Keiko's birthday party was drawing to a close. The gifts had been delivered, Pandā had been emphatically dismissed, the mysterious pet had been taken away in its armoured container, and most importantly, they were running out of cake. But there was one surprise still in store, and this one wasn't for Keiko.
"If I may have your attention, please," Keiko said. "I honestly would rather be doing this under different circumstances, if at all, but there is a case to be made that this is her celebration as well, and so..."
She put her hands together reluctantly. "Shadow Clone Technique!"
The hall fell completely silent.
The last time Keiko had used this technique, it had resulted in a brutal verbal beatdown that had left her practically catatonic, and it had taken triumph in the face of horrifying certain death to give Keiko the courage to face her loved ones again. For her to use it of her own free will on her birthday…
"Long time no see, people! Did you miss me?" came the completely un-Keiko-like greeting in Keiko's voice.
"Snowflake," Hazō said quietly.
The shadow clone stepped forward. Keiko watched her alertly.
"So I've got an apology to make," Snowflake said after a few seconds with a much more familiar awkwardness. "I may have overdone it a little when we first met. I guess that must have been pretty awful to see, and I didn't mean to catch any of you in the crossfire. Or rather, I didn't care, which is probably worse."
Hazō opened his mouth. Snowflake quickly raised a finger.
"Sorry, bro, but let me get this out. Kei's been neglecting Shadow Clone Technique training in favour of our girlfriend, which I guess I can't completely blame her for, but it does mean I haven't got long."
Snowflake took a deep breath.
"Thing is, being me—Snowflake me, not Kei me—isn't all it's cracked up to be."
She looked directly at him, as if taking him as a representative of the gathering.
"Imagine if your personality stayed the way it is now, but your memories magically got replaced with those of a Hazō who grew up in the Kurosawa Clan and bullied civilians every chance he got because that was the natural thing to do. You'd feel sick, right? Well, imagine what it's like to wake up as a healthy, normal person with proper agency, but every memory you have is telling you that you're a passive, helpless, useless little girl. Is it any wonder I wanted to hurt the person who made me feel that way?
"I can't accept those memories. I couldn't if I wanted to, because they're all tainted with the Frozen Skein, running through Kei's every thought and action like gleaming steel thread through a tapestry. I can't look at that and pretend those are the things I would have thought or said or done. And that… doesn't leave me with very much."
"We have an accord of sorts," Keiko said as Snowflake fell silent. "Snowflake requires additional personal experiences for the purposes of self-differentiation and development of identity. I have been providing these. She, in turn, has been cooperating with my daily activities rather than attempting to rebel against her creator."
"How does that work, exactly?" Hazō asked diplomatically, in lieu of explaining to all present exactly why what Snowflake was saying made no sense. "I mean, shadow clones don't have their own identities. Every time you use the technique, you create a new copy of who you are right now."
Snowflake shrugged. "Simple. Kei can't understand my thoughts, not all the way, because the Frozen Skein stops her from thinking the way I do. Recalling a memory means recreating it in your mind, and she can't recreate having initiative. That means there will always be parts of my memories that I can access but she can't. Memories that are special to me. Every time she uses the Shadow Clone Technique, she creates a person with the same unique memories, and they don't change just because she's had more experiences on her own since."
"It's still a new person," Hazō objected. "One Snowflake gets dispelled, and then later another one gets created."
Snowflake smirked. "And how does that make me different from you?"
"What?"
"Every night, someone with Hazō's memories goes to sleep. Every morning, someone with Hazō's memories wakes up. Sometimes, the Hazō who wakes up has new ideas the old one didn't. Sometimes he's come up with a solution to a problem the old one couldn't. Sometimes something that was really stressful for the old Hazō doesn't seem like a big deal to the new one. Who's to say that the body doesn't just hold on to the memories and generate a new Hazō from them whenever it wakes up?"
Hazō felt a fascinating philosophical debate coming on, but it was interrupted by a completely unexpected thought. Something about the rhythm of Snowflake's words was familiar in a way it shouldn't have been, given this was only their second meeting.
"Snowflake, is you not identifying with Keiko's memories the reason you're trying to talk like Ami?"
Snowflake froze. "What? I'm not—"
She stopped. After a few seconds, she looked down at the floor.
"Oh. Well. That sure explains a few things."
"Don't worry," Ami said sympathetically. "You get used to it."
Snowflake sighed. "Well, it beats talking like my dictionary-swallowing original there. Has Kei ever told you how unnerving your sudden bursts of insight can be sometimes?"
"Mostly she expresses disbelief at how dense I am," Hazō admitted. "I take it as her way of showing affection."
"Speaking of which," Snowflake turned away from him, "Big Sis, a personal thanks from me for the gloves. I already know how the three of—"
Snowflake disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"I believe all the salient points have been covered," Keiko said with finality. "Would anyone like Snowflake's share of the birthday cake?"
"But senseiiiiiii! I don' wanna do puffer practice today! I wanna go see Neji down at the Youth Church! He's so funny when he does those sermons. Pleeeeeassssee?"
"No." Kagome kept his voice firm. "You need to keep up with your studies. You don't want those stinking mean girls to catch up to you, do you?"
"No! No puffer practice! I want Neji! Neji, Neji, Neji!" She stomped her foot, and shook her fists in anger as tears started rolling down her cheeks.
Honoka had been out of sorts all day. His normally sweet and biddable student had turned into a whining, stomping, pouting demon child who had argued and fought every step of the way for no reason other than to be contrary. When pancakes were put in front of her at breakfast she had pushed them away and loudly announced that she wanted sausages and milk instead. When given sausages she had thrown them on the floor because 'they smell weird!' When her mother had tried to pick her up and take her to her room, Honoka had broken free with a (fortunately, poorly and incompletely executed) taijutsu move that Kagome recognized even if the civilian woman had not. It was at that point that he intervened, stepping between them and asking Aoi if it was all right for him to take Honoka to practice. Aoi had agreed with gratitude. He had bundled her into her sandals and training coat despite her best efforts, then whisked her out of the house.
Kagome glanced around to make sure that everyone else on the street was giving them a wide berth. Everyone was. No civilian wanted to be anywhere near an Academy student's ninja headband while the child wearing it was in the middle of a meltdown.
Seeing that they weren't in imminent danger, the sealmaster crouched down on one knee, leaning casually on the upraised one. He didn't say a word, simply waiting while Honoka screamed and ranted and eventually exhausted herself into a miserable hiccuping mess.
"Feeling better?"
"No," she mumbled, wiping her eyes.
"Want a hug?" he asked, offering both arms.
She looked at him suspiciously from under her bangs, expecting a trap, but when she saw his calm expression and outstretched arms she flung herself against him and grappled tight.
He stood up, one arm under her butt to support her and the other rubbing slow circles on her back. "It's okay, kiddo."
"No it's not," she mumbled, the words interrupted by a half-sob and endcapped by a miserable hiccup. "It's not going to be all right, ever again. Never."
"Huh," Kagome said in surprise. "I did not know that. Oh well. I guess we're doomed."
She pushed back, hands braced on his shoulders so she could glare at him. "Don't make fun!"
Kagome's eyes widened in the purest and worst-ever simulation of innocence. "Who, me? I wasn't making fun."
"Yes you were!"
"Nope. Just agreeing. The world is a terrible place filled with misery and we're all doomed. I'm glad you told me or I wouldn't have realized it." He sighed, shaking his head sadly. "I'll miss the chocolate, and the milkshakes. Oh, and the bird songs. I liked those."
"Sensei! You're making fun of me!"
"Nope."
"Yes, you are!"
"Nooope." He popped the 'p' just for the amusement value.
She glared.
"Hold on tight," he told her. "I want to sit on the bakery roof." He tightened his grip, one hand cupped against the back of her head as he pressed her gently into his shoulder for safety. One chakra-powered leap, a little chakra adhesion, and a moment later they were perched on the roof of Sada's Bakery and Sweets, right next to the heavy brick chimney. The morning bake was happening and the scent of it was coming up the chimney along with the sharp tang of woodsmoke.
Kagome got himself settled and then let Honoka down so that she was standing between his knees and they were both at eye level. He made sure to keep his arms in a loose circle around her ribs in case she slipped on the slate roof, but he kept the contact light and non-threatening.
"So," he said. "It's been a morning."
She sniffled a little and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "Uh-huh."
"Sleep okay?"
"Uh-uh."
"Did the monster traps go off?" He'd been very careful to walk her through the existence and method of operation for the directional mine that he'd placed under her bed as area denial against potential assassins. And to make very clear that she was never, ever, ever to go under there. Granted, it was only an alarm seal and a macerator loaded with pangolin pepper spray, the two linked by a Lesser Barrier Formation tripwire. He wasn't an idiot; he wasn't actually going to put lethal devices under a child's bed. Also, he'd been careful to tell her that they were intended for the monsters she believed lived in her closet. No need to explain that real-life people who actually existed would someday try to kill her.
"Uh-uh."
"Not hungry at breakfast?"
"No."
"Hm." He nodded thoughtfully and said no more, looking out over the city without moving.
Honoka was many things, but comfortable with long silences was not one of them. "Uncle Noburi is leaving," she mumbled eventually.
Kagome frowned. "What? No he isn't."
"Yes, he is! He went off to those toad people and now there's those two weird ones who are going to be around all the time and they're ugly and they smell gross and they're going to take him awayyyyy!" The last word was a wail and the tears were flowing again. Kagome tugged her into a hug and held her close, rubbing slow circles on her back and cupping her head against his chest so she could hear the slow, calm thud of his heart.
It took a while, but eventually the tears dried up, leaving only sniffles and more sad hiccups in their wake. And little-girl snot all over his shirt, but that wasn't a big deal.
"Yup," Kagome said at last. "They are going to be around a lot and they do smell funny. The young one, Gamatatakai? He smells like feet."
Honoka tried to laugh and hiccup at the same time. It went poorly, and the result sounded more like a squeak.
"Squeak?" Kagome said. "Squeak, squeak, little mouse."
"'m not a little mouse."
"You are a little mouse, and if you keep sucking your thumb like that you'll have big old buck teeth just like a mouse."
She jerked her thumb out of her mouth and thumped his chest with one hand.
"Ow," he said, pulling back. It hadn't actually hurt, but she didn't need to know that.
Her face crumpled. "Sorry." Her thumb went back in her mouth and she ducked her head.
Gently but firmly, he took the thumb out of her mouth and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Honoka," he said, "look at me."
She looked up from under her bangs.
"I saw what you did with your mother this morning."
"Didn't do anything." She looked down at her shoes.
"That was the start of Combination Five, wasn't it? The variation that Senzaki-sensei teaches?"
"No."
"Honoka."
"...Maybe."
"Honoka, look at me."
Shoulders hunched and head pulled down, she met his eyes.
"At the Academy, you're going to learn a lot of things that will let you protect yourself and your family. I'm going to teach you more things like that, and you're going to be a great ninja. But. You cannot use them on your mother, or your father, or anyone except enemies. Understand?"
"I didn't do anything!"
His grip firmed. "Yes. You. Did. You're a good girl, Honoka, and you're not a liar. Don't start now."
She looked down at the roof slates. "Sorry."
"It's okay. You didn't hurt her...this time. But if you do that again, you might. That would be against the Will of Fire."
Her eyes narrowed. "You don't care about the Will of Fire. You said so when you told me all that stuff about Lord First."
"Doesn't matter if I care about it. You do." He grimaced. "And...maybe it's growing on me. A little. Besides, there are things I do care about. Like you, and your parents. And Hazō's crazy dreams of Uplift. Stupid idea, probably get us all killed, but it gives meaning to life. Makes me feel like what I do matters. You attacking your mother or father goes against all of those things. It would make me sad if you did that." It also might get her kicked out of the Academy or possibly executed, but this wasn't the time to mention that.
"Sorry," she mumbled, looking down again.
"It's okay...this time. But if you do it again, I'll be sad and the Hokage will be sad. You wouldn't want that, right?"
"No, sensei."
"Okay."
She looked up in surprise. "That's all?"
"Yup."
"You're not even going to give me a whack?"
"Do you want me to?"
"No!"
He shrugged. "Okay."
"But you said I did a bad thing that would make you sad! And make the Hokage sad! That's not okay!"
He petted her head for a minute. "Would me shouting or giving you a whack make you feel worse than you do?"
Piteous sniff. "No."
"Are you going to do it again?"
"No."
He shrugged. "Well, there you go."
She frowned in confusion.
"You didn't hit her, sweetie. You only did the irimi." More specifically, she hadn't done the stamp to the top of the calf that would have destroyed a civilian's leg, or the double-knee drop to the spine that would have, at the very least, left her mother paralyzed.
"I hit you."
"Eh. It was more of a thump than a hit."
"You said ouch."
"I lied."
"Sensei!"
"What?"
"You aren't supposed to lie!"
"No, you aren't supposed to lie, because you're a good person and a sweet child. I'm a terrible mean old man who doesn't trust anyone and likes explosions."
"No you're not!"
"Am too!"
"Am not!"
"You mean 'are not', because grammatically—"
"Ahhhh!" she threw herself at him, tickling and play-biting. He collapsed back onto the roof, laughing and pretending to struggle at fending her off.
Hundreds of these leaflets have been making their way across Leaf:
Rejoice, humans, for your salvation is nigh!
The true teachings of Gamautama, known also as the Sage of Six Paths, have finally come to the Human Path for the first time since the Holy Disciple Gamaruma brought the gift of martial arts to mankind nearly a thousand years ago. No longer will your souls be sentenced to an eternity of torment within the cycle of reincarnation. Instead, you need only follow the true faith, and you may be able to ascend to paradise as early as your next lifetime!
These are the Four Exalted Facts of Toadism:
1) Life is suffering. Our souls are tainted by countless lifetimes of impurity and sin, and their weight keeps us from the paradise for which we are meant. Instead, we struggle through innumerable lifetimes of pain and loss caused by the folly of our past selves.
2) In all suffering lies the possibility for redemption. The Sage created the Six Paths to test us, so that by passing his tests we may purify our souls and escape the chains of karma.
3) The purity of the soul determines its reincarnation. A peasant of the Human Path who lives life according to the teachings of Toadism in this life will surely be reborn as a wealthy merchant or even a ninja in the next. Every Hokage is the reincarnation of a saint of the Fire Country who unknowingly lived life as a true Toadist. But one who rejects Toadism and chooses to live a life of sin will be lucky to be reborn as a miserable hungry ghost of the Preta Path.
4) Only a soul that passes every test over countless lifetimes and achieves perfect purity can ascend to the paradise of the Seventh Path, there to dwell in joy forevermore. The Seventh Path is a place where every warrior is a titan with powers a ninja can only envy, while every civilian lives a life of peace and prosperity, safe from privation, disease, or chakra beasts. On the Seventh Path, even the humblest food-gatherer is part of a mighty clan that protects and empowers them, and the purest of the pure even have a chance to be reborn in the Toad Clan as one of Gamautama's own heirs.
The teachings of Toadism, passed down directly from Gamautama himself, are a guide to every test the soul may face in the cycle of reincarnation. One who masters the teachings walks the royal road to paradise, cutting thousands of years off their journey. You too, may only be one life away from eternal happiness.
In his mercy, Gamasēji, ordained monk of the Great Toad Monastery, has descended from the Seventh Path to teach Toadism to all with the wisdom to listen. Sermons are conducted every Sunday at dusk by the Hashirama statue in Founder's Square. For more information, speak to Lay Disciple Gōketsu Noburi.
June 5th, 1069 AS. Two days after Keiko's birthday
"And finally," Gaku said, "Lord Noburi has reported that the Toads sent their messenger to the Otter Clan asking for news of where the Otter Summoning Scroll might be. He expects it to be at least a month, perhaps more, before any response will be available. In exchange for this favor, Boss Gamabunta demanded four hundred yards of green cloth, the services of a team of Gōketsu seamstresses—the work will obviously be done on the Human Path—and a pair of twenty-foot copper chains to be worn as decoration on the collar. Apparently he's tired of the Sages being the only ones with robes. The expenses fit within the discretionary budget that you provided me, so I have made the arrangements at Lord Noburi's request."
"Great," Hazō said, smiling. "I'll look forward to seeing the final product before Noburi takes it back. I think that wraps it up." He paused to check his notes. "Oh, wait, one more thing. I need you to arrange a mission for me—if one of our ninja can do it, great. If not, hire it but inform whoever takes it that it's classified and they can't talk about it. I want someone to go over to the Hanguri Gulf and hunt up a bunch of sharks, or maybe a megalodon. Their hides will make a really badass coat for Noburi's birthday."
Hazō secretary, already well-inured to his lord's crazy ideas and bizarre whims, wrote the latest one down without comment.
Hazō glanced at his list to make sure he'd cleared all the items and then stretched in satisfaction. "Unless there's anything else, I need to get over to the Tower for training. Lady Tsunade doesn't appreciate it when I'm late, and she's been drilling me on fifth-dimensional transit meditations. It's breaking my brain." He shook his head, chuckling.
Gaku hesitated. "There's...one more thing, My Lord."
"Oh?"
"My Lord," the civilian said carefully. "There...may be a concern at the school."
"'A concern'? Could you be more specific?"
Gaku hesitated. "One of the students has expressed some objections to Ikenaga-sensei's teaching style."
"What does that mean?"
"There have been some complaints about excessive contact."
"'Excessive contact'? What, he's hitting too hard or too often with the switch?"
"...Not exactly."
"Okay...?"
"Contact...outside of the classroom."
Hazō frowned in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"Some of the students have suggested that Ikenaga-sensei has been...indiscreet. With them."
Suddenly it clicked. "Gaku, are you telling me that one of the teachers has been having sex with his students?"
Gaku looked uncomfortable. "I have no reports of actual intercourse."
"Gaku. Stop dancing around it. How many reports do you have and exactly what do they say?"
"Two. They say that..." He trailed off. "Perhaps you should simply read them." He extended a paper.
Hazō took the page and scanned through it, his expression getting darker with each word. At the end he set the document down and looked directly at his secretary, his voice going low and cold. "Are there any accusations aside from these?"
"No, My Lord. None of the other boys have complained."
"None of the other boys? What about the girls?"
Gaku shrugged. "My Lord, girls always complain about their teachers. They are delicate creatures."
Hazō's face went blank. "Excuse me. I need to tell Lady Tsunade that I will be taking today off for clan reasons, and then Mari and I need to talk to these students."
o-o-o-o
Ino's face was ice. "You're sure?"
Hazō shrugged. "If I were sure I wouldn't be here. The complaints are detailed and the students were convincing, but I want to be certain."
The blonde teenage Clan Head made a visible effort not to react and instead to think carefully.
"I'm the wrong one for this," she said at last. "Worse, our surviving senior ninja are unavailable right now. I'll send Choki with you; he's only a chūnin but he's skilled. A little rough and sometimes he causes minor damage but he's effective and he's never seriously injured anyone."
"If he gets the truth, that's all I care about."
o-o-o-o
"And three times four is what, class?"
"Eight!" "Thirty-four!" "Seven?"
"No! It's twelve, you simpletons! How many— Oh, hello, Lord Gōketsu. How may I help you today?"
Hazō stepped into the room, his face blank. Behind him walked Yamanaka Choki, the sixteen-year-old ninja who had been the best that Ino could spare. "You are Ikenaga Daiju, yes?"
The teacher bowed. "Yes, My Lord. What may I—"
"Stop talking."
Hazō turned to look at the rows of students who were eyeing in fascination the interaction of their teacher and their Clan Head. An idle part of his brain noticed that there were seven unfamiliar faces; probably part of the outreach program that had civilian children from the broader Leaf community joining the Gōketsu Education Department's basic education classes. People had been suspicious of the G.E.D. when told that there was no tuition, but many of the poorer families had come around immediately when they learned that there was an all-you-can-eat lunch included.
"Class dismissed. Everyone out."
"My Lord—"
Yamanaka grabbed Ikenaga in an efficient come-along and slammed him down on the desk. "Your Lord told you to stop talking," he noted casually.
Oooooh, said thirty wide-eyed students.
Hazō glanced over, lips pursed in annoyance. "Yamanaka."
"Yes?"
"Not until we're sure."
Yamanaka rolled his eyes. "Very well." He released a terrified Ikenaga and backed away.
"My Lord, please. I don't know—"
"Stop. Talking." Hazō repeated. He turned back to the students. "All of you. OUT."
There was a stampede, and then a closed door.
Despite no longer being restrained, Ikenaga hadn't managed to straighten up from the desk, but when he saw the frozen anger in his Lord's eyes he sprawled to the floor in a terrified kneeling position that was not the refined precision of seiza. "Please, My Lord. Please, whatever you think I did, I didn't! I promise, I've been loyal."
"Yamanaka, do it."
"Hold still," Yamanaka said, stepping forward and grabbing Ikenaga's head in both hands. "This is going to hurt."
Ikenaga's eyes rolled back in his head and moments later his screams tore blood from his throat.
o-o-o-o
The entire adult population of the Gōketsu estate (barring the gate guards, a few sentinels at the walls, and a group of child-care providers) had gathered at their Lord's command. The sun was low on the horizon, dinner was simmering forgotten on fires and in kitchens, and everyone was nervous. When a ninja demanded your attendance, it was usually bad news. When your ninja Clan Head demanded everyone's attendance, it was almost certainly bad news. Sure, the last time had been rousing speeches and respect, but how often could that be true?
Besides, Lord Gōketsu stood atop a granite platform in front of them, and he did not look in the mood for rousing speeches. Ikenaga-sensei, a well-known teacher and pillar of the community, was currently bent over and tied to a raised portion of the platform, his head hanging off the front.
"People of the Gōketsu," their Lord began. "The last time we gathered, I told you that we are the clan of Uplift. We are the Will of Fire embodied, the ones who protect the weak and leave the world better than we found it." He paused, looking over the silent, nervous crowd. "We are not the clan of child rapists."
Eyes went wide and an indrawn breath swept through the crowd. The ninja spaced around the edges merely looked grim.
"Ikenaga Daiju. There have been multiple accusations saying that you forced yourself on your students. As your Clan Lord, I have investigated these accusations and found them convincing. In hopes that my investigations were somehow mistaken, I brought a Yamanaka ninja to probe your mind. He confirmed the accusations in sufficient detail that I am certain of your guilt. The Hokage has been advised of the situation and confirmed that I have the right to adjudicate within my clan and punish my clan members as I choose. I choose that your sentence is death. Pangolin Clan Technique: Pantokrator's Hammer."
Lord Gōketsu's fist came down on Ikenaga-sensei's head in a hammer blow that snapped his neck instantly...which was utterly irrelevant, since it also smashed his head open like a melon, splattering brains and blood across the red granite and the young Lord's shoes and pantlegs. Lord Gōketsu straightened, absently wiping his hand clean on a cloth that had been readied for the purpose.
"I do not tolerate abuse of my clan," their Lord said, his voice remote and unfeeling. Everyone knew that voice; it was the one that they prayed never to hear from a ninja. Having a ninja hotly angry in your vicinity was dangerous. Having them coldly furious meant that someone was about to die.
"I do not tolerate abuse of my clan," he said again. "Not by outsiders, and certainly not by our own. Every accusation will be investigated in full and punished appropriately. If the accusation is found to be false and made in bad faith, the accuser will be punished. If the accusation is false but a simple mistake then no harm will be done. We are the Gōketsu, the clan of honor. We support one another, we do not violate one another!"
He paused, judging eyes sweeping from face to face. "Gōketsu Kaku. Gōketsu Hiroya. Stand forth."
The crowd, eager to avoid becoming collateral damage, surged back away from the two accused men. Kaku and Hiroya fell to their knees, begging forgiveness for whatever they had done.
"The two of you are guilty of drunken fighting in the cafeteria."
"Please, My Lord! Please, it will never happen again!"
"I'm sure it won't. You are assigned to the sanitation research project for the next week. You will collect shit from the latrines for their experiments."
Both men sagged in relief, babbling thanks for their Lord's mercy.
"Gōketsu Michihiro, stand forth."
A fifty-something man with graying hair and a bit of flab stepped forward, his knees quaking so badly that he could barely stand.
"You are a thief. You stole four thousand, three hundred and twenty-seven ryō from Gōketsu Aiko. You will serve on the surveying- and construction team that is working on the aqueduct. There are guards onsite who will ensure your safety during this time but you will not speak to or interact with them or anyone else outside of mission-critical matters. Your wages will go to Aiko and you will remain on this duty until you have paid her back fivefold.
"Gōketsu Kazuha, stand forth..."
o-o-o-o
July 20, 1069 AS. Two days after Hazō signed the Dog Summoning Scroll
Hazō waited, smiling, until Kagome-sensei had completed the Dance of Joy at Still Being Alive and Oh Yes Also Making Some Progress on our Research before saying "Let's call it a day. I know it's a little early but I'd like to wrap up on a win and I need to talk to Canoe about the puppy-moving project."
Kagome-sensei nodded. "Sounds good. I was getting hungry anyway, and the kitchen is making chicken pot pie today."
"Did they get the feathers out this time?"
Kagome-sensei looked at him like Hazō had been dropped on his head. "Why would you do that? The feathers are the best part—well, as long as you cook them enough to soften 'em up and you add enough vinegar to neutralize the poison."
Hazō shook his head wryly. "You will never convince me of that. Feather stew is an abomination before all that is good and pure in the world."
"Hmph." Kagome-sensei actually turned up his nose in disapproval. "Uneducated bumpkin. Just for that, I won't save you any."
"Works for me." He clapped his mentor on the shoulder. "Thanks for your help on this, sensei. It feels good to do research again. No more Summoning training, no more emergencies, just the two of us."
"Why would you say that?! Don't ever say 'no more emergencies'! That's almost as bad as 'what's the worst that could happen'!"
"Sorry, sorry! Yes, you're right." He raised his hands in placation and, without being prompted because he knew that there was no hope of avoidance, went into the 'Please Do Not Let the Monsters From Beyond Time and Space Eat My Face' butt-wiggle dance.
When he finished, Kagome-sensei nodded in grudging approval. "Fine. Maybe you did the dance fast enough and we won't all die a horrible screaming death a few hours from now." His sniff was a marvel of disapproval and doubt. "Maybe. Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy what will probably be my last meal. And I'm going to ask for extra feathers."
"You do that, sensei."
Kagome-sensei snorted again and then jogged off, muttering about foolish apprentices and what was wrong with kids these days because when he was a student, would he have ever said anything so stupid? Nooooo, he would not! And they better not have run out of feathers for the pie.
Hazō watched him go, amused, and then sliced his finger on a knife and tapped it on the ground. "Summoning Jutsu: Canoe!"
Poof!
"Greetings, Summoner."
"Hi Canoe. How are you?"
"I am well. My oldest daughter won the Puppy Games and has been accepted to scout training."
"Congratulations! That's wonderful. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you." She looked around, noticing the lack of enemies or other threatening situations. "I assume that you wanted to talk about the task that Cannai set you?"
"I did, yes. I would like to preface this by explaining how my creative process works when it comes to solving other people's problems. The first thing I do is think up every weird idea I possibly can, no matter how crazy. Then I check around to make sure there's no obvious reason that they are impractical on my end—for example, a lack of some resource. Once I've got a bunch of ideas that I'm confident I can deliver on, I check them with my...call it 'customer' because I can't think of a better word, to see if there's any reason on their end that it wouldn't work."
"In short, you have one or more ideas that might be stupid or unworkable and you want me to validate them for you?"
"Bingo."
The greyhound's jaw dropped open and her tongue lolled out in a canine grin. She lay down, right forepaw crossed over left, and watched him attentively. "I await your probably-stupid ideas with bated breath."
"Right...okay. Yes." He cleared his throat. "Well, I was thinking about what Cannai said about Kakashi being helpful to you guys. I don't know what he might have provided you in the way of jutsu or materials, so it's possible that these things aren't original or that you already have them."
"Your wriggling becomes funnier by the moment," Canoe said, eyes twinkling. "You sound like my younger daughter when she's trying to convince me that she's old enough to accompany me on a hunt."
"Heh. Okay, well, let me get into it then. First, I'm sorry if this is a delicate question, but...you guys don't have hands, and that's going to make putting thing on and taking them off difficult. I was going to offer you a jutsu that we have, Zephyr's Reach. It provides excellent manipulation ability, although it doesn't have a lot of lifting or squeezing strength. Then it occurred to me that you probably already have something like that."
"We do indeed. We mainly use it for gathering firewood and constructing lean-tos to shelter from the rain."
"Great, that will make things simpler. Okay, I have some mockups to show you. I want to emphasize that these are mockups, not prototypes. They're only intended to give you an idea of what it would look like. They aren't functional, they aren't made with realistic materials or construction techniques. It's only about demonstrating the approximate shape of the final item. Yes, they look shoddy; that's deliberate. The point is to build a rough symbol of the idea in a few minutes so that you don't waste a lot of time if it turns out that the idea won't work."
"Your point is noted. I promise I will not judge you for the doubtlessly terrible work that you are about to show me." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Also, the idea of a mockup is interesting."
"...Thank you. Okay, here's the first one. I call them cargo bags." He unsealed a pair of pillow cases that had been whip-stitched to two strips of canvas. "The straps go around your body and buckle or tie underneath. The bags hang down on either side; we'll adjust them so that they don't come lower than your belly. That way you won't have to worry about ground clearance."
She looked the device over with interest. "Hm. So we put a pup in either sack and carry them on our backs. It would also be useful for carrying large amounts of firewood, grasses, or slain prey."
"Right. What do you think?"
"The straps would need substantial work in order to both remain secure while running and not interfere with breathing."
"True. We'd probably want to put a horizontal strap from here around your chest and back to here. And if we space the straps ahead and behind your ribcage it would work better."
"Even so, puppies are heavy. Bearing two of them like this would leave a dog exhausted within not more than sixty or seventy miles."
Hazō forbore to say that sixty or seventy miles sounded like a pretty good distance to him.
"Kakashi and earlier Summoners have given us bags that we use to carry things," Canoe continued, oblivious to Hazō's internal eye-rolling. "No one has previously suggested strapping them on in pairs like this." She studied the mockup carefully, then shook her head. "It would be useful for everyday life, but not for an evacuation. It would take too long to get the harness in place and properly adjusted. Wearing a harness for long periods would be poor hygiene and would undoubtedly chafe. And, of course, it would render the wearer unable to fight."
Hazō nodded. "Fair enough. If you think they'll be useful for everyday life then I'll have some of our seamstresses put together a variety of prototypes that I can bring to the Seventh Path for fittings. We might need to do personalized versions but I'm hoping we can get some adjustable versions that could be passed around."
"That would be good. What was your next idea?"
Hazō chose the next storage seal from his stack and conjured a sled into existence. From an engineering perspective, it was absolute garbage; bundles of uncured reeds tied together with bits of string and twisted into the appropriate shapes, with just enough deadfall tree limbs to provide the necessary bracing. Canvas strips stuck out in front.
"This is a modification of a normal sled," Hazō said, walking around to the front so that he could lift up the canvas and spread it out to reveal that it was actually a harness.
"The idea here is that there would be a rigid harness sticking out the front," he explained, shaking the harness slightly to indicate what he meant.. "A dog could simply walk into it to pull the sled, then back out of it when stopping for the night. We'd need to do a lot of work to find something that wouldn't run forward over the dog on the downhill, but it was a start. Fortunately, you have that manipulation jutsu, which means that you can put things on more securely. I think we can probably speed the process up by having something like a cobbler's last that would hold the harness spread out so that you could walk into it, pull the last out, do up the buckles, and go. Getting the last set up again on the far end would be more time-consuming, but my understanding is that it's the start time that's important."
Canoe studied the form with interest. "It would require significant padding to keep the pups from being injured when the sled bounces."
"No problem."
"And the sled itself should be high-sided, more like a basket. Otherwise the younger pups will jump out while it's in motion."
"We can do that."
"What would it actually be made of?"
Hazō shrugged. "Probably wood, but there would need to be some testing. It would depend a lot on how rough the terrain is that you're likely to be going over. We'd want something light so that it's easy to pull, but not so light that it flips over. Like I said, it's just a mockup."
"It seems worth investigating, at least. I believe you had one more idea?"
Hazō grinned. "Indeed I do! This one has several drawbacks—it's the most complex, it relies on seals that you would need to be able to operate, and it would require a lot of time to research and develop. On the other hand, if it worked then it would probably be worth it."
"You intrigue me, Hazō of Clan Gōketsu."
"Watch this." He pulled out two seals—or, rather, two elements of a single seal—and set them on the ground, one above the other. He pushed a bit of chakra into the seal and the top one leaped upwards, falling off to the side and fluttering to the ground. Hazō collected it and tried to place it back above its counterpart. It refused to be brought within a double handspan of the other half, no matter how hard Hazō pushed. He placed a board across the upper seal and lay down atop it, his hands touching the ground lightly and only for balance. The seal dipped slightly and then supported his weight with no trouble.
"This is a Repulsion seal," Hazō explained. "Once activated, it's essentially impossible to bring the two halves together. I don't have all the details yet, but I'm pretty sure that I can use them to make the sled float in the air. Once we've got that, I can actually make the sled push itself, either using the Repulsion seals or something else." Kagome-sensei's 'explosives solve all problems' mantra drifted through his head. "The entire family—the entire pack, adults and pups too, would be able to ride on it without exerting any effort. You could get where you were going quickly and without being tired when you got there. I don't know what the performance characteristics would be, but it's quite possible that we could make something faster than most dogs."
Canoe cocked her head. "I very much doubt you could make something faster than me."
Hazō's stomach dropped at the greyhound's offended tone. "Probably not, ma'am. Still, you're way faster than most dogs. I hope you'll forgive me for measuring against the average instead of against the champion." Also, she probably couldn't maintain that speed over a hundred miles of non-stop running, but he wasn't going to mention that.
"Hm. I suppose not."
Some of the tension went out of Hazō's shoulders at Canoe's pleased tone. "Anyway, those are my three ideas. Again, these are just mockups and at this point I'm only looking to get your input on whether I should pursue them or look for something else. What are your thoughts?"
"The cargo bags idea would presumably be easy to implement?"
"I think so, yes. It would require some fiddling and fitting, and I'm sure there would be issues. Still, it requires the least material and construction, and we could supply them in large numbers relatively quickly."
"Would doing so interfere with your progress on the...'sleds', you called them?"
"Sleds, yes. And no, they shouldn't interfere with one another."
"Very well. Proceed with both, please. The bags will be useful for cargo at the very least, and the dog-pulled 'sled' sounds like it might be a workable solution. As to your oh-so-speedy floating sled...go ahead. I shall be very interested to see what you can manage. I'll discuss the options with Cannai but I doubt he will disagree."
Hazō felt the smile splitting his face; for a moment he tried to control it, but then he let it happen. "Thank you, ma'am."
Canoe sniffed. "What is with you and the ma'am?" She shook her triangular head in dismay and disappeared in a puff of green smoke.
XP for the flashback period has already been awarded. The second covers a couple of hours.
XP AWARD: 2
Brevity XP: 2
Creative training XP: 0
"GM had fun" XP:
+1 for scene: Hazō pitches to Canoe. Dogs are fun.
It is now about 2pm. The QMs need to figure out where you stand with the research.
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, July 22, 2020, at 12pm London time.
Gōketsu Yoshio, a giant of a man with arms like tree trunks and a beard that could hide a small deer, looked down at Hazō in barely-suppressed fear. His wife Shizue, a young woman withered before her time by a wasting disease, looked up at him with a poker face. Their daughter, Karen, hid behind her father's legs as if they were a palisade, peeking out warily at the deadly chakra beast prowling outside her village.
It was not the kind of welcome he'd hoped for when he visited the Sacred Ibis, an old, ramshackle tavern in the poor quarter which the owners steadfastly refused to abandon no matter how Yoshio's half-brother urged them to move to the Gōketsu estate. (Based on the sign outside, an ibis was a kind of lizard with a leathery mane.)
"W-Welcome to our humble home, Lord Gōketsu," Yoshio stuttered in a low baritone that would probably have caused a small earthquake if the man ever sang. "How m-may I serve you?"
Hazō suppressed a sigh. "There is no need for concern. I'm just here to talk to you about your daughter."
"Oh," Shizue said quietly, with effort. "This is about the…"
"It is," Hazō said eventually, when Shizue showed no sign of wanting to finish her sentence. "I apologise for allowing it to happen."
His bow was deep, deep enough that he didn't have to see their faces as the subject rose to the forefront of their minds, especially Karen's. Some part of him wished it could stay that way forever.
"Please raise your head!" Yoshio nearly screamed. "You have nothing to apologise for, my lord!"
The reaction seemed over-the-top at first, but thinking about it, Hazō strongly suspected that the traditional response to a civilian witnessing their clan head's humiliation was summary execution. Still, there was no way around it. For failing to anticipate the risks involved with an institution he'd built himself, Hazō deserved to be humiliated. If the abuse by an authority figure had a tenth of the impact on these kids that it'd had on Mari…
Hazō raised his head.
"But I do," he said heavily. "There is something I've started to understand over the past few months, clansman, and that is the reason a clan head has absolute power. It isn't a privilege that comes with the bloodline. It isn't a reward for doing the hardest job. It is the minimum requirement to make me able to carry out my duty.
"By adopting you into my clan, I've taken responsibility for you. I've promised that when you fall, it will be my hand that reaches out to help you up. When you make a mistake, I will be the one to deal with the consequences. And when you're attacked, I will be the one to defend you.
"Your daughter is as much of a Gōketsu as you or me. I have a duty to protect her with all the power of a clan head, and I have failed in that duty. It's as simple as that, and the fact that I can build walls with the wave of a hand or make laws with a few spoken words doesn't change it one bit.
"I can't undo what's been done. No ninja has the power to do that."
Ino had likened memory erasure to groping around inside the raw flesh of someone's brain with a pair of forceps. She'd refused to say, presumably in the name of clan secrets, whether that meant fulfilling his request was impossible, too dangerous, or merely too difficult.
"But I can give you the apology you deserve, and I can make amends."
As the three civilians stared at him, dumbstruck, he reached out and placed a heavy pouch of ryō on the saké-stained table in front of him. The thud seemed to jerk them back to their senses.
The two adults looked at each other and exchanged several intense seconds of couple telepathy.
"Can't you?" Hazō asked. "It's your right to refuse, but in the end, the money is an apology to Karen. She is the one I failed."
He looked down at the girl, who continued to stare at him in silence. There was less fear in it now, though, and more curiosity. While the adults were stuck on the fact that the tiniest offence here could be a death sentence for them (living in the village proper, they had yet to internalise that that simply wasn't the Way of Gōketsu), Karen seemed like she had the flexibility of mind to understand that she didn't understand—not because it was an adult matter, but because the world was different to how she'd thought it was. Hazō smiled on the inside. There was meaning in educating civilians, no matter how the other clans sneered.
"I've done what I can about it," Hazō said, "and I've been careful about not making this a public visit, but even the Sage's power couldn't kill a rumour. If Karen becomes known as a victim of rape, there will be those who call her damaged goods, and I've had it explained to me what that can mean for a young woman's prospects. If you don't want that money for yourselves, call it her dowry for when she comes of age."
More couple telepathy.
"We would be honoured," Yoshio said, relaxing a little. "I have no words with which to repay such generosity, my lord."
"There's no need," Hazō said. His gaze shifted downwards. "Karen, I have something to say to you too."
The girl continued to watch him warily, but she straightened up a little bit. Briefly, she met his eyes, then urgently looked down again.
"There's someone at the Gōketsu estate who went through the same thing as you. She's an adult now, and very wise, and she says that if you ever need someone to talk to, her door is always open to you. As your clan head, I promise that you can trust her. Ask for Gōketsu Mari."
The gesture of vulnerability involved in that, for Mari to bare her greatest trauma to strangers on her own initiative, had staggered him. If this was the shape Mari's personality was going to take as she finally went beyond her "playful manipulator" holding pattern and began to create something new, she was going to become a new kind of power to be reckoned with. Hazō had no words either, not for how proud he was.
"My secretary has your names," Hazō said. "If you ever need help with anything, come to the main estate and you'll get it, no questions asked. I will review the procedures we have at the school, but for now, I promise you that every new teacher will be thoroughly vetted, and all complaints—even minor complaints—will be taken seriously. A Gōketsu doesn't flinch away from the truth, even if that truth is hard to say or hard to hear."
"Thank you, my lord," Yoshio said, his voice finally somewhat even.
"We've been so rude," Shizue croaked after a silence that was just a breath short of awkward. "Tea, your lordship? Something stronger?"
Hazō shook his head. For someone who'd been a teacher a bare handful of months, Ikenaga had been a busy sexual predator, and Karen's family was only the first on Hazō's list.
"Thank you for the generous offer, but I need to get going. It's going to be a very long day."
-o-
You have received 4 XP.
-o-
Your appointment with Ino, followed by the visits, took up the entire day and all of your spoons. The rest of the plan has yet to be implemented.
-o-
What do you do?
Sunday will be an interlude, so voting closes on Wednesday 29th of July, 12 p.m. London time.
Removed because the scene included romance-novel style content and I don't know if that would have upset the mods.
The scene was completely optional and you missed nothing important to the quest by losing access to it.
Chapter 359: The Bane
The enemy was massive. Tall, wide, and would undoubtedly hit like a hammer between the eyes.
"Is that all you've got?" Hazō demanded, telling the Iron Nerve to make his face look unimpressed.
"No, My Lord," Gaku said, plonking two more foot-high stacks of paper on the desk.
Hazō groaned. "Fine. Where do you want to start?"
"This is the latest financial review," the older man said, efficiently conjuring a sheaf of papers from the rightmost stack. "As you can see, the chocolate monopoly is producing nicely, although we expect it to break in another month or so. One of the fields was not fully flooded and it was having a bountiful but delayed harvest. The delay enabled our monopoly to succeed temporarily, but harvesting is now almost complete and will end up with roughly one quarter the normal total volume of chocolate-bean production, more than enough to break our control of pricing. Our agent in place, if that isn't too grandiose a title for a day laborer who gets talkative in his cups, says that he saw three men in uniform on the fields a week ago. He only saw them at a distance but he is confident that they were ninja. They surveyed the entire field and spoke with the owner and the foreman before leaving.
"Here we have the Naked Jaybird reports. As a reminder, the Jaybird is a source of revenue but Lady Mari has been using it for information advantage—knowing who is dining with whom on what days, being able to arrange a casual meeting by seating two people at adjacent tables, that sort of thing. On to the report: The Mist seafood menu is popular, but there was an incident last week. Several diners were poisoned, none fatally, and it's led to an extreme drop in attendance. They're investigating what caused the issue; the current working theory is that it was the confluence of an unusually venomous batch of prawns and sloppy preparation. The financial projections are on the third page. If things don't improve quickly, the Jaybird will be out of business in two weeks.
"Here is your weekly reminder that you paid a small fortune for that iron mine and have done nothing with it.
"These are predictions about what other clans are doing, financially and otherwise. The first page is the summary. The most interesting item is the second page; one of Lady Mari's friends on the Merchant Council has alerted us that the Kurusu are going to be auctioning off some of the land they gained as their prize in Lord Hokage's contest. Simultaneously, the Amori are probably looking to acquire land suitable for grape farming. I've included a map that shows the three main locations where grapes are grown and several other locations that might or might not be feasible as well.
"The Kurusu won the 'ten thousand acres' prize in Lord Hokage's contest and will be choosing the acreage shortly. They plan on auctioning some of it off and will be accepting bids soon; bidders are expected to provide a last-and-final bid and a map of the acreage they would like. Sale will undoubtedly be contingent on the Hokage granting the relevant land to the Kurusu.
"This is the latest reports on criminal and Grey World activity throughout Leaf, as reported by our Yakuza contact, Yodogawa Ikurō. He says—"
Hazō frowned. "I thought our contact was that Gotoda guy? Kin-something?"
"Gotoda Kintaro. Yes sir, it was. Unfortunately he turned up dead in his home, head smashed in. Judging from the size of the wound it was probably done by a very strong man using a large sledgehammer. Presumably by a competitor, and most likely by our new contact: Yodogawa Ikurō, the new Second Lieutenant of the Fire Dragon Yakuza. He's been quite helpful, and has doubled the number of Yakuza enforcers who serve as escorts for Gōketsu citizens going into the city."
"Yeah, what's up with that? Why are they volunteering as bodyguards? They started soon after we moved here, and we'd never done anything for them as far as I know."
"Presumably they wanted to get on the good side of a new clan. They must have known that we didn't have contacts yet and thought it a good opportunity to make themselves indispensable. It's proven effective for them; the enforcers protect our people but they also suggest destinations when asked. Gōketsu civilians are playing in Yakuza games, shopping at the stores the Yakuza protect, and otherwise funneling money back to them."
"Is that a problem?"
"No, sir. They've been ensuring that we get discounts everywhere we go, and anyone who attempts to cheat one of our people is immediately disincentivized from repeating the behavior."
"'Disincentivized'?"
"My understanding is that they have their fingers smashed with a hammer."
"Ah."
"Yes sir."
Hazō thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, I'm not going to make an issue of it. It's a little harsh, but they're bringing it on themselves. Also we've got too much on our plate already and we need the allies. In particular, the bodyguards are really helpful. After Granny Mayuka got jumped I was afraid we were going to have to provide ninja escorts for everyone, but apparently a tattoo is almost as good as a headband."
"Yes sir. Speaking of people being jumped, we had an incident last week. A pair of our teenagers went into the city to do some shopping and slipped their bodyguard, presumably because they wanted to find a dark place to engage in a bit of pickling."
"'Pickling?"
"Would you prefer that I use a different term, sir?"
"No, it's fine. So, they slipped away from their bodyguard. What happened?"
"They were mugged. No sexual assault, fortunately, but all their money was taken and they were given a substantial beating. They've been to the clinic and the mednin have done what could be done. They'll make a full recovery and I doubt they will elude their bodyguards next time."
"That's a relief."
"Yes sir. Moving on, here's the latest list of malfeasance inside the estate."
"Anything unusual?"
"No sir. Six drunk and disorderlies, three public exposures, four handsies, nine petty thefts—"
"'Handsies'?" Hazō said, chuckling.
"Yes sir. A 'handsy' is when a man touches—"
"No, no. I could tell what it meant. It just seemed funny."
"Yes sir. Nine petty thefts, and twenty-seven noise complaints. Fifteen of them about the same person, a young man who fancies himself a bard."
"Can't sing?"
"Like a drunken cat being strangled while drowning, sir, but what he lacks in talent he makes up for in enthusiasm. Unfortunately, he's a night owl and likes to sing in the communal baths. For some reason that completely eludes me, the other residents of his building are displeased."
"I can see why. Have one of the Household Guard talk to him."
"Already done, sir. Twice. It made no difference."
"Fine. Put him on latrine duty."
A sheet of paper magically appeared in front of Hazō. "Sign here please, sir."
Hazō glanced over the page in amusement and scrawled his signature across the bottom. "What would you have done if I had said camp chores instead?"
"You didn't, sir."
"I might have!" Surely he wasn't that predictable?
"Yes sir. Moving on. The skysliders project has hit a string of failures and three of the engineers are growing restless. They've approached me discreetly to ask what the consequences will be if they try to leave the project, or if they can't produce results soon."
"They can leave if they want to, obviously. No consequences as long as they're making a sincere effort."
Another sheet of paper appeared in front of the teenage Clan Head. "I prepared a statement to that effect for your signature, sir."
Hazō shook his head in bemusement and signed it.
"You have invitations for dinner next week from the Aburame, Motoyoshi, Hagoromo, and Renbutsu. The Motoyoshi conflicted with the Aburame, so I asked if it would be possible to reschedule them—the Motoyoshi—to the following night. They did so without complaint. Here is the schedule, the required dress code, a list of suggested host gifts, and the RSVP letters for your signature. The host gifts are reserved with the relevant merchants and I can have whichever ones you prefer purchased and delivered here tomorrow."
Once again, Hazō signed without protest; it was nice to see other clans reaching out for a change. He quickly selected a set of the gift suggestions and handed them over. "Who are the Renbutsu? I don't recognize the name."
"A minor clan without a seat on the Council, sir. I've prepared a brief on their financial background." He plucked the topmost folder off the righthand stack and set it in front of Hazō. It was slim. Hazō glanced at it and then up at his secretary.
Gaku shifted uncomfortably. "I was unable to discover much in the short time available, sir. I have rectified the issue by beginning to put together profiles on all the clans, including the minor ones."
"Good man. What sources are you using?"
"I sent some of the more discreet Household Guard to the Fire Dragons to inquire what the Yakuza know. I'm also speaking to civilian administrators at the Tower, and I've hired minor C-rank missions to take one of our younger merchant-trainees on a circuit of some of the nearby villages to see who is sourcing what from where."
"We need to get some more able-bodied ninja," Hazō noted, taking a sip of his tea while skimming through the contents of the folder. "Atomu and Reo are required for local management and defense and the rest aren't fit for field duty."
"I'm sorry, sir," said Gaku, his face suddenly pale. "I should have anticipated the need and I didn't. I apologize for my failure and I'll get right on it, sir." He bowed deeply.
Hazō stared at his secretary as though the man had grown a second head. "I wasn't criticizing."
"No sir. Sorry, sir."
"Gaku...seriously, relax. You're doing an amazing job."
"Thank you, sir."
Hazō debated what else to say and finally just shook his head. "Let's move on. Dinner engagements all next week. What else?"
Gaku extended another folder; Hazō noticed that the man's hands were shaking slightly but forbore to comment. "What's this?" he asked.
"A summary of the decoding project," Gaku said, pointing at the section headers. "Lord Kagome has decrypted forty percent of the boxes and says that the ciphers are repeating more often, and..." He frowned, trying to remember. "The ciphers are repeating more often, Lord Kagome has become better able to predict Lord Jiraiya's choice of cipher keys, and that..." He stopped and shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir. The discussion went rather over my head and I don't remember the precise words. Something about positions, plainer text, and inappropriately sickly compositions? It should be on page three."
Hazō flipped to the relevant page and skimmed through it, giving up after the third paragraph of jargon terms that bounced off his brain without leaving any impression.
"Doesn't make any sense to me either, but as long as he gets it. Does he need any more help?"
"I suggested that, sir. He...expressed the lack of necessity."
Hazō chuckled. "Did the word 'stinking' get used?"
"Yes sir. Quite frequently. It was rather alarming."
"I'll talk to him."
"Thank you, sir. Apparently Lady Akane has been quite helpful. He breaks the cipher, shows her how to use it, and then gives her a bunch of material to decode. She has taken it upon herself, after she finishes what he's given her, to take another batch of files and try all the already-broken ciphers so that Lord Kagome doesn't have to. If none of them work, she gives them to him to be decoded. The system apparently works well and they are making excellent progress."
"Good. We've been shuttling the relevant material to Asuma and Naruto?"
"Yes sir. The Hokage seems quite pleased and Lord Uzumaki has expressed satisfaction."
"Good to know." He focused on the report, skimming through it. Massive amounts of Icha Icha notes and drafts, stacks of inanities and irrelevancies, a dozen jutsu, several dozen new seals or folios of sealing notes and monographs that would be priceless to the right person but had already been promised to Leaf in general as part of Asuma's contest, and multiple boxes of intelligence notes and classified reports. Everything was marked with either one or two dates and the kanji for 'in progress'. For many of the entries, 'in progress' had been crossed out and replaced with one of a set of symbols that Hazō did not recognize.
"What are these?" he asked, pointing.
Gaku craned his neck to see what Hazō was pointing at. "Those indicate the current disposition of the files, sir. Those two are 'submitted to Hokage' and 'submitted to Lord Uzumaki', that one is 'Gōketsu archive', and that one is 'dark archive', referring to the most sensitive material."
"What is the 'dark archive'?"
"Lord Kagome's bedroom, sir. It's apparently rather better secured than the clan's secure vault."
"Ah. Yes, that makes sense. All right, what's next?"
"We have word back from some of the agents you sent to hunt down that telescope merchant. Six of them came up empty, the last one has a rumor that the man might have been going to Degarashi Port six weeks ago. He said that the report is unconfirmed and unreliable, sir."
"It's more than we had. Hire a mission to escort that agent down to Degarashi. Tell him that whether or not he finds the guy, he should come home and then take a week off to relax."
"Of course, sir."
"Cool. Okay, what's next?"
"The collection of fairy tales and myths you requested, sir." He passed over a thick sheaf of papers, his expression carefully blank.
"Oh, cool. I've been meaning to look into that ever since that story about Ui Isas led us to the Pangolin Scroll."
"Yes sir."
Hazō looked suspiciously at his carefully-expressionless secretary. "I have!"
"I didn't say otherwise, sir."
"Hrmph. What's next?"
"The sanitation project, sir. They've dug trenches at various points around the estate but are having little success overall."
"Well, have them keep at it."
"Yes sir. Here is a report on the last twenty ninja missions bid out by the Tower, including whatever details are available and, for six of them, who took the mission."
"Interesting. How did you get this?"
"I have been having one of the genin go to the board every day and bring back details of all posted missions. When a mission is removed from the board I send someone in to sign up for it. The desk genin will often volunteer the name of the person who 'scooped us', so to speak."
"Good job," Hazō said, impressed at his secretary's resourcefulness. Secretary? Perhaps 'lieutenant'? 'Executive officer'? 'Spymaster'? Something. He pushed the thoughts away and skimmed through the log.
"Courier mission to Hot Springs. Courier mission to Grass. Transport guard to Tanzaku Gai. Extermination mission to northeastern Fire. Escort mission to Keishi. Courier to Tea. Courier to Tanzaku Gai. Caravan guard. Escort to Keishi. Escort to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs. Courier to Keishi. Escort to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs. Courier to Keishi. Escort to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs. Courier to Hot Springs. Escort to Hot Springs." He shuffled through the papers. "It doesn't list who posted these."
"No sir. That information isn't publicly available. Would you like us to find out? I can speak to Lady Mari about how to acquire the information."
"...Let me think on it."
"Of course, sir."
Hazō eyed the enemy carefully; it had shrunk by less than a third. Today was going to be a long day.
He sighed and refilled his tea. "Okay, let's keep going. What else have you got?"
"…like pouring a glass of wine into a bowl already filled to the brim with water. Inefficient as a means of admixture, and given that the water in question is the very substance of your mind… ah, good morning, Hazō."
"Hi, Keiko," Hazō muttered blearily, staggering down the stairs. It had been a long night. Gaku truly was a prince among men, the kind from before the village era who ordered innocent clansmen to be cast down into the office to be devoured by paperwork in order to appease the mighty and ravenous Gōketsu Clan budget. When Hazō's mind was clearer, he intended to have a thorough internal debate over whether it was appropriate to inflict petty revenge on someone for being too helpful.
"Good morning, Hazō," Akane said, beaming despite the horrible hour of the morning. "Keiko was just giving me tips on the Shadow Clone Technique."
"But since you are here," Keiko said, "it may be a good time to suspend expounding my hard-earned wisdom, since I have matters to discuss with you as well."
"What are those?"
"The first is the matter of my birthday present," Keiko said.
"I told you, Keiko," Hazō said wearily, "the publication of further manga is at the discretion of the Nara Keiko Fan Club. I haven't had time to come up with more material."
Keiko shook her head, eyes briefly sparkling with amusement. "No, that matter is well in hand. I am given to understand that the next volume will feature a life-changing revelation by Nari the Cat Sage, the death of a major character, and the unveiling of a terrible conspiracy, though naturally I did not press for spoilers. I was referring to a different present."
"So you mean your pet chakra beast? I thought you'd already talked to Kagome-sensei about it."
"I have," Keiko said. "His relationship with Fifi, while perhaps best not emulated, contains valuable hints for how one is to handle a ruthless, self-centred predator which deigns to tolerate the existence of mankind only because its immediate representatives placate it with physical pleasure."
"So it's a cat?" Akane asked.
"For a certain definition of the word," Keiko said cryptically. "But no, that is not the present I was referring to. Try again, Hazō."
"The concubine thing," Hazō said as his brain gradually began to wake up.
"The concubine thing," Keiko agreed. "We intend to call the Clan Council meeting soon, in a matter of days rather than weeks. The Kei have committed to support us, the KEI vote is naturally ours in this matter, and I have received a reasonably solid 'Sure, why not?' from Naruto. Others are in progress, and we would naturally appreciate confirmation of the Gōketsu vote, as well as any influence you may be able to bring to bear on other Council clans with which you have dealings."
Hazō opened his mouth.
"I left a folder with the actual details of the laws on the table there. Please feel free to peruse it at leisure."
While it was generally a good idea to know in advance what one was voting for, that was not what had struck Hazō.
"Actually," he said, "there was something else. I can't help noticing you didn't mention the other two ISC clans."
Keiko's expression darkened. "I cannot…"
She hesitated, and looked back and forth between him and Akane.
"In confidentiality, then," she finally said, "and in order to prevent any further damage being potentially dealt by diplomatic blundering on your part. The Ino-Shika-Chō, while never as monolithic as we appear, are especially not so now. There are those who believe that the Nara's relationship with the KEI is a sign that the clan is being drawn in the direction of dangerous radicalism by a misguided young lord. Similar things were said of Lord Shikaku as well, of course, early into his reign, but he ascended at a more stable time, and had inherited a strong and prosperous clan from his father. Shikamaru is in the opposite situation. That he has a foreign wife from the dangerous radical clan is in no way helpful, doubly so since I am in fact responsible for the establishment of Nara-KEI ties.
"Lord Akimichi, apparently seeking to protect his friend's legacy, has chosen to lead this so-called moderate faction within the Ino-Shika-Chō, and while there has been no split as such, Shikamaru is being forced to navigate complex and treacherous political waters. Ino appears undecided—Ami speculates that she is more easily swayed by personal loyalties, and there may be an opening there to bring her to our side. She suggests that the two of you leverage the bonds you have with her in order to bind her more heavily to both the KEI and Uplift, as while not the same, the two are mutually-reinforcing ideologies."
"I wouldn't say I have that much of a bond with her," Hazō said. "Our meetings mostly consist of me being earnest at her and her being snarky at me, followed by some kind of compromise and me paying an exorbitant bill."
"That's what we do," Akane pointed out, "and we're best friends. Except these days we split the bill. Hazō, you went to her when you had a problem, and you were able to get straight through to her, and she heard you out and believed you and took your concerns seriously and immediately sent one of the most useful ninja she had on hand with you without asking anything in return. Do you think this is standard clan head behaviour when someone randomly turns up at your door alleging crimes against civilians based on reports from children?"
"I notoriously have social skills to put a flatfish to shame," Keiko added, "and your mutual interest is a matter of no ambiguity to me. The two of you form teams at gaming nights with statistical improbability, considering you have a clear preference for strategic games and she for social ones. Shikamaru, incidentally, suspects that this is partially caused by Rock Lee-related trauma from her first time."
It had been a while since the last gaming night, it occurred to Hazō. He'd already learned the styles of his primary opponents at Strategic Dominance, from Shikamaru's conquests calculated to the exact victory point to Ami's pursuit of every victory condition at once, and it would be fascinating to see what Sasuke did to the groupthink.
"In fact," Keiko added after a second's thought, "that you have already been taking action to develop Ino's interest in civilian welfare is very helpful with regard to the other matter I wished to discuss today. Hazō, how do you feel about permanently raising the level of civilisation across the entirety of the Fire Country?"
The fog vanished entirely from Hazō's mind. "I'm listening."
"The initial spark for the idea came from Snowflake, of course, who in exchange for her personality issues possesses that same incredible vast power that the rest of humanity squanders from birth," Keiko began. "That idea's name is the Nara Future Foundation.
"We intend to build it around the skeleton of the Nara Keiko Fan Club, which from inception has displayed a remarkable ability to find and bring together talented members of diverse trades and occupations in the name of its mostly-awful original projects. The foundation will take the most gifted representatives of various essential professions, and set them to teaching, with the full support of centuries of Nara lore. The graduates, young and each armed with high-level skill at their chosen trade, will then be sent out into the villages of the Fire Country as missionaries, so to speak, to pass on their skills. Thus, a master blacksmith will teach junior blacksmiths, who will then pass on state-of-the-art smithing practices to the peasants who lack the resources or knowledge base to develop them naturally.
"That is the first stage. The second begins as the villages develop new experts who are then capable of producing trade-quality goods, including inevitable regional specialities, especially in crafts such as pottery. Within the territory of Leaf proper, their caravans will sell these exclusively to the Nara, ensuring a fair price, and allowing the Nara to resell them efficiently and thereby both fund the foundation and generate an ever-growing profit. The craftsmen will, of course, be then able to invest their earnings in till'n'fills, superior equipment, and other boons to their communities.
"The third stage comes when the Nara monopoly becomes too lucrative not to challenge, at which point the Leaf clans and merchant groups interested in doing so will have to physically reach out to the villages. This will require new infrastructure—new trading posts remote from Leaf, and secure roads to connect them. Flourishing trading posts become settlements in their own right, ones which multiple factions have incentive to keep safe and accessible not only to the capital, but to the nearby villages.
"Naturally, the more effective merchant groups will establish branches in such settlements so as to be able to control trade in their preferred goods directly, thus decentralising Fire Country commerce. From there, in Shikamaru's words, we allow the inestimable power of human greed to do the heavy lifting. As the wealthy come to see individual villages not as abstract numbers on tax records but as local sources of personal income, they will naturally invest in them in order to increase the volume and quality of production, and they will certainly find the idea of losing such sources to chakra beast predation and so forth unpalatable, giving them reason to ensure physical protection.
"Finally, the surge in taxes resulting from villages having meaningful resources will fund large-scale civic projects which are presently unrealistic, such as a structured, patrolled national road network. I trust I need not enumerate the theoretical benefits."
"You're serious about this," Hazō said. "The Nara are actually willing to make something like this happen."
Keiko nodded.
"Unfortunately, the project will not begin to pay dividends immediately, at least as far as Leaf is concerned, and we will have to work to ensure that the others do not take it as another damning example of radicalism until it visibly does. However, there is one obvious way to accelerate it."
She looked at Hazō expectantly.
"You want a partnership," Hazō said slowly, "between the Nara Future Foundation and the Gōketsu Education Department."
"Consider it, Hazō," Keiko said with an enthusiasm he hadn't thought could be brought out by anything short of cats or Ami, "how much more effectively would the students learn if they came to the foundation already literate, numerate, and accustomed to academic learning? And then, what would it be like to spread those things, which ought to be the birthright of any thinking being, to every corner of the Fire Country and watch them take root?"
"It would be incredible," Hazō said after a few seconds of blissful contemplation. "And if the foundation actually makes the villages richer, that could mean enough time away from the fields for at least the children to be taught. In a generation or two…" The villages could end up with a higher literacy/numeracy rate than Leaf. Except, of course, for the fact that by that time he'd make sure Leaf had a hundred percent rate as well.
"It has taken time," Keiko said, "but I believe I have found my Uplift.
"Every shinobi child is given the finest training the village can provide. The Mori and the Nara are given even more. To be one of us is to learn, to drink knowledge like water, to have a bird's-eye view of the world. I was not a talented student, for a Mori, but I would rather lose my eyes and my hands than lose the ability to learn.
"It was only after seeing what you are doing here that I have begun to understand just how warped my perspective was. Contrary to the wisdom of the Mori, civilians are not ignorant because they are inherently stupid. They are ignorant because they are illiterate and innumerate, and thus unable to learn. They are denied the highest joy in existence simply because no one has given them the key to open the door. Can you tell me this is anything less than absurd?
"I want to see the reality of this, Hazō. I do not need a priori reasons why civilians are inferior or why they are not. That is not the Nara way. I want to see them given the same keys to the world that the rest of us already hold, so that on a level playing field they can prove that they are truly our equals.
"This is my Uplift, Hazō. Will you help me achieve it?"
Hazō looked her in the eyes, and laughed fondly.
"Help you? We've been working side by side all along."
-o-
The Concubine Laws Keiko left for Hazō are written in impenetrable legalese so agonising to try to read that it cannot possibly have been accidental, which is doubtless also how they will be presented to the clans. The essence of the laws appears to be an intermediate "concubine" status, which grants some of the benefits and responsibilities of being in a clan without actual marriage or adoption. For example, a concubine may have the head of the clan act on their behalf in legal or disciplinary disputes, and is treated as a member of the clan for the purpose of Leaf's clan secrecy laws (such that they are protected from people attempting to steal or coerce secrets from them, but conversely the clan head has full right of punishment if they share them outside the clan).
-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 1st of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
"Thanks for meeting me on such short notice," Hazō said, sliding into his chair after holding Ino's.
"Of course," she said, casually perfecting the alignment of her napkin and chopsticks to the edge of the table. "I assume this is about Shikamaru's little project? He said that Keiko was going to approach you."
"Yup. Would you be willing to support it?" He studied her faintly-smiling 'I have a secret' face for a moment, then hurried on. "Look, it's terrible that someone like Keiko has to jump through big flaming legal hoops just to have her relationships legally recognized in the most miniscule fashion, right? I'm not holding out hope that things will change overnight and everything will be sunshine and rainbows for people whose romantic interests aren't the norms, but it will be a step in the right direction. And love is love, right?" There we go; Ino was a girl and she read lots of Icha Icha and other romance novels. She would go for that.
She shook her head. "I don't know, Hazō. Girls being with girls? It's not really the way of things, you know?"
What?! No! She read romance novels! She had to be into the idea of forbidden love!
"But...I mean...isn't the important part that they love each other?"
"Well, I suppose." She flipped one hand to both grant the point and also dismiss it. "Still, she's married to Shika. How is it going to affect him if his wife is off cuckolding him with another girl? Not just in private, either—this will come out, because neither Keiko or Tenten has any hope of keeping it secret. What are people going to think when they see his wife going behind his back? It could weaken him politically at a time when we desperately need the Ino-Shika-Chō to be seen to be just as strong as ever."
"What are people going to think?" He scrambled mentally, trying to figure out how to follow that involuntary sentence. What were people going to think? What was the right tone here? Maybe something funny? Make the whole thing seem like a joke? "I'll tell you what people are going to think: Oooh, two girls. Hot."
She laughed and thwapped his arm. "Gross! Bad Hazō."
His smile slipped. "'Gross'?" The word came out cold.
"You know what I mean," she said lightly, serving herself a honeyed rice cake off the dessert dish. Half her actual meal was still on her plate but she didn't seem to have much respect for the standard rules of food priority.
"No, Ino. I do not. Are you suggesting that my sister is gross because she loves another woman?"
Ino rolled her eyes and focused on her food. "Yeah, don't try that 'me Hazō, me big and scary' stuff on me, buster. I was talking about your crass 'joke', which wasn't nearly as funny as you thought. As to Keiko, I think she and Tenten are sweet together and if they make each other happy, fine."
"So you'll vote for it?"
"Of course I'll—" She took a nibble of the honeyed rice cake and her voice suddenly hitched. She set the cake down so that she could wipe her napkin across her mouth to remove imaginary foodstains, looking down and blinking furiously as she did it. She cleared her throat and then looked up, smiling. "Of course I'll do it," she said, discreetly pushing the cake aside and taking a bite of her pickled catmeat kebab. "Shika will owe me one and the two cuties can have their forbidden love." She gave him a flirtacious wink. "It's so easy to yank your chain, I almost feel bad about it." She nibbled another morsel, not breaking eye contact as she did. "Almost."
"So!" Hazō said, blushing for reasons he couldn't understand. "Speaking of less embarrassing topics, I wanted to thank you for loaning us Choki. It meant a lot to me, and we were able to get things sorted out."
She smiled. "Yeah, I heard." Her voice dropped into the deepest, growliest, most over-testosteroned voice that a teenage girl could manage. "I am Hazō, Lord of Clan Gōketsu, the clan of Uplift. We are the Will of Fire embodied, unlike all those other clans out there who have been embodying it since the Village was founded. We protect the weak! We make the world better with our awesome awesomeness! We are not the clan of child rapists! Hyyyyyyaaaaa!" She mimed smashing something with her fist.
"I do not sound like that!"
Ino snorted. "When you get into one of your dramatic speeches, you totally do. Well, except not as cool. Still, straight out of an Icha Icha." She cocked her head studying him carefully. "Soooo...I'm a little surprised that you're the one coming to me on this concubine thing. I would have thought it would be Shika."
"Keiko asked me to," Hazō said with a shrug.
"Mm-hm. You sure you don't have some...interest in the subject?" Her smile had become knowing.
Hazō blushed and busied himself with the pit-roasted octoparrot. The style of cooking was a little off, if you asked him; they dug a pit, made a bonfire in it and let it die down to embers. Then they tied the octoparrot's wings together and wrapped it in wet leaves, buried it in the pit, and dug it up an hour later. It did a good job at locking in the juices and supposedly the piquancy of the dish was due to the energetic thrashing of the octoparrot as it was buried. He still couldn't help but minutely inspect each bite to ensure there was no dirt in it.
"I don't know what you mean," he said, keeping his eyes locked on his plate and desperately hoping that she would drop it.
"Sage's love, Hazō," Ino said. "How much of an oblivious idiot are you?"
"I have no idea what you mean," he mumbled.
She sighed. "Look. Shika is putting this law out there for Keiko and Tenten, but it's going to affect all of us, not just them. What are you going to do with that?"
"I...wasn't planning on doing anything?"
She rubbed her head for a moment. "Are you seriously this thick or just being difficult?"
Hazō cleared his throat. "My situation is...complicated."
One carefully-shaped eyebrow rose. "A teenage Clan Head with a difficult romantic situation? Please, won't you explain that to me? It is completely outside my experience and I have no idea what you might mean by it."
Hazō deliberately forbore to comment on the tone. "Akane was my student. Then she was my girlfriend. Then she was my sister. Now she is my subordinate and I am her Clan Lord."
"...Okay, fair. That's complicated. Still, there's other girls in the world."
"I don't know that I would want another girl if I weren't with Akane. She's always going to..." He hesitated, trying to find words that would encompass his feelings without stripping him utterly bare and ripe for the teasing that would no doubt rain down upon him. There were no such words, so he plunged ahead. "She's always going to have a piece of my heart and she's always going to be there. What would it be like for another woman to know that I wasn't completely hers? What would it be like for Akane to see me with another woman?"
Ino studied him, idly toying with her teacup, for a very uncomfortably long time.
"You know," she said at last, "it's important to remember that you're a ninja, and a Clan Lord."
"I mean...yes? It's not like I'm going to forget."
"I'm not sure about that." She studied him for another moment, then set the cup down and leaned forward. Her face was disturbingly serious. "Hazō, social rules apply only lightly to ninja. We are too rare, too important to the survival of Leaf, and ninja of a Great Clan are especially resistant. The Hokage—any Hokage—can't afford to care too much about our little quirks. Gai could shout about youth, Captain Kakashi could be late and read his porn in public. Jiraiya could peep on women in the baths. Anko can bone a boy ninja torturer and a civilian girl waitress. Sure, tongues are wagged and fingers are shaken, but nothing really gets done about it unless we actually kill someone or shout lies about the Hokage's parentage in the middle of Tower Square. Well, or commit treason by contacting superpowered terrorist enemies. You know what I mean—nothing gets done about anything that doesn't interact with mission readiness, the good of Leaf, or geopolitics.
"And, because I know that you care a lot about civilians and their opinions—they mostly don't give a darn either. In part because we are their heroes and protectors. In part because we are better than them and they know it—we set the rules and the civilians follow.
"Sure, things get complicated once clanship gets involved. Outclan marriages must happen to keep the blood from getting weak, but secrets must be kept and conflicts of interest must be navigated. It's why cross-clan marriages are rarer than elevating the best of the clanless.
"This law is about legalities, not approval. Clan Heads have been taking a piece on the side since there have been clans and everyone winks at it. Do you have any idea how many bastard children Lord Third has across Fire?"
The idea of the sixty-eight-year-old having sex made Hazō wince.
"Not like that!" Ino said, bapping him on the arm again. "When he was younger!"
"Oh. I hadn't really thought about it."
"Well, it's a lot. When he first took the hat there was a landrush to adopt anyone he had ever sired, ninja or not. Then it became obvious that he was too even-handed to play favorites just because you had one of his by-blows in the clan and things tapered off a little—sure, any of his kids with even a hint of ninja talent got adopted but the civilians are mostly still out there. There's not really much point—it's been shown that their mothers' blood was too weak to sire ninja children, even with a ninja as mighty as the Third for a father, so why bother?
"No one will care much if you date Akane, or even if you marry her. It might raise a few eyebrows, but probably not more than that. Likewise, if you marry someone of station and have a relationship with Akane on the side that's going to be fine too. Once this law passes there will be a legal framework that grants her certain rights and protections, but no one would have shunned you from polite society before this.
"So, that brings us back to my initial question...do you have a stake in this law?" Her cat-with-cream smile and the throaty purr in her voice were setting off alarm bells in Hazō's head.
Hazō swallowed nervously, unable to look away from Ino's pale blue eyes. They reminded him of the waters on the southern isle where the team had hidden after their first long skywalker journey. He could almost smell the salty breeze and he could definitely feel heat in his cheeks.
"I...won't say I don't have a stake in it."
Her smile got wider and she chuckled. "Well, well, well. Aren't you cute?" She tapped him lightly on the back of his hand with two fingers. "Let me know whenever you decide to act on this stake of yours. I can at least help you dress properly and tell you what to do to impress her...whoever she might be."
"Oh!" Hazō said, grateful to escape what had been feeling more and more like a trap. "That reminds me. Akane wanted to go shopping with you sometime soon—all expenses covered by the Gōketsu, of course."
"All expenses covered, hm? My, my, my."
A chill went down Hazō's spine.
"Um, yeah. And, speaking of logical connections that I can't come up with right now, I was wondering..." He paused, wondering if this was really a path he wanted to go down. It opened up so many possibilities for torment visited upon his own person, and his clan's pocketbook. Well, nothing for it.
"I was wondering if there was anything we can help you out with? You said your senior ninja were busy on unspecified ninja stuff...is there anything there we can do? Any cunning Ino Plots you might need some assistance with? What mighty quests might you have that we can take up to lighten your burden, O Illustrious Lady Yamanaka?"
Hazō was glad to see that Ino's bell-like laugh sounded unforced.
"Smooth," she said after a moment. "Very smooth." She paused, thinking. "Yeah, maybe. I need to talk to some people, but I'll get back to you."
Hazō waited to see if there would be more, but there wasn't.
"So," Ino said, nibbling on her octoparrot kebab. "Tell me more about you and Akane."
Hazō swallowed nervously.
o-o-o-o
"How'd it go?" Noburi asked.
Hazō sighed as he stripped off his headband, tossed it on the table, and flopped down into his chair with a groan.
"That bad, huh?"
"She's exhausting." He let his head fall back and his eyes close. Just a few minutes of quiet, was that too much to ask for?
"Well, better you than me," said Hazō's traitorous and unfeeling brother with a cruel chuckle.
"Sure, whatever." Hazō opened his eyes and looked over. "Hey, I meant to ask. Any word back from the Otters?"
"Yes, actually. Apparently, whathisname...their Summoner at the time, whatever his name was, left a bearing and was doing nightly check-ins. He was on a mission for them—they were a little vague about what—but I checked the archives to see if I could figure out where his home village was, since that's presumably where he left from. If it's what I think then it was almost exactly a hundred and fifty miles due west from the current Hidden Sand Village, on the west side of a mountain, and he was heading north-northwest. He was reported to be traveling slowly and had been for six nights, checking in each night. He missed his seventh check-in and that's the last they ever heard of him."
"Huh. That's actually pretty helpful."
"Yup. Now all we need to do is get Asuma's permission to go into a highly weakened and therefore touchy allied nation during a geopolitically charged time then start heading towards several nations that are neutral to Leaf at best while trying not to die of thirst in a desert that is doubtless filled with a gazillion-billion monsters we've never heard of."
"Well, when you put it like that..."
Noburi laughed. "I know, right? In other news, despite the fact that I told you the idea of a chakra farm on the Seventh Path did not sound like a good idea and that it probably wasn't feasible, I have thrown up my hands and given in to your constant badgering."
"I haven't badgered you once!"
"Oh, really? 'Try taking things to the Seventh Path, Noburi. Just to check, Noburi. What can it hurt, Noburi.'" He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I tried taking some small animals. Didn't work. Can't bring living things with me. Worse, it wasn't consistent—sometimes the animal went with me and arrived dead, sometimes it got left behind unharmed, sometimes it was damaged even though it didn't go with me, and one time I wasn't able to reverse-summon at all. Also, I have not the slightest idea why you were telling me to try draining chakra rice, but I did it. And, exactly as I told you would be the case, there are no plants that have enough chakra to be worth draining."
"Damn," Hazō said, letting his head flop back again. "I was really hoping that would work. It's easy to grow a lot of it and it isn't mobile or dangerous. If it had meaningful chakra reserves then it would have made a perfect—and amusingly literal—chakra farm."
"Heh. Well, no such luck. In better news, the koi should be arriving in a couple of months. That'll go a long way."
"Oh? We heard back?"
"Yeah, messenger came yesterday but I didn't have a chance to catch you."
"That's great. Really great." He trailed off, nodding vaguely. His thoughts were feeling like mud at the moment.
"Anyway," he said after gathering himself for a moment. "Keep working on something else that would work well for the chakra farm. The koi are a good start but I want more. I want you to be as massively overpowered as possible, both in terms of available chakra and in more general terms. Figure out whatever will work and we'll make it happen."
"...Thank you, Hazō."
Hazō opened one eye to look at his brother. "You sound surprised, dingus."
"Well..."
"Oh, for fuck's sake. Noburi, you are arguably the single most important ninja in Leaf. Your ability to transfer chakra is insanely overpowered in a village with multiple Summoners and Shadow-Clone users, but let's leave that aside. You've been focusing on Summoning and medical training for a while now and you haven't had the time to keep up your fundamentals, so you've fallen behind a bit—"
"Hey now!"
"You have, and you know it. Now that you're done with the Summoning work you'll be able to get back on combat skills. Given your skills, chakra levels, and jutsu you're going to be ridiculously powerful. You've got good defense, good offense, and that Water Dragon Bullet is going to be nuts once you get a little smoother with it. Give it a few years and you're going to be an elite jōnin at the least."
Noburi blinked.
"On that subject," Hazō said, looking around carefully. "Are you aware of any way to increase your internal chakra reserves? Anything in the new jutsu library, maybe?"
"Nothing definitive, at least nothing I've found yet," Noburi said, shaking his head. "The Akimichi contributed a set of exercises for more efficiently training your chakra reserves but it's all long-term stuff and it's not clear how it would work with my bloodline."
"Well, keep looking and let me know when you find something. I intend for every ninja in the Gōketsu—well, at least in Team Uplift—to be an S-rank badass by the end of the decade. I'm tired of always punching up."
Noburi laughed. "Yeah, I get that. God, when have we not been punching up?"
"The Chūnin Exams. Yeah, the social event gave us a problem but when it came time to fight we stomped everyone into the damn mud."
"I seem to recall pulling you out of a muddy tunnel into which someone had stomped you, Mr. Bravado."
"Bah," Hazō said, waving one hand. "I got ambushed by three ninja, one of whom had your ridiculously overpowered bloodline. Name another time. And no, my fight against Keiko doesn't count—she's one of us. When were we overmatched by non-Uplift people?"
Noburi shook his head in concession. "We weren't. Man, remember when we got up on that table and went all badass scary on them? That was freaking amazing."
"I know, right? Gah, I wish all problems could be solved by punching them. It would make life so much easier."
"Oh, boo-hoo. 'Poor me, I'm a Clan Head of a major clan. My life is so hard, boo-hoo.' Man up, bro."
"Hey, do you want to do my job for a few days? I sure wouldn't mind a vacation."
"Nah, I'm good. Having way too much fun mocking you about it to lose my favorite chewtoy."
"Bah! Fetch me some tea."
"Yeah, that'll happen."
"Fetch me some tea, person who is my subordinate in this clan."
"Hmmm...still nope."
Hazō gave a long, drawn-out sigh. "Fine. Fetch me some tea, person who is my subordinate in this clan...please. I'm tired after dealing with Ino."
Noburi audibly weighed up the choices with a long, long 'hmmmmmmmmmmmm'.
"Fetch me some tea and I'll set you up on a date with Ino."
"You know, I'm not entirely sure—"
"Fetch me some tea or I'll set you up on a date with Ino." He opened his eyes. "Seriously, I'm beat and Gaku still has about forty pounds of paperwork for me to deal with."
"Okay, okay!" Noburi laughed. "Black or green?"
"As black as the tiny blackened heart of the thankfully deceased Hyūga Hiashi. With cream and three sugars, please."
XP AWARD: 4
Brevity XP: 0 (382 words)
Creative training XP: 0
"GM had fun" XP:
+1 for scene: Ino convo
+1 for scene: Noburi convo. (It was in @Oneiros's plan, not this one, but I'll give it to you anyway.)
It is now about 6pm.
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, August 5, 2020, at 12pm London time.
"In service to the Leaf, and to our glorious nation, and to the Will of Fire, I, Consort Nara Keiko, call this meeting to order. Let us all speak truthfully and serve loyally."
The Nara, being the Nara, had long since trained a regent for Shikamaru in the event of his father's untimely death. Unfortunately, Nara Shikego had done the reasonable thing and attempted to stop Shikamaru killing himself with work after the Great Collapse, whereupon Shikamaru had summarily reassigned her. Hazō had never met her luckless replacement (there had been no Clan Council meetings of importance in the intervening months as the clans focused on reconstruction and private affairs, and Mari had attended the unimportant ones until he came of age), but he suspected that they, too, had been reassigned the second Keiko's birthday party was over. The irony of two of Mari's "children so inconsequential they can be safely kidnapped" sitting at the Clan Council table was magnificent.
Shikamaru wasn't the only one still underage. Hinata was being represented by Regent Kyōsuke, a taciturn man in his thirties already going grey from the stress of having to be a Hyūga. Ino was being dwarfed by the barrel-chested Regent Izayoi, whose pale Yamanaka eyes never stopped scanning the room. Naruto, however, remained on his own. Hazō suspected that the majority of those at the table would rather pretend that the fiasco with his vote at the election had never happened, especially given all the extra influence he'd accumulated since with the growth of the KEI.
Everyone else was speaking for themselves, including Sasuke—the meeting had been scheduled for the day after his birthday, overtly as a gesture of respect, but also ensuring that the Uchiha vote would be held by someone more pliable to Ami's charms than the wisely suspicious Regent Sadao.
Hazō looked down at table in front of him. In physical form, the Concubine Laws were an intimidating stack of paper that Noburi had described as thicker than Hazō's head (he was just feeling bitter that his barrel still smelled of furious cat(?) after he finally incremented the Revenge on Noburi counter too far). Hazō would bet a year's supply of chocolate that half the people here had done no more than skim them. He'd tried to read the text in full, and it was like trying to read a message spread out across the skins of a thousand snakes writhing chaotically in a single tight pit. A thousand unnumbered snakes. Hazō wondered how many other Nara-drafted laws Leaf had, and what horrors might be hidden inside, slumbering for decades until it became time for the Nara to unleash a contingency.
"I believe you have all had an opportunity to read and consider the proposed legislation," Keiko began. "I should mention that, based on feedback from some of the people here, we have decided to strike Sections 17 and 31b as unnecessarily contentious."
Translation: Other people found the text perfectly easy to understand, so you should go with the flow or you will look stupid. In reality, Hazō himself was one of the people Keiko was referring to, and Section 17 granted concubines the right to wear jūnihitoe in clan colours at court. Since, as far as Hazō knew, only civilian noblewomen ever bothered with the layered formal robes, and courts were a daimyo thing that ninja never attended except as bodyguards or infiltrators, and he had trouble seeing a daimyo try to sue a ninja for wearing the wrong clothes in any case, it was a sacrifice Hazō was comfortable making for the sake of rhetoric.
"It is a dangerous thing you propose here, Nara," Lord Kurusu mused. "We've seen the clanless gain a lot of power over the last few months, and now you want to give them even more? I think right now Leaf needs stability more than it needs concubines." He stroked what the Icha Icha books described, ironically, as a vizier goatee as he watched Keiko for her response.
"I believe," a cold voice came from his other side, "you are addressing Lady Nara, Lord Kurusu."
Kei Haruka's expression served to remind Hazō that, unlike the stay-at-home politician, she had until only recently been a field ninja, and her killing intent had not yet begun to dull.
"Pay it no mind," Keiko said calmly. "The primary use of noble titles is to distinguish us from our KEI comrades, and it is to Kurusu's credit that he wishes to open this discussion by suspending them."
Lord Kurusu flinched. Hazō watched curiously, waiting to see how the man would extricate himself from this as gazes began to sharpen.
"Perhaps we should follow convention for the time being," the elderly, jewellery-festooned Lady Amori gently suggested, "so as to better focus on the proposal itself."
Lord Kurusu nodded gratefully, and Lady Amori gave a subtle smirk.
"I believe," Keiko said, "Lord Kurusu is missing the broader perspective. The primary beneficiary of the Concubine Laws is not in fact the KEI, although it is true that the majority of those it applies to will likely be clanless ninja. The primary beneficiary is the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The laws encourage the creation of new romantic and sexual relationships, and serve to stabilise those already present so they may be of a long-term nature. In other words…"
"An increased birth rate," Sasuke concluded. "Something this village badly needs."
Asuma, silent so far, inclined his head in agreement.
"You will find both conservative and optimistic projections in Appendix D," Keiko said. "Both show a marked improvement over the present trend, which is less than encouraging. Growing tension between the clans and the KEI is interfering with relationships of the kind we are discussing, ending them and preventing new ones from being formed. A reversal of this trend is one of the secondary benefits of these laws. Needless to say, reduced tensions will also benefit Leaf on any number of other levels."
"And here we come to the truth of it," Lord Motoyoshi grunted. His elaborate robes rippled as he leaned forwards authoritatively. "Lady Nara, your stance on clan-KEI relations is no secret to any of us. There are some that would say what we need is a firmer hand, not a softening of boundaries. No matter what you and yours may accomplish, the hard truth is that the wall between us and them is not of our making. It is a basic fact of shinobi life, and has been that way for a thousand years. I don't mean to impugn the good work you've done strengthening Leaf, but you are clawing at an unbreakable barrier, and it is beneath us all to aid you in that futile endeavour."
"Why, Lord Motoyoshi," Lady Kei said sweetly, "it almost sounds as if you're condemning a policy affirmed by the Hokage himself. Surely you've not forgotten that I'm here speaking to you like this because Lord Seventh"—she gave Asuma a respectful nod—"recognised that a lack of clan allegiance is a shackle that denies shinobi the resources they need to flourish, not a mark of inferiority branded into the flesh from birth?"
Lord Motoyoshi, frowning, paused to look for a response.
"On the contrary," Regent Kyōsuke spoke in his stead. "The Clan Council exists, among other reasons, to advise the Hokage if it seems as if he is straying from the path of righteousness paved by our hallowed ancestors. If we were unable to argue against such measures, we would be nothing but a council of yes-men. Was that the role you envisioned for yourself when you joined the ranks of the nobility?"
Hazō inwardly winced at the painfully-familiar sight of an experienced politician running circles around a newly-ascended leader. Lady Kei now had a choice between accepting the implicit statement that her clan had nothing to contribute and shouldn't be here, or openly condone the Hyūga's efforts to roll back the KEI's accomplishments.
No. He wasn't going to just sit and watch to see if she could wriggle out of it. Hazō wasn't here because he was a walking friendly vote. He was here because he'd chosen to support his sister's bid for happiness, and coincidentally a set of laws that would be genuinely good for Leaf, even if he suspected the Nara were exaggerating the extent of it. He was sharply aware that he was no Jiraiya—he was reminded of it anew every day—but the mantle of authority on his shoulders had been put there by the master statesman himself, and Hazō would live up to the potential Jiraiya had seen in him.
"Our hallowed ancestors," Hazō repeated. "You know, someone I trust said something valuable to me the other day. She reminded me that all of the clans of Leaf have been embodying the Will of Fire since the village was first founded, and that means embodying the Will of Fire doesn't make you special in Leaf—it's just living up to what people naturally expect of a clan.
"So I wonder. If everyone's ancestors embody the Will of Fire, if they're all equally hallowed, how do you know whom to follow? And then I look at Sarutobi Asuma, a man who spent his life learning at the feet of Sarutobi Hiruzen, who many say was the greatest shinobi since the Sage gave us ninjutsu. He learned from the First and the Second, the other two candidates for that title." Though things could have been so different if Jiraiya had just had more time…
"Now you'll have to forgive me. I'm new to Leaf compared to you all, and Fire Country history isn't my forte. My own ancestors… well, let's just say I'm in no hurry to walk in their footsteps." He gave a wry smile. "So when I have to choose which of the old heroes to emulate, I don't have much to choose from. Just the man who gave us the Will of Fire, his brother who made Leaf a vessel strong enough to bear that legacy, and their apprentice who forged lasting peace in a world of war.
"What each one of them did was revolutionary, and played its part in making Leaf the greatest village in the world. So when I have to choose between supporting the direct heir of that lineage as he makes a revolutionary change of his own and worshipping the wisdom of the ancestors who followed where his predecessors led… I think I know whose yes-man I'd rather be."
The silence was deafening. Regent Kyōsuke's face was thoroughly schooled, much like the man himself had just been. He showed no hint of anger at being told that the Hyūga ancestors were inferior to the past Hokage and that his reverence for them was a failure of character, all in a way that contained no direct insult. Lady Kei looked like her birthday had come early, while Keiko's lips moved in the world's smallest "thank you". The others variously looked amused, appalled, deliberately neutral, and obliviously pleased at the display of patriotism from the immigrant.
Being able to neatly tie the Concubine Laws to the achievements of Hokage past was an unexpected boon, and a good lead-in to a call for a final vote, but Hazō didn't live in a world where doing good was easy. He braced himself for a counter-attack.
"Pleasant though it is to see Lord Gōketsu showing respect for Leaf tradition," the thin, bony-fingered Lord Kyoshō said sardonically, "we are not here to debate Lord Hokage's accomplishments. We are here to debate these laws. Unlike, I suspect, some of my esteemed company, I have taken the trouble to read these documents, and I note that they make no provision for inheritance. If we accept these as they are, any bastard born to some commoner mistress would have equal claim to a legitimate child of the line. Imagine the nightmare that would ensue if any by-blow off the street had a legal claim to clan status—and worse, if they made use of it before a proper heir was born. It would be a catastrophe!"
"There's no need to exaggerate," Lady Amori said peaceably. "The clan head has final word on choice of heir. That's how it's always been and how it always will be. If I recall correctly, Lord Kurusu's own father was chosen over the protests of the entire council of elders."
"Imbeciles," Lord Kurusu spat. "If they'd chosen my uncle, may his spirit be forever one with the Will of Fire, Sainan would have been a rout and we would all be speaking Rock right now."
"The people of Hidden Rock share our native language, Lord Kurusu," Keiko said with the faintest touch of disdain. "Their most common dialect, known as Lithic, is perfectly comprehensible once one accounts for the vowel shifts."
"Yes, yes," Lord Kyoshō said impatiently. "Lady Nara, your mastery of trivia was never in doubt. Please let us return to the issue at hand. Maybe the Amori have suffered no succession issues, but history is not always so kind. I should not have to remind you of how badly such things can go, when Exhibit A's granddaughter is sitting at your right."
Eyes pivoted towards Lady Minami. Regent Kyōsuke leaned over and whispered something to Lord Hagoromo next to him.
"You speak of matters beyond your understanding," Lady Minami said coolly. There was a perpetual air of stillness about her that made it impossible to believe that she was in any way related to Captain Nikkō, and also made her very difficult to read. "One who can grasp knowledge only in bite-sized pieces should learn to control their mouth."
"The Nara accept Lord Kyoshō's point as valid," Keiko said reluctantly while the man choked. "We withdraw the clause granting children of concubines automatic entry into the clan."
Trap successful. The harder people looked for issues with the content (and there were a couple of other contentious pieces seeded in there, easily fixed with a later amendment if it proved necessary), the more likely they would be to miss the grand deception for which the document was intended in the first place.
Should they move to vote yet? It seemed like an opportune moment, but in this instance, the call had to be Keiko's. He glanced at her, but she wasn't looking at him at all.
She was looking at Lord Hagoromo, who was urgently leafing through the papers.
After some seconds, he emerged like a diver from the depths, wearied by his journey and in need of breath, but ultimately victorious. The threads of precious metal in his long, grey beard, a rare affectation all but invisible unless he moved, glittered in triumph.
"So that's how it was! You nearly got one over on us all, Lady Nara," Lord Hagoromo said. "And to think, my cousin officiated at your wedding. Were you already planning how to make a mockery of it when you stood at the altar?"
Hazō didn't know how much coaching it must have taken for Keiko to manage not to turn pale.
"I beg your pardon, Lord Hagoromo?" she asked.
"Improving birth rates indeed," Lord Hagoromo sneered. "If that's the purpose of the law, Lady Nara, then why's there no mention of men and women? It's all 'they' and 'their', as if every concubine is an army."
"This is a perfectly standard format," Keiko said faintly. "As the spirit of the law does not discriminate between young and old, male and female, nor does the letter," she quoted what must have been a Nara doctrine.
Lord Hagoromo snorted. "I'm told," he said gleefully, "her name is Tintin."
Keiko opened her mouth reflexively to correct him, then stopped herself, and by the time she'd realised her mistake it was too late.
"You violated the sacrament of marriage," Lord Hagoromo said. "I'm no prude to say no one should ever have a mistress, but there's no place at a clan head's side for a deviant who has no intention of carrying out her duty."
Did the man not know there were people like Mari out there (who would probably have plunged him into an endless well of nightmares by now), or was he just wilfully ignoring the idea? Hazō wanted to leap up in Keiko's defence, but—
"The Nara and Hidden Leaf will have their due," Keiko said through gritted teeth. "My private life is not for you to judge."
"Oh, but it is," Lord Hagoromo said. "There's plenty like you out there, Lady Nara. Some even get adopted by those who should know better." He glanced in the direction of Lady Kei. "But you're the first to try to pervert the very laws of Leaf to suit your purposes. That makes this a public matter."
Asuma, who really could have intervened by now, watched silently. The question flashed through Hazō's mind of whether this was a test, and, crucially, for whom.
"Is it sinful, then, to seek to rectify an injustice?" Keiko demanded. "If you are robbed, and the law offers no recourse, is it sinful to call for laws against robbery? If one close to you is killed, and the law offers no recourse, is it sinful to call for laws against murder? If a law will benefit others in need, is it sinful to call for it because you recognised your own need first?"
Hazō could feel the aura of cold from here.
"A sin is a sin," Lord Hagoromo said. "That there is no law against it is not a right; it's mercy. It is by no means an invitation to pass a law for."
Behind him, Regent Izayoi's eyes met Ino's for a few seconds. She nodded.
"If I can clarify one thing," the big man said in an unexpectedly soft voice, "Lord Hagoromo, is your objection to the laws as a whole or to the… pairings they allow?"
Lord Hagoromo hesitated. He was being forced to choose between his overall objections (and the notorious conservative was bound to have plenty of those) and his impromptu moral crusade, which would become meaningless if he rejected the laws on their wider merits. So what kind of man was Lord Hagoromo?
"The laws can stand," Lord Hagoromo snapped. "They need but one very simple change."
"Not the laws, then, the pairings," Keiko said, an icy calm laid over a deep sea of boiling hatred. "We reach the crux of the issue. Tell me, Lord Hagoromo. Which lawful authority tests the continued function of your penis so your relationships can be sanctioned by the Will of Fire? For that would seem to be the sole qualification I lack before I can love a woman."
The look in Lord Hagoromo's eyes grew dangerous.
"There's no call for that kind of language," Lady Amori hastily interrupted. "And come now, Lord Hagoromo, a man of your years has no business getting so incensed at the passing follies of youth. Which of us has not had such moments of confusion in our early years? Let us revisit this issue in a few years' time, and Lady Nara will be the first to admit her error. For now, you should be the voice of patience and wisdom."
"Maybe so," Lord Hagoromo said reluctantly, after a few seconds of non-verbal communication beyond Hazō's ability to read. "I suppose I've grown unused to dealing with children after so long."
The cold intensified. Keiko could have been smiling beatifically, and no one in the room would have had any doubt of her mood. Hazō had been taught by near-death experience never to enter her room at night without knocking. He had been taught by Noburi's near-death experience never to touch the toy black kitten. He would have done both a hundred times over before he ever thought of patronising her.
If Keiko was Jiraiya, she would probably have been pulling out a Rasengan to smash the table right about now. Since she wasn't, Hazō merely readied himself to dive across the room the second she started saying, "Summoning Technique".
"ENOUGH."
Naruto had stood up, and one of his hands was raised near waist level, fingers slightly cupped.
"I came here," he said slowly, with emphasis, "to discuss whether a law proposal was for the good of Leaf. I did not come here to listen to some preachy asshole tear into my friend for having a girlfriend while the rest of Leaf's finest just stood there.
He turned to Keiko. "Keiko, real talk here. The girl thing is weird, and it makes me uncomfortable. But I'm your friend, so I'll get used to it. It sucks that you didn't trust me enough to tell me, but if what you're used to is assholes like him, I can cut you some slack.
"There. Done. I'm the third… fourth youngest person in the room here. I should not be having to explain this to people."
Naruto's gaze swept over the room, person by person.
"We're here to decide how best to rule the village. Fucking act like it."
In the stunned silence, the only sound was that of Tsunade cackling.
"Move to vote," Hazō said before things could get any more… anything.
"The Nara vote for," Keiko said woodenly.
"The Gōketsu vote for."
"The Kei vote for."
"The KEI vote for."
"The Uzumaki votes for."
That much they had planned for in advance. Well, that and…
"The Yamanaka vote for."
Keiko gave Regent Izayoi and Ino a surprised, grateful look, like she hadn't been able to believe it until the last moment.
Six votes out of eighteen (plus the Sarutobi vote, which was held by the Hokage and therefore was not a vote at all).
"The Hyūga vote against." Regent Kyōsuke looked Hazō straight in the eye as he said it.
"The Hagoromo vote against," Lord Hagoromo said with smug, fake serenity.
"Not that I particularly care whom you welcome into your bed, Lady Nara," Lord Kurusu drawled, "but the fact remains that your ambition has missed the mark. Leaf needs more shinobi children if it is to survive, as you rightly say, and mismatched couples that provide them are better than happy couples that don't. The Kurusu vote against."
Keiko's eyes narrowed as she seethed, but the Nara were the keepers of protocol, and she couldn't respond. The fact that a couple of the undeclared clan heads nodded in acknowledgement of the point only made it worse.
"The Kyoshō vote against," Lord Kyoshō said matter-of-factly, as if the outcome was a foregone conclusion. Hazō didn't want to think that he might be right. This meeting had gone very wrong.
"The Minami vote for," Lady Minami spat, though whom she was contemptuous of there was no way of telling.
"The Amori abstain," Lady Amori said wearily.
"The Senju abstain from this fuck-up," Tsunade said. "For a moment, I forgot who the children in the room were."
"The Uchiha abstain."
Damn it. Why?
No, Hazō could guess. Ami had treated him like an outsider (which he was), and only persuaded him to approve the laws on their surface level. She'd decided not to share Keiko's secret with him, and once Sasuke realised that he was in for more than he'd intended…
Hazō could only hope Uchiha Sasuke wasn't the grudge-bearing type.
"The Motoyoshi vote against," Lord Motoyoshi said with an almost apologetic shake of the head.
"The Inuzuka vote against." Lady Inuzuka had been surprisingly quiet during the meeting, not at all what he'd expected from her reputation, and her decision had sounded almost uncertain.
"The Aburame… abstain," Shino said slowly, thoughtfully, after a pause.
One man left.
Lord Akimichi, also silent throughout, was the kingmaker. If he voted for, he'd give them a clear majority. If he voted against, they'd be tied—and unless the Hokage chose otherwise, ties went to the status quo.
Lord Akimichi held Keiko's gaze for a moment so long it could have been an eternity. The amount of information apparently being exchanged without words made Hazō think the man must have also been trained in Yamanaka arts.
"The Akimichi abstain."
And just like that, the good guys won. After the humiliation of the Hokage vote, this felt… cathartic.
"The Concubine Laws proposal is accepted," Keiko said emotionlessly, "by seven votes to six, five abstaining."
Except…
"Thank you for coming," Asuma said, and there was nothing warm in his voice. "We are done for the day. Lady Nara, if you would?"
"We give thanks to the Will of Fire for its guidance, and pray for wisdom in acting on the decisions we have made today. May our service to Leaf be dedicated and without fault. Meeting adjourned."
"Keiko, I would like to speak with you," Asuma said as the others filed out of the room.
"Yes, sir?" Keiko asked nervously.
"Your proposal was made in bad faith," Asuma said simply.
What? No, not now, not after they'd finally made it!
"Lord Hokage," Hazō said, "that's not—"
"I believe Keiko can speak in her own defence," Asuma said coldly.
Keiko breathed in and out slowly.
"Lord Hokage, there is nothing false about the laws. They are intended to accomplish the ends I said they will accomplish, and Nara projections give reason to believe that they will do so successfully. It does not change their value to Leaf that I did not highlight the secondary implications."
"Then you deny that these laws are a vehicle to satisfy your personal romantic ambitions, and changes to social norms which should have been a subject of their own vote?"
Keiko couldn't lie. Not well enough to fool the Hokage, no matter how hard Ami might try to teach her. Besides, the family already had its treason specialist.
She stood. She thought. Finally, she deflated.
"I do not retract either my assessments or my intentions," she said quietly. "However, I acknowledge your right to impose penalties for deception."
Asuma sighed. "If I had a ryō for every time a clan head's tried to pull the wool over my eyes since I became Hokage, Leaf would be able to buy the other villages flat-out and end war forever. It's not treason to have ulterior motives—or not these ones, at least—but you already know the price for doing what you've done."
Keiko looked at Hazō, then back at Asuma. "I have sabotaged your trust in me."
Asuma nodded. "If you'd actually lied to my face, or if there was anything in your proposal that was clearly harmful to Leaf, well, we'd be having a very different conversation. As it is… I'm just disappointed. Tired and disappointed. You and Shikamaru, at least, should have known better."
Keiko looked down at the floor despondently, then dragged her gaze back up by force.
"Then, the proposal… sir?"
"The progressive faction predictably voted for, the traditionalist faction predictably voted against, and the rest abstained," Asuma said. "It's the shallowest possible victory, but it's a victory, and the fact that, in the end, so many abstained instead of lashing out at your arrogance as I expected is thought-provoking. That's the only reason I'm not setting this tainted legislation on fire right now.
"So now, I'm going to read through the whole thing a second time, and at the end I'm going to ask myself: 'Is this worth the risk of destabilising Leaf as it already reels from the consequences of the KEI's first victory?' But I suspect I already know the answer."
Asuma walked away, package in hand. Keiko looked at Hazō, gaze pleading, but the Hokage was gone by the time he turned around.
"—and he gave me my blue scarf!" Canter interrupted, bouncing around Hazō like a pogo stick so that the aforementioned garment flapped up and down. Long ago, the scarf had been a rich and finely-woven azure. Now, it was dirty, fraying at the edges, and faded from the sun. Despite that, it could not have been more clear that the ratty old thing made Canter deliriously happy, and that was all that any decent person would care about.
Canter was a young black-and-tan mastiff, age three ("and seven twelfths!") and theoretically on the verge of young adulthood, but she still had the excitable personality and misproportioned body of a puppy. Her beige-and-tan paws and ears were huge in comparison to her body, signs that once she grew into herself the baby mastiff was going to be a force to be reckoned with and probably very intimidating. For now, Hazō had to keep himself from saying "D'awwwww!" every time he looked at her.
"Shut up, Canter!" Canopuya snapped. "This is my story, and you aren't even supposed to be here. Go play with the puppies." He was six, a young bulldog male in his prime. Short and squat, with close-fitted fur and a squashed-in face, he fell cleanly into the "so ugly he's adorable" bucket. His jaws, which looked strong enough to bite through bone, suggested that any comments about his appearance should be carefully phrased or absent. "Anyway, Summoner, there I was! Side-by-side with Kakashi as we stood against the invading Leopard scum! He chopped the first one in the face with that cool lightning thing of his but he was so strong and the thing was so weak that he accidentally punched all the way through its head and got his arm stuck in its neck!" He paused, panting a doggy laugh. "It was hilarious. But! It left him off-balance for a second, because Leopards are fat bastards. One of the others tried to bite Kakashi on the leg while he was vulnerable, because Leopards are cowards who can't hope to win if they fight fair. I darted in like this"—he leapt across Hazō's legs, jaws gnashing down at the end of the jump—"and bit its throat out!" He shook his head as though tearing a chunk of flesh loose from an enemy. "The blood geysered forth, sending the rest of the ugly cats running for their miserable lives!"
"No you didn't!" Canter said. "I heard that story from Mom after you guys came back. You bit some Leopard and got your jaws stuck and Kakashi had to cut you loose!"
"Shut up, Canter! That's a lie and you're a liar!" He swatted at her with one paw but the young mastiff was too fast; she bounced backwards out of reach and then lunged in, chomping Canopuya on his massive black nose before fleeing behind Hazō. Canopuya yelped in surprise and pain, then went after her. She looped around Hazō again, staying just ahead of her pursuer and going ptthhbbbbbttt with her tongue in a way that a dog should not have been able to.
"Children," Cannai said.
The two dogs and Hazō all jumped in shock and then froze. They had been sitting on the open grasslands, sightlines clear for miles in all directions and no one within fifty yards. The Dog Boss had not run up, or appeared with the customary blink of Substitution. He had simply melted into existence two arm's lengths from Hazō and directly in front of him.
Hazō bowed deeply. "Cannai."
"Summoner. A moment, if you please. Children? Are you fighting in front of our Summoner?"
"No, Alpha!"
"He star—"
Canter cut herself off mid-word when Hazō placed a hand on her head; she peeked at him from beneath his fingers but did not attempt to pull away.
"These two were reenacting a battle for me, sir," Hazō said. "I asked them to tell me stories about Kakashi. Canopuya was kind enough to relate one about fighting the Leopards and Canter was helping him demonstrate their battle tactics and how to foil them. It may have gotten a bit excitable but it was still in good part."
Cannai looked at Hazō with a 'you expect me to buy that?' tilt to his head and a twitch of his ears.
"I see. The demonstration seemed to lack a certain degree of accuracy...why don't the two of you go talk to Packmaster Cankeru for some remedial lessons? I need to speak with our Summoner for a moment."
"Yes, Alpha." / "Awww. Yes, sir."
The two younger dogs sloped grumpily off, arguing back and forth about what had happened when and whose fault it was.
"You chose your words carefully, Summoner," Cannai said, lying down in the grass in front of Hazō. Even lying down while Hazō knelt, Cannai's head was still higher than Hazō's.
"They were only playing, sir," Hazō said. "Canopuya was telling me a story about fighting the Leopards and his pawswipe seemed very much like the combat tactics he described the Leopards using. It seemed fair to say that it was a reenactment."
"Canter needs to learn restraint. Nose bites are amusing when they come from an unweaned pup. She is growing into her strength and will soon cause real damage."
"Yes sir." Hazō gave a shallow bow, turning off the Iron Nerve for a moment so that his face would give an honest picture of how chastened he felt.
Cannai huffed in amusement. "On the other paw, it's nice to see you bonding with the children enough that you would defend them."
"Thank you, sir." He gestured towards the saddlebags draped over Cannai's midsection. "How do you like the bags, sir?"
Cannai twisted around so he could study the bags for himself for a moment, then faced Hazō again. "Until now we have used normal sacks that we had to carry in our jaws. It gets hard on the neck, and on the teeth, if the sack is loaded. Also, you have to be careful not to bite through the fabric. These are a great improvement. Thank you."
Hazō forced himself not to blink in surprise at yet another reminder that this was an S-rank being who was able to say 'please' and 'thank you'.
"Still surprised by basic courtesy, I see." Cannai shook his massive head. "The Human Path must be a terrible place."
"Have...have you ever been there, sir?"
"Several times, over the span of centuries. Generally I am only there for a few minutes when a Summoner needs me to kill someone. I try to keep in mind that these experiences are not representative of an entire Path and its people."
"Uh...good. Thank you." He looked around for a moment, idly pulling a blade of grass out of the ground and fiddling with it. "I see that you tried the saddlebags. Would you like to try the sleds? They're still just a prototype and I'm sure there's going to need to be improvements. The current version may not work for you at all, but I promise that we can—"
"Peace, Summoner. Yes, we tried the sleds. I wanted to do it without your input the first time because I wished to see their capabilities without expectations set by outside knowledge. And because at some point it will be necessary for one of my Clan to use them without instruction, and thus I wish to know how easy it is to figure out without guidance."
"What did you find?"
"The harness is too weak. Canaria demanded to be the first to attempt it so that she could make the saga from first-hand experience. When she started running the left strap burst and the sled tipped over."
"I'm sorry, sir. I'll get a new version turned around right away. One with stronger materials."
"It is fine, Summoner. We tried the second sled, and this time Canaria was careful to start slowly. It worked fine for perhaps fifty yards, until she tried going up a hill. One side bounced, the front of the runner on the other side dug in, and the whole thing broke."
"Ugh. Sorry again. Wider base for stability and I'll have them curve the runners right around in a circle so that can't happen again."
"Thank you. I'm sure it would work better if the sled were loaded, but there will be times when we must move them from place to place with nothing to put on them."
Hazō hesitated. "Actually, sir...we talked about seals before this. You've seen storage seals at some point, yes?"
"I have."
"I was thinking that storage seals might make your lives a lot easier. You can't put living things in them so they won't help with transporting the pups, but they'll make it easy to carry food, firewood, or whatever else. You can put a lot of stuff in those saddlebags if its all in storage seals, and then it won't weigh you down."
"My understanding of these seals is that they are extremely dangerous. I recall Chizuru saying something about 'tentacles everywhere!' Granted, she was a bit excitable." He paused. "Also, that was more than four hundred years ago, so perhaps your seals have improved."
"It's true that seals carry risks, as does any tool. Fire is good for cooking food but it can burn you if you get too close. Storage seals are good for carrying loads, but if you destroy them when there isn't enough room for their contents to emerge, it can cause bad things to happen. That's very rare; storage seals have had more effort devoted to them than any other seal in existence. They are as safe as it's possible for a seal to be."
"Hm. I shall think on it. In the meantime, I would like you to meet someone. Candoru! Attend!"
A canine head popped out of the grass and its owner came bounding closer, covering the distance in a few seconds before dropping into a pose that humans called Downward Dog, for reasons that Hazō was now more able to appreciate. Candoru was pure white with black speckles across his chest and belly. His tail was a furry whip, his body was lean and long-legged, but his neck was thick with muscle and his massive head came equipped with powerful jaws.
"Hazō, Summoner of the Dog Clan and Lord of the Human Path's Clan Gōketsu, this is Candoru. He is five, a new warrior of the Clan. He has fought in twelve skirmishes with the Hyena and acquitted himself well each time. He is a good fighter and a reliable sentry. He is not a tracking breed and therefore is poor at the task by our standards, yet likely still better than any human. The primary mark against him is that he speaks his mind too freely; it makes him difficult to deal with in a squad but I believe it will be less of an issue when fighting on his own beside a Summoner in short engagements.
"Candoru: You are overconfident and refuse to be restrained by your pack leaders. In actual battle here on the Seventh Path this will get you killed. You have responded poorly to reasonable discipline; if you force me to escalate to more stringent measures I am concerned that you will be permanently injured. Therefore, I am seeking an alternative.
"Hazō, I would like you to accept Candoru as a combat summon. Take him into combat as much as possible over the next few months. Focus on real opponents, not merely sparring matches; I do not want him to have the excuse that he only lost because he was holding back. Let him fight and die, then summon him again so that he may fight and die again. Once he eventually accepts that he cannot always win on his own, fight beside him and show him that a pack can do what an individual cannot.
"I understand that this will take time and energy away from your other projects. The sleds are more important than fixing one young pup's poor attitude, so if this effort will interfere with that or anything else you regard as equally important, say so. I will not force you to accept him at this time.
"Assuming you do choose to serve as his instructor, you are in command and have full authority as his pack leader. You may feel free to use him for whatever tasks you find him fit for, saving only that they must not damage the goals or reputation of the Dog Clan. I obviously cannot provide a complete definition of what that means, but the broad outlines should be clear—give no aid to the Leopards or Hyenas, do not humiliate Candoru in public or speak ill of our Clan, do not break loyalty with allies, and so on.
"At this time, are you able to accept Candoru as your Summon and undertake the assignment I have offered?"
Hazō paused, thinking through the problem. Having to do basic discipline training on what was clearly a powerful fighter would be time-consuming and exhausting.
"Candoru?" he asked. "How do you feel about this?"
The dog sat down, scratching at his ear with his right hind foot. "Eh. I'm fine with getting some action. The Hyenas have been kittying out lately, and we beat the Leopards down years ago so there really isn't anything worth my time. Alpha keeps assigning me to these overcautious old geezers that I could totally beat if I were allowed to, so I haven't really had a chance to do anything exciting for months. I only met Kakashi a couple times—I wasn't old enough to compete last time he was taking applicants—but working with him was supposed to be cool. You aren't him and I'm pretty sure I could bite your leg off if I wanted to but as long as you can get me to the Human Path that's all I really need. It's supposed to be all kinds of monsters and fighting there, yeah? So, sure. I'm in."
Hazō digested that for a moment.
"Alpha," he asked after a moment, "Candoru implies that hierarchy is sometimes established through violence in the Dog Clan. Is that true?"
Cannai bobbed his head side to side in a so-so gesture. "Among youngsters and trainees, yes. Hierarchy tends to be based around power. Among adults, status is earned in different ways depending on one's path in life. Canaria is famous and well-respected for her lore and her singing, despite the fact that she is no fighter. She—"
"Also for her tail," Candoru said, tongue lolling. "Rrowr!"
Cannai's eyes flickered red, just for a moment, and the world seemed to pulse around the three of them. Hazō swallowed nervously at the feeling of Cannai's irritation brushing past him to focus on Candoru. Candoru cowered on the grass with a whine, ears down in submission and forepaws over his eyes.
"Do not interrupt me," Cannai said calmly, staring down at the terrified dog. "And be respectful towards your clan mates."
"Yes, Alpha!"
"As I was saying," Cannai said, turning back to Hazō, "hierarchy among adults is determined by other things than sheer power. It is common for young males to have difficulty fitting into a military hierarchy when their commanders are significantly older than they, and perhaps also from smaller breeds. There was a time when we permitted recruits to challenge for leadership positions. Those times are no more, and most are able to accept that."
"I see. And for those like Candoru who have difficulty accepting it, what options do pack leaders have?"
"If you are asking 'are pack leaders allowed to strike their recruits', the answer is yes. It is rarely done, since any dog is permitted to fight back when attacked and therefore a leader must weigh the possible harm done to both parties. Still...yes. If you accept Candoru as your summon then you will have every authority to..." He paused, ears cocked in what Hazō had come to understand was a thoughtful frown. "Hm...how did Kakashi put it? Ah, yes. You will have every authority to 'kick the little bastard around the training field a few times' if you feel the need."
"And, just to be clear, I don't have to accept him, or this task? Refusing will not damage my standing with you?"
"It will not. It would be inconvenient, as it will force me to take stronger measures to curb Candoru's recalcitrant behavior. Measures that will likely have consequences he would prefer not to experience. Wounds and death on the Human Path are just as painful as they are here but they lack permanence; they therefore make for excellent training tools."
"And, confirming again, you are ordering me to take him into combats that I know are too strong for him with the express purpose of getting him killed? Well, popped."
"Indeed. As I mentioned at our first meeting, the borders have been relatively quiet for a time. The strongest fighters of the Hyena and Leopards have been busy elsewhere, probably with the Pangolin, and we do not battle our other neighbors. As such, Candoru has yet to find an opponent he could not defeat and this fact has...'swollen his head', I believe is the human phrase? He needs to see that the world is larger than his experience."
Hazō found himself wondering how it must feel to be standing in the middle of a meeting in which your superior was literally instructing a strangely-shaped being from another world to get you killed. Repeatedly.
"Thank you for explaining, Alpha. With all that understood, I will—"
What will Hazō do? The proposition is 'We should accept Candoru as our summon'. The options are:
[x] (Candoru) Yes. Also, beat Candoru a little bit right now to establish your dominance
[x] (Candoru) Yes. Respectfully tell Candoru that you look forward to working with him
[x] (Candoru) Yes. [Write in a few words of detail here]
[x] (Candoru) No. [Hazō will come up with an appropriately respectful wording]
Please use the precedeing options exactly as written so that the '(Candoru)' tag will make it easy to sort them.
Voting for this scene will close when @Velorien closes voting on Wednesday. I will write the resulting scene and edit it in sometime this week. Voting for this scene is independent from what you do otherwise. As always, please do not mess with time.
Hazō feels that Cannai is probably not open to giving him other summons at this time; if the sleds shake out, or if you do a good job with Candoru, then you'll be in better shape to negotiate.
"—be glad to accept the mission. Candoru, I look forward to working with you."
Candoru lolled his tongue out, panting in amusement. "Yeah, sounds like maybe it'll be fun. I don't know about this whole 'fights too strong for him' though...I'm pretty damn strong."
"I'll see if I can find something that will be worth your time."
"Sure, I guess. Heeyyyy, quick question...Kakashi mentioned a couple of times that you have dogs on the Human Path, yeah?"
"...We do."
"Are any of them...lady dogs?"
Hazō's brain shut down as too many signals tried to go out to the mouth at the same time.
"You understand that the dogs of my world aren't like the Dog Clan, yes?" he asked after a moment. "They aren't people. They can't talk, they don't really think. They definitely do not have the sort of physical or mystical strength that you and I have."
"That I have, anyway. Eh? Eh? Gonna have the best thighs around, ooh yeah. Watch out, ladies." The white dog preened and raised his chin in a dramatic fashion that Hazō was almost completely certain was dramatic. At least, he hoped. The dog either had a wonderful sense of self-directed irony or he was just the worst.
"Candoru..." Cannai began.
The smaller dog looked up. "Yeah, boss?"
"...Never mind. Just try not to embarrass us when you get to the Human Path. Summoner, is there anything else you will need from me?"
"I don't think so. Thank you, Alpha."
"Excellent. Please make your pact with this one. I suddenly feel the need to be elsewhere."
o-o-o-o
"How did your trip go, sir?"
Hazō paused, thinking. "I really want to make a 'it sure went to the Dogs' joke here, but it's not quite coming together. Pretend I said something clever." He sighed and dropped into his canvas-backed chair, snorfling one of the honeyed dates that had been laid out on a snack tray for him.
"Of course, sir. Very witty, sir."
"No, not literally pretend...never mind. Starting over. My visit to the dogs went well. They're happy with the saddlebags, they generally like the sleds although there need to be some construction changes, and we've got a good relationship. Cannai offered me a really weird mission. He wanted me to...actually, never mind. That's a tangent. Let's focus on the important stuff. What have you got for me?"
Gaku reached into his satchel and pulled out a roll of papers tied together with a red rawhide string. He glanced at the notes in front of him on the desk as he passed the roll over. "As you requested, I found more skilled craftsmen for the skyslider project. The current team are teaching the new people what they need to know in order to be useful." He paused, then spoke carefully. "May I offer a comment, sir?"
Hazō raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Of course. What?"
"Sir, the original skyslider team seem to be feeling slighted by having these new people assigned to them. They are taking it as a critique of their abilities. Which, granted, have been shown to be insufficient to the task. I asked Kimmi, one of the Academy students, to keep a stealthy eye on them. She reported bickering and some yelling."
Hazō sighed. "Lovely. Well, I'm not going to worry about it for now. If they haven't gotten it sorted in a few days, let me know and we'll deal with it. What else have you got?"
"I passed on your message to Lady Gōketsu that she is to acquire all the available grape-producing land in Fire."
"You remembered to tell her the part about not doing anything treasonous, right?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay, good. She's been a little...less restrained than she used to be, so I worry."
"I'm sure you know best, sir."
"As Noburi will be delighted to tell you, I very definitely do not know best. Anyway, moving on. How's the Jaybird?"
"Functional and ready to serve, sir. Ever since the food poisoning incident, attendance has dropped to effectively nothing. I've been sending Gōketsu civilians to dine there each night so that the establishment always looks mostly full, but I'm unsure if it's helping or not. If you would like, I can quietly pay non-Gōketsu civilians to dine there and talk up the quality. Additionally, we could ask the Yakuza to do the same."
"Sounds like a plan. There isn't a lot of money in a restaurant but it's awfully useful to have as a diplomacy- and intelligence-gathering tool. Let's do what we can to make it work."
"Yes, sir. In either case, it will be ready for your dinner with Hyūga Neji tomorrow. As you requested, I sent messages to the Nara inquiring after Lord Hyūga's food preferences. I was given a surprisingly detailed list, which I have passed on to the chefs. The invitation has been delivered and confirmed."
"Great job, Gaku." Hazō sighed in relief as he felt some of the accumulated worry shift from his shoulders. It was so nice to have good subordinates. "Did you talk to Kagome-sensei about our research? I didn't manage to catch up with him last night or this morning."
"Yes sir. He is just as glad that you did not want to research today or tomorrow, as he is doing a practicum with his students. I...think he is pleased with their progress?"
"Was he grumbling or screaming?"
"Grumbling, sir."
"He's pleased with their progress."
"Yes sir. In any case, he will be ready to work with you starting at mid-morning the day after tomorrow. He requested mid-morning because—"
"—that will give him time to go over the sealing lab with a fine-toothed rake and then verify that the place is still level to within a one-inch tolerance and there is nothing red within fifty feet."
"Uh...yes, sir." The older man paused. "Sir, is sealing truly that dangerous? Would a raspberry actually cause disaster?"
Hazō chuckled. "Honestly, I don't even know how to answer that. We've used berries as our test targets before, so maybe it's something about the particular seal that we're researching, or maybe Sensei is just feeling like being a little extra careful."
"Yes, sir. Moving on, I have two candidates for a clan magistrate." He handed over a pair of thin folders. Hazō flipped them open and skimmed through them.
"Have you talked to them?"
"Yes, sir."
"Which way do you lean?"
"Sir...it's really not my place."
Hazō waved dismissively. "You're a smart guy, Gaku. You're allowed to have opinions. You've vetted both of these guys, right?"
"To the best of my ability, sir. I passed their jackets to Lady Mari for her review. She, uh, she seemed to find them both acceptable."
Hazō's 'Mari gonna Mari' sense started tingling. "What did she say exactly?"
Gaku swallowed nervously and fidgeted with his shirt cuff. "She...she told me that she had complete confidence in my choices and felt no need to investigate further."
Which might have been Mari saying 'I have complete confidence in your choices and feel no need to investigate further' or 'This sounds boring and I want to do something else'. Still, best not to tell Gaku that.
"Well, I agree with her. Pick the one you like best, get him set up as the magistrate."
Gaku's eyes widened. "Sir, I can't! I'm a civilian secretary, I can't be choosing the clan magistrate!"
"Who says?"
"What? I mean...everyone knows...that is...you can't—"
Hazō laughed. "Pretty sure I can. Clan Head, remember? I'm tired of having to sign off on minor disciplinary offenses and I have confidence in you." Besides, if the one that Gaku chose didn't work out they could simply replace him. "Pick the one you like and get him started. And get used to making decisions like that—you're too good at your job to be doubting yourself." He paused as a thought struck him. "We should get you a title. You're a lot more than my secretary and we should make that clear to everyone. Chancellor? Vizier? Executive? Anything particular appeal?"
"I...sir, I can't...that is..."
Hazō took mercy on the man. "Let's both think on it for a couple days. It deserves an appropriate amount of thought to pick the right title and then solemnity when we do the public announcement."
"Public announcement?!"
"So, anyway, let's finish this up so I can get some sleep."
Gaku took a moment to gather his flustered self before nodding weakly. "Yes sir. Here are the compound logistics reports for your review, sir. If you could sign here..."
o-o-o-o
"Gōketsu."
"Neji. Good evening. Have a seat. What would you like to drink?"
Neji's outfit was perfectly turned out and far more formal than the occasion warranted. Hazō wasn't sure if that expressed nervousness on Neji's part or an implicit putdown of his host's standards. Given the sour expression it was probably the second.
"What do you want, Gōketsu? Lady Hinata said I had to meet with you in order to 'maintain and improve clan relations' because apparently that's a thing that we care about now."
"Neji, please sit."
Grumpily, the white-eyed ninja settled in the chair across from Hazō, his back perfectly straight and hands in his lap.
"You're snarkier than usual. What's going on?"
"Nothing. Get to the point."
"Well, let's get some food first. I'm starving." He actually wasn't. Everyone trained by Infiltrator-sensei would know to eat something before going to an important meeting. ("Empty bellies make empty heads. Empty heads make you dead.") He caught the waiter's attentive eye and signaled readiness. The man bustled over.
"Welcome, My Lords, to the Naked Jaybird. The menu tonight is—"
"It's fine," Hazō said. "Just send us the chef's choices. Water with berry juice for me. Neji?"
Neji glared sourly at the universe in general. "I suppose that will do. And hurry."
The waiter bowed deeply and vanished into the kitchen.
"So, how are things?"
"Fine."
"You guys were hit hard by the Collapse. I know that you must all still be in a lot of pain; I suspect there isn't anything I can do, but can the Gōketsu help in any way?"
"No."
"Okay." Hazō let the silence hang and used the time to pour two cups of tea. He gestured an offer to Neji, who took the one on the left with poor grace.
"By the way, I never congratulated you on signing the Turtle Scroll," Hazō said.
"Listen, Gōketsu—!" Neji stopped himself, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Thank you. I appreciate your concern."
"Okay, seriously. Neji, what's going on? Have I done something to offend you? Oh, thank you." The last words were addressed to the waiter who had returned with a pitcher of berry-infused water and two younger servers with platters of tiny dishes that they quickly unloaded onto the table. All three staff members bowed, deeply and repeatedly, and vanished.
"That was quick," Neji said suspiciously.
Hazō shrugged. "You're known for your punctuality, so I felt safe giving them an exact time to start preparing."
"'Known for my punctuality', huh?" Neji snarled. "Is that all you think of me?"
Hazō leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. "Okay, look. I have no idea what's going on with you. I came here to have a good meal, a nice conversation, and offer you a deal, that's it."
"A deal, hm? Trying to bribe me?" Neji had not so much as glanced at the food on the table...not that he needed to, since the bulging veins along his temples indicated that his Byakugan was active. That was a bit of a social faux pas, but Hazō wasn't about to call him on it.
Hazō made a point of inspecting each of the twelve dishes before finally choosing shrimp balls in squid ink. "Look, Neji," he said, nibbling the first of the savory treats. "I don't know what's bothering you and I can't fix it until you tell me. What's going on?"
Neji studied him in silence for several long seconds. "Do you know my cousin, Mitsuo?" he asked grudgingly.
Hazō searched his memory and came up blank. "I don't, I'm sorry."
"He's dead. Killed while spying on those Rock bastards last week."
"Oh, Sage. Neji, I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry? You just said you didn't know him."
Hazō took a deep breath. "I didn't, but I know you and I know what it's like to lose someone. I can empathize with you even if I can't grieve directly for your cousin."
Neji eyed him for a moment, then snorted and jabbed at the plate of salted green beans, loading a good helping of them onto his plate.
"Your red-headed witch was sure she could get rid of those bastards, with her so-clever plans about sending animals to harass them." Neji stopped abruptly and took a breath, then another deeper one. When he spoke again his voice was calmer, although it still had an edge. "Intellectually, I know that Mitsuo's death is not that woman's fault. Despite that, he was in that location solely because he and his Aburame teammate were assigned to herd a tangle of swamp vipers into the Rock camp. Because of her plan."
"I'm sorry," Hazō said quietly.
Neji grunted and took a resentful bite of his beans. He paused, then practically inhaled the rest.
"Try the stuffed hummingbird," Hazō suggested, pointing. "They're amazing."
"I know what you're doing," Neji said, serving himself one of the tiny birds. It had been defeathered, soaked in vinegar until the bones softened, then stuffed with a sausage and mushroom mix and baked. It was an incredible amount of labor for two bites of food, but it tasted amazing.
"What am I doing?"
"You got a list of all my favorite foods from somewhere—"
"The Nara."
"Of course. You thought you could bribe me with stuffed hummingbird?"
"No, I thought I could give you a nice meal that you would enjoy. And, yes, that it might put you in a better mood when I make my pitch in a minute."
"Unlikely. Spit it out so that I can turn down what I'm sure will be another example of treasonous idiocy." The words were harsh but the tone held a very slight sense of teasing.
Hazō chuckled. "Why, Neji. That almost sounded like a joke. Couldn't be though, right? The great Lord Neji would never actually joke with some worthless non-Hyūga. Right?"
"Of course not. Especially not of your clan—your brother has made it perfectly clear that the Gōketsu completely lack the capacity to appreciate the refined humor of the Hyūga."
"I'll tell him you said that. He lives to spar with you and I'm sure it will inspire him to new heights of creativity at your next meeting."
"You should also tell him to expect another humiliation."
"Sure." Hazō took the other hummingbird and crunched it up, savoring the flavors and allowing the shared moment of (grantedly bitter-edged) camaraderie to solidify in the air. "Anyway, I wanted to get your take on something, Summoner to Summoner."
Neji's expression became guarded again.
"Here's the deal," Hazō said. "If all the summoners in Leaf work together, we can create an instantaneous transportation network between all the Summon Clans and anywhere in Fire, allowing us—meaning the Summoners and also our clans and Leaf as a whole—to become vastly wealthy. With the Hokage's permission we could even branch out into allied nations such as Sand, Grass, and so on. All we have to do is get embassies set up between all of our various Summon Clans. For example, I arrange for Canoe to be stationed in Turtle country. I summon her and give her a storage scroll full of whatever. She unsummons back to the embassy and hands that scroll to a turtle. You summon that turtle and he gives you the storage scroll. Alternatively, you and I can meet in person by getting reverse-summoned back to the embassy."
"'All we have to do' is get embassies set up between our respective Summon Clans?" Neji parroted in disbelief. "The Turtles are a thousand miles or more from the Dogs, separated by multiple other Clans with whom they are not allied and a major mountain range. They are nearly as far from the Monkeys. They are merely several hundred miles from the Toads, with whom they have no alliance."
"This is a strategic intelligence weapon for Leaf and for the various Clans, as well as a source of income for everyone involved," Hazō noted, falling back to section 7.a.1 of his Mari- and Keiko-approved script. "It's going to happen, the only question is who comes in at the start and who gets left out.
"I've already spoken with Asuma about the potential and now I'm talking with the various summoners to get the details hammered out before I go back to him for his signoff. Either the Summoners push their Clans to get involved or the Clans will hear the offer and push their Summoner to get involved, but it's too advantageous for anyone to skip out on. Again, the only question is who is onboard at the start and therefore gets the largest share of the profit."
Hazō studied Neji carefully before choosing which part of the script to move to next. "You understand that this deal is between the Summoners, right? Only those of us who have travelled through the Paths are worthy, and only we have the knowledge to make it work. The arrangement will be approved by the Hokage and all military intelligence gained will be presented to him immediately, but it's a deal between individuals. How you involve the rest of the Hyūga is up to you—obviously you shouldn't conceal it from them, but you can choose your own approach."
The problem with the Byakugan is that those who are using it do not need to look you in the eyes to read your reactions, since they can simultaneously see your eyes, heart, lungs, stomach, muscular system, and even your spleen. Also, every Hyūga was given extensive practice at maintaining a completely blank expression so as not to give away what their cheating eyeballs were discovering.
"And what exactly will I be getting as one of the members of this deal?" Neji asked suspiciously.
"An absolute ass-ton of money. The basic idea is that we're enabling people to trade with one another who wouldn't have been able to otherwise and we take a percentage of every transaction. For example, one of the Toad Sages wanted to buy pipeweed from Turtle. If they sell him a hundred ryō worth of pipeweed, we take twenty ryō and the Turtles get eighty. The twenty gets split between all the Summoners in the network and any other partners we bring in."
Neji's Hyūga training was insufficient to prevent the frown of confusion. "What?"
"Okay, let me try it again." He pushed dishes and condiments around until the center of the table was clear. "Let's say that we start with you, me, and Noburi." He placed a salt shaker, a pepper shaker, and an empty sake cup in the cleared space.
"I want to be the pepper."
"Fine, you're the pepper. I'll be the cup and Noburi can be the salt." He produced three meeples from his pocket and held them up. (Having a well-stocked gaming closet was helpful when looking for appropriate symbolic markers!) "Now, each of us is the representative for our Summon Clan. You stand for the Turtles." He placed the blue meeple down next to the pepper shaker. "I stand for the Dogs." The red meeple took its place next to the cup. "And Noburi stands for the Toads." He set the green meeple next to the salt shaker.
"Let's say that the Dogs want to sell the Toads some hides. They give me a storage scroll full of the stuff." Hazō turned his hand to reveal the rolled-up ball of grass he'd been palming and mimed passing it from the red meeple to the sake cup. "I give it to Noburi"—the ball transferred from the cup to the salt shaker—"and he gives it to the Toads." It completed its journey to the green meeple. "The Toads send a thousand ryō back the other way." He reached into his pocket and produced a group of coins laced onto a string. "We take twenty percent." He slipped two of the coins off and set them aside. "The rest go from the Toads to Noburi to me to the Dogs." The string of coins completed its journey.
"Now, that twenty percent gets split between all the Summoners in the group. In this case that means that you, me, and Noburi split two hundred ryō, so we each get sixty-six ryō."
"I did nothing. Why am I getting money?"
"Because the value of the network goes up every time a new Summoner joins. Your participation means that everyone can buy and sell goods with the Turtle Clan, which they couldn't do otherwise. Splitting the profits evenly keeps our interests aligned." He studied Neji for a moment, then gestured dismissively. "The details are still up in the air. Maybe a twenty percent fee is too high—maybe we only take ten percent, or even five. Maybe we split the profits between the Summoners and a company run by the Merchant Council, making them be responsible for doing necessary market research, finding products for us to sell, and so on. Again, the idea is for this to be mostly hands-off for us. We do one or two daily summons at a pre-arranged time, pass storage scrolls around, and get paid. We aren't merchants and we shouldn't pretend to be; finding the goods and doing the haggling is someone else's job, we just give them the chance to do it."
Neji frowned. "This is dishonest. You're stealing from these people, slicing off their earnings."
"Nope. Everything is completely aboveboard. They know how much we're going to take and agree to it. Right now the Turtles can't sell to the Dogs at all, so every ryō they make by way of the network is money they wouldn't have had otherwise. So what if they earn eight hundred instead of a thousand ryō? They're still ending up ahead. And so are the Dogs, who wouldn't have been able to get the Turtles' products without us."
"It's too much. We shouldn't be taking that much when we're doing nothing."
"We are doing something. We are providing a service and that service has value." He paused for a moment. "Imagine a civilian village is having a problem...let's say that chakra voles that have been killing people. The village posts a pest-clearing mission for a thousand ryō. You take the mission—"
"Why would I take such a ridiculous mission?"
"Humor me. Anyway, you take the mission. You're a Hyūga with a powerful Byakugan, so it won't take you more than five minutes to find the warren and another five, if that, to destroy all the voles. Ten minutes, no risk, no effort. A thousand ryō is a lot of money to a bunch of villagers. Are they going to feel like you cheated them out of their money?"
"Obviously not. I saved their lives when they could not have saved their own."
Hazō spread his hands. "There you go."
Neji considered that. "The Summon Clans will not feel cheated because they could not have made the trades without us."
"Right."
"Interesting."
"Any questions?"
"...Not at the moment."
"Well, like I said, everything is still up in the air at this point. Right now I'm basically just figuring out who wants to be at the meeting when we sit down to figure out what percentage we're taking, what schedule we're summoning on, how we coordinate sales and distribute profits, and all that. I'll warn you: I'm going to push for the idea that people get a lower cut the later they come in, so if you think you're interested then it would be a good idea to say so now."
Neji digested that for a moment.
"Let me know when the meeting is," he said. "I'll be there."
I ended up not rolling this, mostly because you did a good enough job that I didn't feel like I had to. You had two Aspects lined up and FP allocated to invoke them. You had an entire stage set to highlight your own wealth, concern and respect for Neji, and the value of your offer. I figured that Neji was probably feeling a little weird at the idea that this deal was with him and not with the Hyūga directly but that is only enough to make him wary, not opposed. He doesn't have the socials to beat you when you've stacked the deck this hard and he's not going to break off negotiation on something that he isn't firmly opposed to, so I simply went ahead and gave you the win. Good job.
Community Chest: QM error in your favor! Collect research shifts! You requested that the update be 3 days and down in the Misc section you continued researching the chakdar seal. I did the rolls first (giving you credit for 3 days prep time), entered them into the research record, and started writing the chapter. Then I realized that it really should have only been 2 days of prep because the rules are that you get bonuses based on the number of days spent preparing before (not including) the day you make the attempt. Then I got most of the chapter written and realized that it should have been 0 days of prep because in order to fulfill what was in the plan you had to spend most of the first day on the Seventh Path learning about dog culture and Kakashi, then spend most of the second day on the meeting with Neji (planning it with the clan, finding his tastes and ensuring the menu was appropriate, then having the meeting itself). This leaves one day to do the sealing attempt with zero days of prep.
Eh. The numbers are small and I can't be bothered to go back and change it, so you guys get a few shifts of success that you shouldn't have. Hazō estimates that he's getting close to a solution and another week or two should wrap it up, as long as he stays dedicated to his research. For future, remember that if you want the time bonus for preparation then the day cannot include significant other activities such as hanging out with Dogs, talking with clan heads, etc. It's intended to be an actual optimization decision that carries opportunity costs, not a footnote in the SOP.
You spoke to Noburi and suggested he get moving on finding some combat summons. His response was "Duh." The Toads are being cagey but he's trying.
You read through more of Jiraiya's journals, looking for information on Orochimaru. You found a lot of stuff that made you miss Jiraiya and nothing that was helpful.
XP AWARD: 10
FP AWARD: 1 For social victory over Neji. (The net is -1 because you spent 2 during the conversation.)
Brevity XP: 2@Velorien and I still haven't sat down and hashed out whether brevity awards are supposed to be per day or per plan. I'm awarding 2 instead of 1 in order to split the difference.
"GM had fun" XP: 0 No strong feelings about these scenes one way or the other.
It is now about 10pm.
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, August 12, 2020, at 12pm London time.
Shikamaru closed the door behind him as he left the room. Hazō waited the extra few seconds for the thunk of the red plaque outside sliding into place. This was more symbolic than anything else, given that he'd requested the kind of privacy where nobody else would be so much as allowed inside the building (and Shikamaru had rolled his eyes at the implicit insult to Nara discretion but complied without further comment), but every little helped when it came to calming Hazō's nerves in advance of this dangerous conversation.
"Keiko," he began, "suppose there were a new Gōketsu clan secret. A Super Ultra Gōketsu Clan Secret that, potentially, could be bigger than skywalkers."
Keiko carefully set her cup of Nara-brand green tea down on the coffee table between them. "You have my wary attention."
"Suppose there would be catastrophic consequences if anyone outside the main Gōketsu family were to find out, and it was the kind of secret where you'd have to take active steps to conceal it once you knew, rather than just not bringing it up in conversation. Given that, and the fact that you're constantly surrounded by geniuses who can probably deduce an espionage mission's worth of secrets from a single careless sentence, would you want to learn that secret if I told you that you'd stand to gain something from knowing it?"
"Yes," Keiko said with startling speed, not even taking a moment to think.
"Are you sure?" Hazō asked. "I am serious about how important this is. I'd really rather you took a little time to think about it."
"What is there to think about, Hazō?" Keiko asked. "My entire life, I have been the sole confidant to a woman whose mildest daydreams would set the world aflame. While I am indeed surrounded by geniuses who force me to cringe at my own inadequacy on a daily basis, I am also the Nara second-in-command, with the authority to punish or swear to secrecy as I will. Per Nara consort laws, I report only to Shikamaru, and you may have gathered our marriage has an unconventional balance of power, insofar as I am not only his wife but a leader of a separate power bloc capable of forcing unprecedented concessions from the Hokage and striking fear into the heart of great clans. And while he theoretically has absolute authority over me in non-political matters, he and I both know that I can make his life a living hell should he choose to exercise it in a way that denies my agency. In the utmost extremity, I can divorce him and return to the Gōketsu—we both researched the legal procedures extensively during our engagement—and it is a fact that there is no other woman in Leaf twisted in ways that so finely complement his own.
"If I implement whatever security procedures such a cataclysmic secret requires, suffice to say they will be respected."
Hazō considered. Based on observation, he found it hard to deny that Shikamaru was whipped as husbands went, quite an accomplishment given that Keiko was legally required to obey literally any order he gave (Nara arrangements with the Gōketsu and the KEI notwithstanding) on pain of literally any punishment he chose to mete out (ditto). On the other hand, if Shikamaru found out anything about FOOM, and realised its value, he would probably judge it important enough to the clan to accept certain sacrifices in his personal life for his greater good. Would Hazō reluctantly accept a divorce for the sake of godhood for himself and his loved ones?
Akane's face flickered through his mind. They still hadn't had that conversation—he'd been busy, and maybe a little afraid of the future, now the initial drive of righteous anger had worn off, and Akane was naturally sensitive enough to give him space even though part of him wished she weren't. Would he be able to completely break his bond with her for the greater good?
And then there was the idea of Keiko, his sister, a Gōketsu who'd made a greater sacrifice than any of them when the clan was founded, being left out in the cold while the rest of them won the power to change the world…
"Supposing there was a way to get the benefits without knowing the details…" he began.
Keiko sagged back in her seat ever so slightly, enough that someone who hadn't spent so long around her might not have noticed.
"You'd have to trust me," he pressed on, "to do things without knowing why you're doing them, but I think it would work. And it would definitely be worth it."
Now Keiko fell silent, and thought. She didn't meet his eyes.
"Assuming your guidance falls within the bounds of sanity," she said quietly, "it would be an improvement on not being trusted at all."
Hazō inwardly winced. That hadn't been the impression he'd meant to give, not at all, though on reflection, "Here is a thing I could tell you, but I won't even if you tell me you want it" wasn't his most tactful moment. Still, he'd come to this meeting precommitted not to tell her the full truth, at least not yet.
"If you go ahead with this," he said, "your priorities are to train up the Shadow Clone Technique, to the point where you can have clones up for at least a few hours, and work on your mental fortitude for reintegrating the information. It won't work without both of those things.
"Oh," he added, "but I know the Shadow Clone Technique means more to you than it does to us because of Snowflake. If this gets in the way of that, then maybe you should put it off for now. There's no great hurry."
Keiko shook her head. "Extending the duration of the technique has been my highest training priority, since it determines the length of time Snowflake can spend in this world. But if you will allow me a moment…"
She closed her eyes. Her hands folded in her lap as she entered the characteristic mildly unnerving stillness of the Frozen Skein.
"I see," she said a little later. "Your secret is centred on the Shadow Clone Technique, which would be absurdly powerful, as Naruto demonstrates, but for its three limitations: duration of use which limits out-of-combat applications, chakra capacity which limits the number of clones and recasting ability, and mental resilience which limits both the duration of use and number of clones. Of these, you have not instructed me to train my chakra capacity. The Gōketsu competitive advantage of chakra transfusion would indeed potentially eliminate the need, leaving the other two as limitations to be addressed with training.
"However, secrecy implies that Noburi would not be purchasing chakra from out-of-clan ninja as he typically does. Assuming your plan is not mere redistribution of chakra within the clan, which would hardly have impact worthy of a Super Ultra Gōketsu Clan Secret, you would need a non-shinobi source. The Wakahisa chakra koi we negotiated for alongside the clan's influence on Ami's fate—of which, incidentally, Ami detected none—would fulfil that role nicely."
Hazō was becoming increasingly aware that one of his worst habits, and perhaps the most likely to someday get him killed, was underestimating ninja more intelligent than himself.
"Hazō, it would take years to approach Naruto's level, even with total investment of time and effort. During that time, it would be trivial for someone to notice the clan using more shadow clones than anyone ever has before. Even if you managed to keep training on that scale completely concealed, they might simply notice power growth wildly inconsistent with the passage of time and training resources available. Recognising power levels is, of course, a basic shinobi survival skill. From there, the erudite would assume shadow clone use was involved, if only because it is the most efficacious method of accelerated training known, and everyone in Leaf witnessed Naruto's rise to power firsthand. In fact, I imagine it would be a common assumption even if in reality the method used was completely unrelated.
"Noburi's basic abilities are public knowledge. Anyone whose inferences reached that far would seek out the Wakahisa, or another clan with similar capabilities. There are, after all, plenty of bloodlines across the world that manipulate chakra in one way or another. Given time, Orochimaru could probably jury-rig the process on request, or on his own initiative, assuming he does not already possess the capability. Nor would I be surprised if there were researchers out there who were his equal in at least one related field. I could continue, but I believe the point is clear. Which is not to say I do not sympathise with the very Jiraiya-like desire to bring Uplift to the world at the end of an unstoppable fist."
She held up her hand before Hazō could comment.
"Do not take it as criticism. I am not so naïve as to believe that grand ambitions can be accomplished without trampling over the wills of multitudes. History is silent as to how many independent-minded clans were massacred so that the nascent Leaf could have absolute dominion over the Fire Country, but double figures are a safe assumption."
"There might be kinks to work out," Hazō agreed. "No one's ever done anything remotely like this before, so it's not like there's a model to follow. But I don't know if I'd ever forgive myself as a ninja if I saw a path to power—an ethically-neutral, rational path to power—and turned away because of hypothetical risks instead of facing them head-on and finding ways to overcome them."
Keiko nodded, but didn't reply.
They sat there in a silence that gradually grew more awkward.
"Are we too far gone?" she asked suddenly, as if forcing out the words.
Hazō stared at her blankly. "What do you mean?"
"Have we drifted too far apart to be the family we believed we were?"
"Keiko, what do you—"
"There was a time," she said, "when whenever you had one of your brilliant new ideas, you would seek me out, and I would explain to you, with much sarcasm, the countless reasons why it would never work, and then bring forth writing implements and spend hours optimising until the final product was ready to see the light of day without bringing unbearable shame on all who so much as considered being involved in its implementation. That time is gone. Today, the plans are developed and finalised by the true Gōketsu, and you hesitate to so much as share them with me lest doing so imperil the clan.
"I recognise my culpability," she said heavily. "I was too preoccupied with proving to the Nara that I was more than a mediocre foreign curiosity, and when the crises struck, I recognised that I could be needed, and took advantage of the opportunity to become as close to indispensable as my capabilities would allow. I was too invested in my role with the KEI, and the longed-for opportunity to prove to my sister that I was more than a child in need of guardianship. It is I who turned away from my first family for greener pastures, to people who 'recognised my worth' instead of loving me for who I was.
"Is it too late, Hazō?" she asked. "Is this the distance between us now?"
Her words stabbed at Hazō like knives. Was she right? Was there a distance? Was it her imagination, or was it something he'd allowed to happen without realising it? Had he failed to find the balance between treating her as a Nara and treating her as his sister?
"It's never too late," he said with total confidence summoned because there were some things which had to be said with total confidence. "It's my fault too, Keiko. There's been so much to do, and… well, I'm still learning the clan head thing. I know Shikamaru wants to keep the Gōketsu at arm's length because he thinks we're politically unreliable, but I'm not a born clan ninja. I have no sense for how close allied clans are supposed to be, or allowed to be. No, you're not supposed to be a ninja of another clan in the first place. You're a Gōketsu, and I should have trusted you to be no less of a Gōketsu just because you're married to a Nara."
Keiko shook her head. "No, I am the one who undermined that trust. I have been acting like a Nara. I believed that it was necessary, that if I did not make a sufficient effort, I would be judged only on my intellectual merits, and therefore rejected as I was by the Mori. When the opportunity came to be needed by Shikamaru, not merely as a friend but as a source of competence and support, I seized it like a drowning woman seizing a Hoshigaki rescue shark. The Gōketsu, after all, were untouched by the disaster. You did not need me, and it did not occur to me that perhaps you might desire me anyway.
"I am only now realising the depths of my failure as a sister and as a friend. I will not ask whether you still want me in your life, for the rolled-up broadsheet is a mighty teacher, but I do not know whether there is still a place for me to return to, or whether this is who we are now, for time without end."
Hazō suppressed a groan. "Keiko, you have not failed anyone at anything. It takes two people to decide what shape a relationship will have—more, if it's someone's relationship with their family. If we're growing too far apart, then there's still plenty of time to fix that. Think about how long it took us to grow this close in the first place. This time, you don't even have to tell me and Noburi that you kissed a girl."
"No, I believe you are quite well aware. As is the entirety of Leaf, now. I have not… enjoyed leaving the compound.
"But forget that. Do you mean it, Hazō? You believe, in the face of all the evidence, that there remains room for recovery?"
Hazō nodded. "I don't think we've grown as far apart as you think. The shadow clone thing… I just got my priorities wrong. But can you honestly tell me that it's a sign of dramatic change in our relationship that I've put my foot in it and offended you because I got too excited about my latest idea?"
Keiko gave a small smile. "Touché."
There was another silence, but this one more peaceable. Hazō sipped his tea, which had gone stone cold. Keiko helped herself to a biscuit.
"Hazō…" Keiko said cautiously, "in the extreme hypothetical, and not without your explicit consent…"
Hazō tensed.
"If Ami were to gain access to the Shadow Clone Technique, would it be possible for me to involve her in your plan?"
The idea had, of course, crossed Hazō's mind, complete with a dozen alarm seals blaring cacophonously.
"Setting aside the absolute impossibility of Ami learning the Shadow Clone Technique without getting executed, together with whoever taught her… I'm sorry, Keiko. I don't know if I could entrust that kind of power to someone whose motivations are so opaque."
"Does that mean you might reconsider if you were persuaded that your goals were not incompatible?" Keiko asked keenly.
"I don't know, Keiko. It's not something I can offer a commitment on."
Keiko nodded. "I will ask her to speak with you. For the general purposes of greater mutual understanding, of course."
"What's the worst that could happen?" Hazō asked wryly. "But Keiko, she's not going to get the Shadow Clone Technique. It's not happening. It's one of Leaf's greatest secrets. In fact, please tell me you're not thinking of teaching her."
Keiko arched an eyebrow. "Hazō, my desire to re-embrace my Gōketsu roots does not extend to the newly-popular hobby of treason. As you yourself observe, it would not be a net positive to her odds of survival. Unless, of course, she were to defect to Leaf."
"You're not serious."
"She has not spoken of the possibility herself, though of course it would be suicide to do so where she could be overheard. But her relationship with Mist has changed. The Mizukage, whom she previously saw as a fellow player, has acted like a despicable thug, so desperate to assert her authority that she would destroy all loyalty from her most powerful potential ally save the Hokage. In my judgement, the present situation, where Ami's survival depends on suppressing everything that makes her Ami and hoping that this is enough to keep an irrational dictator placated, is untenable in the long term."
"The Hokage couldn't take her," Hazō objected. "It would destroy the alliance."
"Yes," Keiko said with a smirk, "no Hokage would ever court the Mizukage's wrath by inviting in a renegade Mist jōnin.
"The pros for the Hokage are obvious. Considering what Ami has accomplished on foreign ground in less than half a year, he must by now have wondered what she might be capable of if her talents could be turned towards his own objectives, and her betterment of Leaf given motivation beyond her personal profit. He would certainly rest easier than he does now, when at any moment Mist can order her to secretly use the influence she has accumulated against Leaf's interests—assuming it has not done so already."
"Mist would be losing a jōnin," Hazō objected. "That's an unacceptable hit in military terms and a massive security leak."
"Insofar as Ami was Mari's junior—and, she suspects, planned replacement—they would have had clearance for approximately the same materials, and while the information being leaked would be more up-to-date, it grows less so with every month Ami spends in Leaf. As to the military terms, Ami's jōnin powers do nothing for Mist while she is here, and the Mizukage seems in no hurry to call her back. In practical terms, it would be closer to Leaf gaining a jōnin, which would be no source of joy for the Mizukage, the nature of shinobi alliances being what it is, but less of a deal-breaker than it might be if the defector were, say, Hōzuki Mangetsu. Additionally, I do not believe the Mizukage would be heartbroken at the damage done to the AMI by its leader's prospective betrayal, or at the opportunity to humble the Mori."
Hazō shook his head. "I don't know…"
"This is all an exercise in hypotheticals, of course," Keiko said, "but what I would ask is whether the loss of Ami would be worth losing the alliance—or, rather, whether Asuma would believe the loss of Ami to be grave enough for Mist to abandon the alliance in response, rather than merely demand reparations.
"In any case, it is a consideration for another time. For now, I shall arrange another meeting with my sister for you. May you be more successful in determining her motivations than any other shinobi in human history."
-o-
Shikamaru is mildly intrigued by the Seventh Path trade plan, and will run projections. Keiko gave you a look of the purest ice when you mentioned ferrying seals across the Seventh Path, but did not object to the proposal overall. You suspect that a Conversation on the topic of acceptable trade goods lies in the future.
The Nara engineers are happy, indeed excited (by Nara standards, which is to say they briefly stopped slouching) to collaborate on such a unique engineering project. Since it has no "real-world" implications whatsoever, Shikamaru handwaved it and immediately lost interest in favour of another biscuit. Keiko gave you a second look of the purest ice at your appeal to emotion. According to her, she has no investment in your relationship with the Dogs, but you and she both know that invasion is the last thing on the recently-occupied Hyenas' minds, unless it is of the Pangolin Clan.
Keiko mentioned off-handedly that if you happen to come across anyone in need of textiles, you should most certainly direct them to the Hagoromo workshops in the near future, especially if the people involved are influential and/or high-profile.
-o-
You have received 4 XP.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting closes on Saturday 15th of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
"Ugh." Hazō shook his hand out to get rid of the cramps from signing form after form. "Gaku, have I told you how grateful I am to have you?"
"Thank you, sir. This is the last of the funding authorizations, if you'll sign here?"
Hazō skimmed through the form and then dashed his signature at the bottom. "Hark, do mine eyes deceive me? Is that actually the bottom of the stack?"
Gaku's thin lips twitched. "Yes sir. We're done. The paperwork has been defeated for today."
"Good news, good news." With a tired sigh he leaned his chair back, balancing effortlessly on the rear two legs as he rubbed his face. "Oh, I checked in with the skyslider team."
"Yes?"
"Yeah. They were good boys and girls while I was there but I think there's still some resentment getting in the way. Have Kimmi keep an eye on them, okay?"
"Of course, sir. Was it an enjoyable visit otherwise?"
"Actually, yes. They talked my ear off about wings and tails and feather designs and a lot of other stuff that went in one ear and out the other. Still, they seemed to enjoy having me there and I did some ego-stroking. Told them their job was the future of Leaf and everyone was counting on them, etcetera etcetera. Took them out for dinner to the Jaybird."
"I shall keep an eye out for the receipts, sir. No further cases of food poisoning, I trust?"
"Not that I saw. They seemed to enjoy it well enough."
"I'm glad to hear that, sir."
"Yeah, me too. Anyway, any further news on the telescope merchant? Or glass makers in general?"
"No further news on the telescope fellow, I fear. We have located a family of glassblowers in Tanzaku Gai. The father makes housewares—plates, pitchers, cups, things of that sort. His daughter is branching out into selling small knickknacks for rich men to put on their shelves."
"Cool. Figure out what it will take to convince them to move here and make it happen. Give them whatever they need for research. I want to be able to make telescopes."
"Yes sir."
"Is Mari back from her spa trip?" He forced himself to not put any emphasis on 'spa trip'. Mari's note saying that she was off to Hot Springs had been elegantly written, perfectly phrased, accompanied by an entirely plausible itinerary, and complete nonsense. Gōketsu Mari did not go off on vacation when there was politics and skulduggery to be had at home.
"Yes sir. Came in late last night." The last words were muddled by a jaw-cracking yawn.
"Sorry for making you get up so early," Hazō said, abashed. "I'm hitting the books with Kagome-sensei today and I wanted to clear the decks beforehand."
"No"—yawn—"trouble at all, sir. It's what I'm here for."
"Well, I still appreciate it. Anyway, I'd like to get with the two of you to talk about our chocolate monopoly and the fact that we're about to lose it because of this new harvest from the field that didn't get flooded. I'd appreciate it if the two of you would put together a plan—should we buy the land? Burn the crop? Do we buy up the chocolate first or not worry about it? The two of you put a proposal together and let's talk the day after tomorrow, first thing in the morning before I need to get to research."
Gaku gave no appearance of being anything other than sanguine about more 5AM meetings. "Of course, sir."
"Oh, and if the plan is destructive make sure no farmers are left destitute afterwards."
"Of course, sir."
"In general, tell her to make sure the whole thing is in line with Uplift. She'll understand the details of what I mean by that."
"Of course, sir."
"Thanks, Gaku."
"It's what I'm here for, sir. In other news, late last night Miss Keiko replied to your invitation. She is delighted to accompany you in clearing out the mine, but she is unable to leave for the next three days."
"That's actually good, since I want to do some more research on this chakra-sensing seal. I'm close. I can feel it."
"If I may make a request, sir?"
"Sure, what?"
"Please do not destroy the world. It's where I keep my books."
"Well, since you ask so nicely..."
o-o-o-o
July 31, 1069 AS, post-action review of seal infusion attempt
"No, no, no!" Kagome-sensei shouted, grabbing the chalk and using it to draw overly dramatic arrows indicating relevant parts of Hazō's proposed seal design. "It failed because this is a hexalink and it needs to be a heptalink, because a hexalink won't be stable in this configuration! It needs—"
"A hexalink will be fine!" Hazō snapped back. "Plus it reduces cthonostatic tension all through this arc." He gestured at the southwest quadrant.
"A hexalink will not be fine!"
"Yes, it will! The..." Hazō trailed off, groping for the right words. The subtle arts of sealing had become so much clearer to him since his experience with the Summoning Scroll. The interaction between his bloodline and the ancient artifact had divorced him from his body and left him drifting through the ultimate reality that undergirded the layer of paint that was what he thought of as the 'real' world. When Hazō had returned from his spiritual venture he had brought back fuzzy impressions of how the two realities interacted, and they had been tremendously helpful in knowing why seals did what they did. Unfortunately, although his new intuitions were usually reliable, they did not come with convenient labels that would allow them to be easily communicated.
"Hah! See! You can't describe it, so it's wrong!"
"That is not how logic works!"
"Logic?! Logic?! We're sealmasters! We both recognize—and it better be both of us!—that a skew-join trinary linking will convert to a quaternary when it's infused under a three-quarters waxing moon and will invert itself if infused under a three-quarters waning moon! Since when is logic even remotely relevant?!"
"Logic is absolutely relevant! How can you possibly think that logic is not relevant?! That's insane! How else are we supposed to—"
Hazō cut himself off at the sound of a very tentative knock on the door. Both sealmasters looked to see what the interruption was, only to find that it appeared to consist of a single eye and a sliver of a nine-year-old boy's head, the rest concealed behind the doorjamb.
"What's up, Masato?" Hazō asked, forcing himself to smile and speak gently.
The boy leaned out so that more of him was visible, then stepped into view when he saw that the crazy senior ninja were temporarily done being loud and scary. Scarier.
"Please, M'Lord, we're being attacked! Captain Atomu said to run and tell you that there were Mist ninja at the gates and I don't want to get eaten! Please don't let them eat me, M'Lord!"
Instinctively, Hazō grabbed Kagome-sensei's arm. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it seemed like the thing to do.
"Masato, it's okay. We're not going to let anyone do anything bad to you, okay?"
Giant wide-eyed nod.
"Can you tell me exactly what Atomu said?"
"Yes, M'Lord. I was training with Kimmi near the west gate. She's been working on Goddess Plucks the Rose, which I think is a stupid form because—"
"Skip ahead, please. What did Atomu say?"
"Sorry sir. He said to run and get you and tell you that there were foreign ninja from Mist at the gate and may he please kill them all? They've got a bunch of really big carts that they won't let him look inside and he's afraid they might be explosives."
Hazō exchanged nervous glances with Kagome-sensei before both of them vanished into the blur of top ninja speed.
o-o-o-o
"And I don't care if you're the second coming of the First Fucking Hokage, if you fish fuckers take one step closer to my gate then my men and I will blast you to dust!" Atomu bellowed as Hazō and Kagome-sensei arrived.
"Listen, you ignorant little troll," shouted the blue-clad man below, "I don't know who you are, but my Lord is doing your Lord an unbelievable favor. Keeping us standing out here where it's at risk of disclosure to the whole world, or—"
"What seems to be the problem?" Hazō asked, jumping up to the wall and then down on the other side of the closed gate. From the corner of his eye he saw Kagome-sensei stop at the top of the wall and pull throwing disks into each hand.
The Gōketsu estate's wall was moderately impressive—originally a six-foot high mass of granite ten inches thick, daily applications of the Multiple Earth Wall jutsu had enlarged it to be twenty feet high and a full three feet thick, stretching in an unbroken red-granite wave around the entire many-acre expanse of the estate. Despite those increases, it was still dwarfed by the massive towering escarpment that was the Wall of Leaf. The Wall originally raised by the First Hokage, that towered and loomed and left its imprimatur on history. And also left the vegetable garden in the shade too much of the day, so which numbskull had chosen to plant here of all places? No, think about that later.
"Ah, Lord Gōketsu, finally. I am Wakahisa Wataru."
Wakahisa was a squat, stubby man shaped much like the barrel that he wore on his back. His silk robes were a pale blue, the folds perfectly crisp; he must have donned them no more than minutes before approaching the Gōketsu gate, as there was no way such finery remained so clean on the road. The dandyish clothing did an excellent job hiding the shape and size of his body, including concealing his hands inside overly long sleeves. They did not, however, conceal the fact that Wakahisa's neck was a solid block of muscle with no visible fat.
Behind him stood a bizarre sight: Six massive covered wagons, each one essentially a mobile fortress. The wagons were pulled by two brace of oxen apiece, with a driver and a guard sitting on the buckboard. The guards wore Mist ninja headbands while the drivers were bare-headed and presumably civilians. Two dozen other civilians in homespun accompanied the group on foot, looking tired and travel-stained.
"Your Lordship, would you please tell your man here that I am expected and he can stop with his ridiculous threats?"
Hazō studied the wagons for a moment longer, still baffled by the size of them. No civilian trade caravan he'd ever seen used anything nearly that big. They would mire at the slightly touch of rain and even with four oxen they had to be slow as molasses. In fact, they could only conceivably be used for travel if the caravan were accompanied by a large number of ninja to defend it, and the ninja brought with them a large number of storage scrolls full of fodder to feed the oxen. Under the circumstances, it was inconceivable that they could be profitable.
"My Lord?" Wakahisa said tentatively. "You were expecting me, yes? Lady Sadaharu and her escort were sent ahead a month ago."
"I'm sorry," Hazō said, shaking his head. "I don't know who that is. We haven't had any visitors from Mist."
"Oh." For a moment, Wakahisa seemed utterly confounded. "Well...perhaps I could come in and we could sort it out?"
"Why exactl—oh." Hazō nodded thoughtfully. "Are you bringing me the Wakahisa half of the deal I made with Yasuji?"
Wakahisa nodded. "I am indeed, sir. Although we may have a problem if Lady Sadaharu never arrived. She was supposed to do the preliminary setup for the receiving facilities. I am a junior piscitist; I'm comfortable with doing simple maintenance tasks on the road but managing your entire facility is beyond me." He glanced over his shoulder at the wagons. "I would be grateful if we could move this conversation inside? I've dragged these things across two hundred miles of ocean and then some ungodly number of miles of dense forest and I would hate to lose them now. Also, there's some time pressure. You will need to use my cargo within the next week, two at the absolute most."
"Right. Open the gate! Wakahisa, we'll be taking your wagons up to the north end of the estate. There's a stream there and we're going to want the koi isolated from everything else. Atomu, send someone to find Noburi and tell him to meet us there on the double. Then find Gaku. Tell him he needs to organize a logistical effort on the level of constructing one of our apartment complexes and he needs to get it done in forty-eight hours. After he finishes freaking out, help him pack up whatever he needs and then bring him to the stream at ninja speed. Go."
"Gōketsu!" Atomu slapped his fist to his chest in salute and Substituted away.
"Wakahisa, welcome to the Gōketsu estate," Hazō said, gesturing invitation as the massive gate slowly creaked open.
o-o-o-o
"I'm here, sir!" Gaku said, stumbling a bit as he slid off of Atomu's back. "Thank you, Captain. That was terrifying."
Atomu chuckled. "My daughter likes it."
"With the greatest respect, Captain: I have no idea how old your daughter is, but I suspect that I am a bit older and creakier."
"Thank you, Atomu," Hazō said. "Another set of details for you: I need three ninja messengers dispatched.
"The first messenger goes to the Tower. I want two dozen chakra-battery missions and two construction missions for ninja with Multiple Earth Wall. Post the missions at top rate and then wait around; if one of the MEW ninja shows up and sees the mission but the rate is too low, just pay them what they want.
"The other two messengers go into the city. Find candidates for the missions and send them to the board to sign up. We're not waiting for people to happen by. Start the chakra-battery search with the KEI—the organization, not the clan. Gaku, check your records on the MEW specialists we worked with before. I remember there were a couple that were good but I don't remember their names."
"Yes, My Lord." / "Gōketsu!"
Atomu and Gaku moved a few steps away; Atomu started unsealing most of Gaku's office, including his chair and a small desk. Gaku immediately began riffling through papers.
Hazō turned back to Wakahisa. "All right, now—"
"I can't find him, My Lord!" Shōta shouted, waving his skinny seven-year-old arms frantically as he ran up. "He's not in his quarters or the dining hall or on the training field or anywhere! He's gone!"
"Shōta!" Atomu snapped. "We do not interrupt His Lordship like that!"
Hazō blinked, taking a moment to remember that Shōta had been sent to look for Noburi. "Thank you, Shōta. He's probably in the city. Atomu, please have one of the older ninja find him."
"Gōketsu!"
That was starting to get a little old. Atomu had always been grateful to be allowed to live on the estate and serve, despite not being adopted. When it was explained to him that the clan only had so many adoption tickets and he would be adopted as soon as one became available, he had become a bit too eager to prove himself worthy of being moved up the adoption queue. Technically, it was probably either illegal or rude for him to be using the clan name as an acknowledgement of orders—illegal if it were viewed as invoking his connection to the shared spirit that was a clan bond, rude if it were considered that he was simply shouting Hazō's surname at him. Either way, Hazō wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.
Come to think of it, he should probably do something about the other clanless ninja who had been living on the estate ever since the Collapse. They had to be feeling uncertain about their place now that things had calmed down. Still, that was a problem for another day.
"Excuse me for the distractions," Hazō said, turning back to Wakahisa. "I want to make sure that we have everything we need. Honestly, I have no idea how you pulled this off."
The caravan had creaked its way through the gates with great effort. The ground inside the gate was loamy and the massive wagons would have sunk themselves immovably if the carvan's porters had not put boards under the wheels, moving each board to the front again as the wagon moved off of it.
There must be a simpler way, Hazō thought to himself. Some kind of big oval board that went around all the wheels, maybe? No, that wouldn't work. He shook the thought away.
Once they had arrived at the spot that would be the future Gōketsu Chakra Koi pond the wagons had been halted, the oxen unhitched and led away, and the wagons partially disassembled.
As it happened, they were not actually 'wagons' in the conventional sense. They were essentially immense wooden crates wrapped around six only slightly less immense tubs of water, each one more than large enough for six people to soak in at once. In each tank swam one pair of koi.
"I count twelve fish," Hazō said calmly. "We bargained on twenty-five."
"My apologies, My Lord. We—"
"'Sir' is fine."
"Thank you, sir. We tried but it simply wasn't feasible. The fish require enormous amounts of food, and the quantities required increase very quickly as the size of the school increases. Furthermore, each fish requires a large amount of water to live in. If they are put in too small a space they become aggressive and even cannibalistic, but large tanks of water are heavy and hard to move overland. These tanks"—he waved at the soaking-tub sized things behind him—"are actually smaller than they should be. It's been an effort to manage the fish on the way.
"In any case, the solution was to ship six breeding pairs and a senior piscitist—that would be Lady Sadaharu—to manage the breeding and ensure maximum fertility. Lord Wakahisa has sent his formal apology and also authorization for you to have forty koi instead of twenty-five. He hopes this will suffice to maintain good relations between our clans."
"Hmm." Hazō pursed his lips in thought as he studied the two-foot fish that swam languidly around the tanks. "How long do they take to breed? How many offspring will we typically get?"
"Ordinarily, breeding season would already be upon us, but I have been delaying it while we were on the road by restricting the amount of food I give them, and also through use of some additives in their water. We can only do that for another week at the very most and then the fish must be allowed to breed or they will sicken.
"Once their season begins, the fish will mate repeatedly, but they will not be fertile unless conditions are correct—the amount of available space, an assured food supply, proper temperature and water flavorings, and various other factors that are secret to my arts. Assuming a productive match, each female will spawn up to a thousand eggs, of which perhaps half will actually bear fruit. The firstborn young will emerge ravenous and will preferentially eat the other eggs unless they are immediately transferred to a separate nursery. Even under optimal conditions, most of the young will die within a few days or a week. Any fishling that makes it for a month will probably make it to adulthood."
"And therefore we should expect...?"
"Oh! Yes, sorry sir. Under the care of a master piscitist it would be reasonable to expect perhaps twenty fishlings from each pair to make it to one month. If they live that long then the amount of care required drops tremendously and they will generally make it to adulthood unless something goes greatly wrong."
"How long do they live?"
"There are koi in the Wakahisa ponds that are older than I am, sir."
"Interesting. All right, how soon before they can generate chakra?"
Wakahisa hesitated. "Well, it depends..."
"Let me clarify the question," Hazō said quickly, eager to head off the string of caveats and equivocations that he saw looming. "I want to hear a specific number of months after birth that you would feel comfortable draining chakra from a koi for your own use assuming that you wanted to do so in a sustainable way that would not hurt the fish."
"Um...well... An adult koi—that is, a one-year-old—can have chakra drained from it every day without suffering any damage. Unfortunately, having their chakra levels fluctuate too much will delay or eliminate the fish's breeding cycle for the year, so we typically divide the fish by purpose—one set of pools for the breeders and one for the suppliers."
Hazō sighed. "Right. Okay, so we're going to need multiple different ponds. Lovely."
Wakahisa bent and dipped his hand into the flowing stream that cut through the north end of the Gōketsu estate. "This water is far too cold, sir. To be comfortable, koi want a temperature approximately that of a cool summer day. It needs to be slightly warmer for them to breed, so there will need to be a graduated series of pools." He shook his head in disbelief. "Lady Sadaharu truly never arrived?"
"She did not. I've already sent a search mission out to see if we can figure out what happened to her. In the meantime, you're the one who knows what you're doing and we need these fish functional and breeding this season. Tell us what you need to make that happen."
Wakahisa paled.
Author's Note: Hazō did seal research and made significant progress. Your plan did not specify whether or not to use FP so I decided to spend 2 ("Promising Sealing Student" and "Kagome Checked My Design"). Kagome consulted with you (and therefore supplied an Aspect for you to invoke) but did not have time to actually participate in the research proper since he's still doing the decoding and any scrap of time he's not decoding he is teaching his three students. (Based on the nature of his grumbling he is very pleased at their progress.)
At this point, Hazō pretty much has the seal nailed down and needs only to finalize the last couple of pieces, check for edge cases, and write up the report. He spent 4 days on it in this update and probably needs 4-7 more.
The situation with the koi doesn't require much input from Hazō—essentially the only thing he can do is authorize expenditures, and that doesn't require the hivemind's attention. You can be involved if there's something unusual you want to do, but it's fine to say "Enable the koi pond" and call it a day. Wakahisa will do his best to put something together for you, but he's feeling very out of his depth and he can't promise the outcome. He very much wants you to send someone back to Mist to fetch a more experienced piscivist, but that will take at least a week round trip and there isn't time so he's doing what he can.
A comment on the chocolate scene from the plan: I'm glad you're engaging with this plotline, and I salute you for having good ideas and doing the right things, but this part of the plan was pretty much "have Mari (i.e. the QMs) figure it out." An alternate way to do it would be to write "Check if she has a plan and if so do it. Otherwise, have her check this plan: [details] Assuming she has no objections, do it."
Finally, thank you guys for engaging with the 'dangerous iron mine' plot line and giving me the chance to write both punching and Dogs. I didn't have the juice to do that justice and it was about time for the caravan to show up so I figured I'd do the koi instead. The mine is probably going to be a big enough thing that it would be worth making it the only entry in a plan. The Watsonian part is easy but the Doylist part requires showing at least a tiny bit of prequel ("Where are we going and why"), then scene setting ("What do we see when we get there?"), character interaction ("You do X, I'll do Y") and then the actual combat. That would likely end up being a moderately long update all to itself.
XP AWARD: 16
Brevity XP: 4
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, August 19, 2020, at 12pm London time.
"Well, would you look at that?" Hazō exclaimed in exaggerated disbelief. "Snake eyes again! Any more, and Orochimaru will accuse me of stealing his collection!"
There was a series of chuckles from around the gambling table, if slightly subdued ones—even now, months after the advent of the Final Gift Programme, Orochimaru's name continued to strike fear into the hearts of many clanless ninja. Hazō made a mental note not to use the joke again.
Since he was playing with the house dice, Hazō could lose exactly as much as he liked, as often as he liked. Card games were harder, because a surprising number of the visitors frankly outclassed him, but he'd found a way to capitalise on that as well. He played high-risk, high-reward, meaning his victories were few but spectacular, and nobody came under the illusion that he was losing because he was incompetent rather than because this was all a highly-enjoyable sham.
Behind him, in a booth, Kadokura Ruri waited. He'd banked on her arriving early out of respect for her host (and social superior, though not as much now as a few days ago), but unfortunately, she'd not taken the opportunity to join in the gambling with him. Instead, she sat there, politely waiting for him and also studying him with clear blue eyes that seemed like they missed nothing. He extricated himself from the game as soon as he could.
He slipped into the seat opposite her. "I'm sorry for making you wait. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"Not at all," Kadokura said, brushing back her hair as she straightened in her seat. "I came here prepared for games, Lord Gōketsu."
"No need for that," Hazō told her. "You and I are two of a handful of people who get to stand on the threshold between two worlds and influence them both. I'd say that makes us equals in a way Leaf politics can't encompass. Call me Hazō."
She considered for a second. "I'd like that."
Hazō opened his mouth to ask for permission to use her own name, but she cut in.
"But not just yet," she said lightly. "First names are a privilege for friends and lovers, and we've only just met. Something to look forward to."
The smile that followed her last few words made Hazō feel slightly dizzy. Right, seduction training. Mari had wasted no time making inroads with her Leaf counterparts, and had had no trouble recognising Kadokura's name and providing urgent warning. Kadokura wasn't a specialist the way Mari was, but had reached jōnin level by dipping her toes in many pools over the course of her career, meaning she got the most out of every natural talent rather than abandoning whatever didn't fit her primary path. Then Asuma must have decided to augment the generalist with a specialist's worth of firepower, resulting in something potentially terrifying.
Hazō considered flirting right back, but his brain gave him an immediate "ABORT ABORT ABORT" in bright red letters. He knew from painful experience with Ami that he was not (yet) equipped to play that game against seduction-trained jōnin of unknown intentions.
"Something to look forward to," he agreed neutrally. "For now, let me congratulate you. Only the best of the best get chosen to be summoner. The Hokage must think very highly of your abilities."
"I'd like to think so," Kadokura said. "Not that he exactly had the luxury of choice. But I appreciate the compliment. We're going to have an interesting time trying to catch up to the previous generation of summoners."
Like Jiraiya of the Three.
Hazō nodded sympathetically, keeping his more personal feelings from his face. "It's a massive victory for the KEI, and that's something I want to congratulate you on as well. You're all long overdue that kind of respect."
"I wonder," she said thoughtfully. "Can I speak plainly with you?"
"Always."
"It'll take more than this"—she waved in the direction of the gambling tables—"to win us over, Lord Gōketsu. A year ago, you'd have been a hero for spending your own clan money to help the clanless. The full third of Leaf would have been queuing up to become Gōketsu-lite. But we're not a year ago.
"No one condemns the people who come here to take your handouts. Every one of us has been in a position where we had to bend the neck or go hungry—that was what being clanless was—and there are far worse people to bend the neck to than you. But no one's under any illusions. If a clan's being generous, it's because it wants something, and what you want is to buy our loyalty. It's a good play, and frankly it tells you everything about the other clans that in seventy years not one of them has thought to try it.
"But we're not a year ago. We're not clanless; we're the Konoha Enlightenment Initiative. We're not scrounging for resources to survive; we're fighting to be recognised as equals. We know you're not trying to undermine the KEI—Ami has never let us forget that you were the first to speak up for us with the Shimura Law. But since then, we've lived in a world of campaigning to prove ourselves, and you've lived in a world of offering us charity. It's the act of a friend, but it's not the act of an equal."
Kadokura's assessment was biased, and not a little cynical, but it brought up points Hazō hadn't considered. The KEI were campaigning for freedom from clan control, while what Hazō was offering was informal clan adoption. He'd considered the two approaches complementary, but to Kadokura and those who thought like her, they could easily be exclusive. A clanless ninja could join the KEI and become a KEI ninja—which came with an ideology, mutual support, and the coordinators' informal leadership. Or they could join the Gōketsu—which came with a different ideology, top-down support, and Hazō's informal leadership. It was only a matter of time before some irreconcilable difference had turned up, though he'd never have imagined it to be the simple act of giving people things they wanted.
"You've given me some things to think about," he said after mulling it over. "But no matter how it comes across, I do consider the KEI ninja equals. I don't know how much you know about me, but for most of my life, I was effectively clanless myself. My mother sewed chūnin jackets for sale on the grey market."
"I know," Kadokura said.
"It never occurred to me to begin with that clanless ninja shouldn't deserve equal treatment," Hazō went on. "I think the KEI is vitally important, not just for Leaf, but as proof to the wider world of what clanless ninja can accomplish when given a chance to do so. I also think the Gōketsu are in a unique position as clans go. We have no traditions. We have no secret lore. We have no deep coffers passed down by our ancestors. We do have bloodlines, I'll admit, but they're random things whose higher secrets our birth clans never taught us. We're no Hyūga or Ino-Shika-Chō. That's something to bear in mind before you decide to lump us in with the clans that have always discriminated against you."
Kadokura gave him an amused look. "You have the fortune, sealing notes, and general fifty-year legacy of one of the greatest men in history. You have the same combat and diplomacy Bloodline Limit that got Kurosawa Ren chosen as the Mizukage, the summoner's dream Bloodline Limit with potential applications that make any halfway intelligent ninja drool, and Ami and Lady Keiko's powers speak for themselves. To say nothing of the bloodline Lord Kagome's hiding.
"The fact that you're not one of them doesn't mean you're one of us, Lord Gōketsu. That you can remember being clanless doesn't mean all that much when you're standing in the middle of your own compound, pouring out money like water while waiting for reports on a dozen world-changing projects nobody at these tables even has the education to imagine."
"My point," Hazō said doggedly, "is that we're on the same side. The Gōketsu aren't fighting to protect privilege that would be wiped out if more people started living decent lives. We're fighting for a world of genuine equality. If everyone is rich and powerful, then no one is—and the Gōketsu are OK with that, so long as that world of equality is also a world of happiness. If you want our credentials, don't look at what we own. Look at our goals, and whether we're working to fulfil them, because I assure you, we're giving them everything we've got."
Kadokura chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, Lord Gōketsu: a lot of us have high hopes for you. You're part of the wind of change that's sweeping Leaf after generations of stagnation. But so far, while the Hokage and the coordinators have been reshaping the fabric of society for the KEI, all you've been doing is creating dependants. You can do better. I personally believe that you will."
She rolled her shoulders as if releasing tension.
"I think that's enough of that, don't you? If you wanted to talk about the KEI, you'd have invited your sister, not me. Would you like to make your offer, Lord Gōketsu, or give it a little more time first?"
"My offer?" Hazō asked, not entirely surprised but curious about the reasoning.
She pointed at him. "Clan head." She pointed at herself. "New summoner. The timing isn't exactly subtle. It would be flattering to think you were interested in me for me before you even met me, but sadly, this is business. I don't think I have anything for you right now, Lord Gōketsu, so what is it you want to offer me?"
-o-
"I'm in."
The decision came within seconds of Hazō finishing his explanation.
"As easily as that?" he asked.
She nodded, as if surprised at his surprise. "Large amounts of money for minimal effort, obvious benefits to Leaf, and another thing to take to the Condors so they don't peck out my liver during negotiations. What kind of lunatic would refuse?"
Hazō laughed. "Then let's hope I don't meet any lunatics, because I still have a few people to talk into this. I'll be in touch with more information as I get it."
"I'm sure you know where I live," Kadokura responded. "Since we're here, though, why don't you show me what you can really do?" She gestured towards the gambling tables.
"It would be my pleasure." And he was going to play as if his life depended on it, now he knew how Kadokura felt about his deliberate losing.
Kadokura took his hand, pulling him towards the most popular tables.
"I'm glad I did my research," she said off-handedly, turning back to him. "You're exactly how Ami said you would be."
-o-
The Minami compound was a very different place when it wasn't in mourning. There was a sense of animation in the air, people bustling to and fro in the corridors, civilian servants scrambling to get out of his way as his host led him to a waiting room, and in one case a pair of children being pursued by what appeared to be a wrathful tutor with an enormous splodge of ink across his chest. For pre-teens competing with an adult ninja, they were leading him on quite the merry chase.
"Please, take a seat, Lord Gōketsu," Minami Aika invited him, waving over a servant to order tea. "My condolences with regard to your sister."
There were two ways to read that statement: one referring to the rumours flying around Leaf in the aftermath of the concubine laws vote, which had developed with curious speed and ranged from the unthinkingly bigoted to the outright vile, and another which risked getting him angry enough to make this meeting difficult. He decided, for now, not to ask for clarification.
"Thank you for agreeing to see me," Hazō said instead. "My congratulations on the Porcupine Scroll. Your cousin died saving my life, and I've been trying to repay that debt ever since. It's a joy to hear that the scroll we brought ended up in your hands."
"You've done Leaf a great service," Minami said. "More, I suspect, than you know. My aunt also speaks highly of you. She asked me to remind you that you are welcome to visit her for tea at your convenience."
"I'm happy to hear that," Hazō said honestly. "I hope the invitation I'm bringing today will be another small step towards paying back what you've already given. How have you been finding the Porcupines?"
Minami gave a small smile. "Rambunctious. Their leader, Yamaraja, has me playing with their young. It is a trial of both patience and agility, since their quills are already alarmingly sharp, but they do not yet have an adult's control. It is, of course, also a sign of trust, so I am optimistic about my chances of acceptance.
"They are also," she added quietly, "impossibly cute."
"I've been working on transportation systems for puppies," Hazō said. "I don't know if that's better or worse."
"Indeed," Minami said after a second's thought. "Have yours offered you their traditional cuisine yet?"
Hazō shook his head. "But they're Dogs, so presumably it'll just be some kind of meat."
The servant finally returned with two cups of tea, as well as a selection of cookies, and, curiously, a blank scroll and writing implements. He bowed to Minami, then to him, before placing the tray on the table and beating a hasty retreat.
Hazō eyed the cookies curiously.
"Aunt Karen made inquiries about your tea preferences," Minami said. "As to the Dogs, I can only urge caution. The Porcupine old-style herb salad is a thing of unfathomable terror."
"I'll bear it in mind."
Hazō tried a cookie. It was honey-flavoured, and a little too sweet.
"Please write your impressions on the scroll there, in as much detail as you can. Some people prefer a numerical score, but I tend to find them hard to interpret."
"I'm sorry?"
"My aunt asked me to find out how you liked your cookies," Minami said matter-of-factly. "I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing properly."
"You know, Minami," Hazō said with his most genuine smile of the day, "I think we may be of a like mind. Are you familiar with the concept of a post-interaction survey?"
-o-
"…haven't got back to me with their projections yet, but Shikamaru is optimistic, so I'm expecting good news. What do you think, Minami?"
Minami's expression shut down completely, like an iron wall uncompromisingly repelling Hazō's goodwill.
"As a shinobi of the Minami Clan, I am unable to accept your offer."
"I don't think I understand," Hazō said cautiously. "This plan doesn't affect your clan directly, but even as far as it does, it just means getting you more money and influence. What's the problem?"
Minami stared at him. Slowly, her expression softened. "Forgive me. I realise you meant no offence. Tell me, Lord Gōketsu, how familiar are you with the history of my clan?"
Hazō had a sense that wording was important here, and therefore it was safest to say less rather than more. "I know that your founders were Hyūga with a different Bloodline Limit, and your clans were at war before the Hokage gave you official recognition and stopped the Hyūga from attacking you."
"You are not incorrect," Minami said, "much in the way as describing a summoning scroll as ink on parchment is not incorrect."
"Then could you enlighten me?" Hazō asked.
Minami took a slow, deep breath in. "Our ancestors were the children of a particular set of siblings within the main family. When every one of them failed to develop the Byakugan at the appropriate age, they were naturally deemed defective. They were treated almost like civilians"—she spat the word—"and shunted off into the side family, tolerated only because they still had the blood and so their children might be proper Hyūga again.
"But they weren't defective," she said, her voice strengthening. "They were superior. They had a new bloodline, bestowed by the Will of Fire to meet this new age with its greater challenges. The Hyūga, of course, could never accept that, so when the children began to manifest new powers, the Hyūga declared them tainted, contaminated by the venom of the Chaos Snake that dwelled in the north-west where the clan originated. That alone made their lie obvious—the Will of Fire protects us all from the caprice of the kami. That is why, after Leaf was founded, there was no more need to worship or placate them.
"Do you know what they did, Lord Gōketsu, after they concocted that excuse?"
"They drove the children out," Hazō said.
"The children escaped," Minami corrected. "Their parents weren't willing to see them culled, and fought back. Not all of them survived. After that, the Hyūga hunted us. Like animals. We weren't even a threat to them—nobody could extract clan secrets that we didn't have. They hunted us, and we fought, and we were nearly wiped from this world.
"Tell me, have you ever heard of Sōdai?"
"The Minami Bloodline Limit is called Sōdai's Prism, isn't it?" Hazō asked.
"Sōdai was the clan's hero. He'd been refused apprenticeship by Orochimaru over ethical differences, but it had only made him more determined to unlock the mysteries of the human body for the good of Leaf. When the purge began, Sōdai abandoned all of his projects in favour of research on our Bloodline Limit. He was the one who gave us the power to fight back. He also worked with… well, that's not relevant here.
"He didn't have the temperament to be a leader, and the second oldest, Hanae, had died taking a stand against ten Hyūga assassins after they discovered our underground hideout. But the second daughter, Yūna, took charge and persuaded the Hokage that we were worth more to him than the continued goodwill of the Hyūga. Yūna named us the Minami, after the first generation's grandmother who had decided to stay and intercede on their behalf instead of fleeing, and who died a martyr's death as the 'source' of the 'cursed blood'.
"Lord Gōketsu, the Hyūga never withdrew their declaration of war. We have never stopped being at war, except insofar as the Hokage promised consequences if either of us tested his tolerance too far. His death was a catastrophe for the Minami, and you would sleep better not knowing what was happening in the shadows of Leaf during the Chūnin Exams. When the Sixth came to power, we feared the end of the clan, and praised the Will of Fire when he died without ever having had the time to pursue the vendetta to its logical conclusion. It is only now the Hyūga are weaker than ever, and the Seventh has tacitly renewed our covenant with the gift of the scroll, that we can breathe easy again.
"With all that in mind, how willing do you think I am to take the hand of Hyūga Neji, cousin to the clan head, the degenerate who tried to corrupt my own innocent cousin, for the sake of personal enrichment?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Hazō choked.
"What part of what I said is at all surprising?" Minami asked. "You should know the Hyūga as well as I."
"No, the cousin thing. What are you talking about?"
"The piece of filth tried to get his claws into Nikkō's sister, Minori, before she was even out of the Academy," Minami hissed. "He had his cousin Hanabi lure her in with pretences of friendship so they could play some kind of twisted 'roleplaying game' together. I don't want to imagine what might have happened if she hadn't mentioned it to one of the older children, who went straight to Aunt Karen."
…
Hyūga. Roleplaying games. Hyūga.
…
No, he had to focus. Maybe this situation was salvageable.
"Minami," he said, "a roleplaying game is a perfectly innocent hobby for all ages. My family plays them all the time, often with friends from other clans."
He could see Minami pause to update, frowning slightly.
"It doesn't matter," she decided. "Tell me, Lord Gōketsu, would you play a roleplaying game with Akatsuki?"
If he thought it wouldn't get him killed, brainwashed, or executed? In a heartbeat.
There was almost certainly something wrong with Gōketsu Hazō.
"Exactly," Minami said with the air of a woman making an incontrovertible argument. "He is the kind of man who preys on innocent children in order to strike at his enemies. It doesn't matter if the tools he uses are wholesome or not.
"Let me amend my statement, Lord Gōketsu. As a shinobi of the Minami Clan, I will gladly participate in your project—if Hyūga Neji does not."
-o-
You have received 3 + 1 + 1 = 5 XP and 1 FP.
Fun-to-write bonus included.
-o-
Asuma has been informed of Sadaharu's disappearance, and is preparing to field angry inquiries from the Mizukage about Leaf's failure to secure its part of the route between the two villages. He anticipates demands of reparations on behalf of the Wakahisa, which he has no particular interest in granting.
The basic construction work for the koi pond will be done soon, but you really need a Wakahisa expert. For obvious reasons, it's a highly specialised job which Noburi, a disfavoured genin, knew precious little about. Wataru is dragging his feet, as he is clearly terrified of making a mistake which will kill off the entire school before a new expert can arrive, for which he will then be held personally responsible by both clans.
The rest of the plan has yet to be implemented.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 22nd of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
Hazō considered Minami's words carefully. Emotions flickered past—annoyance at people's stupid unwillingness to cooperate, sympathy for the harsh treatment of the Minami, irritation with the Hyūga's blood-purist arrogance that complicated everything, more annoyance at people's stupid unwillingness to cooperate. He forced himself to set all of that aside.
"Let's be clear," he said at last, "the Hyūga are no friends of the Gōketsu. We believe in the Will of Fire and have done everything we can to model it—more than many clans, in my opinion. Despite that, Hyūga Hiashi still considered us traitors. Moreover, he schemed to take power from Jiraiya, including using back-alley deals and political tricks to take the Hokage's hat.
"Despite all of Hyūga's arrogance and obstructionism, Jiraiya never seriously moved against him. Not in his role as Hokage and not via his own personal strength either. He could have killed Hyūga anytime he felt like it"—a smile flickered across his face as he remembered that fraught conversation the night the clan was formed—"but he didn't. That would have been against the Will of Fire. Yes, he colluded with your clan to use economic leverage against theirs, but as I understand it that's simply how the game is played. Jiraiya showed restraint when he didn't have to. Why? Because Jiraiya cared deeply about the greater good of Leaf, and he recognized that such actions, when Leaf was already reeling from its losses, would be catastrophic for our survival."
He paused, locking eyes with Minami and projecting as much seriousness as he could. "I intend to follow in Jiraiya's footsteps." The Iron Nerve flickered an impish grin across his face. "Well, actually I intend to get out in front of his footsteps and blaze new trails of legend and glory. For now, however, I intend to follow. I will work for Leaf, not just for the Gōketsu. Part of that means following what I think Jiraiya would have done had he had more time. Once Leaf was safe, he would have acted. Acted to protect the Minami, to put an end to the arrogance of the Hyūga and guide them out of being an arrogant pack of asshole nobles who consider themselves above our city and into being more an actual part of it. He would have tried to convince them that they should work whole-heartedly to Leaf's betterment. The most important part of that would have been finding the right time to strike.
"That's what I intend to do. Continue to model the Will of Fire, continue to work for the success of Leaf and a future where all its citizens are united and happy...and also work to create the proper moment to strike down an enemy who believes us to be a non-threat."
"'Enemy'? 'Strike down'?" Minami said, raising an eyebrow. "Strong words for someone who talks about modeling the Will of Fire more than anyone else, and also invites their so-called enemy's Clan Head to play board games."
Hazō shrugged. "I don't see Hinata as my enemy. I see the Hyūga arrogance and focus on their own purity and superiority as the enemy. They need to be disabused of those ideas."
She snorted. "I wish you the best with that. I'd sooner ask a pig not to eat truffles. It's easier to train pigs."
"I think it's possible. Hinata is too young and has too many close friends in our age group to have fully absorbed her family's attitude. Most—all? I'm not sure—anyway, at least some of the Hyūga elders were killed in the Collapse, meaning that they won't be whispering hatred and isolation in her ears. If we, the Minami and the Gōketsu and the rest of Leaf, offer her better alternatives then I think she'll take them."
"She's a Hyūga," Minami said flatly. "She absorbed their vile nature with her mother's milk. She isn't going to change her attitude and a leopard isn't going to eat salad."
"Humor me for a moment. Let's assume, hypothetically, that the Gōketsu were going to strike at the Hyūga. There are three ways we could do it.
"There's my uncle's way: Explosives, death, destruction. Burn everything to the ground. That's a great choice out in the wild but a terrible choice here in Leaf. I'm confident that we could destroy the Hyūga if we wanted to...the Gōketsu have three Summoners, two sealmasters, more explosives than we know what to do with, and some remarkably thorough experience with destruction. We could do it, but it would be a terrible idea. The Hyūga aren't as strong as they think they are—not even the Sage could be that strong—but they are strong. The Gōketsu and our allies would be massively weakened, perhaps even eliminated. Even if we weren't, the battle would shatter Leaf. One clan actually attacking another? It would be against everything the nation stands for. No, that's not an option unless we get pushed to the absolute limit.
"There's Mari's way: Smile and nod and work from the shadows without ever being seen. Take over the Hyūga's sources of revenue, Seventh Path and Human Path alike, turn their allies against them with blackmail or whispers of treason. Steal their secrets. Cause 'accidental' fires that destroy their properties. Drug their food and water to make them sick and debilitated. Leave them destitute and homeless, begging for protection from anyone who will provide it." He caught her amused expression and smiled grimly. "You laugh. Don't. Mari is very good at what she does and, as you mentioned, we have Jiraiya's legacy of seals." He left that one carefully non-specific. There was nothing he knew of in Jiraiya's collection that would be specifically useful for the sort of things he was describing, but the sheer vagueness of it would leave Minami's imagination plenty of room.
"Back in Mist, the Mori did that to the Kobayakawa. It's effective, and would not harm Leaf as badly as Kagome-sensei's path...still, the Hyūga are ninja of Leaf and so it would still harm Leaf to a degree. That's the last thing I want. I want to uplift Leaf and the Land of Fire, not tear them down.
"Finally, there's my way: Turn Neji. Turn Hinata. Surround Neji with teammates and partners that he must work with and who can make him see our point of view. Forge political bonds and trade deals with Hinata so that her clan's interests become entangled with those of the Gōketsu and she has to listen to us and cede ground to us. If I can get her to make one concession one time I can leverage that into her making more concessions. I can show her that the outcome of those concessions was better because we did it the Gōketsu collaborative way instead of the Hyūga isolationist way. And I give her a chance to learn that lesson again. And again. And again. She's a smart woman. She will eventually come to see things my way, to choose the path that I would choose because she agrees that it's better.
"There's a saying in Mist: 'The most thorough destruction of your foe is to make him your friend.' The goal is to make them not-Hyuga, make them into something new that retains what makes them strong but cuts out the cruelty and arrogance." He shrugged and spread his hands. "To be honest, the Gōketsu are already working on it. We're trying to prevent those antiquated, xenophobic views from spreading to the new generation. One avenue we're using is Keiko's relationship with Lady Hanabi. I don't entirely understand that relationship and I freely admit that what I do understand worries me, but Keiko believes in my Way and I think she'll pass those views on to Hanabi."
"You intend to transform the fundamental character of an entire clan...by manipulating a child?"
Hazō chuckled. "Not just that, but it's a start. Hanabi and Hinata are close. Keiko's words are going to end up in Hinata's ears, but they'll be coming from a trusted source, a Hyūga source. Likewise, Neji. He and Noburi bicker like an old married couple and, honestly, I think they both like it. If Neji didn't like it, why does he keep showing up to games night?"
"Perhaps because his Clan Head orders it? It's an easy way for her to maintain political connections with a new clan that everyone is still uncertain about, while not visibly tying herself to you."
"She comes to the games nights as well." He hesitated for a moment but then his sense of honesty forced him to add, "Sometimes. Not every time. Still, she does come."
"When she comes, does she spend most of her time in conversation with her peers, the other teenage Clan Heads?"
Hazō frowned, flicking back through his memories of the last few months. "I guess? That's not surprising. She grew up with them, they're all her friends. And we're all there to spend time together over the gaming table...."
"So. She sometimes but not always comes to a social event where she is not required to do anything political with you and at this event she spends much of her time socializing with her friends and peers. Thereby demonstrating how reasonable she is, how willingly she will work with the new clan, and maintaining close ties to the other Clan Heads without committing herself to anything."
"No, that's not— I mean, she...look, it's intended as a social event, not a political one."
"Everything is politics for Clan Heads, especially those who sit on the Council. Every word, every gesture, every work of art on the wall, every invitation given or taken. It all frames you for the rest of Leaf and sets their expectations of you. It worries me that you don't know this."
Hazō started to respond hotly, then forced himself to stop and take a breath. Inhale calm and peace, exhale stress and panic, said the long-gone voice of Mari-sensei. He went through the cycle twice, then focused on relaxing the muscles in his cheeks and shoulders.
"Clumsy," Minami noted, her voice clinical. "It's good that you can manage your anger but you need to be less obvious about it. A good strategy is to pause for a sip of tea while you do that. It covers your face and if you drink the right tea the scent will help with relaxation."
"Thank you. I wasn't angry so much as...frustrated, I guess is the word." He paused, taking a sip of his long-since-cooled tea to give himself a moment to think. Minami gave an amused smile at his immediate adoption of her advice.
"The key point is this: I want Leaf to prosper. I want the Land of Fire to prosper. The only way to do that is for its people to cooperate. That is why Leaf is so powerful: We cooperate better than the other villages. Indeed, they only exist because we started cooperating and they had to follow us or be destroyed."
"With respect, Lord Gōketsu...'we'?" She quirked her lips in amusement, the words balancing between friendly teasing and actual mockery.
"Yes. We. I am Gōketsu Hazō, adopted son of Jiraiya of the Three, Fifth Hokage. I co-invented the skywalkers that were essential to the defeat of Akatsuki. I sheltered hundreds of Leaf's people and dozens of her ninja after the Collapse. I have every right to claim Leaf as my home and myself as one of its people." He met her eyes as he spoke, and his own were cold.
She raised a hand in mute apology. "Fair. Apologies."
He nodded acknowledgement. "Regardless. The secret of Leaf's success is that her people cooperate. The problem, in my opinion, is that we don't do it enough. Everyone hoarded their knowledge until Asuma's contest, but once he got us to share we all became stronger. The Great Clans have their walled compounds where they stay isolated from the people; I have to think that it makes them feel isolated, feel like they are less a part of the city and more temporary visitors."
"With respect, I'll note that your estate is literally isolated from the entire city by virtue of being outside it."
He chuckled. "Not by my preference. We had an estate inside the walls but Orochimaru returned and yanked it out from under us. We had to find a new place within a few days and there wasn't a lot of empty land to choose from. This place was the best we could do." He looked around the room, imagining that his eyes could pierce the walls and the city blocks beyond to see the expanse of the Gōketsu land. "I like to think we've done well with it. Regardless, we encourage our people to visit the city and we regularly have people from the city visit us. We're doing our best to balance safety—which means walls—with a sense of identity as Leaf citizens.
"We're getting a bit far afield. My point was that the people of Leaf are strong in exactly the same degree that we work together. The Hyūga are, frankly, a problem. Their arrogance and isolation makes it hard to work with them and drives wedges through Leaf as a whole. I'm not going to attack them, I'm not going to try to undermine their livelihood, but I am going to do what I can to change their culture. Part of that means that I need to get connections with them that can be used as leverage, and as pathways for my ideas to reach them."
"Which brings us back to the trade network."
"Which brings us back to the trade network. I wish I had been more aware of the Minami/Hyūga split. I knew about it in a general sense, but I wasn't familiar enough that it was at the forefront of my mind, and I apologize for that. If it had been, maybe I could have done things differently. As it stands I approached Neji first because I knew him better, and he agreed to participate. I'm not comfortable uninviting him, both because I don't think it would be honorable and because it would give them an insult that would make it harder for me to reshape their culture into something a little less...." He paused, grappling for the right words, and finally shrugged. "If I'm being honest, a little less stupid. Nara Shikaku once told Hyūga Hiashi that the Hyūga arrogance had cost them about ten percent of the income they could have earned over the last decade. He offered to help them fix that problem; I don't know if Lord Hyūga ever took him up on it before Lord Nara died fighting beside Jiraiya.
"In any case. Neji is going to be one of the Summoners in our network, at least for the foreseeable future. If he causes too many problems or interferes with trade too much then maybe we uninvite him, but for now he's going to be there. I would like it very much if you would participate as well. I'm willing to do whatever I can to make it work—the two of you would never have to speak to each other or even be in the same room. You don't have to allow trade directly from the Porcupine to the Turtles if you don't want, although that's up to you and Yamaraja.
"As the Minami Clan's Summoner, you are a keystone—perhaps the keystone—to making the Hyuga realize how stupid they're being and exactly how much they're giving up by clinging to this attitude. I'm not saying that I can't fix their problem without your help, but it would be a lot easier if you were there. The Minami are probably the Hyūga's single biggest mistake." He shook his head, lips pursed in frustration. "Can you imagine how much stronger they would have been if they had honored Sōdai instead of throwing a tantrum because your ancestors didn't match some set-in-stone idea of what perfection looked like? Idiots! Why—" He cut himself off. "Sorry. I have no right to lose my temper when you manage to keep yours."
"I've had rather a lot more practice."
Hazō laughed. "I suppose. Anyway, going back to my earlier thought: The Hyūga are broken, and I want to fix them. I think there's a good chance of doing that, since Hinata is in charge, there are few if any elders putting stupid and poisonous ideas in her head, and the Gōketsu have several ways to help her see that better behavior has better outcomes. I understand you have grievances with them—very justified grievances!—but I'm hoping that you agree with me that helping the Hyūga get over themselves is a better way to avenge those grievances than constantly being at knifepoint with them. Better for you, better for Leaf, and more according to the Will of Fire. If you're willing and able to do that, it would be wonderful. If you believe that it wouldn't be safe because you can't trust the Hyūga, or whatever other reason might exist, I'll understand. The Gōketsu will still work to fix the problem, and if you ever change your mind and want to join us then you'll be more than welcome."
He stood up. "You don't have to answer now, but think about it. There's no hurry. Take a few days, or even weeks, that's totally fine. I may have to travel for a few days sometime in the next couple weeks, but aside from that I'll be available to you. In the meantime, I hope you'll come to the next games night. Hinata and Neji will be invited but even if they come, you don't have to interact with them at all. It will give you a chance to see what I mean about cooperation and being able to model better behavior for them."
Minami pursed her lips for a moment. "I'll consider it."
"Excellent. We haven't chosen a date, but I'll be sure you get an invite. Now, if you'll excuse me, I should head home."
"Of course." She rose and escorted him out.
FP AWARD: +2 (general refresh)
XP AWARD: 2
Brevity XP: 0 (406 words)
"GM had fun" XP: 1
It is now about 8pm.
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, August 26, 2020, at 12pm London time.
"I play The Fallen Cherub Screams," Hazō said, placing down the card with a weight and finality fit to punish Ami's overwhelming hubris. One could only push one's luck so far. "Your Exterminator is now at the end of a doomed timeline. I'm removing it from the board."
"The Exterminator uses Emergency Temporal Shift as a reaction to retreat to the last branching point," Ami said as if it was obvious.
Hazō smirked, though Ami, of course, couldn't see it. "Oh, no, you don't. I sealed off the past with Timequake"—he glanced at the Continuity Stack—"three years ago."
"Interrupt by Player Three, third card from the left," Ami said. "True Love's Kiss: automatically escape from any sealed space, then remove this card from the game."
It said ever so much about Ami that she would go to the mental effort of memorising the state of the board and the contents of her hands (in sequence) in order to avoid going to the physical effort of getting up. As Hazō pondered his options, she lay on her back, gazing in fascination at the rain streaming down the frozen air above them.
"You really want to blow True Love's Kiss on saving an Exterminator?" Hazō asked. To him, using a trump card to save a horde-grade minion was like using a pre-village era painting as kindling. He didn't like the implications.
"It was only ever an illusion anyway," Ami said dreamily. "You know, a target on one of my Hot Springs infiltrations once tried to woo me with a scroll of Lightning Country fairy tales—an unexpurgated edition, of the kind forbidden for export. There was a story about a sage living in a castle made of glass hidden on the peak of the highest mountain. I always wondered why someone would build something that tempted fate so much."
The flow of the conversation had reached the right point, Hazō judged.
"Hey, Ami. Can I ask you a question?"
"People often do," Ami agreed. "What can I do to make you love me, Ami? Why are you still alive when my husband is dead, Ami? Why is everything on fire, Ami?"
"My question for you is this," Hazō said. "If you could have anything you want, but you don't know what you want, what do you take?"
"Everything," Ami said without hesitation. "How could there possibly be any other answer?"
Uninformative but fair, Hazō reflected. Thinking about it, he'd be very disappointed in the kind of person who, when told they could have anything they wanted, kept their ambitions narrow.
"Player Five's turn," Ami said. "I play the first card from the left on your Primal Progenitor in the underground layer. Lance of Lengthiness: target cannot move or use abilities while this artefact is in play."
Hazō silently cursed. Player Two did have Deva Invasion in his hand, but he was saving that as an offensive move for when he could tie down her Chakra Golem Guardians. That meant letting her have free run of the underground layer, and if she'd already drawn the Drill Pendant…
Ami bounced to her feet, a foolhardy action given she was fairly tall and air domes traditionally weren't. "Feeling hungry yet, Hazō?"
The Yabai Café's finest creation sat on a low table off to the side. It looked like an ordinary apple strudel. It smelled like an ordinary apple strudel. It sounded like an ordinary apple strudel (which is to say it didn't make any sound whatsoever, something one couldn't take for granted with Yabai Café food). It was terrifying. Hazō would have called it a lie if you told him a mere foodstuff could have a jōnin aura, but it was a fact that his hand started shaking in anticipation of certain death when he so much as thought of reaching out for it. After an initial back-and-forth (no, the guest should have the honour of the first bite; no, the person who bought it should have the honour of the first bite; no, the girl should have the honour of the first bite; oh, so this is a date then, Hazō?; etc.), they had decided that the first bite would be a consolation prize for the last player out. It had brought true passion to their battle of wits.
"Player Six's turn," Hazō said. "I play Chaos Brand on Player Seven: roll the dice to assign the target of your next card randomly. Since we're above the treeline, I can play it according to sky rules, meaning you take no damage, but you also don't get to roll for resistance." And that made a time element ability, followed by a space element artefact, followed by a mirage element art. He could cash in that partial combo now, or if he could manoeuvre Ami into completing the full set without her noticing…
Best to keep the conversation going, then, before she had a chance to analyse the board.
"I've been worried about Keiko lately," he began.
"You and everyone else," Ami said. "There's only so much of this a sane person can take. We've got the Yamanaka on board now, but the Ino-Shika-Chō have weirdly little experience manipulating public opinion on a village scale, and I don't know how much time we have. Keiko's been doing a lot of mental training recently for Snowflake's benefit, so that helps, but there's only so much you can insulate someone in her position from the outside world. Trust me, you do not want to see a Mori snap. I don't suppose you'd consider committing some more treason to take attention off her? Pretty please?"
"I only commit treason on my own schedule," Hazō said. "Which is to say never, because I am a loyal Leaf ninja, and the very idea is insulting."
Ami sighed. "That's how it goes. A lifetime of loyal service, then you cross one teeny little line, and suddenly your local tinpot dictator's telling you your life hangs by a thread."
"That bad?" Hazō asked sympathetically.
Summer disappeared. The air dome turned to ice, jagged and black with hatred. The rain itself froze in place where it touched the surface.
"Who in the Abyss is she to look down on me?" Ami hissed. "A woman who only became clan head by selling out her own sister. A warrior who's not strong enough to protect the village and a diplomat who throws away what could have been her second strongest ally in the world. A figurehead who got the hat handed to her by the clans without ever having to lift a finger. A jōnin in her forties, and what does she have to show for it? What does she have to hold up against what I've accomplished at nineteen? Why does someone who's paid as much as I have for genius have to plead for her life before mediocrity?"
The cold disappeared as abruptly as it came.
"This is my life now," Ami said. "But more importantly, you were talking about Keiko."
"I was." Hazō resisted the temptation to rub some warmth back into his limbs. The chill was just a product of his imagination, after all… right?
"I think one of the pressures on Keiko right now is that her loyalties are being stretched three ways. She's a Gōketsu first and foremost, but she's also a Nara. There are tensions there, since while we're technically allies, the Nara aren't exactly on the closest of terms with us for completely arbitrary and unimportant reasons. But she's also a KEI coordinator, which is a separate set of responsibilities that risks conflicting with the other two. That sounds like a nightmare to juggle."
Ami shrugged. "That's what happens when you have loyalties."
"It's also something only you can help with," Hazō went on. "I have a strong suspicion that two of those three, at least, have goals that are flexible enough, and compatible enough, that we could get rid of a lot of the friction by putting them in the open. But since you're the only one who knows what your objective for the KEI is, you're the only one who can make it happen. I realise you enjoy being unpredictable, and maybe sacrificing some of that would reduce your advantage, but would you consider doing it anyway? For Keiko?"
"What are you really asking, Hazō?" Ami asked after a second. "I am not the KEI. The KEI is not me. That would be a rookie mistake. If you're asking me, then I think what you're really asking is whether my goals are compatible with your Uplift."
"And supposing I were?"
"It's a sweet, naïve idea," Ami said. "Changing the world to change humanity. The First Hokage tried that—united the clans to stop them warring against each other; introduced the village system. Clan vendettas became economic rather than military, and in exchange he invented the concept of world war. Making the in-group bigger didn't get rid of it—it just amplified its need for enemies. I think your efforts are doomed to fail, and they're doomed to fail in a way that unleashes chaos on a scale Senju Hashirama couldn't imagine."
"Does that mean our goals are incompatible?"
Ami gave him a look. "Viability aside, you're one of the very few agents trying to stop humanity from destroying itself. What am I, an idiot?"
Hazō smiled.
"I don't think you're an idiot. But I can't help noticing you've also avoided telling me what you want. So I'm going to share my theory with you. I don't think you want anything in particular. I think you're shooting for the stars because the alternative is standing still, and standing still is death. Neither of us could imagine it. But your only actual priorities are freedom and power—"
"And fun," Ami interjected.
"So if you can secure those, you'll be able to do whatever it is you want, whenever you figure out what that is. Until then, you're trying to stay dissociated from everything, to be numb to love and hate, because the alternative is being stuck with attachments. How does that sound?"
Ami gave a delighted laugh. "Oh, Hazō. Every time I think you're getting predictable"—her gaze took in the rooftop platform, the air dome, the Game of Games board with its dozen different types of tokens, and the Yabai Café cake, with its purple swirling aura of doom slowly expanding as the game drew closer to its end—"you come out with something like that to surprise me. I knew there was a reason I came here instead of Sand."
Yes. Her name was Keiko. Some things about Ami were deep and impenetrable mysteries, but that was not one of them.
"If that's true," Hazō said, "I can work with it. I'm Keiko's family and head of the Gōketsu, and neither of those are likely to change anytime soon, so at the very least, you shouldn't have any reason to work against me."
Ami didn't say anything, and went back to studying the rain streaming down the air dome.
"No, they aren't, are they?" she asked quietly.
"Ami?"
"Player Seven's turn. I spend four red mana to play Berserker's Joy on the Blazing Demon, unleashing its Almighty Conflagration form. That puts its damage value over the airship's structural integrity score. The airship board and all minions on it are permanently removed from play."
"Ami," Hazō repeated, hiding his satisfaction at the fact that she'd taken the bait and sacrificed one of her strongest pieces in exchange for an expendable rag-tag strike team. "What are you thinking?"
"None of this was supposed to happen," Ami said after a pause. "I figured at most, Keiko might eventually get a nice boyfriend, whom I'd break and reshape into a worthy husband. She wasn't supposed to get siblings. How would that even happen?"
"But it did."
"It's my own fault," Ami said. "I made light of the transitive property."
Hazō took a moment to remember what one of those was, then another to soak in the implications.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"I don't know what I'm saying," Ami said. "Forget it. It's your turn."
The idea coalesced, bit by bit, inside Hazō. It was alien, and a little frightening, and simultaneously so obvious that he wondered how it had taken so long. It was also dangerous, in ways he couldn't quite put his finger on, and there was a strong case for burying it again and pretending he'd never thought of it. Some things could never be taken back. Assuming he'd read her correctly in the first place, and wasn't about to make an absolute fool of himself.
"Ami," he said carefully, looking into her eyes, "would you like to be family?"
"Hazō," she said equally carefully, "I have no idea what that means."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I say," Ami said. "Insofar as Ken and Yuri disqualified themselves from the label, and insofar as I have never required close emotional bonds other than with Keiko, and certainly no acceptable candidates were forthcoming, it is a term ungrounded in personal experience. I have never required family; in fact, I would have strongly preferred the absence of same. Unfortunately, I was not consulted at the stage when you made yourself my adopted brother, and to the extent that the bond is real enough for Keiko, such that even the most critical errors on your part have failed to break it, that is not among my options."
"Player Eight's turn," Hazō said, buying himself time to think. "I play Grasping Hand on the aquatic layer. Your Psychic Acrobat has 0 defence against water element attacks and drowns immediately."
"Player One's turn," Ami said. "Say, you're looking a little peaky there, Player Three.
"No, no, I'm fine," Ami insisted. "I've totally got this.
"Oh, really?" Ami asked. "I can't help noticing you're on only 5 HP after Hazō's Salt Burial got you last round. Why, if I hadn't played Emergency Retcon as an interrupt, you wouldn't even be here right now.
"I just didn't have the cards, I swear, Player One! I can still make a comeback!
"Hmm. What say you, Player Five?
"Clearly, Player Three has failed us. You must not.
"Hear, hear! There's no room for failure in the Cosmic Empire of Ami!
"Uh, yes, thank you, Player Seven. That's that, then. I play Invisible Seventh Child onto the mythical layer and immediately use its Steal Breath ability. Player Three takes 5 damage. Since that was her final breath, I get another turn."
Oh. Oh, no.
"I play the Eldritch Octopus onto the surface layer, and advance the Doom Track by one. Despite the name, the Eldritch Octopus is an earth element creature… so that's a full sequence of seven elements and seven effect types. I take a card from the greater artefact deck."
Hazō steeled himself for the horrors about to come his way.
"Oh," she added at the last second, "I also play Mists of Preservation to take the card face down. Something for you to look forward to."
Hazō shuddered and decided to put off the inevitable in favour of more significant concerns.
"But about what you were saying—"
"Hey, was that a flash of light? Hazō, exactly how well-protected is this thing against a direct lightning strike?"
"I… don't know," Hazō admitted. "I doubt anyone's ever done anything like this before. Maybe we should get down."
Ami nodded. "Guess I'll be using this now, then." She pulled out the artefact card. "False Goddess of the Bells: erase any one entity from the timeline. I choose the Cosmic Empire of Ami."
"You do what?"
"Per the rules, Players One, Three, Five, and Seven are defined as a single joint entity for the purpose of cards targeting allies. That joint entity has now never existed. Players Two, Four, Six, and Eight, enjoy fighting over who gets to eat the cake."
-o-
You have received 4 + 1 - 1 = 4 XP.
Bonus fun-to-write XP included.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 29th of August, 9 a.m. New York time.
"Services start in five minutes! Come one, come all! Services starting in five minutes! Beds and meals available afterwards! Come one, come all!"
Valerian smiled and crossed the street to be out of the way of the horde of people scrambling for the entrance of this particular Church of Youth. He had created the Church, in those long-ago days before Phil the shadow demon brought them here. He had created it as a lark, because it was funny. The idea that the arrogant, bombastic, aristocratic Hyūga Hiashi should have to burn his fortune funding something so boisterous and so thoroughly oriented at the lower classes. It had been hilarious at the time. Now, seeing the incredible poverty that the congregation of the Church lived in, Valerian was conflicted. On the one hand, he had done real, tangible good. He had created something that gave people warmth in the winter, food and drink all year round, and a sense of community and hope. Of the three of them, Val had probably done the most to actually uplift society before coming here.
Still. Everything in this world was their fault. Valerian's. Earl's. Oli's. Every death, every sorrow, every wound, every illness. They had created all of it for the sake of entertainment.
Heinlein had had a concept of 'fictons', the idea that every story was true somewhere, that every time a new story was written a new universe would spring into existence to embody it. If there really were ficton universes, if writing really could create them, then literacy should be abolished. It would save the lives of...more people than he could think of a number to describe. Of course, if literacy were to be banned then people would simply start creating and passing on the stories verbally. Stories had a life of their own, and they fought for survival just as much as any animal did. They burrowed into the minds of young children and ancient elders, reproducing every time they were told to a new ear. When chased in an attempt to stamp them out, they hid deep in the quiet whispers and the anonymous pamphlets.
Stories were powerful. Stories had changed the world. The story of Equality was one that had been told down through the ages and fully matured back in the twentieth century with the advent of radio and television. The story had spread across the land, gliding on the electromagnetic winds as it passed lightly through every ear and every eye. Even those who hated the story had sheltered it. They had passed on corrupted versions of it, adding hatred and poison to the amniotic fluid of the mind so that when the new generation of Equality was born it had been twisted into something antithetical to its parents. Those corrupted children still existed but the true story, the shining story that everyone knew was true regardless of how much they hated that fact, that story was slowly winning the long war against its tortured offspring.
There were other stories. The story of Religion had been around far longer than Equality and had touched more hearts. It had made more promises and been twisted to more ends. Its family tree was deeper and wider and held far more branches than its many-generations-younger cousin. Many of those branches shone purest gold...and many of them dripped poison.
The story of Chosen for the Grave was a tiny story, very young and very weak. It had been heard by a few handfuls of people. Yet still it existed and lived and breathed in their hearts, whispering its promises of adventure and excitement and relief from the boredom and stress of everyday life. It told of great heroes, mythic figures, fearsome monsters. It told of daring escapes, tragedies both quiet and loud, of the power for one person, or a few people, to change society through sheer force of will.
Chosen for the Grave lived and breathed in its own ficton, and so now did its creators. Its authors had become trapped in their own story, no longer above the fearful events and deadly dangers, no long safely sheltered behind the fourth wall. Valerian, Earl, and Oli had found a tentative welcome conditional on their continued usefulness. There was no shortage of ways to be useful, that was certain. Valerian had hundreds, perhaps thousands of jutsu that he could trade. He knew parts of the worldbuilding that the others didn't...Earl because his brain was cheese and he tended to forget things, Oli because there were things created before he joined the team and some of those things never happened to come up thereafter. Sometimes it was neither. There were notes that Valerian had kept stocked away for a rainy day, little doodles and scribbles that had never been run past the others yet had still made it into this world regardless. The painter who lived at 7 Senju Way, 3rd Floor and worked on the mural across the street on his lunch hour. The young couple who lived above the bakery just off Namikaze Park and revelled in the joy that was their new daughter, no matter how sickly she was. The telescope merchant, cursed to never speak with the one person most desperate to buy his wares. Valerian had used his jutsu, mostly the Telescope Technique, to check on these and a hundred other daydreams and half-baked ideas. Every single one of them was here. He was responsible for all of them.
He hadn't mentioned this to Earl or Oli. As far as he could tell, neither of the others had put it together that even the parts they hadn't agreed on were real, and they certainly hadn't spent much time thinking about the implications of creating a universe. Oli because he was too optimistic, too focused on helping the people in front of him. Earl because...well, because he was too wrapped up in his seal research and, honestly, a little oblivious. Valerian hoped that his friend clung tight to that lack of self-examination.
Here it was. The green door with the faded blue trim, the trim that had been put there years ago by a newly-married and apple-cheeked young woman with hope for the future.
He stared at the door for a moment, thinking about creation and destruction and the importance of authorial choices. And then he knocked.
There was a rustling from inside. A moment later, the door opened to reveal an older woman, her skin leathered by decades of working at the tannery. There were tear tracks on her face.
"Mrs Tanaka?" said Valerian, struggling to get the words out. "My name is Valerian. I'm very sorry for your loss. May I come in?"
Hazō sat with Akane on the treetop platform and completely failed to take in the beauty of the sunrise as it slowly dispelled the darkness covering the forest. His attention was firmly elsewhere.
Back in Mist, sometimes his mother would clear her schedule, such as it was, the day before a mission and spend it all with him. Not every mission, in retrospect less than half, but enough for it to feel like a tradition. It was only later, during a campfire conversation with the rest of Team Uplift back in their wilderness days, that he'd learned it wasn't a tradition unique to the Kurosawa family. Many ninja in Mist set aside a day to spend with their loved ones before a B- or A-rank mission from which they thought they might not be coming back.
Hazō's situation wasn't that dire. The old mine was a valuable asset waiting to be exploited, but not one worth realistically risking his life for (or, more importantly, his family's). Still, he'd be dealing with chakra beasts. Enemy ninja could, in theory, be predicted—there were myriad unimaginable ninjutsu, but the ways they were used were severely restricted by training and imagination. Melee or ranged offence, defensive barriers, misdirection, area denial… In truth, for a chūnin, Hazō wasn't that experienced at fighting other ninja—he'd gone from a geninhood of menial labour, to a survivalist lifestyle of avoiding combat whenever possible, to a life of peace behind high walls, where actual missions were the exception rather than the norm—but on the other hand, he had confidence in his pattern-matching ability, and he knew that the battle was halfway won the moment you figured out the enemy's tactics and objectives.
Chakra beasts were not ninja, and did not think like ninja. They didn't care about area denial or setting up combos or tricking the enemy into revealing his trump card too early. With every chakra beast, it seemed like the kami who created the world (assuming Gamasēji was wrong about it being the Sage) had taken some dice and rolled on the random encounter table until they got bored, then squished all the monsters they'd ended up with into a single ravenous abomination with powers that made no sense and could only be predicted by examining remains (if any) and listening to the stories of traumatised survivors (if any). Indeed, part of the terror of the "black hunter" had been that nobody knew anything about it. People who went too deep into the forest simply… disappeared.
Whatever now dwelled inside the mine wouldn't be a serious threat to a team with as much power and versatility as theirs. Probably. Maybe. But just in case, Hazō decided to take a leaf out of Mum's book and make sure he headed out with no regrets.
"I'm ready to talk," he said. "I'm sorry it's taken so long."
Akane shook her head. "I told you I was prepared to wait."
"And you have," he said, "and I appreciate it. Still, I should have got to it sooner. The truth is, Akane…" he hesitated, "I'm scared. Last time, I messed up so badly I lost you as a girlfriend. If I'd done worse, I could have lost you as a friend. When I think about stepping into territory where I have the potential to hurt you that much, part of me just freezes up. I want… more than this, but I also don't. Do you understand?"
"You messed up pretty badly," Akane agreed, "but you're wrong about one thing. You could never have lost me as a friend. You can't. I'm not someone who turns her back on people. Just doing what I did back then, making distance between us, was already one of the hardest things I'd ever done. You can't stop me from loving you, Hazō. Real love doesn't work that way."
Akane had a gift for saying exactly the right words. He didn't know how she did it. Hazō could feel the same potential within himself—sometimes, when the situation called for it, a speech would bubble up from the depths of his soul, and it would just be right—but whatever inner journey she'd made to that place of effortless clarity, he hadn't finished it yet, and all of Mari's manipulation training wasn't going to bring him a single step closer.
Communication took two people, though, and whatever power he'd already gained as a speaker, he had not gained as a listener. He knew she was telling the truth. He knew that Akane didn't lie, and he knew that love was something simpler and clearer to her than the tumultuous, seemingly random, overpowering force it was to him. Still, for all that, he couldn't make himself believe her all the way. Part of him was confident that yes, he, Gōketsu Hazō, could indeed fail badly enough to push her away. Hadn't he already done so much damage without even dreaming it was possible?
Besides, this time he'd already foreseen some of the ways he could fail.
"I want to believe that," he told her, "but the more I think about it, the more I can see real, genuine obstacles that aren't going away with just good intentions. I'm your clan head now. I stopped calling you my apprentice because that power imbalance was dangerous for a relationship. What about now, when I have absolute power over you?"
Akane stared out at the rising sun, dangling her legs over the edge of the platform. It wasn't the same one he'd used with Ami—that would have felt wrong for reasons he couldn't pin down—but after watching the world below bathed in the rain, he'd felt a strange desire to see the same place lit up by the sun, and coming here before dawn when most of the extended Gōketsu Clan was still asleep and yet to start making its countless demands on his time seemed like a perfect idea. Besides, what could possibly more youthful than watching the sun rise together?
"You can't escape that, Hazō," Akane said. "Whoever you have a relationship with, when they marry into the clan, they'll be in the same position as me. Maybe not Ino, but I don't know if clan heads can marry each other. At least, it's never happened in Leaf, and there must be reasons for that."
Hazō couldn't help noticing that she said "Ino" rather than "another clan head". He filed it away as potentially very important.
"This isn't about me, though," he said. "This is about you. You'd be the one to get hurt if things went wrong."
She nodded.
"You're forgetting one thing, Hazō."
"What's that?"
She smiled.
"I trust you. I trust you not to use your power to try to make me do something I don't want to, or if you do, I trust you to listen when I tell you why. That's what you've earned over these past months. I trust that you will want to know how I feel, and that you'll bear those feelings in mind when you make your choices."
"I don't know if that's enough," Hazō said. "I don't want to force you to do anything—ever—but that's my job now. If something needs to be done for the good of the clan, then I'd be betraying my duty if I didn't make it happen—even at the cost of hurting people. Bad enough for that to happen with family. I don't know if a relationship could survive it."
"I trust you," she repeated. "And we aren't alone. If you and I couldn't deal with a conflict, then the others could mediate. Noburi would help us talk things through calmly, and bring hot chocolate. Keiko, who's been having her own issues with taking control versus respecting agency, would offer insight that was just a little bit alien, but that we couldn't get anywhere else. Mari would identify the problem with pin-point precision and give us sage advice that didn't help at all, but somehow got us to move forward anyway. Kagome… Kagome would stay well out of it, but we'd all feel safer knowing that nothing could try to take advantage of our moment of vulnerability and survive.
"I trust you not to lose your way so badly that you stop listening to the people around you. I trust myself to catch you if you start to fall. And I trust both of us to be adults who'll look back on that fight afterwards and use it as an opportunity to grow."
The word "trust" echoed in Hazō's mind. So much trust. How could he be worthy of so much trust when he'd already betrayed it once? How could he, who held more potential for failure in the palm of his hand than most people experienced in a lifetime, accept that gift with just the hope that Akane might be right about him?
Unbidden, Jiraiya's face floated to the top of his mind. The patriarch was grinning his trademark grin, but there was a touch of solemnness in his eyes.
I already know that you'll find the strength to shoulder this responsibility. I know that, with or without Naruto, you'll grow into the leader this clan needs.
Then the Jiraiya in Hazō's heart added words he'd never had a chance to speak while he was alive. When I first met you, I thought I was done becoming who I was. I was the best at everything—war, politics, spycraft, writing, invention, love… at some things, I was even better than Sarutobi-sensei. I was a mature adult who had it all figured out, as a shinobi and as a man. Then you became my family, and suddenly I had to be better. You trusted me to protect you, and guide you, and to be a father and a husband and a leader worth following. I could never be the man you deserved. Nobody could ever be that man. The only thing I could do, I realised in the end, was to work as hard as I could, every day, to become more of him than I was. That was going to be my way of life as a clan head, and it was going to be my way of life as Hokage, and it is the torch I've passed on to you. Honour their trust. It is the only way you can live now.
Why had Hazō even needed to be told something like that? Hadn't he told Yoshio, Shizue, and Karen that being clan head meant taking absolute responsibility? When a member of your clan trusted you, your goal was to live up to that trust. Nothing else.
Nobody said he couldn't angst. Nobody said he couldn't worry whether he was worthy. Jiraiya's final letter was written with the painful humility of a man who knew he had fallen short. But no matter how he felt inside, what a clan head did was be the man his clan trusted him to be, or pass the mantle to someone who would.
How could Hazō claim to have that much resolve when it came to leading the clan if he was too timid to display it in his relationship with one person?
So instead of brushing away her faith, he simply said, "Thank you, Akane."
But that didn't mean he was done. The other obstacle towered far bigger, and this one was a matter of more than resolve. It was plain fact that some questions required more experience, and maybe more intelligence, than Hazō had in order to find the right answers.
"Akane," he said, "there is one other thing that bothers me."
"What is it, Hazō?" Akane asked.
"We talked through my worries about you sacrificing yourself"—she nodded seriously—"but there's more to it than what you're willing to risk your life for. When we broke up, it wasn't just about the ninjutsu, but about your place in my life." That phrasing sounded so arrogant, so self-centred, he realised, but it represented the problem perfectly. "You felt like you were being swept up in my goals and my visions, and it stopped you from being able to live a life of your own. Has that really changed?
"I don't want to insult you in case you really have found your own path and I just haven't realised. But what I see is you always working by my side. You support me. You do the things that need to be done but I just don't notice. Right now, you're giving up all your time to train the Shadow Clone Technique, which I asked you to as part of my plans, and to help Kagome-sensei with his decryption work—and while someone like Keiko might enjoy getting her teeth into that kind of problem, and I know I would if I just had the time, it doesn't strike me as the kind of thing you'd choose of your own will. Clan business is even taking time away from your training with Tsunade, the one thing I know you chose without me being involved in any way whatsoever.
"I'm scared that the closer you get to me, the more you'll end up swept up in my flow again. I don't want that for you. I want you to find a happiness that's just for Gōketsu Akane, a selfish happiness that'll let you become as much as you can of what you want to be. There would be no greater way of hurting you than taking away your future."
Akane gazed at the sun. She wasn't smiling.
"You're not wrong," she said eventually. "I'm a follower. Supporting others is what loyalty means to me, in the end. Sometimes I'm scared that one day the world won't want me to be youthful, and I'll just bow my head and do what needs to be done, and that's where my journey as Gōketsu Akane will end. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just hollow, borrowing somebody else's philosophy to live by, and somebody else's vision to chase, and somebody else's happiness to exist for.
"I know I'm running away from taking responsibility for my own life by thinking that way. Refusing to look for answers… it isn't just unyouthful, it's dangerous. It's how people's souls die. But reaching out for deep truths is hard, and frightening. I'm a good person. Loving, helpful, youthful, enthusiastic, dedicated. What if the truth is that I'm not? What if being hollow would be better, but at that point it's too late to go back?"
Hazō was silent. That was… much more than he'd expected.
She turned to face him.
"But Hazō, what I need from you isn't freedom. That's not yours to give. What I need is… a push on the back. And then, I need someone who'll hold me steady when I come back from wherever it is I've gone. And finally… I want something only you can give me, and only you can help me understand."
Hazō looked at her questioningly.
It almost felt like there was an aura about her. Not a jōnin aura, but something else, overpowering in its intensity.
She smiled, and suddenly the sun was a drab and dreary thing. It was Akane's smile that set the sky on fire, a vivid red rather than her usual shining gold.
"This is my selfishness. I want you, Hazō. I want everything about you.
"This love isn't hollow. It's not something I was taught. It's not something I borrowed. It's not the love of a follower. I didn't know it was there until I passed the Oracle's test and he showed me. This love is hungry, and uncompromising, and if it isn't leashed it will destroy.
"Look at me, Hazō. See me. Hear me. Make me your world the way you've always been mine.
"Don't just stand by my side. Face me."
She paused, as if gathering words. Hazō watched the fire in her eyes—not the familiar comforting glow of the hearth, but a new, all-consuming blaze.
They locked onto his. Perfectly, with no room for escape.
"This is my selfishness, Hazō. I want you. All of you without exception."
The world froze, balancing on a pivot, a single moment stretched into an eternity. Akane was still, waiting for his response.
Hazō didn't know what to say. This wasn't the calm, reasonable Akane he'd come to talk with.
No, it was. He knew Akane, and he could sense control, imposed over something that thrashed and raged against it. All he had to do was say no, and the fire in Akane's eyes would be smothered, and they would once more be just friends, just siblings, and in all likelihood they would never speak of this again.
Should he? This was more than he'd bargained for. Was the answer she'd given him enough? If he'd been right about her struggle with identity, then wasn't he right about the risks of making it worse?
Or was it hypocrisy to accept the half of her words that matched what he already thought while rejecting the half that didn't?
Could he take the risk? Wasn't it safer to just keep going the way they were?
But even if she was struggling with who she was, she knew what she wanted. A push on the back. Someone to hold her steady. The third thing. If he could give those to her, wouldn't it help her on her way to whoever it was she would become?
What was the right thing to do? Give her space, or step close to support her? This time, Jiraiya had no advice (though, given his romantic track record, that was probably for the best).
Instead, to his utter shock, the face Hazō got was Ami's.
In the end, which one of them are you?
Hazō the brother. Hazō the clan head. Hazō the lover. In the end, which one of them was he?
Yes.
His supportive, fraternal love. His passionate, romantic love. His drive to be the best man he could for those who trusted in him. All of them were Hazō, independently, but also all at the same time. He would give her all of him, and if that wasn't enough to make this work, then Hazō would become more until it did.
He opened his arms and reached out to hold her.
He never got close. Before he could so much as brush her with his fingertips, Akane pounced with all the focus and explosive power of a Kagome blast ring.
As the two melted into each other, Hazō made an executive decision. Just for today, the Human Path could manage without him.
-o-
You have received 1 + 1 + 1 = 3 XP.
-o-
In the end, Hazō felt guilty enough about his dereliction of duty that on coming home late at night, he decided to at least use up his remaining chakra on experiments. He established the following:
- The earth clone performs the Earth Clone Technique, correctly as far as you can tell. The ground rises up as if to form a clone but then immediately collapses. Hazō does not know why.
- The earth clone performs the Shadow Clone Technique. The shadow clone behaves just like the original, which is to say it obeys Hazō's orders, but ignores its creator. It disappears when the Earth Clone Technique expires 10 minutes later. Hazō does not receive its memories. During a second test, he asks the earth clone about its memories, but can't get a meaningful answer.
- Hazō's shadow clone can use the Earth Clone Technique as normal. The resulting clones are of equal strength to Hazō's, which is to say so low that it's impossible to see any difference.
-o-
Voting is closed. The next update will be the plan from last Sunday.
I'm not bothering to roll any of the fights in this chapter. Thanks to Shadow Clones and Summons and the nature of the opponents, you are facing zero risk so there's no point spending the time and effort on it.
"You bought this?" Noburi said doubtfully. The three of them were standing atop the last ridge before the valley that was the western demarcation of the Gōketsu iron mine and surrounding land.
Hazō nodded but didn't say anything. He was wrestling with his own response and trying to find a way to frame it positively.
"I question your financial acuity," Keiko noted.
"It was never intended as a profit center," Hazō said defensively. "I was thinking about it as an emergency bolt hole if we needed to escape Leaf after Hyūga got elected."
Noburi grunted. "Check me on this, but am I correct that I'm looking at about twenty, maybe thirty acres of land?"
"About that, yes. We've also go the next valley over, which is something like twice as big."
"Uh-huh. And am I also correct that it is a literally unbroken field of bloodbriar and tanglethorn?"
Well, that was unfair. "It's not unbroken," Hazō said, pointing. "There's that big tree right there." He hesitated and then decided that he did in fact need to add, "Also, apparently there's sickvine mixed in."
His brother gave him a sidelong glance. "Seriously? You know that shit is practically impossible to get rid of, right? The rest of it, fine. Enough applications of Kagome's First Rule and maybe we'd have something, but if there's sickvine in there as well...."
"It is possible to eliminate large fields of sickvine," Keiko said. "It merely requires a tremendous amount of effort. We will need to destroy all of the plants, then burn the ground to get rid of their spores, then turn the earth over so that the roots of the plant are exposed. My pangolins are well suited to that task. We will undoubtedly miss some but regular patrols can keep the problem manageable."
"What a bunch of whiners," Candoru muttered.
"Excuse me?" Hazō asked his summon. "I didn't quite hear that. Would you like to try again?"
"C'mon, guy! It's just a bunch of plants! How bad can it be?"
The three experienced ninja looked at one another.
"Summons don't breathe, right?" Hazō asked Keiko.
She shook her head. "They do not. Chakra construct only, no biological processes."
"Hang on," Noburi said. "They have a sense of smell. How does that work?"
Candoru's tongue lolled. "A lot better than yours, two legs."
"Har de har de har. You're so funny."
"Thank you for recognizing this additional aspect of my greatness."
Noburi shook his head. "Yeah, that's not going to get old."
"Why don't you go inspect the valley for us, Candoru?" Hazō said innocently.
Candoru looked up at his summoner dubiously. "This is one of those things where you think I'm not going to be able to hack it, isn't it? One of Alpha's little 'get him killed as much as you can because the scoutmasters dislike being shown up for the fuddy-duddy scaredy-pups they are' things?"
Hazō shrugged. "Honestly, you probably won't have any issues. There's a few dangerous species that live in sickvine fields, like chakra voles, but they're probably not a threat to you. You don't have any blood so the bloodbriar won't attack, and you can steer clear of the tanglethorn."
"Fine."
o-o-o-o
"I still say you could have mentioned the smell," Candoru griped, rubbing his nose. "Oh my god, it's like someone found a bloated, rotting, maggoty cat carcass that had been lying in the sun for a week, pissed on it, and then they shoved my entire face up its asshole."
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"We mentioned spores," Hazō said unrepentantly, tossing another spray of explosives to his left while Noburi did the same on the right and Keiko to the front. All three of them had Purifier masks strapped tightly to their face; the rush of air into the mouth and nose was uncomfortable and distractingly loud, but it was better than breathing sickvine spores. The most they had managed for Candoru was a towel thoroughly soaked in lemon water before being tied around his nose with bandages. He wasn't willing to have his mouth muzzled so the bandages only went around his upper jaw and therefore he couldn't close his mouth or prevent himself from drooling. "What, you didn't think spores had a smell? Why else would it be called sickvine?"
"I thought it made you sick if you ate it! Besides, I came from downwind and there was nothing. Oh clouded sky, it's so deep in my nose I can taste it." He pawed frantically at his nose to no effect.
"Well of course not," Hazō said. "The spores would have long since settled out of the air. You probably kicked some up with you entered the field, and the plants sprayed you when you jostled them. Just be glad that you're not a meat person. If we breathe them in, the spores have a habit of taking root and starting to grow inside our lungs and nose. Very painful, generally fatal unless caught early and flushed with alcohol."
"Which is an exceptionally unpleasant experience," Keiko noted.
"Just get me out of this field and up onto the high ground. This mine of yours can't possibly be as—hah!" He lunged across Hazō's path and bit through a root that was coiled up, ready to sting as soon as Hazō was past. Powerful jaws bit straight through the root; Candoru shook his head, ripping the remains of it out of the ground. He spat the plant parts out, turned around on them, and lifted his leg.
"Takin' my own back," he said, staring Hazō right in the eyes as he widdled on the defeated threat.
"Thanks," Hazō said, smiling. "C'mon, it's not much farther to the lake. I want to check that first and then we'll go to the mine."
o-o-o-o
"This is your lake?" Candoru said, audibly unimpressed.
"I admit, it's not quite what I was hoping for," Hazō said, looking out across the algae-scummed surface.
The lake did have an inlet and outlet, so there was a minimal degree of sluggish movement in the center part. In towards the shore, not so much. Large swaths of it were covered in a sickly purple algae. The parts where the water was visible revealed only greenish muck.
"You can waterwalk, right Candoru?" Hazō asked.
"Of course!"
"Great. You mind taking a stroll over to the outlet and tell me how hard it would be to enlarge it?"
Candoru gave him narrow eyes. "You're trying to get me killed again, aren't you?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Candoru huffed and rolled his eyes, but he gave a disgruntled "Fine," and strode out onto the water where he was promptly killed.
"Oh wow," Noburi said, impressed. "I think that's the biggest horrorfish I've ever seen. What do you think, Keiko? Eighteen, nineteen inches?"
"A bit less. Perhaps fifteen."
"C'mon, sis, you're doing it wrong. When you tell fish stories you're supposed to exaggerate a little. Here, try it like so: 'A horrorfish killed my annoying brother's summon and the fish was thiiiiis big!'" He winked at Hazō. "I'll let you speculate on who the 'annoying' applies to."
Hazō rolled his eyes and Keiko gave Noburi a gimlet stare.
"I do not need to exaggerate," she said. "Truthful and accurate reports are the cornerstone of professionalism."
Hazō frowned. "I thought that careful planning and preparation—Summoning Technique: Candoru!—was the cornerstone of professionalism?"
Poof!
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF BLOOD GRAVY WAS THAT?!"
"That was a horrorfish," Hazō said. "Very fast moving ambush predator. They generally use a leaping attack from behind."
"IT STABBED ME IN MY DINGUS!! WHO STABS A GUY IN THE DINGUS?!?!"
"Horrorfish, apparently," Noburi said, smiling sweetly, handing a flask of chakra water to Hazō.
Candoru grumbled his way into silence. "Well, at least I can't smell or taste those darn spores anymore."
"Good to know. Okay, as soon as you finish checking the lake's outlet we'll head up to the mine."
"...Lovely."
o-o-o-o
"Summoning Technique: Candoru!"
"Fuckin' yow! It got me in the bunghole this time!"
o-o-o-o
"Summoning Technique: Candoru!"
"Seriously, what the fuck?!"
"Hey, try to be more careful, okay? Summoning is expensive, Hazō ran out of chakra a while ago, and there's not much for me to recharge from out here."
"I'll show you recharging, Toad boy. I'll recharge your ass right under that damn lake. I'll—"
"Sorry," Hazō said. "What was that, Candoru?"
"Nothing."
"Thought not. Forget the lake for a bit. Let's go up to the mine."
"Fine."
"No, mine," Noburi said, grinning. "You know, a big hole in the ground that you dig stuff out of?"
Candoru gave him a dirty look but led the way up the hill.
"Incidentally," Keiko said, "your approach to the horrorfish was counterproductive."
"Thank you, Miss Obvious. Do you have anything actually useful to say?"
"Yes. Your mistake was in attempting stealth. Their senses are significantly keener through water than yours are, meaning that you will not be able to evade their notice. They exist under the surface where it is difficult to observe them, and therefore you will not be able to detect them before they attack. Their weakness is in the method of attack: A high-speed leap from the water. It requires a significant run-up in order to gain speed, during which time they cannot turn well. They will abort their attack if the prey steps off the available lane of attack. So long as you move unpredictably from side to side you can prevent them from ever launching their attack."
Candoru shot Hazō with the eyes of betrayal. "You could have told me that." He immediately raised a silencing paw before Hazō could do more than open his mouth. "I know, I know. Blah blah get him killed blah blah learning experience blah de blah de blah blah. Hrmph." He turned and walked another few paces, then stopped.
"There's more of that damn sickweed. Do your explosions thing. And give me that towel back."
o-o-o-o
"Seriously?"
Hazō nodded. "Yes."
Candoru looked at the entrance to the mine, then at Hazō, then back at the entrace to the mine. "It's a heckin' great hole in the side of the hill. You want me to go in there."
"Yes."
"Just for funsies? Not to get anything or fight anything, just to wander gormlessly around?"
"Yes."
"..."
"Aww, it's okay," Noburi said. "Don't worry, little guy. Lots of people are scared of the dark."
"I'm not scared of the dark! It's just...okay, seriously, can you guys not smell that?"
The human exchanged looks. "Smell what?" Hazō asked.
Candoru sniffed experimentally, then dragged in a deeper breath when he was sure there were no sickweed spores around. "It's like...rot? Maybe. But blood and dirt mixed in. And..." He shook his white-furred head. "I don't know. I've never smelled anything like it. It makes my ruff stand up, that's for sure."
I was true. The dog's fur was standing up across his neck and shoulders.
"Well, whatever it is can't hurt you," Hazō said with a shrug. "Get in there and tell us what's there. Be careful and keep talking as you go in."
"Grr. Fine. Fair warning: If you make me go in there and anything else pops me in the dingus or the bunghole I am going to pee on your sleeping bag."
"Threat noted. Do you want a light source?"
The dog considered that carefully, then nodded. "Yeah. If I need to be calling back to you lot then I can't stealth anyway. Might as well be able to see."
"No problem." Hazō knelt down and pulled out a Jiraiya's Awesome Daybright Lantern Seal, which he affixed to the top of Candoru's head with a blob of tree sap.
Candoru proceeded into the mine one careful step at a time, stopping between steps to carefully review his surroundings.
"Don't forget to keep talking!" Hazō called. "We need to know what's in there!"
"Agh! Fine! It's dark as the inside of a Cat's heart. The walls are rock, duh, mostly gray stone with colored horizontal stripes through it. There is pitting everywhere—walls, floor, ceiling. The pitting is small, none more than the size of one of your stupid human thumbs that us Dogs should have had if you humans hadn't stolen them all. There's a faint breeze coming from deeper in and I can smell water so I think—holy fuck!"
Hazō waited a moment, then turned his attention inward to the aetheric channel that connected him to his summon. He sighed and jabbed his much-bandaged finger on the pin that was now embedded in his belt.
"Summoning Technique: Candoru."
Candoru appeared, wide-eyed and trembling, and rapidly spun in a circle as he checked for threats.
"What happened?" Hazō asked.
"I was walking along and suddenly something fell out of the ceiling. I dodged it. It was some kind of big fat worm about like this." He sketched in the dirt with one toenail, indicating something perhaps an inch and a half long and a third as wide. "The front of its head split open in three parts and it was lined with teeth. Big ones for its size. I watched it hit the ground and start chewing its way into the damn floor. Then another one fell on my back and started chewing into me. Next thing you know, I'm home again and Huntmaster Cansudo was laughing at me. Then you summoned me back and here we are."
The Gōketsu exchanged looks.
"Did it fall out of one of those pits you mentioned?" Hazō asked.
"Yeah. And those pits were everywhere. That wasn't even one of the biggest ones."
"Feel like taking another run at them?"
"Fuck right I do."
o-o-o-o
"Feel like taking another run at them?"
"Fuck right I do. I know what I did wrong last time."
o-o-o-o
"Feel like taking another run at them?"
"You know it. I should have realized the first time: Bait them out, dodge, then walk on the ceiling once they've dropped out of their pits."
o-o-o-o
"Feel like taking another run at them? We've got plenty more lantern seals."
"And I've got enough chakra left that Hazō can summon you four or five more times," Noburi said with a grin.
Candoru glowered but remained sitting. He looked off towards the lake and muttered something.
"Sorry, what?"
"I said no, okay? It would be one thing if there was an actual objective here, but there isn't. Cats, Hornets, whatever—I'll take 'em down no problem. Enclosed quarters with worms dropping on me, jumping out of the walls, and sometimes reaching up from underfoot? No. I'm done for now. I'll think about it and tomorrow I'll kill all those little bastards."
"Well, that was surprisingly easy," Noburi said. "Pay up, Keiko."
"I am paying under protest," she said, pulling her purse out and counting out ten fifty-ryō coins. "The bet was that he would learn the lesson by the end of the first day. He is still talking about going back in."
"Yeah, but he figured out that he needed to at least put some thought in and come back later." He held out his hand and waited without moving for Keiko to drop the coins in from a foot above. "Pleasure doing business with you, sis."
"You two know I'm right here, yeah?"
"Yes," Keiko said disapprovingly. "In large part because you just cost me five hundred ryō."
Candoru suddenly looked uncertain. "Uh...sorry?" He hesitated, looking back and forth between the three humans. "We're good, right?"
Keiko studied him for a moment, then sniffed dismissively. "I cannot afford to throw stones. You did in fact learn your lessons rather less expensively than did I. Yes. We are 'okay', as you say."
Candoru gave a tongue-lolling doggy smile. "Sweeeet. Say...you've still got lots of explosives, right?"
Keiko turned to Noburi in triumph but he raised his hands defensively. "Sorry, sis. Bet's paid, no takebacks."
"Hrmph."
XP AWARD: 5 This update covered 48 hours.
Brevity XP: 1
"QM had fun" bonus: 0 Sigh. I'm not going to, but I really should put a gazillion-point penalty here for forcing me to admit that writing punching is no fun anymore because you guys have outgrown all the normal threats and it's difficult to justify throwing level-appropriate stuff at you. I guess I'll have to learn to enjoy...*gags*...politics and romance. :sadbird:
Author's Note: You threw a bunch of explosives into the mine to clear out the rockworms. The mine promptly collapsed because it was apparently so Swiss-cheesed by the worms digging their tunnels that it was being supported mostly by good luck and a lack of dropped pins.
It is possible to reclaim this land but it will be a massive amount of work and definitely not economically viable solely for the iron mine. If you want the mine to work then you could bring in miners to dig a new shaft, which you would then have to inspect for infestation. You would need a large amount of ninja-hours to thoroughly blow up and burn fifty acres of land, then have pangolins roll across it very thoroughly or bring in hundreds of civilians to turn it over and dispose of all the sickweed roots. You would need to outfit them all with Purifier masks and there would probably still be some losses. You aren't actually sure what it would take to convert the lake into a usable resource. You checked and draining it by blasting out the retaining wall would not be too difficult.
Keiko sees no value in staying here and wants to get back to the Nara compound and (although she fervently denies it) Tenten. She will stay if you have a good reason to but she will be grumpy about it. Noburi also would like to head out; his chakra reserves are so huge that it's impractical for him to refill them in normal wilderness such as this. He needs the presence of dozens of ninja in order to get enough spare chakra to tank up. He too will stay if you want to but won't be happy about it.
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, September 9, 2020, at 12pm London time.
The totality of the Naked Jaybird, booked ASAP after Hazō finished leafing through Noburi's guest list, felt hollow. Instead of the promised crowds, there were maybe twenty people milling around, dwarfed by the mountains of prepared snacks. Hazō didn't object in principle—as clan head, he was getting used to being swarmed by strangers, but he still felt more comfortable at intimate gatherings—but he felt sorry for Noburi, who had clearly expected his coming of age to be celebrated on an epic scale.
"I just don't get it," the man of the hour muttered. "I know I've only known most of them for a few months, but for every last one to cancel at the last minute… It's a knockout punch straight to the ego."
Hazō couldn't help but agree, considering the excuses, which ranged from the plausible, such as "I'm washing my hair", "I don't feel well", "I have an urgent mission", and "my sister was eaten by a chakra lemming" (it was that time of year) to those that weren't even trying, such as Akimichi Chōko's claim that she was on a diet and couldn't risk being in the same building as food. Something was definitely wrong.
"Nice coat, by the way," Noburi added. "Where'd you get it?"
Hazō gave an inscrutable smile. "This coat has a truly incredible story behind it, but one this world isn't yet ready to hear."
"I won't hold my breath."
Hazō surveyed the area. Akane was speaking quietly with Ino near the dais reserved for the musicians (who, being terrifyingly outnumbered civilians, had taken cover in one of the back rooms until it was time for them to perform). Akane's presence was electrifying, an unfamiliar and disorienting feeling, and if Hazō didn't know better, he'd almost suspect Mari to be playing a prank with her Lightning Element.
Come to think of it, he didn't know better. Few things were more in character than Mari picking up on their as-yet-unannounced relationship change and deciding to mess with them while the opening was there. But no, Mari was otherwise occupied having a very animated, completely silent conversation with Ami and Tenten on subjects unknown. Keiko stood nearby, watching attentively and jotting down notes in rapidfire shorthand.
Or was that her chatting with Ino and Chōji? Noburi had made a point of inviting Snowflake individually. He claimed that he was now the only man in the world with four different types of sister: sisters by blood (Aya and Saya), a sister by adoption (Keiko), a sister by metaphysical extension (Snowflake), and a sister by the transitive property (Ami). He'd added that the next step in his master plan was to get a sister-in-law, which would be a race between globally unprecedented, radical legal reform and Hazō sorting out his love life. Maybe, he added by way of consolation, they could make Keiko's wedding the kind with cute bridesmaids.
Shikamaru, Hazō noted, wasn't there to complete the ISC set, as Noburi had sent him a note to the effect that while he was, of course, invited, Noburi would be just as happy if Shikamaru responded by staying home and treating himself to something nice in Noburi's honour.
Then there was the gaggle of unfamiliar young men, the few of Noburi's friends who'd honoured their RSVPs instead of begging off at the last second. It was they, coming from a world where sharks were only a thing of stories, who'd asked the most questions about the coat.
"Oh, this? It's from the Mist Academy graduation test. To pass, you have to choke a shark to death with your bare hands. What? All right, I admit it, I made that one up. You're allowed gloves—shark skin is really rough.
"I just found it in my bedroom when I woke up one day. There was a note saying, 'Your father left this coat in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well.' The mystery is… my father never wore a coat.
"Actually, this started out as a normal leather coat. It only began looking like this after I bound Hoshigaki Kisame's screaming soul to the cloth for all eternity. Sometimes I summon his shade to give me tactical advice. I mean, what else do you do when someone raises a hand against your family?"
Now, the boys were clustered around Yuno, the beautiful exotic foreigner, and she was smiling at the attention even as her hand slowly tightened around Satsuko's grip. Hazō would have to do something about that soon. Meanwhile, on the periphery… Hazō had an equally bad feeling about the periphery, where Neji (who'd been invited, amazingly, lest he "gatecrash the party out of burning jealousy") was talking to Kadokura Ruri. Why had Noburi invited her? Why was she immune to the curse that had befallen so many other guests? What were the implications of her talking to Neji? Hazō wanted to ask, but had a feeling he might not enjoy the answers.
Finally, Kagome-sensei's voice could occasionally be heard from the kitchen, where he was busy browbeating the civilian cooks into making a new batch of snacks "with a proper kick to them, none of this bland mush I wouldn't feed to a toddler".
Seeing all the boys clustering around one girl, Hazō had a moment of realisation. He reached for the guest list.
"Shimura Yumi. Sunohara Sachiko. Minami Shiina. Meiori Nanako. Nara Shion. Sakurai Kanade. Noburi, are all the names on these three sheets girls?"
"Well, duh," Noburi said.
"This is three quarters of the guest list!"
"Don't worry," Noburi said. "Someday, you will be almost as popular as me. Two thirds, maybe, if you leverage the clan head thing for all it's worth. And get a proper haircut."
"Shut up, Noburi," Hazō said, concealing his pity. It wasn't Noburi's fault that the best girl on the planet had already been claimed. "It's just… yesterday morning, Yuno asked to see the list, then said she'd be going out for the day. She took Satsuko."
Both boys slowly pivoted around to look at Yuno. She smiled and waved.
Keiko and Kadokura were summoners. Akane was Yuno's best friend. Mari and Ami terrified her. Tenten only had eyes for Keiko. Ino was a clan head specialising in psychological warfare. Those were the only other women at Noburi's birthday party.
Hazō patted Noburi on the shoulder reassuringly. "Good luck."
"Oh, no," Noburi said after a second, eyes widening. "She's just noticed that Kimura's wearing a green bracelet on his left hand in a place of business. Who does that? Oh, hell, she's about to—"
"Ladies and gentlemen!" Hazō bellowed, interrupting the diplomatic incident before axes became involved. "It's time for everyone's favourite time of day: gift-giving time!"
Yuno lowered her axe. Kimura, a tall, gangly youth with almost Naruto levels of poor colour coordination, took the opportunity to back away.
"Gōketsu Noburi. Step forward."
Noburi stepped forward solemnly.
Hazō pulled off the sharkskin coat and passed it to Noburi, folded across his hands as if it were a ceremonial blade.
"I hereby bestow this sacred sharkskin coat upon you. May it come to bear many legends, only some of which you will make up."
Noburi took the coat bemusedly. "So… you're giving me this coat you've been wearing all day?"
"…yes?"
Noburi shrugged. "Eh, it's a nice coat. Thanks, Hazō." He put it on, tugged on the lapels a couple of times, then looked around. At Hazō's prearranged signal, a couple of waiters hustled up with a full-body mirror.
"A very nice coat," Noburi amended. "The girls will be all over this… if I'm ever allowed to meet any girls again."
"Ooh, I've got just the thing to complete this outfit," Mari said. She walked up to Noburi, examined the coat critically, then tugged it in a couple of places to make it settle in a more flattering form. Standing on tiptoe, she reached up and slid a chain over his head.
The silver pendant bore the character for "dragon", framed by a thick, elaborately-shaped cerulean ring that, on closer inspection, was a remarkably accurate portrayal of one mythical beast in particular: Noburi's humongous dragon, complete with tiny ruby eyes glowing with wrath, and a tail composed of water droplets fading into nothingness behind it. Hazō had no idea how the craftsman, without ever having seen the original, had managed to capture its sense of majestic, torrential violence.
"Badass," Noburi said after another few seconds with the mirror. "If I were a girl, I would totally fall in love with me."
"Hey," Ami said, "we've got a theme going!"
She offered Noburi an innocent-looking scroll. By size and shape, it seemed like a standard ninjutsu scroll, but where you would expect a label describing the contents, it bore only the dread mark of "^_^".
Noburi unfurled it, spent a few seconds reading, and then he looked right at Hazō with what could only be described as a malevolent grin.
"Say, Ami, is this what I think it is?"
Ami beamed.
Hazō got a powerful sense of impending doom.
"I'll make it my top priority," Noburi promised.
"Could you make sure I'm there when you first try it out? Pretty please?"
"No promises," Noburi said, struggling to hold in laughter. "The true master bows before nothing but comedic timing."
"Preach it."
After that, it was a massive relief when Keiko chose to go next. Whatever she had in store, it would be both practical and reasonably likely not to result in chaos and destruction for Hazō personally.
"This is a joint present from Snowflake and myself," she stated, handing Noburi a sheaf of documents which, after the preceding gifts, looked about as thrilling as… well, a sheaf of documents. "She proposed the original plan, which I of necessity had to implement alone, and we cooperated on the final structuring and transcription."
Noburi nodded. "And it is decorated with a drawing of a toad with its tongue tied in a knot because…?"
"Snowflake was feeling whimsical," Keiko said scathingly. "This file is the product of extensive discussion with the Pangolin Diplomatic Corps, which as you will recall has centuries of experience interacting with the Toads. It contains a detailed listing of unique Toad slang and idiom, with notes based on my own experience of the peculiarities of summon culture. Snowflake's contribution is an analogous dictionary of Toad insults, listed according to level of formality and familiarity. I am given to understand that the use of any from the final page is considered legitimate casus belli."
"Whoa." Noburi flicked through the pages. "My Toad street cred is going to be through the roof. And I'll finally have something to say back to Gamasēji when he starts lecturing me, the yellow-throated sprogfloinker."
Keiko winced. "On second thought, this was a terrible idea. Is it too late to retract the gift in favour of some nice, inoffensive chocolate?"
"Yes."
-o-
This is Part 1 of the update. Part 2 will have to be posted over the weekend, when I have spoons to finish it. In the meantime, voting is open.
What do you do (starting the day after the party)?
Voting closes on Saturday 12th of August, 9 a.m. New York Time.
"Nice to see you guys again," Hazō said, sipping his tea.
"Indeed."
Keiko rolled her eyes at her husband's duosyllabic response. Shikamaru had massive dark circles under his eyes and was visibly on the edge of falling asleep—in a 'I have not slept in three days' way instead of his usual 'ah, the ennui of my existence' way. They were meeting in the sitting room of the Nara Clan Head's personal chambers, and Shikamaru was almost visibly struggling not to look longingly at the bedroom door.
"Shikamaru, you know that you could have delayed this meeting, right?" Noburi asked. "No offense, but you look like crap."
"I am aware," replied the young Clan Head, covering a yawn. "Despite my appearance, I was actually looking forward to this meeting. Whatever you are here to request will be stated directly, most likely be of a prosocial nature, and almost certainly not exploitative or intended as a trap. This will make a pleasing contrast to the meetings that have been occupying my time for the last three weeks." He raised a hand in an interrupting gesture. "The meetings about which, unfortunately, I may not speak." A brief smile flickered across his exhausted face. "A fact for which you should be very grateful."
"Indeed," said Keiko, managing an excellent mimicry of her husband's earlier comment. "The complaining has been almost as exhausting for me as the paperwork and discussions have for him."
"Would you prefer 'whining'?" she said, her lips quirking in a teasing smile that actually showed a modicum of affection and thereby left Hazō feeling that his worldview had been rocked to its core.
"We don't necessarily want something," Hazō said, wounded. "Maybe we're just here for...okay, yeah, fine." He shrugged, grinning. "I want to pick up those dogsleds your engineers have been working on, but I also wanted to talk to you about our Seventh Path chakra farm. Noburi?"
"It's pretty cool," Noburi said. "The idea is that we get a bunch of high-chakra critters and stash them on the Seventh Path. As long as I keep a contracted Toad at the farm I can reverse-summon back to it from anywhere. I'm out in the field and running low on chakra? Boom! I vanish and reappear in ninety seconds, full up on chakra again."
"It also allows him to ship chakra water around," Hazō put in.
"I was getting to that! Anyway, yes, it lets me ship chakra water around, assuming the help of another Summoner who has a contracted animal at the farm. I go up there and give them some water, they go home and distribute it."
"Have you verified that your chakra water can travel between Paths?" Shikamaru asked.
"Sure. Every time I go up to talk to Gamabunta or one of the others, I bring my barrel. Easy peasy."
"What happens to water that is left behind when you change Paths?"
Hazō and Noburi exchanged nervous glances.
"We...haven't tried that one," Noburi admitted.
Shikamaru sighed. "Perhaps that might be a good test to run," he said with exaggerated patience. "It would still be useful to be able to refill other Summoners, but your ability to refill non-Summoners might be limited."
"Um...yeah. We'll do that. Thanks."
Silence fell as three pairs of eyes rested on Noburi.
"Oh! You mean now. Right, one sec. Summoning Technique: Gamasid!" Noburi pricked his finger on a kunai and started to touch it to the floor, only to pause as Keiko flicked a napkin in the way. Touching the hardwood with a layer of cloth over it had no effect, as the familiar poof of orange smoke appeared, dispersed, and revealed the toad that Jiraiya used to use as a messenger, reverse-summoner, and ambassador.
The thumb-sized toad stretched and yawned. "Hey, Noburi. How's it hangin'?"
"Doing well, Sid. You?"
"Eh. Can't complain, although you did wake me up from a lovely nap and offering some tea would be a nice gesture. Maybe even introducing me to your friends. You know, like a civilized person would."
Noburi chuckled, shaking his head in dismay. "Right, sorry. You know Hazō already. Shikamaru, Keiko, this is Gamasid. He was Jiraiya's friend, confidante, ambassador, and primary reverse-summoner. I wouldn't presume to call him my friend yet, although I'm hoping we get there. Sugar in your tea, Sid?" He poured a small amount into a saucer and pushed it closer. "I'm sorry I don't have an appropriately-sized cup."
Gamasid shook his head and sighed. "See, now this here? Shocking. Simply shocking. Just because I'm about one ten-thousandth of your size, is that any reason you shouldn't always have on your person a fully stocked set of every supply that I might possibly need?" Fortunately, the tone was teasing or Hazō would have been worried.
"I'll get right on that," Noburi said, grinning.
"Oh, and yes on the sugar. Two lumps."
"One ten-thousandth is ambiguous," Shikamaru pointed out. "Are you measuring by weight or by volume?"
Gamasid laughed. "I like this one. Snarky." He paused to lift up one of the sugar lumps in both tiny hands, dip it in the tea, and slurp the tea back out. The lump was half his bodylength but he handled it easily.
"After you finish your tea, would you mind reverse-summoning me? We want to run an experiment." Even as he spoke, Noburi was unslinging his barrel and dipping out two teacups of water. He passed one to Hazō, set the other on the low table in front of them, and immediately re-equipped the barrel.
"Sure. So, what's goin' on with you lot? Life treating you all okay? Any hot gossip to share?"
Amazingly, the tiny toad was not joking. He took ten minutes to slowly work his way through the saucer of tea, drinking all of it through the sugar lumps, and the whole time he insisted on being regaled with juicy details of the lives of humans he had almost certainly never even heard of, much less met. Finally, however, even Gamasid was sated.
"Be right back," Noburi said. "Hazō, drink that one after I leave, the other when I get back."
"Right." Hazō quickly poured chakra through his muscles, pointlessly boosting his strength and speed merely for the sake of using up the chakra. The moment the smoke cleared from Noburi's departure to the Seventh Path he raised the cup in salute and with a casual, "Health!" knocked it back as he had done with hundreds of cups of chakra water before.
The quicksilver power of his brother's chakra completely failed to infuse his coils.
Seconds later, Noburi reappeared. "Did it work?"
Hazō shook his head and drank the second cup. It had precisely as much effect as the first cup, which was to say none.
"It would appear," Shikamaru noted, "that when you are on a different Path any water from which you are separated loses its virtue."
"Sloppy thinking, husband. We know only that it loses its virtue when the water is here and he is on the Seventh Path." Perhaps only Team Uplift, and hopefully Shikamaru, would have known Keiko well enough to recognize her grave tone as the teasing that it was.
Shikamaru may or may not have recognized it, because he glared at his wife and when he spoke his tone was exasperated. "If you insist on being precise, we know only that water in those two cups loses its virtue, under all currently-applicable circumstances such as astrological configuration, lithomantic effects of the location at which Hazō is seated, and far too many other potential influences to list. However, I believe 'when the water and the source are on different Paths' to be a plausible inference."
Keiko nodded and turned her hand in silent apology.
"That's unfortunate," Hazō said, hoping to head off what could potentially turn into a marital spat if the exhausted Shikamaru was unable to take teasing in good part. "It means that we will only be able to refill Summoners as opposed to any ninja, but—"
"What you mean 'we', list boy?" Noburi demanded, grinning. "Seems to me there's only one person here doing all the work."
Hazō chuckled. "Fair. Okay, you will only be able to refill Summoners. Still, Leaf has enough of them that this is a really valuable service."
"Which brings us to the next part of my cunning plan," Noburi said.
"Your cunning plan?" Hazō asked, eyebrows up.
"Fine, our cunning plan. We're going to sell access to this service to any Leaf Summoner. Obviously, Keiko gets it free because she's my sister and she's awesome. Still, there are some details to be sorted out and we were hoping that as the resident geniuses you guys would help us sort them out."
Shikamaru yawned again, barely managing to cover it. "Yes?"
"Back at the Exams, Jiraiya warned us about the danger of draining chakra from summons," Noburi explained. "We're trying to figure out how to do it safely and not having much luck. We tried taking critters from the Human Path over there, with no success. It's not even predictable—sometimes they die, sometimes they are just left behind, blah blah no luck. Any ideas?
"Are there toads you might enquire of?"
Noburi nodded. "Yeah, Ma and Pa and Gamabunta might know something. I wanted to do my homework before talking to them; sometimes they can be a bit snarky. If we can't take animals, what do you think about me taking an egg and raising it there?"
Keiko and Shikamaru exchanged dubious glances and Shikamaru shrugged.
"It seems worth trying," he said. "I feel that I lack the knowledge about the Seventh Path and Summoning in general to be useful. On this topic I shall leave you to my brilliant wife." He turned to Keiko. "Did you find the compliment believable and heart-warming? I have been informed that such things can promote marital harmony and greater efficacy of interpersonal relations."
Keiko nodded thoughtfully. "It was a trifle obvious. A more effective version might have been to merely turn to me and say 'Keiko? You are the expert here.'"
"Thank you, I shall remember that for next time." He turned back to Hazō and Noburi. "Is there anything else? If not, I have a meeting in two hours and would prefer to sleep."
"No, we're good," Hazō said. "Thank you for taking the time."
"Of course. It's what family does, and I am your brother-in-law." He began gathering up his tea implements and placing them back on the tray.
Hazō waited a beat expectantly.
"Weren't you going to ask for my critique?"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Your critique?"
"On the compliment and...I dunno, if it would be as effective as intended at promoting harmonious relations between our clans or whatever."
Shikamaru frowned. "Not all interactions are the same, Hazō. I am unfamiliar with being married and therefore require instruction. I am more confident in my ability to interact on the basis of friendship and therefore feel no need to ask for review. In short: Sometimes a compliment is simply a compliment. Now, if you'll excuse me." He stood, bowed, and disappeared into the bedroom.
o-o-o-o
"What do you think?" Hazō asked, watching the latest-version dogsled vanish into the distance with Canaria barking in excitement as she ran.
"It seems much improved," Cannai said gravely. "We shall perform additional tests. Please return after the Human Path's second noon from now. We will have better answers at that time."
"Yes, sir." Hazō had long since given up trying to manage time conversions between the Paths and contented himself with being glad that Cannai seemed to have no problem with it.
"Candoru had interesting things to say about his time with you," Cannai noted. His tongue was not actually lolling out in canine laughter, but the tip of it could be seen at the corner of his mouth.
"Oh?"
"Yes. He was quite disgruntled at the prevalence of unfamiliar lifeforms on the Human Path. There are no fish on the Seventh Path that hunt by, and I quote, 'Jumping up your bunghole!'"
There was definitely a bit more tongue showing.
"He actually did pretty well," Hazō said.
Cannai cocked his head and the tongue disappeared. "Do tell." The tone was so dry that nearby water sources evaporated. Big ones. Like, 'inland sea' big.
"For a first timer, I mean. Um...he was...very courageous and showed a lot of determination?"
"His overabundance of courage and determination is precisely what I wanted you to train out of him."
"Yes...right. Well, he did get his head around the idea after just a few hours. He refused to go back into the mine until he could come up with a plan."
"Did he perhaps ask for a plan? Or indeed any suggestion?"
Hazō paused, thinking. "You know I'm trying to be positive here, right? On the Human Path it's a sign of loyalty and politeness for a battle companion to emphasize the positive so long as it doesn't mean distorting the facts."
"Oh, dear. Is my requirement for completeness and honesty making it difficult for you to portray the headstrong and snotty young pup in a positive light?" Fortunately, the tongue was visible again.
Hazō laughed. "Well, it would be convenient if you were a little slower with the incisive questions. At least let me frame the narrative first."
"Hm. I shall keep it in mind. Moving on. You have lived up to your promises by giving us saddlebags—although I still have no idea what a saddle is—and what at least seems to be a useful sled design. You may even have managed to put a tiny little dent in Candoru's remarkably thick skull before I or one of the other adults gave in to our desire to drown him. I suspect you now have a request?"
Hazō chuckled. "Well, it would be nice to get some additional contracts. Do you have anyone to recommend?"
"Hm. I would like you to continue working with Candoru until he finally acquires a bit of basic awareness of reality. He is young but a relatively effective combat summon. If you require more combat power, I'm sure there are dogs who would be interested in exploring another world. Beyond that, what are your needs?"
Hazō reached into his pouch and pulled out a piece of paper. "As it happens, I have a list."
"Despite the brevity of our acquaintance, I find myself remarkably unsurprised."
What is on Hazō's list? Please format your votes with the (Doggo) tag as:
[x] (Doggo) A nose-booping juggler
[x] (Doggo) A dog walker
[x] (Doggo) A dog runner
Cannai will consider the top 3 entries.
o-o-o-o
The bell jingled as Kagome-sensei pushed the door open. As though summoned from the depths, Gramps Tanaka (as the ancient proprietor of Tanaka's Chocolates insisted on being called) appeared from below the counter, his round face beaming.
"Welcome, M'Lords! How may I he—"
"Chocolate!" Kagome-sensei demanded, waving his arms in excitement. "All of it!"
"Not all of it, sensei," Hazō said quickly. He turned back to Tanaka. "I'll take a double-size hot chocolate with ginger and orange, plus two dozen of those chocolate-dipped varied fruits."
Kagome-sense grumbled. "Fine. I suppose I'll have the same. But make mine a triple! And put some of that whipped cream on it. Oh, and the ground cinnamon on the cream. And maybe a splash of the cherry-infused sugar syrup. And some hickory essence."
"Coming right up, M'Lords." Tanaka turned and started bustling around behind the counter, pulling the coated fruits out of the freezer. "By the way, Your Lordships, I can't get over how helpful that food storage service of yours is—the one with the storage seals? Three months ago the price of cream plummeted for a few days and I bought up twenty gallons of it. I'm still working off that same supply and it's as fresh as the day I bought it."
"You mentioned that last time we were here, Tanaka," Hazō said with a smile. "It's still good to hear."
"Did I? Well, I'm getting on. I'm thinking about retiring, you know. Maybe at the turn of summer. Leave the business to my boy."
"You said that last time as well." Hazō couldn't keep from chuckling now.
"Did I? See, I definitely need to retire!"
"You can't!" Kagome-sensei said, sounding so horrified that Tanaka paused to look up.
"You can't retire!" Kagome-sensei said, repeating himself with an absolutely stricken expression. "No one else gets the cherry-infused syrup in the right proportions to the hickory essence."
"Well, it certainly won't be for a bit yet, M'Lord. And it's really just a thought. We'll see. If I may say, you both seem very happy." He slid the neatly-arranged bowl of chocolate-coated fruit over to both Lords and went back to making the hot chocolates.
"You absolutely may say that," Hazō said, grinning. "I just now finished a research project that I've been thinking about forever. A seal research project."
"And he didn't even tear the world open even once!"
Tanaka's smile slipped a little bit. "That's good," he managed. "May I ask what the new seal does?"
Hazō shrugged and mimed buttoning his lips closed. "Classified," he said apologetically. Out of long experience he grabbed Kagome-sensei's arm before his mentor could say anything like 'and it absolutely is not a seal that lets you detect chakra being used, because that would be incredibly useful but it totally is not what we invented.'
It was always comforting, Hazō told himself, to know that he would never be the worst secret-keeper in the family.
Tanaka's smiled as he handed the two mugs of hot chocolate across the counter. "Well, I'm sure it's something wonderful that will save lots of lives. Thank you for your service."
Hazō took the hot chocolate and sipped a tiny bit, allowing the delicate ambrosia to roll softly over his palette. "Mmmmm. Thank you for your service, Gramps."
XP AWARD: 45 This update covered 9 days.
Brevity XP: 1
"GM had fun" XP: 1
+1 for scene: Talking with Cannai
There will be no voting. @Velorien already has a plan for Thursday.
The party was finally over. Noburi, all danced out, stood by the central table laden with gifts, and thanked each of the guests profusely as they left.
With a few exceptions, the rest of the gifts had been less memorable. Tenten's had been an allegedly indestructible emergency flask, made of metal and structurally reinforced in ways she tried and failed to explain. Akane had offered the latest sourcebook from the creators of The Witch King's Chains, a typically Akane response after Noburi had complained—on a single occasion—that his summoning training was leaving him with no time to design a new campaign (now that the usual roleplayers from the Gōketsu gaming nights had exhausted the pre-made material). Kadokura had given Noburi a gorgeous blue scarf, while Chōji had brought one of his favourite cookbooks.
Some stood out a little more. Kagome-sensei's gift was The Master's Guide to the Bedroom Arts, an educational work of Jiraiya's which had been informally banned after Leaf General Hospital was flooded with sufferers of dislocated joints shortly after publication. Mari had been rolling on the floor with laughter, as it had turned out to be her fault for making a throwaway joke that Kagome-sensei had taken seriously. It remained unclear whether Kagome-sensei had really thought he was getting Noburi a guide on home decoration (and Auntie, his secret weapon when it came to acquiring obscure literature, had chosen not to enlighten him), or whether he'd overcome mortal embarrassment in order to acquire a gift Mari had insisted would change Noburi's life. Noburi had been gloriously mortified, while Yuno had completely failed to react.
Ino had presented Noburi with a comma-shaped magatama earring the exact shade of Yamanaka eyes. According to her, this was a charm given by the Yamanaka to friends and lovers scheduled to travel to "spiritual danger zones", and would protect the wearer against possession by kami and evil spirits (though it would do nothing against the Yamanaka themselves, whose powers had been handed down by the Sage of Six Paths, and were thus spiritually pure).
Hyūga had given Noburi On Purity, a collection of essays on morality and ethics penned by Hyūga Hiashi, "on the off-chance that it is not too late for you". A brief skim revealed a peculiar mixture of vitriolic bigotry, holier-than-thou moralising, and thoughtful meditation on the struggle between base drives and enlightened motivations inherent to the human condition.
Noburi's miscellaneous male friends had given him a variety of presents, from liquor which Mari confiscated as too strong for a still-developing organism ("I remember what this stuff did to me when I was your age") to a beautifully-drawn fashion folio that also happened to function as an advertising brochure for the boy's father's store, to a spy dissection kit bought from T&I as a collective gift ("we asked around for what you like, and your sister said you missed your medical training with Yakushi-sensei, and your other sister told us about these catalogues you can get from the main office…").
Yuno had chosen to go last, and her present was a simple green blindfold.
"When Isan was being founded," she'd begun, "Akio chose Kanda Yukari, the great storyteller, from among his companions to record the story of Ui Isas and his successors. Kanda was unclean,"—thanks to Mari's training, Hazō caught a very brief eye flicker in Keiko's direction—"so she never had any heirs, and the role of lorekeeper ended up going to the Inoue. Still, when people tell stories, they always start with, 'With Kanda's blessing on my lips'."
She'd taken a few steps towards Noburi, blindfold held in front of her with both hands, Satsuko left to stand against the wall.
"The people of Isan don't really celebrate birthdays the way you do. But we do celebrate coming of age, even if it would be weird to do it at fifteen. When an Isanite comes of age, usually we ask for the blessing of our ancestor among Akio's companions. If we're allowed. But every now and again, someone outside the Inoue asks for Kanda's blessing to be a storyteller. It's a very honourable role, but it's also one of the most demanding, and if you don't follow the proper forms when you tell your stories, you'll get cursed and shrivel up and die."
She took another step forward.
"Noburi, when you talk, the world grows a little warmer, and I can almost see colours. When I see through your eyes, everything is close enough to touch. When you tell stories, I can be someone else, somewhere else, even if it's only for a little while. You can hunt, and you can make, but you are not a hunter or a maker. When you shape words, they can become something holy—a power that connects, a salve that takes away pain, a bridge across the ravine that separates us from the worlds that could be."
Another step, and now she was within arm's reach.
"Properly speaking, it's not my place to do this. I don't even know the ritual, since I never got one. But the people who are supposed to do this turned their backs on Akio's teachings long ago, and I hope they spend eternity being torn to pieces on the Naraka Path, then being sewn back together just long enough to make them hope that this the last time before they get reincarnated somewhere better, then being torn to pieces again, over and over, so I think it's OK for me to take their place.
"Gōketsu Noburi, this blindfold is the gift of Kanda Yukari, who was blinded in Akio's defence, and who learned to see worlds free from the taint of our own. Please accept it. I think it's the right way to thank you for who you are, and the right way to end this."
She slipped the blindfold around a stunned Noburi's head, then stepped away, both awkward and proud.
Hazō agreed with her entirely. He was very, very glad he hadn't decided to stretch out the joke by not giving Noburi the coat until the end.
-o-
Now, it was truly over. The Naked Jaybird was far behind, the guests had headed home (or, in Keiko's case, to the Nara compound, which might have been as much her home as the Gōketsu estate, but never more). As Kagome-sensei let Mari know exactly how likely he was to take her advice ever again, and Akane had yet to return from walking Ino back, Hazō took the opportunity to catch up with his still-elated brother.
"Enjoy the party?" he asked.
"Hell yeah!" Noburi grinned. "I mean, it could have done with more girls, but that goes for most things. I figure I'll get them to make it up to me next year. Hey, thanks for all your work organising it. The musicians were a great touch. I love our usual birthday get-togethers, but there's really something about being able to just cut loose on the dance floor. Also, Yuno trying to teach Hyūga traditional Isan dance? You could all have given me Pandā-brand military memorabilia for gifts, and I'd still be satisfied with how that party went."
"No problem," Hazō said. "Least I could do. Seriously, Noburi, it means a lot to me to know that you always have my back. It's good to get the chance to show my appreciation every once in a while."
"Celebrate my birthday more often," Noburi said. "Got it. What was with the coat, though? Don't get me wrong, I love it, but getting it off your shoulder like that? The symbolism's a little icky."
"Uh… I thought it would be funny at the time?"
Noburi shook his head. "There's the Hazō we all know and love. Great planner, passable organiser, never quite as smart as he thinks he is. But luckily, I'm the Captain Zabuza of putting up with annoying siblings. I'm over it. And it really is a great coat. No way does anyone in Leaf have one of these babies."
No, he really wasn't. Noburi could never be Captain Zabuza, who still occasionally turned up in Hazō's dreams, as if one evening's humiliation was to be repaid with a lifetime of the hunter-nin's cold, dead hand squeezing Hazō's heart until he woke up drenched in sweat. No, if Captain Zabuza ever found himself stuck with an annoying little sister, he'd probably murder her without a second thought.
"Anyway," Hazō said urgently, "how about… you and Yuno? That was quite a thing back there. I take it everything's going well?"
"Honestly," Noburi said, "no clue. I thought she was being kind of distant lately. But then she did what she did with the girls, and you heard what she said when she gave me her gift. It's mixed signal city over here."
"I'm sure you'll figure things out," Hazō said. "As long as you genuinely care about each other, it's just a matter of talking things through. Also, have you considered not inviting hordes of girls to your party when you know she's going to be there?"
Noburi shook his head. "That's crazy talk. I mean, it's not like I'm going to cheat on her. I just want to have a little fun."
Hazō sighed. "Never mind. I'm sure Satsuko will explain it all to you in due course. In the meantime, what are we going to do about adopting her? Yuno, I mean, not Satsuko. We still have an adoption slot left. Should we use it?"
Noburi rolled his eyes to the heavens in mock despair. "I swear we've been over this, Hazō. Or if not, we totally should have been. If Yuno's adopted, she stops being a Kannagi. If she stops being a Kannagi, then it's not a marriage alliance anymore. Our plan is to turn up at Kannagi's doorstep going, 'Hey, look, your granddaughter's just tied your clan to this global superpower. Say you approved the marriage all along, and suddenly you've got a massive influence boost in Isan and a powerful ally in the outside world. Say Yuno's still a missing-nin, and Leaf is still on your doorstep, only now you're irrelevant and you've insulted Isan's point of contact.' But if she gets adopted, then she's in the exact same position as us. None of us are legitimate representatives of our old clans, and the only diplomatic link we have is based on goodwill, of which there's precious little to go round."
"Ah. Right. Speaking of diplomatic links, how about the Toads? How's your relationship with them, apart from wanting to call Gamasēji a yellow-throated sprogfloinker? Which he definitely is—I'm already at risk of being cursed by the ancestors for being me and burned up by the Will of Fire for committing treason against Leaf. Alleged treason," he added in case anyone was listening. "I keep telling him I don't need a third religion to worry about."
"You always take that stuff too seriously," Noburi said. "Just accept that when we die, there's going to be a battle for our souls that'll make Nagi Island look like a playground spat. It'll be great. We can bring honeyed nuts, and place bets.
"Anyway, that asshole aside—do Toads have assholes? If they do, I'm sure it'll be in Keiko's report—it's not too bad. The boss is still making noises about having me replaced with a 'proper' jōnin if I don't shape up, but at this point I think that's more of a way to keep me in line than a real decision that he's still thinking about. On the other hand, contracts are very much a work in progress. The Toads don't have a rigid command structure like the Pangolins, so I'm not going to be assigned my own unit just by making friends with the right high-ups. I mean, if I ask for help, I'll get something, but I'll also be the summoner who couldn't handle his own recruitment. Considering whose shoes I have to fill, that's not an option."
Hazō nodded. "If there's one thing I can blame Jiraiya for, it's the act he left us to follow. Every time I have to make a big decision, I end up wondering what he'd have done, with his decades of experience, and his world-shaking power, and that blazing charisma he could turn on and off like a seal with an Urahara conditional."
"Yeah," Noburi said. "Sometimes I get envious of you for being clan head, but then I remember what you have to live up to, and I'm very glad that I'm just Leaf's rising star of ninjutsu, Tsunade's future rival, and the man who will get all the girls and make Haraguro the Harem Lord break down in tears at my feet even if I have to successfully romance Satsuko first."
"Rising star of ninjutsu?" Hazō asked. "Does that mean the Akimichi techniques are paying off?"
Noburi grimaced. "Not yet. I asked Chōji, and he wasn't optimistic. The Akimichi train those for years before they get any real payoff. I'm hoping we can do better—it'll really suck if I end up falling behind you guys."
"Sorry," Hazō said. "Didn't mean to bring down the mood. Do you think I'm doing it, though? Living up to expectations? I mean, I know I'm no Jiraiya, but I'm doing my best with the Gōketsu, and with making Uplift work now that we finally have the resources. I'm never sure, though—am I doing enough?"
Noburi spent a while thinking.
"I don't know," he finally said. "I can tell we're doing a lot of stuff, but I can't fit it all together in my head. We're teaching civilians, and we're doing research on flying, because I guess skywalkers aren't enough, and toilets for some reason, and we're trying to splinter the KEI, and there's the scary stuff Mari keeps going off to do… I'm not sure where half of it is supposed to go. Till'n'fills made sense to me in a way a lot of what we're doing now doesn't. I'm sure you have some grand vision in your head where all these pieces fit together, but you haven't exactly shared it with us.
"If there's one place we're dropping the ball, I think it's medicine. Civilians are dying in droves out there, and Tsunade and her people are just too swamped. Did Akane tell you? Apparently, during the election Ami bribed her with free access to the Water Country in exchange for helping set up the KEI. Only that hasn't happened because Tsunade can't go far from Leaf in case there's an attack, and there aren't enough medic-nin to send out either. Which figures. It's a rough job, you have to train longer and harder than everyone else, you get way less downtime, and you're more vulnerable in the field because you have less combat training and everyone knows to go for the medic first. And of course, Leaf lost a whole lot of medic-nin because anti-clanless discrimination meant a lot of them were from clans that went down in the Great Collapse. Right now, anyone who tries to turn away a candidate gets to deal with the KEI and Tsunade, and they'd better pray it's in that order, but we're still going to take years to train up the next generation. And that sucks, because half the stuff civilians die from could be fixed with the most basic medical ninjutsu, if we only had the numbers. I could banish common rot spirits just with the stuff I learned from Hashimoto back in the day."
"I'll give it some thought," Hazō said. "Can't let a corner of the world get away unrevolutionised. Thanks for catching that, Noburi. This is what I'm talking about—you're the brother I know I can count on."
He offered Noburi a fist.
"Don't get all sappy on me now," Noburi said. "Actually, no, it's my birthday. Get as sappy as you like if it means telling me how great I am. And hey, as brothers go, I could do a lot worse myself."
They shared a slow, satisfied fist bump.
"By the way," Hazō said as they walked on towards the compound, storage scrolls heavy with a bewildering variety of gifts from family, friends, strangers, and even enemies, "I have good news. So I talked to Akane…"
It was late at night by the time Noburi had finished admiring and stowing away his presents (and if he'd spent a decent chunk of that time in front of the mirror, experimenting with the coat, the pendant, and the scarf in combination with the rest of his wardrobe, that was nothing more than respecting the givers' feelings), but there was one more thing to do before he could feel the day was done. He needed to ask Yuno about that blindfold. Isan's customs were complex and many-layered, and he wasn't clear on whether the strip of cloth was something you hung on a wall as a treasured possession, took with you to formal storytelling events (did Leaf have anything like that? He'd have to check it out), or wore whenever you were telling a story, on pain of invoking Kanda Yukari's curse. Not that he expected Kanda's ghost to care much about some random foreigner wearing a blindfold not made in Isan and not bestowed in an Isan ritual, but Yuno might, and Noburi would concede a point to Hyūga before he let himself insult the spirit of her gift. It was no longer an hour for visiting people—Hazō would already be fast asleep, Kagome would have his private security measures up and ready to incinerate, and Keiko's room, while currently unused, still had a copy of the List stuck next to the door as a reminder—but Yuno was a poor sleeper, for reasons that didn't take a Yamanaka to guess at, so there was every chance she was still awake, and would be grateful for a distraction.
And awake she was. Awake, fully-dressed, and in the process of writing a letter, as best he could guess from the glimpse of the desk behind her.
"Noburi?!" Yuno exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to ask you about your present," Noburi said. "Can I come in?"
Yuno stepped back to let him in, and that was when Noburi began to get a sense that something was off.
"This seems like a strange time to go on a journey," he said carefully. "Did I miss something?"
The enormous, heavy-duty rucksack was Yuno's favourite, and she never got tired of telling the story of how she'd won it gambling with a yakuza group during her wanderings across the continent (even Mari had had trouble getting the blood out of the fabric). It was also currently full to bursting, while the shelves of her room stood bare.
"I was in the middle of writing you a note," Yuno said. "These things are best done in writing. This is known."
"Well, I'm here now," Noburi said. "Could you please tell me what's going on?"
"Here," Yuno said. "It's probably simplest to show you these."
The first letter bore the Tower's seal. Noburi, still dazed, skimmed it quickly. "Troubling reports from Tea… condition of Leaf citizenship… ceremony by the end of the month…"
The letter sent a chill through him. This was it. A deadline. His time was running out. He'd known that he was going to marry her, once and for all, but in his mind it had been somewhere in the nebulous "future", and now that future had suddenly barged into reality, waiting for him mere weeks away. Could he really prepare himself so fast? Did he even have a choice?
Wait. Before he could start panicking about that, there was a second letter. Unlike the Hokage's, it didn't contain any ominous hints that he could spot, or imply dire consequences for refusal, but for all that, it was by far the more terrifying.
Dearest Yuno,
I enjoyed having tea with you the other day. Thank you for being patient with my cousin—Neji is a good man, but hopeless in affairs of the heart. I assure you, he feels the deepest affection for you, and just doesn't know how to express it.
Still, as one woman to another, I'm sure you must be frustrated with his uncertainty and indecisiveness. That's why I've decided to honour my duty as his clan head and lend him the strength of my resolve. I have given him the order to marry you. Neji may not understand a woman's heart, but he is both loyal and dutiful. I know that once you two are married, he will strive his hardest to make you happy.
If you are prepared to accept his feelings, then please come to the Hyūga compound whenever you're ready. We have already prepared a room for you, and our astrologer is busy calculating the most auspicious days for the wedding.
I can't wait to welcome you into our family.
With heartfelt fondness,
Hyūga Hinata
Noburi had been stupid to dismiss Hyūga just because his would-be rival was unsightly, impenetrably dense, possessed of the seduction talents of a dead fish, and virulently xenophobic. This had always been about more than him and Yuno. This was about politics, and politics was a game between clans. He'd forgotten, somehow, that the entire plan of Yuno marrying into Leaf had been concocted by Hyūga Hiashi, and that it hadn't even been intended to be a competition until Yuno's unresolved feelings had entered the picture.
"When?" he asked.
"They came while you were away at the mine," Yuno said. "Really, I should have gone then, but… I guess Neji wasn't the only one who needed more resolve."
"Y-You're serious," Noburi said. "You're choosing to marry Hyūga instead of me. Yuno, why? What can he possibly have that I don't?"
"He wants to marry me," Yuno said simply. "Or at least, he will marry me, and then I can make sure it's what he wants. Satsuko has all kinds of ideas for how."
"Yuno, I want to marry you!" Noburi exclaimed. "By myself, without my clan head having to bully me into it!"
Yuno gave a small, sad smile. "No, Noburi, you don't. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to understand."
"What? Why would you ever say that?"
"Noburi," Yuno said, "I've been here for half a year. You could have taken me to the Betrothal Stone at any time. Instead, you just kept… having fun. It's been nice, but I've spent too long waiting. It seems like the Hokage agrees."
"B-But Yuno," Noburi sputtered, "you must know Leaf doesn't have a Betrothal Stone. That's an Isan custom!"
Yuno slowly sat down on the bed. "I'm not stupid, Noburi. I know Leaf can be a very uncivilised place. But what did you do? Did you stand outside my window reciting the Seeker's Poem from memory from dusk to dawn without getting a single syllable wrong or falling asleep? Did you offer me a wreath of bloodflowers with their venom drained into a chalice? Did you sneak into the Occult Chamber and leave a sacrifice for me on the forbidden altar?"
Noburi stared at her. "Yuno, how am I supposed to do any of those things? I never learned the Seeker's Poem, I don't think bloodflowers grow near Leaf, and I've never even heard of the one with the Occult Chamber."
"So what did you do?" Yuno asked. "Leaf must have its own barbaric customs. You could even have followed one of Mist's barbaric customs instead—it's not as if that makes a difference to me."
Noburi wasn't actually sure what Mist's barbaric customs were. The older generation probably did, but for as long as Noburi had been alive, and as far as he knew, the "proper" way to get married was to submit a joint application to the Mizukage's Office and have it approved. The Mizukage had disdained superstition, and had not acknowledged the kami, the ancestors, or fate itself to have authority above that of his bureaucracy.
Leaf's barbaric customs weren't clear to him either, now he thought about it. Both Mari and Keiko's marriages had been ordered by a higher authority (the Hokage and the clan head respectively). None of the parties involved had ever needed to do anything to make sure they got married, other than turn up on the day. Beyond that, Noburi had never really been interested.
But before any of that…
"First of all," he demanded, "why would you expect me to do any of that stuff? This whole setup was about you choosing who you wanted for your husband. You already knew I wanted to marry you."
A wry, subtly pained expression crossed her face. "Why are there marriage customs at all? Asking someone in front of the Betrothal Stone means publicly appealing to the ancestors for their blessing, knowing they might curse you if your heart isn't pure, or you're aiming too far above your station, or you secretly love another. Reciting the Seeker's Poem proves you're ready and able to push yourself to the limit for your loved one's affection. Gathering bloodflowers in bloom means you're willing to risk both your life and your sanity to prove yourself. Every custom is a way to tell the other person who you are, and who you think they are, how much you care about marrying them, and how much you care about doing it right. For yourself, for your village, and for your children, so that you can be a good parent and your children won't end up unclean.
"Do you remember when you asked me if I was single in front of the Betrothal Stone? My heart sang, because finally, finally, everything was going to be right. Then you and Grandfather reminded me who and where I was. I wasn't born to be happy, or to make others happy. I don't know why I was.
"Lady Hinata's offer is 'right'. It's not romantic, and it's not what I dreamed of, but the head of a clan speaks with the voice of the founders. That's a custom every ninja everywhere has to believe in."
Noburi stared at her, aghast. "Do you even want to marry him?"
"It was always going to be someone like him," Yuno said. "I mean, not that I expected to marry anyone at all, never mind a Summoner, but he's a good match for me. His hatred just needs honing into something sharper. It's not enough to be angry at the world—that just means you're not lying to yourself about what you see. You have to hate, and that hatred has to be focused if it's going to give you the strength to live. Otherwise, it just leaks away through the cracks and leaves you empty. I can teach him. I think it'll feel good to have something to give for once."
She looked down at Satsuko. Her gaze lingered, and Noburi could have sworn that for a tiny fraction of a second it did so without its usual warm affection. She looked up again.
"I don't think he'll let me see colours… but I guess that's fine. It's not like I miss them that much anyway."
The sense of wrongness was all-pervading. It was like smoke suffusing the room, wispy and grey, but ever ready to turn deeper and darker.
Noburi couldn't let this happen. It was a matter of instinct, beyond any attempt to judge whether she was right or wrong. Yuno would not be happy with Hyūga. Or worse, she would be, because facing the light hurt when your eyes were used to the dark, and with him, she could make her peace with turning her back and walking deeper into the darkness.
Screw custom. If the "right" thing to do for Yuno was to keep going on the path she'd been following all her life, then he would make sure she did the wrong thing, and keep doing it until that became right. If there was one thing Hazō had taught him, it was that nothing was set in stone. Hazō had shown him that if you fought hard enough, the common sense of the shinobi world could be overturned. The place where you made your stand would be home to a new common sense of its own, and what was once impossible would become the new default.
But the price would be Noburi marrying Yuno. It felt like the end. Noburi had never even had a girlfriend—Yuno herself had been the closest, in a relationship that had been a lie from day one. There were countless experiences he had never had and would never have. Countless people—countless kinds of people—he'd never get to try dating. Forget the harem; with Yuno, he wasn't even sure he'd be allowed to have female friends. What else would change? What else would he no longer get a say in after the ceremony? What would he do when things went wrong and there was no longer anywhere to run?
He hadn't thought about it before. He hadn't wanted to. It seemed like everything was working out, and it seemed like it would carry on forever. He'd known that there was a deadline looming on the horizon, and a choice to be made, but he'd done everything he could not to make it. Other people's lives were his business, and his own was doing perfectly fine on autopilot.
The choice was here now, and it paralysed him. He could say nothing. He could do nothing, and then Yuno would become a Hyūga, and maybe that would be good enough. Things would stay the same. He would continue having a life. Who could blame him?
And the idea of marrying someone so he could save them? It was crazy talk to begin with. He was just Gōketsu Noburi. What did he know about the depths of the human heart? When she talked about seeing colours, how could someone like him even know what that meant, much less how to give them back to her after a lifetime of abuse had taken them away? The idea that he could fix anything just by being the one to marry her was so arrogant it was a miracle the granite floor wasn't collapsing under the weight of his ego.
Yuno stood up to throw away the farewell letter she no longer needed. There was a weariness to her motions.
Noburi could have said goodbye then, once and for all, but he was missing something.
Noburi had a very sharp sense for when people were missing something (he wondered if it was in the bloodline of the resupply clan). Sometimes it was a well-chosen compliment. Sometimes it was a mediator for people talking past each other, or a forgotten umbrella, or a joke to lighten the mood. Often it was a mug of hot chocolate.
What was it that Noburi was missing right now?
He studied Yuno as she turned to face him, drinking in every detail as though it was his last chance, because maybe it was. Her long, smooth pink hair, with its two adorable hair ties (she'd changed the straight ribbons out for criss-crossing ones after a few months in Leaf, and he and Akane were the only ones who'd noticed). Her skin, naturally pale but with an eternal slight tan from all the outdoor training. Her muscles, strong and supple, clearly defined without bulging out. Her breasts, offering tantalising hints of grandeur beyond what her usual outfits outlined (though he knew full well what would happen if he ever tried to put himself in a position to find out). Her waist, inexplicably slim given her healthy appetite. Satsuko, as much a part of her as any other, gleaming with a sinister light as if to say, "You know there is only one way things can end between us". And finally, Yuno's eyes, bottomless pools that held everything from gentle pink affection to the passionate red of endlessly-pouring blood.
Noburi was officially the dumbest man alive. He made Hyūga look like a radiant pillar of intellect. He'd got the damaged half of the brain the ancestors split between him and Yasuji. He was the anti-Keiko.
Forget what he stood to lose by marrying her. Forget whether he could save her. The most important question, the question he should have asked first, was how Gōketsu Noburi felt about Gasai Yuno.
"Stay here," he told her urgently. "Don't move a muscle. Pretend all the asuras in the world are lurking on the other side of this door, waiting for you to make a move. I'll be back in one minute."
Ten minutes later, he stood before a puzzled-looking Yuno, box in hand.
"Yuno," he began, "maybe it's too late for me to say this—actually, scratch that, it's way too late for me to say this—but I'm going to say it anyway, because it's the truth, and I won't forgive myself if I don't make sure you hear it.
"You're more than I thought one person could be. You were born beautiful, but then you add your own effort on top, and suddenly your looks become hypnotic. I could just sit and watch you for hours if you'd let me.
"You're loving and warm, even after everything that's happened to you. I could be a blind man, and I'd still be drawn to you for the way you try to make people happy without asking whether they deserve it.
"You're strong, impossibly strong. You lived in an abyss where the pressure crushes everything, and you came out of it not just uncrushed but by far one of the strongest people I know. I'd call you a role model for facing adversity if I thought I could ever survive what you did.
"You're strong in the other sense too. You have a perfect killer instinct, you treat fear as a friend, and every time I see you, your axe swings are just that little bit more powerful and precise and terrifying. One day you're going to be a monster, and on that day I'll be even gladder than today that you're a master of keeping monsters under control.
"You feel things deeply. So many ninja let themselves become callous to take away the pain, but you've kept your heart open against all the odds. You told me you don't miss colours, but that's a lie. It hurts you to know that the colours are there when you can't see them, but you still choose to live in a world where they're real, and that may be the most beautiful thing of all about you.
"You said that the point of a marriage custom is to tell you who I am, and who I think you are, and how much I care about marrying you, and how much I care about doing it right. Then this is my marriage custom, unique to Gōketsu Noburi, to be used once and once only."
He stretched out his hands, resting the slim wooden box on his upturned palms.
"My first teacher gave this to me, at the beginning of the path I chose for myself. I want to walk the rest of that path together with you. Gasai Yuno, this is the key to my heart. Please accept it."
Silently, Yuno opened the box. Inside lay Hashimoto-sensei's scalpel, polished with a gleam as bright as Satsuko's was dark.
"You were right," she whispered after a second. "I had missed them."
With the utmost care, she put the box on the desk behind her.
Then, she finally embraced barbarian rules of courtship and hugged him so hard it hurt.
-o-
Gasai Yuno
Looks: *****
Pros: Beautiful, caring, sensitive, enduring, older girl
Cons: Wrong village, occasionally scary, already broke her heart
-o-
There was a note with Hinata's letter to Yuno. Hinata gives you advance warning that the Hagoromo have stated they will not be conducting any weddings for the Gōketsu Clan until you offer a formal apology for making them bless Keiko's marriage "in violation of their faith". She adds that, per tradition, all Leaf weddings are conducted by Hagoromo priests, or priests directly affiliated with them.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting closes on Saturday 19th of September, 9 a.m. New York time.
Hazō sighed, long and gustily, as he dropped into his chair and let his head fall forward onto his folded arms atop the desk.
"How are you always here first?" he mumbled. "And why are you always so darn chipper?"
"Respectively, M'Lord: Determination and clean living. Tea?"
Hazō hand groped out from under his head. "Thanks." He pushed himself upright and slugged back the tea. It was smoky and deliberately overbrewed in order to kick him awake, but it didn't even touch the level of tired that was dragging at him. The dreams had woken him every twenty minutes through the night. Dreams of drowning faces and whirling red eyes. Of grey dragons and blue-skinned swordsmen that he'd never seen. Of white hair and laughter at the center of massive explosions.
"Okay," he said, focusing on getting himself back to alertness. "A few updates for you: As per Keiko's request from a week or three ago, I've been spreading the word suggesting that people order lots of Hagoromo cloth. I don't know what she has planned but I'm sure it will be awful for them. She wants me to kick it up a notch because it sounds like it's coming to a head this week. Get me meetings with some wealthy civilians; I don't particularly care who. Figure out a pretext and brief me on what I should be talking about."
"Yes, M'Lord."
"Speaking of the Hagoromo, I want to know everything about them. Hinata told me that they are pissed about 'being tricked' into officiating at Keiko's wedding and now they've said that they aren't going to perform weddings for any Gōketsu until I publicly grovel to them."
Gaku's eyes went wide. "M'Lord? May I ask what you're planning?"
"I am going to burn them to the ground."
"Ah."
"Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to physically hurt them." Gaku sighed in relief. "Probably. On the other hand, the earth and sky will change places before I will apologize for my sister. I want to know every source of their income and then we're going to destroy it. I want to know if they have any outstanding debts around town—whores, trade goods, even groceries. Whatever it is, find it and buy it. Figure out who their suppliers are, and their competitors, and their enemies. Find every dirty whisper and salacious story. I want to know everything that can possibly hurt them."
"...Yes, M'Lord. May I coordinate with Lady Gōketsu?"
"You know she said you can call her Mari, right?"
"Yes, M'Lord."
"And I said that you can call me Hazō?"
"Yes, M'Lord."
Hazō sighed and sipped his tea. "Fine. Yes, definitely work with Mari. Talk to Ino about what next season's fashion is likely to be. See if she, the KEI, and any of our various summon clans would like to order in bulk from the Hagoromo."
"M'Lord...may I ask a question?"
"Always."
"You said you wish to destroy them, but you're ordering a lot of their cloth and telling others to do so. This could be seen by the public—not by anyone on the estate, of course, but the general public—as appeasement."
Hazō stretched and covered a yawn. "Eh. I have no idea what Keiko's doing but when she asks for something I've never yet been disappointed by giving it to her."
"Yes, M'Lord."
"Also, start planning Noburi and Yuno's wedding. Date, time, invitations, decorations, seating chart, venue, the whole nine. Work with Mari and Yuno. We want to respect all the Isan customs—seating, apparel, invitations, whatever else. They're pretty wacky, so don't be surprised."
"Yes, M'Lord."
"Next item: I want to have a party to celebrate the wedding in advance of the wedding. Invite all the usual suspects, plus Ami, Sasuke, Naruto, and anyone that Noburi or Yuno want. Again, respect Isan traditions about all the crazy stuff. I want it to be a surprise for her so make sure you get the briefing under cover of it being about the wedding."
"Yes, M'Lord."
"Remind me to make sure that Ami and Yuno meet."
Gaku shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, M'Lord."
"Problem?"
"No, M'Lord. No problem."
Hazō sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Gaku, I want you to be an advisor, not just a stenographer and external memory. What's the problem?"
"Ms Ami and Ms Gasai seem like...unusual people," the civilian said carefully. "Have you considered what the outcome might be of those two becoming friends?"
Hazō shrugged and covered a yawn. "They're going to meet sooner or later. Better if it's under controlled conditions."
"Fair point, sir."
"Great. So, what fun and exciting things do you have for me today?"
"This is the food usage reports from the commissary, M'Lord. You'll note that...."
o-o-o-o
"Good morning," Hazō said, bowing.
Canun was one of the smaller members of the Dog Clan. Small enough to put in a hat, in fact. He was covered in something that was less 'fur' and more 'long, grey, strings'. Truth be told, he looked like a mop and when he stood still it was hard to tell which end was which. Despite his unimpressive size he was renowned as an excellent zither player and ninjutsu user.
"So, you're the new Summoner?" The near end of the mop tilted slightly. "I thought you'd be taller."
"I'm young still."
"Hm. How young?"
"Fifteen on the Human Path, although I'm not clear how that maps to time here on the Seventh."
"Hm. And you wanted to contract me?"
"I did."
"Why?"
"I'm a ninja, and my life is often...challenging. The Dogs are strong and I would value your help. Also, I've been told that you possess two elements that humans don't have?"
Canun snorted. "Me? I'm barely getting started! You should have seen my teacher, now there was a dog. She could do things with—hang on, two elements you don't know? I've only got Metal and Plant. You're saying you have neither of those?"
"I know the Earth Element. Others in my family know Air, Water, Fire, and Lightning. So far as I know, there are no humans with the Metal or Plant Element."
"Hm." The dog considered that for a moment. "You humans are really backwards, aren't you?"
Hazō couldn't help but smile at that. "We have our own arts. Still, your skills would be incredibly valuable on our Path. Would you consider becoming my summon?"
"Hm." Canun lay down and rolled on his back, staring at the sky. "Hm."
Hazō waited patiently.
"Tell you what," Canun said, rolling back to his feet. "Find me a human instructor for the Earth and Wind elements and I'll contract with you for a year. You'll need to summon me often so that I can have lessons."
Hazō grinned; that had been easier than expected. "Done! I know just the person."
"Mind you, make sure she's respectful. I'm not going to be insulted by some hairless biped simply because I didn't start with her preferred element."
The grin disappeared. "Um...the person I was thinking of is a man. Most of our teachers are men, actually."
The mop of hair made it impossible to read Canun's expressions, which was probably a good thing.
"Your ninjutsu instructors...are men?" Canun thought about that. "Wow. You humans really are backwards. Well, whatever. Get me three lessons a week with a good, respectful teacher and I'm your guy."
"Thank you!"
o-o-o-o
"I think you'll like Canvass," Cannai rumbled. He and Hazō were sitting at what appeared to be an arbitrary spot in the middle of the prairie, considering the world as it drifted by. "She's an excellent tracker and quite professional."
"I look forward to it, sir," Hazō said. "What about...I'm sorry, I've lost her name."
"The scout?" Cannai said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Cannon. Oh, she's quite a treat. A little clumsy at times, although she manages. Quite short. A lovely coat aside from the mange. Personality-wise, she's a bit cold. Very stand-offish. You'll definitely need to work for that contract."
There was a snort from Hazō's right. He leaped to his feet and Substituted with the boulder he'd carefully left a short distance away. He came out of the Substitution and whipped around, his hands sliding automatically into his pangolin claws.
"A bit twitchy, aren't you?" asked the greyhound who had apparently been lying in the grass a few inches from him. The long-legged greyhound with the smooth and healthy coat. She was on her side, tongue lolling out in amusement. She stretched, then rolled on her back and wriggled to make the ground more comfy.
Hazō walked slowly back, absently putting the claws back on his belt. "I'm Hazō," he said as he approached.
There was a blur of movement and suddenly Hazō was on his back, Cannon standing on his chest so that she could ensure that her licking covered his face in a nice even layer of dog spit.
"Hi!" she said, jumping back and bouncing a little bit in excitement. "I'm Cannon!"
"Gack!" Hazō wiped his face on his elbow and sat up so that he would brush off his clothes. "It's...a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
There was a low, nearly subsonic rumbling. Hazō glanced over to find that Cannai was laughing quietly.
"'Stand-offish'?" Hazō asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Did I say stand-offish? You must have misheard me." His tongue lolled out in full doggy laughter.
"You said I had mange!" Cannon said, bouncing angrily on her front legs. "I don't have mange, you giant fibber!"
Cannai dipped his massive head in acknowledgement. "Indeed you do not. It was a prank, Cannon."
"Oh! Okay, that's fine then." She turned to Hazō. "So, you're the new Summoner?"
"I am, yes. I was hoping you'd be willing to contract with me. I need a scout and stealth expert very badly."
"Hmph. Why would I go to your icky Human Path? I've heard the stories about how it's full of fog and constant rain and—"
"The stories are exaggerated, Cannon," Cannai said gravely. "And I thought this might be an opportunity for you as well. The teethcaps?"
"Oooooh! Right!" She rounded on Hazō and cleared her throat dramatically. "Ahe-he-hem! Hear me, O Summoner of the humans! I, Cannon, the great scout, shall agree to be your contractee for twenty—"
"'For one'," Cannai said quickly.
"—for one year so long as you perform for me this great and terrible service! Doest thou agreest?"
"The phrase is 'dost thou agree', and it's archaic," Cannai said. "Today, the humans simply say 'do you agree?'"
"'Dost thou agree'? That's stupid! I know all the old tales and it's always been 'Doest though agreest'?"
"Most of the old tales are about me, Cannon. Me, and my trips to the Human Path."
That seemed to flummox her. "Well...just because you went to the Human Path and did all those things and all the stories are about you doesn't mean you're some kind of expert on the stories!"
"Your logic has defeated me. 'Doest thou agreest' shall henceforth be considered the correct version. However, it's still archaic and no one talks like that."
She turned to Hazō with hopeful eyes.
"I'm sorry," Hazō said. "He's right. No one actually talks like that anymore."
Her ears drooped. "Awww."
"You were saying something about what it would take to get you as a contract?" Hazō asked.
"Yes! The last-but-one, or maybe but two, Summoner made some metal teeth caps for my great-grandfather. They were lost during a battle on the Human Path. Find them for me and I'll be your boon companion."
"Also archaic," Cannai rumbled.
"Awww."
"Can you tell me about these teeth caps? What did they look like and where might they be?" Hazō asked. Internally he was already wondering if he could recruit a different scout. The idea that he could find a few random pieces of metal somewhere in the world....
"Sure! Ahe-he-hem! My tale, it is of the times long gone, when the great summoner Bunbee Yako—"
"Banri Yahiko."
"Who's telling this story?!"
"Most definitely you. Please, continue."
"Right! So, he was from the Country of Burning Trees—"
"The Land of Fire."
"The Country of Burning Trees and he was the most powerful ninja of them all! He was also a smith without peer, able to fashion the tiniest toe ring and the mightiest tower of purest iron. To express his gratitude for great-grandad being willing to contract with him, he made a set of enchanted tooth caps that fit over great-granddad's teeth and gave him the power to bite through anything. They were fearsome weapons the size of mighty trees—"
"They were half an inch long in the front. The sides were serrated."
"MIGHTY TREES!"
"As you say."
"He fashioned them from the bones of a steel colossus—"
"Nope."
"—BONES OF A STEEL COLOSSUS that he defeated in single combat on the night of the full moon as a pack of stars leapt to their deaths."
"That was the fight against the ninja from Lightning."
Cannon rounded on him, head lowered and glaring.
"What?" Cannai asked, tongue lolling in amusement. "It was."
"Hmph. Anyway, Bunbee was mortally wounded in the battle and knew he would never survive to reach home, so he prayed to the god of earth and stone to cover him that he and his secrets should never be found. The god concealed Bubee beneath his mighty hand and great-grandad left the toothcaps with him as a memento of their long service together. And then he died two years later without telling anyone anything else about it except that the battle was on the shore of a mighty storm-tossed ocean where the very waters raged and tore at one another."
Hazō looked at Cannai; the massive dog shrugged.
"Do you happen to know when this was?" Hazō asked. This was not sounding promising.
"It was in The Time Before, when the earth was first blooming—"
"One hundred and four years ago as per the Human Path. Late spring."
"Thank you."
"Ooh, ooh! Spring reminds me of the time that Emmo went to the River of Flowing Silver, on the border of the Kangaroo and the Insect People!"
"Arachnids. And it was Enma. And it's a fairy tale."
"The Insect People are giant and scary, but Mighty Emmo was not afraid! He walked in majesty, his power gathered close...."
o-o-o-o
"Looking for a tracker, huh?" Canvass demanded. She was a low-slung dog with ears that drooped to the ground and jowls that made her look sad.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Canvass. Don't be giving me that 'ma'am' nonsense. I'm willing to be your tracker, but I want something first."
"Of course. What can I do for you?"
"Fix your grammar, for one thing. Learn the difference between 'may' and 'can'."
"...yes, ma'am. I mean, yes, Canvass."
"My ancestor adopted a pack and taught them the ways of a true hunter. Find their descendants and see to their welfare. Their summoner was from your Land of Fire. They would be large and brindled."
"The Inuzuka clan have partners called ninken, ninja dogs. They are intelligent, like you, although they don't speak as far as I know. Is it possible that they're the descendants you speak of?"
"Are they large and brindled?"
"The ones I've seen? No. There's a lot of them that I haven't seen, and size and coat can change over time. If you contract with me you could come check for yourself."
"I do not believe that my ancestor's pack would allow themselves to be tamed by humans. They were hunters, warriors."
"Would it hurt to check? I can look elsewhere but there are a lot of wolves and feral dogs in Fire," Hazō said. "That description is vague at best."
"I will permit you to summon me once that I may examine whatever candidates you have found. I have no wish to be going to and fro across the Paths so be sure you are right the first time."
Hazō nodded respectfully. "Of course."
"So. Tell me why you want a tracker."
"Well, we have a lead on this Scroll...."
XP AWARD: 3
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Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, September 23, 2020, at 12pm London time.
Great thanks to @Velorien for coming up with the second and third tasks.
"…that's what it comes down to," Hazō finished. The more he dwelled on the nature of the Hagoromo situation—a pack of arrogant bigots claiming injury because a girl dared to be happy without their permission—the more his blood started to boil. He'd considered negotiation. He'd considered looking for more open-minded priests among the Hagoromo and persuading them to turn their back on their clan's fouler teachings just this once. But no. An example had to be made. Two hundred years from now, a senior sealmaster hearing an apprentice dismiss vital safety precautions would accuse them of "speaking like a Hagoromo", and the apprentice would pale and beg forgiveness for their folly.
The family, assembled in the atrium in the main building, listened attentively. None of this was news to most of them, but every shinobi who lived long enough learned to respect the tradition of the pre-battle speech. Done well, it enhanced motivation, enhanced focus, and reaffirmed team unity—the unity that had once kept Team Uplift alive and would now leave the Hagoromo destroyed.
"Our objective is to break the Hagoromo, once and for all. If any of you can't commit to that, if you want to sit this one out, now's your last chance to say so."
He waited.
"They hurt my Keiko," Mari said in the icy voice of Maris normally best left buried. "The gloves are off."
"How is this even a question?" Kagome-sensei demanded. "They hurt our family. And I still say you should let me turn their compound to dust instead of all this politicking. Send a message once and for all."
Hazō resisted the temptation to give him the go-ahead. There were reasons not to massacre an entire clan, though they got harder to remember every time Lord Hagoromo's smug face floated to the surface of his mind.
That left the two people Hazō still wasn't certain about. Really, there hadn't been any need to confirm whether Mari, Kagome-sensei, or Noburi were on board, but Yuno and Haru might not have been comfortable being singled out in front of everyone.
"Yuno?" he asked. "I know Isan is a particularly traditionalist society. How do you feel about this?"
Yuno didn't reply straight away.
"She's the Pangolin Summoner," she finally said. "She has Akio's blessing. With the rest of the village being the way it is, she might technically be the holiest person alive."
Hazō paused to take in the image of Saint Keiko. It was probably good that she wasn't here. She would never let him hear the end of it.
Still, he wasn't looking for blind faith. That was how you got people like the Hagoromo.
"I'm not looking for an Isan answer," he said. "I'm looking for yours, Yuno. What do you think of Keiko's relationship? Is it something you can fight for?"
Yuno took more time to think.
"She's the Pangolin Summoner," she said, "and that means Akio saw what was wrong with her and decided to bless her anyway. We were always taught that what she is shouldn't be allowed. It's unclean. It isn't right."
Her hand closed around Satsuko's haft.
"But what's happening out there is disgusting," she spat. "She never chose to be born this way. She never hurt anybody by having a woman lover. She even made sure to keep it behind closed doors where nobody would see. Who are they to punish her for being unclean? What gives them the right?
"Give the word," she said. "I'll go and get rid of them. Once the Hagoromo are gone, the rest should think twice about how they treat her. Or if they don't… there's plenty of room in the grooves."
Hazō continued to resist the temptation.
"I think that would be a bad idea," he said reluctantly. "Murder of Leaf citizens is a crime."
"There's always something," Yuno muttered.
"Haru," Hazō said, "what about you?"
Haru shrugged. "I figured you still didn't trust me. Honestly, after everything that's happened, I don't know how much I trust you either. And I'm not going to pretend I'm completely comfortable with all this, because I'm not.
"But," his voice grew stronger, "I made the decision to join the Gōketsu, and I do not go back on my decisions. This is my clan now. If anybody thinks of lifting a finger against my clan, they had better be prepared to lose an arm. Simple as that."
Hazō grinned. "I knew I could count on you. This was never about trust, Haru. It's just that I already knew what everyone else thought, and didn't want to assume.
"All right," he said. "Everyone's on board. The Hagoromo have hurt one of our own, and they've put their petty prejudices over the good of the entirety of Leaf. If they will not change, then we will break them until change is their only way to survive. Let's get started.
"Mari, we need their weaknesses. See if Jiraiya's notes have anything. If not, I know you can find plenty of blackmail material on your own. Do they have any relationships with the yakuza? I know we can leverage those. Also, I think it might be time for another Lizardbreath. Get what you need from Noburi, pick a target, and go. No need for confirmation—I trust your judgement."
"Hazō," Noburi said, "you do remember the risk we took last time? I'm not a drugging expert. I don't even know if Leaf has any. The wrong dose could be… dangerous."
"Yes," Hazō agreed, "it could."
He hesitated.
"Err on the side of caution. Unlike with Lizardbreath, we don't have to get it perfect first time."
"With pleasure," Mari purred.
"Next, Noburi and Akane. Yuno, I'd appreciate it if you backed them up. The Hagoromo have a monopoly on religious legitimacy, and they don't deserve it. If we're going to stop Leaf following their lead, it has to go. There are two alternative religions we have access to which we can build up: Toadism and the Church of Youth. Noburi, you'll be in charge of Toadism. Summon Gamasēji and get him converting people. I'm thinking—"
Yuno held up her hand.
"I'm sorry, but I think this is a very bad idea."
"What? Why?"
"There is nothing more important than religion," Yuno said. "These people have grown up believing that the Hagoromo have the right to speak for the Will of Fire. If some outsider—and almost everyone here is an outsider to Leaf religion—comes and tells them that their own religion is right and the one everybody trusts is wrong, they won't be happy. In Isan, summons are beings of legend that served Ui himself, but here, aren't they just giant monsters who happen to be on Leaf's side? Who would ever trust something like that over the priests who conducted your parents' funeral, and your wedding, and your marking, and your speaking ceremony, and your initiation, and your coming-of-age ceremony, and your youth trial, and your consecration, and your parents', and your grandparents', and so on all the way back to when the village was founded?
"Right now, the only thing the Hagoromo are accusing you of is lying about Keiko. People can get angry about that, but then they're just angry because you insulted someone they respect. If the Hagoromo start accusing you of trying to undermine the Will of Fire… in Isan, you would probably get executed."
Hazō frowned. "But Toadism and the Church of Youth are already here. They're not foreign elements. I just want to expand their influence to break the Hagoromo monopoly."
Yuno shook her head. "It's not a monopoly. That's merchant talk. It's the way things are. You don't shop around for religions and then get excited because there's a better looking one for sale. Anybody who does that doesn't belong in a faithful community. A decent person believes in something because it's true, or they think it's true, and they don't change their mind unless they find out they're wrong.
"To the people of Leaf, the Hagoromo doing what they do is the way things are. They don't need alternatives, because they already have what they want. They have someone who knows what the right things to do are to make the Will of Fire happy, or whatever it is you're supposed to do with it, and they can get on with their lives and leave the Hagoromo to take care of the rituals. Can they count on a giant toad to do it better? Or those people who dress like Akane?"
"Actually," Akane said with a wry smile, "I dress like them. But I think Yuno's right. If we try to challenge their legitimacy head-on, then they will use that legitimacy against us. I don't know if we can afford to escalate in that direction. If they say we're acting against the Will of Fire by getting people to use different rituals, and we say we aren't, whom are people more likely to listen to?"
"Also," Noburi added, "Toadism is dumb. I put up with it because I have to, but Gamasēji is literally going out there and telling people that giant toads are the pinnacle of existence and everyone should put everything they've got into becoming one in their next life. And you know what's worse? The only thing people know about Toads is that they were Jiraiya's summons. So they ask if Jiraiya was a Toadist, and I have to tell them he wasn't, and boom, there goes Gamasēji's remaining credibility."
"I hate to say it, but credibility isn't Rock Lee's strong point either," Akane said. "The Church of Youth's building up a good reputation among civilians, because Lee and the others do humanitarian work, and the philosophy itself is empowering, but… do I need to describe what Rock Lee's PR skills are like? Maybe if it was Hazō preaching Youth, people would listen—you were always so good at that—but I don't think Lee is going to win any converts from people who think the Hagoromo are what a priest is supposed to look like."
"Also," Noburi said, "can I just say I'm not totally comfortable with the idea of placing our bets on an organisation bankrolled by the Hyūga?"
Hazō heaved a deep sigh. "Fine, that's my best and most brilliant idea buried. Let's move on to something less controversial. Haru, I'd like you to take the lead on sabotaging Hagoromo-affiliated businesses and infrastructure. Get me a list, and make a note of their security arrangements. They're going to have an unfortunate series of accidents, and I want to know how to make them as destructive as possible."
Haru froze up.
"When you say 'affiliated businesses'… do you mean the way my and Akane's parents' workshops are affiliated businesses of the Gōketsu?"
Hazō nodded. "Haru, we're not going to be able to take down the Hagoromo without hurting their finances, and we're not going to be able to hurt their finances without inconveniencing the people who work for them. I'm sorry. I wish I knew a way to do this that only targeted the people at the top who are responsible, but I don't think there is one. For now, just get me a list. We can go through and decide how much damage we want to deal, and to whom, once you're done."
Haru's body language was tense, and he didn't look Hazō in the eye, but he didn't refuse.
"Great," Hazō said wearily. "Now, the final item on the agenda before Operation Burn the Hagoromo to the Ground begins. We need to decide what to do about the marriage. What are our options? The most reliable would be to get a Hagoromo priest to do it despite the orders. Can we bribe one? Blackmail one?"
Noburi winced. "Yuno, do you want to take this one, or shall I?"
"Oh, right," Yuno said with dawning understanding. "Most of these people didn't grow up in a clan. It's obvious if you have. They'd be going against their clan head's direct orders, and doing it in public, and turning against the clan in a matter of honour, and using the authority the clan entrusted them with to do it."
"It's a perfect storm of treachery," Noburi said. "I'm not sure there's anything worse you can actually do as a clan ninja, short of getting one of your own killed or selling clan secrets. The clan head would have to have them exiled or executed just to save face."
"Right," Hazō said. "Not realistic, then. What about alternative options? We don't have to change Leaf culture just to use a ritual for ourselves. Yuno has a legitimate claim to have her wedding carried out under Isan rituals. In fact, that might be better for the end goal of earning legitimacy with Isan. Toadism and the Church of Youth might not be popular, but they're not illegal either. Arguably, we could even use Mist rituals."
There was a chorus of "No, we couldn't."
"All right, not Mist rituals," Hazō conceded. "I'm not sure anyone here even knows what they are."
"Not well enough to do it myself," Mari said, "and I really don't think we want to try to ship in a Mist officiant to conduct a wedding between Leaf citizens in Leaf."
"I don't actually know whether Toads marry," Noburi said. "Or whether Gamasēji would be up for it. I could ask, if you really think it's a good idea."
"The Church of Youth doesn't have any formal rituals," Akane said, "but I'm sure Lee would be happy to make something up if you asked."
"Um…" Yuno started, "I know we have serious practical concerns here, but I really don't want to marry under a ritual somebody just made up.
"I've waited for this all my life," she said quietly. "I never believed it would really happen, and part of me is still waiting to wake up. I know I can't have the wedding I wanted when I was still in Isan, with the blessings of Akio and the founders, and the proper ceremony that my ancestors had passed down for hundreds of years, but still… even if it has to be a wedding under a pagan religion, I at least want it to be done right."
"Could we have more than one ceremony?" Noburi asked. "I mean, a whatever ceremony in Leaf, but then a proper one in Isan, with the geese and the clockwise dance and stuff?"
"Or we could skip the whatever ceremony altogether," Hazō said. "Mari and Jiraiya had a paperwork marriage without any rituals whatsoever because Leaf needed it. Why shouldn't the same happen now? Just file some papers here, and get the ceremony done in Isan. Everyone's happy. Except the Hagoromo, which is the point.
"…Mari? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Mari said. "It's a workable idea. In fact, strengthening an existing precedent of marriage without ritual might be a better way of breaking the Hagoromo monopoly than fighting fire with fire. The question is whether Asuma will go for it. The legitimacy of our alliance with Isan will be founded on the legitimacy of the marriage, and I'm not sure it's something he wants at all left to the interpretation."
"Great," Hazō said. "I guess that's Plan A until somebody thinks of something better. Mari, Haru, you know what to do. Everyone else… I'm suspending our religious objectives, but I still want you to talk to Gamasēji and Rock Lee. Would they officiate if we asked? How would it work? We need to know our options."
"What about you?" Noburi asked.
"I need to go see a man about a dog."
-o-
The last thing Hazō had expected on coming back from the Kei compound was hearing voices raised in passion coming from the main building, much less those voices, much less together.
"My brother told me you were a man of reason!" Keiko screeched. "This abomination is a betrayal of everything Uplift stands for! If Hazō could ever begin to imagine that you so abuse the trust he places in you—"
"Nonsense," Gaku replied, his own voice quieter but no less intense, and oddly determined for a civilian facing down an angry ninja. "Everything I have done, I have done for the Gōketsu. I admit I have stained my hands time and again, but before you declare my work unethical, you should look to your own—"
"What is going on here?" Hazō demanded before matters could escalate.
"Hazō, this man has been writing numbers in longhand!" Keiko exclaimed in the voice of a woman announcing that Gaku had been selling their sealing research to the Hyūga.
"M'lord, your relative insists, in defiance of all evidence and custom, that numbers are to be tracked in pure figures even in informal notes, notwithstanding the dangers of confusion between similar numbers, misplacement of decimal points, and many other troublesome issues which a longhand approach safely avoids," Gaku reported.
"Instead," Keiko retorted, "you would have this clan trust a system which is outdated, critically vulnerable to issues of handwriting legibility, inefficient in its use of paper, and all but proven to be more error-prone due to the interconnections between verbal and numerical thought. To think that I trusted you to protect my family in my absence."
"If you insist on citing more unpublished Nara research…" Gaku began.
"Enough," Hazō said. "Keiko, please don't antagonise my staff. Gaku… please return to your post. I don't have the energy for this right now."
"M'lord," Gaku acknowledged, backing off.
"You know not what you risk, Hazō," Keiko said. "In the days when I managed this clan's budget…"
"Yes, the halcyon days of our youth," Hazō said. "It's nice to see you too, Keiko."
"Hazō," Keiko said, "It is good to see you as well. However, I would like to apologise. The present situation, with all of its ramifications, is entirely due to my actions at the Clan Council meeting."
Hazō laughed. "You mean the fact that Hagoromo ended up being outed as a raving bigot? No, I'd call that a victory. Leaf is about to see exactly what happens to people who challenge the Gōketsu for the sake of their petty hatreds."
"Which, as it happens, is the other purpose of my visit today," Keiko said. "Given that we are now both in active opposition to the Hagoromo, it seems appropriate to coordinate. You are already aware of the Shikiri Museum exhibition. It is a pity you did not attend the opening night—I am told it was quite memorable. Lord Hagoromo demanded, furious like a hooked Hoshigaki, that all of his clan's tapestries be removed from the exhibition forthwith. Naturally, all of the items exhibited were Nara property, so this did not take place. His attempts to pressure the museum into closing the exhibition will likewise be unsuccessful. We will counter his efforts for a little time, and then rest assured the clan will have greater concerns.
"You are aware that the Hagoromo have experienced a sharp influx of orders recently? Unfortunately, it seems that their weavers' latest batch of materials is suffering from an infestation of gastronomic meltworms, a fact that will not become apparent until the finished products begin disintegrating in their new owners' hands."
The gastronomic meltworm was, in fact, indigenous to the Water Country, and more specifically to the Mist Academy of the Ninja Arts. Should an inattentive student's lunch vanish mysteriously when their back was turned, the teachers would turn a deaf ear to all complaints and blame the disappearance on another attack by the gastronomic meltworms. As far as the establishment was concerned, a student incapable of protecting something as crucial as food did not deserve to keep it.
"Of course, merely ruining the clan's reputation and stripping it of its client base is insufficient. By their own actions, they have placed themselves far beyond such half-measures. Tell me, Hazō, are you aware of the Leaf protocol for chakra parasite infestations?"
Hazō shook his head.
"Should goods coming into Leaf be found to be infested by chakra parasites, the source area must be placed in immediate quarantine. No further items from that source will be admitted into Leaf territory until the quarantine has been lifted by the senior parasitology expert. This minor disaster has taken place several times during Dr Yakushi's career, generally without long-term repercussions.
"Unfortunately," she said with a smile like a blade, "Leaf's senior parasitology expert is presently one Orochimaru."
"Who has no interest whatsoever in doing his job," Hazō concluded, "and won't think twice about killing anyone the Hagoromo send to pester him."
"Indeed. As it happens, there are a handful of individuals capable of saving the Hagoromo, should they thus find themselves stripped of their resource base. I am given to understand that a certain Gōketsu Clan is on cordial terms with Dr Yakushi, the one man Orochimaru might briefly pause his work for. Meanwhile, a certain Mori Ami is on speaking terms with Orochimaru himself. Without these individuals' favour, however… why, the quarantine could continue indefinitely."
"How terrible," Hazō agreed. "When might such an unforeseeable incident take place?"
"If Mari is willing to offer her influence with the Merchant Council, which is responsible for imposing such quarantines, an announcement could be made within days."
"I'll get her on it when she comes back," Hazō said. "I can't wait to see her face."
"Unfortunately," Keiko said, "I am given to understand that we are faced with a deadline, and there are two issues remaining where the Nara do not have a readied position of advantage. Hazō, are you aware of the Hagoromo papermaking business?"
"I am. It's a sideline left over from before the printing press." He didn't add, for the moment, that it was on Haru's list of sites to investigate.
"It will also shortly be their sole remaining source of income. I trust I do not need to spell out the implications."
"Sources of income?" Hazō said gleefully. "Can't have the Hagoromo having those. Who knows what ideas they might get."
"Quite. And once their income is gone, it is only a matter of applying suitable expenses, by which I mean cataclysmic costs to make the wealthiest of Earth Country's magnates tremble with fear. Could I prevail upon you to assist with this?"
"You know," Hazō said thoughtfully, "I have this vague memory of someone I know giving the Hagoromo large monthly payments which they're probably counting on when preparing their budget."
"How curious," Keiko said. "I have no recollection of such a person."
"No," Hazō said after a second. "Me neither."
"I trust you to apply your unparalleled gift for destruction to the problem," Keiko said. "Once they are a mere hollow shell of their former self, the Nara will be ready to guide the endgame. Tempting though it is to simply annihilate them, and weather the Hokage's wrath as an acceptable price for purging the village of vermin, happily we have been able to design an ending more useful to us and more cruel to them."
"What would be more cruel than annihilating them?" Hazō asked neutrally.
"Once it has been made clear to them that their survival rests solely on our favour, they will be invited to… recant a certain unfortunate element of their dogma. A statement that neither homosexuality nor gay marriage are at odds with the Will of Fire, made with the weight of Hagoromo authority, will grant much-needed momentum to Ino-Shika-Chō's work to normalize these in public opinion, while doubtless causing grievous pain to those who will then have to live every day with that betrayal of their principles. Of course, once that statement is made, they will also have no choice but to officiate at all such weddings should they become legal."
Hazō had a vision of Lord Hagoromo, face scrunched up like he was chewing an O'Uzu earth lemon as he juggled six gems before a pair of smiling women, doing the right thing and loathing every second of it.
"Thus perish all who insult my sister."
-o-
You have received 2 + 1 = 3 XP.
-o-
Mari has begun collecting blackmail. She hasn't found any evidence of relationships with the yakuza. Note that you instructed her to act on opportunities for blackmail, but didn't mention how (i.e. what she was supposed to blackmail her targets into doing). She succeeded in getting a worker at the Glorious Moorhen to drug the drink of Hagoromo Kyōhei, a chūnin known for drinking to relax after long sessions of studying scripture, but his hallucinations and reduced motor control merely got him mocked for low alcohol tolerance.
Toads don't get married in the same way as humans, but Gamasēji is happy to guide Yuno and Noburi through an adapted bonding ritual as soon as both of them formally convert to Toadism.
Rock Lee is thrilled with the idea of blessing somebody's wedding with Youth, and will officiate the second you ask. Akane's attempts to establish what this would involve were unsuccessful, as Rock Lee took this as a cue to extemporise on the joy of youthfulness.
Haru has a list of businesses, primarily dyers and weavers, as well as some scribes and bookbinders who use Hagoromo paper, and the details of the paper mill itself. Most are ordinary civilian businesses, with few or no guards and standard locks. The paper mill generally has one or two ninja in attendance. He reluctantly notes that dye vats can be contaminated, ruining a large quantity of material quickly and quietly. Other specialised equipment can be sabotaged or broken. All buildings are wooden (as is much of said equipment) and thus flammable.
After some discussion, Ebisu is prepared to try teaching Canun, with a hefty fee to account for risks of dangerous chakra interaction, plus the difficulty of teaching someone who can't take damage.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting ends on Saturday 26th of September, 1 p.m. New York time.
Haru entered the room carefully, hurrying to be first so that he could choose the seat closest to the door. Hazō was struggling to hide his fury but every line of his body gave the game away, and had he possessed the psychic power of a jōnin the room would have been flooded with killing intent. Being near a ninja exhibiting that much rage was dangerous but Hazō had demonstrated an unpredictability that made it worse.
"Good morning," Hazō said once everyone was seated. "So. Next step in our 'erase the Hagoromo from existence' plan is to ensure minimal collateral damage. Haru has some lists."
"Drunk on power already, I see," Noburi said, shaking his head sadly. "No one left to keep him from the lists."
Haru braced himself to run but Hazō smiled and the tension eased very slightly. "Hush, minion. Your Clan Head speaks."
Unbelievably, Noburi snorted. "Yeah, that'll happen. Nice try, Mr. Mew."
Haru stared in astonishment as Hazō laughed again and the tension eased off until 'furious' was replaced with 'determined'. Weren't Clan Heads supposed to command instant and total obedience? These people really were insane.
"Haru?" Hazō said. "The lists?"
When in unstable situations, keep your mouth shut. He pulled the stacks of paper from one (one!) of his storage seals and handed them around. Each packet was two sheets folded and wrapped in a scrap of leather to protect it against storage stress.
Noburi, Keiko, and Mari all read through the document carefully. Hazō and Gaku didn't bother—Gaku because he had been the one to copy Haru's scribbled originals and Hazō because he had already read it.
"You gathered all this?" Mari asked.
Haru nodded.
"Not bad. You left out the second-order affiliates but you did get all clan businesses and mark relationships." She clearly saw his confusion because she continued, offering an apologetic wave. "A clan business is one that the Hagaromo own directly, like the paper mill. An affiliate is someone that the Hagoromo buy raw goods from, like this smith." She tapped the bottom of the first page. "A second order affiliate is someone for whom the affiliate is a critical supplier or purchaser. When we take out the smith we're hurting the Hagoromo but we're also hurting anyone else who buys from him, as well as the people who make a lot of their income selling raw steel to him. You can never do just one thing."
Haru carefully controlled his face at the latest example of Mari's criticism.
She raised a placating hand. "Haru, you're not a trained infiltrator. There's no reason for you to have known that second-order affiliates were a thing, much less a thing that you should include. This is good work, especially given how quickly you got it done. Most people wouldn't have thought to mark familial relationships among the civilians listed. That's an important piece of information and I'm impressed you thought of it."
What? She was actually praising him? What was her angle?
"Thank you." When in doubt, say as little as possible.
She smiled, not at all taken in by his attempted stone face. "If you're interested, find me the next time we both have an hour to spare and we could go through some of the basics of infiltration work. Not the sex stuff, don't worry. Things like what to look for when doing an intelligence workup, what to look for when you need to find leverage on someone, that kind of thing. I doubt you have any interest in actually doing infiltration but this"—she hefted the list—"is good work, and the problem with doing good work is that you get given more work in the future." She grinned like an urchin. "Just ask the kids about my congee."
A trio of disgusted glares bounced off her invulernable shield of amusement.
Huh. "I'll do that."
"First goal is to figure out how we cut the Hagoromo off from their income without causing too much collateral damage," Hazō said, tapping a finger sharply on his copy of the list in order to draw attention. "Any suggestions?"
Gaku cleared his throat hesitantly. "M'Lord, I had a few thoughts...?"
"Go."
"Sir, after Lord Haru gave me the list to copy I anticipated the nature of your question and did some initial research. The smith you pointed at is a master named Ōshirō who lives in one of the larger villages just down the road from Leaf. He is in high demand and the Hagoromo source much of their materials from him.
"A smith is dependent on his tools. Doing serious smith work requires multiple anvils, a variety of hammers, tongs, and so on. All of these are typically made of iron or steel. Furthermore, although I didn't understand the details, part of the smithing process involves quenching the hot metal in either oil or water, depending on the desired characteristics of the product being created. If iron is quenched at the wrong time it will become brittle.
"One of the worst things that can happen in a forge is for a barrel of quench oil to be overturned and ignited. Raw steel is often stored in the forge for convenience and after being heated in the fire it will become useless for production, forcing the smith to procure new material before they can do any further work. Worse, their tools will be ruined, forcing them out of business unless they can afford to buy an entirely new set.
"Were a quench-oil fire to break out at the Ōshirō forge some night it would be very unlikely to injure the family but it would put them out of work. Ōshirō is an excellent smith, which is why the Hagoromo buy from him. I have no avenue to investigate his finances, but I strongly suspect that with no tools he would be obligated to find work at someone else's forge. He would have no lack of offers, as any of the other blacksmiths in the area would be delighted to acquire an apprentice with the skills of a master."
Hazō nodded. "Whereas we could give him a grant to get him back on his feet on condition that we are his sole customer going forward. We then resell his work and set up commissions for him as we like and somehow there is never time in Ōshirō's schedule to do work for the Hagoromo. Anyone have a problem with it?"
Haru glanced around; no one else did so he shook his head like the rest. To be honest, it was more merciful than he would have expected. It would have been easier to just murder the man.
"Great. Anything else?"
"I've got one," Mari said. "The Hagoromo have two of the finest musical quartets in Leaf. They're in high demand and represent a minor but meaningful income source. Were something to happen to their instruments it would take months, perhaps years, to replace them. So, I'm thinking..."
Mari laid out her cunning plan. Afterwards, other ideas were exchanged and dissected. Some were strangled in their crib, some were approved. Again, there really was an effort not to hurt civilians. The so-called 'Team Uplift' members were doing their best to stay on the right side of the 'no killing civilians' and 'no doing business without a permit' laws.
"Sounds good, make it happen." Hazō said for the last time. He looked around the table to see if there were other suggestions; there weren't. "So, next item: After the dust settles on these various schemes, can we acquire these businesses on the cheap? Buy them out, perhaps through a proxy, for a fraction of the normal cost, then provide financial support and connections to help them ramp up past what they're currently doing?" He hesitated. "Basically, I don't want to hurt people more than necessary, and I don't want innocents getting caught in the crossfire."
"Both of those things are going to happen," Mari said unflinchingly. "Don't kid yourself. We're going to war and there is always collateral damage. We'll minimize it and have plans to clean up afterwards but things are going to get bad for a lot of people."
Hazō wavered for a moment but then shook his head, his expression firming and turning grim. "We'll do what's necessary but no more. My first thought on the subject was the Yakuza."
Haru blinked. Wasn't the entire point of this meeting to figure out ways to not hurt people?
"The Yakuza make a good cutout for us and they have plenty of infrastructure already in place," Hazō continued. "For example: After we financially destroy the Hagoromo, we might be able to have the Yakuza cheaply buy out their businesses for us by proxy. Obviously, we would provide them capital for this and offer to share profits.
"Next, the Hagoromo will be absolutely frantic for liquidity to cover their expenses. The Yakuza could offer them a massive loan with equally massive interest rates, that they would accept out of desperation. This would put them on the hook forever. I feel like the Yakuza might be thankful to be included in such a business venture, and we could probably split the profits with them here too." His smile was grim. "It would be poetic..."
He paused for a moment, probably contemplating the poetry, and then continued. "As a general rule, I think 'the chivalrous organization' might be generally aligned with some of our Uplift goals, so this might serve as part of a greater overture to them as a business partner. If the Yakuza are squeamish then maybe we could get the Nara in on this to provide some assurances that they won't be harmed over this. Thoughts?"
Glances were exchanged.
"Sounds like a plan," Mari said. "I can talk to them this afternoon. Haru, you want to come with? This would be a good opportunity to get a little of that background knowledge." She locked eyes with him from across the table.
Crap. She knew about his arrangement, about why the bodyguards always waited outside the gates.
"Hey, don't worry," she said, smiling. "You don't have to do anything. Just come, loom, watch, and learn. If you like, we can do some taijutsu practice afterwards. There's a counter to that knee strike that you rely on; you should probably learn it from me, and learn the counter to the counter, before you run into it in the field."
Huh. That sounded like a peace offering.
"Sounds good," he said, nodding gratefully.
"Actually," Hazō said, "I think I'll come along. I'd like to meet with the Oyabun so we can establish a working relationship."
Haru tensed up again.
o-o-o-o
"Lord Gōketsu, a pleasure," the Oyabun said, bowing deeply as he personally ushered them into his luxurious meeting room. "May I offer tea? Food?"
"That—"
"You're so kind," Mari said, smiling as she settled on her red-and-green cushion in front of the low table. "Please, you must allow us to provide for you in exchange for the kindness you have shown by clearing your schedule."
"Of course," the Oyabun said, bowing deeply as he knelt on his own cushion. He was a tall man who had started with the build of a wrestler but had the muscles go slack and fall away with age. His face was gaunt and pox-scarred and he wore a small cap that was probably covering up a bald crown. The tiny amount of hair that showed was gray as a winter sky.
Mari produced a storage seal and, with a dramatic flourish, she unsealed a teapot and a tray with three steaming-hot cups of tea. She passed one to the Oyabun and offered the tray to Hazō, selecting the remaining one after he chose. Haru got none; for today he was the bodyguard, his job to stay on his feet and loom behind Mari and Hazō. Bodyguards kept their hands free.
The Oyabun had dispensed with his own bodyguard, but he did have a secretary off in the corner of the room, kneeling with brush and paper ready.
The Oyabun inhaled the scent of his tea, eyes falling closed in pleasure, and then sipped perhaps a quarter of it before lowering it to his lap, the delicate bone china cradled in knobby fingers.
"So," he said. "How may the Chivalrous Organization aid the Gōketsu today? Has there been an issue with our guardians?"
Hazō frowned. "No. I would like to thank you for those, by the way. It was good of you to reach out like that."
The Oyabun studied him for a moment, glanced up at Haru, and then bowed. "Of course, My Lord. The Organization is always eager to have positive relations with our protectors. It was the least we could do."
"The Chivalrous Organization is clearly an honorable organization of the Leaf," Hazō said. "We're here to pay the respect you are due; we wish to offer a deal in good faith."
The Oyabun sipped his tea. "You are most kind, My Lord. We would definitely be interested in that. May I inquire of the specifics?"
"It's embarrassing to admit," Hazō said seriously, "but I often have prophetic dreams."
The Oyabun's gray eyebrows rose. "Truly? A rare gift, My Lord."
"One would think. In truth, it's really more of a curse. I rarely see hopeful or happy futures—those need to be made. No, I see disasters and death and sickness, and I don't always see them in time to prevent them."
"Ah. A terrible curse indeed."
"I've had a dream the last three nights. A dream that suggests an evil kami has become angered at one of the Great Clans of Leaf and intends them harm. Unfortunately, I have no further details so I don't know to whom I should offer the warning."
"I see. And therefore you came to me?"
"And therefore I came to you. The dreams do not always come to pass but when they do they can be great and terrible. Whichever clan is struck down, be it the Gōketsu or any other, I would like you to be ready to help them."
"I see. May I ask if you would be so generous as to share your wisdom on precisely what form of assistance my poor collection of civilians might offer? I shall be glad to do what I can."
"I saw fire and ruin, coins plummeting into darkness, jewels being carried off by magpies. I think the kami intends to strike at their wealth."
"Unsurprising. I am given to understand that this a common choice among vengeful kami."
"Too true," Hazō said, shaking his head sadly. "Too true. Regardless, I would like the Chivalrous Organization to be ready to offer a loan to whichever clan needs it."
"It wouldn't need to be anything special," Mari said, waving airily. "The standard terms you use with your other clients are perfectly acceptable. Actually, feel free to add on a point or three extra. You will be doing a patriotic act and we are asking you to commit a very large amount with very little notice. You deserve compensation for that."
"Ah." The Oyabun fell silent. "May I ask exactly how much money you would suggest I have ready?"
"Perhaps...one hundred million ryō?"
"One hundred million."
She shrugged apologetically. "Well, Hazō's dream did suggest it would be a Great Clan. Their expenses tend to be rather high. Now, you would know your business far better than I, but if you would be willing to accept an idea from an ignorant laywoman, perhaps much of the amount could be in the form of store credit with various vendors around town? I know you have relations with many shopkeepers already. Although the Clan in question, whichever it might be, could arrange such things on their own it would be time-consuming. Far better if you are able to provide them an existing infrastructure. That way you would only need to provide some of the money in hard ryō." She shrugged apologetically. "I fear that the Gōketsu scrip should not be used for such a purpose. We would prefer to stay at arm's-length to the entire thing so that the other clan does not feel indebted to us."
"Yes," the Oyabun said slowly. "Yes, I believe we could provide this service. As is our patriotic duty under the Will of Fire."
"There is one last point," Hazō said, his smile still in place but his voice cooling. "We wish to soften the blow to the civilians as much as possible."
"...Excuse me, My Lord?"
"The ninja of the Clan will be able to provide for themselves but a clan's civilian population has far fewer resources to absorb such a reversal of fortune. We wish to ensure that they are cared for."
The Oyabun stared at Hazō for a full two seconds, then bowed deeply. "Truly, your kindness is greater even than what the stories say, My Lord. I shall ensure that none of the civilians of the—of whichever clan might be struck down by this evil kami goes without food, water, or shelter."
"Excellent," Hazō said. "If any of them get sick, direct them to the clinic on the Gōketsu estate. You should, of course, feel free to send your own people there. We don't charge and we have expert medic-nin on staff. Patients are triaged, with most minor ailments being handled by herbwives and physikers, but the medics will see to any major issues."
"You are most kind." The Oyabun bowed deeply.
"Of course, people need more than simply food and water," Hazō said. "They also need work, a sense of purpose. Should any civilian businesses be harmed by the actions of this evil kami, the Gōketsu would be interested in helping. Perhaps you could act as our agents in this? Acquire the businesses and ensure their security and prosperity. The Gōketsu would be happy to provide capital for such a venture and split the profits with the Chivalrous Organization as an agent fee."
The Oyabun's eyes lit up.
"Specifically, a 10% agent and management fee," Mari said. "After all, the Gōketsu would be supplying the capital."
The light disappeared. "Ah. Yes, of course My Lady."
"That covers all of my business," Hazō said. "Oyabun, the lines of communication are open between the Gōketsu and your brotherhood. Feel free to message us with any matter you consider significant, or drop by our estate or our establishments here in the city. The Naked Jaybird has an excellent menu."
"Yes, of course." The Oyabun bowed again. "I have heard only good things. In fact, I believe some of my associates were looking for a good place for dinner tonight. Would it be convenient for them to come?"
Hazō smiled. "That would be lovely! I hope they enjoy it."
"I feel certain they will, My Lord."
XP AWARD: 4
Brevity XP: 1
"GM had fun" XP: 1
+1 for scene: Oyabun
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