Inverted Fractal (Yuno II)
In another time, past or future…
It's been less than a week or so since my mother died. Thrusting myself into my studies hasn't done much to help. My pencil hovers over the blank sheet of paper. Not a dot nor scribble to be found. It feels like I'm cursed with an almost terminal lethargy. I'd rather shrivel up and die than continue living like this.
Actually, no,
living isn't how I would describe this.
Existing.
I haven't eaten anything in over a day, and what I did eat couldn't be called a meal. I feel like I'm one bad day from becoming a corpse. Ironically, I'm at the lunch table with an open book in front of me instead of a meal. I don't have the appetite for knowledge or actual food, yet I'm here. Why?
"Amatani?" Yuno calls out to me. A girl who began speaking to me after my mother died. We share the same class, but she's never approached me before now.
"Y-yeah? What's up?" I stare more at the open air between us than at her face.
"You look sick. Are you eating well?"
"Yeah, I think."
She narrows her eyes. A boxed lunch hits the table. It flips open, revealing what could be described as your basic bento box. Nothing extravagant, save for an extra helping of rice. Evenly spread lettuce, a bit of chicken and some carrots. "Do you want some?" She asks, holding out a pair of unused chopsticks.
"No." I can't look her in the eye. "No, thanks."
"If you don't eat, you'll get sick."
"Good."
I don't have it in me to carry on a conversation. I'd rather she just got up and walked away. I'm part of a Death Game, so I'm probably going to die regardless of whether or not it's self-inflicted. Dying is a scary thought, and so is ending your own life. I don't want to, but I can't say I have much motivation to keep going either.
"Why is that
good?" Yuno asks, staring straight at me.
"Because I've got nothing left." My pencil rolls to the center of the table as I rest my head on my notebook.
"So that's why you were chosen." Yuno whispers into my ear.
Chosen? So, she's a part of it too. How did she
know? I haven't exactly been shouting this from the rooftops.
It didn't matter. If the grim reaper was going to come to me in the form of a cute, pink-haired girl; I wasn't going to complain.
"Oh, that saves me some trouble." I don't feel any fear. I'm too tired for fear or anxiety. I just want to sleep. "So, going to do the deed here? Or do you want to wait till after school?"
Yuno doesn't respond. She simply looks at me. There's no hostility, no killing intent, and of course, no pity. "What are you fighting for?"
"Nothing. I don't get a wish, so there's no reason to bother." I hit my head on the table. "What about you?"
"Yukki."
"That makes sense. You've got someone worth fighting for."
The conversation distorts into static. My consciousness shifts forward, back into the familiar present.
[_] Tell her. Lay it on the table, try to negotiate a truce.
[_] Don't tell her. If she doesn't know and she's fishing on instinct, don't play into her hands.
[_] Play dumb. Not likely to succeed, but it's still an option to consider.
[_] Custom