You...you can't deal with this. Not right-...you need to-... screw it you're going back to bed. Fuck everything. You spare one last glare at Isise, who shrinks away from you and seems to fold into herself, before snapping your heels to head back to your room. But Sara grabs your shoulder "Newbie, you gonna be alright? Look she just said Drakul, who knows if they're-"
"I used to live on Persepolis."You cut her off with a sharp hiss and pull your shoulder away. "I saw what they did. Don't tell me what the Drakul are like."
"Yeah...that explains...a lot" Sara nods slowly with a sad look on her face, "It's probably best if you leave."
"W-what? What'd the Drakul do t-to earn such hatred?" You feel Isise ask from behind you and you're forced to bite back a sick laugh. What did the Drakul do? Enough, the Drakul did enough. You fight back the sting of tears as you turn away from the two of them. Vaguely you hear Sara saying something to Isise but you pay it no heed. You're just done. You can't handle this right now.
Only to run face first into Nye as he and Taiira finally make their way down to the cargo. You're not in the mood to deal with any of their antics so you roughly shove him out of the way. "Move."
He looks taken-aback, "Wow, who pissed in your cer-" He catches sight of Isise, "Ooooohnonononono..." He grabs and spins you back to face him, you fight down the instinctive urge to cold-clock him. "Does anyone know she's here?" His voice has taken on a hard edge.
"Fuck off Nye, I'm not in the mood." You spit and try to free yourself from his grasp, but he just points a finger accusingly at Isise.
"I'm being serious Selina, does anyone else know she's here? And more importantly How. Did she get. On. The ship?" Out of the corner eye you see Isise staring at Nye, her hair wildly writhing. You don't care, you tear yourself out of his grip.
"I don't fucking know, or care, how that Drakul-loving bitch got her, but I'm done. Out. I don't need your bullshit paranoia either Nye."
He palms his face, "Oh is that what this is about? Well, I'm not going to say its better than it looks because it's actually much, much worse but-"
"Enough." You cut him off "What part of 'I don't fucking care' did you not understand?" You have a headache now too, like this wasn't already stressful enough.
He looks at you for a second before turning away from you. "Sara! Why the hell is she on the ship?"
You use the opportunity to brush past Taiira who had been quiet up until now. You think she tried to give you a reassuring smile but you just blew past her. All you think about is getting to your bed and going to sleep, all you can think about is getting to your bed. That singular goal and the focus it brings is all that allows you to push down the swirling mass of emotions and memories tearing at the edges of your consciousness.
Up the ladder, you push down the sickening pit of hatred that's nested in your stomach. Back through the hallway, you push down the memory of Persepolis burning in front of you. Reaching the cabin, you push down the memory of your friends and family who you'll never see again. Enter the code, you push down the nauseous fear of living on the run. Into the cabin, you push down the uncertain fear of the future. Collapse on your bed, they push back.
The walls, carefully constructed over the course of six months to keep you moving forward, come crashing down. It starts with a tear, and before you can so much as blink it away you're sobbing into your pillow. You...all you...all you want to do is see them again. You'd give so much, so so much, to see them again. It's been six months, and that idea still tears at your chest. It hurts more than anything you'd ever know, and you...you can't bare to think about it.
Crying doesn't help, all the tears in the world can't bring them back, and it just makes you feel pathetic. It's been six months and you...you can't...you can't even think about their faces without bawling. But you can't stop bawling, because then you'd forget them and...and...you're just little Selina Terens. Some survivor you are.
You toss and turn fitfully, eventually the tears fade, as the painful thoughts are washed away by the blissful release of unconsciousness. Their faces still haunt you, even in your dreams, but those at least you do not remember when you awake. It is here then that you are safe, that you can rel-*Knock* *Knock*
You jolt awake and look around wildly. Is something happening? The room's spinning around you. Who's pounding on your door?
"Darling!" Oh no, that can't be who you think it is. "I do believe that I instructed you to have my morning coffee ready at 0500. Now, I know it is your first day, so cognizant of that, I have decided to do you the great service of coming to wake you personally so that you have adequate time to prepare. Now, I believe if you are truly a worthy assistant darling, five minutes should be sufficient. Ta ta for now, and remember, hand ground!"
You fall back on your bed with a groan, you got 20 minutes of sleep, if that. You try desperately to grasp onto the fading wisps of sleep in an effort to sink back into it.
This time you're interrupted by the door to you cabin sliding open. "Oh, and one more thing Darling." You peek open your eyes to see Uriel looking down at you with those ridiculous red sunglasses "I'm the head engineer, which means I have the passcodes for everything on this ship. Just something to keep in mind. Now, chop chop! Up and at 'em! Those coffee grounds are going to need some hands to reach their true potential!"
You muster a halfhearted groan in protest, but he's already flouncing out of the room. Leaving the door open behind him, allowing the light from the hallway to spill into you cabin. Right into your face.
What do you do?
[ ] Just make the goddamn coffee, then you're going back to bed. For real this time.
[ ] Screw Uriel, you're not leaving this bed no matter what.
[ ] You might as well get up, and some coffee does sound nice. Maybe that'll help you out...still not going to make coffee for him though. Jackass.
