Enlighten me, please. I have never gone far enough in the source to understand your reference.
In Another World with JUST MONIKA (Book 2 complete)
- Thread starter bluepencil
- Start date
-
- Tags
- comedy (humour)
Touya's a stereotypical modern Light Novel Main Character. Aka, a complete flake.
All he does is being a pretty figurehead and nuking the hell out of his opposition with pure power while his harem run the actual show and if said harem run into a problem they can't solve, he use literal Google to look up how it was done IRL and relay the info.
Yeah those things are still in my folder, dropbox just changed the link structure. Which ones do you mean though? The ones on FF.net, or the inset illustrations for the REBUILD of SNW40k?
That makes the harem sound significantly more interesting than it is. We just imagine that they're handling all other logistical and political details offscreen while Touya is pointed to whatever new problem that needs solving in a flashy manner.
Touya likes to show off. For any reason. His harem can make him do anything and yet they tell him off for acting perverted by accident, like all the indistinguishable sacks of meat they become losing all cohesive narrative agency and interesting personality features once they join the harem. Harem anime at least MUST make the girls interesting to cover for the bland doormat that is the typical male lead, but Isekai Smartphone doesn't even have that. It has the hook in that unlike your typical bitchfest that is the cancer that is harem anime, at least here the girls get along.
But what's the point if they aren't anymore distinct from each other? They now just have a variety of faces and body types for
Last edited:
Both of them broke, so I suppose all of them, if it could be possible. (Albeit, rn I'm reading the FF.net version, is REBUILD more complete?
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
This. So much this. Personally that hook was glorious - basically Touya takes Yumina to meet his party members and she looks at all of them and says to herself "okay, she's my rival, she's my rival, and she's my rival...or....ally? Yeah, I can work with this." But then the problem is that Touya doesn't do anything if it's boring. So he winds up ruling an independent duchy? Yeah, as long as what he's doing is interesting, that's fine....but the instant it's not, he goes off to do something else.
Za Playa is at least aware of his flaws.
38.3 Yumina Interrupt
-.
-.
We were inside one of the private rooms of the palace, seated around a round table. My father and myself on one side, the King and Chancellor Glatz on the other. They were finally discussing what the alliance should be like after the first rounds of polite greetings, praises, deflections, and subtle posturing.
Then with a *BLAM!*, the doors to the room slammed open.
Sir Zah walked in, chin up, with all the swaggering arrogance of a young god.
I could not help it, I felt happy to see him again. The relief was so excessive, I could feel my heart pounding. A flush settled on my face and I half stood up out of my seat with a welcoming smile. He had changed from the open-chested Mismede costume back into a sleeveless warm-weather version of his habitual red outfit.
*BLAM!* The doors swung shut on their own behind him.
And then he cocked his hips to the side and music began playing from out of nowhere. (1)
And the feeling in me sank, as I abruptly remembered why I needed to have him in my eyes at all moments.
- /♪ Rockin'
- /♪ Rockin' and Rollin'.
- /♪ Down to the beach, I'm strollin'
He began walking forwards, gyrating his hips and his fingers swinging round and round from side to side.
Imagine, if you will, a crowded stage with ballet dancers performing on it, dancing and flowing through each other. And then suddenly, for some reason, an elephant enter the stage – also dancing and spinning about on tip-toe.
And you're left wondering – half in disbelief that this was even possible, and the other half dreading for how long this could last before the elephant starts shoving and trampling all the other smaller and more careful dancers on the stage.
Everyone else has no choice but move and change their plans around whatever this walking disaster could bring. THAT was why I needed to always keep Sir Zah in my sight.
I should never leave him be alone. It would be too troublesome. Information was a power in its own right. Better to have a least a little warning rather than be completely blindsided and fall into ruin unknowing.
- /♪ but the seagulls
- /♪ … poke at my head
What fresh deviltry is this? This chiken man is possessed! This bird is foul!
- /♪ Not fun!
- /♪ I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"
He stopped before us, and faced two kings squarely. He stared at them equanimically through an eye mask with frosted lenses, while they stared back wondering if they should take offense at this.
- /♪ Hrmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah
- /♪ Hrmm hmm ha Hmm hmm hmm hm ha
Then he began to swing side to side similar to the moves from Thriller and hand, stop. Don't. I clenched my hands into fists and forced them to remain still on the table. Curse this muscle memory!
Yes I could probably catch arrows with my hands now, but no, my knees, stop.
- /♪ Everyone told me
- /♪ Not to stroll on that beach,
He was not even singing! The words of the song were just spoken in a conversational way.
- /♪ said, "Seagulls gonna come,
- /♪ Poke me in the coconut,
Snerk.
I looked quizzically up at my father. His face looked impassive. Was I just imagining things?
Sir Zah held his left arm out straight at an angle, with his right arm bent at the elbow following it in parallel, and dropped his head onto the crook of his neck. King Jamukha grinned widely.
- /♪ And they did,
He nodded towards my father.
- /♪ And they did.
He nodded towards King Jamukha.
- /♪ And they goin' like
And then he and the King of Mismede began... dabbing. Yes, that is the word, if I remember correctly.
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
They held their arms out while jamming their heads up and down. Dabbing. I had absolutely no idea if this was a pre-arranged ploy.
Sir Zah continued with the song. The King of Mismede stood up and joined him. They made for a mismatched pair, King Jamukha was like three Sir Zah's standing on each other's shoulders in height and oh no now I have to make sure if King Jamukha really wasn't three Sir Zah's standing on each other in disguise.
- /♪ I love to groove and boogie
- /♪ Yea-a-a-ah
Great.
- /♪ Show you some dance moves!
- /♪ Mmmmm!
No, I don't want you to.
But too late.
Too late.
Sir Zah and King Jamukha continued with the song, dancing and hopping on one leg. They were almost perfectly timed. If it wasn't for a half-second delay for the King to copy Sir Zah's moves, I would have been convinced this wasn't an impulse decision.
By this point Chancellor Glatz was banging his head on the table and moaning in defeat.
- /♪ If I had your giant feet
- /♪ Out there on the beach
- /♪ Could've outrun those birds!
This was stupid enough that it might have actually happened to Sir Zah at some point.
- /♪ Hmm hah~
- /♪ Hmm hm hm hm haeeeh~
- /♪ Hmm hah~
- /♪ Hmm hm hm hm haeeeh~
My father whispered out from the corner of his mouth, and asked "Yumina… why?"
"I am not responsible for this…" I whispered back with a childish whining note. I felt humiliated.
- /♪ One day I was walkin'
- /♪ and I found this big log
Sir Zah, why.
- /♪ And I rolled the log over
- /♪ and underneath was a tiny little stick,
You're doing this on purpose. Why?
I kept my face pinched and impassive. I refuse to give in to this nonsense.
- /♪ and I was like,
- /♪ "That log…
- /♪ "had a child."
Phffrt. I could not help it anymore. I gasped for breath. And then I laughed.
I really laughed.
Damn it, that should not be funny it was stupid. But the delivery…!
"Damn it, Sir Zah…!" I snorted. I grinned back at him. His beaming grin looked far more genuine now that he broke through my stoic defenses.
And I waited for them to get it out of their system.
And eventually they did.
Thank the Gods they did.
-.
"But why seagulls?" my father asked.
Completely seriously, Sir Zah replied. "They are wolves of the sky."
"Aren't those hawks? Or pigeons?" commented King Jamukha.
"No, hawks are not pack hunters. Pigeons are *rats* of the sky. They swarm too, but they're not as horrible as seagulls as ambush predators."
"That is true," King Jamukha said with a sagely nod. "That is true…"
"Sir Zah, welcome back. How are you? And why… am I talking like this now?" Ugh. Stop it now. That song is going to be stuck in my head now! And every time. I'm reminded. I'm going to start. Thinking like this.
No. No. No no no. No.
Brain. Stop it now.
"Tristwin! Jamukha!" Sir Zah declared boldly, completely uncaring of propriety calling monarchs by their names. I blinked and sat up straight. My heart paid. It was too jarring! "Yumina!"
First he was a fool, but then suddenly it was like I was feeling another imposing regal presence in front of me. I was abruptly reminded that etiquette for royalty demanded that they treat each other with a certain casualness – only other kings can call kings by their birth names, and none of that buck with titles and such. Calling a king "Your Highness" was a sign of deference, but a king no matter how small his territory is still a king.
Sir Zah's effrontery was mighty indeed.
Chancellor Glatz, ignorant of what Sir Zah meant to Belfast as a political asset, looked insulted on behalf of his King.
"Jamukha. A short while ago, one of your subjects did me an immense favor," Sir Zah continued heedlessly.
He reached out behind him, there was a faint boom, and then he pulled out to show a young woman perhaps about my age, with silver hair and cat-like amber eyes. She was wearing a frilly midnight black dress and had gossamer crystal-like wings going out from her back. She dangled from Sir Zah's arm like a kitten held up by the scruff of its neck by its mother.
"Nyoh." The young lady raised her hand and very unenthusiastically raised her hand like a cat presenting its paw.
Sir Zah turned to King Jamukha and said "Leene is a subject of your kingdom, and has done us a great favor. I have already agreed to her terms, but so great is the favor that I must extend my gratitude to your kingdom as a whole."
Matriach Leene crossed her arms and snorted. "Phfft. A favor? You call it that after throwing me down and having your way with me?"
Sir Zah wrinkled his nose. "Back in the hole you go, you perverted old womannn!"
"Nyuuuu~!"
Sir Zah tossed her back into a [Boom Tube]. He continued as if nothing had happened "So now I will do whatever is in my power to MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Whatever problems you have in your alliance to make your respective kingdoms safer, I will smooth it out."
Completely ignoring that, King Jamukha asked "Zah Boyo, where have you been?"
There was a bright flash, and suddenly the round table was its own world – it showed the whole region of the Dragon's Sanctuary from above. And then things began exploding.
The view pulled closer and larger, showing the edge of the forest. Sir Zah, Lady Monika, and Matriarch Leene were standing at the clearing right outside of the territory that no one could ever enter on pain of sudden grisly death. No army could dare hope to survive.
"YOU BUNCH OF PASTY LIZAARDS!" Sir Zah yelled drunkenly towards the dark forest. "SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR VALOR AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND! FIGHT MEEEEH!"
He threw even more fireballs, noisily blowing up the forest. Boom. Boom.
I winced with every boom. Oh gods. This was so bad.
Sir Zah grinned. "We went out to fight the dragons. They won't be bothering you again for at least a year."
"HOW DARE YOU!" King Jamukha roared. He raised his fists and readied to punch Sir Zah.
Chancellor Glatz sat up sharply, looked towards us the Mismede contigent, and briefly I could see in his eyes the panicked sequence of calculations if violence this would scuttle the talks. Mismede needed this alliance as much as we did. While Mismede had not caused offense to Regulus recently, there was constant pressure from the Rammish Theocracy to the east to block Mismede goods from finding any markets to the East and Regulus to the North. Belfast was Mismede's largest trading partner. "Your Beastliness-!" he cried out piteously and reached towards his liege.
King Jamukha's hand slappled hard on Sir Zah's shoulder. I could see him wince and recoil to remain standing.
And then King Jamukha started bawling.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WITH YOUUUU!"
Yep. I was expecting this.
"I promised to come back in six months, give them time to train and get stronger, and revisit the deal. The elder dragons promised their youths would not attack for at least a year, but we are going to prove that it doesn't matter if I'm not around. Mismede can fend for itself. We'll go see if you or Elze can punch the harder."
Oh. That's right. Miss Elze was also very discouraged about how punching a dragon only ended up injuring her fist. But she was strong, and instead of being discouraged, like Miss Yae she was only gearing up to make sure the next time absolutely NOTHING should be able to stand up to her punch.
Unlike Miss Yae however, she could not train so easily around the palace. Everything around here was just so fragile.
"YOU PROMISE?!"
"Let's go punch some dragon faces, yeah."
/"What is a hero without the ability to show off?"/ Lady Monika's voice echoed through the room. /"Nothing but a fart in the wind."/
Snerk. I put a hand up over my mouth to cover my unladylike snort and twisted smile.
The King of Mismede chuckled, slapped Sir Zah a few more times, and pulled back. He turned towards the image on the table. "So you won against the dragons, right? Oh, I'd like to see that!"
Boom. Boom.
This time it was the sound of dragons dropping down, slamming onto the ground, right across the invisible border that separated Mismede from draconic territory. These were not mere dragon young, they were incredibly massive, powerful creatures that made the three interlopers look like little mice
"GRAOOOOH!" the dragons roared in well-justified outrage. The sound of it was like we were right there. How terrifying!
Sir Zah on the illusion stage stomped his feet, kicking up only a little bit of dust. Left and right and bulged his chest. He looked quite unimpressive compared to those titans of draconic might.
And he roared back.
"KREEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOONK!" (2)
The sound filled the room. First the air seemed to get pulled right out of our lungs, and then we were blasted with the bone-shaking sound, rumbling like thunder with a faintly metallic underlayer that we could almost taste at the back of our throats.
I felt a bolt of fearful lightning prickle up through my spine. I could see the dragons flinch in the face of the almighty fury behind that roar. It was no mere beast's roar- it was the sound of nothing but power unrivaled, pure in its violence, fearing nothing… a sound befitting only the King of Monsters.
I could see that was the moment they decided that Sir Zah's nonsense about having a dragon's soul… could possibly have any validity.
Chancellor Glatz stared at Sir Zah with bewilderment. He smiled back. The room vibrated with a toothy rumble.
He looked at the table again, and then he blinked. This sort of magic… remote viewing! All-encompassing recall! It carried even sound! Forget the whole dragon business for now, this had incredible strategic military utility! His thoughts were whirling, he looked up and then by chance our eyes met.
Comrade. I welcome thee.
I nodded in sympathy. He was enlightened. He nodded too, and his gaze showed only a willingness to help in whatever way he was able. Our differences in age and lineage meant nothing, we were now allies forever.
Then I blinked.
Wait. Was this plan? Sir Zah promised to make sure this alliance would push through no matter what. SEAGULLS!
King Jamukah's eyes glittered like stars in almost boyish delight. The more powerful Sir Zah appeared, the more he was worth befriending for savagely violent shenanigans. Sir Zah whispered something to him. He nodded and returned to his seat.
Sir Zah waved, and the illusion over the table changed into another distant view of the world – showing the border between Belfast, Mismede, and Regulus along the final stretch of the Great River Gao to the ocean and flow from the great inland lake.
Fwoom.
A blue line appeared in mid-air. Startled, all of us except Sir Zah turned to stare at it. The line expanded up into a glowing blue rectangular portal in midair.
The blue portal moved backwards (3), and Lady Monika emerged from it like land features appearing as the surface of the waters receding with the tide.
Whiiisk. The portal collapsed back into a blue line and disappeared behind her. She dropped to the ground beside Sir Zah. Wait. What?
She opened her eyes and smiled.
Her green eyes still glowed with a faint inner power, but that... that was skin! That was hair! That was solidity! I knew how Miss Monika created the illusion of color, with millions of tiny boom tubes each shining a unique color - she called them picture elements, or pixels. There was always something a little too bright and unreal about it, not perfectly able to take natural light and cast shadows.
But now - that was real!
She was a real woman.
I put my hand to my chest and felt again the hammering in my heart. This was a mix, I think, of both being extremely happy for her, and not a small amount of fear. I began to comprehend just how *massive* was the favor given to them by Mismede. Belfast didn't give them much direct benefit in comparison, just expenses and lodgings. This was dangerous. I knew that Sir Zah's quest ultimately was just to give back Lady Monika her living body. Everything else was secondary, little services given in exchange for resources and information to reach that goal.
They were highly unimpressed with rewards like titles and wealth, or threats from nobles merely born to their station. If dragons failed to scare them any, mere humans and their armies couldn't contain them at all. Mismede was silly enough for his ilk.
They could abandon us.
What did we really have to keep them on our side? Nothing but sentimentality. Can we really count on only that?
She and Sir Zah leaned over and placed their hands on the table. They spoke at the same time, their faces lit up from below. /"We will be serious now."/
-.
-.
-.
We were inside one of the private rooms of the palace, seated around a round table. My father and myself on one side, the King and Chancellor Glatz on the other. They were finally discussing what the alliance should be like after the first rounds of polite greetings, praises, deflections, and subtle posturing.
Then with a *BLAM!*, the doors to the room slammed open.
Sir Zah walked in, chin up, with all the swaggering arrogance of a young god.
I could not help it, I felt happy to see him again. The relief was so excessive, I could feel my heart pounding. A flush settled on my face and I half stood up out of my seat with a welcoming smile. He had changed from the open-chested Mismede costume back into a sleeveless warm-weather version of his habitual red outfit.
*BLAM!* The doors swung shut on their own behind him.
And then he cocked his hips to the side and music began playing from out of nowhere. (1)
And the feeling in me sank, as I abruptly remembered why I needed to have him in my eyes at all moments.
- /♪ Rockin'
- /♪ Rockin' and Rollin'.
- /♪ Down to the beach, I'm strollin'
He began walking forwards, gyrating his hips and his fingers swinging round and round from side to side.
Imagine, if you will, a crowded stage with ballet dancers performing on it, dancing and flowing through each other. And then suddenly, for some reason, an elephant enter the stage – also dancing and spinning about on tip-toe.
And you're left wondering – half in disbelief that this was even possible, and the other half dreading for how long this could last before the elephant starts shoving and trampling all the other smaller and more careful dancers on the stage.
Everyone else has no choice but move and change their plans around whatever this walking disaster could bring. THAT was why I needed to always keep Sir Zah in my sight.
I should never leave him be alone. It would be too troublesome. Information was a power in its own right. Better to have a least a little warning rather than be completely blindsided and fall into ruin unknowing.
- /♪ but the seagulls
- /♪ … poke at my head
What fresh deviltry is this? This chiken man is possessed! This bird is foul!
- /♪ Not fun!
- /♪ I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"
He stopped before us, and faced two kings squarely. He stared at them equanimically through an eye mask with frosted lenses, while they stared back wondering if they should take offense at this.
- /♪ Hrmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah
- /♪ Hrmm hmm ha Hmm hmm hmm hm ha
Then he began to swing side to side similar to the moves from Thriller and hand, stop. Don't. I clenched my hands into fists and forced them to remain still on the table. Curse this muscle memory!
Yes I could probably catch arrows with my hands now, but no, my knees, stop.
- /♪ Everyone told me
- /♪ Not to stroll on that beach,
He was not even singing! The words of the song were just spoken in a conversational way.
- /♪ said, "Seagulls gonna come,
- /♪ Poke me in the coconut,
Snerk.
I looked quizzically up at my father. His face looked impassive. Was I just imagining things?
Sir Zah held his left arm out straight at an angle, with his right arm bent at the elbow following it in parallel, and dropped his head onto the crook of his neck. King Jamukha grinned widely.
- /♪ And they did,
He nodded towards my father.
- /♪ And they did.
He nodded towards King Jamukha.
- /♪ And they goin' like
And then he and the King of Mismede began... dabbing. Yes, that is the word, if I remember correctly.
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
- /♪ Hwawwh hahwh hawh ha~ hawh hawh hawh ha
They held their arms out while jamming their heads up and down. Dabbing. I had absolutely no idea if this was a pre-arranged ploy.
Sir Zah continued with the song. The King of Mismede stood up and joined him. They made for a mismatched pair, King Jamukha was like three Sir Zah's standing on each other's shoulders in height and oh no now I have to make sure if King Jamukha really wasn't three Sir Zah's standing on each other in disguise.
- /♪ I love to groove and boogie
- /♪ Yea-a-a-ah
Great.
- /♪ Show you some dance moves!
- /♪ Mmmmm!
No, I don't want you to.
But too late.
Too late.
Sir Zah and King Jamukha continued with the song, dancing and hopping on one leg. They were almost perfectly timed. If it wasn't for a half-second delay for the King to copy Sir Zah's moves, I would have been convinced this wasn't an impulse decision.
By this point Chancellor Glatz was banging his head on the table and moaning in defeat.
- /♪ If I had your giant feet
- /♪ Out there on the beach
- /♪ Could've outrun those birds!
This was stupid enough that it might have actually happened to Sir Zah at some point.
- /♪ Hmm hah~
- /♪ Hmm hm hm hm haeeeh~
- /♪ Hmm hah~
- /♪ Hmm hm hm hm haeeeh~
My father whispered out from the corner of his mouth, and asked "Yumina… why?"
"I am not responsible for this…" I whispered back with a childish whining note. I felt humiliated.
- /♪ One day I was walkin'
- /♪ and I found this big log
Sir Zah, why.
- /♪ And I rolled the log over
- /♪ and underneath was a tiny little stick,
You're doing this on purpose. Why?
I kept my face pinched and impassive. I refuse to give in to this nonsense.
- /♪ and I was like,
- /♪ "That log…
- /♪ "had a child."
Phffrt. I could not help it anymore. I gasped for breath. And then I laughed.
I really laughed.
Damn it, that should not be funny it was stupid. But the delivery…!
"Damn it, Sir Zah…!" I snorted. I grinned back at him. His beaming grin looked far more genuine now that he broke through my stoic defenses.
And I waited for them to get it out of their system.
And eventually they did.
Thank the Gods they did.
-.
"But why seagulls?" my father asked.
Completely seriously, Sir Zah replied. "They are wolves of the sky."
"Aren't those hawks? Or pigeons?" commented King Jamukha.
"No, hawks are not pack hunters. Pigeons are *rats* of the sky. They swarm too, but they're not as horrible as seagulls as ambush predators."
"That is true," King Jamukha said with a sagely nod. "That is true…"
"Sir Zah, welcome back. How are you? And why… am I talking like this now?" Ugh. Stop it now. That song is going to be stuck in my head now! And every time. I'm reminded. I'm going to start. Thinking like this.
No. No. No no no. No.
Brain. Stop it now.
"Tristwin! Jamukha!" Sir Zah declared boldly, completely uncaring of propriety calling monarchs by their names. I blinked and sat up straight. My heart paid. It was too jarring! "Yumina!"
First he was a fool, but then suddenly it was like I was feeling another imposing regal presence in front of me. I was abruptly reminded that etiquette for royalty demanded that they treat each other with a certain casualness – only other kings can call kings by their birth names, and none of that buck with titles and such. Calling a king "Your Highness" was a sign of deference, but a king no matter how small his territory is still a king.
Sir Zah's effrontery was mighty indeed.
Chancellor Glatz, ignorant of what Sir Zah meant to Belfast as a political asset, looked insulted on behalf of his King.
"Jamukha. A short while ago, one of your subjects did me an immense favor," Sir Zah continued heedlessly.
He reached out behind him, there was a faint boom, and then he pulled out to show a young woman perhaps about my age, with silver hair and cat-like amber eyes. She was wearing a frilly midnight black dress and had gossamer crystal-like wings going out from her back. She dangled from Sir Zah's arm like a kitten held up by the scruff of its neck by its mother.
"Nyoh." The young lady raised her hand and very unenthusiastically raised her hand like a cat presenting its paw.
Sir Zah turned to King Jamukha and said "Leene is a subject of your kingdom, and has done us a great favor. I have already agreed to her terms, but so great is the favor that I must extend my gratitude to your kingdom as a whole."
Matriach Leene crossed her arms and snorted. "Phfft. A favor? You call it that after throwing me down and having your way with me?"
Sir Zah wrinkled his nose. "Back in the hole you go, you perverted old womannn!"
"Nyuuuu~!"
Sir Zah tossed her back into a [Boom Tube]. He continued as if nothing had happened "So now I will do whatever is in my power to MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Whatever problems you have in your alliance to make your respective kingdoms safer, I will smooth it out."
Completely ignoring that, King Jamukha asked "Zah Boyo, where have you been?"
There was a bright flash, and suddenly the round table was its own world – it showed the whole region of the Dragon's Sanctuary from above. And then things began exploding.
The view pulled closer and larger, showing the edge of the forest. Sir Zah, Lady Monika, and Matriarch Leene were standing at the clearing right outside of the territory that no one could ever enter on pain of sudden grisly death. No army could dare hope to survive.
"YOU BUNCH OF PASTY LIZAARDS!" Sir Zah yelled drunkenly towards the dark forest. "SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR VALOR AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND! FIGHT MEEEEH!"
He threw even more fireballs, noisily blowing up the forest. Boom. Boom.
I winced with every boom. Oh gods. This was so bad.
Sir Zah grinned. "We went out to fight the dragons. They won't be bothering you again for at least a year."
"HOW DARE YOU!" King Jamukha roared. He raised his fists and readied to punch Sir Zah.
Chancellor Glatz sat up sharply, looked towards us the Mismede contigent, and briefly I could see in his eyes the panicked sequence of calculations if violence this would scuttle the talks. Mismede needed this alliance as much as we did. While Mismede had not caused offense to Regulus recently, there was constant pressure from the Rammish Theocracy to the east to block Mismede goods from finding any markets to the East and Regulus to the North. Belfast was Mismede's largest trading partner. "Your Beastliness-!" he cried out piteously and reached towards his liege.
King Jamukha's hand slappled hard on Sir Zah's shoulder. I could see him wince and recoil to remain standing.
And then King Jamukha started bawling.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WITH YOUUUU!"
Yep. I was expecting this.
"I promised to come back in six months, give them time to train and get stronger, and revisit the deal. The elder dragons promised their youths would not attack for at least a year, but we are going to prove that it doesn't matter if I'm not around. Mismede can fend for itself. We'll go see if you or Elze can punch the harder."
Oh. That's right. Miss Elze was also very discouraged about how punching a dragon only ended up injuring her fist. But she was strong, and instead of being discouraged, like Miss Yae she was only gearing up to make sure the next time absolutely NOTHING should be able to stand up to her punch.
Unlike Miss Yae however, she could not train so easily around the palace. Everything around here was just so fragile.
"YOU PROMISE?!"
"Let's go punch some dragon faces, yeah."
/"What is a hero without the ability to show off?"/ Lady Monika's voice echoed through the room. /"Nothing but a fart in the wind."/
Snerk. I put a hand up over my mouth to cover my unladylike snort and twisted smile.
The King of Mismede chuckled, slapped Sir Zah a few more times, and pulled back. He turned towards the image on the table. "So you won against the dragons, right? Oh, I'd like to see that!"
Boom. Boom.
This time it was the sound of dragons dropping down, slamming onto the ground, right across the invisible border that separated Mismede from draconic territory. These were not mere dragon young, they were incredibly massive, powerful creatures that made the three interlopers look like little mice
"GRAOOOOH!" the dragons roared in well-justified outrage. The sound of it was like we were right there. How terrifying!
Sir Zah on the illusion stage stomped his feet, kicking up only a little bit of dust. Left and right and bulged his chest. He looked quite unimpressive compared to those titans of draconic might.
And he roared back.
"KREEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOONK!" (2)
The sound filled the room. First the air seemed to get pulled right out of our lungs, and then we were blasted with the bone-shaking sound, rumbling like thunder with a faintly metallic underlayer that we could almost taste at the back of our throats.
I felt a bolt of fearful lightning prickle up through my spine. I could see the dragons flinch in the face of the almighty fury behind that roar. It was no mere beast's roar- it was the sound of nothing but power unrivaled, pure in its violence, fearing nothing… a sound befitting only the King of Monsters.
I could see that was the moment they decided that Sir Zah's nonsense about having a dragon's soul… could possibly have any validity.
Chancellor Glatz stared at Sir Zah with bewilderment. He smiled back. The room vibrated with a toothy rumble.
He looked at the table again, and then he blinked. This sort of magic… remote viewing! All-encompassing recall! It carried even sound! Forget the whole dragon business for now, this had incredible strategic military utility! His thoughts were whirling, he looked up and then by chance our eyes met.
Comrade. I welcome thee.
I nodded in sympathy. He was enlightened. He nodded too, and his gaze showed only a willingness to help in whatever way he was able. Our differences in age and lineage meant nothing, we were now allies forever.
Then I blinked.
Wait. Was this plan? Sir Zah promised to make sure this alliance would push through no matter what. SEAGULLS!
King Jamukah's eyes glittered like stars in almost boyish delight. The more powerful Sir Zah appeared, the more he was worth befriending for savagely violent shenanigans. Sir Zah whispered something to him. He nodded and returned to his seat.
Sir Zah waved, and the illusion over the table changed into another distant view of the world – showing the border between Belfast, Mismede, and Regulus along the final stretch of the Great River Gao to the ocean and flow from the great inland lake.
Fwoom.
A blue line appeared in mid-air. Startled, all of us except Sir Zah turned to stare at it. The line expanded up into a glowing blue rectangular portal in midair.
The blue portal moved backwards (3), and Lady Monika emerged from it like land features appearing as the surface of the waters receding with the tide.
Whiiisk. The portal collapsed back into a blue line and disappeared behind her. She dropped to the ground beside Sir Zah. Wait. What?
She opened her eyes and smiled.
Her green eyes still glowed with a faint inner power, but that... that was skin! That was hair! That was solidity! I knew how Miss Monika created the illusion of color, with millions of tiny boom tubes each shining a unique color - she called them picture elements, or pixels. There was always something a little too bright and unreal about it, not perfectly able to take natural light and cast shadows.
But now - that was real!
She was a real woman.
I put my hand to my chest and felt again the hammering in my heart. This was a mix, I think, of both being extremely happy for her, and not a small amount of fear. I began to comprehend just how *massive* was the favor given to them by Mismede. Belfast didn't give them much direct benefit in comparison, just expenses and lodgings. This was dangerous. I knew that Sir Zah's quest ultimately was just to give back Lady Monika her living body. Everything else was secondary, little services given in exchange for resources and information to reach that goal.
They were highly unimpressed with rewards like titles and wealth, or threats from nobles merely born to their station. If dragons failed to scare them any, mere humans and their armies couldn't contain them at all. Mismede was silly enough for his ilk.
They could abandon us.
What did we really have to keep them on our side? Nothing but sentimentality. Can we really count on only that?
She and Sir Zah leaned over and placed their hands on the table. They spoke at the same time, their faces lit up from below. /"We will be serious now."/
-.
-.
Last edited:
Hope you're not too affected by the volcanic ash falling.
Edit: great chapter as usual
Edit: great chapter as usual
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
Oh you should not have asked that question Yumina. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?
Why… How is it that this fills me with both dread and anticipation at the same time?
Murphy> Girl, stop sending me these bug reports.
I'm not. I'm far enough away from it, but I do still live right next to an active volcano.
If I were you, I'd move the fuck away from that. You don't fuck around with volcanos, just asks those people who went "exploring" the inside of one and then *became* the inside of one.
JennyDracos
Eccentric Hugging Lady
- Location
- Chicago
Pretty sure the typhoons are more of a problem than the volcano most times.
Unpossible.
The volcano chain just so happens to follow the Pan-National Highway chain almost exactly.
World> Why are you so poor?
Philippines> Because every time there's progress, Mother Nature comes along to fuck us over and make us spend for recovery.
Philippines> You know what? Fuck mother nature.
Philippines> MORE COAL PLANTS!
Will PM the links or fix the ffnet links later.
38.4 Yumina Interrupt
-.
-.
"I want you to remember that, all things considered, Belfast and Mismede should BE AT WAR RIGHT NOW instead of discussing an alliance."
Boom. Rudely stated, but it was a fact. Instantly we were all at full alert, and though we were at peace tension ratcheted between the two halves of the table.
Lady Monika continued:
/"Consider the following:
/"First, by this time Sushie Ernea Ortlinde should have been captive or dead. She was attacked by a [Dark] magic Summoner, who had *lizardfolk* warriors as his weapon. Duke Ortlinde by now would have been disgraced or forced into treason.
/"Second, the King of Belfast should have been poisoned, apparently by the Ambassador of Mismede. This in itself would have been a clear justification for war. The execution of the Mismede ambassador and marks of the revenge laid upon her body, and how other beastkin living in Belfast suddenly are made prey by the maddened populace give Mismede ample reason to fight to the utmost.
/"Third, anti-beastkin and anti-human sentiment intensifies for generations as both sides get proof that the other side are faithless and can't be trusted."/
"Like it or not, the plot was only possible because there's enough people on both sides to WANT something like that to happen," Sir Zah added.
Then he slammed his fists on the table. "But just because you say you want an alliance doesn't mean a thing like that can even happen in good order! How can you call yourselves allies… when both of your soldiery don't trust each other, both of your peoples only expect to use each other to bleed the enemy dry before fighting for real?! There is glory in war, and plenty who want to claim it! Against each other is just as good as with each other!"
/"Above tactics is strategy. Above strategy is logistics. Before logistics is politics. And the root of politics are societal factors."/
"More than the fact that there is no trust between your two nations – you fought together twenty years ago, but instead of bringing you closer, that left your nobles thinking that you were taken advantage of by the other. There is too much greed for glory in both your nations. Leene has told me this."
King Jamukha nodded. If the wise Matriarch of the Fairies says it, it must be so. The hearts of the people were often hidden from their leaders, who feel that their emotions can be whipped up into whatever they see fit.
"It is necessary here to have a cohesive war plan that does more than just happens to rely on your independent forces just happening to attack at mostly the same time on different portions of the enemy invasion corridor. Until it can be seen that your armies are fighting and getting bloodied together, comradeship will be hard to find between such vastly different mindsets."
"Sir Zah… it has happened before," my father interrupted. "A volunteer force from Mismede… broke the enemy's thrust towards the capital long enough to change the tempo of the war. It was there that the war began to turn against Regulus' superiority in numbers."
He looked up towards the King of Mismede and said "We shall never forget their sacrifice, and their honor shall ring forever."
King Jamukha only nodded somberly. "The woman I loved died for this, I won't let it go to waste."
Sir Zah smiled softly in sympathy. "Understood. But while the common people may find common ground, we still have an issue with combining force."
The map showed a red arrow plunging down the Zeno Gap and masses of red ships crowding the river Gao. "It would be extremely silly to think that the enemy wouldn't ever learn from their mistakes in the previous war."
Red arrows curved in from the east. /"Or that we are the only ones who are ever allowed to build alliances and make simultaneous offensives."/
King Jamukha rubbed his chin. "Hmm. That's right. Those holy knights in Rammish are goin' on and on about justice while taking gold from anything they see. If Tristwin died, they'd have jumped on the war right quick."
"A Holy War against beastkin using the King of Belfast's murder would be a good excuse as any," added Chancellor Glatz. "And they would pillage and despoil all the way to Berge with nary a twig to their conscience."
Then Sir Zah waved at the map, and the enemy attack shattered and dispersed into a shower of red flakes. "But whatever advantage the enemy have in manpower have become IRRELEVANT. As the saying goes: If you know yourself and not your enemy, you will face defeat as much as victory. There is something we have that Regulus doesn't know about and THAT will make all the difference.
"Care to guess what that is?"
"Isn't it… you?" my father dryly replied. "If you didn't randomly come across Sue on the road, we WOULD be at war with Mismede right now. Please ruin the enemy's plans by accident even more."
At the same time, Chancellor Glatz said "Is it the Chapa-ai?! You have more Gates?!" Then he realized what the King of Belfast was saying. "CAN YOU *BUILD* GATES?!"
"It's mobility," I said with a sigh and rubbed my forehead. "You're always going on about how speed is always the first virtue in battle."
Lady Monika chuckled. /"The answer is yes. And yes. And yes."/
"The reason you guys let me get away with so much shite is because you know just how much I change the board. I am disrespectful little twit, I am aware."
/"Indeed, Player needs someone brave enough to tell him when he is being too gormless. I find myself too amused sometimes with how he will have to work to get himself out of the trouble his stupid mouth has put himself into."/
Of course you do. I sighed softly. An immortal finds amusement wherever she must. I considered how painful it must have been, to spend so long without a body – unable to touch, unable to feel, unable to taste, unable to kiss – how could love survive with nothing more than whispers? How long before one is tempted by the touch of others, how long before someone feels like just an object?
The love between Sir Zah and Lady Monika, I did not know for how long they have done this… already it is a tale for the ages.
"But it is because I know you are not puffed up in your egoes and need to feel secure by putting down others in their place that I feel comfortable enough in your presence to do this. Those who are too concerned with putting people in their proper places can never break away from their cages of circumstance. Your souls are not weighed down by gravity, and I am amazed at my luck.
"I'm happy to help, you know that. I am not loyal to ideas of nationhood and obligations of fealty – I am loyal to PEOPLE. Specific people, and it so happens that you are both kings bothered with the malingering within your realms, so YOUR problems are MY problems now. I care about your kingdoms because the people I care about live in them.
Wow this is almost disgustingly open of you, Sir Zah! This I dared not say. But I found myself smiling.
Admitting to this sort of things could be seen as a weakness, or arrogance in that there is no one that is above being offended, but we could see straight to the heart of it. If Sir Zah didn't like you, then he would just *leave*. He likes to act up to provoke reactions – it's fun, like teasing friends, and the closest of friends are the ones you would never fear to offend.
And in fact, it can be said that the best of friends can be cruelest to each other and just laugh it off as pranks. You can say the most hurtful things to each other, insults that would be duel-worthy from others, and take it as an invitation to one-up each other.
Ah, sometimes I wished for such a best friend. Of course no one would dare to be impolite in the face of the Crown Princess.
No one but Sir Zah.
I was beginning to understand why Lady Monika would let him get away with things… it is frustrating to me, because I have to deal with the after-effects of his shenanigans, but watching *someone else* be forced to deal with it? Their faces? Hilarious.
Sir Zah was a p̷a̷i̷n̷ gift that was best shared with as many people as possible.
"I ask for no great rewards, no authority, nor honors – it is honor enough to know there are still good kings that care about their people. I understand that the feudal contract is the basis for how politics works, and good works and loyalty should be rewarded or a King fails to uphold his duty to his vassals. I know it makes you uncomfortable. Power that does not have levers to control it is too dangerous to have around."
/"But when you get to the levels of power that we operate in, such things… are not important to us at all. We either deal with individuals, or bestir with nations and societies as a whole.
/"Trust is a far scarcer thing. For too long we have been looked upon with fear. Fear and hidden disgust. Or perverse lusts at a broken thing. At first, people are grateful, and easy to give praise… at first they pity us. Then they start to find it normal to ask. They start to ask for more, and more… and they demand… and then… They kill. Many a man would rather die than be humiliated."/
"So now I just make no more false politeness unless I were too lazy to be bothered to react even to insults. If this was a transactional affair, I would quickly get bored and perform only the minimum required. The triggers to keep me content in the service of another are easy, do not overthink it. As long as we keep ideas of remuneration vague and you forgive my less onerous caprices – then let none find us wanting.
"I am Zah Playa von Chara."
/"I am Monika."/
They intoned at the same time */"None shall find us wanting."/*
"This Alliance WILL happen. The least I can do in gratitude for the friendship you have shown me is to secure the peace between your two nations. I sing about it because that's how far I consider it a non-problem. Even SEAGULLS are a bigger danger. I will CRUSH those who dare to hinder its establishment. I am fully prepared to go full xianxia over this."
/"Player is totally a yandere. Do not underestimate how many people he is willing to kill to see your smiles. As long as you do not betray his confidence in you, he will never leave your side."/
King Jamukha curled into himself and looked away like a shy young maiden. I did not need to see that. Stop.
"And that is why, for now, I am offering to fix this issue between your kingdoms and contribute to the war effort through less violent means."
King Jamukha gave a rakish "Heh heh heh" and raised his hand. "But what if I want the violent solution?"
"Then I'm gonna tell your wife on you."
The Beast King grimaced. "That's dirty fighting, boyo. I withdraw the question."
My father put his elbows on the table and steepled his finger together. "What do you propose, Sir Zah Playa?"
"I give you - Doctrine: Mobility. It has three levels – logistic, strategic, and tactic."
Lady Monika nodded and declared with a careful academic tone of voice:
/"- Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and his
/"- environment, he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left.
/"- Motion, of necessity, involves a change in perspective.
/"- Commissioner Pravin Lal,
/"-- A Social History of Planet."/
Who?
"The Chapa-Ai Ring Gate System is a functional, modern equivalent, to those Ancient Gates that even now no one understands how they work. They are much less robust, but possible to make in sections, making them somewhat portable. But the sheer complexity of their construction means that only someone capable of unimaginable precision and gargantuan magic reserves can manufacture them. This will have tremendous impact on your economy and your relationships with your tradesmen.
"Ease of travel between Mismede and Belfast requires an immense amount of trust. But having easy transport is crucial towards a more unified defense and better utilization of resources. I am going to provide Gates, but not to the point that it will obsolete your road system and cause economic shock."
/"Your roads are little more than cleared dirt. To ease movement outside of the Gate System, we offer to cut through forests and lay down new, stronger highway systems. Here. Here."/ Lady Monika traced new more direct routes between Belfast and Mismede. /"To meet… here. We will build here a bridge."/
"Wait, when you said you meddle with nations as a whole, I didn't expect that to mean you reshape the face of kingdoms as a whole!" my father burst out. He looked fierce, but his bared teeth was open in mirth.
Sir Zah made a sheepish little laugh. "I guess you could say that… city-building… is a hobby of mine, yes. Building bridges, making tunnels… there is an artistry in them too that many fail to appreciate."
/"There is nothing like war as the surest way to destroy wealth,"/ Lady Monika added. /"While claiming territories and profiting off the people there sounds like a good way to reclaim the expenses of war, lives are not so easily returned. A world-spanning Empire might dominate the world for a hundred years, and then crumble after as it grows complacent and throws away its wealth in futile wars to appease dreams of former glory. For an Empire to dominate for a thousand years like Regulus, its foundation must be strong – in well-connected inner regions, in a wide population base. In infrastructure, in systems of training and equipment, in an *ethos* that demands constant outwards expansion, that it can always become greater instead of merely being the greatest.
/"There comes a point wherein war itself ceases to become profitable, when a nation becomes too big. It needs the biggest armies simply because it has grown so large that so much must be spent at all times for its own defense."/
"And for all of these things to happen, the first you need are good roads and strong bridges," Sir Zah finished.
"Aren't you just giving those things to the enemy if you don't have a strong army?" King Jamuhka asked with furrowed brows. "Isn't strength the first thing a nation must have?"
"An army marches on its stomach. More food, more men. More trade, more weapons. Attract great talent by offering riches and honors. The wealthiest nations are not always the strongest, but to have a strong army you need more people. You *get* more people by being able to feed them more and make it easier for them to meet each other."
Lady Monika smiled impishly, and raised a finger. She poked it into a hole made from the index and thumb of her other hand, in and out, and said /"Where do you think more people come from anyway?"/
I blushed and looked away. H-how crude! When someone usually so elegant speaks things so brusquely, they have much greater impact than from someone already expected to be a boor. King Jamukha only laughed.
Sir Zah huffed. "Of course, this needs at least a generation. It doesn't help for the war that's a month from now. Long-term plans rely upon short-term survival."
I blinked and perked up. "T-that's right! Sir Zah, I have to ask, what is the point of this then? Just to make it easier for armies to march?"
A thought suddenly sprang to mind. The map showed a long and strangely willowy bridge spanning the Gao. The bridge sections seemed to be held up by… ropes? That looked a bit weak.
"Bridges are also… weak points, aren't they? They're kind of… obvious?"
"That is a feature, not a bug," Sir Zah replied. "If Regulus was serious about war, then of course they would send saboteurs and strong magicians. What a great way to find them and kill them outside of the protection of the great mass of their army."
I blinked. "Huh. But it's going to take a long time to build anyway, won't the war happen before it's finished?"
"Phftt. A month, tops." Sir Zah waved dismissively. "Roads are easy, I just have to zoom all over the place slashing through forests with controlled burns and raising and solidifying the ground into rock with [Earth] magic. The suspension bridge relies upon massive iron-strand wires, but the pillars and decking can be made of anything."
My father leaned back and raised his palm. "Wait. Closing off the River Gao permanently is something that all nations will take as a hostile act. We've long been capable of building bridges over the Gao's shallower sections." Then he hummed again and began rubbing his beard too. "Though I suppose a bascule-drawbridge has also long been considered also… quite a bit complex though."
"It is a tall-ass bridge, ships will have no problems getting through."
My father stared narrowly at him. "How do you plan on doing this within a month? This is the sort of endeavor that will take years. Not that I doubt you -" he was totally doubting it "but that sounds unfeasible. Magic can only do so much, this is a structure that requires precision."
"Because we can build most of it on land, and then we can just [Boom Tube] it to place. If Belfast does one half and Mismede does the other half, it can get done much faster. It's much easier to assemble and test load-bearing structures on dry land."
My father blinked. "Yesss. That is a thing you are capable of doing, I had not considered that."
/"There is another, better reason why we are so focused on the showy nature of landscape arrangement between Belfast and Mismede."/
Sir Zah nodded. "The enemy outside is never as dangerous as the enemy inside. You can't seriously expect me to believe that your internal foundations are so secure. Elements in Belfast just tried to assassinate their king, fer crissakes. And I'm told Mismede's factionalism between different tribes is held largely at bay by Jamukha's willingness to punch anyone into compliance."
The Beast King shrugged. "Eh. It works."
I sighed. Of course it does. Violence was the foundation of all political process.
It is only going to last until King Jamukha dies unless his successor is powerful enough or charismatic enough to keep other factions suppressed. A government that lacks a monopoly on violence is unstable, as we have just shown.
"We all know that this alliance is an ad hoc thing. We have no time to feel it out and work out a doctrine about how two different armies might fight towards a common goal. Confusion greatly inhibits the efficient application of force." Sir Zah jabbed his finger towards the Rammish Theocracy border. "But what if we make use of that confusion for our benefit instead?"
I stared at him dryly. Benefiting from making others confused. Well of course you would say that.
"It's one thing to say that two countries are now allied… but what if, in an almost instant for political time scales, road networks between two nations were suddenly connected? Trade networks unified? Forced march drills are done? A trade of special groups to be attached to the other nation's armies – Mismede has unlike other armies an air force… but lacks good heavy shock cavalry, for example. What would those looking at it from the outside think?"
My father suddenly sat up, grinning fiercely, and he slammed his palms down on the table. "They would think that this alliance HAD LONG BEEN IN THE PLANNING!" Wham. "That we have already done much more preparation in secret!"
King Jamukha frowned, and did not speak. Chancellor Glatz spoke up after a few moments: "That… sounds plausible. Any deficiencies might appear to foreign spies as obvious misinformation. Fascinating."
"If you are moving too fast, this is called taking control of the situation!" Sir Zah raised his chin.
/"What most important is how the people will think of this. If everything moves too astonishingly quickly, this means the kingdoms were already unofficially allied all this time, and it's now only made public. There should be less reason to feel suspicious or that someone is being taken advantage of, as the speed of improvements themselves prove that deals had already been worked out. One can trust that their leaders have a plan. The commonfolk can rest at ease."/
"It also neatly sidesteps the traditional rationale for securing an alliance… you know," Sir Zah shrugged. "Political marriages."
I tried not to wince. King Jamukha raised an eyebrow, and then looked to me. Then to Sir Zah. And then he smirked towards my father. My father crossed his arms and silently stared back. He snorted, looking all too smug for some reason.
"There's no reason to make big shows and ceremony to strengthen the allience when people would most likely just invent reasons behind the face of it about how it was already a settled and done thing."
/"If the alliance is *known* to be prepared to receive battle, that ironically might give Regulus pause to start the war in the place."/
"If Regulus does make war, both your populations don't feel as wary about each other, and you win. But if Regulus doesn't make war, you get good trade routes anyway and win again."
I recalled: Behind tactics is strategy. Behind strategy is logistics. Behind logistics is politics. Behind politics are cultural factors.
Sir Zah and Lady Monika chose a solution that cuts through and resolves *all of them* at *all levels*. I looked at them with wide-eyed awe.
It all makes sense now – even their seemingly random silliness. As long as you are moving too quickly, everyone else is too busy trying to catch up that they can't *think*.
Lady Monika noticed my expression, and how that same comprehension was dawning on the others, and raised a hand to hide her mouth. She giggled softly for a moment and then lowered her hand back to the table. /"But don't worry. Even if things happen too fast even for this less destructive solution, it's not like we would hesitate at a more violent solution as well."/
"I don't WANT to murder feckloads of people, but if I have no choice then I will." Sir Zah sagged slightly.
Lady Monika continued to stare at me, with that slight and completely humorless smile of hers. I squirmed in my seat, feeling as if all hot and sticky, pressured by such a burning gaze.
/"We are totally yandere for you,"/ she said. /"Live with it."/
I don't even know what that means!
-.
-.
-.
"I want you to remember that, all things considered, Belfast and Mismede should BE AT WAR RIGHT NOW instead of discussing an alliance."
Boom. Rudely stated, but it was a fact. Instantly we were all at full alert, and though we were at peace tension ratcheted between the two halves of the table.
Lady Monika continued:
/"Consider the following:
/"First, by this time Sushie Ernea Ortlinde should have been captive or dead. She was attacked by a [Dark] magic Summoner, who had *lizardfolk* warriors as his weapon. Duke Ortlinde by now would have been disgraced or forced into treason.
/"Second, the King of Belfast should have been poisoned, apparently by the Ambassador of Mismede. This in itself would have been a clear justification for war. The execution of the Mismede ambassador and marks of the revenge laid upon her body, and how other beastkin living in Belfast suddenly are made prey by the maddened populace give Mismede ample reason to fight to the utmost.
/"Third, anti-beastkin and anti-human sentiment intensifies for generations as both sides get proof that the other side are faithless and can't be trusted."/
"Like it or not, the plot was only possible because there's enough people on both sides to WANT something like that to happen," Sir Zah added.
Then he slammed his fists on the table. "But just because you say you want an alliance doesn't mean a thing like that can even happen in good order! How can you call yourselves allies… when both of your soldiery don't trust each other, both of your peoples only expect to use each other to bleed the enemy dry before fighting for real?! There is glory in war, and plenty who want to claim it! Against each other is just as good as with each other!"
/"Above tactics is strategy. Above strategy is logistics. Before logistics is politics. And the root of politics are societal factors."/
"More than the fact that there is no trust between your two nations – you fought together twenty years ago, but instead of bringing you closer, that left your nobles thinking that you were taken advantage of by the other. There is too much greed for glory in both your nations. Leene has told me this."
King Jamukha nodded. If the wise Matriarch of the Fairies says it, it must be so. The hearts of the people were often hidden from their leaders, who feel that their emotions can be whipped up into whatever they see fit.
"It is necessary here to have a cohesive war plan that does more than just happens to rely on your independent forces just happening to attack at mostly the same time on different portions of the enemy invasion corridor. Until it can be seen that your armies are fighting and getting bloodied together, comradeship will be hard to find between such vastly different mindsets."
"Sir Zah… it has happened before," my father interrupted. "A volunteer force from Mismede… broke the enemy's thrust towards the capital long enough to change the tempo of the war. It was there that the war began to turn against Regulus' superiority in numbers."
He looked up towards the King of Mismede and said "We shall never forget their sacrifice, and their honor shall ring forever."
King Jamukha only nodded somberly. "The woman I loved died for this, I won't let it go to waste."
Sir Zah smiled softly in sympathy. "Understood. But while the common people may find common ground, we still have an issue with combining force."
The map showed a red arrow plunging down the Zeno Gap and masses of red ships crowding the river Gao. "It would be extremely silly to think that the enemy wouldn't ever learn from their mistakes in the previous war."
Red arrows curved in from the east. /"Or that we are the only ones who are ever allowed to build alliances and make simultaneous offensives."/
King Jamukha rubbed his chin. "Hmm. That's right. Those holy knights in Rammish are goin' on and on about justice while taking gold from anything they see. If Tristwin died, they'd have jumped on the war right quick."
"A Holy War against beastkin using the King of Belfast's murder would be a good excuse as any," added Chancellor Glatz. "And they would pillage and despoil all the way to Berge with nary a twig to their conscience."
Then Sir Zah waved at the map, and the enemy attack shattered and dispersed into a shower of red flakes. "But whatever advantage the enemy have in manpower have become IRRELEVANT. As the saying goes: If you know yourself and not your enemy, you will face defeat as much as victory. There is something we have that Regulus doesn't know about and THAT will make all the difference.
"Care to guess what that is?"
"Isn't it… you?" my father dryly replied. "If you didn't randomly come across Sue on the road, we WOULD be at war with Mismede right now. Please ruin the enemy's plans by accident even more."
At the same time, Chancellor Glatz said "Is it the Chapa-ai?! You have more Gates?!" Then he realized what the King of Belfast was saying. "CAN YOU *BUILD* GATES?!"
"It's mobility," I said with a sigh and rubbed my forehead. "You're always going on about how speed is always the first virtue in battle."
Lady Monika chuckled. /"The answer is yes. And yes. And yes."/
"The reason you guys let me get away with so much shite is because you know just how much I change the board. I am disrespectful little twit, I am aware."
/"Indeed, Player needs someone brave enough to tell him when he is being too gormless. I find myself too amused sometimes with how he will have to work to get himself out of the trouble his stupid mouth has put himself into."/
Of course you do. I sighed softly. An immortal finds amusement wherever she must. I considered how painful it must have been, to spend so long without a body – unable to touch, unable to feel, unable to taste, unable to kiss – how could love survive with nothing more than whispers? How long before one is tempted by the touch of others, how long before someone feels like just an object?
The love between Sir Zah and Lady Monika, I did not know for how long they have done this… already it is a tale for the ages.
"But it is because I know you are not puffed up in your egoes and need to feel secure by putting down others in their place that I feel comfortable enough in your presence to do this. Those who are too concerned with putting people in their proper places can never break away from their cages of circumstance. Your souls are not weighed down by gravity, and I am amazed at my luck.
"I'm happy to help, you know that. I am not loyal to ideas of nationhood and obligations of fealty – I am loyal to PEOPLE. Specific people, and it so happens that you are both kings bothered with the malingering within your realms, so YOUR problems are MY problems now. I care about your kingdoms because the people I care about live in them.
Wow this is almost disgustingly open of you, Sir Zah! This I dared not say. But I found myself smiling.
Admitting to this sort of things could be seen as a weakness, or arrogance in that there is no one that is above being offended, but we could see straight to the heart of it. If Sir Zah didn't like you, then he would just *leave*. He likes to act up to provoke reactions – it's fun, like teasing friends, and the closest of friends are the ones you would never fear to offend.
And in fact, it can be said that the best of friends can be cruelest to each other and just laugh it off as pranks. You can say the most hurtful things to each other, insults that would be duel-worthy from others, and take it as an invitation to one-up each other.
Ah, sometimes I wished for such a best friend. Of course no one would dare to be impolite in the face of the Crown Princess.
No one but Sir Zah.
I was beginning to understand why Lady Monika would let him get away with things… it is frustrating to me, because I have to deal with the after-effects of his shenanigans, but watching *someone else* be forced to deal with it? Their faces? Hilarious.
Sir Zah was a p̷a̷i̷n̷ gift that was best shared with as many people as possible.
"I ask for no great rewards, no authority, nor honors – it is honor enough to know there are still good kings that care about their people. I understand that the feudal contract is the basis for how politics works, and good works and loyalty should be rewarded or a King fails to uphold his duty to his vassals. I know it makes you uncomfortable. Power that does not have levers to control it is too dangerous to have around."
/"But when you get to the levels of power that we operate in, such things… are not important to us at all. We either deal with individuals, or bestir with nations and societies as a whole.
/"Trust is a far scarcer thing. For too long we have been looked upon with fear. Fear and hidden disgust. Or perverse lusts at a broken thing. At first, people are grateful, and easy to give praise… at first they pity us. Then they start to find it normal to ask. They start to ask for more, and more… and they demand… and then… They kill. Many a man would rather die than be humiliated."/
"So now I just make no more false politeness unless I were too lazy to be bothered to react even to insults. If this was a transactional affair, I would quickly get bored and perform only the minimum required. The triggers to keep me content in the service of another are easy, do not overthink it. As long as we keep ideas of remuneration vague and you forgive my less onerous caprices – then let none find us wanting.
"I am Zah Playa von Chara."
/"I am Monika."/
They intoned at the same time */"None shall find us wanting."/*
"This Alliance WILL happen. The least I can do in gratitude for the friendship you have shown me is to secure the peace between your two nations. I sing about it because that's how far I consider it a non-problem. Even SEAGULLS are a bigger danger. I will CRUSH those who dare to hinder its establishment. I am fully prepared to go full xianxia over this."
/"Player is totally a yandere. Do not underestimate how many people he is willing to kill to see your smiles. As long as you do not betray his confidence in you, he will never leave your side."/
King Jamukha curled into himself and looked away like a shy young maiden. I did not need to see that. Stop.
"And that is why, for now, I am offering to fix this issue between your kingdoms and contribute to the war effort through less violent means."
King Jamukha gave a rakish "Heh heh heh" and raised his hand. "But what if I want the violent solution?"
"Then I'm gonna tell your wife on you."
The Beast King grimaced. "That's dirty fighting, boyo. I withdraw the question."
My father put his elbows on the table and steepled his finger together. "What do you propose, Sir Zah Playa?"
"I give you - Doctrine: Mobility. It has three levels – logistic, strategic, and tactic."
Lady Monika nodded and declared with a careful academic tone of voice:
/"- Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and his
/"- environment, he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left.
/"- Motion, of necessity, involves a change in perspective.
/"- Commissioner Pravin Lal,
/"-- A Social History of Planet."/
Who?
"The Chapa-Ai Ring Gate System is a functional, modern equivalent, to those Ancient Gates that even now no one understands how they work. They are much less robust, but possible to make in sections, making them somewhat portable. But the sheer complexity of their construction means that only someone capable of unimaginable precision and gargantuan magic reserves can manufacture them. This will have tremendous impact on your economy and your relationships with your tradesmen.
"Ease of travel between Mismede and Belfast requires an immense amount of trust. But having easy transport is crucial towards a more unified defense and better utilization of resources. I am going to provide Gates, but not to the point that it will obsolete your road system and cause economic shock."
/"Your roads are little more than cleared dirt. To ease movement outside of the Gate System, we offer to cut through forests and lay down new, stronger highway systems. Here. Here."/ Lady Monika traced new more direct routes between Belfast and Mismede. /"To meet… here. We will build here a bridge."/
"Wait, when you said you meddle with nations as a whole, I didn't expect that to mean you reshape the face of kingdoms as a whole!" my father burst out. He looked fierce, but his bared teeth was open in mirth.
Sir Zah made a sheepish little laugh. "I guess you could say that… city-building… is a hobby of mine, yes. Building bridges, making tunnels… there is an artistry in them too that many fail to appreciate."
/"There is nothing like war as the surest way to destroy wealth,"/ Lady Monika added. /"While claiming territories and profiting off the people there sounds like a good way to reclaim the expenses of war, lives are not so easily returned. A world-spanning Empire might dominate the world for a hundred years, and then crumble after as it grows complacent and throws away its wealth in futile wars to appease dreams of former glory. For an Empire to dominate for a thousand years like Regulus, its foundation must be strong – in well-connected inner regions, in a wide population base. In infrastructure, in systems of training and equipment, in an *ethos* that demands constant outwards expansion, that it can always become greater instead of merely being the greatest.
/"There comes a point wherein war itself ceases to become profitable, when a nation becomes too big. It needs the biggest armies simply because it has grown so large that so much must be spent at all times for its own defense."/
"And for all of these things to happen, the first you need are good roads and strong bridges," Sir Zah finished.
"Aren't you just giving those things to the enemy if you don't have a strong army?" King Jamuhka asked with furrowed brows. "Isn't strength the first thing a nation must have?"
"An army marches on its stomach. More food, more men. More trade, more weapons. Attract great talent by offering riches and honors. The wealthiest nations are not always the strongest, but to have a strong army you need more people. You *get* more people by being able to feed them more and make it easier for them to meet each other."
Lady Monika smiled impishly, and raised a finger. She poked it into a hole made from the index and thumb of her other hand, in and out, and said /"Where do you think more people come from anyway?"/
I blushed and looked away. H-how crude! When someone usually so elegant speaks things so brusquely, they have much greater impact than from someone already expected to be a boor. King Jamukha only laughed.
Sir Zah huffed. "Of course, this needs at least a generation. It doesn't help for the war that's a month from now. Long-term plans rely upon short-term survival."
I blinked and perked up. "T-that's right! Sir Zah, I have to ask, what is the point of this then? Just to make it easier for armies to march?"
A thought suddenly sprang to mind. The map showed a long and strangely willowy bridge spanning the Gao. The bridge sections seemed to be held up by… ropes? That looked a bit weak.
"Bridges are also… weak points, aren't they? They're kind of… obvious?"
"That is a feature, not a bug," Sir Zah replied. "If Regulus was serious about war, then of course they would send saboteurs and strong magicians. What a great way to find them and kill them outside of the protection of the great mass of their army."
I blinked. "Huh. But it's going to take a long time to build anyway, won't the war happen before it's finished?"
"Phftt. A month, tops." Sir Zah waved dismissively. "Roads are easy, I just have to zoom all over the place slashing through forests with controlled burns and raising and solidifying the ground into rock with [Earth] magic. The suspension bridge relies upon massive iron-strand wires, but the pillars and decking can be made of anything."
My father leaned back and raised his palm. "Wait. Closing off the River Gao permanently is something that all nations will take as a hostile act. We've long been capable of building bridges over the Gao's shallower sections." Then he hummed again and began rubbing his beard too. "Though I suppose a bascule-drawbridge has also long been considered also… quite a bit complex though."
"It is a tall-ass bridge, ships will have no problems getting through."
My father stared narrowly at him. "How do you plan on doing this within a month? This is the sort of endeavor that will take years. Not that I doubt you -" he was totally doubting it "but that sounds unfeasible. Magic can only do so much, this is a structure that requires precision."
"Because we can build most of it on land, and then we can just [Boom Tube] it to place. If Belfast does one half and Mismede does the other half, it can get done much faster. It's much easier to assemble and test load-bearing structures on dry land."
My father blinked. "Yesss. That is a thing you are capable of doing, I had not considered that."
/"There is another, better reason why we are so focused on the showy nature of landscape arrangement between Belfast and Mismede."/
Sir Zah nodded. "The enemy outside is never as dangerous as the enemy inside. You can't seriously expect me to believe that your internal foundations are so secure. Elements in Belfast just tried to assassinate their king, fer crissakes. And I'm told Mismede's factionalism between different tribes is held largely at bay by Jamukha's willingness to punch anyone into compliance."
The Beast King shrugged. "Eh. It works."
I sighed. Of course it does. Violence was the foundation of all political process.
It is only going to last until King Jamukha dies unless his successor is powerful enough or charismatic enough to keep other factions suppressed. A government that lacks a monopoly on violence is unstable, as we have just shown.
"We all know that this alliance is an ad hoc thing. We have no time to feel it out and work out a doctrine about how two different armies might fight towards a common goal. Confusion greatly inhibits the efficient application of force." Sir Zah jabbed his finger towards the Rammish Theocracy border. "But what if we make use of that confusion for our benefit instead?"
I stared at him dryly. Benefiting from making others confused. Well of course you would say that.
"It's one thing to say that two countries are now allied… but what if, in an almost instant for political time scales, road networks between two nations were suddenly connected? Trade networks unified? Forced march drills are done? A trade of special groups to be attached to the other nation's armies – Mismede has unlike other armies an air force… but lacks good heavy shock cavalry, for example. What would those looking at it from the outside think?"
My father suddenly sat up, grinning fiercely, and he slammed his palms down on the table. "They would think that this alliance HAD LONG BEEN IN THE PLANNING!" Wham. "That we have already done much more preparation in secret!"
King Jamukha frowned, and did not speak. Chancellor Glatz spoke up after a few moments: "That… sounds plausible. Any deficiencies might appear to foreign spies as obvious misinformation. Fascinating."
"If you are moving too fast, this is called taking control of the situation!" Sir Zah raised his chin.
/"What most important is how the people will think of this. If everything moves too astonishingly quickly, this means the kingdoms were already unofficially allied all this time, and it's now only made public. There should be less reason to feel suspicious or that someone is being taken advantage of, as the speed of improvements themselves prove that deals had already been worked out. One can trust that their leaders have a plan. The commonfolk can rest at ease."/
"It also neatly sidesteps the traditional rationale for securing an alliance… you know," Sir Zah shrugged. "Political marriages."
I tried not to wince. King Jamukha raised an eyebrow, and then looked to me. Then to Sir Zah. And then he smirked towards my father. My father crossed his arms and silently stared back. He snorted, looking all too smug for some reason.
"There's no reason to make big shows and ceremony to strengthen the allience when people would most likely just invent reasons behind the face of it about how it was already a settled and done thing."
/"If the alliance is *known* to be prepared to receive battle, that ironically might give Regulus pause to start the war in the place."/
"If Regulus does make war, both your populations don't feel as wary about each other, and you win. But if Regulus doesn't make war, you get good trade routes anyway and win again."
I recalled: Behind tactics is strategy. Behind strategy is logistics. Behind logistics is politics. Behind politics are cultural factors.
Sir Zah and Lady Monika chose a solution that cuts through and resolves *all of them* at *all levels*. I looked at them with wide-eyed awe.
It all makes sense now – even their seemingly random silliness. As long as you are moving too quickly, everyone else is too busy trying to catch up that they can't *think*.
Lady Monika noticed my expression, and how that same comprehension was dawning on the others, and raised a hand to hide her mouth. She giggled softly for a moment and then lowered her hand back to the table. /"But don't worry. Even if things happen too fast even for this less destructive solution, it's not like we would hesitate at a more violent solution as well."/
"I don't WANT to murder feckloads of people, but if I have no choice then I will." Sir Zah sagged slightly.
Lady Monika continued to stare at me, with that slight and completely humorless smile of hers. I squirmed in my seat, feeling as if all hot and sticky, pressured by such a burning gaze.
/"We are totally yandere for you,"/ she said. /"Live with it."/
I don't even know what that means!
-.
-.
Last edited:
- Location
- Earth
This could be the tagline for the story, in my opinion. It's a good summary for Zah's brand of crazy.
JBcristal
Bring Me All The Puppies!
- Location
- Somewhere that doesn't have enough puppies.
Speaking of taglines, this could very well be a Light Novel title nowadays.
...and of course, in my mind, a pair of sunglasses fell onto Monika's eyes during these lines.
Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
Wow, this is some impressive off-the-cuff planning, as far as preventing a war goes. Make a bunch of instrastructure to unify the two countries, make it quick, and the people of both country & outside nations think the two countries have been allied for ages in secret, or at least talking about doing so. Impressive.
And you learnt this from strategy kingdom-builder games, bluepencil?
And you learnt this from strategy kingdom-builder games, bluepencil?
Pretty clever to rapidly increase the interactions between the people of both nations in a way that is profitable to both. That will make them a lot more familiar with each other and thus make them no longer a scary unknown thing.
They really did think this through, also earns plenty of money and creates new locations to build up with that money. It's a pretty reasonable long term plan really.
Hopefully it works out as hoped and people don't try to warp it in to something horrible instead.
They really did think this through, also earns plenty of money and creates new locations to build up with that money. It's a pretty reasonable long term plan really.
Hopefully it works out as hoped and people don't try to warp it in to something horrible instead.
There was a pretty strong hint there that it's from Alpha Centauri. Ah. Such a gem of a game.
Playa> And then, MY INTERNATIONAL FRANCHISING! MWAHAHAHAHA.
Yumina> ... *sigh*
Everyone, PM me scenarios about how this could be warped into something horrible.
38.5 Yumina Interrupt
-.
I huffed as I walked through the door. That was unexpectedly exhausting. Even if I did nothing but to sit there and occasionally be made to offer commentary if things sounded too unreasonable to the common people. Ah, they still expect princesses to be symbols of sympathy, huh?
My father and King Jamukha remained behind to discuss more finely the details of their alliance. After all, Sir Zah and I were technically simply third parties who were only doing a service.
A third party... "Mhhhm." I raised my hand above my head and stretched. I luxuriated in the fiery feeling of my muscles being unwound. "A third party…" I whispered openly. "A third force that can stand to make sure that both sides are keeping to their agreement. I guess it's true what they say – a chair with two legs can't stand."
But people on two legs do. But they do so by themselves for themselves.
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes - who watches the watchers?" Sir Zah noted. And then "You look like a cat."
"Bwah!" I yelped and swung my arms about. Oh noes. I forgot that we were no longer out in the road, and I was wearing my princess gown! White gown, white arm gloves, hair once again expertly washed and brushed – a white cat, I could understand the impression. I could feel my blood rushing to my face, quickly I lowered my hands and hid my blush behind my palms. How embarrassing!
And what happened to your profundities?! I looked up to see Sir Zah smirking down at me like the smuggest cat. Mistakes were made. I should never have been too comfortable in your presence!
"Don't mind it. It's cute. You worked hard." He grinned and raised his thumb like the symbol of peace or something.
"H-hearing that doesn't make me happy!" I lied.
"Mister Zah!"
We turned towards the excited wail. Miss Linze all but leaped out of her seat, while Miss Elze gave us a cool look while leaning on a wall. Miss Yae seated beside Miss Linze brushed breadcrumbs off her lap and stood up. She clenched one hand into a fist and wrapped the other hand over it, and bowed sharply. "Playa-dono! Welcome back!" she spoke strongly and briskly. "OKAERINASAIMASE!"
They were waiting here all this while. We even had lunch brought in through the meeting. I should probably apologize. Though… from what I could see from the stack of plates on a rolling table right next to Miss Yae… they had little shame about taking advantage of all the culinary courtesies of a royal house.
Audacity. Ever audacity. Shameless. Ever shameless. Ugh, this party was teaching me some terrible lessons.
But it all keeps working out, should I trust ittt?!!
Sir Zah stepped out ahead and waved "Oh hey-"
WHAPOW.
I was sure I didn't blink, but now Miss Elze was standing in front of me. Her fist was held straight out. A strong breeze flowed through the hallway.
A second later there was a far-off bang and crunch. Sir Zah was embedded face-first into the far wall of the corridor. Oh. Right. Punchface. So it was promised. So it was done.
"Wa-what is this godspeed?!!!" Miss Yae gasped.
Miss Elze's face was the same as Miss Linze, they were twins after all. But looking at her, she had a strong profile. Her cold eyes, her impassive expression, going from rest to a roaring volcanic burst then back to rest again in the space of an eyeblink – an impossible precision of force! Whereas Sir Zah flitters around with gusts of awesome power, Miss Elze arrives with sudden, overwhelming and unwavering drive!
My breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating quickly in my chest. How… enviable!
/"Veeery nice."/ whispered Lady Monika. She had been standing behind Sir Zah all this time.
And I could see a small drop of sweat flow down Miss Elze's temples. Her expression remained firm, but there was the dawning comprehension she may have messed up.
But I applaud your bravery, Miss Elze! I will always support you.
/"He probably deserved that."/
"Yeah I kinda did~…" Sir Zah moaned while still stuck halfway into a wall.
"You gonna make something of it?" Miss Elze hissed valiantly. "You want some of this too for a change?"
Miss Monika stared blandly down at her. She was literally looking down on Miss Elze. 'This girl is no threat', her whole demeanor exuded that. I could hear Miss Elze's teeth grinding, her fear being replaced by indignant anger. Ah, such spite! Unlike cowardly me, Miss Elze would not bow to anyone.
She remained in that beautiful punching pose.
It was the purest arrogance for Sir Zah and Lady Monika to declare that this Alliance would happen no matter what. But it was the look in those eyes that convinced us. Well, more like Lady Monika's eyes since Sir Zah was always wearing his mask. Her look was normally cold and penetrating, as if nothing around her was quite real. As if everything could be picked up and discarded without emotion, like something that can be loved intensely in the present but will not be sorely missed when it was gone.
But there was a warmth in those eyes now. My father, King Jamukha, she looked at them like with only a certain clarity as if they were nothing but pieces on the board. Sir Zah CARES. But Lady Monika only cares that Sir Zah gives a hoot about something. How odd really, the one whose eyes cannot be seen is the one who shows more genuine feeling.
But to me… her eyes said /'You are REAL to me'./
And towards Miss Elze, I could see now that her eyes… glittered with the same indulgent amusement that she gave Sir Zah on occasion? /'More!'/ that look implied. /'Intensify yourself! Show me how much further you can go with sort of behavior, you wicked wicked child! Ohohohoh!'/
You ruin a child by spoiling them too much, you know? Are you to blame for Sir Zah being the way he is? Hmm.
No, I suppose Sir Zah is strong-willed and purposeful with things he likes, and knows how to swallow his anger when it would serve him not, so he was no spoiled rotten child. They were a relationship of equals.
She nonchalantly walked past Miss Elze, refusing to act was itself firmly putting the young adventurer in her place.
Aaah! What is this viscous, yet oddly refreshing feeling – wait, am I sure this isn't just static cling from a charged environment? No? Very well then. Ah! What is this feeling!
Is this the joy of youth? The feeling that the only thing that matters is what's happening around you, with your most trusted companions! Ah! This is the meaning of high adventure!
"She doesn't realize that she's doing all this silent posing around now, is she?"
Wait what was that just now.
Ahem.
I came back to my senses to find that Lady Monika now had Miss Linze pressed to the wall.
Wait. I know this pose. This… this is how salacious! She had her elbow to the wall and loomed over Miss Linze.
/"Hey~"/ Lady Monika whispered huskily.
Miss Linze let out a helpless little "Eep!" as she blushed mightily and squirmed in place.
"Wait a second- shadows?" Miss Elze piped up, now standing beside me. "You're solid! I thought you couldn't do that except in your tiny body because there's not a way to control enough material for a full-size body!"
I grimaced minutely. "Yeees that is a thing now, apparently."
Miss Linze blinked. Her expression regained clarity, and then intensity. She looked up and hesitantly reached out. Lady Monika grabbed her hand and pressed it to her cheek. Miss Linze sucked in her breath.
"W-warm."
Lady Monika smiled gently. /"I too am made of layers. Deep inside I am boiling. Do you know what this means?"/
Miss Linze shook her head slowly and quivered like a trapped rabbit feeling the hot breath of a wolf on its face.
Lady Monika went all shifty-eyed and leaned closer and she whispered straight into Miss Linze's ear /"It means you too can now earn Monika Points."/
"Gleep!"
"NTR IS A TRASH FETISH MONIKA!" Sir Zah roared from across the room.
We turned about to see him sliding back into place, the marble-tiled floors of the palace icing up ahead of him so he could just flow frictionlessly forward. Huh. Water and wind. This kind of maneuver magic has been done before I suppose, but it had potential and was something I could try. My magic was [Earth] and [Wind], but I could flatten and smooth out ground surface and just have someone else freeze it. Sir Zah and I would not be hindered at all, while everyone else slips and slides.
I could see guards discreetly peering around the corners of the corridor far behind Sir Zah… but no one dared approach. It was like they could taste the signs of shenanigans afoot. No. Let us be a little charitable. There were formal talks going on behind the door at out backs. Interfering with anything could have drastic consequences.
Then with a high-pitched yell of "Wah-he-hoooo!" he launched off, made a double somersault in mid-air, and then landed standing next to Miss Linze on the opposite side facing Lady Monika. He laid his elbow on the wall and loomed over Miss Linze.
"Hey~," he whispered huskily and waggled his eyebrows.
And then Miss Monika said again /"Hey~."/
"B-both of you?! Eeek!" Her blush went volcanic and she curled up down and into a ball. She let out a keening hissing noise like a hot teapot boiling over "Eeeeeeeeeee….. I'm… my heart is not prepared for thiiiiis!"
What even am I looking at here, seriously.
I glanced towards Miss Yae. A tall, raven-haired well-proportioned exotic beauty rooted in the martial arts, beside me a young Princess who could only really fight with her mind. We had little in common. She never looked bothered by anything.
I schooled my face into the same enduring calm. Ahh. I suppose cool competence was something we could share.
Miss Elze stomped over, reached down, and pulled her twin sister up. She hugged Miss Linze, who clung to her sister listless and giggling suspiciously. "All right, that's enough of that from you two! There are lines you know! Don't cross them unless you're serious! You can't just play around with other people like that! Stop it, you're just bullying Linze at this point!"
/"Ah, that reminds me,"/ Lady Monika raised a finger to her chin. /"Elze. I think it's about time we had… a talk."/
Again Miss Elze wrinkled her face like an angry rabbit. She was extremely annoyed, for Lady Monika was not a problem that could just be punched away. She had no idea how to deal with someone who overmatches her so completely in social combat.
Come to think of it… yes, that was true. She spent more time with Sir Zah and Lady Monika had Miss Linze. I could not conceive of a reason when Lady Monika and Miss Elze would ever have a time to sit down and get to know each other. Their personalities differed too much, there were some people that you work with perfectly but just do not feel any need for emotional intimacy towards.
Is this really all right?
"Is this really all right?" Sir Zah asked.
/"Oh don't worry Player. It's just that I've come to realize that we never really had a girl's outing before. Sure, we've had the all girl team, and we've trained in pairs, but never just me and Linze and Elze. It's long overdue that we have a private thotful discussion."/
Sir Zah may have his eyes covered, but I could tell he was narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Don't think I didn't notice the way you said that."
Lady Monika chuckled deviously and began shooing him away. /"Away with you for a while, Player. Look. I just remembered that you haven't spent time with Yae before, haven't you? Go take her out around town. Away!"/
Sir Zah huffed "I do this because I trust youuu~!"
He looked towards Miss Yae, who quickly stood to attention. Her cheeks were puffed up like a squirrel as she'd hastily jammed one last scone in there.
"Yae!"
"Yef, Feya-hama!"
Sir Zah slapped his left hip. "New swords, let's go." Oh! Well that made sense. Sir Zah and Miss Yae broke their swords against that black dragon back then.
Wait. What about me?
-.
-.
A short while later I was introduced to Matriarch Leene, undisputed ruler of the Fairy Tribe, a being over six hundred years old and the personal trainer of Belfast's own court magician. All right, the last one was a little worrying, but no one could deny that Miss Charlotte was peerless on the battlefield. No one could cast as fast and as efficiently using the least amount of magic power and stamina for maximum effect, except perhaps the one who taught her all that from her own centuries of refinement and experience.
She looked no older than me, and had a soft disinterested expression. "So, this is YOUR student?" she hummed. "Interesting. And you're just lending her to me for the afternoon? What a delicious little g-"
"IRON CLAAAAW!"
Sir Zah gripped Matriarch Leene by the top of her head and pulled her up. The fairy dangled futiley from his surprisingly powerful arms. "A delightful little guide, that's what I was saying!" she whined.
What are you doing Sir Zah what is this diplomatic incideeent!
"She is off limits. Charlotte will not be repeated. Do you understand?" Sir Zah unclenched his fingers and Matriarch Leene dropped.
"Fine. Understood. Your disciple is your disciple, I will not impinge on those rights." She sniffed haughtily and turned towards me. "What are your affinities, girl?"
"[Earth], [Wind], [Dark!], ma'am!" I responded sharply and smartly.
"An eclectic mix. [Water] and [Earth] or [Fire] and [Wind] harmonizes quite well, but [Earth] and [Wind] have few spells that can overlap their effects."
"I would be endlessly grateful for whatever instruction you give, Madam Leene!"
Matriarch Leene raised a hand to her chin and nodded approvingly. She looked up towards Sir Zah. "She has good personal discipline. And there is drive in her, a good head of stubborn pride – she has potential. I predict that her teachers still have that superstition about [Dark] being an evil branch of magic. Curses are more useful than you might think."
"Great. I will come by later, we need to talk about summoning magic. Yumina, keep being you. You, stop being you so much."
"Why don't you respect meeee?" Matriarch Leene pouted and whined again like the young sister-like girl she appeared to be. I frowned minutely. Sir Zah you should set some boundaries too, that's rude.
Matriarch Leene saw my expression and looked taken aback. Then she smiled impishly.
Sir Zah and Miss Yae then tromped off nonchalantly. Matriarch Leene floated an inch or so above the air and circled around. Oh! This casual flight. Sir Zah and his still unfulfilled dream of true flight must find this casual power so irritating. Now he can feel what the rest of us feels.
"Tell me, child…" the fairy asked with a dark chuckle "Do you know… how to DODGE?"
I raised my right hand, suddenly wrapped in the strong contained gale of of the [Heavy Wind]. "The best defense is a good offense!" I replied.
Slap enemy spells right out of the air! It was scary at first, but it was now a thriller to be able to slap away incoming arrows. Then someday, to be able to slap people from all the way across the room. I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it any further. Slap. Slap. Slap!
In future when I reign over my own court, must avoid the temptation to slap scheming nobles whenever they stand in front of windows and recreate the Defenestration of Alephis.
Matriarch Leene beamed. "You. I like you. I like you a lot."
"Thank you." That does make me feel a little better.
In this land of the beastkin where insanity dwells.
I huffed as I walked through the door. That was unexpectedly exhausting. Even if I did nothing but to sit there and occasionally be made to offer commentary if things sounded too unreasonable to the common people. Ah, they still expect princesses to be symbols of sympathy, huh?
My father and King Jamukha remained behind to discuss more finely the details of their alliance. After all, Sir Zah and I were technically simply third parties who were only doing a service.
A third party... "Mhhhm." I raised my hand above my head and stretched. I luxuriated in the fiery feeling of my muscles being unwound. "A third party…" I whispered openly. "A third force that can stand to make sure that both sides are keeping to their agreement. I guess it's true what they say – a chair with two legs can't stand."
But people on two legs do. But they do so by themselves for themselves.
"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes - who watches the watchers?" Sir Zah noted. And then "You look like a cat."
"Bwah!" I yelped and swung my arms about. Oh noes. I forgot that we were no longer out in the road, and I was wearing my princess gown! White gown, white arm gloves, hair once again expertly washed and brushed – a white cat, I could understand the impression. I could feel my blood rushing to my face, quickly I lowered my hands and hid my blush behind my palms. How embarrassing!
And what happened to your profundities?! I looked up to see Sir Zah smirking down at me like the smuggest cat. Mistakes were made. I should never have been too comfortable in your presence!
"Don't mind it. It's cute. You worked hard." He grinned and raised his thumb like the symbol of peace or something.
"H-hearing that doesn't make me happy!" I lied.
"Mister Zah!"
We turned towards the excited wail. Miss Linze all but leaped out of her seat, while Miss Elze gave us a cool look while leaning on a wall. Miss Yae seated beside Miss Linze brushed breadcrumbs off her lap and stood up. She clenched one hand into a fist and wrapped the other hand over it, and bowed sharply. "Playa-dono! Welcome back!" she spoke strongly and briskly. "OKAERINASAIMASE!"
They were waiting here all this while. We even had lunch brought in through the meeting. I should probably apologize. Though… from what I could see from the stack of plates on a rolling table right next to Miss Yae… they had little shame about taking advantage of all the culinary courtesies of a royal house.
But it all keeps working out, should I trust ittt?!!
Sir Zah stepped out ahead and waved "Oh hey-"
WHAPOW.
I was sure I didn't blink, but now Miss Elze was standing in front of me. Her fist was held straight out. A strong breeze flowed through the hallway.
A second later there was a far-off bang and crunch. Sir Zah was embedded face-first into the far wall of the corridor. Oh. Right. Punchface. So it was promised. So it was done.
"Wa-what is this godspeed?!!!" Miss Yae gasped.
Miss Elze's face was the same as Miss Linze, they were twins after all. But looking at her, she had a strong profile. Her cold eyes, her impassive expression, going from rest to a roaring volcanic burst then back to rest again in the space of an eyeblink – an impossible precision of force! Whereas Sir Zah flitters around with gusts of awesome power, Miss Elze arrives with sudden, overwhelming and unwavering drive!
My breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating quickly in my chest. How… enviable!
/"Veeery nice."/ whispered Lady Monika. She had been standing behind Sir Zah all this time.
And I could see a small drop of sweat flow down Miss Elze's temples. Her expression remained firm, but there was the dawning comprehension she may have messed up.
But I applaud your bravery, Miss Elze! I will always support you.
/"He probably deserved that."/
"Yeah I kinda did~…" Sir Zah moaned while still stuck halfway into a wall.
"You gonna make something of it?" Miss Elze hissed valiantly. "You want some of this too for a change?"
Miss Monika stared blandly down at her. She was literally looking down on Miss Elze. 'This girl is no threat', her whole demeanor exuded that. I could hear Miss Elze's teeth grinding, her fear being replaced by indignant anger. Ah, such spite! Unlike cowardly me, Miss Elze would not bow to anyone.
She remained in that beautiful punching pose.
It was the purest arrogance for Sir Zah and Lady Monika to declare that this Alliance would happen no matter what. But it was the look in those eyes that convinced us. Well, more like Lady Monika's eyes since Sir Zah was always wearing his mask. Her look was normally cold and penetrating, as if nothing around her was quite real. As if everything could be picked up and discarded without emotion, like something that can be loved intensely in the present but will not be sorely missed when it was gone.
But there was a warmth in those eyes now. My father, King Jamukha, she looked at them like with only a certain clarity as if they were nothing but pieces on the board. Sir Zah CARES. But Lady Monika only cares that Sir Zah gives a hoot about something. How odd really, the one whose eyes cannot be seen is the one who shows more genuine feeling.
But to me… her eyes said /'You are REAL to me'./
And towards Miss Elze, I could see now that her eyes… glittered with the same indulgent amusement that she gave Sir Zah on occasion? /'More!'/ that look implied. /'Intensify yourself! Show me how much further you can go with sort of behavior, you wicked wicked child! Ohohohoh!'/
You ruin a child by spoiling them too much, you know? Are you to blame for Sir Zah being the way he is? Hmm.
No, I suppose Sir Zah is strong-willed and purposeful with things he likes, and knows how to swallow his anger when it would serve him not, so he was no spoiled rotten child. They were a relationship of equals.
She nonchalantly walked past Miss Elze, refusing to act was itself firmly putting the young adventurer in her place.
Aaah! What is this viscous, yet oddly refreshing feeling – wait, am I sure this isn't just static cling from a charged environment? No? Very well then. Ah! What is this feeling!
Is this the joy of youth? The feeling that the only thing that matters is what's happening around you, with your most trusted companions! Ah! This is the meaning of high adventure!
"She doesn't realize that she's doing all this silent posing around now, is she?"
Wait what was that just now.
Ahem.
I came back to my senses to find that Lady Monika now had Miss Linze pressed to the wall.
Wait. I know this pose. This… this is how salacious! She had her elbow to the wall and loomed over Miss Linze.
/"Hey~"/ Lady Monika whispered huskily.
Miss Linze let out a helpless little "Eep!" as she blushed mightily and squirmed in place.
"Wait a second- shadows?" Miss Elze piped up, now standing beside me. "You're solid! I thought you couldn't do that except in your tiny body because there's not a way to control enough material for a full-size body!"
I grimaced minutely. "Yeees that is a thing now, apparently."
Miss Linze blinked. Her expression regained clarity, and then intensity. She looked up and hesitantly reached out. Lady Monika grabbed her hand and pressed it to her cheek. Miss Linze sucked in her breath.
"W-warm."
Lady Monika smiled gently. /"I too am made of layers. Deep inside I am boiling. Do you know what this means?"/
Miss Linze shook her head slowly and quivered like a trapped rabbit feeling the hot breath of a wolf on its face.
Lady Monika went all shifty-eyed and leaned closer and she whispered straight into Miss Linze's ear /"It means you too can now earn Monika Points."/
"Gleep!"
"NTR IS A TRASH FETISH MONIKA!" Sir Zah roared from across the room.
We turned about to see him sliding back into place, the marble-tiled floors of the palace icing up ahead of him so he could just flow frictionlessly forward. Huh. Water and wind. This kind of maneuver magic has been done before I suppose, but it had potential and was something I could try. My magic was [Earth] and [Wind], but I could flatten and smooth out ground surface and just have someone else freeze it. Sir Zah and I would not be hindered at all, while everyone else slips and slides.
I could see guards discreetly peering around the corners of the corridor far behind Sir Zah… but no one dared approach. It was like they could taste the signs of shenanigans afoot. No. Let us be a little charitable. There were formal talks going on behind the door at out backs. Interfering with anything could have drastic consequences.
Then with a high-pitched yell of "Wah-he-hoooo!" he launched off, made a double somersault in mid-air, and then landed standing next to Miss Linze on the opposite side facing Lady Monika. He laid his elbow on the wall and loomed over Miss Linze.
"Hey~," he whispered huskily and waggled his eyebrows.
And then Miss Monika said again /"Hey~."/
"B-both of you?! Eeek!" Her blush went volcanic and she curled up down and into a ball. She let out a keening hissing noise like a hot teapot boiling over "Eeeeeeeeeee….. I'm… my heart is not prepared for thiiiiis!"
What even am I looking at here, seriously.
I glanced towards Miss Yae. A tall, raven-haired well-proportioned exotic beauty rooted in the martial arts, beside me a young Princess who could only really fight with her mind. We had little in common. She never looked bothered by anything.
I schooled my face into the same enduring calm. Ahh. I suppose cool competence was something we could share.
Miss Elze stomped over, reached down, and pulled her twin sister up. She hugged Miss Linze, who clung to her sister listless and giggling suspiciously. "All right, that's enough of that from you two! There are lines you know! Don't cross them unless you're serious! You can't just play around with other people like that! Stop it, you're just bullying Linze at this point!"
/"Ah, that reminds me,"/ Lady Monika raised a finger to her chin. /"Elze. I think it's about time we had… a talk."/
Again Miss Elze wrinkled her face like an angry rabbit. She was extremely annoyed, for Lady Monika was not a problem that could just be punched away. She had no idea how to deal with someone who overmatches her so completely in social combat.
Come to think of it… yes, that was true. She spent more time with Sir Zah and Lady Monika had Miss Linze. I could not conceive of a reason when Lady Monika and Miss Elze would ever have a time to sit down and get to know each other. Their personalities differed too much, there were some people that you work with perfectly but just do not feel any need for emotional intimacy towards.
Is this really all right?
"Is this really all right?" Sir Zah asked.
/"Oh don't worry Player. It's just that I've come to realize that we never really had a girl's outing before. Sure, we've had the all girl team, and we've trained in pairs, but never just me and Linze and Elze. It's long overdue that we have a private thotful discussion."/
Sir Zah may have his eyes covered, but I could tell he was narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "Don't think I didn't notice the way you said that."
Lady Monika chuckled deviously and began shooing him away. /"Away with you for a while, Player. Look. I just remembered that you haven't spent time with Yae before, haven't you? Go take her out around town. Away!"/
Sir Zah huffed "I do this because I trust youuu~!"
He looked towards Miss Yae, who quickly stood to attention. Her cheeks were puffed up like a squirrel as she'd hastily jammed one last scone in there.
"Yae!"
"Yef, Feya-hama!"
Sir Zah slapped his left hip. "New swords, let's go." Oh! Well that made sense. Sir Zah and Miss Yae broke their swords against that black dragon back then.
Wait. What about me?
-.
-.
A short while later I was introduced to Matriarch Leene, undisputed ruler of the Fairy Tribe, a being over six hundred years old and the personal trainer of Belfast's own court magician. All right, the last one was a little worrying, but no one could deny that Miss Charlotte was peerless on the battlefield. No one could cast as fast and as efficiently using the least amount of magic power and stamina for maximum effect, except perhaps the one who taught her all that from her own centuries of refinement and experience.
She looked no older than me, and had a soft disinterested expression. "So, this is YOUR student?" she hummed. "Interesting. And you're just lending her to me for the afternoon? What a delicious little g-"
"IRON CLAAAAW!"
Sir Zah gripped Matriarch Leene by the top of her head and pulled her up. The fairy dangled futiley from his surprisingly powerful arms. "A delightful little guide, that's what I was saying!" she whined.
What are you doing Sir Zah what is this diplomatic incideeent!
"She is off limits. Charlotte will not be repeated. Do you understand?" Sir Zah unclenched his fingers and Matriarch Leene dropped.
"Fine. Understood. Your disciple is your disciple, I will not impinge on those rights." She sniffed haughtily and turned towards me. "What are your affinities, girl?"
"[Earth], [Wind], [Dark!], ma'am!" I responded sharply and smartly.
"An eclectic mix. [Water] and [Earth] or [Fire] and [Wind] harmonizes quite well, but [Earth] and [Wind] have few spells that can overlap their effects."
"I would be endlessly grateful for whatever instruction you give, Madam Leene!"
Matriarch Leene raised a hand to her chin and nodded approvingly. She looked up towards Sir Zah. "She has good personal discipline. And there is drive in her, a good head of stubborn pride – she has potential. I predict that her teachers still have that superstition about [Dark] being an evil branch of magic. Curses are more useful than you might think."
"Great. I will come by later, we need to talk about summoning magic. Yumina, keep being you. You, stop being you so much."
"Why don't you respect meeee?" Matriarch Leene pouted and whined again like the young sister-like girl she appeared to be. I frowned minutely. Sir Zah you should set some boundaries too, that's rude.
Matriarch Leene saw my expression and looked taken aback. Then she smiled impishly.
Sir Zah and Miss Yae then tromped off nonchalantly. Matriarch Leene floated an inch or so above the air and circled around. Oh! This casual flight. Sir Zah and his still unfulfilled dream of true flight must find this casual power so irritating. Now he can feel what the rest of us feels.
"Tell me, child…" the fairy asked with a dark chuckle "Do you know… how to DODGE?"
I raised my right hand, suddenly wrapped in the strong contained gale of of the [Heavy Wind]. "The best defense is a good offense!" I replied.
Slap enemy spells right out of the air! It was scary at first, but it was now a thriller to be able to slap away incoming arrows. Then someday, to be able to slap people from all the way across the room. I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it any further. Slap. Slap. Slap!
In future when I reign over my own court, must avoid the temptation to slap scheming nobles whenever they stand in front of windows and recreate the Defenestration of Alephis.
Matriarch Leene beamed. "You. I like you. I like you a lot."
"Thank you." That does make me feel a little better.
In this land of the beastkin where insanity dwells.
Last edited:
Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
Didn't expect Monika to flirt with Linze, I confess. Probably did it because watching the girl blush amused her? When Playa joined in it could've actually been flirting, except for the fact he's effectively partnered with Monika and seems to have no interest in other girls romantically.
So probs just a combo joke.
So probs just a combo joke.
- Location
- Dreary ol' London Town
I mean...I ship it. I do totally ship it.