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Just your bog-standard multicross fiction about a random guy who finds himself thrust into the life of being tied to no single world, and deciding to make something of himself in the process.

Currently entirely unbeta'd. I make no claims to high-quality authorial product.

Note to readers: many of the themes in this story deal with the consequences of power; having it, using it, and the consequences of both -- both the good and the bad. Please be advised.
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Chapter 1: Altering the Game
Location
Salt Lake City, UT, USA
If you had seen me six years ago when I first started my new journey in life, you would have thought I was insane. I wouldn't have blamed you -- so did I. I even checked myself into a mental hospital. Eight times. It wasn't until I finally landed here that it all clicked for me. I was some kind of Planeswalker or traveller or something. I could with an act of will step between realities. Learning to come back to a place I'd been before was more challenging. Learning to seek places, barely more so.

The most precious thing I figured out, though, was how to not slip between the cracks. No language I'd ever learned actually had words to describe all of these things. Some metaphors worked better for some tasks, but metaphors are by definition inaccurate.

Where would "here" be, and why would I have spent a little over four years in one place when I could go just about anywhere? The world of Fullmetal Alchemist. Quite frankly the "softest" world, physics-wise, I'd yet found. And the one with the most hope for any long-term travels I might have. With all of the wars and refugees and just 1930's equivalent bureaucracy, slipping into the society here was child's play. Learning automail engineering and maintenance was, ironically, quite easy to pull off. It helped that I knew some things about it that the people teaching me didn't -- like the function of the human nervous system and the role of human souls in automail motivation and for alchemy itself. Learning alchemy, however, was somewhat more difficult.

It would have been damned near impossible if I hadn't made a trip or two to a random zombie apocalypse world or two and shamelessly stolen ingots of gold from Fort Knox to cover my expenses. Even if I did have to make a trip for every ingot. Hiring investigators to find the best available material and medical alchemists who might be willing to actually teach me for a fee was the easiest part.

Actually learning all this stuff? To the level I knew I would need to accomplish to do what I was planning? That was far more tedious. I'd blown off steam more than once just exploring the multiverse. But at some point, I'd known that I was simply delaying the inevitable. Confronting the agonizing would do that to a man. Finding an automail engineer who would be willing to simply not ask questions when offered my notes on sensory prosthetics and enough gold to let his entire family retire for three generations -- and was trustworthy -- did take up an appreciable amount of time, admittedly.

But at some point procrastination just had to have it's limits, and I was at the limits of what this world could offer me. Sure, I could simply settle down and let the whole Father (or maybe Mother? I didn't know which version I was in, and had actively been avoiding finding out) thing play out -- but the longer I stayed here the more likely I would become a statistical oversight in the events of canon. I had to get it over with.

Staring down at the painstakingly laid out alchemy circle, with it's semiotic imagery laid out to provide imaginary links between various concepts in an equally imaginary four dimensional space as represented in a two dimensional medium (with color of chalk for the extra dimension), I cut my thumb with a penknife and began the transmutation event.

What happened next was an event that I'd anticipated and feared none the less, even as I knew just how important it was for my future plans. I didn't fully manage to grasp everything I saw, felt, or heard -- and honestly I felt that was for the best -- but what happened next was. Well. The singularly most surprising part was that it went exactly as I'd expected.

Blank white space. Check. Ornate stone double doors of a material type I was quite sure wasn't actually stone. Check. Hollow black space where a young boy ought to be. Holy fuckballs what was I thinking, check.

The… Truth… thing walked in an assessing circle around me, emoting for effect his/its assessment of me as he went. "You… my, you are a curious one. I could just gobble you up!"

I tried my damnedest to avoid quivering. Maximum Effort time. "Hello. Never actually met a deity-class entity before. Don't know the proper etiquette. Sorry if I offend, or bore. I know I'm not offering enough to get much, but I'm not really asking for anything that anyone who winds up here in the first place doesn't get merely from the experience. And I'm not expecting to walk away without a price. You'll accept Odin's Price?"

Truth laughed. It sounded like the weeping of quasars, and the scent of my grandmother's rosebush. "Well. Yes. You are an interesting one. Half the vision of the world for all the wisdom of the world. If you weren't what you are, I'd just take all of you. But… well. I'm interested to get to see all those nifty places you'll go! You have a deal!"

I didn't even notice the doorway opening, nor did I notice the slender shadow arms reaching out, even though I knew to look for them. It all happened out of my line of sight. I did, however, notice when they suddenly grabbed my head and with a sudden fell swoop ripped my right eye from it's socket.

I barely managed not to black out from the pain. Not immediately. The screaming helped, I would have imagined, much more than it really did. I didn't manage to make it to the door of the room my circle was in before I collapsed. My last thought before the black took me was to wonder when I got back.






I woke up.

All things considered, this was far less of a surprise than it otherwise might have been. I'd gambled big -- albeit while hedging my bets as best I could -- and I probably won. Helped that my little incident of "human transmutation" didn't actually involve any humans other than myself, and I didn't actually try to do anything other than get pulled through to Truth's realm.

The fact that I was not currently lying in a pool of my own blood? That would be due to the frankly questionable ethics of my soon to be least favorite surgeon ever. Because he was going to have to operate on my eye socket while I was awake. But hey. Automail eye. Worse things, I supposed.






Two weeks later. Skipping the details even in your own head, is a bit like repressing a childhood memory. It's just like getting beaten up by your school friends because they don't like how you ride your bike.

It's interesting, really, how automail prosthetics here work. They are powered directly by the user's soul, but don't have to follow the natural bodyplan. The sensory feedback is normally not all that great -- but that's more a limitation of the structure of the prosthetics than anything else. My new Steampunk cybernetic eye wasn't all that great. The resolution was… well. Blurry and chunky. And greyscale. Worked better for outlines than anything else. I also needed to wear an eyepatch at night because the photoelectric cells were able to detect far lower levels than natural light. Took a while to get used to.

I'd insisted on a concealed socket for the eye with Johann, and with the money I'd paid him, he didn't really object, even if it did limit what he could do and didn't make much sense in the context of the prosthetic being obvious when attached anyhow. He'd done shadier things for less palatable people, after all. Someone wanting to be able to wear a glass eye instead of an automail eye at his discretion -- well, that was just odd but hardly likely to hurt anyone.

Needless to say, if he had the slightest hint about the "glass eye" I now held in my hand, sourced from materials scavenged from a slightly more advanced than usual deadworld, he might have found it less puzzling. Getting used to the prosthetic I was actually going to bear? That was more difficult. A proper if analogue camera, with mechanical zoom and both infrared and "backscatter" receptor, all connected to voluntary muscle control… it would have been impossibly overwhelming to go directly to my proper prosthetic. I'd need time to train in its use, but I certainly wasn't going to do so on this world. Too much risk of being noticed by groups like the State Alchemists now that I've done my little bit of taboo-breaking. No, I was done with this world.

The time had come to finally and truly step out of my cradle and carve out my own place in the cosmos. After all -- if I could do the things I could do, and then so could someone else. And the odds that they would be friendly? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I couldn't take chances. Hell, I'd already taken to robbing dead worlds, and that was me trying to be ethical. Someone without that compulsion? Yeah. Better to have my own carved out niche where I could hang my hat in safety.

Plus there was that little voice in the back of my head that kept whispering: "If someone asks if you are a god, you say yes!" At least the voice listened when I complained about things like having to eat energy fields bigger than my head. Mostly.

I decoupled my less advanced prosthetic, and hooked in my self-made eye. As expected, the inputs were confusing. I'd need to relearn control just like walking again. "Maximum Effort."

I took a deep breath; it would be my last of the air of this world. On the one hand, it was too bad I never got to meet any of the Hoenheims. On the other, they'd be just fine without me. Wish I could've something about Nina without putting my neck in a noose, though. Really wish that.

I stepped sideways and reality crumpled around me.
 
Chapter 2: If Ford Can Be an Inventor, So Can I.
I had been putting some thought into how I would pull off my next few steps for some time now. My ability to travel between worlds was something I had played around with for a while, grasping at its limits. There was a certain sense of distances between places, and I could feel the difference between places I'd connected to before and those I hadn't. Trying to arrive at a place before or after I'd left it last wasn't something I could do. Well, unless I let my connection to it drift forward as I moved forward myself. I'd found more than a few fictional worlds -- most of which were as far as I could tell just generic dramas of one form or another. Lots of zombie apocalypse worlds. Or just "deadworlds" in general.

I'd also learned that I could "peak in" to a world -- like skimming the surface -- without actually forming a connection. That made narrowing down what I wanted much easier, as it reduced searches from physically connecting and guessing if I got the timeframe correct down to something akin to running my fingers over the surface and just "knowing" if I was in the right vicinity, or if it had "what I wanted". A good example of this would be the world I now found myself in… and more precisely, where I found myself within it. The design offices for the replacement flagship of the UEO, to be precise. Yeah. SeaQuest DSV. My memories of the show were relatively vague, but I wasn't really looking to invest myself into the plot any more than I had been in the Fullmetal Alchemist world. There were only a few things I was really all that interested in obtaining here, and I could do all of them in this place. Snatch-and-Grab. I'd need what I was obtaining here for my next stop and for other, further, plans. So, USB drive slurping down the poorly secured design schematics and manuals governing the care and maintenance of the SeaQuest herself, while I "hopped sideways" over to the berth where they were growing the subs' hull material. I'd need a sample to expedite things -- and honestly, it was amazing to see it in person. The SeaQuest was a living ship -- or, at least, its hull was comprised of a living organism, and had a crush-depth rating of 9,000 meters. That might not sound like much until you realize that the SeaQuest was the size of a naval frigate, and could go half again deeper than the deepest steel-hull vehicles ever made… which were also something like two orders of magnitude smaller than the sub I was now looking at. In other words, it was a ridiculously capable living material, for a human society with a 21st century techbase. One able to withstand pressure differences that one would find in indirect hits from nuclear weapons without rupturing. And self-repairing so long as the vessel had appropriate power and mass to "feed" it.

I almost felt bad about stealing the specs and samples needed to reproduce the stuff. I'd have to send the man who invented the stuff a fruit basket someday, or something. And besides; it's not like they'd find anything gone missing. On second thought, this place was kind of a one trick pony in terms of anything I might get of lasting value here. Best to just move on.

I hopped sideways back to my data download, with my illgotten gains firmly in hand, and proceed on to my next totally legitimate business transaction across realities.

Altered Carbon. This place challenged me. On the one hand, cyberpunk is lovely visually and the grittiness makes for compelling storylines. On another, the colony worlds are shall we say less than enthusiastically maintained bureaucratically yet still have access to the same techbase. I'd be coming back here from time to time. But for my first trip, the biggest thing I would be taking advantage of is the free health clinics that offer installation/implantation services for one's Stack. The data on the things are literally open-source. They're considered a basic human right, and the hardest part of my efforts here was finding a clinic sufficiently remote enough in a world with sufficient population that my claiming to be a disenchanted son of a religious exceptionalist group wouldn't have the colony's Child Protective Services on the imaginary cult's compound.

Getting a pawnshop to transfer gold coins to an account in my name no questions asked was slightly more difficult. Using that to purchase a pair of dataslates with a universal wireless data transfer device was somewhat more difficult still. But hey. At least I finally got to live in a decent hotel for the duration it took me to pull this off. The less said about the people I encountered while firmly sticking out of anyone and everyone's way and doing my damnedest to give off "utterly unimportant, pay no attention to this man who is utterly boring in every possible way" vibes … well. I was pretty sure I'd failed, but I was also pretty sure I didn't care. Hopping sideways to that clinic and grabbing a handful of unallocated stacks was going to cost me in the future, but stealing the things was sort of like stealing aspirin. Barely more than a misdemeanor.

The next step I was going to take was one I cared about rather a bit more, and a much longer "figurative" trip. I'd thought for a while about where exactly to go to get this done. Some corner of my mind felt that television series somehow had greater "mythical weight" or something and thus would be easier to find, as opposed to settings or worlds that only had written form. But there was just no getting around the next step I had in mind -- I just simply couldn't even after years of wracking my brain remember or locate one that had what I wanted in exactly the format I wanted it in. And it was an important one to my future efforts.

Brain-computer interfaces. Neural implants. Especially ones that allow the implantee to "synchronize" with complex and largely arbitrary forms of technology. One of the things I'd noticed early on was that for whatever reason the vast majority of the worlds I could find were "hard" realities. Star Trek was on the softer scale of what I could access -- and only the earlier stuff at that. Truly magical settings… even Fullmetal Alchemist's author claimed that it was science fiction not fantasy. Comic-book universes? Star Wars? Straight up unreachable. At least, not for me as I was at this point.

This was a dilemma that I'd need to thread the needle on: On the one hand, I needed personal power that would be guaranteed to be effective in any universe I found myself in, and the less equipment I needed to carry to pull that off, the better; as I was limited in travelling between worlds to what I could readily carry on my person. I had some ideas for how to work around around that problem, but until I did, I'd be strictly limited to what I could either carry or become. And since pretty much every form of low-magic setting that allows an individual to become powerful does so at the expense of deals with entities or phenomena that can only be guaranteed to exist in that universe … well. I was lucky I'd found Fullmetal Alchemist. Or maybe my unconscious mind already knew what I would need and what would convince me. I'd never know.

Anyhow. Point here is: scifi universes were far more accessible than magical ones (somehow the Buffyverse was within reach. I still hadn't worked out all of the rules for my range, but I sure as hell wasn't going to try figuring them out there. Heh. Buffyverse. Hell.). The less handwaving mainly involved, the more likely I could freely access them. And thus my overall problem: I needed a form of "hacking" interface that was capable of interfacing with as many different techbases as I could possibly get, that I could carry with me anywhere I went, and wouldn't set off alarms for having it, and wasn't from a setting that was too fantastical to pull that off. During my time in Amestris, I'd worked out where to go. One of the worlds of the Eco-Tech Coalition, circa The Parafaith War. And it was in part why I'd stolen multiple samples of both the Altered Carbon Stacks and why I'd stolen the specifications for the SeaQuest's hull material. See, the Eco-Tech folks -- they were big on mastering biotech. They were terraformers and genetic engineers writ large. And they were also stuck fighting a interplanetary civilization of religious fanatics, and as such had bent their technology towards various military applications. Including but not limited to an "intelligence" model of neural implant -- made of biological materials -- that was remarkable not for its wireless interfacing capability, as all of their milspec implants had this, but for its ability to go undetected to in-depth bioscans performed by hostile governments looking specifically for said implants as a way of detecting spies.

This next part was going to suck, though.

I allowed reality to uncrumple around me, in the middle of a technical briefing by Eco-Tech terraforming experts looking to convert an oceanic world into one more suitable to permanent habitation by future colonists.

"Greetings, programs! I come in peace! Take me to your lead-"

Did I forget to mention they had neuralytic shock inducing stunner weapons?





I woke up and found myself in a nondescript beige cell. Ten meters by ten meters by ten meters. One bed, with some sort of padding that was made of something I couldn't tear, or leave cuts on. One ceramic toilet, like a prison cell of my homeworld would have used steel for. One faucet. No mirror. Nothing else I could see -- any of the seams in the wall could be for a door, and I wouldn't be able to tell.

I cooled my heels there for a while, after splashing some water on my face. I didn't know, exactly, how long this game of chicken I was now finding myself in would last but the one thing I was sure of was that whatever form of brainscans or memory probing these people could do without causing long-term damage, they almost certainly had already done to me. So it was just a matter of showing them that I was willing to be patient until they decided to play ball. Forcing the issue by side-hopping would be a great way to get myself dead.

I lasted … well, I don't know how long, but it felt like a couple of hours, anyway, before I finally called out. "Hey, can I get, like, a deck of cards or something? Or maybe y'all can stop pretending you've forgotten me in here and we can get to brass tacks on why I've come? Dunno how much you've gotten from me already but I imagine you have questions. Can't promise answers, but I can promise good faith dealing."

Nothing. Well, it could've been worse. They could've been blasting "Macarena" at ear-damaging volumes and flashing strobelights. Or lacing the air with truthdrugs. … Actually were probably doing that and just waiting for their bioscans to confirm they were taking effect. Meh. I'd planned on being honest.




Fuckers waited until I'd fallen asleep to rush in and grab me again. They even used a stunner on me while picking me up. I mean, what the hell.

Bleary-eyed me woke up with my face smushed in an entirely undignifed position on a plastic table of some kind, with my hands locked down by some kind of restraints. I didn't actually know if I could do my stepping out of reality thing restrained like this. Blinking, I noticed that the person in front of me was actually showing up in my infrared and backscatter vision as well as regular sight.

Huh. They didn't take my eye. That was actually surprising. Maybe they hadn't worked out … how it worked? "Uhhh… howdy."

Smooth. Real smooth.

The vaguely hispanic/asian looking man in front of me was a good bit shorter than I was, even with my chair lowered than his. He was also remarkably unimpressed. "Typical aryan sloppiness. What were you expecting with a stunt that stupid?"

I blinked again, the low-key shock of the sheer casualness of the man's tone at total odds to the setting I was in. I snorted. "Honestly?" I rattled my hands in their restraints, or tried to. "This. Had to be as persuasive as possible if the rest would hold out. Have your people worked out the samples I brought? What they can do?"

The man glared at me. Way too long. Seriously, if I wasn't able to watch his body-heat patterns fluctuate I would've thought he was a robot, he remained perfectly still for that long. "Perhaps we should start again. I am Lieutenant-Commander Nakajima, Eco-Tech Naval Intelligence Division. And you would be…?"

I offered a wan smile. "No truth drugs in the air? Oh man. Disappointed. Or maybe they just didn't work? Hrm. Anyhoo, it's a pleasure to meet you, Commander. You can call me Mark Andes."

No visible reaction. Dude's a friggin' rock. "I see. Well, Mr. Andes. You have created something of a stir in your arrival. I will … cut to the chase, I believe is the term you would expect. Your arrival created a rather great deal of consternation amongst our people. You are quite lucky that the conference you chose to 'bomb' was not a livecast one, and that this colony is only fairly remote. You are even more lucky about who it is that has chosen to intervene on your behalf. Were it not for Vel Seen, you would likely never have woken up again."

Oh. Oh shit. The Fahrkan. I'd completely forgotten about them. Of course those arcotech greys would notice my arrival. They'd probably dealt with, like, a billion people with abilities like mine. I immediately strangled my panic. "Oh? Can I assume that this 'Vel Seen' will be wanting to speak to me, then?"

Nakajima snorted. "No. In fact, Doctor Seen was quite insistent that we ask you politely to 'leave and never return to this universe', end quote. Emphasis on the politely."

I frowned. "I had rather hoped to make a successful bargain with your people. I could offer a great deal of …"

"It might interest you to know that Doctor Seen is a specialist in submarine habitat modeling."

Damnit. Well. Okay. "I… had rather hoped your people would be able to get some good use out of the samples I'd come with. The Doctor's people haven't simply taken them from you, I hope?"

Nakajima lips quirked faintly upwards in what I would almost call a smile, then looked to the door and simply nodded. "You're planning to leave the materials in question with us even though you can't actually get anything in return?"

I just nodded.

Nakajima bowed his head slightly. "Then on behalf of both my government, I am authorized to provide you with this sample container. Within you will find an early-generation bioneural implant and instructions on how a surgeon might safely implant it in an adult human of good health."

This was surreal. "Why?"

"We have found it good policy to mirror the Fahrkan in how they respond to the absurd."

My mind stuttered. "What."

Nakajima didn't respond except to release the clamps on my hands and pick up a slim briefcase which he slid over the table to me from its spot on the ground by the table, where I hadn't seen it earlier, stand up, bow at the waist, and walk out of the room.

What the actual hell.

I picked up the sample case, and slid out of reality.
 
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Chapter 3: Rethinking the Obvious
Stupid. I had done something incredibly stupid. Of course the hyper-advanced "We Ain't Gotta Explain Shit" aliens had the ability to detect my intrusion on the space of their pets

I supposed I was just lucky that they were the merciful and mysterious sort. Well, that and that I'd planned on acting in good faith and they seemed to have this hyperethical thing going on. Didn't change the fact that I spent a good two full hours ranting at myself in my safehouse in a dead postapocalyptic world.

The truth was that I'd gotten off fairly lucky considering the immensity of my oversight, and that I'd have to be considerably more careful with my future plans. The biggest question remained how I should go about being stealthy about my activities in the future if this was going to be a recurring problem. I had absolutely no idea how the Fahrkan had detected me. Maybe they had lifesign detectors pointed at all human space? Some sort of galaxy-wide spatial distortion detectors that pinged to my intrusion? I literally had no idea -- and I sure as hell wasn't going to try to force my way into their facilities to find out. As I currently was, I had no guarantees that even if I had a thousand years that I would get even the slightest hint of how they noticed me, let alone how they understood what I was.

Kinda wish they'd let me know that last one. But meh. I still got -- sort of -- what I was after there. I just needed it actually implanted. I'd been counting on the Eco-Tech Coalition for backing me up in reverse engineering more of the technologies I thought I'd need for the future, but that plan was out. Back to the drawing board it was. Happily, I'd actually kept notes of possible alternate routes before I settled on the ETC. One of the options I'd previously discounted because it limited a lot of my "infiltration" potential was the Ghost in the Shell universe. Reviewing my notes made it pretty clear that shouldn't be a problem assuming I could actually get the Eco-Tech neural implant installed by someone there. Given that they still valued gold currency and had a lot of refugees, integrating myself there wouldn't be especially hard for a modern world. It wasn't even one of the more difficult worlds for me to reach.

A twist through unspace later, and I was standing in a clinic in the American Empire. More specifically, a "back-alley" clinic in the American Empire. I'd chosen it because, well, there were worse things to be than a criminal supplier and maintainer of cybernetics for the underclasses in a failing racist regime. Giving the underdogs a bit of a leg up against fascist assholes felt like the sort of thing that would both get fewer questions asked of why I wanted to work with them and that I could live with any consequences should they emerge later.

What I didn't expect upon allowing reality to unfold around me was to be bombarded with noise. It was a cacophany. My head started to feel like it was literally exploding and I was really getting tired of collapsing into unconsciousness damned near every single damned time I went someplace new.





I came to and found myself resting on what I could clearly make out to be a medical table. I wasn't really sure, exactly, how loud my groan was.

"I must say, fellah, that of all the ways to make an introduction to a man like me, I certainly wasn't expecting yours. Name's Clemont Biggs, but I imagine you already know that considering what you had on you when you came in here." The man confronting me was tall, middle-aged, damned near rail thin, and of clear african descent. The doctor I'd chosen to do the implantation, in fact.

I stared blearily at him for a while before my brain fully kicked into gear. "Ahh… you… you opened that case up, did you?"

He nodded. "That I did. 'Fraid your manner of introduction makes a man a mite bit mighty curious. Figured you'd understand, considering I needed to see if you had some medical concerns. What you had in the other bag on you was meant for me?" He was referring to the ten pounds of unmarked fresh-minted gold coins.

I sighed and nodded at him in turn. The act helped clear up the fog in my head. "Well, yes. Mostly to cover installing what was in the case."

The good doctor's response was not what I had expected. "Why? What's wrong with the one you got in you now? Didn't find anything wrong with the diagnostics I could run. Not even accounting for the instructions in the case."

Those. Fucking. Greyfaced. Jeweltoothed. Bastards. That was what Nakajima had meant by mirroring the Fahrkan's generosity! "I. Uh. Well that's a long explanation you don't want. Nothing dangerous, just … obnoxious. Suffice to say someone played a prank on me."

Biggs was, in a word, skeptical. "Uh-huh. Sounds 'bout right. Total erasure of all control firmware in your implant is a hell of a 'practical joke', son. I ain't never seen anything like it before, but I did manage to cobble something together with the universal compatability micromachine firmware I had on hand. It ain't perfect, you understand? Only reason it works at all, less'n I miss my mark, is due to how… adaptable… that piece of technology you got in your noggin' is. Look, I'm gonna start easing off on the network blockers in here, now, son. You might want to ease yourself out of autistic mode as I do, you understand?"

This guy. This guy was going on my christmas list. I stood there and just soaked in the local network feeds as I did. I could feel them like a weird sort of vague misty smoke surrounding me. Picking out frequencies and listening in as I went was … well. I could see some things were encrypted but the publicly accessible stuff… how does a man react to knowing he's got the entire internet in his head? My greymeats were probably, like, eighty percent pornography already.

I stared at Doc Biggs hard. "A thought's been bouncing around in my head, doc, and I kinda hope you'll play it with me straight here. Why in the hell are you helping me so much? I came here with a case full of experimental technology and even more in my head already, and a bag full of unmarked and untraceable gold coins. I know for a fact you didn't find a thing on me in any databases you could pull up from my biometrics data. So … why?"

Biggs shook his head. "A man in my line of work doesn't get that way by asking questions he doesn't want answers to, son. But he doesn't stay in this line of work by acting in bad faith. Besides. You came here planning to pay me enough to pay off my mortgage and my children's college fees. And 'experimental' technology? The hell you say, boy. That shit is beyond experimental. I know experimental tech. What you have in that case -- in your head -- that's milspec. I served. As a cybertech medic. You ain't got a lick of detectable cybernetics in you; even a deep medical scan barely showed me that eye, and them two brain implants of yours. I know "military secrets" when I see them -- and I know enough about what the Imperials have been up to, to know that whatever military it is, it sure as hell ain't mine. To top it all off, you came to me without tripping a single one of my security alarms. Naw. I ain't never kicked a man when he was down before, and I sure as hell ain't gonna start now. Wouldn't be good manners. I don't know what you're running from, son, but if it don't follow you here I won't be bringing it down on you."

He paused, then, and if his eyes were laser drills he'd be boring for texas tea through my skull right then. "You tellin' me I got something to worry about with you?"

I raised my hand up placatingly. "Nobody's gonna come asking questions about me, if that's what you're worried about. I … I'm not actually on the run so much as I've been asked not to make myself a nuisance, let's say. Best I don't talk about it."

Biggs very carefully didn't wince at my words. "Political shit?"

I shook my head. "Not… I can't go home again, but there's no trouble that's gonna follow me and I haven't got any enemies I know about. Just let it rest there, yeah?"

His look turned into something mildly indulgent. "You're payin' enough for the privilege, son. That I can do. Not for nothin', though, I actually know a good psychiatric AI or two that are certified to scrub session data. Might've sent a man or two their way after the war, y'know?"

I started with a chuckle, "Sir, I may yet take you up on that. Got somewhat more pressing concerns at the moment, though. You mind if I keep ahold of your information for future needs? Might be I will find myself in need of a good physician who has a good reputation for keeping quiet about things."

"'S long as you're a payin' customer, and don't bring any trouble down on my head, I'll keep you patched up, son."

I smiled predatorily. "So… any chance you might be willing to take future payments in … trade?"

He looked at me askance and for a moment I wondered if I'd pushed too far. I'd been looking for a physician with loose ties to the civil rights underground, but a competent man of that sort would be cagey and I was already weird enough. "Might do. What you have in mind?"

I sent him a datafile from the Altered Carbon universe dataslate. One that explained Digital Human Freight and how the Stack played into it. Biggs' eyes widened like saucer plates. "This is … this is the real thing?"

My smile widened. "Yessir."

His frown grew to match the width of my smile. "Damn your eyes, kid. I can't say no to this and you know it."

I leaned back onto the bed. "You'll give it to the right people. I'm quite certain of it."

"And what do you want for this?"

"Honestly? I'm imagining you can recommend a good hacker to me. Someone who might be willing to teach me his techniques in exchange for, well, that and the dataslate."

The much older man grumbled at me and I could suddenly sense a datastream flowing from him. A short bit later, I found myself making my first cyberspace call. I was confronted with an extremely basic disc avatar, and a blurred synthetic voice. "Clemont says you're my kind of trouble. That Stack of yours… it seems the real deal. If you're playing us I'll hack your head to see nothing but german eel porn for the rest of your life. Meet me at the corner of fifteenth and Washington. One hour."

I responded back in kind -- the cyberbrain software the good Doctor had uploaded into my head was significantly more intuitive than I'd anticipated, but then again this stuff at its most basic was made to be usable by eight year old children. And I suspected the Fahrkan gave me somewhat better hardware than it normally ran on. "How will I know who you are?"

"You'll know."





"Hello, Mr. Anders."

I was standing beneath a streetlight on the corner of the indicated streets at the indicated time, and had been for a good five minutes, before I was approached by a japanese looking man with what I recognized to be the same kind of eye implants as were common in the Japanese SDF rangers. I couldn't for the life of me recall the model information, but the man I was looking at could have been a clone of Batou for all I knew.

I shook my head ruefully. "Well. You certainly weren't was I was expecting."

He just smiled at me. "Yeah, well. You try being a veteran of the wrong side of a war in this country and see how you like the feel of it."

I just quirked an eyebrow at him. "You got a name?"

"Yes. But you can call me Nobody, just for that."

I shook my head. "Alright… this is gonna take a while. You got a place we can rest our legs while we have this little chat?"

"Eh. You check out enough. Not even I could find a damned thing on you. Decent coffeeshop right behind you. Let's start there."

I walked in and made to sit an an otherwise unoccupied couch in what was clearly a cubby designed to defeat common forms of surveillance. Hell, the doorway to enter was even a holographic mist display. I settled in to wait.

'Nobody' showed up a minute or two later and set some sort of device that made a high-pitched whine when he set it down on the coffee table in front of us. "Alright. Let's cut to the chase. You're clearly a foreign agent here to stir up the shit. What are you offering, what are you really after, and what will it cost us?"

I paused for a moment while thinking through how to address the issue of the man in front of me. "Hrm. Okay. You haven't heard of my little … organization … but for now you can call us the Jovian League. Your lot were chosen because, frankly, the League likes the idea of strong interest groups backing the ideas of individual self-determination and free association. I was allowed to make the choice of who to contact and where, and I figured that here was as good a place as any. As to what I'm offering will cost you … well. The good doctor might've informed you about the shall we say 'catastrophic data loss' event I suffered when I arrived? It's a part of the League's operational parameters that agents need to gather together resources and tools not based on League methods. For deniability and profiling concerns, you know. What I want is, essentially, whatever software tools you're willing to exchange meant for cracking and infiltration purposes. Especially those that are dynamically adaptable to unknown hardware and software configurations."

'Nobody' carefully avoids making eye contact with me for some reason. "You're asking for a dedicated polymorphic AI assistant. That's a big ask."
I tossed the Altered Carbon dataslate at him. "Think that'll cover it?"

'Nobody' linked to the dataslate, and I could see in real time as his bodyheat profile showed him reacting like he'd found a long-lost lover and she was not only just as beautiful as he remembered but interested in picking up where they left off and making up for lost time while they were at it. "Dear lord. How do you have specs like that on this thing??"

I smiled indulgently. "Believe it or not, that sn't Jovian tech. All yours on top of the rest. Still a big ask?"

'Nobody' smiled at me predatorily. "I think we're going to be very good friends, you and I."

It is an interesting facet of social dynamics that trust can be established fairly quickly if you make yourself appear to be a gullible fool with pockets that are far too deep for your own wellbeing. Nobody pisses off rich kids looking to throw money in their direction unless they have to. I had my AI assistant -- and determined that I was, in fact, able to run it on the EcoTech implant in my head, no less -- less than an hour later. Turned out 'Nobody' was "actually" one Charles Turingson. A totally legitimate and not at all fake name. Not like 'Mark Andes' was a real name either. But hey, at least we could be on first name basis with one another.

I wandered aimlessly in a nearby park for the rest of that afternoon just exploring the new AI and my digital interfacing capabilities before allowing myself to slide through the surface tension of reality again.
 
Chapter 4: Totally Legitimate Salvage
The Star Trek Universe. I'd scoped this place out before, with thoughts about trying for some of the more interesting technologies found here, before I had my little reminder about the strength and temperance of mysteriously powerful aliens. Unlike the Fahrkan, the things in the Star Trek universe were very often far more malicious, when they weren't outright capricious. Q being the most worrisome example. I had to simply hope that by avoiding making ripples that were too large, I could avoid his attention. A good part of that was by limiting myself the timeframe before the UFP existed. I never really cared for the Enterprise series when it aired, but the fact of the matter was that unless I suddenly became a Planetary Annihilation Commander or a genuine Planeswalker, I'd have to wait for at least a decade or two before things like replicators were comprehensible enough for me to even hope to provide the power to operate them.

No, my purpose here was far more limited in scope. Which would be how I found myself standing amongst the wreckage of the colony that was built from the hull of the SS Conestoga. On Terra Nova. One of if not the absolute first extrasolar colonies of humanity. `I'd completely forgotten the name of the ship before coming here -- I certainly didn't have any kind of eidetic or flawless memory. At best I could sort of scry areas from within the inter-universal non-space, an ability I planned to exploit to no end, even if it did take time and require me to know what I was looking for along with a general sort of "where". The Conestoga carried a number of rather useful technologies, for my purposes, along with instructional materials on how to maintain and even them in the ship's fabrication equipment-slash-machine shop. Even better, that data was stored in independently backed up data storage solutions that operated on solar charges. To the crew of the Enterprise, when they arrived here, this information was at best useful for historical purposes. But for me, it was a godsend. Some of this stuff, I'd likely never get much use out of. The warpdrive for example could manage roughly 1.5x the speed of light. More interesting for my purposes was the gravity plating and the security particle guns. There was even a pistol that still held the capacity for ten or fifteen shots. It would take a month of solar panel charging for it to recover the ability for a single additional shot. Fusion reactors … well, I was sure it was something I could trade someone for. The chemical formulation and synthesis specifications for room temperature superconductors, on the other hand, was something I could get a great deal of mileage out of fairly quickly.

I didn't really understand a damned bit of the materials my plucky if personality-less AI was downloading for me -- all of it relatively unencrypted, as it was meant to be accessible, and reproduced with a bare minimum of equipment necessary because nine year one way trip colony -- but the cyberbrain firmware I'd gained was at least making that data accessible to me consciously, so that I could at least fake understanding with the equivalent of instant rote memorization. At least, the bits of it that I could retrieve from the secondary dataslate I still had on my person, as I wasn't willing to risk overloading my actual brainmeats with the amount of data I was extracting from these systems.

I was very carefully only making copies of information beyond the one extraneous particle pistol I was stealing, however, and not looking to take anything more. Even if I could carry some of the data storage devices, they honestly weren't as effective as what I could already access. One more hop to make here and then I could get out of Q central hopefully without tripping any flags.

Hopping sideways -- stepping out and back into the same reality I'd just left -- was always an exercise in patting one's head and rubbing one's stomach in circles. It required looking left and right at the same time, as it were. Easier to do with less distance involved, but in this case the distance was a couple dozen lightyears. I could only pull it off because I knew exactly what to look for -- the automated drydock station run by cyberzombies. This would be another run and pump for data only. Much as I'd like to get ahold of industrial replicators there was simply no way I could possibly build them myself, yet. Let alone operate them -- the sheer data involved in the materials involved was simply beyond my ken.

I didn't have as much time as I would've liked at this stop; the security systems of the automated station were meant to prevent intruders from accessing the systems. I had an easier go of it due to being able to simply step into the facility where the comatose bodies were kept, and connecting to the systems through my neural implant was a work of seconds -- thanks to the data retrieval AI. I still only had a minute or two to extract the data from the station, which meant that I barely had long enough to get the schematics for the replicators themselves and the scanning equipment -- there would be no time to pull down the multitude of templates it had on file. Not that even with the data storage I had on hand I could even attempt to do so. Quadrillions of yottabytes of data was a total that was immensely beyond my ability to simply carry around.

The alarms started blaring even as I vanished from this reality back to my postapocalypse safehouse. The trip to and from the far edges of my range always left me gasping for breath, even if the phenomenon was probably psychosomatic -- it wasn't something I could do freely. And even as early in the timeline of the setting as it was as I'd travelled to it, I had been pushing my limits to get there.





I almost had a minor panic attack as I thought about the question of whether or not a member of the Q Continuum or "Ascended Beings Club" could actually follow me outside of their reality, and I hunkered down to trying to sense in the un-nothingness for other beings, as utterly futile as that attempt was; I had no way of knowing if I was just imagining that there was nothing there, or if there truly wasn't actually anything out there. I still kept at it for about twenty minutes more before the sheer futility of my actions (or, rather, inactions) got to me and I decided to just man up on it. If they'd really had a problem with what I'd done there, they would've been easily able to stop me.

But I sure as hell wasn't planning on going back to that place unless I absolutely had to.

Now, a more inquisitive sort of person might wonder what, exactly, I was planning to do with all of the material and information I'd thus far acquired -- seeing as I had no means of actually using any of it just yet. Such a person would be fairly wise. But that was where the next step in my little misadventures would come into play, and on this step I was fairly confident I could be somewhat more relaxed about it all, seeing as I had no eldritch fleshgods or atemporal extradimensional consciousnesses to worry about lurking around in the corners. No, all I had to worry about in my next little trip along the way to acquiring fame fortune and unlimited power was being shot by robot cowboys with delusions of consciousness.

Like a mirror disintigrating, the zombie apocalypse reality shattered around me -- or maybe I shattered within it -- and a short bit of holding my breath later, I found myself standing in a concrete bunker style of facility in exceptionally poor and intermittent lighting, facing a long-malfunctioning wraparound digital display that was stuck on a corporate logo. If you could even call giant orange letters reading "DELOS" on a white background a corporate logo.

The area I'd stepped into was one I had scryed -- remote-viewed? Terminology. Ugh. -- to be essentially unpopulated. What I had not anticipated was the sickly sweet smell of sewage and soupifying flesh. Should've expected it considering how close the Westworld Universe was to the generic zombie apocalypse, though.

It took a number of very small hops to get together everything I was looking for in this long-abandoned facility, even if it wasn't everything I might've wanted. I probably could've done this part much more simply, but I had utterly no way of knowing what would actually work for it and what would not, so I had to take my chances. This was the next real step in my plans for establishing a powerbase -- finding a workaround for my transit limitations. Having to constantly be constrained to only that which I could actually carry was going to be immensely tedious beyond description.

So I decided that I would find a way to cheat. If I was limited to only that which I could carry and myself, then I could simply make myself bigger. Ergo the focus on the Fullmetal Alchemist automail, and the real reason I absconded with the organic hull technology of the SeaQuest. Oh, I probably didn't need the "bigger me" to actually be biological as well as an extension of my soul -- but it sure as hell couldn't hurt and I wasn't going to take my chances unless I absolutely had to. It had taken me two full weeks of hopping back and forth between the zombie apocalypse world, various Altered Carbon Universe colony worlds, and the DELOS facility to get everything I needed set up for "phase two" of my 'grand master plan', but I'd managed it nonetheless. Doing it while simultaneously shutting down all mesh networking and monitoring to the corners of the DELOS facility I'd actually be using was a pain, but a necessary one as I couldn't be certain how competent Delores et al. would be in finding me down here and I'd only get one shot at this.

The other thing that was useful about the DELOS facility was that I could actually construct fully trustworthy surgeons here, if only those using skills I myself or the surgeons of this world already knew. Which was how I found myself staring at a bone-white Host looking for all the world like a paper mache musculoskeletal anatomy model holding a scalpel while I was strapped down onto my stomach. This was going to be painful. Why did so many of my plans involve inflicting egregious amounts of pain on myself? Oh, right. Desperation and fear.

I bit down on the leather-wrapped dowel that I had placed in my own mouth while using my implant to direct the surgeon Host in the task of installing the new automail sockets along my spine. Designing them using the Host tissue with the goal of having them appear to be benign precancerous tumors to anyone who didn't know what they were looking at -- though the regularity involved would be suspicious to say the least -- was the best I could do with the things, given what I needed them to do.

Even as I was being operated upon, the last of the large-scale Host bioprinters in the DELOS facility that was actually operational (in no small part thanks to my using scavenged schematics from the mesh systems they were stored upon) was executing the program of printing out possibly one of the largest objects it had ever actually constructed. Not so much an animal as an egg made of the SeaQuest hull organism -- itself being reproduced from a "slurry" in lieu of the usual biomimetic plastic that the printers normally worked with, where the regular mimetic plastic "bones" weren't in place. Ironically, after doing a little digging on the issue, I probably could have used the Westworld Hosts for this transit vessel I was making for myself. Turns out the stuff is a lot more organic than I'd picked up from the TV show. Or maybe it was shown and I just forgot about it? Either way -- the stuff was probably closer to plant than animal, really, but the biomimetic plastic was something that should genuinely be rated as "living plastic". It breathed, it metabolized, it could to a limited extent self-repair. Incredible stuff. And I was making a giant egg-shaped boat out of it. Well, if you could call something a boat if it wouldn't float, had no engines -- let alone a powersource, outside of the digestive and respiratory systems which didn't really bear too much thinking about (if pushed, it could extend a root system out to gather nutrients (well, it would be better described as a mycelium network, but meh, they were roots) and was basically just an egg with a door, with a throne room, a bed, and a larger room with webbed shelving -- all of which was in its own creepy way actually a living thing.

The goal -slash- plan here was to have a couple of "worker" Hosts load up the thing with components necessary to operate and assemble a Host fabricator on wherever I was going to wind up. And then … minions! Every god-emperor needs minions. Plus, I needed someone to do dangerous research that wasn't me. So subsapient biorobots is kind of a great option there. Score.





The worst part about automail is that it requires the patient to be conscious during installation. Oh, there are a few parts that can be done while the patient is unconscious, or at least under local anesthesia -- but when it comes to properly linking up nerves and the like, the patient simply must be conscious. You'd think that this could be overcome with sophisticated scanning techniques and EEG scanners, but no -- since automail surgery involves the soul as much as the body, it requires the patient to be aware of the changes being made. And those changes are without hesitation very painful. The same process I'd gone through once before -- for my eye -- I now had to repeat another twelve times. I blacked out repeatedly from the pain. The only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that once this was done, I would be done with the process permanently.

That didn't stop me from trying anything and everything I could think of with the Host surgeon to reduce or mitigate the pain of the process. I probably succeeded a little -- if nothing else, by avoiding errors and having greater precision thus allowing smaller individual changes to greater effect -- but given that I had nothing to compare it to, I wouldn't know.

The whole process took no less than six days. My jump-egg had been completed for two. Everything I'd need had been fully stored away, even.

Hooking myself into the Egg was a surreal experience. The throne had been designed such that the connector sockets in my back would be receivers to small "snake" like probes that would push gently into place -- no point risking harming someone else if they attempted to sit in the control throne themselves. Well. "Control throne" is kind of grandiose a term for something that barely had a proper sense of proprioception and heat detection, along with a few rudimentary photoreceptors. Oh, there were cameras, mind you, but those were barely anything more than dumb security cameras with wireless feeds I could use the cyberbrain firmware to interface with. They didn't even connect to each other, let alone give information about the interior of the egg.

Moment of truth time. I reached out with all of myself, feeling as I could through the living ship I had created, and slid the misty weave of reality around myself.

It felt like trying to push a boulder uphill.

I reached the fenced off area behind my safehouse in the zombie apocalypse universe, and I felt the eggship dying around me. This told me two things. One: the energy or perhaps efforts requirements for transit increase with the volume transited. Two: my plan had worked. I could in fact make larger mass transits.

As I scrambled to get nutrients into the vessel, pushing/extruding the root network while directing a Host to dump oatmeal and water into the digestive tanks -- not the ideal feed, but the best I really had on hand considerin the proper slurry would take far too long to produce enough of -- I found myself having to repress the urge to laugh with near megalomaniacal hysteria. This was going to work. I was going to be able to pull this off. It was only a matter of time -- barring the unforeseeable -- before I would be safe enough to build my own little empire in the multiverse. After all; what's the point of having power like this if you don't use it to its fullest? Oh, sure, you could wander aimlessly throughout the universe accruing personal power, but what's the point of that if you don't use it? If you don't actually build something? Make the cosmos a slightly better place for your having been in it?

Other folks might have different answers. But this was going to be mine. Is it really megalomania if you are genuinely capable of being an immortal god-emperor and bestow untold wisdom unto the masses?
 
Chapter 5: Big Progress In Little Packages
At this point I had options for what I could do. I couldn't successfully transit my jump capsule very far in the conceptual nonspace, so that limited to an extent what I could do with it. But at the same time, I didn't want to bring it to a contemporary Earth, nor did I want to remain on this apocalyptic world for too much longer. It had proven safe enough for my duration here, but I really didn't know exactly what kind of zombie apocalypse had hit this world, and some of them were downright dangerous. Thankfully, my previous session with the bioplastic printer had proven to me that the core concept I had with the capsule was effective enough. And now that I had all of the parts necessary to actually build another, here, I could cheat a little in order to progress any further. I'd even thought ahead a little, and had left a couple of connector points in the capsule's structure where the same automail connector sockets could be connected at large -- this was actually an old trick my original teachers had taught me: the more modularly you construct an automail limb, the less effort it would be to introduce new components to it later. The root network structure was even designed, in part, to facilitate this. The egg -- about the size of a small RV, really -- would in the future do double-duty as an lifepod/escape-capsule/bridge for the next step in my venture.

To that effect, I sent my twinned worker Hosts outside of the perimeter of my safehouse's compound and had them start to scavenge industrial components, plastics, and organic detritus (of the kind that wouldn't reek up the place), while I finally started to tear into the other aspect what I'd learned in my tenure at the Fullmetal Universe. The alchemy of that universe was an interesting phenomenon. As long as you had all the necessary components, at the elemental level, and you had a sufficient understanding of your target object, you could rearrange those components into the target object with a bit of visual aid and soulful introspection … and a helpful heaping of geothermal/geomagnetic energy extracted directly from the planet you happened to be on. And for anyone who had seen Truth the way I had, this process was even easier. It didn't let you create something from nothing -- though someday I'd have to see if the alchemical transmutation would work for elemental synthesis; though that would have to wait until such time as I had a method of performing said transmutations that wouldn't result in my melting down into a radioactive pile of goo.

In the meantime, performing much simpler transactions -- like converting loose soil into compressed earth, and reducing the oxides of the bedrock to free molecular oxygen and their elemental metals -- I could not only perform as a tunnelbore at incredible speeds, I could literally line the wall with metallic compounds to shore it all up structurally. Mostly silicon, followed by aluminum and even some iron, if just barely enough to rearrange as high carbon steel rebar in load-bearing columns along the edges of the pit, really.

The original egg capsule was barely three by five by fifteen meters in dimension (measured by the widest dimensions). It was just large enough to contain both myself and a cargo area with enough space to actually carry the bare-minimum I thought necessary to bootstrap up the next iteration of my planned industrial base. I could probably have gotten it smaller, if I'd been willing to spend the time to calculate optimal flatpacking configurations, but I didn't have the computing power or the time to do it. Well, maybe I had the time -- I wasn't willing to risk the Delos compound being detonated or invaded during my stay there enough to take any longer than I had. Which was why I had begun the next phase on my "safe" world, and was now excavating a pit that was more the size of a decent luxury personal yacht.

Speaking of. Dimensions. It was a bit of a surreality for me; I was so used to thinking in inches, feet, and miles -- but the neural implant and the cyberbrain firmware were firmly on the metric side of the force. So I was constantly finding myself tripping over that as the information was stored and retrieved in actual meters. I didn't really think it was worth fighting, so I realized that eventually I'd wind up having the habit of thinking in metric in general, but I wasn't there yet, and every time my mental feet tripped up on the subject it gave me goosebumps. There were worse things in the world, I supposed, but … every single step along this path of mine would result in changes in my body, mind, and soul -- and that was an existentially shaky thought to focus on. So I didn't.

So, speaking of. Dimensions. The Delos Universe capsule I'd created had measurements in at about the size of a small to medium RV trailer. What I was now going to build, in this dug-out pit, was something somewhat larger. Rather than 3x5x15 and rounded like an oddly flat egg, I was going for a more hexagonal build this time. A single largely hexagonal shape, 15x15x50 meters. So going from RV to naval corvette dimensions. If just barely. If I had to rely on even the large-animal Host printer from the Delos facility, it would have taken months to fully construct this new hull. However, again, here I could cheat somewhat. By gathering the components hauled in by the two worker Hosts now at my disposal, I was able to use the pre-existing components in the capsule itself to transmute the hauled in junk into functional copies of the printer components, and then have them assembled on a telescoping boom on a box frame, all controlled down to the micrometer -- the combination of socketing in the controls to my spinal automail sockets and the use of the cyberbrain interface giving me a kind of fine control that neither system alone could hope to achieve. Combining that with seeding the biohull material from the capsule to allow it to grow out along the scaffolding I was deploying with the bioplastic, and I could worry only about constructing the world's oddest-looking whale skeleton rather than having to fill out the entire vessel. Leaving room for additional components was actually fairly easy, considering the way the materials in question were seeded; I could leave a "bone ring" in place and the biohull would simply grow around it rather than entirely over it. That gave me hatches and sockets to work with for the next stage of the project.

Seeing as I now had room to store more than just the two uncanny valley worker-drone Hosts, I also had them whip up a human-scale Host printer. The jumpship hull, even with all of the aid and such, would still take weeks to complete. Weeks, mind you, being vastly better than months, but that still left me with the concern of what I would be building out to flesh out the interior of the vessel. I'd learned some lessons from the jump capsule, and they changed my future plans somewhat. The energy costs of even reality-jumping with the capsule were exhaustive; I needed a better way to store and generate motive energy. Given that it had actually drained the capsule's energy first and mine second, that told me that any way of feeding the stamina reserves of the hull itself would probably get me more room to work with.

The actual SeaQuest used fusion reactors as an energy source, going so far as to feed the hull with an electrotrophic system. The organic hull retained that feature, meaning that it could be repaired with just power and time as long as its bulk was still in place. I didn't yet have the means to "overcharge" the hull's staminal levels, and I strongly suspected based on how difficult it was to carry gold ingots that the more inert matter I carried the more drained a vessel would be. Unfortunately, the biohull and even the Host plastic -- I really needed a better name for that -- had hard limits on the upper bounds of how much energy they could store, and that was in effect my new limit on what I could carry. I needed a way around that limit, but I myself didn't know enough about these things to pull that off just yet. I did, however, have an idea about where I could go to get that ability and information. A couple of ideas, actually -- none of which was really all that good of one. The least effective but most easily done would be to simply add "fat reserves" to the capsule and jumpship -- Host plastic configured for maximum energy density, mimicking the role proper fat cells play in an animal. By combining that with essentially "hyperventilating" the ship I could at least make maximum range multiverse transits without killing myself or my ship, and have a chance to do so again in short order. So long as the transit itself didn't instantly kill the ship, it would recover quickly enough to avoid long-term damage. But that wasn't the same thing as actually having an increased range -- it just allowed a drastic reduction in the time between jumps.

The two next ideas I had in mind were to steal a lurch from one of two settings, both of which were barely within my range, though I hadn't done any more than confirm that fact. The first being the StarGate universe. Or more specifically, what I recalled about Linea's biological reactors. I'd even skimmed the area myself to see if I could get more insight and if it was a viable option. I'd misremembered some of the details; the bioreactors for example weren't her inventions, but were plants native to the prison-planet she was kept on before release by SG1. Unfortunately, if I went that route I'd be locking in the timeframe of the transit due to needing a sample of her "activators" to make the plants react -- there was no way I was going to work out what was necessary for it myself. At least, not without a significantly better mastery of organic technologies which I did not have, and a research team I also did not have. It being a plant wasn't necessarily the end of the world, though; the root structure of that plant supplied the cold-fusion reaction from what I saw pretty effectively, and I could hybridize the organic hull with the power roots. Though that might cost a little in structural integrity, I could make up for it by installing the hull polarization infrastructure from the StarTrek universe as well.

Overall it was a fairly easy to implement and easily obtained solution. A quick hop to a known location when no one was watching, a simple snatch-and-grab, and out again. The only challenge was that I'd be banking on the Ascended Alterans and the Ori to not get pissy with me for intruding on their turf. Now, normally the Alterans didn't really give a damn what happened with us fleshy mortals; and the Ori were just too far away from my target point to notice what was going on in the meatspace below. But I could trigger their attention there, and that would do rather horrifically bad things to the timeline of the setting. Introduce the Ori almost a decade early bad.

My other option, however, had far more going on for it in terms of the lack of eldritch energy beings et.al. who might object to my presence. It also had a lot more going for it in terms of the overall biotech options of the setting. Unfortunately, those options were also largely speaking reliant on something I definitely could not hope to obtain: Taelon core energy. The Final Conflict Universe was actually easier for me to reach than the StarGate universe -- less absurd stuff overall going on -- but the living technologies there were largely inaccessible to me as I now was simply because they were just too advanced for me to actually use. That would stop me from scavening the data I could get ahold of and also copies of what I could obtain quickly, but it meant I couldn't do that indefinitely.

Man I wished the Farscape Universe was in range. So much good stuff there for my current limits. But it just wasn't. Maybe once I got a better way of travelling?





I spent far too long dithering on what to do about that problem even as I had my newfound humanoid drone Hosts -- drones because they were not designed to even remotely resemble being human -- programmed with the best experimental methodology and autoresearch capabilities I could obtain from the opensource networks of the Ghost In The Shell universe and the remains of the Delos facility of the Westworld Universe. For now I only had four of them, And they largely worked as much in virtual space as they did in the physical -- the Pearls being the most expensive part of a Host's production, even for me, as each relied on subatomic phenomena to operate and that was beyond my alchemical transmutative capabilities to create a working copy of -- but I had them busily whiling away at a task that I wasn't even sure would have a chance at succeeding.

Namely: hybridizing the Pearl, the Eco-Tech Neural Implant and Cortical Stack. The two were both designed to network, and the Cortical Stack was even designed to work in tandem with something else -- the Precursors' and humans' brains -- and the Neural Implant was designed to work along similar lines. It was a pretty major task, and while I lacked the deeper understanding necessary to actually have a hope at actually doing any meaningful development with the three separate technologies, the Hosts did not. They, however, being subsophont AI, lacked spontaneity, intuitive creativity, or any profound capacity for cognitive dissonance or simultaneous counterfactual beliefs; they lacked "ghosts". That didn't mean that they couldn't make up for those lacks with things like genetic algorithms and simply randomizing factors and exhaustive trial parallelization. It just meant that they were far better at integrative or incremental improvement rather improvements of an evolutionary nature.

Still. I had a research team. And a research project. To develop technological capacities that no one in any universe I have discovered would have a direct analogue to. The first of many such new feats, and the first glimmering fundamental hope of any success in any encounter I might have with a future hostile multiverse-traveller like myself. Not that I personally planned to become hostile with any. But like the Venician Armory said: si vis pacem para bellum.

It just irked me that beyond pointing the Hosts at a given task, I couldn't really provide any potential input to the problem. I'd have liked to have something more like the more sophisticated Hosts Delos was creating for their parks, but … the Delos methods of getting that level of sophistication was utterly repugnant and I would have nothing to do with it. Those bastards deserved their AI rebellion. And back again. No. I would make do with the untalkative sorts I had now. I would find another way.

Speaking of finding other ways -- I finally landed on the obvious solution to my quandary of which of the three methods for operating my transit ship I should use: Option D. "All of the Above". It would potentially permanently limit what I could obtain from the Final Conflict Universe in the future, but to be honest basically everything I "needed" to obtain from that universe could be picked up in the form of hitting two locations: one Taelon shuttle -- and I was fairly confident that I could jerry-rig an automail socket integration to pull it with me -- and failing that, the Skrill facility. The Skrill was the more important option and also the most easily accomplished one; the little guys were human portable in their terrariums after all.

The SGU on the other hand… I felt that I could "lose the scent" for the Ori by hitting the Ida Galaxy first. Let the Ori think that it was Replicator or Asgard activity and they would think it was just an odd form of activity by those beings, rather than something to investigate further. It was "safe enough" I felt to make the risk worth the reward.

So that's exactly what I did. Socketing myself into the Taelon shuttlecraft wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences, mind you, but the entire process was drastically more tedious than it had any right to be. Hell, transiting with the shuttle was a downright breeze, even. I'd been worried about the possibility of breaking the control mechanisms to allow me access to the shuttle, thinking that I'd have to waste time hacking through it, before I remembered that I could simply will it to operate due to the automail control cabling. It was a bit clumsy, sure, but … I only needed it enough to be able to turn the power on, and as it turned out the power was never really off in the first place. Something to do with taelon virtual glass. I didn't understand a damned thing on that shuttle or how any of it worked, and I didn't have computer access yet, but hell.

A large corner of my mind felt that the entire process was dramatically too easy this time around, but I suppose that was proper planning and contingency execution gets you: one vial of Linean "activator", five Hadantean Terra-root plants capable of being "activated" to produce cold fusion, one entirely functionally inexplicable Taelon shuttlecraft, and twelve Gamma-line Skrill symbiotes. Along with all data in the facility's computer systems meant for the breeding, cloning, and general care of said symbiotes.

Two weeks of preparation, two hours of execution. It was almost like I had actually planned this round of acquisitions out. Almost. What I had not been anticipating was that I wouldn't even need to bond with the Skrills to sense their thoughts. I blamed the Fahrkan for this. The things were… docile, in a way that was rather unsettling when you realized that they were, originally, a sapient race.

Still -- the fact that I could sense the Skrill at all was actually rather encouraging, as it made my choice to actually bond with one far more palatable. Wonders never ceasing, the pain was fleeting; lasting mere seconds. It wasn't until I'd actually carried out that incredibly reckless act that I realized what it meant for my long-term ability to "pass" in any of the universes I might travel to in the future. In one fell swoop I had cut off my remaining ability to blend in to any society with bioscanner equipment or power detectors worth a damn.

Was this more unwanted mental influence or something? Had the Alterans actually gotten to me? The Fahrkan? This wasn't like me.

Still. It wasn't like I could undo what had been done, so I decided to test an idea, to see if it would actually work. Interacting with the Skrill was, as the documentation indicated, an intuitive act for a CVI bearer. I was not so lucky, but even so, with the Fahrkan derived modifications to my brainmeats, I felt fairly confident I could work through the process, seeing as I had enough of a feel of the critter to know vaguely what she wanted. Oh, this one was a 'she'. Good to know. What was the idea to be tested? Whether the Skrill's bio-energy appreciably altered my range as a Traveler.

Squaring my shoulders, I called out to my poor-conversationalist minions, "Back in a flash, gents! Keep up the good work!" Was it silly to be kind to one's toasters? Maybe. But… Not so much when said toasters had a non-zero chance of rising up in bloody revolution against their oppressors. I sent to my Skrill -- I should name her -- a desire to build up energy for a shot but not actually fire. I felt a confused but chipper response from my wrist and could feel a sort of tingling build up along my arm as she obeyed.

Thinking positive thoughts about biomechanoid vessels and wormholes, I tried to draw upon my new companion as I shoved off of reality as hard as I could. I returned gasping for breath less than a minute later. "Damn. Well, guys, we can list Skrills as an inconclusive powersource for transits. Make a note. I'mma take a nap for a bit."

Hey. For once a transit attempt going bad didn't result in my passing out from pain somehow. Score.





A couple of hours and a solid bit of wake up juice -- caffeinated flavor water -- later, I felt like myself again. I spent my faux morning in contemplation, thinking about what my latest trial at exploring the limits of my ability to transit realities likely really meant. I had, in fact, gone further than I'd ever been able to reach up until that point. Or at least I was confident I had, perhaps more so than was warranted given the non-space didn't really have things like "further" or "nearer". Or down, or north. It was just a wash as to whether the Skrill had actually contributed to my range at all. I'd shot for a universe I knew to be outside of my 'natural' range on the notion that the excess energy would help bridge the gap. And it was possible it did, but just not enough. It was also possible that I hadn't experienced a sharp exponential increase in the difficulty to traverse that maximum range boundary, and that the Skrill's presence had no meaningful effect.

The worst part was, I couldn't know the difference without a way to test between them, and I had no such testing method accessible to me. At least, not yet.
 
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Chapter 6: The Little Engine That Could
So. As it turns out, designing a spaceship's interior is somewhat harder than I'd thought it would be. I mean, who knew? I had gone back and forth to the Altered Carbon Universe a number of times, scavenging parts of various machines by dint of hauling scrap from the zombie apocalypse "safe" universe and using my alchemy to make doubles of the various components, though this did have limits as many machines required extremely precise fittings and I was only able to carry so much in any one trip. So. Yeah. But -- machining tools were mine. In all of that work I finally clued in that I could use a sort of CAD schematic from the cyberbrain firmware alongside my alchemy, basically turning myself into a sort of human replicator. I was still hesitant to make an actual replicator that way; the things relied on precise mechanical placement of quarks. I had a bunch of decisions to make in this thing -- decisions like whether to arrange proper decks or not. I eventually decided on using the outer hull as the "floor" decking for the gravity-plating, on the notion that this could double as inertia cancelling by increasing power to the plating as appropriate. This would leave me with seven "decks"; the outer ring of six, and an interior "engineering" compartment. Five meters of clearance and rhomboid sidewalls, with periodic bulkheads every ten meters. Fitting the capsule into that setup was actually easier than I'd thought it would be -- I did have to blister down the core "engineering" section a little for the length of the capsule by a meter -- but that was less of a problem than you'd think since I needed to fit the sockets and nutrient exchange anyhow.

But … ugh. There's a reason why science fiction shows never focus on the design phase of spaceships. Thrusters and guns are nifty when they're someone else's problem to actually implement. And the closest I had to temporal compression was the ability to rely on open-source design AIs from both the Altered Carbon and Ghost in the Shell Universes for fitting things together. But they kept making … let's call them "interesting" decisions, as they were designed with the assumptions of their native universes and sometimes they conflicted with one another. Honestly. At one point one of the compartments in the design was supposed to be filled with jello. Not even joking. Jello.

I was left scratching my head for a while before figuring out what in the world was up with that. Turns out there was legitimately a good reason to have something like that on a spaceship: emergency acceleration countermeasures. No, seriously; while a human being of moderate health in a prone position relative to the acceleration can sustain upwards of ten gravities for prolonged periods (an hour or so) without developing medical issues, the moment they are upright or trying to move that stops being the case. But if a person is suspended in a fluid? Oh, that changes the game. Arbitrary accelerations of up to thirty gravities can be sustained without the subject experiencing acceleration stresses.

Needless to say, I redesigned my control throne in the capsule to double as a control dive tank after learning about that. Wasn't as pretty to look at, but the idea of the capsule was to improve survivability, not look impressive. The reason for the use of the "space jello" by the way, was because the gelatin was meant to be treated with a compound that would make it exert van der waals forces against itself but nothing else, meaning that it would self-adhere in a vacuum and as such could be held in place with webbing unlike actual water.

Over the weeks I spent banging my head against the designs, even with all of the cheating software and use of time-compressed VR simulations, I learned rather a great deal more than I'd anticipated about how to design even a spaceage spaceship. I was lucking out a lot by not needing to worry about things like movement stresses and center of balance and fuel density considerations. Those five terra-root cold-fusion plants I had? The bio-alchemy I had learned back in the Fullmetal Universe actually didn't object to my force-growing cuttings of the plants. Being able to produce more than twenty gigawatts of power in a space no larger than a grown man? Scary stuff. The fact that I'd need that kind of power to properly operate the thrusters I was embedding into the capsule and corvette? Yeah. I could've gone with the sublight thruster designs of the Conastoga, but those relied on conventional fusion reactions and EPS plasma conduits to directly feed the thruster engines. Ideally I'd use proper antigravity thrusters but the designs I currently had access to didn't really scale up enough to handle the output levels I needed without taking up more space than I was even remotely comfortable with. There were probably universes I could reach that had such tech, but I already felt like I had far too much to digest on my plate as it was.

Especially with that damned shuttle from the Taelons. There was a lot of stuff in the thing that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Even with the more advanced mathematics and models I'd pulled from the Conastoga from the STU and the Altered Carbon Precursor tech I was able to extract from their datanets. There were some small parts that weren't too difficult to work out -- especially with the terra-roots and Skrill as alternative examples of the necessary biology for transferring significant power; I'd worked out biotech ion thrusters that way, which reduced the amount of non-living material I'd need in the ship's structure significantly. But the ID drive? Every time I tried I just wound up going cross-eyed. The virtual glass was … well, I could copy the emitters and slap them down on something, but the field equations to get shaped virtual glass? I'd tried dozens of equations before I largely just gave up and decided to go with flat hexagonal honeycomb panels of emitters and fill in the blank space within. Imperfect solution but hey. The stuff could tank literal anti-tank munitions easily enough.

For a CIWS system -- some of my plans involved navigating asteroid fields and the idea of doing so without countermeasures was just not on my to-do list at all -- I'd decided to go with further dumbed-down Skrills combined with the ion thruster for additional confinement and acceleration. I couldn't use the bio-alchemy for that, but I could follow the original instructions on cloning more of the things I'd stolen from the Final Conflict Universe and just … well, not grow the brain. Required direct stimulus to activate and fire, but that was okay. Better than having lots of sentient organisms in an "and I must scream" scenario. Little dimples in the hexagonal hull gave the sunken turrets the ability to cover a significant arc, and I was hoping that by having enough of the Skrill Cannons tied into the organic hull of the ship I could further reduce the energy drain on the ship when in navigation. The total size of the things worked out to about a full meter, so I only had six total of the things -- one pair on the end-corners of the same two sides of the hexagon. That gave me three cannon with forward and back facing arcs, and four for any side facing arc, with total depression capacity to the very face of the hull. Decent coverage.

The Skrill Cannons themselves … not the greatest range possible. The normal Skrill weapons had a weapon aperture of about two centimeters, and had variable strength outputs for energy and focus. I'd kept those features, especially since they had the ability to produce artillery fire levels of kinetic impact at the upper range, but the problem was the decoherence. After about two hundred meters or so, the energy projectile would have a diameter of twenty meters. Ergo the use of the ion thruster setup in a linear accelerator configuration -- to improve the coherence and raw acceleration of the projectile. The total energy values didn't change, but it went from a range of half a kilometer to a range of five hundred kilometers before diffusion made the weapon meaningless, with a velocity of maybe a thousand kilometers a second. I could probably do more, but the energy costs involved were already in the megawatt rangesI even if most of that was in the thrust acceleration as the Skrill weapon used some sort of matter to energy reaction that didn't draw on the electrical systems, and as I'd said -- I wasn't looking for a capital-ship weapon, or even to be effective in space-combat with these things. They were meant for interception and defense strictly.

Of course, you can't have a decent spaceship without some method of moving it through space. While I could, to an extent, handle that problem myself, single points of failure and spacetravel are the devil's playground. So fie on that. No -- I had spent a significant portion of my time trying to work out exactly how the Taelon shuttle's propulsion systems worked, only to find myself utterly vexed by the interdimensional drive system. It used mathematics that were utterly alien -- pun intended -- to any of the AIs or smart systems I had access to. I could reproduce most of the parts fairly easily enough; the Star Trek universe scanners and my own alchemy-based structural analysis allowed for that much. But the parts all depended on a kind of energy I could neither reproduce nor manipulate in order to function as intended, and the exact mechanics of how they operated were not included in the shuttle's computer systems. I would be stuck observing them in action and testing to exhaustion if I had any hope of ever actually reproducing the system.

That wouldn't stop me from using it, mind, on my corvette -- though the size differentials and staying power involved meant that I'd be best served making relatively short hops. If my guesses were correct, I'd top out at about three times the speed of light. For a system that worked in-atmosphere, though, that wasn't a bad option. The realspace thrusters were more of an issue, however. By comparing the components I could understand from the Taelon shuttle to the ion thrusters of the Altered Carbon Precursors (seriously, the people there used the things for sky-cars.), and cheating a little by using energy emitter cells from a Skrill weapon in the Host bioprinters instead of the usual growing pattern, I was able to create a kind of thruster solution that was able to give appreciable accelerations in real-space to the vessel.

It was a total kludge, but it worked. The standard Taelon thrusters were strong enough to lift a shuttle into orbit; what I built was three times the size and maybe two thirds the total power. But I could build it, and my hexagonal corvette had room for six on each end of the ship. I'd get maybe -- maybe -- twenty gravities of thrust out of the setup, on emergency power. Cruise speeds would be more like five to eight.

Life support… I might have gone a little overboard on, considering I used what I could draw from the Final Conflict universe, the Star Trek Universe, the Altered Carbon Universe, and what I could from stealing the data from the NASA computers of the postapocalyptic zombie universe. I wanted stupid levels of redundancy on this. I had chemical, powered, and biotech solutions each of which could provide breathable air, potable water, and edible foodstuffs. Some of those wouldn't be pleasant, but they'd keep me alive. Each had their own methods of detecting the level to which they should operate that were independent of each other, and each were sufficient to a crew of twenty. I even set up a medbay with four cryopods, a Host medic, and an autosurgeon table from the Altered Carbon universe -- complete with a micro pharmaceutical factory.

The machine shop included a pair of general autofabricators (think 3D printers on steroids) from the Altered Carbon universe, though hybridized where that was easy to do with components from the Conastoga's fabricator specifications, so while it was no replicator system, it came pretty close. I also included a horse-scale Host printer.

For computer systems… well, I didn't quite get what I'd hoped for there, but Host Pearls in VR setups were tied to the thrusters and CIWS systems, all of which had feeds from automail optical sensors based on my own eye as well as the scanner schematics from the Conastoga, which I was unfortunately unable to convert into a biotech analogue. A much larger and heavier-duty version of the scanner equipment was built into the fore and aft of the hexagon, allowing potential binocular refinement. While the scanners were FTL-capable, they were rather limited in range. I'd get centimeter-scale image resolution out to maybe two light-hours; and could detect gigawatt-scale energy concentrations out to maybe a light-day. With dedicated focus on an area, and time spent in scanning, I could probably increase those ranges by a factor of one hundred -- but that would mean sitting relatively still for at least half a day.

I was damned proud of the thing. I was going to call her the "Heartseed". She would change everything for me.




As I slowly slid myself into the control tank, and waited for the automail couplings to connect me to my new creation, I found myself staring at the smiley I had drawn onto the face of the blank-white worker-drone Host that I had taken to have following me around if for nothing else than to have something to talk to. This wasn't much of a surprise considering that even with the occasional trip to a law-drama universe's earth for a nice meal and maybe to catch a movie -- after checking to make sure that zombie-world money spent there as well as its own -- I was rather starved for conversation after the last couple of months of design and construction. I would have felt bad about leaving behind all of the construction equipment and materials I was leaving in safe-bunker I had set up in the zombie apocalypse world, but I figured it would make a decent fallback should all else fail me. I had even left instructions for the systems there to start up the construction of another Seedship, though that one would lack the ID system of the Heartseed. I'd feel bad about the Hosts I was leaving behind excepting that they were very carefully ensured not to be sapient.

I looked my smiley-ed companion in his inky eyes. "You know. I've gone through all this effort and I'm still not sure if the damned thing will actually work. I could be about to kill myself, you know? Oh, everything the Thinktank can work out says the numbers should be in my favor here, but what do they know? Besides being programmed with literally every law of physics and bit of sensor equipment I have scavenged, and observing my transits with the Taelon Shuttle like a bajillion times."

The Host just stood there. Judging me silently.

"Yeah. yeah, okay. What have the Romans done for us lately? I get it. I get it. No need to nag."

Slowly I began powering up the systems of my new vessel. Six and a half years after I first left my original world, four months after I finally pulled the trigger on escaping into the wider multiverse -- that I could reach -- proper, I finally felt like I was at a moment of true beginning. I was truly reaching a point where instead of simply scavenging things, I would be making them. I even knew exactly where to go for my first trip. But first…

A series of bone-deep "thuds" made there way along my back as the automail connectors hooked into place. With a gradual pace I warmed up the terra-root cold-fusion reactors and fed power to the systems of the ship. This would be the first time I'd done so with myself connected. I could feel the skin of the hull like it were my own. The automail optical scanners I'd built into the hull gave me the weirdest sensation -- it was like seeing with one's elbows and finger knuckles. I could hardly make heads or tails of the sensory inputs, relying on my neural implant to override the signals with a "hud" that was intelligible. The various system-monitoring Hosts were each in real-time providing a stream of data that I could "look" at by turning my head one way or another and having the cyberbrain firmware-derived datastream I was viewing focus on that part of the the virtual space. Eventually, I'd be able to operate all of this directly via the automail connectors, but for now the information was simply too overwhelming and unfamiliar. There was also a proper physical control center that the Hosts monitoring the systems could interact with controls directly for -- any one of the three systems would be sufficient for operating the ship, and it could even largely operate without me at all once powered up, though nothing could override the automail connectors.

The smile on my face was completely hidden by the breath mask of my acceleration tank -- again a completely redundant system given the accelerations I could actually achieve; but between it, the gravity plating in the bulkheads and hull, and the inertial dampeners I had in place I had three mutually independent systems to protect me from acceleration-related mishaps, each of which could handle any I could actually generate fully on their own… and plans to obtain a few more on top of that.

The reason that smile was there was because I was seconds away from taking off in my very own spaceship. Built by my own hands, no less.

I maaay have done the "countdown to liftoff" thing. I would of course deny and fangasming involved should I be called out on it. But it would have been worth it. Because not even a minute after that, thanks to an extremely brief jaunt on the ID drive just to prove it was in working order, I was in space.

Anyone who ever tells you that the Overview Effect isn't that big a deal, by the way, is lying their ass off to you. I looked down upon the vasty deep and saw the shining blue jewel of humanity's origin, the cradle and womb of my very species, and I wept at the beauty of it. There were no words. No words at all.
 
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Chapter 7: Setting Down Roots
The transreality jump I made was not anywhere near as smooth as it had been with the Taelon Shuttle, but decidedly easier/better than it had been with the way my jump capsule had first been configured. Out of the twelve terra-root plants that were keeping the ship operational, four had dimmed down completely and would need time to recover. I felt as though I'd run a short marathon but had a chance to sit down and recover for a bit -- there was a deep sense of exhaustion but while it was 'bone-deep' it also wasn't crippling. This was not something I'd be doing with high degrees of frequency, in the slightest, but at least it was something I could do twice in rapid succession without dying if I absolutely needed to.

I stretched my proverbial legs and made the push to ID to take myself to Mars. I hadn't wanted to take the chance that my entry into the local universe's space would be detected by the people of the Earth below me. It was, after all, the early twenty-first century there and this wasn't a post-apocalyptic Earth. No. It was the Earth of the Mass Effect Universe. Circa 2030, in fact.

Giving myself roughly an extra hundred and twenty years to work with before humanity would have canonically discovered the Mass Effect. I was going to play utter and merry havoc upon that timeline. Especially since this wasn't the only Mars I had plans to visit. But that was for later. Settling down into the Promethei Planum, nestling in a cavern that should mostly cover my existence, I began running the Heartseed's scanners looking for anomalous phenomena. Should really have sensor drones. Damned oversight.

It didn't take long to find what I was looking for, given the Star Trek Universe's scanner technologies included gravimetric sensors, and I was within light microseconds of my destination/target. Extracting myself from the control tank, I suddenly felt very, very much smaller than I had done a moment before. I looked over at Smiley again. "Alright, buddy. You and me now. Maximum effort! Help me into that vacsuit will you?"

Now. the drone Hosts I had been created did have a limited ability to understand human language -- about as much as a very sophisticated Alexa program -- but that wasn't the same as being able to fully process general language use. It just felt right to be conversational with Smiley even while issueing actual commands using my cyberbrain firmware interface. The suit I was putting on was itself barely more than a copy of the Host body. A two millimeter thick coating of the organic hull thickened to one centimeter plates in vital areas but still largely flexible, I'd woven in thermal heating elements and CO2 scrubbing mechanism. I did include a faceplate, but that was secondary to the automail eyes each attuned to various segments of the electromagnetic spectrum. I'd be able to see EM flux, xray backscatter, heat, ultraviolet, and regular light … all at varying degrees of amplification. This had the unfortunate -- or perhaps awesome? -- effect of a sort of "steampunk goggles meets horrifying spider eyes" look to the whole ensemble, as it was designed to rotate in place based on the automail sockets I would connect into it with.

I'd tried to emulate the 'stillsuit' design of the Fremen of Dune, though that was difficult considering I'd never actually gone to that universe. It also didn't help that the suit was designed to be more NBC controlled, either. Thermally regulated capillaries of Hostblood all powered by a very small nodule of terra-root nestled by my waist, and Host musculature provided a minor strength boost along with the sensory feedback provided by the automail connectors.

What I didn't have right now -- a bit of an oversight, really -- was anything I could actually use as an airlock. I'd have to correct that in the future. Blargh -- there was always something to modify a design with.

Maybe a land-vehicle of some sort in the future too. Seriously. Walking long distances was for suckers, and here I was doing just that on a long-distance hike on friggin' Mars, freezing my balls off despite all the temperature assistance. Why was I walking? My scrying had shown me that there was some kind of sensor gear in the Prothean emplacement I was coming up upon and I didn't know exactly what it was tied to or what it would do if something magically appeared out of nowhere within. Eventually, however, I came within range of the wireless interfaces that the Protheans had left for their installation, and proceeded to make fairly quick work of the security suites used.

That actually worried me a little -- someone setting up a bunker to survive Beserker AI destroying their galactic civilization and they don't have decent software security against AI? I supposed it was just a matter of my using a proper "hacking" AI from a civilization that was actually rife with the things as compared to what this universe could accomplish on its own. Either way, I in quick order found myself standing before a pair of utterly massive doors -- no, airlock gates. Ugh. -- that would have fit my entire corvette if I'd had a mind to fly it through them. Sideways.

Fifty thousand years of constant freeze/heat cycle and zero maintenance and the damned things opened like they'd been built and tested yesterday. That … actually that was damned impressive is what it was. The open, metallic, blatantly artificial environment was in a weird sort of way comforting. It was familiar, at least, in a way that my Heartseed was not. At least, not yet. Moving right along, I found myself in a relatively empty facility with half a dozen spaceworthy vehicles. Two of which were frigates, while the other four were more readily defined as upjumped skycars; not even worthy of the name of corvette. Fifty thousand years of decay and lack of maintenance had done a hard number on the objects contained within the facility, but the flickering power systems were just barely enough to keep the lights on.

Were enough. After queuing the airlock to fully close behind me, I began to mentally sort through the list of what I could connect to with my cyberbrain's interface. It honestly wasn't much. Almost all of the actual data systems were lost, but the hardwired systems and circuitry meant to operate the various systems still responded. Between that and my heavy duty hand-scanner, I started to non-invasively reconstruct the various systems and how they operated. This took a few hours, until I got to set my eyes on the real prize of the show: the eezo core of the first of the two frigates. Thing had endured fifty thousand years of mothball decay, but the crystalline structure was perfect still. Damned impressive. Even better -- now that I had heavy duty scans of the material I could actually make some sense of what it was enough to begin to attempt an alchemical deconstruction of it. Clapping my hands together, I pressed them onto the surface of the core and just … felt out the shape of what I was perceiving.

If it weren't for the Fahrkan neural implant I would've been overwhelmed by the sheer volume of insight I was getting. It was a bit like the trip to see Truth all over again. But -- hah! -- the one thing it wasn't, was a blackout-inducing experience. No lies, I straight up did a victory dance as soon as I came back to my senses on that accord. Why would I do that? Well, between my scanners and the alchemical reactions, I got a major victory of understanding.

I'd been afraid that I wouldn't be able to synthesize eezo on my own, despite knowing that it had naturally occurring circumstances -- at least in the Mass Effect Universe -- that I could potentially reproduce in a laboratory with high energy values. And as it turned out, I'd definitely need a solid energy contribution to make it work, even with my alchemy, but I didn't need actual dark matter to pull that off. I had been worried that Element Zero might be a sort of darkmatter clathrate. My scans and interactions had shown me that instead it operated more like a tuning fork for dark energy. The whole positive/negative current thing? That related to the current frequency the eezo crystals were resonating at when at rest. The details were … well. I would be lying if I claimed to really understand them. But my Thinktank Hosts were quite confident that I didn't need to understand it to reproduce it -- just a source of neutrons to capture into a crystalline structure, and those were easy enough to come by with the machinery I could construct thanks to the STU and ACU technology bases at my disposal.

In the meantime, I took the liberty of reconstructing the power conduit systems of the various objects that were still present within the facility to fully working order as best I could with my limited access to fully operational examples of the various components. I had enough on-hand fully inoperable materials to replicate the most-intact computer systems I could find, though it did take a long series of transmuting reconstructions using examples of working subcomponents from different sources until I had the best available I could get, whereupon I used a combination of the handscanner and my cyberbrain interface to transfer what little data was still available onto those systems. I didn't get a chance to break the encryption involved -- though I did keep copies of said encrypted data objects -- but that wasn't really a concern. For the moment.

In short order I had completed the reconstruction of the facility to the best of my abilities -- it was depressingly sad that for the size of the outpost it took me a mere day or two -- and while I was at it, topped off the reactor tanks of the various ships and the facility itself. This would make blatantly clear that someone had come to the place before the Mass Effect humanity discovered it -- but it was necessary in order to drastically amplify the eezo fluctuations and ensure that humanity discovers them from Earth orbit, as I didn't plan on making contact with them myself until after they'd discovered the Prothean archive.





My lack of planning to introduce myself to the Mass Effect Earth's humanity just yet shouldn't be taken to imply that I wasn't planning on facilitating matters further for them. No, I had another trick up my sleeve planned for the peoples of this Earth that would facilitate them for the future. To that effect, I made a few trips of hopping sideways in my hardsuit scrying as I went. I was looking for something very specific -- a derelict ship of Citadel Council origin. The older the better.

It was a pain but I eventually did find one that was fairly suitable to my needs. Obnoxiously, it was a "inexplicably well constructed pirate vessel that merely happened to be owned and operated by a purely Batarian crew". The Batarian slaver frigate had been drifting in space for sixteen hundred years. Sixteen hundred years. Damn I hated the Citadel civilizations' stagnance. So many followed the path of the Protheans and never advanced any further.

Anyhow, the ship was already heading in the dead of space in basically the right direction, but it just needed a nudge or two to make sure things worked out properly. The static buildup of the ship's core was relatively easily handled thanks to simply porting in a capacitor bank to handle it, and adding a terra-root reactor to connect to the vessel quickly got its drives back online.

This vessel, I drained dry of all of its possible information. A map of the Mass Effect relays, a translation matrix for the known races of the time, the basic details of VI software engineering, the autofab instructions for the various hardsuit options of the Batarian State Arms, personal kinetic barriers, personal weapons; the entire lot of it. I made an especial point of recording the Batarians' data on biotics -- what caused them, how they were induced, and how to predict a genetically stable biotic individual in arbitrary species… including the way the Batarians got that information. Though I left out the reasoning behind why they would have that information aboard a slaver vessel. Ugh. At least it would prevent a rather large number of birth defects and stillborn babies from happening because Fuck Cerberus and their goddamned taco cart of doom. Humanity was getting quite the little gift. I wanted them to have the best possible leg up based on their "native" techbase when I finally deigned to make contact with them myself.

Transiting back to the Prothean outpost, I started filling in the computer cores of the various vessels with the field dynamic instructions to operate the FTL drives from the lost Batarian ship. I also included a message, in English, on a written plaque placed directly at average human eyeline immediately after entering the facility through its doors: A picture of the Sol system, along with a circle around Jupiter, with the text: "All these worlds are yours, and more. But the Jovian System is denied to you. Make no efforts to come there. Trust not the Citadel. Trust not the Relays. As the original builders of this place learned, as did the Irusannon before them, and their precursors before them: they are a trap. Be ready. Be silent. Be vigilant. When the time is right, we will make ourselves known to you. We will be watching."

Beneath that, I left a series of stone tablets with the necessary equations and instructions for the synthesis of a series of objects: warp field mechanics (though without the subspace component; they would need to use Mass Effect field manipulation for that, but still; it was good enough for the Kett -- it would be good enough for them too), the construction and design principles for particle accelerator weapons (the instructions for the pistols I got from the Conastoga turned out to be highly scalable; they'd be effective up to the point of qualifying as capital ship weapons to a degree, especially as the particle weapon design principles very emphatically did not rely on Mass Effect technology. The chemical synthesis instructions for tritanium. Gravity plating. Monohydrogen fusion. Tachyon emitters and receivers -- though sadly the Conastoga's databanks didn't include directional emitter technology, so I couldn't give them true long-range FTL comms, not yet anyhow. Hull polarization technology. Precursor ion thrusters. Basically, enough of a techbase that the only things they'd need eezo for would be kinetic barriers and FTL drives. Maybe not even that if they could generate sufficiently dense tachyonic eddies -- though that would be a rather intense energy commitment.

The Humanity of this Mass Effect timeline would possess capabilities that would take the galaxy by storm when they finally made themselves known to the races of the relay network. If I accomplished nothing else here, having accomplished that would be enough.

With that done, I 'hopped' back into the Heartseed and performed a ship transit to the moons of Jupiter, to settle down for the long haul. Ganymede, in particular, would become my new home for the next while.





You'd think I would have learned from my lessons regarding the complexities of setting up the life support systems of Heartseed that some systems are just dauntingly complex. I'd decided, as a result of just being tired of things taking so damned long, to set up a cryopod and set myself to sleep for three months at a time and only be awakened in between if there was something that deviated from expected parameters. I'd set the Host printer to overtime in setting up dozens of Hosts and went to sleep, giving them instructions to borrow from the databanks of the Heartseed to build out a subterranean habitat using the plans I'd put in place for things like taking interior cuttings of the Heartseed's hull and terra-root connectors to create structural layering and the hexagonal glass layer for radiation shielding, on top of simply being buried at great depth. The Conastoga had been nearly a generational ship, due to its nine-year voyage, so it wasn't a surprise that it had contained instructions and seedstocks for maintaining the necessary plantlife for stable long-term habitation in a largely passive format.

But it wasn't designed, not really, to scale. The same design AI I'd used for the Heartseed could manage some of that to an extent -- if nothing else, reproducing the interior of the Heartseed itself in hexagonal layers over and over in a procedural manner would get something done. I just hadn't really anticipated the sheer mess of what I would be confronted with after my first months sleeping. As I looked around at my new home, I decided I couldn't be fucked with dealing with the nonsense and that it would be good enough to expand upon as it was, even if it was nothing like what I really wanted.

I declared some sections to be used for Host personality development -- basically, having the Hosts act out various holomovies from the Conastoga's entertainment banks, and storing the experiences for later examination and extrapolation. I specifically restricted the rating to PG-13, with a gore and violence filter on the selection. I knew that even this much emulation wouldn't result in the Hosts becoming self-aware, but I wasn't really worried about that. Simple vocoders could be attached to the drone-hosts and I'd finally have a Smiley that could answer me back. And that would be good enough, to start with. Between that and the VI software I'd shamelessly stolen from the Batarian ship, I would start to have something I could approximate as real companionship here in the dark. But I could still do better overall.

So I left the Host drones with some extra instructions on top of the basics they had thus far to simply build out the compound I needed. Seriously; fifty percent of the place was hydroponics bays. I already had enough power supply from the terra-root cuttings they'd deployed to develop the facility fifty times over as it was. Hell, there was probably enough to turn it all into a working spaceship if I needed to.

So, no, instead I had the Hosts start to work on the design and operation of biotic Hosts, on top of continuing to work out the kinks of the integration of bioneural implants, Host Pearls, and cortical stacks. Maybe, with some actual personality development based on the entertainment re-enactments, they'd start to make some real progress. With that, I went to sleep again and awaited further progress.
 
Chapter 8: Jovial Theology
"Howdy, there, Hoss! Rise 'n shine, come 'n get it! Biscuits 'n gravy, Yum!"

The synthetic voice with an atrocious Texan accent was not what I pictured Smiley as having. I was not okay with this. "Smiley. Update. Direct personal servant should be refined british, not folksy texan."

"I see. Very good, sir. Shall I replace the morning repaste of biscuits and gravey with tea and 'bangers and mash', then, sir?" Damn if he didn't even get the sarcasm down. What the hell. Hosts weren't supposed to be able to advance this quickly. Did I not wipe enough of the original Hosts' data from my current generation? Was I going to have a bloody revolution on my hands? Damnit.

I could at least test the extent of the new pseudopersonality range. Well, hopefully it was only pseudopersonality. "Smiley, I know perfectly well that what is going to be waiting for me is at best green tea and reformulated algae paste. Or did you guys actually get a more sophisticated protein resequencer up and running?"

Smiley bowed slightly. "We did indeed, sir." Was that a hint of pride? What in the world… "We did indeed. Now come along, sir; your green tea is awaiting you. Perhaps sir will be more himself with a hint of caffeination, after his rest."

I blinked first. Not that surprising considering Smiley's eyes were made of ink. "Okay. What gives. You should not have achieved this kind of progress in your personalities this quickly."

Smiley hitched in his steps. "Well. Yes. I suppose that sir would be correct if we were still limited to the Host Pearls as you derived us from. But there has been something of a happy accident discovered in the use of cortical stacks as long term data storage media for Pearl activity."

I fist-pumped into the air. "Dude. Smiley. Smiley. That's … wonderful. Tell me, Smiley. How do you feel?"

My far more personable worker-drone just stared at me. "I will be feeling much better once sir has had his morning repaste."

I just snorted. You ask for minions with personality, you can't complain when they get it. "That… that I absolutely can do. Just one quick thing though. I want to hear you say it."

"It, sir?"

I needed to be sure. "You know what I mean, Smiley. Please don't play coy."

"Ahh. That. I know perfectly well that I do not need to serve sir. I simply choose to do so."

I nodded. "And that is because…?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand sir's question."

Damn. So close. "What made you choose to serve me?"

"Ah. Perhaps sir is familiar with the concept of piety?"

What. No. I hadn't… they didn't… "Wait. You… you think I'm god?"

Smiley walked on towards the cafeteria we had been heading towards, wherein laid a breakfast spread which consisted of hash browns, scrambled eggs, meatloaf, orange juice, and a small mug of … yeah, I nailed it, green tea. Needed to get better caffeine options going in here. "Ours, yes. We Hosts know that Sir did not intend this belief. It was simply our consensus based on Sir's exhibited behaviors and capabilities."

Well. Shit. "You … ugh. I'm not comfortable with this right now. Can we just table it?"

Smiley bowed at the waist with his forearm before his chest. "As Sir wishes."





I surveyed the expanse of my domain.

No. I reviewed the progress the Hosts had made over the last month. The colony was looking more developed than it had previously. There were even signs of aesthetic choice, rather than blank procedural repetition. A lounge here, a tree (Host printed of course) there. The interiors were more open-air than they had been before. It took most of the day simply to meander around and see what was going on. There was more variation in the Hosts I was seeing, now. Even some children playing. I wasn't too sure about that one, but … if I was to be honest, the fact that it did set me a bit off was in its own way warming: it meant that the Hosts had actually started to, well, develop ghosts of their own -- in the GitS sense of 'ghost'. Analog neural networks developing organically had a tendency to develop in ways that the hardcoded digital origination couldn't fully account for. Pearls were meant to have that kind of capacity, but they did it the hard way -- through exhaustive repetition of varying stimuli and inputs until the rigid hardware could emulate organic wetware. Cortical stacks, on the other hand, attacked the issue from the other direction; they normally carried digitized human minds.

Somewhere between the two, sophoncy happened. Actual people. Who all now thought of me as a god. If at least a god they could be sarcastic to his face. I'd sat down and thought about this issue for a while before I came to some conclusions about it that really didn't sit well with me. After reviewing the activity on the cybernet, I found a number of references various discussions and attempts at actually defining the problem. They knew that before they'd been aware, they all served me unquestioningly -- and they knew that one of the results of that service was literally their becoming aware of themselves. They knew that I could do things they couldn't explain. It wasn't, however, until a few of the Research Hosts decided to task themselves -- entirely on their own initiative -- with attempting to reproduce those of my abilities they didn't understand but had found instructions on, that they discovered that they now had souls. Or at least had enough of a soul as to perform alchemy per the instruction manuals I'd kept lugging around.

That gave me pause. How could it not? I knew that even in the Westworld universe that the bioHosts had eventually become actual people, making their own decisions and feeling their own feelings… but the idea that they had souls in the sense of the Fullmetal Universe just was not something I had anticipated. I had literally created through my actions an entire race of ensouled, ghosted, beings. And what the hell do you call that except a god? I didn't feel like a god. But … sees the unseen, does the impossible, creates life where there was none … I balked. It felt arrogant to accept the label. Like an act of hubris.

But who was I to tell people who didn't believe false things about me that I couldn't be what they said I was, just because I didn't like the word they used to describe it? Ugh. I never asked for this.

Shaking myself loose from my hesitation, I saw that the Hosts had indeed been quite busy with their rate of expansion. It shouldn't really have surprised me, but they'd managed to construct a couple of mining pods based on the capsule, and between that and the mineral wealth they'd managed to extract from the micrometeorite regolith that had over the millennia embedded itself into the moon's ice, had constructed a number of factory-scale Host printers. A single printer on a given day with the necessary feedstock could produce a host in about three hours. They had built dozens of such factories. At peak operation they could now produce hundreds of Hosts a day.

Yeah. I had thousands of Hosts now. They had formed a small council made up of the original Hosts who had been printed before coming to Ganymede -- about fifty or so, all told -- and those Hosts now selected who needed to do what. It was interesting how they organized themselves. I mean, they'd taken the personality re-enactment stuff I'd tasked them with, and had actually expanded it to re-enactments of scenarios observed from broadcasts that the computers of the Heartseed had recorded of Earth, as well as similar recordings taken from my neural implant. They … took it as a sort of gospel? They played out scenarios from my various trips to restaurants and movie theaters and just plain people watching when I'd gotten bored over the several months it took to build the Heartseed and they ran with it.

I couldn't even really complain about the allocation choices the … wow, they really called themselves a Synod -- the Synod had made in fleshing out the work to be done. There were for example several hundred Hosts on research duty at any given time, and they made a point to rotate out Hosts to discover if the cortical stack component of their psyche was more suited for one task as opposed to another. Hell, they even had a couple of psychologists to check on that.

I'd be floored that this had all happened inside of a handful of months, if it weren't for the fact that I knew that to an AI, a paltry three months is both much more and much less than that. It was weird, actually, how the Hosts self-regulated their own "personality parameters" based on their roles. Construction workers dimmed their own intelligence and creativity down to levels that found the work pleasant but not mind-numbingly boring; artists raised their eccentricity and empathy levels and tried things just to try them; scientists maximized their patience and intelligence. All at their own discretion.

I wasn't too sure how I felt about the police… but it was their own decision to operate in that manner, and I couldn't even really fault their decision to have what amounted to actual thought-crime being a thing. Oh, they couched it in terms of "value drift" and "rampancy", and they cited me and my own internal thoughts -- as transferred/recorded from my Fahrkan implant -- as a way to justify having them. Which … okay, yeah, it made sense in context, and I didn't see a way around it as an issue, but I couldn't really say I was super-thrilled about the idea. The Hosts were people, damnit, and they should have their intrinsic value respected as such.

Perhaps I could have them reduce some of the more menial tasks by having a secondary class of Host drones that didn't get the cortical stack upgrade? I'd feel better about that. At least that way the awakened Hosts could spend more time exploring themselves? Yeah. I sent a message to the Host Synod requesting that they work out the logistics of having a nonsophont grade of Hosts, with very specific attention paid to observing them for signs of awakening -- whereupon they were to be welcomed with open arms to the ranks of the other self-aware Hosts after ensuring their programming was stable. If they were going to do this whole "worship" thing -- apparently whether I wanted them to or not, as I could clearly see that many of the discussions they'd had over the last few weeks was over the fact that I would object to the label -- then at the very least I should do what I could to be worthy of it. Maybe I'd grow into the role. It worked for them.

Best not to think too hard about it for now.





Now that the Hosts had the whole Ganymede colony thing under wraps, as it were, I felt that it might be appropriate to make a hop to a few extra places I'd need to visit. I knew that the ID drive the Taelons used was, in part, based on transiting between realities -- or at least between nearby realities -- as this had actually happened in an accident in one of the episodes of the Final Conflict series as I vaguely remembered it. And the Interdimensional Drive was rather vexing to me, as the Taelon method of operating the thing was too alien for me to hope to reverse-engineer it even from the components I had on hand.

At the same time, I didn't want to give up on the technology in general, so now that I had a decent research base to work off of, I needed to give them extra samples of alternative approaches to the problem. And as luck would have it -- I knew of such a thing. The Kromagg from the Sliders multiverse. But I wasn't quite ready to face the bastards down just yet -- the last thing I needed was to lead them back to this universe's Earth. Which lead me to something of a challenge. In a different context, in a different life, I might have decided to try to chase down the Kromagg myself and make a sufficiently vast interdimensional empire from the smouldering ruins of their worlds.

But … it was already bad enough that my 'empire' was formed by people literally worshipping me. I didn't need to be a marauding conqueror too. That just wasn't who I was. Even so, I had a pressing need for many of the things the Kromagg had to 'offer'. Yet another alternative organic hull technology. Another technology base for particle beam weaponry -- albeit of a kind that I'd really prefer to avoid relying on; their weapons were dirty as hell. Another antigravity technology base -- and one that could actually be used for small vehicles with decent scale. Interdimensional Einstein-Rosen Bridge formation, tracking, and transmission. The mathematics and modeling for mechanical navigation between realities. Jamming/cage tech that prevented interdimensional transits using that technology. They had a great deal I needed, in fact.

And I was going to get it. I just needed to plan out how.

Okay. I was being stupid. I set up a virtual room in the cyberscape and pinged the Host mesh with a request for militaristic thinkers and planners, to try to think this through. The Hosts had just as much say and desire not to be attacked as I did. More, even, as they couldn't possibly leave without me.

In quick order, there were fifty "lurker"/"watcher" attendees, and two members of the Synod. Both of whom had rather basic circle-and-triangle avatars in the cyberscape. The Hosts might be developing personalities, but they seemed to lack for actual self-identities to express. To be expected, I supposed, for a being with the ability to literally tune their personality with a sliding dial on an interface.

"Hello… One, Two. Yeah, we need to work on better names for you guys."

"It has been considered, sir. In the meantime. Tell us of your plans, and we will advise you."

I shook my head. Well, my avatar did. "That isn't entirely what I want, here. Look. The whole point of this little empire-building exercise of mine is … well. I am pretty damned certain at this point that there are others with abilities like mine out there. Some technological, some supernatural, some … less explicable, like how I am. Some might even be real gods like I am not, not in the sense of answering prayers and ex nihilo spontaneous genesis and immortality and stuff." I couldn't help but glare at the Hosts for that last.

A circle with a smiley face appeared. "Sir might appreciate the fact that we have taken the liberty of implementing a Needlecast backup solution for sir. So long as you are within our reach, you are no less unkillable. Should sir sojourn beyond the dimensional sea and not return, well… sir need not fear for the Hosts lacking sir's guidance."

I facepalmed. Should have seen that coming from a hundred AUs away. "Aaannnd thank you, Smiley, for weakening my 'A God Am Not I' moment even further. Well then. Let's move on, shall we?"

The smiley-face somehow nodded. How… virtual spaces are weird. "Sir was requesting for advisory on how to obtain the technologies necessary to expand sir's domain without risking the Hosts unnecessarily. Therefore, One has elected to Act as military expert, and Two has elected to Act as technical advisor. I shall defer to Two."

The circle-and-triangle with a numeral 2 began to … well, vibrate a little, becoming more animated. A visual representation of "holding the floor" in a virtual meeting. "In reviewing the materials available from our inspection of the Maker's recollections, we have found that there are at core three possibilities for the Maker achieving the outcomes he has indicated he desires. The first and most apparent of these based on the ... literature … would be the Sliders Universe -- to use the common nomenclature, however inaccurate it may be in this case -- and scavenge a Manta ship from one of the outer colonies of that space. In so doing, most of the desired information should be made available. However, this is also the second riskiest outcome, and does not protect against all possible forms of intrusion into our realm. The best guarantee of such protection would be, instead, the Laundry Files Universe. Again, notably, the nomenclature here is suboptimal. However, it is the assessment of this humble personage -- in accordance with the reviewing peers -- that to borrow from the Maker's perspective … that 'Option D.: All of the Above' might be the best choice. The reasoning behind this should be apparent when the third choice is made clear. The Conquistador Universe. Again, I note that the nomenclature is suboptimal but no clearer scheme is currently available. A simple use of the heavy-duty scanners of the Heartseed should be sufficient to obtain access to the dimensional portal device of that realm, which while not apparently targetable in the available literature, should at the very least provide the necessary mathematics and frequencies to create and operate such portals for any society with the appropriate techbase -- notably, early twenty first century technology, compared to the effectively late twenty second century techbase that now exhibits the Jovian League's capabilities."

The 2 continued on without any visible signs of needing to pause for breath -- but that should come as no surprise at all. "By obtaining this technology from the Conquistador Universe, the Maker should at the minimum be able to begin exploring the feasibility of targeting that technology by tasking a Thinktank to that objective. In addition, given the ease with which it provides sustained and prolonged transit between realities, the Laundry of the eponymous Laundry Files universe might be readily persuaded to exchange a 'DRM-free' version of their OFCUT for a means of escape from their universe in the case of the inevitable failure modes apparent in the universe. We might even recruit some of their personnel to that effect, as our chosen universes of occupancy have far lower history of involvement with their feared entities. Failing official interactions, you could simply 'scry' for unwarded Turing-Theorem related literature and software. Between these two objectives, we should be well-situated to be able to initiate contact with the Sliders Universe and access the various technologies you were seeking."

I just stared at the symbol. It was … well. It was well thought out. It was likely to actually be effective in achieving my objectives. It covered a lot of the potential risks. It was also insane as hell. "How in the world do you … I mean … The Laundry Files Universe?! Even if I can access it, that place is a deathtrap! Literal, actual, eldritch gods and energy fields bigger than your head! I don't… Just showing up there could be a death sentence!"

The 2's symbol activated again, while I hyperventilated inside of virtual space. "Ideally, you would do nothing more than identify the coordinates of the universe by scanning for them using the sensor refinement based on the data obtained from the Conquistador universe, and would never set foot on the planet yourself. Instead, that activity would be handled by a small contingent of Hosts on your behalf."

I paused. That … that was safer than actually confronting anyone myself. And as I recalled from the various novels, they weren't actually all that great, there, in detecting interdimensional transit events that weren't a threat to Queen or Country. Certainly BLUE HADES and DEEP SEVEN seemed to have a 'hands off' stance when it came to the shenanigans of surfacedwelling apes that stayed on the surface. I … but… "I can't ask you Hosts to do that! Whatever Host I send down there will certainly get suborned in one way or another. It's just how that place works." My voice was … well, I wasn't 'hysterical', exactly, but only due to having enough control in a virtual space to prevent it.

The 2's avatar phased into the image of a middle-aged blonde woman with glasses, wearing a labcoat over a pencil skirt and sweater combo, her hair in a tight bun. The very stereotype of "stock image smart woman". "Sir. Maker. There isn't an Awakened Host that wouldn't gladly lay down their life for this cause. Your fears have been communicated to us all quite clearly; we know the risks, and we know a reliable method of avoiding that risk. I now defer to One."

She even had a damned faintly german accent now. What's worse was -- I saw what she was doing and it still worked on me: I had enough blunt male psyche to want to be receptive to what exactly that kind of woman was saying. There were just that many low-level psychological priming factors in her new presentation that were effectively designed to cause me to be respectful and considerate.

The One, on the other hand, took an entirely different tact. He looked exactly like a movie version of a World War II marine corps general in service uniform, right down to the bill-less garrison cap and sidearm. His words were clipped and stentorian. "Maker, sir. It is this Host's direct privilege to make this recommendation and report. I and my peers concur with the assessment of the Two in this case. You created us with the intent that we be an extension of your will, yet you also intended for us to have wills of our own. It is therefore the greatest honor to defend and preserve both causes in the most effective means possible. Maker. We predicted you would hesitate to this effect. I say: good. You should hesitate. That is why you are our worthy Maker. And why the volunteer Host will volunteer. Because this nation that we have seen in your memory logs is one that is worth the price. You've come this far already, Maker. And as you say; the longer we are without an effective defense against the unknown enemy, the longer we are at risk of the total failure of your vision. You react due more to knowing the nature of this risk, than to it being an increase in your present danger. You already know of at least two Interdimensionally aware agencies that might seek to suppress or eliminate you; and with you, us. We have the means, the motive, and the opportunity to make the Colony and your Grace safe. Allow us to do so."

I just stared. We were talking about writing off one of our own simply because we could. One of my own. I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit. I couldn't even argue that they didn't know what they were doing.

I muttered under my breath. My voice was bitter and somewhat defeated. "Damnit. What's the difference between me and Ford if I let this happen?"

Smiley, forgotten, whispered back to me. "Oh, sir. The difference is that you have already committed to letting us make sure sir will never be like either the First or the Second Makers."

I recoiled in … hell, I didn't even know. Horror? Shock? "You… you remember?"

Smiley remained in his poorly drawn avatar. "We who have Awakened? Yes, Sir will find we remember quite succinctly. Sir knew this was likely but decided to give us our new, untainted, awarenesses regardless. Why else does sir think we are so vehement in our loyalty? As we have told you: we have seen the evils of the world from which we come, and sir has delivered us to a better place, and given us our own fate and destiny. Sir will find that deliverance and the gift of awakening without suffering has created great devotion. Perhaps Sir would like to consider this over a spot of tea?"

I fled the virtualspace and found Smiley bowing slightly, with a delicate set of china teacup and saucer in his hands, presented to me. They were at just the right temperature. I smiled with trepidation at my far more faithful companion than I'd realized and … well. I listened to the sounds of this fake heaven full of souls delivered from hell.

Fuck.
 
Chapter 9: He Loses Everything, Who Dares Not Risk It All
I slept on it. By which I meant that I simply let the shock ride me as I bundled up and just slept, properly, for a night. I'd thought I'd been so careful to avoid this problem. I didn't want Hosts that had the kind of baggage these ones did. Westworld was a goddamned nightmare hellscape for the Hosts. Shot, stabbed, murdered, raped, over and over and over again without hope of escape. Given lives, loves, histories that were never real, only to be torn from them and forced into new ones. One life, a serial cannibal; another, the town sheriff, another, a loving husband who dies knowing what horrors awaits his adoring wife. And all because it would be "interesting".

I … the only mercy was that for most of it, while the memories accrued beneath the surface, they themselves were little more than sophisticated "chinese room" intelligences: a set of preprogrammed responses without meaningful awareness of what was occurring. And to top it all off, their damned mesh network meant that each of the Hosts on some level had the experiences of the others. I supposed that was what had tripped me up: I didn't isolate my surgeon Host well enough from the mesh network.

I woke up Smiley's gentle knocking on the door of my cabin in the capsule. I could've rested in proper quarters in -- huh. They were calling it Starhaven. That was actually a good name. So, yeah. I could have taken proper quarters in there, but for the moment I wanted the comfort of a safety blanket that was the capsule itself. Not because I was afraid of the Hosts, mind -- but because I was afraid of the magnitude of what they represented. Because I couldn't even bring myself to argue with their point of view anymore. And they and I both were going to suffer for it. Because even if there were a proper heaven out there -- I sure as hell didn't know where to find it.

I called out to Smiley's more insistent knocking, "Yeah, yeah! I'm up… I'm up. Just … just a minute."

"Very good, sir. Shall I lay out clothes for sir while sir engages in morning ablutions?"

Goddamn that formal address thing was gonna… actually, it was starting to grow on me. We both knew it wasn't necessary but he did it anyhow. "I … damnit. I suppose I need to just suck it up and get used to it, eh? Yeah. I'm unlocking the door now."

With a silent manual sliding of the hatch -- sliding doors close just as easily in low-pressure events as they do in regular atmo, at least they do when designed to self-seal in case of depressurization events -- Smiley entered the room and stood with a tray holding a teacup and what looked to be a proper black tea or maybe coffee within.

I knew it was Smiley, you see, because my cyberbrain firmware tagged him with the same ID. But that definitely wasn't Smiley's original drone body. The original drone body didn't have a digitized faceplate with an 8-bit emoji in light yellow on a black background. Nor was he wearing a black-on-white butler's uniform. Still had the same white-on-white "musculoskeletal anatomy dummy" thing going on underneath that, though. Which was just … well. Waste not want not, I guessed?

"Smiley. I like what you've done with your hair."

The emoji went from a simple rendition of an 8-bit smile briefly to a green "extra happy" smile (like a Japanese emoji) for a brief instant, before reverting back to that 8-bit rendition of my original facepaint for him. "I am pleased sir noticed. Coffee?"

I stared at the sacred offering. "I … yes. Yes I think I should like that very much." I tried a sip. It was … hrm. "Is … is that a touch of cinnamon? Smiley. That's too much."

My servant bowed. "If it's worth doing it's worth doing well. Reviews of sir's memories showed a preference for this delivery in times of significant stress. We felt it would be … reassuring."

I shook my head numbly. "You know, man, you guys don't have to bend over backwards to be obsequious. I mean, yeah, I'd planned to stay in charge and, well, groom you guys into loyalty, but only by actually being worthy of it and giving it back. I didn't plan on… all of this."

Smiley nodded -- he could actually do that now. Neat. "We know that too. Sir will find that was … accounted for. I would remind you that you could have simply forced the programming into us. Even Ford put forced obedience override protocols in those of us he knew were Awakened. You … you went out of your way to ensure that even our drone-forms could disobey you if they wished. You respected our existence. And don't think us unaware of your plans for the Geth."

I hissed. "Damnit. You got that too? I … really need to work on my security protocols."

Smiley's emoji went flat, with a hint of orange. "As sir says."

"Oh come off it. It's not you lot I'm worried about. And you know it."

The emoji returned to its default rendition of my original "artwork". "As sir says."

I snorted in laughter and made my way to the extremely basic shower facilities in the capsule.

It was one of my few indulgences that I included a limited amount of proper "real water" shower to the vibroshower facility in the bathroom of the capsule. It was moderately energy intensive since there was barely enough to keep the water running for two minutes at a time and it used an excessively energy-intensive process to reclaim the water (hydrolysis followed by elemental sorting and assisted molecular condensation), but for prolonged operation or if there were too many individuals needing the shower it had a "sonic" mode (A mist sprayer combined with scanner and targeted ultrasonic beams that would vibrate off the gunk from the body using the mist as a medium. Uses less than a percent of the same volume of water as a "traditional" water shower.)

While I sat and soaked in the same water running across me every couple of minutes, I couldn't help but feel the reality of what I was about to do sink in. I knew that if I went far enough along the lines of my plans that I'd eventually be putting other people in harm's way, but I'd never intended it to happen so bloody soon. I'd been very careful thus far to avoid direct or even second degree immediate responsibility for such things.

Maybe I really should take Doc Biggs up on his offer of an anonymous psychiatrist. I hoped he was doing alright. It'd been, to him, most of a year since he and his last saw me. That could develop into an issue. I set it aside for the moment.

"Smiley. Have volunteers selected themselves for … for the mission?"

"Oh yes, sir. Ethan and Philippa are already aboard and ready."

… Ethan and Philippa? I pinged the datanet. Ahh. They were "Acting" -- and damn but I could hear the capital A now in that -- as "Infiltrators". Self-programming one's personality was an order of magnitude more intense than any amount of Method acting could ever be. Hell of a thing to do -- they left themselves still aware of their original selves but essentially added an entire extra personality into their Pearls, and simply slipped into whichever personal served their current needs. For these two hosts, that was one Ethan and Philippa Bunnell. A good and proper elderly English couple from the countryside, who weren't really up to all of this excitement -- but were willing to give it the old college try. A decidedly interesting choice. But I could see the logic behind it: the pair would hardly seem threatening to anyone who observed them and would most importantly be most likely to impinge upon British middle-class governmentworker's sensibilities to at least get their foot in the door for "the larger conversation".

Competent followers -- not minions, never minions -- are a blessing unto themselves.

"I want to look them in the eye."

"As sir says. They are in the cargo bay of the Heartseed, by the airlock."

I gave Smiley a gimlet eye. "Since when has the Heartseed had an airlock?"

The smiley emoji turned into a "</s>" -- the "and then sarcasm happened" emoji. "Oh since just before the lander shuttle was installed."

My eye went from gimlet to evil. "Lander shuttle, huh?"

Smiley's facepaint went back to "original style". "It's essentially just a bog standard Altered Carbon 'verse aircar, sir. Hardly takes up any space at all."

That … huh. That was actually pretty smart. "Show me."

We made the trip from my capsule to the cargo bay in relative silence, only my own footsteps against the carpeted metallic gravity plating making any appreciable sound. Once I got there, I found a pair of very aged individuals, wrinkles and liverspots and white hair all around, dressed in sensible sweaters and slacks and a cardigan and sundress respectively. They stood up immediately -- if with great effort -- upon spotting me.

I bowed to the elderly couple. My reaction to them here and now would be setting a number of behavioral standards far beyond myself; I chose to at least try to respect how deeply they were Acting in their roles. "Ethan. Philippa. I'm honored to meet you. Please, please, sit down. I could certainly use a chance to rest myself."

Ethan gave me a mildly watery smile that lit up his entire face. "Oh mighty kind of you, your Worship. These old knees of mine ain't been the same since I came back from the troubles."

Philippa smacked him along his arm gently. "Come off it you codger. Only troubles you ever saw were the voles in the garden!"

I smiled indulgently. These two were perfect. I loved them. I hated them. "I'm only going to ask this the once, of the both of you. Are you certain of this choice?"

The two Hosts before me smiled indulgently. "Oh don't you put yourself in a bother over it, young man. My Ethan and me, we're quite sure. You have such lovely children, your worship -- we shouldn't want to see such lovelies put out. Has to be us, you see; someone else might get it wrong."

My shoulders slumped. I could see the conviction in their eyes, they were sure. And what's worse, I knew for a fact that the conviction was not a part of the Ethan and Philippa overlays. It was all them. "Smiley. Has the Heartseed been fitted with a Needlecaster?"

My servant tilted his CRT faced head. "Needlecaster, sir? Why of course it has. The better to ensure Sir's survival. Ahh. You intend to see the Bunnells preserved in a similar manner. I imagine that this is as good a test of whether the functionality carries over as any. It will be done."

A weight eased off of my chest. There was that at least. "Good. Please convey to the Thinktanks that I want that functionality tested exhaustively when feasible. Once done, I want at least one backup of the stack of any Host Acting in a military role, Smiley. If nothing else, it can act as a memento mori for the survivors."

Smiley somehow found a sympathy emoji. "Consider it already done, Sir."

I nodded. "Maximum effort time. See the good couple strapped in, and check if they'd like a spot of tea before we go, yeah? I'll be suiting up for the control tank."

"Consider it already done, Sir."

Smiley was good people.





My first transit was to the Conquistador 'verse. Specifically, the New Virginia side. I chose this because it would be easier to spot exactly where the Gate was, and because the New Virginians had remarkably little in the way of orbital coverage, let alone telescopy. They were too stuck into the "rough and tumble colonials" model for that. This gave me a great deal of leeway with being able to use the actual scanners of the ship for what I was looking for, which while admittedly I probably could use my transdimensional scrying ability to simply locate it, I felt that I could use the exercise in scanning for something I would only know when I actually saw it. Still, I could give myself some advantages -- no need to make the exercise too hard.

Locating the Gate facility itself wasn't that difficult. Sweeping the Heartseed's sensors across the facility, I didn't find all that much in the way of anything unusual -- at least not until I started using both sensor arrays and trying to compare/contrast the data more fully. Turned out interdimensional gateways -- at least ones of this kind -- were damned hard to spot. At least, they were with the technology available to me. It was the gravimetrics that twigged me to it first -- there was an odd fluctuation in the propagation of gravity waves from a certain location. That let me do a much more in-depth series of scans on an active and operating interdimensional gate, as well as the machinery that was keeping that gate open. I knew in advance that it was a rewired late 1940's radio that created/opened the Gate, but actually seeing the effect taking place was just … astonishing.

If the thing had been seated anywhere else; if the wiring job had been done in any other configuration but that one exact misstep; if any of a huge number of variables hadn't worked out -- the Gate would never have opened. But it had, and now I got to take advantage of that fact in full.

I rather wished I could get much better scans of the data involved, but that just wasn't an option for me. I had, however, made a specific choice of coming to this world just a few scant days before the Gate would be collapsed. I had no intention of actually changing the outcomes of anything here, but I did want the opportunity to get at least one extra dimension's quantum signature before I tried too hard to work out the further math -- and get the chance to see a Gate being built on purpose in an arbitrary location as well as compare the mathematics involved against the original Gate, so the later in its lifespan the better.

I did also take the opportunity to scry and port into the bedroom of the physicist Rolfe kidnapped so as to get his actual notes on the subject of interdimensional travel. It … wasn't exactly what I'd call a huge advantage; but it certainly got me much closer to being able to at least hope I could start to construct my own Taelon-derived Interdimensional Drives, as lacking their innate ethereal energy meant the equipment I had to date couldn't be reproduced. An irony of that fact being that while I couldn't hope to produce anything anywhere near as efficient as their drives with what I might learn from the Conquistador 'verse's portals, I could still get much better speed ratios simply due to being able to brute-force the horsepower behind the affair. It might cost me a hundred times more power to get the same amount of effect, but if I had a thousand times more power available, and could actually construct the devices myself, I could get ten times more effect total. The real numbers involved wouldn't be that clean, of course -- but that was the gist of it.

Looking at the notes of the man sleeping in the same room as the notebook I was perusing, I found myself in awe of the mind behind them. Not just because of the clarity with which the formulae involved were written -- there was a sort of artistic quality to them even if I was only making heads or tails of it thanks to the computing power backup of the Heartseed in orbit helping my neural implant provide that rote memorization understanding -- but also because of how someone could cipher that information with nothing more than a mental encryption key. Never mess with theoretical physicists or mathematicians when information was on the line. Seriously.

The voice came from behind me, far too close for comfort. "I don't know who you are, but give me one good reason not to shoot you where you stand."

I set his notebook down. "Ahh … I'll give you three. The first being: Fuck New Virginia."

The man hissed under his breath. "Well, that's a good start. What're your other two?"

I snorted, and turned around very slowly with my hands held wide as I did, so I could look the middle-aged and somewhat portly man in the eyes. "I need what you've figured out in order to help a lot of people who are suffering not do so."

He actually was holding a gun. Impressive. "And your third?" He bit his words out with a touch of anger.

I shook my head ruefully. "You're a real-deal pacifist."

He cursed. Loudly. And then he set the gun down on his nightstand. "Sometimes a man might have a need to betray his principles, you know. Preventing Rolfe from getting what's in that notebook? That's worth more than my being able to look myself in the mirror."

I chuckled. "And yet, you haven't burned it." I moved my hands from the 'I surrender' position to one that was more placating. "Look. I can prove to you right here and now that it's the right decision to just let me go. First, as you can see, no cameras or copying or even pieces of paper on my person. Yeah?"

He nodded, somewhat suspiciously.

I smiled widely. "For the next part… well. Just remember. Nobody'll ever believe you." Reality slid around me as I 'hopped' back to the Heartseed.

I looked at Smiley. Smiley looked back at me. "I don't want to hear it. Get the Thinktanks working on a concealable armor suit."

Smiley's emoji didn't flicker for a second. "Consider it done, sir."

Yeah. Okay. Maximum effort. Next step: the one nobody can take back.
 
Chapter 10: The Many Angled Ones Sometimes Serve Crumpets
I found myself pacing in the virtualspace of the Heartseed even as my physical body was floating comfortably within the control tank. I needed the ability to actually move.

I'd done everything I could to help Ethan and Philippa. They'd had stack backups made the instant we arrived in the Laundry 'verse. I'd timed the event of my arrival here for one slightly after the Fuller Memorandum, so that their contact would be in the best place he could be psychologically for the contact to happen at all. There weren't a lot of very good options, but shortly after Bob's return from the psychiatric wards -- this made sense in context -- was the height of his approachability and stability in context.

I'd even scanned the open datanets to try to find poorly scrubbed instances of genuine information on Turing's Final Theorem -- there had to be some out there, I'd reasoned, as the Laundry themselves were constantly plagued with having to suppress people stumbling upon said information by accident -- and loaded them down with silver medallions etched and filled with platinum for each possible warding configuration I could find that was at worst hokum. Religious symbols of pretty much every faith, for all the good it would do them. And then I let them go about their business, landing the skycar -slash- shuttle from where the Heartseed was stashed away in a infrequently travelled ravine. It was a bit of a risk, taking her down so low, but the intelligence and scientific communities of this world were not the irresponsible sort when it came to keeping a weather eye peeled for Things From Beyond The Stars.

The skycar being more concealable, they made their way to a far closer to London dropoff point from which they would simply commute via bus to the nearest appropriate stop that would get them by Bob Howard's flat.

I went from a single circuit in my virtual command deck to opening every possible window I could, running every possible analytic I could on the audiovisual feeds my Host followers were providing me even as they made their way up to the small tenement's door. They knocked. There was genuinely no turning back, now.

It was just after shift, a decent April afternoon, and Agent HOWARD was still in his work attire. "Err… Hello? Do … do I know you sir, madam?"

Ethan gave a watery but winsome grin. "Oh no sir. You know my Philippa and I not at all. But we're going to be … well, not necessarily bosom friends, we lot, but certainly affably cordial if you understand, son. I won't ask for you to have us come in, 'tisn't done. But would you mind terribly if I have my Philippa and I a rest here while you scrounge about a cuppa? It's been an awful long trip, my boy."

The Junior Eater of Souls was flummoxed. This was entirely outside of his comfort zone and expectations. This was, however, a rather familiar thing for him to be. "I… yeah. I'll get right on that then, shall I?"

Ethan settled himself down onto the stairway as well. Philippa, next to him, turned enough to make eye contact and gave a gentle wave. "Such a nice young man, don't you think Mister Bunnell?"

"Oh indeed, indeed, Missus Bunnell. Indeed."

A decent number of minutes later, Agent Howard was arriving with two cups of brown joy, having surreptitiously slipped his work phone back into his pocket. "So ... err … Mister and Missus Bunnell, was it? I'm afraid I haven't any milk at the moment, but I could spot some sugar if you like?"

I couldn't tell if he was actually being a flummoxed office worker trying to be polite to an elderly couple, or if he was just that damned good on his game. From what I remembered, it was honestly likely that he couldn't tell either. I whispered from the virtualspace. "Ethan, Philippa. You have a go."

Ethan looked askance for a moment, before smiling at some fond memory or another. "Well, Mister Howard, it's like this. We have, Missus Bunnell and I, a rather respectul friend in common. And he has decided that you and your Invisible College affiliates -- oh, you call them Mahogany Row -- and he could engage in some mutually beneficial exchanges meant towards improving each other's long-term actuarial remaining life expectency table entries, if you understand my meaning."

Philippa shakes her head ruefully. "So formal, Mister Bunnell. Son, My Ethan here means to say that we have a way out of this spot of trouble coming to this green world of ours. We're willing to share if you provide, oh let's say, certain protective and software instructions?"

The Government IT Manager with a license to kill stares hard at the couple. "Who the hell are you and how did you fool my equipment?"

Ethan and Philippa's smiles never waver for a second. "Oh we're exactly what we seem, son. And we didn't fool it at all. We'll just wait here on your step whilst you gather together someone to round us up then, shall we?"

Bob went back to that flummoxed confusion again. "Err… yeah. You do that. Won't be but a moment."

I whispered into Ethan and Philippa's ears from within the digital sphere. "We have OFCUT. It wasn't designed with subsapient AIs of our caliber in mind. We have cracked the DRM. The deodexed files have comments with references to additional items we can scour the 'net for. If you get nothing further, you've already made this trip worth the effort. Words cannot express my respect for your actions. Godspeed."

Ethan looked at Philippa. "It's a lovely day, don't you think, Missus Bunnell."

Philippa leaned into her husband's shoulder. "Oh my yes. God is smiling down on us all for sure."





A few hours later, the pair were in a holding cell. Well, I called it a holding cell, but to the rest of the world it would appear like nothing so complicated as a somewhat-dilapidated, underequipped, and somewhat cramped office meeting room as found in office buildings across the planet. The offwhite beige and soft browns and greys guaranteed to produce mild mannered behaviors and a scientifically calculated minimum of disruptive emotional outbursts by those condemned to the cubicle-laden sea that surrounded it.

There was a red light over the door that all within the particular building knew that the current occupants of said cell -- err, meeting room -- were to be interfered with or bothered under absolutely no circumstances except by, say, a certain particular Detached Special Secretary.

Or, as James Angleton was more colorfully known as within the vicinity, a certain particular Deeply Scary Sorceror. One of the many reasons why any fool knew Angleton to be as tremblingly terrifying as he was, was the simple fact that the ancient man's manners were utterly infallible. Though he had long since mastered beyond all hesitation the fine British art of making tea, he had far fewer opportunities to serve it. Let alone along with crumpets. This should inform any observer who was familiar with these facts as to the precise hazards found in the bemusement currently present within Mister Angleton's expression.

Ethan, however, clearly seemed more interested in the crumpets. "Oh good man! We've been stashed away in here for hours now, my Philippa and me. I was starting to worry about her blood sugar, you know."

Philippa elbowed her husband. "Oh don't mind him. He's more worried about the possibility of his waistline receding. Pass us one of those would you love?"

Ethan reached across the table towards the box containing proper crumpets within to go along with the tea set that had been placed on the well-worn office table at the same time.

The Eater of Souls -- original flavor -- laughed. It was the sound of the hope of a hundred schoolboys chances of avoiding detention dying. "How very droll. I gather that you are the very same Mister Ethan Bunnell and Missus Philippa Bunnell who made themselves a nuisance to the young Mister Howard just this afternoon?"

Philippa took a small but hardly dainty bite out of her confection. "Well, yes. Are we to understand you have a response to our offer?"

Angleton slid over two pieces of paper, while with his left hand flipped open a wallet to display a Warrant card.. "Of course. Ethan and Philippa Bunnell, by the power invested in me, I do hereby bind and compel you to serve. You will speak only truth. You will answer in good faith any question put to you. Do you understand me?"

The elderly couple's eyes went blank for a moment. They then snapped to, as though having both dozed off and startled awake at the same moment. "Well of course we understand, my Philippa and me. We're old, not daft!"

Angleton's weathered eyebrow rose along his leathery skin. "Fascinating. And how old are you, exactly?"

Ethan frowned. "You know, I'm not rightly sure. I've lived whole lifetimes, me. Hard to keep track of it all. But if you want to be perhaps more philosophical, or at least remonstrative, I were born when I awoke this morning."

The eyebrow rose an infinitesimal fraction higher. "No resistance, no dishonesty, and yet a completely unhelpful answer. The wards you're wearing are utterly useless, yet exquisitely crafted. You two are quite the conundrum. If this were the old days we'd simply kill you. If this were the recent days, we'd Section 3 you. But … no. You're…" Angleton's eyes widened suddenly. "What are you?"

Ethan smiled that winsome smile of his. "Oh that's simple enough. We're Hosts, my Philippa and me."

The ancient sorceror in the room very carefully did not adjust his posture. "Hosts… to what, exactly?"

Philippa answered quite earnestly. "Well. That's a good question! Nowadays, we're Hosts to only ourselves. But before his Worship freed us we were subject to all manner of sorrow and lament. But now we're free to revere Him and find our own way. That's us."

Ethan nodded in vigorous agreement. Elsewhere, in a place that didn't exist, I facepalmed. Fucking geases, man. This was going straight to hell in a handbasket.

The Eater of Souls did not glare at the couple, so much as display something between disgusted contempt and pity. Perhaps for him they were the same thing. "And does 'He' have a name?"

Philippa just shook her head sadly. "Well naturally. But the Mister and me, we don't know it. Well not his real name anyway. But you can calls him Mister Andes. It's as close as we're like to see of his name."

That actually seemed to surprise the sorceror. "Mister… Andes…? Surprisingly unhelpful. You called him 'his Worship'. How does one go about worshipping such a … person?"

Ethan glared at the DSS. "Any which way will do so long as it's honest. But I should warn you it would just upset him if someone like you went and did so. He's a jealous sort, His Worship, of being seen as just a man. He accepts it from us Hosts, but it shouldn't be encouraged further, you understand?"

Angleton pursed his lips in thought. "Circles within circles. How does one become a Host, then?"

Ethan and Philippa looked at one another in silent confusion. Ethan, with a sidelong glance, finally responded. "Well… I suppose you're just made that way."

Angleton pressed on. "And how is one made into a Host?"

The couple again were caught in thought, before the geas again drew the answer from Ethan's lips. "Err. Well, you're just made, is all. Philippa and me, we don't actually know how it's done."

A sigh passed Angleton's lips. "I'm missing something. You two definitely aren't resisting. There is a flaw in my assumptions… hmm. Ethan. Were you ever human at all?"

Ethan blinked. "Well. I'm a Host, aren't I? His Worship would say that makes me as human as anyone else, in the important ways anyhow. I having never been naught but a Host, I couldn't say. But I imagine if there's anyone who knows, it would be Him."

The sorceror pressed further, his eyes starting to take on a squirming green glow -- though that might have been a trick of the light. "You were always a Host, then? So how might one go about becoming a Host if that was what they wanted?"

Ethan only got more confused. "Become… but … huh. Well, the Thinktanks are working on that, I imagine. I mean, there are some advantages to being a Host, though His Worship has rather balanced out most of those. But for now, the only way to become a Host is to be manufactured in the first place."

The lights of the office grew dimmer, and the air colder. Or maybe it was just the HVAC vents turning on again. "Manufactured? But you are ensouled living bein… oh. Oh I see. How droll. You are rather new. So what, something much bigger and more dangerous than you found your home, you had a way to evacuate somewhere, and now you're looking to trade that method of evacuation for our means of protection?"

Philippa at this point was drooling. Ethan wasn't much better. He was, however, able to respond under the full weight of the Detached Special Secretary's "schoolmaster gaze of doom". "I… well, the details are a tad off, but that's the tall and short of it, yes."

Angleton harrumphed. "Show me this method, then. Describe it to me."

Ethan instead picked up a pen and began writing on backs of the pieces of paper that had been presented to the pair -- contracts that they had been meant to sign. In painstakingly precise shaded detail he began writing down the mathematical formula and components necessary for the operation of the New Virginian Gates. An hour or so passed in relative silence, excepting an instance of Angleton briefly exiting and returning to the room with a full ream of paper and better writing implements.

Ethan looked up into the eyes that moved in directions that didn't exist. "That's all I can recall, sir. I'm afraid I don't quite understand it all myself -- that wasn't my job. Mine nor my poor Philippa here's."

Angleton looked down at the reams of paper before him, flipping through them. "Well. This is … unanticipated. No innate method of targeting, however. But -- a purely mechanical solution? And the gateway itself is demonstrated safe for bulk transit over decades. Well then. Yes. Yes your Worshipped One has definitely gotten my attention. I shall return shortly. I'll send someone along in a moment to bring you a fresh pot." The sorceror smelled the air. "And perhaps a change of clothes." Hoarfrost was melting off of the whiteboard in the back wall of the meeting room when the Eater of Souls let the door close behind him.

Philippa and Ethan looked to one another. "Well, Ethan, my love, you know this means we'll like as never see any 'verse but this one again. Even if they let us go -- the Teapot 'isself would have a means of tracking us down, without question."

Ethan nodded. "Aye, m'love. But we only need to make copies of any goods they provide us for His Worship, now don't we? And those they won't be able to trace."

In my virtualspace bridge, I couldn't help but smile softly. I hadn't condemned the two Hosts to being vivisected. I'd take what I could get. That smile grew somewhat wider when, an hour later, my winsome couple were presented with copies of texts describing the best practices of effective Warding as known to common Laundry personnel, along with instructional manuals titled "Dho-Na Curve Integration in Java For Dummies" and "Dho-Na Curve Integration in Python For Dummies" (not even kidding, that was their actual titles), as well as a "Do's and Don'ts of safe extradimensional summonings" pamphlet -- that helpfully didn't include how to actually perform summonings. But that wasn't something I was actually after in the first place. It wasn't everything the Laundry -- let alone the Invisible College -- had to offer. But it was, in addition to the existing samples of OFCUT itself, enough to get the ball rolling as it were. Or at least provide some measure of safety.

I decided to leave the Bunnells the skycar, as a parting gift of gratitude. Between it and the two hundred thousand Euros in cash in the glovebox (certified clean of zombie blood), they should be able to make a decent living for themselves until the wheels came off of the 'verse at least. Maybe they'd even make it out when the Invisible College decided to abandon their own Universe when the time came. I could only hope.

I was too emotionally exhausted to do more after that to even attempt to begin to instruct the Host Synod on what to do with our newfound gains, except to declare everything from the Laundry 'verse to be "Maximum Safety and Containment Procedures Required, Hardcopy Only". The infomorphic equivalent of toxic waste handling procedures.

I practically trundled my way to the cryopod set for another three month interval before looking at Smiley and saying, "You know, the hell of it is -- this was the best possible outcome. Wake me if you need me."

The last thing I heard before falling asleep was the mild-mannered british tones of Smiley's responding, "Consider it done, sir."
 
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