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Lead to Gold (Trans Magical Girl story)

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tricholysis said:
Firstly, I like genderbender and give it a shot basically regardless of premise.

But there's parts of the story so far which I find offputting:

1. the implication that transwomen pretransition are worthless, unvaluable, or nonfunctional as people
2. the emphasis on physical attractiveness or fitness as a marker of personal worth

Parts of these implications could theoretically be waved off as teens being teens, or depressed person being depressed, especially if the story showed maturity elsewhere. But tied to these characters' perspectives as it currently is, the best is to hope for better in the future
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I recommend looking at a depression checklist sometime. Feeling worthless is literally one of the classic symptoms. Furthermore, severe depression can absolutely interfere with daily life.

As for physical attractiveness, when you hate the way you look, why wouldn't you see having a form you love, let alone are comfortable with, as being one of the best things that could ever happen to you (not that the depression will let you feel like you deserve it)?
 
Script Mak3r said:
I recommend looking at a depression checklist sometime. Feeling worthless is literally one of the classic symptoms. Furthermore, severe depression can absolutely interfere with daily life.

As for physical attractiveness, when you hate the way you look, why wouldn't you see having a form you love, let alone are comfortable with, as being one of the best things that could ever happen to you (not that the depression will let you feel like you deserve it)?
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I am well aware of what depression is.

Like I said, some of it can be tied into Jeremy's depression, or Claire/Mel being shallow. But as I also said, as we are so far absent an alternative more reasonable perspective, the story's voice becomes that of the characters. And the story already does too much perspective hopping, so I wouldn't think that adding another would be ideal.
 
tricholysis said:
Firstly, I like genderbender and give it a shot basically regardless of premise.

But there's parts of the story so far which I find offputting:

1. the implication that transwomen pretransition are worthless, unvaluable, or nonfunctional as people
2. the emphasis on physical attractiveness or fitness as a marker of personal worth

Parts of these implications could theoretically be waved off as teens being teens, or depressed person being depressed, especially if the story showed maturity elsewhere. But tied to these characters' perspectives as it currently is, the best is to hope for better in the future
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I mean, while it isn't universal for trans women pre-transition, a very common symptom of dysphoria is literally feeling worthless and disconnected from their own bodies and like they just aren't functioning, and while it is no means universal, it isn't that bad. Also, yes the main characters of this story are teens, of course when on of them gets a crush on the other when they look a specific way it makes them seem better, that's how teens think.
 
tricholysis said:
I am well aware of what depression is.

Like I said, some of it can be tied into Jeremy's depression, or Claire/Mel being shallow. But as I also said, as we are so far absent an alternative more reasonable perspective, the story's voice becomes that of the characters. And the story already does too much perspective hopping, so I wouldn't think that adding another would be ideal.
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I don't really think it is that big of a deal, honestly. There doesn't need to be a neutral perspective to a story, although it is fine to prefer stories like that.
 
tricholysis said:
1. the implication that transwomen pretransition are worthless, unvaluable, or nonfunctional as people
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It's two words, an adjective and a noun. Trans women. You don't say tallwomen or shortwomen, do you? The alternative grammatically implies the person in question isn't a, full-stop no modifiers needed, woman.

And I assure you, those feelings of being worthless, unvalued, and nonfunctional are 100% genuine lived experience despite their being objectively false -- and intellectually known as such while experiencing them.

tricholysis said:
2. the emphasis on physical attractiveness or fitness as a marker of personal worth
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Welcome to the body dysmorphia aspect of gender dysphoria. It's double-plus unfun all the way down.
 
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Hey Ms.Bea, how's the story going? Have you made much progress, or have you just been busy with other stuff?
Sorry if this is a rude way of asking, I don't know the proper way of it.
 
This is a strong start. I appreciate the tonal balancing act with the villains - feeling like a genuinely lethal threat, without it feeling overwrought or overly grim like some other magical girl stories or quests here. Jeremy/Albedia is quite compelling, and I hope she figures herself out soon, though I was surprised by how quickly both she and Citrina revealed their civilian identities to one-another; I anticipated that she would want to keep that a secret and maintain a distance from Charity, but this route does make more sense with how disoriented she still was at the time. I greatly enjoy Charity's perspective segments, and I am intrigued by what role Mel may play going forward.

Bea said:
She was only off-guard for a second, but that was all Citrinia needed to get free from her prone position and wrench the blade from Sunny's hand.
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I believe if she is lying on her back, the proper term is supine, rather than prone.
 
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