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[Multiverse Crack SI] The Adventures of a Space Whale

Use OCs?

  • Yes

    Votes: 7 70.0%

  • No

    Votes: 3 30.0%
  • Total voters
    10
  • Poll closed .
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I think I preferred the DC mini-chapter to the Naruto one, honestly. The inclusion of literal anime physics was neat, though.
 
All of my yes, you have it. Now I owe you more hugs for the first chapter, but it seems I can only give one...
 
I wonder if anyone else felt him arrive. Havelock should also be connected to the Red, the Grey, and the Clear, too, since the Changer power doesn't just work on plants.
 
Booo, lacking Ivy x Harley. Boo. Too wank and no fun--or in this case, too much focus on OC and not enough on the world the original change affects--makes for less fun. Well, kept up with you this long, but yeah, should focus less on making this daughter or that OC and more on how things are changed by... the SI's presence (that SI's name is pretty bad, imo, but stylistic or taste preferences do not warrant any change. Just saying, because one of my occupations is being in charge of branding).
 
midnightmissiles said:
Booo, lacking Ivy x Harley. Boo. Too wank and no fun--or in this case, too much focus on OC and not enough on the world the original change affects--makes for less fun. Well, kept up with you this long, but yeah, should focus less on making this daughter or that OC and more on how things are changed by... the SI's presence (that SI's name is pretty bad, imo, but stylistic or taste preferences do not warrant any change. Just saying, because one of my occupations is being in charge of branding).
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I don't agree, connecting the worlds is always good.
 
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midnightmissiles said:
Booo, lacking Ivy x Harley. Boo. Too wank and no fun--or in this case, too much focus on OC and not enough on the world the original change affects--makes for less fun. Well, kept up with you this long, but yeah, should focus less on making this daughter or that OC and more on how things are changed by... the SI's presence (that SI's name is pretty bad, imo, but stylistic or taste preferences do not warrant any change. Just saying, because one of my occupations is being in charge of branding).
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I was planning to include Ivy/Harley, I just hit a bit of a wall on the chapter so it got cut off. That's also why there's relatively little substance on the butterflies that Havelock's presence will cause, so you should see more of that later.

On the issue of 'too much Mia'... fair enough, I guess, again because the chapter's shorter than I was expecting, but she's not going to be the focus of it. The viewpoints I use are all either Havelock or those people who are affected by whatever he's done now; since he was bringing his daughter over to the DC-verse, she was included in the chapter. She'll likely not be mentioned in the next one, because that will be focussing on the Justice League.

As for the name... eh. I like the name Havelock (and also, yes, it's a little shout-out to good old Pterry, may he rest in peace), and Cobalt was just a name of convenience that let me fit the teams together in the RWBY world, which kind of stuck because I found myself liking the sound of it. If you don't like it, that's perfectly fine, just don't be a dick about it, yeah?
 
Swimmingly said:
You were saying that developing OCs wasn't good, when the OC being developed was the daughter from another world?

What's wrong with Havelock as a name, by the way? I'm pretty sure it's an homage to Pratchett, but I might be wrong.
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... No. Firstly, OCs have nothing to do with connecting worlds. You can have OCs without going through multiple intellectual properties. You can go through multiple intellectual properties without ever making an OC. Secondly, please read more carefully. I wrote that developing original characters at the expense of showing affects of presence and POD isn't as fun. Unlike the other stylistic preferences, this is proven to decrease readership and interest in a work. He doesn't put enough focus on how he affects the people readers care about to introduce people that the readers don't yet care about. That's all there is to it, really.

I suppose another way to say it is "it's too early to introduce OCs", but that begs the question of "when is a good time", which I can't answer without undue effort because the writer is being slightly sporadic in length and pace.

Asking me for my personal distaste for a stylistic quirk when I just said it doesn't really warrant the author's attention seems rather argumentative of you, but I'll take it in good faith and explain. Please don't be offended, however. The reason I don't like "Havelock Cobalt" is because it sounds stupid to me. That's all there is to it, and something like that is just a simple, unavoidable personal preference, sadly. I hope you see that there's no reason for me to delve deeper into the explanation of "why". This isn't a therapy session, after all. Just like how some people prefer apples to oranges anyhow.
 
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midnightmissiles said:
I suppose another way to say it is "it's too early to introduce OCs", but that begs the question of "when is a good time", which I can't answer without undue effort because the writer is being slightly sporadic in length and pace.
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This entire story is about an OC.
The only other OC in the chapter was introduced previously, being the reason he's in the PJO universe.
 
You're an evil lunatic. You pop in the Harry Potter verse and wilfully allow a mad wizard to continue his megalomaniac reign of mass murder. Sure, that's okay, I guess? Then you allow Harry to be raised in the cupboard under the stairs. Just lol! Crazy!

Bending over backwards to 'keep things canon' when you're a God, and allowing such child abuse is, well. What a monster, yeah?

If Havelock hadn't been an omniscient and omnipotent God then it wouldn't be that big a deal, but, well, he's all-powerful.

Still, this is only a wank-gary stue-fic so it isn't supposed to be taken too seriously?
 
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Makes kinda wonder how Havelock avoided getting set as Hokage. Flee on site order and yellow flashes right hand guy does give some reliability. Liked DC part better.
 
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Valor said:
You're an evil lunatic. You pop in the Harry Potter verse and wilfully allow a mad wizard to continue his megalomaniac reign of mass murder. Sure, that's okay, I guess? Then you allow Harry to be raised in the cupboard under the stairs. Just lol! Crazy!

Bending over backwards to 'keep things canon' when you're a God, and allowing such child abuse is, well. What a monster, yeah?

If Havelock hadn't been an omniscient and omnipotent God then it wouldn't be that big a deal, but, well, he's all-powerful.

Still, this is only a wank-gary stue-fic so it isn't supposed to be taken too seriously?
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Okay. Did you read where I said 'don't be a dick about it' ? That applies not just to that one guy, but also everyone in general. It's kind of an unwritten rule, and one you should know by now, given your post count.

If you're up to asking questions and making comments politely, I'll be more than happy to answer them. Until then, I would appreciate you remaining quiet so that I don't have to get a mod in here to stop you shitposting.

ssammakko said:
Makes kinda wonder how Havelock avoided getting set as Hokage. Flee on site order and yellow flashes right hand guy does give some reliability. Liked DC part better.
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Basically? Flat out told the council 'fuck no.' I, and thus he, have/has no interest in a position of leadership. I prefer to do my own thing, and too much responsibility would hamper that. Being an S-Rank ninja is a sweet spot in regards to that - strong enough that those nominally above you will tolerate quite a lot of free-spiritedness because it's a worthwhile tradeoff for your strength.
 
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The multiverse sort of invalidates anything but subjective value though, sure he could rescue Harry but he's not limited to one universe so from his perspective any benefit is a fraction of infinity.
 
Rokoran said:
"You are such anidiot, Naruto! Havelock Cobalt was the Yondaime's right hand, and the first shinobi in history to be rated flee-on-sight - one of only two, the other of whom was the Yondaime himself! He's history's greatest ninjutsu specialist! The only man in the world who can use all five elements like a master!Without handseals!We hadthree lessonson him! How do younot know this?!"
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If this were an introduction to a character in a Naruto fic, this would be such a godawful gary-stu. But we know that he's actually a giant magical spacewhale, so no problem. Also, you need to put some more spaces in around your italics.

Rokoran said:
No, seriously. The average blood volume here is about fifteen litres, highly pressurised via natural chakra bullshit of some kind or other. The first time I had a medical checkup, the med-nin freaked, which was pretty entertaining, though it was also a pain to convince them I was fine and that it was natural for me. There was a permanent note in my medical file now, but there'd still been a couple of incidents where some delicate membranes got ruptured thanks to some bungling idiot using the Blood Replenishment Technique on me too much and I had to heal myself after being healed.
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Little details like this make a story enjoyable. I liked this tiny introspection the most out of the entire snippet.

As for the batman snip, I enjoyed the power interactions. Having things capable of sensing and reacting to him make for cool plot-hooks and bring a sort of realism to his actions; even just existing has measurable effects. DC is one of those universes that could've given a real fight to a normal spacewhale, but the "broken limiter" thing kinda nullifies all that unless some real weird stuff gets involved.
 
Rokoran said:
Wow. I didn't know it waspossibleto look that smug.

"... Who?"

Whack. I was going to have to break her of that habit soon enough.

"You are such anidiot, Naruto! Havelock Cobalt was the Yondaime's right hand, and the first shinobi in history to be rated flee-on-sight - one of only two, the other of whom was the Yondaime himself! He's history's greatest ninjutsu specialist! The only man in the world who can use all five elements like a master!Without handseals!We hadthree lessonson him! How do younot know this?!"

"Ehehe... I kinda wasn't here that week?"

"Argh! You areimpossible!"
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You need spaces by the italics.

Ninja'd.
 
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