Kant-O-Celle Quest [a Kantai Collection game, transcribed from 4chan]

[SV5195R]

I'm still holding out hope that Hate will get his due here soon because his going unpunished is leaving a sour taste to the thread for me.

Click to shrink...

Yes. Hate is many things but good soldier and decent human being he is not.

 

[Trace Coburn]

KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: CAN'T BONGOU THE KONGOU​

[X] Arizona

You hold up your hands placatingly. "Okay, okay. I..."

Shoukaku cocks her head as you pause meaningfully. "What?"

"Sorry, the irony hit me all at OW!"

She fingershakes with the same hand she used to smack you upside the head, smiling sweetly. "Careful, Admiral. If Kaga hears you she might turn so red that she stops traffic. So, who are you taking?"

"Well," you say, turning to scan the party - only to find Arizona standing right next to you.

"Oh," you say.

"Oh," Shoukaku says.

The slender redhead tilts her head slightly, a silent question.

"Yes," you reply. "Best get going."

She raises an eyebrow quizzically.

"... um," you reply. You need to find Goto, but if he's smart he threw his phone into Tokyo bay - D/F loop antennas was standard equipment on any ship even in the 40s.

>Try to think like Goto. If you were a harried alcoholic who's had too much of this shit, where would you be?
>Find someone or something that knows his habits better than you do, track him down that way.
>Just follow the Kongou spoor.

42690141 -
Who do the American girls share rooms with, if anybody? I can see Hornet and Arizona rooming together, and Willy and Sammy having their own because rooming with them would be hell.
>Hamp moving in with Harder

42690223 (demetrious) -
>>Hamp moving in with Harder
NOW CANON

Click to shrink...

>Try to think like Goto. If you were a harried alcoholic who's had too much of this shit, where would you be?

"Right..." you muse. "If I was a harried alcoholic being hunted by a sex-crazed girl who is the returned personification of a massive warship sunk in battle, where would I go?"

"Ping~"

You look over to find Arizona holding your smartphone, which she slipped out of your uniform jacket's pocket. She bites her lip ever so slightly and attacks the screen again, the delicate sound of water droplets meeting her stymied attempt.

"Arizona?"

She looks up at you, taps her wrist, then makes a walking motion with her fingers.

"... ETA?"

She shakes her head, and for a second her eyes flash with frustration. She scowls at you, her delicate eyebrows making the attempt almost comical, and adopts the hunched over look of someone at a keyboard with a mouse in their hands. She might not know computers, but a 40s girl knows a QWERTY keyboard without fail (the Smith-Corona company's stock went up fifteen points after the JSDF signed a supply contract with them, more on publicity than anything,) so you can't miss her exaggerated air-typing as she reaches for a key only modern boards have.

"... Escape?"

A shake.

"F1?"

Affirmative nod.


You peer at her. "Angry."

Double nod, thumbs up.

You peer at the sky and do the math. "Jump gate, jump gate you stupid mongoloid fucks?"

That small subdued smile and a nod.

"... spreadsheets."

She actually *smiles* at you now, a little animation in her expression.

"... schedule! His schedule?"

She smiles so widely that she actually closes her eyes for a moment - and all this time you thought it was just an emoticon.

"Right, duh." Unlike you, Goto has an actual fleet worth of shipgirls to command, so he can't foist things off on a bunch of clerks he hasn't bothered to introduce himself to before putting them under the de-facto command of an alcoholic depressed traffic cone, like you did. Oh yes, you are very much flag rank now - if you'd awarded *yourself* that MOH the asswipe trifecta would be complete. For a second the mental image of you saluting Japan as you motor into the bay, one foot on the back of a tiny little Outfitted corgi each strikes you as you're unlocking your phone, and its everything you can do to keep in the giggles. "R-right," you manage. You look up at Arizona. "His schedule... ah. Press conference."

Arizona blinks.

Arizona trades a look with Shoukaku.

They both look at you.

"Oh *fuck,*" you snap. "Get to the damn jeep!"


Arizona beats you by several long strides without breaking a sweat as you kind of limp-gallop behind her. Flinging your cane in the back, you fire up the engine and thunder away from the docks, heading towards the main administrative building. The place has a nice, big press room just for such occasions, compete with flanking Japanese/American flags, dual insignia on the podium and everything else required for presenting a Unified Front against asshole politicians. It mainly gets used when a Marine does something fucking retarded, though the incident two years back with the drunk boomer guys and the drone might outweigh the entire Corps alone. Tailoring a maid outfit to fit it was, as the JAG put it, a "clear sign of premeditation," something which cannot be said of most Marine NJP-worthy incidents.

And unless you're greatly mistaken, Kongou is about to burst right into it.

Rounding the last curve, you floor the accelerator, hurtling the Jeep Cherokee down the straightaway at a good pace. You lean on the brakes, angling for the curb -


- and almost squeal in surprise when a small green John Deere lawn tractor zips by you doing thirty-five, at least, probably with velocity from the downhill slope. You catch a glimpse of a man in grass-stained overalls hunched over the wheel, streamlined for speed, a desperate look on his face. As the jeep jumps the curb and grinds to a halt in the carefully manicured lawn of the base's main administrative building, you hear the loud, long, high-pitched little hunting howls and look back in time to see half a dozen corgis belting after the poor bastard, their Outfits summoned and their tiny little legs a blur as they keep pace easily. It's hard to escape three Allison 40-liter engines at full rev - especially on a lawn tractor. But it doesn't look like the landscaper is backing down - you catch a last glimpse of the John Deere as it catches brief air coming off the curb on the curving drive-through loop in front of the building, and then the entire troupe is lost to sight, haunting little doggy howls fading into the air.

Arizona turns, very slowly, to look at you.

>We have to prioritize. In war, you must make sacrifices, and Goto's in danger!
>Time to split the party, I guess.
>... we should probably do something about that.


>We have to prioritize. In war, you must make sacrifices, and Goto's in danger!
(Archivist's note: innocuous though it may seem, this decision-point seems to be where things this session really started to come unstuck.)

You grit your teeth and hiss as you glare after the departing Wild Hunt. "I guess Hate's fed up with dogsitting, then." Snatching your cane out of the Jeep, you alight on the sidewalk and are hobbling towards the building before Arizona's managed to unbuckle. She catches up with you at the door, unbuttoning her jacket - the summer sun is finally making itself known. Aware you're about to walk into a press conference, you keep yours intact, arresting the habitual twitch to remove your cover as you bolt over the threshold. You reach the designated room with time to spare, handing your hat to Arizona to hide as you slip through the double doors very quietly, not wanting to attract attention.

"-of the Bonin Islands was just one of several successful combined-arms operations this month," Goto is saying. "A combined conventional/nonconventional force from Norway intercepted and destroyed Abyssal raiders operating in the North Sea just two days ago." He gestures at the screen behind him, which begins playing a short clip. It shows something vaguely humanoid-shaped flailing weakly in the North Sea coastal fog, a creature that seems to be made entirely of dogs. After a few more staggering steps it falls flat on its face, a snarling little creature attached to every biteable surface area. The camera pulls out long enough to pan over to the deck of a Skjold-class corvette, where a few men are idly smoking as they watch the tableau. "Two days before that, the Swedish navy pinned down a confirmed abyssal sub-surface contact with depth charges for almost thirty-six hours. Status is unknown, but it is believed to have been sunk."


"We've all heard that before," a heckler snaps from the crowd, and to your surprise a murmur of discontent spreads through the assembled media personages. Even from across the room you can see Goto's jaw tighten a bit, and he jerks his thumb at the screen, cuing the next reel of film. The reporters fall silent as an aerial camera pans over a great number of little fluffy grey dogs with curly tails sniffing intently as they prowl through the water - you stop counting at thirty-five. "Next question - yes, you?"

"How many JSDF ships were in the Bonin Islands battle?"

Your trained eye detects the slight firming of Goto's stance; that little tightening particular to military men used to standing at some sort of attention before taking a bull by the horns. "The JSDF provided the majority of the forces involved, with elements of the USN Seventh Fleet providing conventional backing."

"So we had no conventional assets in the fight," comes the reply, a bit sharp.

"Several US-1s on temporary detatchment to Chichi-Jima's seaplane base launched an aerial torpedo attack on the main Abyssal fleet," Goto replies, "disrupting their formation and complicating their flight deck operations at a crucial point in the battle. Next question, please - you?"


"Admiral Goto," the next reporter, a sharply-dressed woman asks. "Will the JSDF Kaga be deployed in support of the Iwo Jima amphibious operations?"

Goto tenses ever slighter. "It's one of the assets being considered for the operation, of course. Next question."

"Admiral Goto-" a man, this time - "is it true that the USS Arizona is among the new American detachment?"

Goto doesn't bat an eyelash. "I'm not at liberty to make such disclosures, past the fact that an American battleship is amongst the USN delegation assisting the JSDF and 7th fleet in current operations."

The room explodes in noise almost instantly, hands waving wildly for attention, a few trying to slap others down. Goto glowers darkly over the room, his intense look and posture quelling them within seconds. He nods at the next chosen one, who slings their question out sharply: "Admiral Goto - since the JSDF is using American ships *and* American shipgirls now, has there been any discussion about summoning the Yamato-class battleships?"

The room falls silent as Goto glares violently at the offender. "Next question, please."


"But Admiral-"

"The JSDF Public Relations department has made their final statement on that matter," he says sharply. "Next question - you."

"Admiral Goto, does the JSDF consider the IJN Yamato a greater threat to japan than the warship that iconizes the American defeat at Pearl Harbor?"

Goto seems to stop *moving* for a heartbeat; a figure with heavily-sketched edges, static upon the page. Then he lifts a finger, slowly, pointing at the offender. "Get out."

"Answer the question, Admiral!"

Goto flicks his eyes at the corners of the room, and you see men in JSDF navy-blue fatigues moving in. Marines. Big Marines, from the looks of them - even by American standards. But despite this, the cry is being taken up by the crowd - answer the question. ANSWER THE QUESTION!

>Step in and put an end to this bullshit.
>Prod Arizona forward - they won't know *what* to say!
>Call Kongou.
>Lets not go off half-cocked and put a round in the proverbial ceiling, now. Wait to see how Goto plays it.


>Lets not go off half-cocked and put a round in the proverbial ceiling, now. Wait to see how Goto plays it.

As the reporters crowd the stage, gesturing at the podium and making loud demands of Goto, you notice Arizona edging backwards, kind of sliding behind you. Considering the hostility of the crowd, you can't blame her. You see Goto's lips moving quietly - probably speaking into a throat mic - and then the large TV behind him switches feeds. The clamor dies with a sudden gasp as the various cameramen instinctively lock their lenses on the never-before-released footage.

Footage of Arizona.

The entire room watches with rapt attention as the final exchange of Arizona's first true engagement, in this life or the next is replayed - the moment where she accelerates to put her armor between the Abyssal battleships and Kongou's thin belt. The cameras keep rolling, recording as Arizona's superstructure is ripped to shreds, her delicate features quickly masked in blood after the shell hit to her forehead, shattering her primary rangefinder. She closes her eyes, already blinded by the blood, her turrets firing on local control as her delicate frame is crushed under an avalanche of steel.

"As you can see," Goto's cold voice slices through the room, "the JSDF knows very well what we can expect of shipgirls who come back on their own." He leaves the implications hanging over the crowd, subduing their complaints a bit. "Next. Question."


"Admiral, in light of the many safety complaints regarding the unpredictability of the canine-type ship spirits reported by Swedish Norwegian and German news media, do you think allowing the USN detachment of returned PT boats patrol the Sea of Japan was a better choice than purchasing a new domestic littoral vessel?"

Goto tilts his head. "I cannot speak for the experiences of any other navy, but the USN has maintained exemplary control of the returned PT boats in their recently assigned detachment. They provided low-level AA fire during the air raid last week that was instrumental in limiting damage and casualties, and we expect them to be a valuable force multiplier in days to come, allowing the JSDF to focus resources on specialty missions they are ill-equipped for, such as anti-submarine warfare patrols with the Kaga's upcoming first deployment."

Just below the murmur that's beginning to resurface your ears detect a terrible, terrible sound - the faint little howls of hunting Corgis, and worse, the breathy, shrill scream of a girl being pursued.

You think back on the lousy timing that put the Higgins between the hammer and anvil at LA.

How did Naka put it? Things begin as they mean to continue?

>You have to keep these bastards in this room for a few more minutes at all costs. Announce yourself, let them fawn over Arizona for a bit. She can even give an interview.
>You need to get out there and intercept those damn dogs NOW, before they come crashing through those very doors!

42693421 (demetrious) -
>>42693414 →
NEW THREAD

Click to shrink...

 

[Trace Coburn]

KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: WHO LET THE BOATS OUT​

>You need to get out there and intercept those damn dogs NOW, before they come crashing through those very doors!

You think very briefly of introducing Arizona and letting the morons get a camera-full of her for a second - before deciding that having a bunch of microphones shoved in the mute, almost invisible girl's face would end very, very badly. And even if you did, there's no telling which way that pack of furry little bastards will turn.

The only option is to head them off at the strait.

You slip out of the room and break into your fastest hobble with Arizona close at your heels. You make the lobby in time to see a young girl sprinting towards the double glass doors, missing a shoe. Behind her are three corgis, foam flying from their diminutive muzzles as they close on her. You hit the door-bar with your shoulder as you barrel through, but even with the path open you can see the girl isn't going to make it.

>ARIZONA, LIGHT'EM UP
>SAILORS WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING
>PIMP CANE. WAY. STRONG.


>SAILORS WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING

Seeing that the onrushing furry furies are your own, er, vessels, and nominally under your command, you draw yourself up to your full height, suck in a deep lungful of breath and cut loose with your loudest, angriest bellow just as you feel Arizona setting your hat back on your brow.

"SAILORS, CUT THROTTLE AND HEAVE TO!"

The US Navy is a highly professional force that actively recruits good, professional people for its commissioned and warrant officer ranks (most of the time.) Despite that, sailors are still marvelously capable of operating a multimillion dollar sensor suite for months on end with little sleep, till it seems like they are detecting surface contacts unassisted via trance, like the oracle of fucking Delphi - and then they walk off the ship with a laminated illustrated diagram of their "three-drink maximum" tied to their wrist and come back three sheets to the wind, two bells past the point of no return and in possession of a starfish named Betelgeuse. People like this set a man up for the most violent mood swings on Earth, from fatherly pride to aghast with rage in mere heartbeats. You can do Disappointed Dad pretty good, but the time you caught a crew chief (with a fucking college degree, no less) seating 5-inch PD fuzes with a hammer you managed to drag him halfway to the rail before you vanished under a dogpile of Marines. (You still think Hate was miffed at your hypocrisy rather than your intent.) And serving on a Flight I/II boat, which creaks, groans, bitches and generally makes more noise than anything else save a CV's fantail deck has honed your Angry Voice into a LOUD angry voice. The booming thunder of your wrath echoes over the torn-up turf, the corgis little ears twitching as the shockwave passes -

- and they keep plowing on, snarling and barking like tiny madmen, still intent on their prey.


For a second you're so stunned that you just stare dumbfounded as the first one catches the fleeing girl's heel and sinks their teeth in, bringing her to ground. The ragged edge of her scream rips through you, scraping down your nerves and turning your stomach - it echoes somewhere in your mind, around a shattered bridge that's beginning to burn.

By the time you're moving it's too late - the cane is just swinging back like a baseball bat, still too far away to use when the first sharp crack snaps across the yard, one of the corgis jerking violently as Arizona's round hits home. The victim has curled into an incoherent ball, her scream growing hoarse as the others savage her crossed arms, trying for her vitals. Two more shots send them flying, then fleeing at a fast limp, trailing gooey oil from their wounds.

You stumble down to one knee by the girl. "Are you okay?"

The girl - Shigure, you see now - scuttles away from you on hands and knees before bursting into flight again, sobbing wildly and flinging her arms around, her bite wounds trailing little drops of blood on the concrete. By the time you find your feet, she's long gone around the corner of the building.

>We can't leave her like this, not at all - catch her.
>We can't let these goddamn dogs keep running loose - we need to catch them, now.
>Stay on-mission: if Goto's caught out by Kongou with those cameras still on this side of Yokosuka's gate, the consequences could be crucial and far-reaching. Big picture, here.

42694208 -
...Wasn't Shigure at the tea party?

42694229 (demetrious) -
>>42694208
Yes.

42694241 -
>>42694208
the other sluts probably drove her off as soon as [Northampton] turned away

42694225 -
>>42694023
>>We can't leave her like this, not at all - catch her.
those are the PT Boats that attacked the shigure during [Surigao Strait].

42694253 (demetrious) -
>>42694225
bingo

Click to shrink...

42695612 -
>Corgigate
Who gives a shit if corgies attacked a waifu, jesus christ

42695799 -
>>42695612
1) A recurring theme in this quest is shipgirl mental issues. Shigure is already at-risk due to the whole "shun the luck vampire" bullshit; getting mauled by corgis certainly isn't going to help matters any. And if she gets too fucked up in the head, that could affect her performance in combat, or even worse possibly even cause her to go Abyssal.
2) The press were, just minutes ago, floating the issue of out-of-control PT boatdogs. If they get wind of a PT corgi attack on an allied shipgirl occurring during that very press conference where they asked about that exact risk and were assured it was not an issue, we would likely have a literal Corgigate scandal on our hands. We have enough on our plate with the Abyssal threat, the last thing we need is to let the media vultures get wind of something to whip up a bullshit frenzy over to add PR hassles to our list of shit to deal with.
It's got nothing to do with waifus, and everything to do with responsible leadership.

42695858 -
>>42695799
It's not even "attacked by Corgis". If it were a one-time thing it could be a thing to deal with.
But they've been harassing her since the quest started. Our very first contact with Shigure had her atop another tree. We don't know how long this has been the case. Either way, it's at least a week of constant paranoia on top of ostracization on top of her standard shipgirl mental fuckery package.

42695894 -
Reminder that Shigure has been living in fear of these PT boats since literally day 1.

Click to shrink...

>We can't let these goddamn dogs keep running loose - we need to catch them, now.

You swear violently, tossing Arizona the keys to the Jeep. "You drive, hon, I've got to call base security and have them round'em up." With their Outfits summoned, mere pistol bullets will only discourage them - at best. PT boats were basically the motorcycle gangs of the Pacific islands; they strapped any goddamn ordnance they could to the deck and got into frequent shoot-outs with shallow-draft barges bristling with even heavier weaponry. Their campaign was a nautical Mad Max movie that lasted four damn years, in essence - and without a firm hand literally holding their leash, they've reverted to their basic instincts. You were worried that PT-109 might show up to settle a grudge, but it seems Shigure's harassers from Saigurio strait are intent on finishing the job.

Torpedo attack of bigger vessels was the job they were built for, and rarely got to attempt. An involuntary shudder goes through you at the thought, for no reason you can immediately finger.


Following your directions, Arizona curbs the jeep near the closest area of significant greenery, then helps you out to hike the remaining distance, following the trickled trail of blood on the sidewalks to a nearby tree; the beginning of a rough untamed patch in the middle of the base that climbs one of the many very steep hills. Much like the first time you met her, she's taken refuge in the boughs to escape her canine pursuers.

Walking beneath the thick canopy, you touch the trunk gently and look up into the branches. There's a slight rustling above as you're spotted.

"G-go away."

"Shigure?"

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY YOU YANKEE, GO AWAY!"

"Shigure, I'm n-"

"GO TO HELL, ALL OF YOU!" Shigure's youthful voice is strained and brittle.

Arizona taps you on the shoulder to catch your attention, then points you towards a bystander - an extremely bored-looking girl who wears her long dark hair in a single thick braid. She's gazing blankly at the whole tableau with the air of someone staring at something just barely unique enough that they don't know what kind of retarded bullshit to write it off as yet.

"Uh... Kitakami," you say, her name surfacing after a moment. "Could you... uh...?" You gesture at the tree.


She blinks slowly, her head swiveling left, then right to verify that you are, indeed, addressing her. She turns her bored eyes back to you. "You want me to do it?"

You just stare at her, letting her read the "no shit" plastered across you face.

She rolls her shoulders; not quite a shrug. "Fine." Striding beneath the tree, she sighs, crosses her arms, and cranes her neck back to address the branches. "Look, you can't go claiming all the foliage on base. You only get one. You can sulk all you want; nobody's gonna stop you. But at least don't bother everyone else."

"I DON'T! I DON'T! I DON'T!" The canopy thrashes violently with Shigure's unseen frustration. "I J-J-JUST W-W-WANT TO B-B-E LEFT ALONE A-A-AND TH-THEY W-WON'T LEAVE M-ME BE!"

You snap your fingers to get Kitakami's attention, then point out the blood on the ground and tap your leg to indicate that you need her down from there to receive medical attention.

Kitakami sizes up the blood on the ground, quirking her mouth. It's a nontrivial amount. She takes a deep, deep breath as she accepts that she's gonna have to do this. "I don't give a crap what you want, Shigure. Those retarded puffballs are already gone. If you don't come down, I'll pull you out."

"You'll die," Shigure's voice returns with a sudden icy steadiness that sends a pulse of hot alarm through your blood. "They all die. I'll kill you, Kitakami."


Kitakami's lips tighten as she peers into the tree suspiciously. She backs up carefully till she can stand on tiptoe and whisper at you - "I don't think she's bluffing. I could probably get her either way since we can double-team her. Right, ooh-e-" her voice dies off suddenly, and for a second a ripple of emotion crosses her face. Visibly shaken, she turns back to the tree, her tone sounding actively casual now, rather than just flat-out bored. ""Listen. Come down already. We don't have to go hold hands and have a party or anything. I'll just take you back to your room. I'm not afraid of those drooling rejects the Americans brought over." She flips her braid back over her shoulder. "You owe me for this," she tells you with a confidence none of you feel anymore.

There is no reply from the tree. You've had this kind of conversation once - with Somalian pirates holding guns to a tanker crew's head. The quick escalation is bad, very bad - pulling back and calling for help isn't an option anymore. Something has to give and soon, and you're worried it's gonna be Shigure.

>Back off - let Kitakami wait. But if Shigure gives no answer, you and Arizona will be too far away to help if Shigure snaps.
>There's no choice - you have to act now before things go straight to hell. Collude with Kitakami and Arizona to tag-team her, just like Kitakami said. Arizona can bounce any shell Shigure can fling and Kitakami can cut off retreat from the rear.
>Go into that tree yourself and talk her down. An Admiral leads from the front, and you can't expect the girl to trust anyone who won't risk their life for her.

42696460 -
Pretty typical that things that seem minor end up not being so much and the things that seemed major isn't so major.
GGWP planefriend.
tl;dr; we couldn't stop all the cluster fucks from happening. PLANEFG PLAYED US LIKE FIDDLE!

42696517 (GhostDivision) -
>>42696460
I've got it on pretty good authority that you could have mitigated or stopped some of them though. I mean, that's not the way the votes went, pretty clearly, but you could have!
I know, I know. and a snowball could fuck hell all up, right? Hahaha!

Click to shrink...

>Go into that tree yourself and talk her down. An Admiral leads from the front, and you can't expect the girl to trust anyone who won't risk their life for her.

You take a deep breath, examine the situation from all sides and conclude that it is, indeed, a gigantic stinking ball of shit. You have a star, now. You're promoted. Why are the balls still full-sized by the time they roll into your lap?

You've already crossed underneath the branches before Arizona's slender hand seizes your wrist with an iron grip. You look back at her, matching her stern expression with one of your own. "Arizona, let me go."

She stares you down, her delicate face hardened against your pleas - perhaps literally face hardened now, given the steel in the grip crushing your wrist. She shakes her head firmly - once.

"That's an *order,* Arizona."

She flinches as if slapped - and releases your wrist. You seize the lower boughs and swing your legs into the branches over your head before she can object, hissing in pain as the hole in your right thigh makes itself known. The weakness forces you to pull your torso after your legs with your arms, leaving you sweating and sans cover by the time you sit up in the boughs -

- and find yourself staring down the rifling of Shigure's five-inch gun, her dark, empty eyes right behind it.

"Leave."

"Can't."

"In pieces, you can," Shigure says. "Leave, or I kill you."


"Better me than you," you reply. "I come out of this tree without you, I get court-martialed, I eat a bullet after I'm humiliated before the world."

"Like anyone needs *me,*" she hisses. "Just ask that gangrene b-b-bITCH below you, listen t-to her sneer a-t us-"

"You can't be replaced," you reply. "I can."

"SHUT UP!" she screams. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Her eyes are wild and her finger is twitching on a trigger you can't see - turrets don't exactly come equipped for one-handed wielding, after all. But you know you're millimeters away from riding a five-inch shell into hell. Part of you wants to snap, wants to scream, wants to tell her to fish or cut bait, piss or get off the pot, blow your head off or get out of the fucking tree - part of you just wants to slap her and scream till she makes up her fucking mind because you've been sitting in this tree for sixteen months and some mornings you wake up and-

- and do your job. Always, your job. It's why you're here. You feel the words rise to your lips - the logic, the truth - and let them drop away again, unsaid. Somehow, staring down the barrel of a gun held by someone quite willing to use it, you just don't care anymore. The energy to balance on the tightrope just isn't there, much less the inclination.

"Just do it," you whisper - mouth, even. Her wild eyes barely twitch at this as you lock gazes. She sneers, or grimaces, *something,* but you just roll your shoulders.

Why did you get into this fucking tree, anyway? Did you think she'd listen, in her state? Did you think a mere demonstration of selflessness would have her melting in your arms? You already stared down Kaga's arrow-shaft when you underestimated the live-wire under the innocent, youthful exterior - you just watched the fucking "cute" corgis maul her with a savagery you've scarce seen.

Why?

*Why*?

Well, who fucking cares, now, what's she fucking WAITING on?


"*He* was like that," Shigure says, her voice hot and trembling on the edge of madness. "S-so sensetive. S-ss-o h-h-hheroic." Her grimace becomes a teeth-grinding snarl. "A-always w-w-with h-his b-b-bunc-c-unt n-next tt-to him l-like y-you, I kill you she kills ME, so what a-are you r-risking y-you Y-yankee CUNT? GOING TO MAKE SURE OF IT THIS TIME!?" Her voice seems to bash in your eardrums and vibrate in your diaphragm, but you just stare back into those wild, frantic eyes. "I DON'T CARE HOW SPECIAL I AM! I DON'T WANT TO BE SPECIAL!"

You open your mouth to retort and she smashes the gun into your throat, shock shooting through your jaw as the muzzle chips a molar. Her finger twitches on the illusory trigger, her entire frame heaving with her ragged breaths. *"I DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK! I WANTED TO STAY DEAD!" The gun is dragged from your mouth and pressed against her head, the air split apart by -

- WRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Shigure stares at you like you just sprouted tulips from your taint.

And then the entire tree *shifts.*

42697035 -
>>42696841
>"*He* was like that," Shigure says, her voice hot and trembling on the edge of madness. "S-so sensetive. S-ss-o h-h-hheroic." Her grimace becomes a teeth-grinding snarl. "A-always w-w-with h-his b-b-bunc-c-unt n-next tt-to him l-like y-you
She's talking about Goto here, I take it?

42697329 -
>>42697035
There's no way she isn't, assuming the 'bun cunt' is Kongou

42697376 (demetrious) -
>>42697035
(Yes, yes she was)

Click to shrink...

The sickening feel of acceleration hits your stomach all at once and you snatch at the trunk, hugging it as vertigo sends sheer instinctive terror surging through your system. Shigure screams, her hands snatching the trunk and dropping her gun as the entire goddamn tree goes over. It hits with a shock that flings you both into the tangled canopy, where you lie, stunned, contemplating the sunny summer sky.

"Fuckers." Looming into view above you is a massive, rough-looking man who's slinging a chainsaw the size of a medium machine gun; a blade which apparently sliced through the maple's modest trunk like it wasn't there. A dirty piece of masking tape on the engine housing identifies it as 'kshewwww whumwhumwhumwhum'," which you dizzly guess isn't elvish.

Shigure's already staggering upright, weaponless - for the moment. The mechanic - Crab, you realize - spares you his poisonous look of disgust long enough to look up into the middle distance with an even more vile expression. "Fuck me *sideways*, who's *this* bitch?"

Shigure turns to look over her shoulder, and there's a brief rusty-red blur in the vauge shape of a pipe wrench. Something CLANGS with metal-on-metal contact and Shigure drops like the proverbial sack of hammers.

Crab drops the massive chainsaw and leans over, hands on his knees, to stare at you. "You."


"Yo."

He holds up one hand to count off for you. "Fuck." Index finger. "You." Ring finger. "Very. Much." He thinks. "Asshole," he finishes, adding the thumb. "All... of this... *this,* he says, waving his hands at you like he's trying to waft away dogshit stench. Just... fuck you." He bends down and comes up with the wrench and saw in either hand. "*Fuck* you." He strides away towards his own vehicle, parked only a few feet away, hurls his tools in the back. He flips you the bird over the back of the battered motor pool SUV's seat and leans on the horn as he drives away, spraying you, Arizona and Kitakami with gravel as he peels out from the shoulder.

You stagger upright to receive the steeliest look from Arizona you have ever received from anyone - Chief Machinists included. Kitakami slides her eyes from Arizona over to you, her eyebrows hitching a fraction of an inch as if saying, 'wew, lad.'

Well, on the bright side - at least you're out of the tree.

42696938 (demetrious) -
Okay, NOW we are done for the night. I need to sit down and process just how badly anon fucked up tonight. Well, not that they really fucked up - it's in character, perfectly, almost too much so - something like this was bound to happen.
A few of the possibilities had Shigure actually successfully blowing her brains out. So you managed to avoid that. Still, I thought tonight was going to be LOL KONGOU SHENANIGANS and... here we are.
That's the strange thing about quests - no matter how much I fucking plan them, the best threads tend to just... happen. I'm gonna try to free up some time Friday for at least one thread, so we can get a bit further on Sunday.

42696966 -
>>42696938
>Still, I thought tonight was going to be LOL KONGOU SHENANIGANS
How were you expecting that when you were the one who made the Corgis maul Shigure and cause her to almost successfully kill herself?

42696973 -
>>42696966
I'm wondering the same. How do the choices given stop this?
I guess leaving her alone would have avoided it actually now that i typed this.

42697026 -
>>42696973
I suppose we could have stopped the Corgis when they were chasing the landscaper, or tried a more effective approach to stopping the Corgis (actual physical violence).
But in the first case, we were considering the possibility of a massive media shitstorm versus previously embarrassing but ultimately harmless shenanigans, so why would we be expected to stop the Corgis?
As for the second, those dogs were in their fit outs, judging how they were able to take Arizona's gunshots; hitting them with a cane wouldn't have stopped them.
That and what good is a flag officer if his sailors won't listen to his orders?

42697012 -
>>42696938
well anon focused on preventing them and in turn unleashing a far worse clusterfuck. Assuming our refusal to talk to Hate didn't play a rule in it. Given [demetrious]' tear drinking tendencies, it's hard to believe you didn't have it happen intentionally.
Best thread? Some people might end up quitting as "the only way to win is not to play"

42697101 (demetrious) -
>>42696979
>>That's the strange thing about quests - no matter how much I fucking plan them, the best threads tend to just... happen. I'm gonna try to free up some time Friday for at least one thread, so we can get a bit further on [Saturday].
>But this is fucking bullshit you should've expected something on this level when you sicced the corgis on Shigure whom you'd already built up as A Potential problem.
>>42696973
>I guess leaving her alone would have avoided it actually now that i typed this.
I literally offered anon a "FIRE INTO THE CEILING AND SHOUT" vote. Alongside the sane ones. In my experience, the insane one always wins, no matter how evenly you present the votes. But then anon was super sane and responsible...
... until they weren't. But I can't even say it was a "bad" vote; it's the kind of thing that has already worked for Settle a few times - until he got into that tree, realized that this time, the Raw, Direct Admission wasn't going to work. That this time, the shipgirl would not be Moved By His Sympathetic Traumas. No. This time, she was just going to snap and fucking kill someone - maybe him, maybe herself, maybe manifest an ashcan and blow everyone in 40 feet into a fine red mist.
Trusting ktkm to talk down a destroyer would've resulted in Shigure's head being reconfigured as a canoe. The triple takedown would've worked, but would've involved putting Arizona in the line of fire, which Settle is adverse to both in and out of character. And the choice they chose - well, it resulted in Crab just cutting Gordian's knot and walking away muttering about fucking drama whores.

42697176 (demetrious) -
>>42697012
>well anon focused on preventing them and in turn unleashing a far worse clusterfuck. Assuming our refusal to talk to Hate didn't play a rule in it.
Anon has consistently blown off almost every single "talk to Hate" vote ever presented to them, and I've made no secret that the man is a powder keg under incredible pressure, which has recently taken a violent turn for the worse.
>Given your tear drinking tendencies, it's hard to believe you didn't have it happen intentionally.
I've set up this scene from the very beginning of the quest - from the night that Settle first encountered Shigure treed by the goddamn Corgis. Anon's write-in was funny, so I went with it, but anon chose to let it ride at the time, which was reasonable enough. And now you're gonna cry foul because Settle finally put his foot into a livetrap that actually went off?
>write as normal
"Lol planefriend will never kill a character"
>write this
"Wow that was just intentionally mean i'mma quit"
I dunno, man. I dunno. Can't please everyone, I guess. But on the balance? Shigure did nothing wrong - and I'd have killed her faster than Yuma and BearBint had the votes gone that way.

42697155 -
>>42697101
>The triple takedown would've worked, but would've involved putting Arizona in the line of fire, which Settle is adverse to both in and out of character.
Thus proving Hate's point.
Fucking hell, we should just put him and Crab in charge. We clearly can't be trusted.

42697162 (CPL Hate) -
DON'T YOU PUT THAT FUCKING EVIL ON ME.
42697178 -
SAYS THE GUY WHO LET THE CORGIS HUNT DOWN SHIGURE.
42697193 -
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IWO JIMA, BITCH.
NAAAAAAAAAAAAH GOTTA PLAY THE WAIFU GAME THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT

42697318 (demetrious) -
Most Honorable Fuck.jpg
>>42697131
>Honestly, this is the most fun I've had with the quest since the very beginning. Thank you for making something actually matter, even if it felt sort of contrived. This SoL shit was getting on my nerves.
inorite
>>42697155
>Thus proving Hate's point.
Yep. Of course Hate's projecting like a motherfucker himself, but nigga ain't blind, no sir.
>>42697193
geewhiz eh?
>>42697162 (CPL Hate) -
>DON'T YOU PUT THAT FUCKING EVIL ON ME.
No prob LT, have you bought your bars from the PX yet?
>>42697235
>Day 3, after the battle with Iowa and Oregon, was a bad day for Settle as well.
>Seems like after everyone's been shook up all these bad sentiments rise to the top.
Also this. Sometimes bad shit happens, and there's not a fucking thing anon can do about it, nor Settle. That's exactly what Settle was thinking in the tree, staring down the gun barrel - sometimes, there's just no magic win button, no easy fix. Why he got into that tree anyways is an important part of his personality, namely-
>>42697245
>Settle did his job. What more can you ask?
THIS. THIS. THIS GUY GETS IT. THIS. Sometimes doing your job is a dirty, ugly task.
>That's good for keeping things lively, yeah, I totally understand, but it's kinda unfair to hoist this entirely on us.
Not "all of you," just... just the salty ones out there should understand that I harbor my fucks very carefully, and I've seen how fast some anons can turn on a dime from voting for the sweetest waifuing to things like "force Sammy to kill her own pet dogs." If that write-up ever actually won I'd write Sammy going abyssal and slaughtering half the base and laugh myself sick doing it, too. Because what the fuck, people. Those people? They are not worthy of most honorable fuck. They can never pass The Trials.

42698007 (demetrious) -
>>42697856
>>42697865
>you keep giving us two hard choices that's not fair
In case you haven't noticed, Settle is, actually, for real, racing from crisis to crisis quite fast. He's been on base nine days, and he's already been in the hospital three times and led his forces in one serious battle-line skirmish and one major carrier battle. Crucial, basic tasks that need doing are constantly delayed as even more severe crisis pop up, most of them resulting from crucial basic tasks that were delayed for a while in favor of a crisis until they also became a crisis.
In short, there's a fucking war on and this is a war story. That's the POINT. If you want a story where characters do not suffer and shit does not go sideways despite everyone's best efforts, GermanSchteel is thataway --->

Click to shrink...

(Archivist's note: I've included only a choice selection of the post-session conversation in the above quote-box, since there's just SO GODDAMN MUCH of that discussion. A lot of it is pretty salty, but there are some damned good and insightful points raised, as well.)

 

[Always Late]

CAN'T BONGOU THE KONGOU

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I don't get it.

"Sorry, the irony hit me all at OW!"

She fingershakes with the same hand she used to smack you upside the head, smiling sweetly. "Careful, Admiral. If Kaga hears you she might turn so red that she stops traffic. So, who are you taking?"

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Heh.

She shakes her head, and for a second her eyes flash with frustration. She scowls at you, her delicate eyebrows making the attempt almost comical, and adopts the hunched over look of someone at a keyboard with a mouse in their hands. She might not know computers, but a 40s girl knows a QWERTY keyboard without fail (the Smith-Corona company's stock went up fifteen points after the JSDF signed a supply contract with them, more on publicity than anything,) so you can't miss her exaggerated air-typing as she reaches for a key only modern boards have.

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That raises a good point: Why hasn't Arizona gotten a text-to-speech device/smartphone if she's mute?

"... spreadsheets."

She actually *smiles* at you now, a little animation in her expression.

"... schedule! His schedule?"

She smiles so widely that she actually closes her eyes for a moment - and all this time you thought it was just an emoticon.

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Arizona, best shipdaughter.

For a second the mental image of you saluting Japan as you motor into the bay, one foot on the back of a tiny little Outfitted corgi each strikes you as you're unlocking your phone, and its everything you can do to keep in the giggles.

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No... Nononono.

"His schedule... ah. Press conference."

Arizona blinks.

Arizona trades a look with Shoukaku.

They both look at you.

"Oh *fuck,*" you snap. "Get to the damn jeep!"

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Kongou crashing a press conference to sexually assault a flag officer in public? Even in hindsight, that had to be avoided.

It mainly gets used when a Marine does something fucking retarded, though the incident two years back with the drunk boomer guys and the drone might outweigh the entire Corps alone.

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There a story behind that?

Tailoring a maid outfit to fit it was, as the JAG put it, a "clear sign of premeditation," something which cannot be said of most Marine NJP-worthy incidents.

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And that?

(Archivist's note: innocuous though it may seem, this decision-point seems to be where things this session really started to come unstuck.)

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That plot point's been building since day 1, and since we intentionally sicc'd the corgi's on Shigure.

"A combined conventional/nonconventional force from Norway intercepted and destroyed Abyssal raiders operating in the North Sea just two days ago." He gestures at the screen behind him, which begins playing a short clip. It shows something vaguely humanoid-shaped flailing weakly in the North Sea coastal fog, a creature that seems to be made entirely of dogs. After a few more staggering steps it falls flat on its face, a snarling little creature attached to every biteable surface area. The camera pulls out long enough to pan over to the deck of a Skjold-class corvette, where a few men are idly smoking as they watch the tableau.

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So we're not the only ones with corgi PT boats. We just happen to have the ones what haven't been trained.

"Admiral Goto, does the JSDF consider the IJN Yamato a greater threat to japan than the warship that iconizes the American defeat at Pearl Harbor?"

Goto seems to stop *moving* for a heartbeat; a figure with heavily-sketched edges, static upon the page. Then he lifts a finger, slowly, pointing at the offender. "Get out."

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Goto made the right call. That reporter hasn't got an ounce of integrity, asking a loaded question like that.

"As you can see," Goto's cold voice slices through the room, "the JSDF knows very well what we can expect of shipgirls who come back on their own."

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Interesting choice of words, with two very different implications. One, that a battleship would serve above and beyond, in the face of horrific injury. Two, that the omni-present paranoia of 'what if they turn on us' makes a battleship an enemy you don't want to fight.

Just below the murmur that's beginning to resurface your ears detect a terrible, terrible sound - the faint little howls of hunting Corgis, and worse, the breathy, shrill scream of a girl being pursued.

Click to shrink...

And here we go...

You make the lobby in time to see a young girl sprinting towards the double glass doors, missing a shoe. Behind her are three corgis, foam flying from their diminutive muzzles as they close on her.

Click to shrink...

The one's advocating killing the corgi's kinda have a point here. What happens to the rabid dog that attacks and seriously harms a kid? It gets taken to a vet and put down.

The booming thunder of your wrath echoes over the torn-up turf, the corgis little ears twitching as the shockwave passes -

- and they keep plowing on, snarling and barking like tiny madmen, still intent on their prey.

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What did anon expect? These aren't trained soldiers, those dogs aren't even housebroken.

The girl - Shigure, you see now - scuttles away from you on hands and knees before bursting into flight again, sobbing wildly and flinging her arms around, her bite wounds trailing little drops of blood on the concrete. By the time you find your feet, she's long gone around the corner of the building.

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This is a worse scandal: Ill-disciplined american PT boats mounting a campaign of abuse and terror on a shipgirl, to the point she's willing to go Abyssal, to kill someone, or herself? Makes the Okinawa Marine scandal look tame.

Walking beneath the thick canopy, you touch the trunk gently and look up into the branches. There's a slight rustling above as you're spotted.

"G-go away."

"Shigure?"

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY YOU YANKEE, GO AWAY!"

"Shigure, I'm n-"

"GO TO HELL, ALL OF YOU!" Shigure's youthful voice is strained and brittle.

Click to shrink...

They were warned.

Kitakami sizes up the blood on the ground, quirking her mouth. It's a nontrivial amount. She takes a deep, deep breath as she accepts that she's gonna have to do this. "I don't give a crap what you want, Shigure. Those retarded puffballs are already gone. If you don't come down, I'll pull you out."

"You'll die," Shigure's voice returns with a sudden icy steadiness that sends a pulse of hot alarm through your blood. "They all die. I'll kill you, Kitakami."

Click to shrink...

Am I the only one getting Taylor Hebert vibes here?

She backs up carefully till she can stand on tiptoe and whisper at you - "I don't think she's bluffing. I could probably get her either way since we can double-team her. Right, ooh-e-" her voice dies off suddenly, and for a second a ripple of emotion crosses her face.

Click to shrink...

So Ooichi's either dead or hasn't come back.

>Go into that tree yourself and talk her down. An Admiral leads from the front, and you can't expect the girl to trust anyone who won't risk their life for her.

Click to shrink...

Anons are idiots.

The weakness forces you to pull your torso after your legs with your arms, leaving you sweating and sans cover by the time you sit up in the boughs -

- and find yourself staring down the rifling of Shigure's five-inch gun, her dark, empty eyes right behind it.

"Leave."

"Can't."

"In pieces, you can," Shigure says. "Leave, or I kill you."

"Better me than you," you reply. "I come out of this tree without you, I get court-martialed, I eat a bullet after I'm humiliated before the world."

"Like anyone needs *me,*" she hisses. "Just ask that gangrene b-b-bITCH below you, listen t-to her sneer a-t us-"

"You can't be replaced," you reply. "I can."

"SHUT UP!" she screams. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

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Gangrene... Kitakami's that caustic?

Why did you get into this fucking tree, anyway? Did you think she'd listen, in her state? Did you think a mere demonstration of selflessness would have her melting in your arms? You already stared down Kaga's arrow-shaft when you underestimated the live-wire under the innocent, youthful exterior - you just watched the fucking "cute" corgis maul her with a savagery you've scarce seen.

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Because anon can't into consequences, but that's Settle's job.

"*He* was like that," Shigure says, her voice hot and trembling on the edge of madness. "S-so sensetive. S-ss-o h-h-hheroic." Her grimace becomes a teeth-grinding snarl. "A-always w-w-with h-his b-b-bunc-c-unt n-next tt-to him l-like y-you, I kill you she kills ME, so what a-are you r-risking y-you Y-yankee CUNT? GOING TO MAKE SURE OF IT THIS TIME!?" Her voice seems to bash in your eardrums and vibrate in your diaphragm, but you just stare back into those wild, frantic eyes. "I DON'T CARE HOW SPECIAL I AM! I DON'T WANT TO BE SPECIAL!"

You open your mouth to retort and she smashes the gun into your throat, shock shooting through your jaw as the muzzle chips a molar. Her finger twitches on the illusory trigger, her entire frame heaving with her ragged breaths. *"I DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK! I WANTED TO STAY DEAD!" The gun is dragged from your mouth and pressed against her head,

Click to shrink...

There's half my characterization notes for USS Laffey.

And very enlightening post-thread discussion. PF's been talking about 'anon will choose the insane vote everytime' long before this, so I'm not sure why he's so surprised. Not to mention, PF keeps saying he'd kill characters, but then Crab out of nowhere 'saves' the day. Deus Ex machina, doesn't get much more plain that that.

 

[wildredlifer]

The title irked me something awful. Kongou is not stupid and honestly do you think this is his first press conference considering how long he has been in command of the girls.

 

[CompassJimbo]

This has turned into one of the greatest clusterfucks I have ever seen.

 

[Always Late]

Kongou is not stupid

Click to shrink...

The anime shows different. And even of you ignore that and stick with just the quest, Kongou's still overly energetic and Admiral-hungry. If she wants to tackle Goto to the ground and make burning love to him in front of a group of reporters, how are you going to stop her?

honestly, do you think this is his first press conference considering how long he has been in command of the girls.

Click to shrink...

Probably not, he's been at this a few years. However, how many times do you think the entire room of reporters has been that aggressive and demanding on the Yamato issue? I'd wager not very.

 

[CompassJimbo]

If she wants to tackle Goto to the ground and make burning love to him in front of a group of reporters, how are you going to stop her?

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With a Pensylvannia-class battleship.

 

[Always Late]

With a Pensylvannia-class battleship.

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You now have USS Arizona in a slugging match with her right outside the press conference room. That's the kind of thing commands are relieved and officers transferred over. Face it, there was no right choice there. As a quest, that's bad form. But as a military story, that's inevitable.

 

[Firefinder12-B]

Ok note to self, turn off Internet when ever I touch alcohol, I loss my mind and post shit I shouldn't. Sorry about that.

 

[Always Late]

Ok note to self, turn off Internet when ever I touch alcohol, I loss my mind and post shit I shouldn't. Sorry about that.

Click to shrink...

What did you do?

 

[CompassJimbo]

Ok note to self, turn off Internet when ever I touch alcohol, I loss my mind and post shit I shouldn't. Sorry about that.

Click to shrink...

Jesus, man.

 

[Chojomeka]

Do note that KOC!Kongou isn't stupid....she's just gotten desperate due to the fact that Goto has rebuffed her for sixteen months, she's also got Yamato to deal with as a potential love rival, the American forces have shown up and Shoukaku has already made further advances with a Teitoku then Kongou has made at all.

 

[Always Late]

Do note that KOC!Kongou isn't stupid....she's just gotten desperate due to the fact that Goto has rebuffed her for sixteen months, she's also got Yamato to deal with as a potential love rival, the American forces have shown up and Shoukaku has already made further advances with a Teitoku then Kongou has made at all.

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Really? That's one unique way of expressing it then. Given PF's love of mental trauma and punishing short-sighted actions, I would have thought desperate Kongou would involve more crying and wailing.

 

[wildredlifer]

The anime hah they butchered Kongou. The light novels and other official manga not counting the fubuki 4-koma don't have her act anyway near that bad.

 

[Always Late]

The anime hah they butchered Kongou. The light novels and other official manga not counting the fubuki 4-koma don't have her act anyway near that bad.

Click to shrink...

The Quest still has Kongou possessing no sense of discretion.

 

[defenestrator]

Ok note to self, turn off Internet when ever I touch alcohol, I loss my mind and post shit I shouldn't. Sorry about that.

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Yes, that is a good decision. Maybe include not posting the exact same lines in two different sites (three if you include 4chan) to that?

Jesus H. Christ. I'm reading the archives now, and you were hell of a hate magnet.

 

[Aires Drake]

Ok note to self, turn off Internet when ever I touch alcohol, I loss my mind and post shit I shouldn't. Sorry about that.

Click to shrink...

Generally, I find that it helps to never do anything on a computer after drinking. I learned this in college after a friend threw up on his keyboard.

 

[Firefinder12-B]

Yes, that is a good decision. Maybe include not posting the exact same lines in two different sites (three if you include 4chan) to that?

Jesus H. Christ. I'm reading the archives now, and you were hell of a hate magnet.

Click to shrink...

Meh... Just words on the screen and within the week people will be laughing about if they ain't now.

Anyways idea from the other site.

The Navy has a K-9 unit. Think they could help with the corgis?

 

[Firefinder12-B]

Looking thought my rating given I found this.

I'm shock @U.N.Spacy000 hasn't repost this.

A red eyed Dakota hid in the bushes with her rigging. Other ship girls that passed her gave her strange looks, but they did not understand. None of the others understood the mad terror from the sky. None of them had to worry about the roar of twin engines heralding the smell of beer and luck strike cigarettes as their radar went screwy because a dilapidated, under powered crate of an aircraft decided to drop out of the sky onto their heads. This time though, Dakota was ready. The sun had set, and Dakota was ready for what would happen. The appointed time of the bounce was approaching, and Dakota was prepared.

She had turned her internal radar array off and was solely focusing her old mark one eyeballs in the direction she knew they would come from. It would be the same direction they had always come from with the moon to their back. This time, she was ready with her rigging, and all of her 5"/38 guns were loaded and brought to bear. This time, she was ready, and when Dakota struck down her tiny assailants, Dakota would hold them hostage until Yvonne gave her ALL of her stupid hippie ice cream. Then, Dakota would eat it all right in front of her. Revenge would be delicious.

Dakota had thought had tried to ignore the twin engine aircraft - she really had. She had cut down on her late night parties and games with the other ship girls so she could hide in her room when the menace came for her, but the tiny aircraft broke her window with a few shots before it flew into the room, pulled a hard turn while it spewed firecrackers and cherry bombs before it flew out of her room. That was when Dakota had decided that something, anything, needed to be done, so she set an ambush for them.

Her first four attempts failed because the tiny fighter managed to get the jump on her, but she learned a great deal of when and where they came from. Her fifth attempt failed as she discovered that butterfly nets could not stop twin engine aircraft. Attempt six led her to decide that she should not ask Tenryuu or her charges for advice. Her seventh attempt resulted in her knocking Nagato unconscious by accident. She was still attempting to get the maple syrup out of her hair from the eighth try, and had not even bothered to clean the potato off of her uniform from the ninth attempt. However, on this tenth try, she was going back to basics with simple, effective dual purpose artillery. There would be no more over complicated plans. She would simply shoot them down.

Hours passed, and not a sign of the hell diving, ghost riding, flame spewing night attack aircraft was seen or heard by Dakota.

She didn't even notice the extra weight on her shoulder until she heard a single, "Hey."

Dakota turned her head and was about to chastise her faerie for distracting her until she saw them. There were three faeries on her shoulder. One wore knight's armor while the other two wore United States Army Air Force uniforms. Two of them - the one in armor and the USAAF faerie with a sword - held cases of ice cream. The third and final faerie had an ice cream cone and was licking at it when he noticed Dakota was staring at him.

He straightened up, pointed at her with his ice cream cone, and said, "Smalltime."

Dakota blinked before she smiled and reached for the trio of faeries only to stop when the one with the ice cream cone raised a tiny M1911 into the air and started firing it wildly as he screamed smalltime over and over while they escaped into the bushes.

Dakota was stunned until she heard a small exclamation of 'desu' and saw a black haired faerie with a white eye patch run after the other three. That was when she realized that the three little faeries had stolen the ice cream from her. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she did.

As she reached toward the heavens with her shaking fist to curse them, the base intercom came alive with a screech and a high pitch voice shouted, "SMALLTIME!"

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Link SPOILERS - KanColle: The Greatest Gen Discussion Thread (with Spoilers) | Page 43

Not sorry for the double post.

 

[Trace Coburn]

I don't get it.

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It's a reference to a a Danny Kaye song (listen to the chorus). Some KanColle fans use 'bongo the Kongō' as slang for 'fraternising' with a certain love-starved fast battleship.

That raises a good point: Why hasn't Arizona gotten a text-to-speech device/smartphone if she's mute?

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So far, we've seen that Arizona doesn't speak aloud, but AFAIK there's no conclusive evidence that she can't. For all we know, she simply chooses not to use words.

There a story behind that?

And that?

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I think those two sentences are referring to the same incident, actually. Sounds like a classic Noodle Incident to me.

That plot point's been building since day 1, and since we intentionally sicc'd the corgi's on Shigure.

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Perhaps, but as demetrious himself notes, that was about when he realised that the natural consequences of anon's decisions were veering away from 'another thread full of Wacky Hijinks' towards 'oh shit, Anon finally stepped on one of Yokosuka's plethora of landmines'.

So we're not the only ones with corgi PT boats. We just happen to have the ones what haven't been trained.

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Not an assumption I would be comfortable making, but that might just be me.

Am I the only one getting Taylor Hebert vibes here?

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Not, you certainly are not. Especially not with Kitakami's casual comment about 'a little bullying' in the next session. I didn't much like her after that mean-spirited prank she pulled on Willie with the chequered paint, but that remark at the start of Thread #63 made it clear that she's a bully on a far wider scale, and God did it make me despise her.

So Ooichi's either dead or hasn't come back.

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No, Ooi's on-base, but she's not associating with Kitakami right now. Read Crix's side-story for more details.

Gangrene... Kitakami's that caustic?

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She's green (the uniform), (her attitude) stinks to high heaven, and she cruelly and mercilessly corrodes anything she touches. Personally, I think it fits entirely too well.

 

[Always Late]

Not an assumption I would be comfortable making, but that might just be me.

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They've been going after Shigure long and hard enough to draw blood. Plenty of people pointed out the consequences of friendly fire.

No, Ooi's on-base, but she's not associating with Kitakami right now. Read Crix's side-story for more details.

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Ah. There's apparently alot of side-stories in-thread that I've missed.

Perhaps, but as demetrious himself notes, that was about when he realised that the natural consequences of anon's decisions were veering away from 'another thread full of Wacky Hijinks' towards 'oh shit, Anon finally stepped on one of Yokosuka's plethora of landmines'.

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Gotta love the total lack of memory by anons.

Not, you certainly are not.

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Clearly Settle needs to work with Shigure more. If we apply Worm logic to how PF writes, we'll have Khepri Shigure Kai Ni in no time!

 

[wildredlifer]

Funny thing is Kongou is one of Goto's rocks odds are with out her he would have killed himself through overwork or been relieved for a psych break.
Also I find it hilarious that alot of anons think Kongou would jump for Goto's swanch uh no she was built in the early 1900's in England to boot no ding ding with out wedding ring kinda girl .
Tease,flirt and if her man was overworking himself make him take breaks by force if necessary . By the way there are very good tea's for that reduce stress and high blood pressure hmm i wonder what tea's an over stressed admiral may be getting from his Fast battleship pursuer. 16 months of this and the anons think honestly Goto couldn't have put a stop to this if he felt it absolutely necessary.

 

[Aires Drake]

It's a reference to a a Danny Kaye song (listen to the chorus). Some KanColle fans use 'bongo the Kongō' as slang for 'fraternising' with a certain love-starved fast battleship.


So far, we've seen that Arizona doesn't speak aloud, but AFAIK there's no conclusive evidence that she can't. For all we know, she simply chooses not to use words.

I think those two sentences are referring to the same incident, actually. Sounds like a classic Noodle Incident to me.

Perhaps, but as demetrious himself notes, that was about when he realised that the natural consequences of anon's decisions were veering away from 'another thread full of Wacky Hijinks' towards 'oh shit, Anon finally stepped on one of Yokosuka's plethora of landmines'.

Not an assumption I would be comfortable making, but that might just be me.

Not, you certainly are not. Especially not with Kitakami's casual comment about 'a little bullying' in the next session. I didn't much like her after that mean-spirited prank she pulled on Willie with the chequered paint, but that remark at the start of Thread #63 made it clear that she's a bully on a far wider scale, and God did it make me despise her.

No, Ooi's on-base, but she's not associating with Kitakami right now. Read Crix's side-story for more details.

She's green (the uniform), (her attitude) stinks to high heaven, and she cruelly and mercilessly corrodes anything she touches. Personally, I think it fits entirely too well.

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One thing we know of Arizona is that she squeaks. It is adorable and amazing. Also, NEVER upset Arizona. She gets even, not mad.

 

[Trace Coburn]

They've been going after Shigure long and hard enough to draw blood. Plenty of people pointed out the consequences of friendly fire.

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I was more referring to the likelihood that the PT-equivalents of other nations could well be dealing with similar issues. From Goto's press-conference:

"Admiral, in light of the many safety complaints regarding the unpredictability of the canine-type ship spirits reported by Swedish, Norwegian, and German news media, do you think allowing the USN detachment of returned PT boats patrol the Sea of Japan was a better choice than purchasing a new domestic littoral vessel?"

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As noted by anon in-thread, these aren't just 'dogs'; they're also the spirits of forty-knot plywood boats that were crammed full of fuel, guns, explosives, and testosterone-poisoned teenagers, then sent out to try and kill anything they found, up to and including battleships. There was at least one instance in the Guadalcanal campaign where a group of PT boats had to be talked out of attacking an American convoy after it had identified itself, 'just in case' it was actually a Japanese unit! I would imagine that impulse-control, especially when faced with 'enemies' from their first life, is a major issue for PT-Corgis and their various counterparts regardless of breed, nationality, and allegiance.