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Monster Musume Host Quest: Your Life with Monstergirls

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[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
You know what? Fuck it.

[X] Bring Clyde.
[X] Bring Zophar.
[X] Bring Honey.

He probably deserves this and it would be hilarious to watch him sweat.
 
[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
Kaelor said:
"If it hadn't been this, it would have been something else. The Board is xenophobic as a rule, and you guys are a 'xeno' as it gets. In a way, we got lucky."
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[Insert reference to Imperium of Man here]
Kaelor said:
Was a black and white creature, near meadow. Had sharp claws, teeth. Did not like when others entered hole it slept in," the slime recounts. "Would attack them. Only I could enter. Could not hurt me."
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Was the "black and white creature" a skunk?
Kaelor said:
"No," answers the slime simply. "I have nothing."
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That is sad. I hope we can call Agent Jones later to see if the stuff they were going to give Honey is still around. She needs a poncho at the very least.
Kaelor said:
Some of them. Other things are to help you," you explain. "For example, if it was raining, the coverings they offered you would have helped keep you from getting so wet."

"Clothes?" Honey asks, apparently remembering the correct name, and you nod. "Your...clothes. Protection?"
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Good lord, Datcord have a field day with this line. :rofl:
 
[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
[X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.
 
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Part 1.15
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    • The Laurent said:
    Does the badger give a shit? :V
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    Please. Everyone knows Honey's badger don't care. It just takes what it wants! :lol

    [X] Bring Clyde. You'll need some muscle, and you don't actually know where they put all the sticks they collected.


    "You and Honey stay here," you tell Zophar, using the distraction to let yourself out of the slime's empty room without interference. "I'll grab Clyde and be back in a couple of minutes."

    "Hey, we were the ones who collected all that stuff," the arachne objects. "We can help!"

    Glancing momentarily at Honey, who merely seems bemused by all the antics, you turn away and whisper up to Zophar.

    "From the impression I got of this guy on the phone, he's not exactly the most politically correct person, or the most intelligent," you explain quietly. "I really don't want to find out what he'd say if he got a look at Honey, and considering how Georgia's still out of it, I'd rather not leave her unsupervised."

    "So how come I have babysit?" Zophar asks, annoyed.

    "First, because I figured you'd rather be here than down there hauling sticks. Second, because if things go sideways Clyde will just knock the asshole out." You glance pointedly at Zophar's claws. "You'd put him in the hospital."

    "I can control myself!"

    "I still don't want to put you in a position where you have to just let yourself be insulted or risk getting deported. If I could, I'd do it all myself. Unfortunately, that would take a while and we don't have all night, so I'm going to need some help. Clyde likes this sort of stuff and he's pretty thick-skinned, so I'm taking him."

    "Taking me where, doc?" asks the brawny man, clopping down the hall in search of the commotion. "This got anything to do with the truck that's honkin' in your drive?"

    "It's here to pick up the last of the debris," you say with a grim expression. "Unfortunately, the man driving it is probably going to be...difficult."

    "Eh, shouldn't be a problem. You should see what some of those meathead warmbloods are like," Clyde says with a chuckle as you lead the way down the stairs, leaving Zophar to figure out some way of keeping Honey busy. "I've got a thick skin."

    "To be honest, it's not your skin I'm worried about," you relate as you walk. "'Jim-Bob' used some interesting words to refer to my gender and heritage when we spoke on the phone, and I fear he's likely to make several more before the night is up."

    "Worried you're gonna slug him, Doc?"

    "No. I'm worried you will."

    Clyde seems somewhat surprised by this, but you feel you've gotten a pretty good read on him based on how he reacted to Georgia's little emergency. He struck you as the sort of man who'd take even the worst verbal attack on himself with nothing but a smile, only to immediately come out swinging if someone insulted his friends. You press on.

    "This guy probably doesn't know it, but if you so much as lay a hand on him you'll be arrested and shipped home," you remind the centaur firmly. "I need you to promise that no matter what he says to either of us, you won't do anything."

    He chuckles again.

    "I read ya, Doc. I'm not Zophar, I can roll with the punches. Even if it means letting some lowlife get away with insultin' a lady," he agrees. "Nice to know you think I'm chivalrous enough to pick a fight even if it'd get me kicked out though. Makes me feel all knightly."

    The comment strikes you as odd, but you're already at the door, so there's no time to ask about it. Walking out into the cool night air, you are immedately confronted with a enormous rusty beast of a truck.The peeling paint job is a hunter's camouflage pattern, and two enormous Confederate flags are bolted just behind the cab. The entire vehicle has been jacked up and the tires switched out so it closer resembles a monster truck than a pickup, and when you glance to the rear you find that Jim-Bob has indeed completed the full set of redneck accessories. A pair of large metal testicles hangs obscenely from the truck's trailer hitch, along with a number of dirty bumper stickers with slogans like "Gun Control Means Using Both Hands" and "Cat: The Other White Meat." You are suddenly very thankful you left Zophar behind, there was no way he'd have let this monstrosity pass without comment.

    "There ya are, Princess! What took ya, I been honkin'!" called a voice from the driver's seat, and a smelly man in a stained wife-beater and ripped jeans almost tumbles out of the truck. You can't help but notice he smells strongly of cheap beer. "Now, were are those-"

    His words die in his throat as Clyde ducks under the door frame behind you to literally tower over him.

    "Jim-Bob!" the centaur exclaims, grabbing the stunned man's hand and shaking it firmly. "Doc told me about ya. Name's Clyde, I'm gonna be staying here for a while. Gotta say, that's a hell of a truck ya got here!"

    "Like it, huh?" Jim-Bob replies, Clyde's friendly assault and exaggerated accent apparently overcoming his shock at seeing a liminal for the first time. "Put a lot of work into her! Did the entire paint job by hand!"

    "It shows!" agrees Clyde, and if you hadn't been paying attention you would have completely missed the double-meaning behind his words. "Always wanted a truck myself. Sure woulda made my life a lot easier, let me tell ya! Too bad for me I got a horse stuck on my ass!"

    Jim-Bob laughs, slapping Clyde on one muscular flank.

    "Ya know, ah never liked havin' no freaks trying to horn in on us, but yer alright, Clyde! Call me JB!" You hide your flinch at his comment, but the centaur doesn't react at all. "Get ya a beer?"

    "Well, my pappy always told me, 'never turn down a man offering free beer!'" replies Clyde, eliciting another laugh.

    "Smart man, yer pappy!" He passes Clyde a can and opens one himself with a crack and a hiss. He seems to have almost completely forgotten you were here. "Cheers!"

    The centaur opens his own can and easily drains the entire thing in a single long pull before crushing the empty container casually in one hand.

    "Ah, that's good," he comments, wiping some foam from his mouth as 'JB' looks on in surprise. "'Never work sober when you can work drunk!'"

    "That 'nother one from yer pappy?" JB asks with a broad smile.

    "Nah, that one's from Momma!"

    "Hot damn! Sounds like yer folks were a hoot an' a half! Love ta meet 'em!"

    "Well, Pappy'd be proud to meet any man still flying the old Stars and Bars, and so long as yer bringing the beer, Momma'd be likely to adopt ya!" jokes the centaur, sending JB into another gale of laughter. "Speakin' of that though, Pappy'd have my hide if he knew I was just shootin' the shit when there was work to be done. Got any way you want us to do this?"

    "Nah, just chuck it all in the back!"

    Clyde leads you and a slightly wobbly JB around the side of the house to where he'd apparently set out a large tarp and had the various sticks and bits of debris thrown into the middle. JB doesn't even have time to finish his first off-color story about his own parents before you and Clyde have the entire thing wrapped up and secured with bungee cords. The huge centaur hefts an entire side of the pile by himself, but JB waves you off when you move to take the opposite end.

    "This ain't no job fer a woman, princess. Ya might break a nail! Leave it to us men. If you want to be helpful, ya can go get another couple of beers from my cab!"

    He laughs, and you give serious thought to breaking considerably more than a nail. Clyde can't hurt him, but you sure can. You decide not to push it though, instead following along behind them as JB drunkenly attempts to hold his half as steady as Clyde's.

    After he almost spills the entire thing through his clumsiness, you slide in to grab part of it despite JB's protests, steadying it enough to easily get it to the truck. The intoxicated man is left standing on the sidelines as Clyde boosts you into the bed of the truck to help guide the bundle as the centaur lifts it. A clever bit of cooperation between the two of you lets you unhook the bungees and flip the tarp as you shove it in, freeing both but leaving the sticks behind.

    "See, what did ah tell ya'll! Didn't need no help at all!" JB slurs as you hop down into Clyde's broad hands and he deftly puts you back on the ground. "Women! Always thinkin' they know best! Am ah right?"

    "Thank you for you help," you state calmly, ignoring his jibe and toxic breath. You hate to let someone like him drive, but based on his newfound 'friendship' with Clyde you know the fool's only going to get drunker if you let him stay. Best to get him home while you still can. "I would invite you in, but I'm afraid I have work in the morning."

    "Lissen ta the princess! 'Ah have work!' All fancy like! Ya know, some people ain't so lucky!" drawls the man in irritation. "Country's goin' ta hell, wit all these illegals an' fags an' freaks runnin' around. Gotten so's an honest man can't get no job in this eco-namy, an' it ain't right ta go 'round rubbin' yer money in th' faces of th' less fortunate!"

    "Yeah, the Recession even hit my herd," Clyde says with a sage nod, somehow managing to agree without actually agreeing. "Gets harder every fer honest farmers like my folks to make a living, especially with all the machines they've got these days."

    "Damn right! Machines and Mexicans, takin' th' jobs of honest 'Mericans." In his ranting haze, he doesn't seem to notice that the centaur has carefully maneuvered him toward his truck, and happily begins climbing back in as though it had been his idea all along. He stumbles, but Clyde grabs the back of his shirt and boosts him into the seat easily. "Ya know, 'fer being half a man, yer good people Clyde!"

    "Well, to tell a secret there JB, I'm a lot more than just 'half' a man," the centaur replies, gesturing toward his lower half and smirking. For a second you don't get it, then your eyes fall on the metal dangling suggestively off the back of the truck and it clicks. JB seems to appreciate the dick joke though, bursting out into another round of guffaws.

    "Now I've got ta introduce ya ta th' rest o' th' boys!" he roars, slapping the side of the cab in merriment. "We'll be torchin' this shit at th' bonfire next weekend, consider yerself invited! Bring the princess if ya want, maybe some beer'll loosen her up!"

    He throws the truck into reverse and guns it, almost taking out your mailbox as he roars onto the road and drives away, completely ignoring the stop sign at the cul-de-sac's entrance. You sigh and pray he'll go straight home. It wasn't far, so he wouldn't be on the road long. You'd have felt insanely guilty about letting someone so obviously drunk onto the road, if it weren't obvious from his behavior that he drove like this all the time. Instead, you turn to Clyde, an inquisitive expression on your face.

    "So how much about your family was true?"

    "Just the part about Paw havin' my hide if he caught me slacking when there was work to be done. He wouldn't be caught dead flying one of those damn flags," he admits with a small smile, his accent softening again. "And I've never seen Maw never so much as touch a drop of alcohol. Though speaking of, Doc, you got a place I can ditch this?"

    He holds up the can he had crumpled before, and you point to a small recycling bin on the porch behind him.

    "Much obliged." He disposes of the can with a contemptuous toss, grimacing. "Tasted like watered-down piss, if you'll pardon my French."

    "Consider it pardoned," you laugh, leading the way back inside. As you walk back into the kitchen, however, you find a surprising sight: Georgia, out of bed and fully dressed in a neat blouse and long billowy skirt. Her head is wrapped in another of her decorative scarves, and her cheeks immediately explode into flame when she sees you.

    "GEORGIA!" Clyde bellows happily, galloping forward to wrap her in a hug. He seems completely oblivious to the look she had given you, instead focusing on crushing the life from the poor girl with his huge hug. The lamia makes several squeaking noises of pain, and he sheepishly releases her. "...ah, begging your pardon, miss. Guess I was so relieved to see you out and about again I kinda forgot my manners."

    "I-it's fine, Clyde," she answers, head bowed sheepishly. "Sorry for worrying you."

    "Got nothing to be sorry for, miss. Way I hear it, I owe you more than one for standing up for me like you did." He smiles proudly. "Heard it was a sight to see."

    "R-really? Um...w-what exactly did you hear?" Georgia stammered fearfully, her face snapping to you and her golden eyes widening. You feel the paralysis setting in but blink firmly before it can take hold, and when you open your eyes again her gaze is meekly focused on your feet.

    "Just that you talked circles around those assholes even though you were scared to death," you supply helpfully, so she will know her secrets are safe. "Everyone was pretty worried when I told them you were taking a nap to relax after what you went through, but I'm glad you did. You look a lot better."

    "Not sure I feel it..." she admits with a weak smile. She opens her mouth to say more, but then glances at Clyde and closes it again. The centaur seems to pick up on her edgy behavior, but thankfully misinterprets the cause. He backs up a few steps with an apologetic smile.

    "Ah, sorry again for getting in your space like that. I was just so happy to see you back I didn't think," he admits ruefully. "I'll, ah, I'll just go upstairs and finish my unpacking. Let Doc warm you up some food."

    "Thank you, Clyde," Georgia says to the retreating centaur in a serious voice. "I...thank you."

    He doesn't seem to know how to respond to that, eventually deciding to just nod energetically and trot briskly toward the stairs. His departure leaves you and Georgia alone again, and an oppressive silence sets in almost immediately.

    "Um..." you start, before realizing you don't know what to say. You change tactics. "Hungry? We saved you dinner."

    "Oh! Yes please," Georgia answers, far too quickly for the words to be natural. You can't help but notice she's started to blush again.

    Silence sets in as you pull out her leftovers and place them in the microwave. To your surprise, Georgia apparently decides to take the initiative the moment you finish programming in the reheating time.

    "Ah, about...about before..." she starts, her voice fading into a blush so intense you could probably see it from orbit. "I-I was thinking maybe w-w-we could just pretend that whole thing never happened?"


    [ ] "It's already forgotten." You'd hate to let something like this interfere with your friendship. It would be best to put it behind you and start from a clean slate!

    [ ] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.

    [ ] "Actually...I was hoping you'd remember it." Some of your most treasured memories are of your family taking care of you when you were the one puking and soiling yourself. You'd like Georgia to have those sorts of memories too...because as far as you're concerned, she's family.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Clyde, you are too awesome.

    I mean that literally, you are so awesome we're going to spend less time on you so we can focus on everyone else's problems. Even though you probably still have problems that need help.
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.

    Clyde is awesome and he dealt with that redneck with no problem! :D
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.
     
    Kaelor said:
    "Consider it pardoned," you laugh, leading the way back inside. As you walk back into the kitchen, however, you find a surprising sight: Georgia, out of bed and fully dressed in a neat blouse and long billowy skirt. Her head is wrapped in another of her decorative scarves, and her cheeks immediately explode into flame when she sees you.
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    Huh. I didn't expect Georgia to recover fast enough to have dinner. I think she's in her pajamas right now.
    Kaelor said:
    "GEORGIA!" Clyde bellows happily, galloping forward to wrap her in a hug. He seems completely oblivious to the look she had given you, instead focusing on crushing the life from the poor girl with his huge hug. The lamia makes several squeaking noises of pain, and he sheepishly releases her. "...ah, begging your pardon, miss. Guess I was so relieved to see you out and about again I kinda forgot my manners."
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    BEAR HUG GREETING INITIATED!
    Kaelor said:
    "Ah, about...about before..." she starts, her voice fading into a blush so intense you could probably see it from orbit. "I-I was thinking maybe w-w-we could just pretend that whole thing never happened?"
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    Speaking from experience, pretending that something embarrassing or upsetting didn't happen never works. You only end up remembering what happened as soon as you see the person or people involved, and you'll fight yourself to not discuss it.

    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?"

    I'm surprised there isn't an apology option. I suppose that'll just happen naturally?
     
    [X] "It's already forgotten." You'd hate to let something like this interfere with your friendship. It would be best to put it behind you and start from a clean slate!
     
    [X] "If that would make you comfortable, but...why?" Sure it was embarrassing and awkward, but life is full of awkward and embarrassing moments. You'd know: you've got more than a few embarrassing stories of your own to tell! Really, it's just something silly to laugh about between friends.
     
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