this just occurred to me — ZTD's version of the concept opens up a really weird question: if all the alternate timelines exist even without any SHIFTing being required to create them, then wouldn't the Sigma we follow all throughout VLR have, in all likelihood, gotten forcibly jettisoned out of his body at some point by some other him in another timeline? They would have had the exact same potential and requirements to SHIFT, right? And if they all exist simultaneously, then-
I shake my head. I'm getting myself confused; most of what Sigma does in Virtue's Last Reward was probably just him resonating with himself in alternate timelines through the Morphogenetic Field rather than SHIFTing outright, so that isn't actually an issue.
Or... no, it was SHIFTing, wasn't it? The player is sort of led to assume it's just Sigma receiving information through the MGF at first, but the end of VLR reveals what SHIFTing is, and that the AB Game had been meant to train Sigma and Phi in that specific skill all along. So, how the heck did that work then? Sigma replaced his alternate selves countless different times, yet none of them, despite being in equally SHIFT-prompting conditions, ever replaced him?
And that's another thing, actually: the switch of consciousness. ZTD states that when someone SHIFTs, they replace the consciousness of their other self, completely exchanging places with them... which is rather horrifying come to think of it, in that it means I probably sent another version of myself to my own death out of absolutely nowhere. Ignoring that for now (and forever), we know this to be true, as Sigma's two 40-year jumps are completely dependent on the concept.
...except, that being the case, how did I end up traveling back to where I did? I supposedly should have replaced my alternate timeline self there, but I came back to the door choice before a choice was actually made. Meaning there was no alternate self, because the timeline hadn't split yet, something that should be true by both VLR and ZTD's conflicting rules. Sigma does that too in the game, usually traveling back to just prior to one of the AB Game's decisions instead of just after, but if I take into account how SHIFTing is presented as working even just in VLR, then that... doesn't seem possible. I mean, it was probably just a detail intended to make gameplay flow smoother by reminding the player of what came prior, but since almost everything else about the interface was meant to be taken literally- arrrrrrrgh, this doesn't make any sense!!!
The sound of the door opening again thankfully interrupts my increasingly confused thought process. I sit up to see Luna walk in, carrying a couple of small pillows I recognize as coming from the couch in the lounge.
"I'm back." Luna announces.
"Hi Luna." I say. "That was fast."
"I did say it would be." Luna says, smiling as she turns and gives Phi a small bow. "Thank you for watching over her."
"You're welcome." Phi replies almost tonelessly.
Without any further ceremony, she turns and walks out of the room. Yeah, really starting to wonder what's going on with her...
"Here you go, Clover." Luna says, distracting me from that mystery by walking over and holding the cushions out to me. "I checked all the open rooms for something to help you keep warm, but I'm afraid that these were all I could find. I'm not sure how much they'll help, but hopefully they're better than nothing."
I blink at the unexpected gesture before taking the offered pillows, hugging one to my chest and placing the other between my legs. The cushions aren't any warmer than the room is, but my body heat begins to seep into them as I keep them pressed up against me, making them increasingly more comfortable.
"Thank you, Luna." I say gratefully. "This was really thoughtful of you."
The cold wasn't why I was shivering in this specific instance, but that doesn't mean I haven't still been feeling it this entire time. Anything that can help me ward off the near-fridge level ambient temperature of this place is highly prized at the moment. Besides, even if Luna hadn't found anything, just the fact that she bothered at all without even being asked was... kind of her.
"I'm glad." Luna says happily. "Please, do tell me if there's anything else I can do to help you feel more comfortable."
"No, I think I'm fine for now." I tell her. "I should... get back to resting, I suppose."
Luna nods, and I lay back down again, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
My time in this universe hasn't been a pleasant experience thus far. Not by any means.
But... at least it's not all bad.
…nope, still Clover.
I quickly sit up and look around, unsure of exactly where I am. I appear to be in a bed — one of three, all of them sheetless, lined up beside each other in a neat little row. To my right is a sink with a dirty mirror hanging above it, while the rest of the room is hidden by a dark blue room divider… I'm in the infirmary?
Footsteps from the other side of the room draw my attention. A second later, Luna rounds the divider, and spots me sitting up.
"Oh, you're awake!" Luna says with undisguised relief. "Wait right here, I'm going to go get the others."
Before I can ask or even say anything, she's already left. Questions dying in my throat, I let myself slowly lean back against the wall, trying to process everything.
I made it. I can SHIFT. In fact, not only can I SHIFT, but my memory apparently stays with me in its entirety, unlike Sigma and Phi's until the very end of the game. That's incredibly useful. Not having to rely on "flashes of insight" should give me a huge advantage in making it to the correct timeline…
I draw my knees up to chest, quivering.
…if only I hadn't had to die for it to work. That was the single most terrifying experience of my life — though, I guess that's only natural, seeing as how it literally killed me. I can almost still feel the paring knife pressed up against my throat, and Dio's weight bearing down upon my back… even though I took precautions, they didn't make any difference in the end. I shouldn't have isolated myself; I should have known.
I squeeze my legs tightly, wishing that the sensation comforted me more. The fact that I had such a huge advantage information-wise and yet still ended up dead by Dio's hand is honestly an extremely depressing thought. Worse, I only managed to go back as far as the second set of doors: Akane is still dead, and I still need to make it to a timeline where she's not. But it seems like in order to do that, I'm probably going to have to...
I shut my eyes, squeezing back the oncoming tears before they can fall this time. No. I'll figure out how to SHIFT without dying; I will. I know it's not an absolutely necessary step of the process, and now that I've done it once, surely-
My mental self-reassurances are interrupted as the door slides up, and an entire throng of people rush into the room. Alice, heading the pack, is the first to spot me.
"Clover!"
Alice runs to the side of my bed, and I stand up just in time for her to envelop me in a tight, obviously relieved hug. Even with her strange chest ring pressing into parts of my anatomy that I'm still not exactly used to, I can't help but feel comforted, particularly given the state I last saw her in. I find myself hugging back almost immediately, smiling despite myself.
"Alice..."
I look over her shoulder at the watching crowd, which thankfully seems largely content to let us have our moment. After a little while, Alice breaks our embrace, which the others take as their cue to speak up.
"Welcome back." Sigma starts.
"Grandpa was worried about you." Quark says, smiling. "We're glad to see you're okay Miss Clover!"
"Indeed." K adds. "I believe we can all agree that it is good to see you are alright now."
"Yeah… had us pretty nervous for a bit there."
The last voice sends ice racing up my spine, and I flinch backwards as Dio steps past Phi and Sigma to the front of the group, trying to force myself not to panic. Have to stay calm… don't want to pass out again…
I quickly wrench my eyes away, trying not to focus on the man who murdered me. He wouldn't try anything while everyone else is around, right? Then again, I'd thought he wouldn't attack me without his knife, but that just made him go find a different one-
"Clover?" Sigma says. "You're still with us, right?"
I shake my head to try and clear it. I need to focus on the here and now.
"Y-yeah." I stutter out. "Hey, everyone… what did I miss?"
"After you passed out, I did my best to regulate your breathing." Luna explains. "Your respiration stabilized before too long, but you didn't wake up, so I carried you to the next room."
"Miss Luna said we should still check you in the infirmary, so we solved all the puzzles as quick as we could, and got you back here as fast as possible!" Quark adds.
Looks like I was out long enough to miss the escape room entirely… I'm not sure if that's a problem or not, but right now I'm leaning on the side of not.
"Thanks. Both of you." I say. "Sorry to have caused so much trouble."
"Our team escaped and made it back here not long after." K adds. "Sigma's team showed up about ten minutes later."
"I'm just happy you're awake." Alice says. "You really scared me back there…"
"Well, let's not celebrate just yet." Tenmyouji interrupts. "I'm glad Clover's awake and all too, but we can't just forget what we found out."
The mood of the room abruptly darkens. I look from face to face, trying to figure out what's wrong, but can't discern anything from them.
"What's wrong? Someone mind cluing me in?" I ask, when no one speaks up after several seconds.
Alice bites her lip and turns to look me straight in the eye.
"I'm sorry Clover, but… you're infected with Radical-6."
…
I sit back down on the bed and lower my head into my hands, unable to stop myself from letting loose a small giggle at Alice's solemn pronouncement.
"Clover, that wasn't a joke." Sigma says seriously.
I know it's not, but the irony of this situation is too staggering for me not to laugh at it.
"So, you used the ADAM on me while I was out then?" I ask, raising my head again.
Alice nods, her expression still grim. "As soon as we escaped and made it back here. Luna wasn't sure why you started hyperventilating, so she scanned you, and… the machine diagnosed you as positive for the virus."
Not exactly surprising, seeing as how literally everyone here except Luna would show positive for said virus. Though, come to think of it…
I lean over and count the number of heads. Everyone still seems to be up and about, Quark and Alice included… I guess no one's actually been hit by the Radical-6 yet, somehow? That's strange. And makes me the only one who's suspected of being sick, apparently.
"Don't worry," Alice says reassuringly, "I promise, we'll find a way to cure it."
"…you can say that, but I don't really see how." Tenmyouji says dolefully, looking away.
"Yeah, have you forgotten where we are?" Dio asks, raising a finger and tilting his head to the side. "Luna already said she can't cure it with anything in here, so what exactly do you think-"
"Did I ask for your input?" Alice says irritably, speaking over him. "We'll find a way."
I just sit there, watching the others talk. I don't know how to convince them that Radical-6 isn't why I collapsed, and frankly I'm not sure I even want to. It's a convenient excuse, really.
"Until then though, you'll need to stay here, okay Clover?"
...or maybe a not so convenient excuse.
"Wait, what do you mean?" I protest. "If we can't treat the virus anyways, I don't see how me staying in the infirmary helps."
"We barely have any idea what the effects of Radical-6 are." Alice explains. "All we know is that it caused you to hyperventilate and fall unconscious, but there could be any number of other symptoms. If something else happens, it's best for you to already be here, so you can be treated as fast as possible."
…right, most of the group doesn't know that Radical-6 causes suicide, they just know that it's supposedly deadly… and now they're getting the wrong idea about it on top of that. Damn, I really don't want to be stuck in the infirmary. Not only is it bad to be left out of current events, but staying in one place and having everyone know about it is practically inviting Dio to come kill me again. Luckily, I have what might be the perfect answer for this.
"Alice, the ADAM isn't trustworthy. We found it in here after all — it could have been tampered with in any number of ways." I say, using her own words to make my point.
"Yes, it might have been." Alice admits. "But we can't take that risk."
I stare at her for a second. What the- are you- Miss Hypocritical here- arrrrrgh, the humor of this role reversal is still not lost on me, but I'm not finding it quite as funny anymore. Okay, so if that didn't work, then… this is still after I told Alice about "seeing the future", right?
"Look, Alice, you don't need to worry about me anymore." I say, trying to put the same sort of emphasis on my words as last time. "I'm sure of it."
"I would not be so certain." K says. "The newspaper clipping we discovered seemed to indicate the disease as being highly dangerous."
"No, I just- I know I'm not in any more danger, alright?" I say, giving Alice a pointed look and willing her to understand it.
"Huh...? Clover, what are you talking about?" Sigma asks, confused.
"It's a private thing between me and her. You wouldn't understand." Alice says aloud, then drops her voice to a whisper and speaks directly in my ear. "I'm sorry Clover, but I can't accept that. Even if you mean it, I can't trust that your judgment hasn't been compromised by the virus too."
…you've got to be kidding me.
"Don't worry too much Clover." Dio says airily. "Luna's already agreed to stay here and watch over you, since she's got the most chance of being able to do something about it if anything does happen."
I shudder, squirming away from the sound of his voice again. No, I can't stay here, I can't- actually, wait, I shouldn't even be staying in this timeline, let alone this room. I know I can SHIFT now, and even if I only managed it in... the circumstances that I did, maybe now that I've actually experienced it…
Closing my eyes, I try once more to eject my consciousness from the timeline. When nothing happens, I reach for the feeling of how it happened before, trying to draw on that for reference… only for my mind to immediately connect it to the sensation of choking on my own blood, the memory sending another full body tremor through me before I manage to wrench my thoughts away from the subject.
"Luna, she's shivering!" Alice says worriedly, placing a hand on my forehead. "Is that another effect of the virus?"
"Not that any of us would know, but I'd actually guess that Clover's just cold." Tenmyouji remarks. "It's hardly any wonder; we're all cold. This place doesn't really seem to have been built with comfort in mind."
"Yeah, and she's… not exactly wearing much…" Sigma adds, rather obviously eyeing me. I let it slide, too caught up in my own head to pay him much mind right now.
"...oh." Alice says, evidently not having thought of that. "Well, just bear with it for now, Clover. We'll be out of here soon."
I acknowledge her with a sort of shaky nod, no longer willing to argue the point.
"That's a nice sentiment and all, but it's only going to come true if we keep looking for a way out." Phi says, the only words I've heard her speak since she first entered the room. "We need to get back to it. Come on."
The white-haired girl moves to the door and walks out of the room without another word. Realizing that she's probably right, the others begin to trickle out after her, most of them wishing me well as they go. Alice, now at the back of the group, gives me a final parting look and a promise to check in soon before the door shuts itself behind her, leaving me alone in the infirmary with Luna again.
"Just lie down and rest for now, okay?" Luna soothingly instructs as quiet falls over the room.
"…yeah, alright." I say dully, flopping back down on the uncomfortably hard bed.
Luna seems to accept my words despite my unhappy tone and sits down two beds away from me, presumably wanting to keep close while also trying not to invade my personal space. I don't know why she's even bothering, since there's nothing she can do if the Radical-6 really does kick in, but I guess she promised the others or something.
I sigh, staring up at the ceiling. Great… so, to summarize, I've been semi-permanently confined to the infirmary, I still can't SHIFT on demand, and I probably have a touch of PTSD from Dio slicing my neck open. Hard to believe my situation has somehow gotten even worse, but apparently I have a real talent for making that happen.
I roll over on the bed, pressing my face into the overly firm mattress. What the heck am I going to do about Dio anyways? Since I seem to be trapped in this timeline for now, I have no choice but to think about it, especially since it's entirely likely he's going to start killing people again the second he gets the opportunity. I guess if I'm ever allowed out of here I could try to take him by surprise; ambush him before he does it to me or anyone else… but even if I succeeded, his bombs are on a failsafe, so they'd probably activate and blow everyone up anyways. That would admittedly be a quicker way of going out than having my throat slit again, but I'd really prefer to find a way to move timelines that doesn't involve me getting killed, especially since I have no guarantee that will even work a second time. I certainly can't seem to do it now after all, and even just trying was…
Shivering at the thought, I roll back over, finding my previous position uncomfortable. I can't let what Dio did to me affect me like this; I'll never manage to SHIFT again if I do. Usually nothing does affect me like this, honestly. Granted, I've never been murdered before, but other negative experiences have always tended to affect me more… abstractly? No, that's not the right word. "Clinically", perhaps? There just... usually feels like there's a certain degree of separation between an issue and how I actually process it, kind of like I'm always looking at things from an outside perspective, even when a problem directly affects me. This, though… I don't know if it's because of how it happened, or because of the severity of the event, or just because I have Clover's brain right now, but I can barely even think about my own death without panicking, which is completely unacceptable given the circumstances. But I can't really force myself not to panic…
I groan quietly and bring my hands up to clutch my face, not seeing a way to move forward.
"Are you alright Clover?" Luna asks, clear concern in her voice. "Do you have a headache?"
…well, even if I don't know what to do right now, I suppose gathering a little more information couldn't hurt.
"No, but I do have a question." I reply, looking over at her. "Did the others already open any of the AB rooms?"
"Oh, um," Luna says, seeming a little startled by the sudden inquiry, "yes, I believe they did that just before you woke up. We weren't sure when… or, even if you'd awaken, so it was agreed that it would be best not to wait."
Okay, so that leaves me with probably… somewhere around 30 minutes before the AB room decision happens? And then a break afterwards before the next set of doors. That's at least a fair amount of time to come up with a new plan of attack, I suppose.
"Alright... and what rooms did everyone go through again?"
"Quark and I went through a room known as the GAULEM Bay." Luna replies. "I believe Tenmyouji, Alice, and K went through the Control Room, and Sigma, Dio, and Phi went through a place called the PEC. I'm not… entirely sure, I'm afraid. They were only mentioned in passing."
Yeah, but you'd know anyways, so I have little reason to doubt any of that.
"Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?"
I glance over at Luna, deliberating. There is, actually: I'd kind of like to ask her about SHIFTing. The only time I've done it so far, it wasn't really under my control, and it's become pretty clear by now that even aside from my newfound issues there's something I'm just not doing right.
The problem is… I'm not sure how much Luna really knows about the subject? I would think that she has to know something, since she's definitely aware of at least the broad strokes of how this whole plan is supposed to work, but she's also a robot — a GAULEM, that is — with no personal experience with SHIFTing, or anything else involving the Morphogenetic Field for that matter. Not to mention she has a rather vested interest in seeing said plan not get screwed up by some random unknown consciousness from outside the universe that just happened to somehow end up in Clover. So…
"…no, that's it." I tell her.
"Okay then. Feel free to tell me if you think of anything else." Luna offers.
That ends the conversation, and the room is plunged into silence once again.
I spend more than a few minutes just lying there on the bed, idly fidgeting with Clover's strange hair ornaments as my mind circles itself like an empty ouroboros, completely failing to come up with any feasible way to make progress. Why does my grand objective have to hinge upon a skill that I'm so clearly terrible at? Hell, my objective in part is that skill, and not only can I not use it properly, but if I don't manage to unlink the concept from my recent more-than-near-death experience such that I don't flash back to the memory just thinking about using it, it's going to end up being a one-time only deal- ouch!
As I take a moment to disentangle my hand from where one of its nails got snagged in Clover's bright pink curls, the door on the other side of the room — the one Luna and I can't see — audibly opens. My heart starts beating faster as footsteps sound out, worry that the visitor might be Dio briefly overtaking me. The person rounds the divider…
"Oh, hello Phi." Luna greets as the girl comes into view.
"Hey Luna. Clover." Phi says in return, her eyes slightly lidded.
My heart begins to calm. Just Phi... nothing to worry about…
"Is something wrong?" Luna asks.
"No." Phi replies. "I'm here to give you a break, actually. I figure it's not really fair to you that you're stuck in here while the rest of us are off investigating, so I can take over watching Clover for a little while if you'd like."
…well, maybe a little something to worry about. Phi said that casually, like she's just trying to be nice, but I don't buy it for a second. She is way too suspicious of everyone else for the vast majority of the game to just spontaneously do nice things for them, not to mention she was the one urging everyone out the door not too long ago. Phi mentioned in the last timeline that she was suspicious of me even before I preemptively grabbed the scalpel away from Quark, so I'd guess that she's planning to try and interrogate me or something? This would be the perfect time and place for that... or at least, it would be if Luna wasn't here.
"Oh, it's alright, you don't need to do that." Luna says. "It's no trouble."
Phi's annoyance at that answer shows on her face, but she quickly smooths it over.
"Are you sure?" she persists. "Even if it's just for a few minutes, I wouldn't mind."
Wow. Subtle.
"That's... kind of you," Luna says hesitantly, "and I don't mean to offend, but..."
"I have taken first aid classes before, if that's what you're worried about." Phi interrupts.
"Oh?"
Phi nods. "I'm obviously no doctor, but if Clover starts showing any other common viral symptoms, I should be able to treat them about as well as you could."
"I see." Luna says, looking thoughtful. "Well, there is one thing I wanted to do. It shouldn't take too long, but if you could take over until I get back-"
"Sure, of course." Phi interrupts again, looking increasingly impatient and seeming as though she'd like to just physically shove Luna out the door. "I was the one who offered after all, so go ahead."
"Ah, wait one moment." Luna says, turning to me. "Clover, are you okay with Phi taking over for me for a short while?"
Phi looks at me and grimaces, presumably thinking I'm going to try and veto the whole idea. However...
"Yeah, I'm fine with it." I say. "I don't mind at all."
Phi's eyes widen in surprise. True, I'm hardly particularly eager for her to try and grill me for information, but at the same time, I rather want to know why it is Phi thinks I'm so suspicious when I haven't done anything obviously questionable yet. Besides, just like last timeline, Phi doesn't have any real leverage that could force me to tell her anything, so I'm not truly all that concerned about talking to her. At least it will give me something constructive to do.
Luna nods. "Alright then. I'll be right back."
With that, Luna stands from the bed and walks out of the room. As soon as the door closes behind her, Phi turns toward me with a rather less-than-friendly expression, clearly unhappy about something. I sit up, preparing myself for the coming cross-examination as the white-haired girl walks to the side of my bed, opens her mouth, and says:
"How do you remove the bracelets?"
I blink. "I- what?"
"I know you know how." Phi continues, crossing her arms. "Tell me."
I stare at her. She... okay, so she knows I know how to do that, but how does she know? It's not like I've removed my own bracelet, and I don't recall even so much as hinting about it to anyone else. Even if Phi saw the missing aluminum, she shouldn't know what that means. In fact, if she did, she wouldn't need to be asking this question to begin with. Is this some sort of test, or-
An important realization strikes me.
"You," I start, "you're from later on, aren't-"
"That doesn't matter right now!" Phi nearly shouts. "Just tell me how to remove the bracelets!"
...jeez, unpleasant much?
"How about a little courtesy first?" I say, rather annoyed. "I don't see what I've done to you to warrant being treated like the enemy."
I get that she suspects me of being up to something, but if this is Phi from much later in her own, personal timeline, you'd think she might have realized by now that I'm not working against her.
Phi glares at me. "Look, you're the one who told me to ask you, okay?" she says, sounding highly frustrated. "So, just… please!"
My eyebrows shoot up. I was the one who told her to ask me?
That… changes things. If that's true, then…
"…fine." I say, considering my next words carefully. "But I want to know something in exchange. If I really was the one who told you to ask me about this, then… I should have given you a certain secret phrase to tell me. What was it?"
Phi's expression flattens, dropping into a near unreadable mask. She stares silently at me for several seconds before finally replying.
"Against all odds, luck remains."
Relief flows through me, and I smile widely, my grin threatening to burst my cheeks. Yes! That was the phrase I just came up with, which means I must manage to SHIFT again at some point, because this Phi already spoke with future me in a different timeline! I've confirmed my own eventual success!
Highly satisfied with this unexpected turn of events, I happily fish the square of aluminum foil out of my back pocket and hold it up in front of me.
"Is that… aluminum foil?" Phi asks, squinting at it.
"Yep." I say, still grinning.
"How is this helpful?"
"If you slip a piece under the top of the bracelet, it should block the heartbeat sensor from reaching your arm." I explain. "Once the bracelet doesn't detect a pulse anymore, it unlocks."
I hold out the foil to her in case she wants to test my words. Phi doesn't take it from me however, instead seeming merely contemplative.
"Where did you get this from?" she asks.
"I took it from one of the puzzles in the crew quarters." I reply. "Why, did you want your own?"
"Got it." Phi says, not actually answering me. "Thanks."
Without another word, Phi moves away, props herself up against the wall next to the mirror, and proceeds to start staring off into nothing for no apparent reason.
...um, alright then. Not really sure what's up with her... I guess I'll have the chance to find out later though, given what I just learned!
I lay back on the bed, giggling softly to myself. Phi doesn't know it, but there was even a little word play referring to the real me in that phrase I asked her for. "Luck remains", hehe… what a surprising way for things to turn out! I would never have expected to be able to outright confirm my future survival like that. That's a huge load off my mind, knowing for absolute certain that I'll manage to continue SHIFTing...
...or at least, some version of me will?
My mood somehow manages to fall even faster than it rose. I was so giddy that my spur-of-the-moment plan worked that I forgot: stable time loops don't necessarily assure anything in this universe. Events aren't circumstantially guaranteed by them, a timeline just stops being the "true" one when it can't fulfill the conditions of a loop anymore. I could still screw up and fail; the me that told Phi to ask about the bracelets might have just been a different me from another timeline, who also learned how to SHIFT. Having come up with the phrase on the spot isn't a foolproof measure of knowing; an alternate me could have come up with the exact same thing for the exact same reasons. After all, we'd think just like each other.
I frown. Although… is that really how it works? I think that's how Zero Time Dilemma explains it, with all the various timelines already existing alongside each other from the start, but up until now I've been operating under the assumption that each line only comes into existence once someone SHIFTs back to change something. That's what the interface of Virtue's Last Reward implies after all, and also just what makes the most sense to me, especially because — and this just occurred to me — ZTD's version of the concept opens up a really weird question: if all the alternate timelines exist even without any SHIFTing being required to create them, then wouldn't the Sigma we follow all throughout VLR have, in all likelihood, gotten forcibly jettisoned out of his body at some point by some other him in another timeline? They would have had the exact same potential and requirements to SHIFT, right? And if they all exist simultaneously, then-
I shake my head. I'm getting myself confused; most of what Sigma does in Virtue's Last Reward was probably just him resonating with himself in alternate timelines through the Morphogenetic Field rather than SHIFTing outright, so that isn't actually an issue.
Or... no, it was SHIFTing, wasn't it? The player is sort of led to assume it's just Sigma receiving information through the MGF at first, but the end of VLR reveals what SHIFTing is, and that the AB Game had been meant to train Sigma and Phi in that specific skill all along. So, how the heck did that work then? Sigma replaced his alternate selves countless different times, yet none of them, despite being in equally SHIFT-prompting conditions, ever replaced him?
And that's another thing, actually: the switch of consciousness. ZTD states that when someone SHIFTs, they replace the consciousness of their other self, completely exchanging places with them... which is rather horrifying come to think of it, in that it means I probably sent another version of myself to my own death out of absolutely nowhere. Ignoring that for now (and forever), we know this to be true, as Sigma's two 40-year jumps are completely dependent on the concept.
...except, that being the case, how did I end up traveling back to where I did? I supposedly should have replaced my alternate timeline self there, but I came back to the door choice before a choice was actually made. Meaning there was no alternate self, because the timeline hadn't split yet, something that should be true by both VLR and ZTD's conflicting rules. Sigma does that too in the game, usually traveling back to just prior to one of the AB Game's decisions instead of just after, but if I take into account how SHIFTing is presented as working even just in VLR, then that... doesn't seem possible. I mean, it was probably just a detail intended to make gameplay flow smoother by reminding the player of what came prior, but since almost everything else about the interface was meant to be taken literally- arrrrrrrgh, this doesn't make any sense!!!
The sound of the door opening again thankfully interrupts my increasingly confused thought process. I sit up to see Luna walk in, carrying a couple of small pillows I recognize as coming from the couch in the lounge.
"I'm back." Luna announces.
"Hi Luna." I say. "That was fast."
"I did say it would be." Luna says, smiling as she turns and gives Phi a small bow. "Thank you for watching over her."
"You're welcome." Phi replies almost tonelessly.
Without any further ceremony, she turns and walks out of the room. Yeah, really starting to wonder what's going on with her...
"Here you go, Clover." Luna says, distracting me from that mystery by walking over and holding the cushions out to me. "I checked all the open rooms for something to help you keep warm, but I'm afraid that these were all I could find. I'm not sure how much they'll help, but hopefully they're better than nothing."
I blink at the unexpected gesture before taking the offered pillows, hugging one to my chest and placing the other between my legs. The cushions aren't any warmer than the room is, but my body heat begins to seep into them as I keep them pressed up against me, making them increasingly more comfortable.
"Thank you, Luna." I say gratefully. "This was really thoughtful of you."
The cold wasn't why I was shivering in this specific instance, but that doesn't mean I haven't still been feeling it this entire time. Anything that can help me ward off the near-fridge level ambient temperature of this place is highly prized at the moment. Besides, even if Luna hadn't found anything, just the fact that she bothered at all without even being asked was... kind of her.
"I'm glad." Luna says happily. "Please, do tell me if there's anything else I can do to help you feel more comfortable."
"No, I think I'm fine for now." I tell her. "I should... get back to resting, I suppose."
Luna nods, and I lay back down again, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of my lips.
My time in this universe hasn't been a pleasant experience thus far. Not by any means.
But... at least it's not all bad.
Don't worry, I care too much about my SIs to just let them suddenly end. They're me, after all. 
Stand-in will be next, if you read that too.
Stand-in will be next, if you read that too.
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