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Jeanne d'Arc: The Hundred-Years Waifu War

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Since you mentioned PPSSPP, I'm pretty sure the formatting for the text there isn't the game's fault, but yours for playing it without the proper fonts.

Said emulator doesn't have the default psp fonts, so it uses its own, so when a game tries to use them it causes issues like what you're seeing.
 
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Eopia said:
Since you mentioned PPSSPP, I'm pretty sure the formatting for the text there isn't the game's fault, but yours for playing it without the proper fonts.

Said emulator doesn't have the default psp fonts, so it uses its own, so when a game tries to use them it causes issues like what you're seeing.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
... thank you very much, I just fixed the issue in five minutes.

So the fucked text will continue through the next stage, everyone, but after that it's smooth sailing.
 
Eopia said:
Since you mentioned PPSSPP, I'm pretty sure the formatting for the text there isn't the game's fault, but yours for playing it without the proper fonts.

Said emulator doesn't have the default psp fonts, so it uses its own, so when a game tries to use them it causes issues like what you're seeing.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Huh, I was wondering about that.
 
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Update Three: Jeanne d'Arc The Famous Pacifist
  • Threadmarks



    • Is anyone here?!"


    Madaaaame! Someone, answer me!!!"

    Well at least he's finally changed expressions. I think Roger only has two sprites.



    No..."


    Somewhere nearby Solid Snake presses up against a pinup of a sexy lady and taps her crotch, instantly alerting Liane and everyone else in the vicinity.

    Alternatively, she notices the fucking cursor right fucking there holy shit get it away get out go


    village! Find him, no matter what the cost!"
    "Treat?"
    "No treat!"
    "Grawl :C"



    "What? A survivor?"
    "... quack?"
    "Ah, just a duck."
    "Phew!"
    "Waaaaaaaaaitaminute!"



    "JEAAAAAAAAAAANE!"
    "LIAAAAAAAANE!"
    "JEAAAAAAAAAAANE!"
    "LIAAAAAAAAANE!"
    "JEAAAAAAAAAAAANE!"
    "LIAAAAAAAAAANE!"




    "INUYASHA!"
    "KAGOME!"
    "SHREK!"
    "DONKEY!"



    "... sh-should we-?"
    "Give him a minute."


    "You alright?"
    "Yeah, just... *puff* *pant* bit winded..."
    "Alright, take a breather. Also die."


    I'll hold them off!"
    "Roger?!"


    "Take my polygonal shovel-hand and run!"
    "... All right."
     
  • Threadmarks


    • Jeanne?"

    This scene seems to be written as if the two events were taking place further away than they actually are. Roger is literally just out of frame in the top right corner.


    "Just the voices, no biggie."


    ne!"



    What is our first priority?


    [Miss Piggy sobbing noises as Liane hides in a ditch.]


    "Hooray, 500 more free gold pieces!"
    "Do you have a magnet in your ass!?"
    "Apparently!"



    Roger starts relatively strong, with more HP than the levelled-up Jeanne. The orc he just struck attacks him again on its phase and he annihilates it on the counterattack.



    Jeanne makes it to his side in the second turn, but Khorne is angered that she refused to obey him earlier, and makes her miss a 95% chance to hit.



    The armlet?!"
    <FOR FUCK'S SAKE YES THE FUCKING ARMLET YOU KNOW THE MAGIC FUCKING ARMLET YOU JUST FUCKING FOUND CHAOS FUCKING DAMMIT I WILL FUCKING SKULLFUCK YOU AND DROWN YOU IN MY FUCKING FLAMING BLOOD FOUNTAIN>
    "A-alright man jeez no need to fly off the handle."
    <I AM PERMANENTLY OFF THE HANDLE>

    Jeanne finally transforms.









     
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    "Lemme just quickly pull this sword out of my cleavage..."


    "There we go."







    "Jeanne...?"
    "No, seriously, tell me! I can't see shit in this thing!"


    have!"


    om? I can do this! I'm ready!"
    <YOU'RE WELCOME... BITCH>

    What does Jeanne's ascension to Khornate Princess entail? Let me explain it pictorally.



    [Wilhelm scream.]


    "Yay, murder!"


    "RIP AND TEAR"


    "Someone feed Mittens!"


    "YOU CAN FEEL IT TOO, HOAK HOGAN! YOU CAN FEEL IT!"


    "I never saw Paris!"


    "I STILL CAN'T SEE BUT I THINK WE'RE WINNING!"
     

    "Delete my browser history!"



    The dark reactor of Khornate energy within Jeanne overflows once more.


    [Sounds of a fat bulldog with a cold growling in a tin pot.]


    "Aw, this meat-balloon didn't pop properly."
    "Ha, now's my chance!"


    "DIE, WITCH!"



    "..."
    "... draw?"
    "..."


    "... JESUS CHRIST, JEANNE!"


    [Said in the style of Terry Bogard's "AH YEW O-KAY?"]



    "Please don't break my butt."
    "No."


    "GUESS WHERE THIS IS GOING"




    "ECKSU..."


    "... and on top of everything else, I left the stove on."


    "... CALIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"


    "BARF"


    "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"



    Roger, feeling inadequate, equips Elucidator and Dark Repulsor and goes to solo the Orc Knight.
     



    He gets a new level whupped into his ass.




    <EARN YOUR NEXT DAEMON PRINCESS TRANSFORMATION, COCKSMOKER>



    Liane briefly considers the possibility of being useful.



    She soothes Roger's tender asshole with a topical cream instead, netting her 10 XP.


    "STARBURST STREAM!"



    TOFFEE SODA TOFFEE SODA TOFFEE SODA GIVE ME COFFEE


    [Orc Knight drops a used condom, three bear asses and a rusty sword.]




    A healing spell is acquired, which will instantly be thrown on Liane once she hits level 3. Witchcraft? What's witchcraft?



    Khorne bestows another level upon his chosen champion, then begrudgingly gives Roger one too since he did try to help at least. Slaanesh chips in with a pity-level for Liane because shi liked how close her fingers got to Roger's asshole.



    MEANWHILE, IN THE LAND OF MORDOR WHERE THE SHADOWS LIE



    news. The curling iron has shorted out. Your hair may have to go un-primped for a week."
    "Nooooooooo!"


    Everything's out of sorts!"


    "Save the excuses, Uncle. It's my fault anyway, for sending those imbeciles to do the job. Weak little maggots like them ought to just shrivel up and die. Don't you think?"
    "... I think even the weak have a role to play, your grace. Perhaps wishing painful deaths on them might be a bit hasty."
    "Tsk. Fine, see if I care. I'm sick of talking about bygones. Tell me more juicy details about my future, hee hee. And don't skimp on describing my new pony! Remember, you said you'd take care of everything!"
    "... and I have, sire. Why, the next step in your brilliant plan is nigh underway. If that doesn't give you sweet dreams, I don't know what will."



    Uwee hee hee! Ha ha!"
     

    "I regret all of my life choices."

    MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE CHARRED REMAINS OF THE RANCH


    They're rusty, but still sturdy enough."
    "Roger why did you knock two big bulges out in my breastplate?"
    "Hehehehe..."

    The frog hops into the scene, sounding like someone blowing their asshole out in a toilet with every spring.


    "Liane why are you thanking the frog."
    "Do you want to come along with us? Is that it?"



    You don't wanna know where you have to kiss him to turn him back into a prince.


    will be alright? Vaucouleurs is so far away! What if we're attacked by the English before we get there?"
    "There's no point in being scared. Unless you're trying to prove we're not cut out for the army."

    I will take this opportunity to point out that while Jeanne's hometown was once raided, it was by Burgundians. Not the English. Or their orc auxiliaries.


    It's hopeless! They'll never let you enlist."
    <OH BOY ARE THEY EVER GONNA>
    "Liane, what about you? You're willing to go through with this?"
    "... I'll go wherever Jeanne goes."

    Liane is the true hero of this tale, really. She doesn't have magical armlet Khorne blessing bullshit making her a goddess of destruction on the battlefield or phat lewts from robbing a dead chevalier, but she still picked up a tree branch and sacked up for battle. And now she's even going to join the army! Nevermind the bit where I made her run around looking for guttermoney the past two stages.


    None of us do."


    appeal to you, then don't come. You're not from Domrémy anyway. ... just go wherever you want."
    "Jeanne... I'm going with you. I have no relatives, no memories prior to coming here... Besides, I can't just leave you two. You know that."
    "I can take care of everyone if I have to. I have the armlet. I just hope the English give me an excuse! I dare them!"
    <GOOOOD, GOOOOOOOOOOD>







    "Jeanne, what now?"
    "... probably going to Vaucouleurs like we discussed five minutes ago?"
    "Oh, right."



    Jeanne draws her sword.


    "Jeanne!"


    "What are you going to do?"



    "Bangs are so not in this year!"
     



    "Jeanne! No!"


    "I must go. I cannot lie down when they have trampled our honour!"





    Five seconds later, Roger's ape-brain finally lurches into gear and makes him react.



    "Pff. I'm too cool for these posers."
    "Oh, you're right Jeanne. We should not give in."



    Apparently the group teleports in the middle of Liane's line.


     
    ...

    This needs more dragons.

    Everything is better with dragons
     
    Strunkriidiisk said:
    Hold the fucking phone; why is Liane wearing weird armour plates on her arms in the most useless possible place? The fuck are those supposed to do, act like a brassiere to support her shoulder pads?
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    She uses it to support the gold she squirreled away and didn't give Jeanne.

    The gold itself is hidden in the shoulderpads and helps guard her arms like a discount Smaug.
     
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