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Jace911 "Reviews" Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Jace911

Jace911

Spider-Dork
Location
The Gold-Bricking State
So I started watching this about an hour ago and I was going to post some thoughts on it but then I got ten minutes in and was absolutely bewildered at the shit happening on my laptop screen so my notes ended up being a bit scatterbrained and I decided it would be easier and mildly funnier to just post them as-is because it's late and I've had a few.

Episode One Reactions:
okay seriously what the fuck is this crazy train horseshit

There is a talking psychic kitty that has ears coming out of its ears

This art style is really good but holy shit these characters are too adorable

GEE I WONDER IF IT WAS ACTUALLY A DREAM

Surprisingly feminist portrayal of women and girls especially main character's mother

Of course there's a blue-haired girl

Ahahaha even the main character recognizes when another anime protagonist enters the plot

Why is creepy goth chick trying to murder mister flopsie

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK DID SOMEONE JUST DROP A SHIT TON OF LSD

SERIOUSLY GUYS WHY ARE WE IN WILLY WONKA'S RIVER RIDE ALL OF A SUDDEN

Oh hey a wild drill haired girl appeared I bet she's nice

AND THEN SHE PULLED ELEVEN BILLION MUSKETS OUT OF HER ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN

Goth chick and drill girl are at odds for some reason, perhaps having to do with mister flopsie

"make a contract with me" yeah this doesn't sound like the sketchiest fucking deal ever

THE END

Episode Two Reactions:
Didn't notice this in episode one but holy fuck that is a huge ass bathroom

WHY DOES CAT THING HAVE EARS COMING OUT OF HIS EARS FUCK

So the tripping balls finale of last episode was actually supposed to be a magic fight against a witch

Adorable telepathy shenanigans

Main character/blue hair girl's friend notices they hang out a lot and automatically jumps to LESBIANS

Because it's so fucking absurd for two middle school girls to spend lots of time together

Also way to be homophobic as fuck you little shitbird

Creepy goth chick was trying to kill cat thing to keep it from making a contract with protagonist

ULTRA DRAMATIC HEEL TURRRRRRRRN

Why do I feel like creepy goth chick is going to be a misunderstood good guy

Why do I feel like cheery drill hair girl is going to be a Machiavellian psycho

Why do I feel like this one wish deal is going to fuck them over so hard

WHY IS EVERY WITCH FIGHT A HARDCORE DRUG TRIP WHERE DID THEY GET THIS IDEA

FUCKING HUGE ASS MUSKET CANNON STRAIGHT FROM HER BUTTHOLE I AIN'T EVEN MAD

Oh and whenever they kill a witch they get a rare item drop when did this turn into fucking WoW

THE END
 
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The only thing that's almost as good as experiencing Madoka Magica for the first time is watching someone experience it for the first time.

The first person to spoil him will entered into my Ledger of Hatred for Eternity.
 
Last one before I go to bed fr tonight

EPISODE THREE REACTIONS:
Blue hair girl visiting some sick fuck in bed WELL SHIT I WONDER WHAT HER WISH IS GONNA BE

"this soloist is pretty sick" *sounds of Justin Beiber in headphones*

The trend of pointlessly ginormous fucking rooms continues unabated

ALSO THE TREND OF LSD AND FUCKING XBOX HUGE MUSKETS

"that wasn't a witch, it was a familiar" "oh, so it wasn't a witch?" FUCKING GENIUS ASS ENGLISH DUBS

Congratulations you have now unlocked my tragic backstory allow me to explain why cat-thing is a massive shitlord

Meanwhile cat thing continues to look adorably innocent and nobody cares that he extorted a dying girl

"hey so can you wish something for someone else" HMMMMM WONDER WHO THAT COULD MEAN

Oh wait the cat thing just spoiled it so im not actually that clever FUCK YOU EAR MONSTER

"the sooner you decide the better" yep not malevolent at all I totally wont fuck you over with that wish

"do you just want to become powerful?" "oh no I don't care about that…well maybe a little" DRAMATIC LIGHTNING AT LAST WE SEE HER TRUE NATURE THIS IS THE FACE OF EVIL 100 MEGAHITLERS

Cat thing just keeps petting her ego like a lonely nerd's mom "oh yeah I bet you could totes kick drill hair's bitch ass if you just sign here" "WOW REALLY YOU MEAN THAT CREEPY CAT THING?" "yeah now hurry up and fucking sign"

Oh my god mom just walked in looking like I did on saint paddy's this is the greatest

10/10 100/100 best animes ever

Now time for an inspirational speech from dad about how you can be happy no matter what life you live as long as you marry a successful woman who pays for you to stay home and garden all day so she can stagger home drunk as a fucked skunk

Drill hair girl and creepy goth chick continue to be as matter and antimatter in the same container

ULTRA DRAMATIC HAIR FLIIIIIIIIIIIP

Oh no a grief seed what should we do hey do you have drill hair's number NO BUT YOU HAVE FUCKING TELEPATHY

SO THEY CAN USE TELEPATHY LIKE FUCKING GPS BUT THEY CAN'T USE IT TO CALL FOR HELP

"don't worry we still have time before it hatches" *grief seed hatches immediately*

Oh excellent it's time for the regularly-scheduled dose of mindfuck

AND THEN THEY USE TELEPATHY THE INSTANT SHE GETS THERE EXCUSE ME WHILE I FLIP A TABLE

Oh so I forgot telepathy actually has range nvm my bad

A wild creepy goth chick appeared! She used "reveal vaguely menacing plot details"! it's not very effective. Drill hair girl used adorable bondage ribbons! It's super effective!

I haven't mentioned this yet but I actually kinda dig the soundtrack

OH HEY GUYS I FOUND THE DRUGS THE ANIMATORS ARE ON MYSTERY SOLVED

Level two of tragic backstory has been unlocked, release the confetti-pills!

Fucking dammit pinkie pie literally everyone is telling you this is the worst idea

ULTRA DRAMATIC HEEL TURRRRRRRRN with added crying

Also kind of fucking odd how drill hair's name sounds like "Mommy" HMM I WONDER WHY

"I don't know what to wish for" "how about a cake?" "HOT DAMN DRILL HAIR YOU ARE THE BEST"

Oh look the witch is hatching MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE SPENT EIGHT YEARS STANDING AROUND CRYING AND TALKING ABOUT FUCKING CAKES

Why does drill hair's expression default to "massively stoned" when she transforms

Bitch I got 99 problems BUT A MUSKET AIN'T ONE

Of course the witch is an adorable little plushie OH SHIT SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER

oh dear my finishing move failed i guess i better stand still so the cake snake can fucking bite my face off

THERE IS NO CAKE ONLY ZUUUUUUUUUL welp drill hair is dead as shit

Creepy goth girl saves the day by thinking with portals

LOOKIT CAT THING AND HIS FUCKING SMUG ASS SHIT FACE

Creepy goth girl loot-poaches the raid boss, creepy goth girl confirmed for ultimate evil

THE END
 
I'm not a hundred percent sure how to post gifs, but I'm sure that there's a plethora of popcorn eating gifs suitable for the occasion.

I had the pleasure of introducing my sister to the series recently, and I enjoyed and was amused by her reactions, and I suspect that I will enjoy watching this.

(Also, spoilers are terrible, and people who post spoilers are not very nice. Please don't spoil so that we can properly enjoy his despair as he watches the series, as is the moral and correct thing to do. Well, assuming that he gets emotionally invested. Maybe drunkenly watching the series isn't going to help with that.)
 
Jace911 said:
Also kind of fucking odd how drill hair's name sounds like "Mommy" HMM I WONDER WHY
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There's have been two classic magical girl series before this one with a magical girl named Mami. There could be more in the future too. Wonder how they'll deal with the head jokes...

Creepy goth girl loot-poaches the raid boss, creepy goth girl confirmed for ultimate evil
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:D

Also watch the movie after you finish the series. The third one, you can skip the first two since you're watching the series now.
 
Alternatively, don't skip the first two movies because they introduce slightly different levels of otherwise identical mindfuck, even if they commit certain sins that shall not be named because spoilers.
 
Episode Four Reactions:
The more I watch this show the more I get that tingly feeling that tells me I'm going to make a spec ops reference in the near future

I know we more or less covered crippled kid's situation with a few tasteful flashbacks and character interaction but let's have a random ass npc spell it out for the viewers with sad violins in the background in case they're too fucking dense to get it

Blue hair laments her forever alone status as she rides the highway to the friend zone

Bloody fucking mary this cheery ass cutesy anime intro is dissonant as fuck after last episode

We rejoin pinkie pie the next day as she enjoys a nice family breakfast and post-traumatic flashback

Dad's cooking is apparently terrible enough to be tear-worthy

"OH MY GOD DAD THIS IS THE BEST BREAKFAST EVER" "honey what did I tell you about getting stoned before breakfast"

Blue hair chats with nameless green npc girl from twenty feet away for some reason

"you and me are the only ones who know about all the stuff that's been happening" probably because of the drugs blue hair

"after all this do you still want to be a magical girl?" *jump cut to cat thing's face* SOON

So cat thing just openly admits that the whole romanticized ideal of magical girls defending the weak was basically bullshit and 90% of them are all bitches AND NOBODY BATS A FUCKING EYELASH

"only magical girls can judge each others' actions, they all share the same destiny" ABSOLUTELY NOT OMINOUS AS FUCK

Pinkie breaks into drill hair's apartment to loot her shit and cry I guess they don't have locks or burglar alarms in japan

"oh hey creepy goth chick" "shit the pink fuck got to the good loot before me"

I gotta say the background and lighting in this show are also pretty good at making the mood depressing as fuck when it needs to be

Im also a little amazed that ive gotten this far without making a single Bowie joke

"ill never forget you creepy goth chick" "you're too kind pinkie" ULTRA DRAMATIC HAIR FLIIIIIIII oh fuck whiplash

We rejoin blue hair and crippled boy in the hospital as she does her level best to fuck up the concept of "bedside manner"

"hey blue hair" "yeah?" "shut the fuck up"

So he can barely walk and he can't move his fingers but he can fucking karate chop cd players into a billion pieces okay then

Cat thing creepin at the window with his lovecraftian ears

Well I guess pinkie can go home and forget about all this shit WOOP WAIT NOPE HOMOPHOBIC GREENHAIR GOT HER ASS BIT BY A WITCH

Well she's clearly tripping balls in another dimension and is probably leading me to some sort of suicide pact and I have no magical powers and I just spent the entire episode crying about how much of a coward I am SO LET'S GO WITH HER FUCK THE TORPEDOES FULL STEAM AHEAD

"I should call creepy goth chick for help oh wait I don't have her number" WELL THEN CLEARLY THE BEST ALTERNATIVE IS TO JUST KEEP ON TRUCKING

Man that is a lot of zombie people who totes aren't going to try and eat you pinkie

JIMMINY FUCKING CRICKET GREEN HAIR WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR HAND

Pinkie finally realizes that shit is fucked and throws the bucket of drugs I MEAN CHEMICALS out the window but SURPRISE THE ZOMBIE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THAT

And now the hallucinations have begun STRAP IN KIDS WE'RE GOING IN HOT

Oh fuck me she literally exploded

Oh wait nevermind she's fine???and they just changed her animation style?

"I wonder if this is my punishment for being a coward" NO YOU DENSE FUCK THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR BEING LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF A COWARD

And then she was elastigirl?

Oh look a mysterious blue warrior I wonder who the fuck that could be OH FUCK HERE IT COMES

"DO YOU FEEL LIKE A HERO YET SAYAKA"

Creepy goth chick is not amused that blue hair stole her kill and loot

"you're late transfer student" FUCK YOU BITCH I PUT IN MY PAPERWORK IT'S THE UNIVERSITY'S FAULT oh wait she meant the goth chick

Meanwhile in a familiar hospital bed crippled boy wakes up to find that his hand is MIRACULOUSLY BETTER FOR SOME STRANGE REASON I'm sure this will be resolved happily to everyone's satisfaction

Then we jump cut to cat thing and a NEW CHALLENGER, TOOTHY MCSCRAGGLES, who is busy stuffing her face with some kind of burrito I'm sure that's not going to be a primary character trait

Cat thing continues to demonstrate his innocence by manipulating Toothy into attacking blue hair like five fucking seconds after he turned her into a magical girl

THE END
 
This is great, I can barely stop laughing. Anyone have that Homura gif where she's doing the hair flip and a L'oreal ad was put right next to her?
 
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