A few pages back i wrote a few paragraphs about Akis thought process and what she would face if she were redeemed, some may have read it. I decided to try to turn it into a proper snip. So:
Akis Journey
You are awake. You can feel the light. You were dead, and now you live again, by the holy power of the founder, wielded by his chosen prophet, Cromwell. You clearly see the world, Cromwell is absolute and right, and you will follow his orders, whatever they may be, because as the founders chosen, he knows what to do.You, Aki, will serve the holy cause.
Now, something might seem a bit strange about yourself right now, but you can very well remember everything that happend until now, if your memories seem a bit distant at times, thats surely only because you were so foolish back then. Thinking seems a bit hard at times, but that hardly matters, with the founders light there to guide you. Everything is great, you´ve overcome your previous weaknesses by that holy power, and are now working finally not only for the right side, but for a holy cause.
Meeting your friends again was a bit of a confusing experience. Why cant they see that they are wrong? Its so clear.... And they forced you to fight them, that was sad, you suppose. Still, when that foolish royalist mage puts a hole trough your chest its only proven again, you are a vessel of holy power, and cannot die.
Caramella calls you brainwashed... how silly can you get? You arent brainwashed, you see the light... if anything everyone else is brainwashed, why cant they see that Cromwell is right? Its so simple...
Then she tricks you, and there is fire and darkness.
That hurt a bit... no matter, trough the holy power of the founder you cannot die. Your arms and part of one leg are missing, but with Arguilles help, you have found them soon enough. You wonder... if you hadnt found them, would they have come back by themselves? Would they have grown back?... not really important now, Dunwell is talking....
Dunwell-sama and Wells-sama are nice. They are trying to help you all they can, And together following the holy purpose of Cromwell you will help the world. Wells seems to act a bit strange around you at times...
Is he worried that you are angry that he hurt you? But how could you? Without that, you may have never seen the light. You try to act friendly and put him at ease, hes really a nice person.
Some things about the world are a still a bit confusing, oh well, youre trying your best to adapt, and finally come to understand some things. You still seem slightly detached from your old memories at times, but it isnt really important, you see the light.
Sometimes you still start to wonder though... was thinking always so hard? Oh well, your getting better at that too...
Newcastle. Finally, the royalists will be driven from Albion, for the glory of Cromwell... Tristains fleet carried a lot of fairies, that intrigues you... You wonder how many of them you can bring to the light of the founder. But first, Dunwell has a special mission for you... and with your wings, you will be like an angel.
Or not? What did Dunwell mean?
Caramella kept saying your not Aki. Calling you a thing. How can she! Ok you were fighting, but is it so hard to see she is on the wrong side? All your trying is to show them the truth, and save her from her sinful live. And even if your on opposite sides, theres no need to say something like that. Before you can free her, theres a loud bang, and you find yourself splattered once more.
While you heal, not easy, but not beyond you, you have a mission, you watch as they burn the others... Thats horrible, a second chance by the grace of the founder, and they are destroying it. And they captured Mizuki...
After the battle, you keep doing your best for the cause. Wells still seems nervous at times, so you are trying things to put him at ease. Your having some ideas there... Still, you cant keep your mind from wandering back to Caramella and your other friends... was there really the need to say hings like that? Calling you a thing? Calling you not Aki? How could you not be Aki? You decide to ask Wells about that...
Wells said you were Aki. Its fine. You are Aki. You have to be.....
Cromwell and Wells and Dunwell are fighting... How can this be? You are all united under the Founders holy light, this cannot be really happening... you know Cromwell is holy and right, but Wells and Dunwell are nice and always trying to help... this has to be a misunderstanding... you should try to break it up...
Cromwell did something with the holy ring... PAIN...mind fading... ...NO, holding on, dont want to die again... something is wrong with your body, its like the holy power is leaking away... but you´ve survived so far, you came trough stuff that put even the other chosen down, you will not fall here... Cant stay... run away, into the forest...sort things out later
You are saved... Elfgirl used her ring.... And now....
Gone...the light is gone... hurts to think... you have to think... whats going on...
Your friends... you were hurting them... if its gone, if the way you see now.... no, you need certainity, thinking is hard... but you have to... if its gone, if it wasnt holy... they said you were mindcontrolled... and looking at it now, not certain, but so much clearer...then... what have you done?? You were hurting them... fighting for Cromwell... Cromwell, whos not holy.
Cromwell, whos murdering innocents, starting wars... and mindcontrol... and you were helping him....
Bastard! You are going to find some way to get back at him. Make him suffer...
And then, or maybe better even before, you are going to find your friends and tell them how sorry you are... maybe you could have resisted somehow, you feel so guilty... hope they can forgive you some day.
You can forgive them for calling you a thing in that state, you suppose. But saying your not Aki was a bit out of line... just that ever since skiesedge, you were controlled. Cromwell probably used your weakend state after you got hit trough the heart with... hit... trough... the... heart... and new life.... they say your not Aki... your memories from before are different, distant... Elfgirl says magic cant bring back the dead, just create abominations from corpses... and you died at skiesedge...Aki died... that means...NOOO....
It cant be true... you are Aki! You have to be Aki! If your not Aki... No, have to be Aki, cant not be Aki...cant .. wont... this... sniff... sob... cry....
You calmed down... Elfgirl...Tiffania...is nice. She stayed with you, and was trying to help you....
You are not Aki. They were right...Abomination.....
Youre looking in a mirror now. Aki looks back... What are you? Stolen face.... stolen memories... a thing, created from the death of an innocent. And you caused so much suffering...you killed, you helped cromwell with his war... and your... no, never yours. Aki...the other Akis friends... you hurt them so much...are you a monster? Should you just end it?
It would be easy enough... no more pain...no more doubt... one abomination less in the world...
But... you still want revenge... and your... no, Akis friends... you still want to say how sorry you are... could they ever forgive you? Could they ever accept you? You, who stole the face and mind of their friend? You who killed them, tried to have them turned into more abominations? You may have been controlled, but you still feel responsible... What would they say to you? But if you die here, you will never know...and you will have no hope at all, of ever being forgiven, or making up for what you did.
Elfgirl say she knows how it is to be not wanted. Says you can still do good, as long as you dont give up, even if the world hates you. Those children shes caring for, they are happier trough her help... even if the rest of the world thinks her existence unholy...
No. You will go on. The world seems big and uncertain now, and thinking for yourself is scary... but you will manage somehow. You will help the others, you will hurt Cromwell... and you will become something the other Aki could have been proud of !!!
Now, what should you do first? ...
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Title seems a bit cliche, but couldnt think of anything better... Thoughts?
Edit: Replaced Title with whats been used in the snip index fro the old version, somehow seems better, even if its pretty mundane
(old title was "[<Who are You?]>")