- Location
- Helsinki, Mother´s sofa
He is lucky that Tanya wont seriously consider doing both, on account of her being so hardworking and paranoid.
Mein Krieg (Youjo Senki/Tanya the Evil OC)
- Thread starter Trunko
- Start date
-
- Tags
- youjo senki
He is lucky that Tanya wont seriously consider doing both, on account of her being so hardworking and paranoid.
- Location
- Oceanside
Marrying him is actually a fairly likely possibility. Tanya is exactly the type of person to think "easy ride with a 'sugar-daddy' I can trust".
Tanya was (obliviously) the most annoyed by that
Trunko
Dissatisfied writer
- Location
- Milan, Italy
Thank you fixed!
JuliusClonkus
Scatterbrained Speculator
- Location
- Federal Reichspublic of Karlsland
The two Isekai'd people, united in their desire to just have an easy time and avoid the usual annoying responsibilities of living in that particular time.
And, depending on how significant the mental contamination plot point gets, two deranged religious fanatics bound together in their dream of destroying the enemies of the Fatherland in His Name.
Speaking of, if either one of the two does *not* go full overdrive with the inevitable super-computation orb when the other one does, I imagine that person will notice the serious breach-of-character, considering the mutual private contempt for Being X.
And I'm more intrigued by what's going to happen then. Screw the shipping, the psychology behind the mental contamination is what intrigues me more. Is Salaryman!Tanya being rewritten into a fanatic, or is Original!Tanya breaking through?
Renko
Look closer ~☆
- Location
- The Endless Void
I tried.
I tried to like this story.
But I just can't see this König character as nothing more than a some sort of Tanya 2.0 and a lackey!
The character just follow Tanya's ideas as if he got nothing of his own.
He's just following her around!
The same attitude towards people, the same motivations, the same ideas.....
He's like a f#cking carbon copy!
Maybe him being in the same orphanage in the same country is a bad idea.
I thought this was going to be the same as that other SI fic at SB.
At least that one got the MC to change things around.....
I tried to like this story.
But I just can't see this König character as nothing more than a some sort of Tanya 2.0 and a lackey!
The character just follow Tanya's ideas as if he got nothing of his own.
He's just following her around!
The same attitude towards people, the same motivations, the same ideas.....
He's like a f#cking carbon copy!
Maybe him being in the same orphanage in the same country is a bad idea.
I thought this was going to be the same as that other SI fic at SB.
At least that one got the MC to change things around.....
Trunko
Dissatisfied writer
- Location
- Milan, Italy
Thank you for your point of view. This is something that I had thought about too, and which I intended to develop later.
Also, if you have any idea you would like to share with us, you're welcome...
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Renko
Look closer ~☆
- Location
- The Endless Void
Like I said before, maybe him (SI MC) being reincarnated in the same orphanage in the same country as Tanya is a bad idea.
If Being X want to show both of them the experience of being in «dire straits», why did he let both of them be put in the same place?
Wouldn't it be better to separate the two of them in two different locations or countries?
Them being in the same place means they will just support each other to overcome the situation that Being X put them in.
Also, the SI's thoughts are like nothing more but compliments to Tanya's own mindset. Without Tanya, he is nothing!
He has no agency of his own and he just let Tanya do all the big plans and just roll with it!
What is this? Are we reading about a sidekick?
I was expecting the SI to be a bit different when it comes to his attitude towards certain people.
The scene with the nuns was....
He didn't even appreciate that they are doing everything they can n shield them from the horrors of war.
Yat the SI just brushed it off and spouted his BS patriotic speech so he can join the army.
The SI is becoming an a##hole because of Tanya's influence.
The drawing in the front is nice but it's also misleading from what I've read so far.
It should have been Tanya in the front with the SI sulking in the corner!
- Location
- Canada
I for one enjoy this story, though I do admit that the SI doesn't do enough on his own.
If I was writing it he would have been in either (Russia) or (Britain) depending on whether I wanted him to suffer or not. His personality is also better suited for those.
Either way I still enjoy where it's going at the moment, he just needs to get out from Tanya's shadow.
If I was writing it he would have been in either (Russia) or (Britain) depending on whether I wanted him to suffer or not. His personality is also better suited for those.
Either way I still enjoy where it's going at the moment, he just needs to get out from Tanya's shadow.
NuclearBird
More issues than Reader's Digest
- Location
- Here and There
I don't want to spoil it for you guys, but I've been talking with Trunko about this very issue and I'm helping him with it by advising him on character development, among other assistances.
Trunko
Dissatisfied writer
- Location
- Milan, Italy
Dear Renko,
I have analyzed your point of view and prepared an adequate response:
I understand that putting Frederick in the same orphanage as Tanya was a little … foregone, but it was necessary because, if I put him in a different orphanage in Russia or Britain, then he and Tanya would have never met, obliviously, and therefore Frederick would have never joined the military as well. This way, we would have a story about a young bystander with a very different destiny.
Therefore, I decided to start the story from the same starting point of Tanya for three different reasons:
I admit that, to this point, the SI has not shown a very own agenda, but this is due the fact that, from his point of view, the best policy for now is stick with Tanya until he figures out a plan of his own. Moreover, he does not contest Tanya's authority yet because he knows that is a very dangerous thing to do, and he wants to have an incident-proof plan before acting of his own.
However, if you have ideas about how to make the character more independent, I will be happy to hear them.
This was one of the plot point of the story. I was imagining that:
The drawing also has hidden a very important Chekhov gun/easter egg. Nobody has noticed it yet?
I have analyzed your point of view and prepared an adequate response:
I understand that putting Frederick in the same orphanage as Tanya was a little … foregone, but it was necessary because, if I put him in a different orphanage in Russia or Britain, then he and Tanya would have never met, obliviously, and therefore Frederick would have never joined the military as well. This way, we would have a story about a young bystander with a very different destiny.
Therefore, I decided to start the story from the same starting point of Tanya for three different reasons:
- I wanted to show and analyze the other aspect of the Empire's society that were not shown in the anime.
- In addition, Tanya's influence was the only way Frederick could be convinced into doing some things that otherwise he would have never done.
- Finally, the most important one, Frederick presence is influencing Tanya as well! Maybe it was not evident enough, but Tanya's character is a little different from her canonical counterpart and the difference keeps growing. I was unable to show this only because I have not yet written an omake to show this from Tanya's POV.
I admit that, to this point, the SI has not shown a very own agenda, but this is due the fact that, from his point of view, the best policy for now is stick with Tanya until he figures out a plan of his own. Moreover, he does not contest Tanya's authority yet because he knows that is a very dangerous thing to do, and he wants to have an incident-proof plan before acting of his own.
However, if you have ideas about how to make the character more independent, I will be happy to hear them.
This was one of the plot point of the story. I was imagining that:
Frederick will later realize that Tanya's actions are affecting him in a very negative way, and will strive to find a third way to act.
The drawing also has hidden a very important Chekhov gun/easter egg. Nobody has noticed it yet?
Renko
Look closer ~☆
- Location
- The Endless Void
@Trunko
Look.
I'll just stop reading and wait until your story get to the point where everything improves. From its current plontline, I don't think I have any motivation to read any further.
Also, I apologize if my criticism/rant is offending to you and your resders.
Good luck writing I guess.
Look.
I'll just stop reading and wait until your story get to the point where everything improves. From its current plontline, I don't think I have any motivation to read any further.
Also, I apologize if my criticism/rant is offending to you and your resders.
Good luck writing I guess.
- Location
- Netherlands
So, an old rich dude is preparing himself as the adopted grandfather of Frederick... I have a few ways things can go well - which should be understood in a fanfiction context. Here, the word "well" stands for "something explosive, preferable served with horseshit and curses".
- The company has an investment in Type 95 Orb, and Fred was Test Pilot Alpha-1
- The old dude somehow is able to spike Fred with alcohol, and Fred rambles about possible tactics and solutions to break the static warfare
- Something about propaganda and photos - remember the cannon Tanya with a fancy dress?
NuclearBird
More issues than Reader's Digest
- Location
- Here and There
I want to respond to your speculation, I really do. Sadly, that would be a massive spoiler.
Chapter 17: Reassigned…for Science!
Trunko
Dissatisfied writer
- Location
- Milan, Italy
Chapter 17: Reassigned…for Science!
Military Garrison 1, Imperial Army Northern Teather, the Empire
20 June, Unified Year 1923
Military Garrison 1, Imperial Army Northern Teather, the Empire
20 June, Unified Year 1923
"Tanya?" I asked nervously, "Where do you think we will get reassigned?"
"I do not know," she said in her usual caustic tone "We are young heroes of the Empire, though. In all likelihood, they will send us to the Rhine front. New meat for the grinder."
My face contorted in an expression of pain as I tried to imagine how the Rhine would be like.
Six months had gone since the day we received our Silver Wings, and our once-serious wounds were now healed or in remission. We could walk and run again, same with levitation or flight. We still could not resume active service, but that was just a matter of days.
During this time, many things had happened: according to the information available through military bulletins and anecdotes from those returning from the front, the war would not be ending soon. On the Rhine, as well as in the North our positions and our respective enemies (the Republic and the Entente) were now stalled. Every day from one side to the other, there were assaults and counter-attacks that determined the conquest or loss of this or that position, but it seemed clear that these small actions of war would not determine victory.
In this situation, victory would have gone to the front that had the most resources available, the greatest number of soldiers and who would wear themselves out less than the other. The winner would be the nation that, at the end of this conflict, was still standing while the others would collapse.
In our old world, this was what had sealed the defeat of Germany. While the Allied forces could rely on the resources of an entire planet (mostly thanks to the major development of their colonial empires and fleets), Germany and its allies had to rely on the few resources available within their own borders, without the possibility of obtaining supplies from other neutral nations thanks to the enemy's naval blockade.
And now, the Empire's situation was practically the same: while the Republic and the Entente could supply themselves abundantly through maritime trade routes or their colonies overseas, the Empire was practically dependent from the resources that came from the Federation to the east and from the Kingdom of Ildoa and the Principality of Dacia to the south, through those few commercial routes that had not yet been blocked.
The main commercial routes, those that passed the ports of the Allied Kingdom (the local equivalent of the UK, a rich and powerful nation that now, however, preferred to live in isolation like a sleeping giant who refuses to fight) were closed at the time, due to the fact that the Empire, although having greater technological superiority, could not guarantee the safety of its convoys yet.
For this very reason, the Empire was highly interested in developing and strengthening the infrastructure of its territory, to guarantee the faster and more efficient collection and processing of resources. One thing that the Berun industrialists like Mr. Gegenbauer were quite taken with.
I grinded my teeth in rage at the thought of Mr. Gegenbauer and his fake promises.
After my little "meeting" with him, I was tempted to explode in happiness and tell Tanya everything that had happened. I was tempted to tell her how, by pure surprise, I had discovered that I was linked to one of the richest industrialists in Berun and that our fortune would soon turn for the better.
I was tempted to tell her everything, but I refrained from it.
I was so happy that when I returned to my hospital bed, I decided right then and there to make Tanya a surprise and reveal what had happened only when Mr. Gegenbauer had come back to get us.
For ten days, I waited calmly, waiting for the moment when the door would open. Waiting for Mr. Gegenbauer to enter, to welcome me and Tanya as an integral part of his family.
However, after a month of waiting I had surrender to reality: Mr. Gegenbauer would not return.
I did not know why. Maybe he had suddenly changed his mind or maybe he too, like his son in his time, had suffered a serious accident. But I knew: in the end, he would not come back.
Luckily, Tanya knew nothing: if she had known even for a fraction of a second that I had been on the verge of finding home and family for both of us, she would have teased me until the day of my death.
"Let's hope not." I said, trying to keep the tone of my voice low enough that no one could listen in on us.
Finally, after traveling the long corridor we arrived in front of the commander's office.
Mentally, I scrubbed my uniform in search of any untidy element that could put me in a bad light.
Boots? Polished. Pants and jacket? Absolutely devoid of stains or tears. Hat? Clean and tidy. Medal…
For a few seconds I paused to look at the medal I had earned with so much terror and sacrifice. Truly, it was beautiful and in a militarized society like the one I now lived in a merit decoration was better than a certificate of efficiency, but every time I looked at it I felt a strange sensation, like an imminent threat or near danger.
Maybe it was like that, but I would not have known until it was too late.
"Are you ready?" Tanya asked to me, moving her hand over the door to knock on it.
"I hope so." I responded, still in my thoughts.
"I do not know," she said in her usual caustic tone "We are young heroes of the Empire, though. In all likelihood, they will send us to the Rhine front. New meat for the grinder."
My face contorted in an expression of pain as I tried to imagine how the Rhine would be like.
Six months had gone since the day we received our Silver Wings, and our once-serious wounds were now healed or in remission. We could walk and run again, same with levitation or flight. We still could not resume active service, but that was just a matter of days.
During this time, many things had happened: according to the information available through military bulletins and anecdotes from those returning from the front, the war would not be ending soon. On the Rhine, as well as in the North our positions and our respective enemies (the Republic and the Entente) were now stalled. Every day from one side to the other, there were assaults and counter-attacks that determined the conquest or loss of this or that position, but it seemed clear that these small actions of war would not determine victory.
In this situation, victory would have gone to the front that had the most resources available, the greatest number of soldiers and who would wear themselves out less than the other. The winner would be the nation that, at the end of this conflict, was still standing while the others would collapse.
In our old world, this was what had sealed the defeat of Germany. While the Allied forces could rely on the resources of an entire planet (mostly thanks to the major development of their colonial empires and fleets), Germany and its allies had to rely on the few resources available within their own borders, without the possibility of obtaining supplies from other neutral nations thanks to the enemy's naval blockade.
And now, the Empire's situation was practically the same: while the Republic and the Entente could supply themselves abundantly through maritime trade routes or their colonies overseas, the Empire was practically dependent from the resources that came from the Federation to the east and from the Kingdom of Ildoa and the Principality of Dacia to the south, through those few commercial routes that had not yet been blocked.
The main commercial routes, those that passed the ports of the Allied Kingdom (the local equivalent of the UK, a rich and powerful nation that now, however, preferred to live in isolation like a sleeping giant who refuses to fight) were closed at the time, due to the fact that the Empire, although having greater technological superiority, could not guarantee the safety of its convoys yet.
For this very reason, the Empire was highly interested in developing and strengthening the infrastructure of its territory, to guarantee the faster and more efficient collection and processing of resources. One thing that the Berun industrialists like Mr. Gegenbauer were quite taken with.
I grinded my teeth in rage at the thought of Mr. Gegenbauer and his fake promises.
After my little "meeting" with him, I was tempted to explode in happiness and tell Tanya everything that had happened. I was tempted to tell her how, by pure surprise, I had discovered that I was linked to one of the richest industrialists in Berun and that our fortune would soon turn for the better.
I was tempted to tell her everything, but I refrained from it.
I was so happy that when I returned to my hospital bed, I decided right then and there to make Tanya a surprise and reveal what had happened only when Mr. Gegenbauer had come back to get us.
For ten days, I waited calmly, waiting for the moment when the door would open. Waiting for Mr. Gegenbauer to enter, to welcome me and Tanya as an integral part of his family.
However, after a month of waiting I had surrender to reality: Mr. Gegenbauer would not return.
I did not know why. Maybe he had suddenly changed his mind or maybe he too, like his son in his time, had suffered a serious accident. But I knew: in the end, he would not come back.
Luckily, Tanya knew nothing: if she had known even for a fraction of a second that I had been on the verge of finding home and family for both of us, she would have teased me until the day of my death.
"Let's hope not." I said, trying to keep the tone of my voice low enough that no one could listen in on us.
Finally, after traveling the long corridor we arrived in front of the commander's office.
Mentally, I scrubbed my uniform in search of any untidy element that could put me in a bad light.
Boots? Polished. Pants and jacket? Absolutely devoid of stains or tears. Hat? Clean and tidy. Medal…
For a few seconds I paused to look at the medal I had earned with so much terror and sacrifice. Truly, it was beautiful and in a militarized society like the one I now lived in a merit decoration was better than a certificate of efficiency, but every time I looked at it I felt a strange sensation, like an imminent threat or near danger.
Maybe it was like that, but I would not have known until it was too late.
"Are you ready?" Tanya asked to me, moving her hand over the door to knock on it.
"I hope so." I responded, still in my thoughts.
"Second Lieutenants Tanya Degurechaff and Frederick König, here are your deployment orders." General von Klügmann said as he handed us the envelope, the contents of which would decide our fates.
"Thank you sir." I said taking it and starting to read it.
Please not on the front lines; please not on the front lines… I mentally thought as my eyes focused on the words in front of me.
…
What?
"T-the Tactical Instructor squad, back home?" I said, with an equal mix of shock and surprise.
I looked around. Tanya was staring at me with big eyes now, as even she could not understand what I had just said. General von Klügmann, on the other hand, judging by his expression, was not particularly impressed.
"Only someone who has accomplished as much as earning the Silver Wings could be assigned to an instruction unit at yours ages," said Klügmann with an emotionless face.
Inside, I was smirking. If we had been transferred to an instruction unit away from the front line, our plan could be said to be concluded. Far from the dangers and discomfort of the front, the first of which was the risk of being killed in battle. We could wait for the end of the war without worrying too much about what would happen.
Was it possible that Tanya's plan had worked?
"Sir" Tanya started on her response, "This is an honor, but…"
"Are you dissatisfied?" The General said looking at both of us, "If you have a problem with it, I can pass it on."
Tanya, you idiot! I mentally screamed, while trying to keep my composure.
"No!" she suddenly responded, "We are both grateful for this incredible honor. But this is a position in the rear. Some might say we aren't getting much done there."
The General let out another smoke-filled breath, putting a strain on my nostrils. "Do not worry about it, both of you. Even if you are both aces, deploying you to the front lines would be very bad for our image."
"That settles it, then!" I said, no more staying quiet. "Deployment orders received."
"Very well" the General speak once again "Then you both head to the General Supply Staff."
"Is this for technology testing, sir?" Tanya asked, her emotionless face hiding her obvious happiness.
"Yes. They want new mages to test a new type of computational jewel."
"Sir" I raised my hand "Can I ask more information about this new jewel?"
The General looked away for a second. "Unfortunately, all I have been told is that it is a prototype. You will receive new information as soon as you will speak with the scientist in charge of the project, Development Chief Engineer Adelheid von Schugel."
"I...I understand, sir! Thank you!"
"Just one little thing…"
Both Tanya and I stood still as the general said that.
"Second Lieutenant König, I have something I need to discuss with you. Second Lieutenant Degurechaff, you may leave."
"Yes sir!" she said as she saluted. Then, she walked out of the door and closed it behind her.
I was alone.
"Sir?" I asked with nervousness "What do you wanted to ask me?"
The general took another puff from his cigarette "I wanted to talk with you about Lieutenant Degurechaff"
Really?
"For what reason, sir?"
"First of all, I would like to inform you about some things related to Lieutenant Degurechaff, and then I would like to ask your opinions about it. Finally, I want to you to promise something to me."
My mind was now racing, thinking to all the possible things the General wanted to tell me about. What would it be? For sure, things that Tanya did not have to hear and know.
"Inform me, sir? About what?"
The General looked at me. For a moment, I had the impression that he felt empathy for me. But only for a moment.
"How long have you and Degurechaff known each other?"
"From…from all my life, sir! We grew up in the same orphanage, and we have been friends since we met" I lied.
Technically, I was not lying about Tanya and I having known each other since we were young. But to say that we were friends...
"Indeed" the General said more soundly "What do you think of her?"
"Excuse me?"
"What do you think of your fellow comrade Degurechaff?"
"I…I believe she is a good friend, and an amazing soldier, ready to do her duty at all times in this great war of ours, sir!"
Now I was confused. What was the general trying to make me understand?
"I happened to read, looking at some old reports from your time at the Academy, that apparently Degurechaff was the protagonist of a traumatic accident to the detriment of some recruits during a training exercise, am I right?
Uh-oh, I thought as I sudden realized what the General was talking about. I remembered that day too well ...
"Tanya, what the hell are you trying to do? Kill him?"
"Frederick, get out of the way. I have to discipline a disobedient recruit."
"Are you damn insane?"
"Sir, I can assure to you that what happened that day was…"
"Fear not, young soldier. I am not here to reopen that old case, or put you and Degurechaff into trouble. Instead, I want to talk about your relationships."
I was stunned.
Relationship? With who?
Ever since I had the (mis)fortune to be reborn in this world, my only thought had been the study and improvement of my social position alongside Tanya. I had no time for…
Oh, wait! I suddenly thought as I started to realize it.
The General smirked. I knew he was pondering exactly what I was.
"Sir, I can absolute guarantee to you that the relationship between me and Degurechaff is only professional!"
"Only professional?" the general almost laughed "I'm pretty sure you heart is going to kill your brain for uttering such a sentence…"
"Sir, I-"
"Enough! You do not need to hide your feelings from me. I understand, Degurechaff is an amazing soldier, a model for everyone who fights for the Empire, She is also incredibly cute and someone beautiful like her… deserves the best."
I was quite shocked about how the situation was turning.
"Still, she remembers me the daughter I never had, and every time I watch I cannot stop thinking that she deserves to be happy. So," he said turning a little menacing, "you better be a good boyfriend for her and a better husband when you two will marry. Do you understand, soldier?"
"Y-yes sir!"
The General's face returned benevolent "Then it's settled: you can go."
"Eh, sir? Can I ask you a little questions before I go?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"I was thinking… why did the Tactical Instructor squad want both of us for their experiments? I mean, it's not that I'm protesting their decision… I just find it a little… strange."
"Me too." the General said, "But apparently, you made an impression so good that Development Chief Engineer Adelheid von Schugel wanted to have both of you. He personally contacted Strategic Headquarters to have you both transferred to his department."
"I understand. Then, I shall go…"
"Remember my words, soldier: keep an eye on Degurechaff! Always!"
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JuliusClonkus
Scatterbrained Speculator
- Location
- Federal Reichspublic of Karlsland
Yiiiikes.
That's fraternization. But the fic is going with the "nobody wants them on the frontlines" angle so...is this just for propaganda value?
Tanya's gonna blow a gasket anyhow.
But testing facility here we come! Type 95 here we go!
I'm honestly kind of terrified of Faithful!synergy between the two.
That's fraternization. But the fic is going with the "nobody wants them on the frontlines" angle so...is this just for propaganda value?
Tanya's gonna blow a gasket anyhow.
But testing facility here we come! Type 95 here we go!
I'm honestly kind of terrified of Faithful!synergy between the two.
Cybandeath
Lord Darkness, and Representative of Mad Science
- Location
- The United States of America
*Shipping Intensifies*
Oh boy, here we go
NuclearBird
More issues than Reader's Digest
- Location
- Here and There
I was getting the impression that the general thought it was cute and nothing serious, with his perception being colored by the two being children.
Also, propaganda, yes.
- Location
- Netherlands
Violation of Rule 6: This was fine until the last couple lines.
Meanwhile in the HQ...
General #1: I'm freaking tell you, the little boy will propose to the blondie in front of their men during the final inspection!
General #2: Are you sure? It's more like he will confess over a casual lunchbreak.
General #1: But that is NOT romantic! Boys at his age will try their best to be fluffy and romantic, only to have things break down at the end.
General #3: Personal experience, I presume?
General #1: Fuck you very much!
Aide #1: Good sires, I'm more inclined to believe that they will confess to each other right on the battlefield.
General #2: That's a death flag and you know that.
Aide #2: Or they will both try their best to hide their true feeling, maybe something like being good friends and good comrades instead.
General #3: To be fair, I did that with my wife...
Aide #3: And sire, was that how my cousin was born?
General #3: Yes, and his twin.
General #1: Non-sense! The blondie is too up-strung and the boy is too conservative for that!
Chief-of-Staff: Fuck you all! This is a fucking Office! We are fucking planning fucking an offen-fucking-sive operation, not fucking squabble over a fucking love story of our fucking subordinates, whom I might fucking say that are even fucking younger than our fucking grandchildren. Have you fucking guys have no fucking sense of shame? Go back to fucking work! Right fucking now!
...
...
...
Chief-of-Staff: Still, I'm betting 5 coins that Tanya will sneak into Fred's room at the night before the battle, and they will talk to each other, by both mouths and bodies, until morning.
General #1: I'm freaking tell you, the little boy will propose to the blondie in front of their men during the final inspection!
General #2: Are you sure? It's more like he will confess over a casual lunchbreak.
General #1: But that is NOT romantic! Boys at his age will try their best to be fluffy and romantic, only to have things break down at the end.
General #3: Personal experience, I presume?
General #1: Fuck you very much!
Aide #1: Good sires, I'm more inclined to believe that they will confess to each other right on the battlefield.
General #2: That's a death flag and you know that.
Aide #2: Or they will both try their best to hide their true feeling, maybe something like being good friends and good comrades instead.
General #3: To be fair, I did that with my wife...
Aide #3: And sire, was that how my cousin was born?
General #3: Yes, and his twin.
General #1: Non-sense! The blondie is too up-strung and the boy is too conservative for that!
Chief-of-Staff: Fuck you all! This is a fucking Office! We are fucking planning fucking an offen-fucking-sive operation, not fucking squabble over a fucking love story of our fucking subordinates, whom I might fucking say that are even fucking younger than our fucking grandchildren. Have you fucking guys have no fucking sense of shame? Go back to fucking work! Right fucking now!
...
...
...
Chief-of-Staff: Still, I'm betting 5 coins that Tanya will sneak into Fred's room at the night before the battle, and they will talk to each other, by both mouths and bodies, until morning.
you forgot to add, "Who aren't even fucking old enough to be fucking yet." to the above tirade. Besides, Boondocks Saints still did it better.
As for the chapter well... maybe with the two of them they can rein Schugel in? Okay stop laughing, it wasn't that funny. More to the point I hope that they can at least temper him a bit. He's usually pretty absurd and I have to wonder how the issue of one orb vs two testers goes.
- Location
- Texas
I really enjoy your writing, but the child romance and pet names are mildly off putting
NuclearBird
More issues than Reader's Digest
- Location
- Here and There
It's kind of meant to be an act, considering Tanya is involved...
- Location
- California
Nice fic you've got here, I like where it's going but maybe more butterflies?