The Boogie Man
I turned slightly to the side as I looked in the mirror, a slight bulge forming in my slender frame. Was I putting on weight? It had been ages since I'd gone out to scare, being retired and all. It had been years since I had taken part in scaring. I shrug as I leave my bedroom, slipping on my jacket as I leave. A lot of monsters don't wear much, but I prefer to go out fully clothed.
Step by hurried step I rush down the stairs, my long legs easily allowing me to take them three at a time. Snatching my briefcase from the bottom of the stairs I walk past a hallway of portraits and photos, all of family and friends come and gone.
"Good day Amelia, George, Henry, George, Jenny, George, Ronald, George, Fredrick, Gorge, Gregory, Samantha,-" I say with practiced effort as I bid them all farewell. It was a morning affair, mostly so I remembered their names even after all this time. There were dozens upon dozens of them, and each day I recited each and every one. I probably didn't need to, but it was comforting to know that I at least thought of them each and every day. I paused as I reached my front door, hand resting on the doorknob, I turned around and let out a pleasant sigh.
"I hope to see you all again soon, at this rate, you might get some new neighbors to the family!" My walks through this hallway had been getting longer recently. More family and friends growing up the walls, it was good to remember and cherish the past, but it was always good to keep more in the future. There was only one photo that wasn't on this wall, I kept it close to heart inside a pendent. Well, the original is inside a vault in my room so I can make copies of it in case I lose a pendent, but you know how it is.
Opening the door I pass the porch and walk down my steps before sliding into my limo as my valet opens it up with practiced ease. Head ducking and briefcase casually tossed into the leather interior I slide in as the door closes behind me. I slept in today, not enough time for breakfast, so we were going to stop on the way. Probably at a fast food joint, always enjoyed such rare delicacies.
"Bremington my good boy, how about we stop at this 'Nasty Burger' place I've heard so much about? I feel like something inordinately greasy today." I say, tapping on the intercom to tell my driver to stop on the way to work. Hearing an affirmative from him I pop open my briefcase to get on some minor pieces of work. Hmm, yesterday's scaring reports, three code of conduct violations, two minor and one severe-
If I was drinking coffee I would have spewed it all over the leather interior.
Severe!?! What in the hell did they
do yesterday!?! Severe is almost universally unclassified except for a handful of things, primarily revolving around endangering monster society as a whole. The fact nobody woke me up in the middle of the night meant that they averted it before it got
too bad. I hated it when things went Code Red. A chill goes down my spine at the mere thought of it. The phantom sensation of something dripping across my skin makes me unconsciously scratch at myself, would have torn my suit if I didn't keep my claws filed.
Ah, we're here. I close the briefcase as we pull into the drive-though. Bremington asks me what I would like today, I reply with my usual, and I get an order of the Grease Pit.
What can I say? I enjoy the sensation of my arteries clogging and the idea of suffering a heart attack from a single bite of this thing. The absolutely greasiest thing available, isn't even on the menu, but they always know it. Within a minute I receive the bag through my window as I drop a fifty dollar bill in the cashier's tentacle. I pull a small dining table out of the limo floor and set my meal on a spare plate. A two pound triple patty BLT with sausages and chilly peppers, deep fried, wrapped in bacon, and deep fried again. A wonderful way to start the day and distract myself from a future shit storm I'll have to deal with today.
Taking the 'burger', because really, the grease pit barely qualifies as such, I take my first bite. A flood of grease enough to give a heat attack to an Indian elephant floods my mouth, slowly chewing, I savor the taste of pure cholesterol. The chunks flow down my mouth with a casual swallow as I repeat the process. Eating finely aged steaks and escargot alamode are one thing, but sometimes you just want to eat something that is absolutely common. And the grease pit perfectly represents the food of the average worker, dense, high energy, and absolutely
terrible for you but you just love it anyways.
After about five bites, the meal is finished almost as soon as it began. Unfortunately fast. I could keep eating the grease pit forever, but alas, I cannot. Wiping my hands off of the grease so I don't get anything important dirty I roll up my mess into a ball and toss it out the window where a passing monster snatches it out of the air.
Later I'm going to personally banish whoever thought it was a good idea to... What was it? I look over the reports for a moment. Child Napping-
CHILD NAPPING!?! That's- I don't even have a reaction for the sheer scale of my rage. I just stare at the paper. I swear to the almighty I'm going to show him a Boogie Man Special. I would sharpen my claws on his bones if he so much as harmed a hair on that child's head.
"Bremington, take the direct route, I have some important business to attend to with Mr. Waterson." I say coldly and moments later we turn off from the circular scenic route we were on before. Bremington was a great driver, he knew when I was trying not to sound angry.
~~~
AN: Apologies for the inconvenience.
EDIT: By the way, I wrote this to a song about the boogie man. If you can guess which one, I'll write a request!
And please, no embeding. I don't want this thread to lag like crazy for some people. One per person please!
EDIT: What are you talking about? This wasn't a Monster's Inc SI! Don't be silly. <_< >_>
