I think our military did pretty fine to good, there's no way the League of Strength isn't more focused on military development than we are but we had comparable performance and an edge in exotic sciences.
I think it's best for us to go with one demand + one compromise, because I think the League of Strength in its current form is kind of trash and so a full concession isn't worth it - even if it's a more reliable peace in the short or even middle term they're still too militaristic for us to not come into conflict with them again. It's more relative gain than double compromise but doesn't push us right back into war; it positions us to be at a bigger advantage when we come into conflict again. But of the two versions of demand + compromise available, one expects the League to walk away with nothing, while the other splits tech in exchange for letting us expand. The other way around is dangerously close to just being two demands, so I think the most gain comes from split tech/we get the tribes.
This is absolutely brinksmanship, but I think it's worth it. Also, if I'm interpreting this right, we get the same amount of tech steal out of this that we would from taking it only for ourselves - the downside is that the LoS also gets it, not that we're dividing a pie.
So my preference is split tech/we get the tribes. Failing that I'd probably favor demand tech/concede tribes, though I think people are significantly underrating the material benefits of expansion.
[] Split Technological Access
[] Demand the Tribes Join You
Ceterem autem censeo, Sanctuary must be contacted.