Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted) Thread #2

[GreggHL]

Scraped from here.

Table of Contents

Well, the previous thread has broken reality/the board, so let's start a new one! Same rules apply as always, and I shall be adding snippies/other stuff soon enough. As well as updating the ToC.

Previous Thread

All credit goes to Kimia for the Table of Contents:

Snip .1a Illium; Super!Shepard; Tali; Garrus; Miranda
Snip .1b Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
Snip .1b2 Rewrite of .1b and .1a; Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
Snip .1c Normandy Wreck; Dying; Exaltation
Snip .1d Bury the Dead
Snip .1e Mercs Appear; Bullet Dodging; Dead Shuttle
Snip .1f Use Merc as Weapon; Another Dead Shuttle
Snip .1g Hot Tub; Thermal Clips; Appearence Upgrade; Geth Surprise
Snip .1h Getting Dressed; Talking Geth; Named WUFFLES
Snip .1i Out of Reach Ship; Silly Wuffles; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
Snip .1ib More Detail; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
Snip .1j Shelter; Bath; Thermal Clips look like...; Shouldn't Ask
Snip .1k Talking with Geth; Explainations
Snip .1l Asari; Anger; Yet another dead shuttle; Shadow Broker
Snip .1m Bury The Dead; Mediation; Hot Tub Time; Peeping Geth; Don't Ask; Asked Anyways
Snip .1n Liara; Way to ruin the moment
Snip .1o Liara; Meet the Wuffles; What
Chapter One

Snip .2a Jane; Krogan; Punch
Snip .2b Jane; Krogan; Punch; Illium; Liara; Make a Plan
Snip .2c Illium; Liara; Make a Plan; Miranda; Geth!; Catch a Bullet
Snip .2d Wake up; Need a Drink
Snip .2e For science!; Cry Me a River
Snip .2f Wake up; Need a Drink; Break the Science; Noticing lies; Hello, Matriarch
Snip .2g So?; In my time; Meet the Father
Snip .2h Talking about family; Buzzing Lying
Snip .2i Talking about family; Buzzing Lying; Arriving; Everything goes boom
Snip .2j Shepard is not amused; Super!Shepard jump
Snip .2k Reports and firefights; Bullet dodging; Innuendo; Guns can be useful without bullets; Always listen to the minions
Snip .2l Betrayal; Gimme; The pilot; Start the Chase!
Snip .2m Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Push the Button; Punch Everything
Snip .2mb Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip
Snip .2n Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip; Push the Button; Punch Everything; TRUCK!
Snip .2o Impossibilities; This thing got Weapons?; More Crazy Driving; Always Buckle Up
Snip .2p Get off my car!; Here's Wuffles!; Stopping with a punch; Geth give the best gifts; Bad-ass boast
Snip .2q Dizzy; The Result of the crazy driving; Azure; Innuendo; Punch card; Freebie; TMI
Snip .2r Fight time; Talk while fighting
Chapter Two

Snip .3a Wuffles hates elevators; Why hello, Miss Zorah; Exit: Through the Roof
Snip .3b Tide turning; Rise, child of the sun; Illuminate
Snip .3c That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator
Snip .3cb That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator; Prazza
Snip .3d You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running
Snip .3e Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already
Snip .3f You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running; Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already; I'm driving; Pet Geth?; The Claw Hammer; :insert record scratch: What
Snip .3g Interrogation through terror; bullshit detector; Not dropping the coffee; Admitting the truth; Bad track record; Bring in the taco cart; Oh, Joker, how close to the truth
Snip .3h TIM; Report, Lawson; All going to plan; Oh, Shit
Snip .3i Cerberus just can't get it right; Betting on the outcome; Miranda, stop interrupting!; And the AI did what?
Snip .3j Landing; Digging a deeper hole; That was a joke; "You're all idiots and need to watch the safety videos again"; Cerberus screwed up in reverse
Snip .3k Girl next door; Like the ship?; Joker does!
Snip .3l AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes
Snip .3m Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!
Snip .3n AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes; Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!; Big reveal; What all the buzzing was about
Snip .3o TIMmy; EMI; Status and Odds; ...Silver floating sphere...?
Snip .3p Details, Gimme details; Hold on, taking notes; I've got an idea...
Chapter Three

Snip .4a TMI, Kelly; Oh, Wuffles...; Kelly did what?; Missed the point, Wuffles
Snip .4b Yes, we do watch you walk, Tali; So, EDI, life story?; Troll EDI trolling
Snip .4c So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet
Snip .4d So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet; Meet the boss; TIMmy!; The Zenith
Snip .4e Thief; Singing a song of doom; Zoo time; Mailing something with teeth
Snip .4f Now hear this; You can be better; Taking the Ship
Snip .4g Onwards!; You have a call; Teleportation ain't no thang; Mindhax; Behold the Sidereal
Snip .4h Mindhax are fun; You're new; More mindhax; Auntie Kasumi's Magical Kung Fu School for Girls
Snip .4i More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit
Snip .4ib More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit; Wait, What?
Snip .4j Have some strength; What; Joker's mind: BROKEN
Snip .4k Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally
Snip .4kb Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally; More detail
Snip .4l Quarians drive normally; Leather seats; Incoming; Look into the universe
Snip .4m Dynamic Entry; Why, hello there!; Awesome answer; Meet me in my office
Snip .4n TIMmy doing TIMmy things; Well that didn't send a chill down my spine at all!
Snip .4o So, here it is; Sorry, need more evidence; Have a mentor
Snip .4p Awww, it's so cute; So a geth and an AI walk down a street
Snip .4q Geth do not intentionally infiltrate
Snip .4r Oh, Shepard; Let's teach you how to walk like a lady; Strutting time!
Snip .4s There are no fish in the Presidium lake; Oh not Al-Jilani; Break the camera; That was a joke
Snip .4t Oh snap; Reaper time!
Snip .4u Bring popcorn; Walk like a female, Shepard; High heels are evil; Land on your face
Snip .4v Liara walks like a professor; Tali and high heels; Enter the original krogan walker; Hannah Shepard; Where'd you get the boobs?
Chapter Four

Snip .5a Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?
Snip .5ab Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?; Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...
Snip .5b Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...; Udina is not surprised
Snip .5c Too much information; Not gonna sleep tonight; I am the Dawn
Snip .5d Can't look her in the eye; Memories of a different life
Snip .5e Boarding; Kasumi's little 'gift'; Where's that music coming from...; Oh crap moment
Snip .5f Puppet is kicking ass; Team work time
Snip .5g Liara, stop talking; Bullet to the knee; Geth to the rescue
Snip .5h Kasumi's little gift reveals a secret
Snip .5i Sooooo, this is new; Gods are interesting; Transfer Memories; Solar Hero Style
Snip .5j Fight scene of awesome; Surrender is an option
Snip .5k Badass boast; Social fu; Back to work
Snip .5l Always think before you turn off the power
Snip .5m Oh crap moment; Jane is not amused by bullshit tactics
Snip .5n Not the time to be arguing; Efficiency of course; Now just what, but What the Hell; The List of Insanity
Snip .5o Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom
Snip .5p Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom; Limiter off?; Aw crap moment; Parry punches with punches; Kasumi to the rescue!
Snip .5q Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe
Snip .5qb Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe; Husk time!; Stop talking, Liara
Snip .5r Wuffles, I don't think this is a good idea...
Snip .5s Harbinger, stop monologuing; Heading into the eye of the storm
Snip .5t Siddie says no
Snip .5u Wuffles would be great on a debate team...; Armor piercing question away!
Snip .5v Harbinger likes messing with your head; Oh shit moment, big oh shit moment
Snip .5w Wuffles pushes all of the buttons; Been spending too much time around Shepard, have we?
Snip .5x Gregg is trolling us again...
Chapter Five

Snip .6a Tali's moment of pure badassness.
Snip .6b Wuffles has a stockpile of awesome quotes; EDI: Goddess of the Trolls
Snip .6c Good teamwork and planning; And then it all goes to hell
Snip .6d Aw shit moment; Joker to the rescue!; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?; Gendo pose!Hannah; Boom, sucker
Snip .6db Joker to the rescue!; Details; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?
Snip .6e Gotta get off; Tali doesn't feel good; Forgot someone?; Break reality, escape
Snip .6f Back on ship; Medbay time; Escape ends up where?
Snip .6g Kasumi to the rescue again; So that's where she learned how to punch sickness out of people; Break reality
Snip .6h Seeker, die in a fire; The Reapers like trolling us; Kicked into the void
Snip .6i Bad feeling scenery; Really bad feeling; The bigger fish is unleashed; ...Oh TIMmy, what did you do?!
Snip .6j Tali is having a panic attack; Explanation: bullshit magic; Wuffles!
Snip .6k Wait, you're how old?; Where are we?; Joker says what we're all thinking
Snip .6l Ship graveyard
Snip .6m A look into Joker's personality; Dead Reapers
Snip .6n 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish
Snip .6nb 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish; A single point of space; Hitching a ride; Wuffles was combing Tali's hair :sqee:; Exalted Creator
Snip .6o Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste
Snip .6ob Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste; Looks like a keeper
Snip .6p SWLIHN likes messing with things
Snip .6q Oh, Wuffles...; Surprise!
Snip .6r Joker info; EDI found... something to fix the ship; What would you call that?
Snip .6s ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...
Snip .6sb ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...
Snip .6sc ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...; Wuffles protecting Tali; The machine is insane; You may call me Autochthon.
Chapter Six

Snip .7a City of Persistent Righteous Protector; Didn't that coming
Snip .7b Lots of names for the same thing; First mention of Viator
Snip .7c The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on.
Snip .7d Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7db Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7e The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on; Story of the War; Room of Craziness
Snip .7f Spider Girl? Time to drink!; Joker has interesting porn; Joker knows the squad way too well
Snip .7g Proof that Auto is insane
Snip .7gb Proof that Auto is insane; Poor Tali; FOR GREAT SCIENCE!
Snip .7h The answer to Hannah's question; Liara's fangirling
Snip .7i Oh shit moment
Snip .7ib Oh shit moment; "Why does this always happen?"
Snip .7k Stupid firewall; Epic fight
Snip .7l Sidereal says oh crap; Asari catfight; Keep running
Snip .7m Poor Tali, she'll never like pinball again; Wuffles' hips brings all the AIs/Alchemicals/Admirals to the yard
Snip .7n Flashbacks are never good; Kasumi is broken
Snip .7o That's... really big
Snip .7ob Redone; Pitfall
Snip .7p Deus and Auto have a bad habit of yanking the ground out from under you; Spread eagle once more; Meet Deus Machina
Snip .7q Everything is a weapon, if used right
Snip .7qb Everything is a weapon, if used right; And Shepard learns just what she's fighting
Snip .7r Logos of Deus Machina; Liara likes to share things
Snip .7s Jacob is happy, gosh darn it; Siddie Meltdown; Mr. Taylor just went up in my list of Nice People
Snip .7t Shepards lost her clothes... again
Snip .7tb Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade
Snip .7tc Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade; Pria has a bone to pic with Kasumi; Armor made from guns
Snip .7u Liara is acting like Ree; He knows all the things
Snip .7v Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:
Snip .7vb Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:; Redirect angry Tali
Snip .7w Shepard likes her new armor; Blightborn; Fixed firewall
Snip .7x Tali does not like spiders
Chapter Seven

Snip .8a ...What?
Snip .8ab Rewrite of the what; Life cycles
Snip .8b A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES
Snip .8ba A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details
Snip .8bc A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details; To the Med-bay; Joker see all
Snip .8c Joker on a ladder; Scale itch
Snip .8cb Joker on a ladder; Scale itch; Oh, EDI
Snip .8d Matron stage; Bullshit radar; One hundred and sixty three?!
Snip .8e Bring on the peace talks
Snip .8eb Bring on the peace talks; Auto needs decaf
Snip .8f And the shit has hit the fan; TIMmy, you brought this on yourself
Snip .8g Auto is... messing with the Normandy; Auto, you loveable nut
Snip .8h Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving
Snip .8hb Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving; Hannah, Jane, and Udina on one ship...
Snip .8i Galactic Overseer Shinmai; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
Snip .8ib SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
Snip .8ic SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on; 9,999 Perfect spheres around Momma Sphere; Harbinger has been kicked from the server, Attempt to reconnect?
Snip .8j Bad idea, Shepard; Details of the Universe
Snip .8k Garrus and his band of crimefighters
Snip .8kb Garrus and his band of crimefighters; Meet the team; I have this feeling that that thing is important...
Snip .8l Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying
Snip .8lb Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying; Lunar; Luna is pretty
Snip .8m Lunar Garrus; Deep space a warehouse; Squad is understandably freaked out; Let the shape-shifting begin
Chapter Eight

Snip .9a Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol
Snip .9b Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
Snip .9c TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine
Snip .9d Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly
Snip .9e Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane
Snip .9f Training fight; Kasumi cheats
Snip .9fb Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection
Snip .9g The correct order; Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol; TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine; Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane; Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly; Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection; Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
Snip .9h Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now
Snip .9hb Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things
Snip .9hc Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things; Fixing of boots; Integrated Artifact Transmogrifier; Furry Spider Cat Girl now; Tali shall never stop screaming; Udina has seen too many things to freak out anymore
Snip .9i You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking
Snip .9ib You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech
Snip .9ic You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech; Miranda, runnnnnn!; Ooooh, good distraction, Auto!
Snip .9j Oh, Auto...; Rael's a busybody; REEGAR!
Snip .9k Reegars are badass; Tali can hold her booze; Kelly likes talking; Surprise guest
Snip .9l So, there's a Reegar and Geth; That hole is useful; Oh, Wuffles, this can only end in tears
Snip .9m Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...
Snip .9mb Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...; Vasir can still keep Rael in line; Skyrim joke and-; Oh Auto, that was such a bad idea...
Snip .9n Geth on the Extranet; College courses; PhD; The Extranet: Where the girl in your class is a geth
Snip .9o Auto, you nutty little; Auto has a plan; Wuffles can still mute Auto
Snip .9p Miranda has stopped being shocked; Feron is sneaky; Glyph; Did Feron just offer Miranda the job I think he did?
Snip .9q Shepard did it; Undercut the fight before it begins; Explain the situation; Wuffles is hiding something
Snip .9r Miranda has a new hat; Auto shows terrifying things

Snip .10a Aw, crap, SWLIHN is up to something; Pretty imagery
Snip .10b Jenny the armor maker; Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right
Snip .10bb Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right; Claims accepted; Shepard's getting an advisor...
Snip .10c Sneaking a geth to the fleet; Wait a minute...; Sneaky geth is sneaky; Well, there's a bombshell
Snip .10d I have no idea what this means, but it fills me with dread; Chosen of Journeys
Snip .10e Vessae did something stupid; Info on Vessae's backstory; Oh crap moment
Snip .10f Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way
Snip .10fb Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way; Wuffles; Shepard did it; Girlfriend; Xen is interested
Snip .10g Well, shit; Viator
Snip .10gb Well, shit; Viator; Viator is a stubborn blockhead; Auto, please have a plan
Snip .10h Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome
Snip .10hb Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome; Another oh crap moment; Collectors are creepy
Snip .10i Harbinger, Vessae, and the idea of getting the hell outta there
Snip .10j Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke
Snip .10jb Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke; Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
Snip .10jc Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
Snip .10k Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears
Snip .10kb Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears; The Crazies; Stuck with Sunshine
Snip .10l Jarvik is awesome as a Solar
Snip .10m It was in the beacon!; Exaltation: Kaleb
Snip .10n Eden Prime; Reapers a reaping
Snip .10o Wake up, Boss; We knew thee but a moment
Snip .10ob We knew thee but a moment; Another one; Goodbye; Wake up already!
Snip .10p Flashback; Well, crap; YES!; The boss is up!
Snip .10q Why you should never get in the way of a shard with a purpose
Snip .10r Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop
Snip .10rb Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
Snip .10rc Revision; Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
Snip .10s All the markings of not good; Someone's still angry; This can only end in tears

Snip .11a Shepard... in a dress; Oh my; Dry spell; Revenge
Snip .11b Kaidan in a bar; Turian drunk; Fight time; Mordin is a sneaky bastard
Snip .11c Dress shopping; Can hide stuff in there; Much bigger
Snip .11d Hackett; It's better if you didn't ask, Admiral
Snip .11e The plan; Hock; The Blitz in a towel; Kasumi is good
Snip .11f You poor boy; Kasumi is gonna have fun
Snip .11g A touching story with a bar tab; Getting all the looks; Security sucks
Snip .11h And the universe takes a sharp turn off course; Wasn't expecting that; Aria knows when to leave
Snip .11i Play nice for awhile; Stabby?; Steal interesting things
Snip .11j Oh, for...; Shepard's Dress; Hidden surprise; Can fit a gun in there
Snip .11k Open the box!; Was not what was expected; Angry mammal with teeth and claws
Snip .11l Stealing all sorts of things today; Outta the teacup
Snip .11m Oh, crap; Jane has some very protective instincts; Jenny...; And the plan goes bust
Snip .11n Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
Snip .11nb Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
Snip .11o Patch; Calling out the hypocrite
Snip .11ob Patch; Calling out the hypocrite; Wait; Does this mean that Jane gets the hangover too?; Pria is not a VI
Snip .11p Aria is awesome; Jack and Aria would totally get along
Snip .11q Jenny is a weapons geek; ...Deadpan: What?
Snip .11r That is one awesome name pun
Snip .11rb That is one awesome name pun; Well, that was a surprise!
Snip .11s ...Wrex; Did he just...?
Snip .11sb ...Wrex; Did he just...?; Don't piss off the thief
Snip .11t Teehee; Samara's gonna have fun
Snip .11u Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto
Snip .11ub Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto; ooooh, Chekhov!

Snip .12a Kelly likes the shower; Shipping ahoy!; ...How'd that get on the ship?
Snip .12b Wuffles...; Back to the quarians; Bad idea detected!
Snip .12c Hackett just punched a metal dinosaur in the face; I love this story
Snip .12d EDI is talking about herself with capital letters; ...And why is she talking in plural?
Snip .12e Garrus is having fun!
Snip .12f Geth; Archer; Orianna
Snip .12g Garrus really is having fun; Bad naming pun; FALCON -
Snip .12h Second what EDI says; What the fuck?
Snip .12i Like a hentai anime
Snip .12ib Like a hentai anime; Enter: Badass Joker
Snip .12j Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat
Snip .12jb Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?
Snip .12jc Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?; Heaven; Gods; What?
Snip .12k Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face
Snip .12ka Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face; Kids?
Snip .12l It's a what?!; Udina: Unfazed by anything
Snip .12m Oh, Joker, you have no idea
Snip .12mb Joker got lucky; In more than one way
Snip .12n Jenny is paranoid; Liara is not amused
Snip .12o So, a Spectre and a Justicar walk into a bar...
Snip .12p What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?
Snip .12q Krogans are different; Nine Sages
Snip .12r What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?; Krogans are different; Nine Sages; Kalros is the boss
Snip .12s Back story of Samara
Snip .12t Awkward family catching up
Snip .12tb Awkward family catching up; Bonding over drinking; Back story of Samara; So a drell and a Justicar
Snip .12u N7 training sounds interesting; Drinking stories; Miranda is not amused; She's also badass
Snip .12v Is that...?; It is!; Bad guys talking

Snip .13a So, some quarians and a geth go adventuring...; Auto did something; Giant robots...; Uhoh
Snip .13b Drinking contests; Thane and Samara; Madilrada; Uhoh
Snip .13c Liara; Hangover cure; Wrex; Liara has a very bad idea
Snip .13d Kasumi; Climbing a skyscraper; Oh, so not a good idea; Appointment to keep
Snip .13e Artifact collector; Kraken?; Madilrada; Interesting
Snip .13f Kasumi; Garrus; Pria; Surprise?
Snip .13g Adienna; Tali; Ewwww
Snip .13gb Adienna; Tali; Ewwww; Always mute your omnitool when talking about heroic sex gods; Well, this should be interesting
Snip .13h Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun
Snip .13hb Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun; Uhoh
Snip .13i Reegar; Wuffles; Guy talk; Bosh'tets
Snip .13j Shepard; Catalyst; Oh shit
Snip .13k Morinth; Liara; Don't piss off the geeky asari
Snip .13l Shepard; Shapshifting Catalyst; Ah, crap moment
Snip .13m Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap
Snip .13mb Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap; Then again...; Liara thinks fast
Snip .13n Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?
Snip .13nb Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?; Tali did something awesome
Snip .13o Gravity cannon; And then everything goes to an "Ah Shit" moment
Snip .13p Shepard; Catalyst; Morinth; Liara; Make a deal; Out the wall
Snip .13pb Shepard; Morinth; Liara; Out the wall; Epic catfight time
Snip .13q Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; "Do you trust us?"
Snip .13r Tali; Auto; Calling bullshit on all that; Auto has a fighting form...
Snip .13s Reegar; Wuffles; Did... did Kal just go superhero on the geth?
Snip .13t Wrex; Just freaking awesomeness
Snip .13u Thane; Samara; Shepard; Poor Samara is just wasted...
Snip .13ub Shepard; Annoyed Exalted; Nice pun
Snip .13v Auto; Tali; Auto finds fighting... refreshing
Snip .13w Terminal; Reegar; Oh, this is going to be glorious

Snip .14a Leaping Sky; Mystery woman; Catalyst...; What
Snip .14b Jenny Shepard; Oh, the genius of a spark
Snip .14c Reegar; Wuffles; Superhero Reegar; Prog knife!
Snip .14d Well, that doesn't fill me with dread at all... /sarcasm
Snip .14e Reegar; Wuffles; Forget the gun, just punch him
Snip .14eb Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; Auto; Tali; Forget the gun, just punch him; Dis~traction!
Snip .14f Tali; Auto; Terminal; Auto has learned the fun of beating the crap outta of bad guys
Snip .14g Well, shit; Reegar blasting off
Snip .14h Reegar in the sky with enlightened geth; Enlightenment is...
Snip .14i Memory of long ago; Bright Star
Snip .14j More memories; Mystery woman; Auto
Snip .14k The Circle; Mnemon Lilloss Urpa; Chosen of Journeys
Snip .14l Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!
Snip .14lb Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!; Wuffles! No killstealing!

CODEX: Admirals and their craziness
CODEX: Turian/Human Pop Culture Exchange
CODEX: Apparent Human Stupidity
CODEX: AI Psychosis and the Causes Of
CODEX: Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya

Omake: Quick Explanation on Luna Shape-acquiring rules in Glorious Shotgun Princess, as explained in a short Omake
Omake??: Luna?
OMAKE: Drunk!Shepards; Keep an eye on the boss; Shepards are assholes when drunk
Omake?: Grunt is not to be messed with
Omake?2: Grunt is not to be messed with; Is that Skyrim?
Omake?3: Little bit too much fun, Garrus
Future snip: Kaiden; Liara; Illium; The time between games; Classical dancing
Omake: Garrus,; Ate a geth; Tali; TMI

Snip Idea .1
Snip Idea .2

 

[GreggHL]

The massive room is lined with red. It looks, from first glance, like leather. But it moves, pulses in time. Golah enters as the white ribbed curtains part for her, followed by Wrex. "Excuse me, but I rarely entertain guests," the Sage explains, "The occasional visitor, the occasional scholar. The Winds have been rather aggressive lately, and they usually devour visitors before I find them."

The sage rests on the walking staff, turning to the Battlemaster. "Are you thirsty? Let me get you something to drink."

The old krogan walks across the sinewy floor, leaning on the staff, past the foam like couches and bone white tables. Leaning the staff on the wall, the krogan grips the handles built into it and pulls. Cold air pours into the room, white light illuminating the shadows as a voice of mournful agony shakes the walls, begging for release. For oblivion.

"Later," Golah says, retrieving two crystal flasks, and closes the doors of the makeshift ice box.

 

[Cyanios]

Well thats a lovely Freezer.

 

[Giygas]

... there are nine krogan sages, right?
Because i think we just meet The Medic...
So... every future krogan is a descendant of The Pyro or The Heavy?

 

[Nervaqus987]

Spy Krogan...

How the hell would that work.

Click to shrink...

Easy.

He blows up an entirely different section of base he needs to sneak into. That way, everyone is running towards the fire and explosion in Left Wing, while he walks over to Right Wing and gets what he came for.

 

[Hazard]

Including the Thresher Maw.

I see no problems whatsoever.

Besides, what makes you think that somewhere in history there wasn't a small, poisonous scorpion analogue that had perfect active camouflage capabilities?

 

[GreggHL]

Yep. Golah is a krogan female. Who lives in the hollowed out, still living skull of a feros equivalent of Dagon. Who is so old that not only would Even be a possible descendant, but every Krogan would be a possible descendant, assuming any of her geneline are still alive.

That's how old Golah is.

 

[GreggHL]

God dammit, Gregg, now I'm picturing a grandmotherly Krogan knitting a Krogan-sized sweater. She's sitting on a rocking chair made out of a varren.

Click to shrink...

No, no. Rocking chair made from the still living brain tissue of the chthonic horror she lobotomized.

(I accidentally put in the 'she' in the snip. I wasn't intending to reveal Golah's gender yet, but yes, Golah is a female. Uninfected with the Genophage. And Enlightened).

Mind you, she's less Sonny and Cher and more Son Wukong. Complete with the staff.

 

[GreggHL]

The massive room is lined with red. It looks, from first glance, like leather. But it moves, pulses in time. Golah enters as the white ribbed curtains part, followed by Wrex. "Excuse me, but I rarely entertain guests," the Sage explains, "The occasional visitor, the occasional scholar. The Winds have been rather aggressive lately, and they usually devour visitors before I find them."

The sage rests on the walking staff, turning to the Battlemaster. "Are you thirsty? Let me get you something to drink."

The old krogan walks across the sinewy floor, leaning on the staff, past the foam like couches and bone white tables. Leaning the staff on the wall, the krogan grips the handles built into it and pulls. Cold air pours into the room, white light illuminating the shadows as a voice of mournful agony shakes the walls, begging for release. For oblivion.

"Later," Golah says, retrieving two crystal flasks, and closes the doors of the makeshift ice box.

Wrex simply stares, before sitting down on one of the wrinkled couches. It contours to his shape, shifting around him to better accommodate him. Wordlessly, he takes the offered flask and takes a deep pull, finding it refreshing. And strong.

"The occasional screams from my home keep away the Winds," Golah explains, leaning back on one of the couches, "They fear loud noises. And, the fight that my home gave me made quite a few." The lips part into a toothy smile. "It's also why I let it live. The occasional moan, shriek..."

A bell tolls. Reaching next to the couch, Golah rises, taking long strides across the open room. In one hand, the Sage produces a long pick, bone white and blood stained. With a single, smooth motion, the pick is driven to the hilt into the leathery wall. The room shakes and a shriek echoes. Nodding, Golah pounds the wall three times with a the back of the hand.

"There," the Sage says, removing the pick, "I am trying to install a pool. Last time, it turned cystic." Walking back with a shake of the head, the tongue clicks. "I am training my home to be obedient."

Collapsing back onto the couch, the Sage tents fingers in front of the face, cocking a bushy eyebrow. "Now. What can I do for you?"

Wrex taps his fingers on the armrest of the couch. His mind struggles, whirring. Some part of him realizes that he has finally met a Krogan who is more Krogan than him.

"Well," he says, "Well. Yes." He blinks, glancing from side to side. "I've never met a Krogan like you, first off." He takes another sip of the strong liquid. "You said I was a berserker?"

Golah nods. "Yes. Which is why it impresses me that you found me." Hands folded, the Sage grins. "I would expect a Scholic, or messenger of some sort. Not a Berserker."

Wrex cocks an eyebrow. "Don't know what those are." He leans back, smirking. "I'm the only kinda Krogan you find, really," he rumbles, "And that gives me an idea just how old the guy in front of me is."

A small laugh from the sage. "And gives an idea of how much Tuchanka has changed," Golah says, "Because you think I'm a man." Grinning, she leans forward, popping the staff up next to her. "I hear these words from you, hanging about you like a shroud. Clan. Genophage. Rebellions." Eyes narrow. Lips curl into a smirk. "Tell me, Wrex. It has been millennial times since I set foot on Mother Rock and communed with Mother Star. What has happened to our home?"

 

[Dirtnap]

Well then. I agree with the sentiment that Granny golah is NOT gonna be pleased...enough so that she will come out of retirement. And everybody knows that when a Krogan that is more Krogan than wrex appears, shit is going down. Generally solar systems.

 

[GreggHL]

"So. what happened... depends, was your last visit before or after we nuked ourselves back to the stoneage, got uplifted by bipedal frogs on meth and then got mass-sterilized for getting uppity?"

Click to shrink...

"Sounds rough. Are the Insunnamon still in charge? Because they seemed like the mass sterilizing type."

 

[GreggHL]

. . . that's way, way older than I thought. The Inusannon were around a good ~70k years before the Protheans.

Also shows how spectacularly ancient the Krogans are as a species (and that they likely nuked themselves back to the stoneage more than once). Heck, Krogan 'civilization' in one form or another may well have been around for millions of years (with numerous 'resets').

Heck, it means that Golah herself is likely hundreds of thousands of years old.


. . .

the great rift of Klendagon and the dead Reaper around Mnemosyne, that are both ~37M years old... that was done by an earlier Krogan cycle, wasn't it? [_<</quote]No, the Great Rift was done by Persistent Righteous Protector's people, who later were mindraped and gengineered by the Reapers into becoming the Keepers. And yes, Krogans have probably bombed themselves back to the stoneage or died off back to agricultural levels several times- never underestimate the resiliency of a planet to survive tragedy and strife, nor organics to believe that they have 'killed' a planet.

Click to shrink...

 

[Cyanios]

Killing a world is Hard: The best way to be sure is to shatter it into nice little pieces of Asteriods, then make sure you drop them somewhere either very hot, or very cold. Even then, you got annoyingly resilient Bacteria stuck deep into said pieces of rock, but the Problem is solved, There is no Planet anymore, thus no life on it.

 

[Dirtnap]

@Grace, it does make it easier to keep up with at least...in the beginning.

 

[GreggHL]

am i the only one getting a bit of a granny weatherwax vibe from golah?

Click to shrink...

You're welcome.

 

[GreggHL]

Golah strikes me as some kind of faintly wiseass Obi-Wan. I like that.

Click to shrink...

Golah is basically a wiseass mentor with a Perfect-crafted battlestaff she will use to whap you on the nose when you do something stupid.

Who also crippled Cloverfield and hollowed out its skull as a condo. So she's terrifying. But also friendly and helpful. Because when you consider that she is thousands of years old, and Krogan, you have to ask how she survived that long.

And the answer is Because she's Golah, Great Sage Equal of Heaven.

 

[Durabys]

oh shit, Tuchunka's star is Gaia.

Click to shrink...

As I pointed out earlier!

Two words: Mother Star.

Click to shrink...

Gaia's World Jouten!?

And we must follow up another episode of 'Strange Family Reunion' by Durabys.

Autochthon, with caution observing Tuchanka's star: Hello there?
Gaia, frightened that somekind of unknown Celestial Incarnae-level God-construct tries to communicate with her: *trying to Essence-conceal her presence in vain*
Autochthon, a little bit annoyed and snarky: Oh, PLEASE! Your idea of being inconspicious is about as much effective as if 'Brass Ass' attempted to hide Himself. I know its another one of you, so, please, cease the charade.
Gaia, surpsised as recognition dawns on while she reveals herself: Is it you, Auto-kun?
Autochthon, with joy: Gaia!? Is that you!?
Gaia, with delight: Yes my dear relative. How is life going?
Autochthon, with hints of annoyance: Currently? Bad!
Gaia, frowning: Why? There are not many things that could..*realization and shock dawn on as she remembers: 'I know its another one of you, so, please cease the charade.'*..oh. Is your mood caused by..
Autochthon, interrupts, in sadness: I met recently one of the Super Great Meanies again. *crude oil tears go down from his single eye*
Gaia, now the situation dawns on her, alarmed : Wait! You mean that one of them eneded up here somehow! Only the Ebon Dragon could perhaps escape and that only because of his abilities.. .
Autochthon, interrupts with rage starting to drip into his voice due to memories of the distant past: As.. I..said..Super Great Meanies!
Gaia, stares for a while when it strucks her, horrified: Wait! You mean that one of those three siblings ended up here! Please. Be it not Him. Which..?
Autochthon, again interrupts, with unhidden malice and annoyance: No. Its Crystal Ball in all her 'Brass Ass' worshipping regalia and annoying presence.
Gaia, facepalms and is now annoyed too: Great. Thanks Autochthon. There goes my vacation.

Click to shrink...

Click to shrink...

"Sounds rough. Are the Insunnamon still in charge? Because they seemed like the mass sterilizing type."

Click to shrink...

So she left Tuchanka BEFORE the Prothean Empire!? Oh my god!

She was perhaps the one that helped the Solar Kings of the Protheans to get their people of their homeworld!

 

[Durabys]

"Mother" is a rather common word to use with anything associated with genesis, you know.

Click to shrink...

Fine.

But it possible that our dear Sage may have left Tuchanka a 100k+ or so years ago and then was spending most of her time on Feros..among the primitive Protheans. It is very possible that the Protheans learned Enlightenment philosophy from her and that she served as an example for Heroism and helped the Protheans to get off their HomeWorld. All combined it made sure that most Solar Shards ended up in the hands of the Prothean God Emperors.

Golah is basically a wiseass mentor with a Perfect-crafted battlestaff she will use to whap you on the nose when you do something stupid.

Who also crippled Cloverfield and hollowed out its skull as a condo. So she's terrifying. But also friendly and helpful. Because when you consider that she is thousands of years old, and Krogan, you have to ask how she survived that long.

And the answer is Because she's Golah, Great Sage Equal of Heaven.

Click to shrink...

Yes. But how does she reached that level of badass in the first place. What was her stimuli or motivation in the first place to become a Hero, with a capital letter?

 

[GreggHL]

Fine.

But it possible that our dear Sage may have left Tuchanka a 100k+ or so years ago and then was spending most of her time on Feros..among the primitive Protheans. It is very possible that the Protheans learned Enlightenment philosophy from her and that she served as an example for Heroism and helped the Protheans to get off their HomeWorld. All combined it made sure that most Solar Shards ended up in the hands of the Prothean God Emperors.

Click to shrink...

There's an equal possibility that if Golah did come to Feros 50k+ years ago, her main interaction with the Protheans was telling those four eyed assholes to get the hell off her lawn and whacking the uppity ones who tried to be all imperial with her staff.

Because the Protheans, if Javik is an example, were assholes.

 

[Durabys]

There's an equal possibility that if Golah did come to Feros 50k+ years ago, her main interaction with the Protheans was telling those four eyed assholes to get the hell off her lawn and whacking the uppity ones who tried to be all imperial with her staff.

Because the Protheans, if Javik is an example, were assholes.

Click to shrink...

So..

...

..she was capable to whack Prothean Elder Solar God Emperors with her staf and get away with it!?

Ok. She has become beyond mere EPIC BADASS now.

 

[Swordomatic]

So..

...

..she was capable to whack Prothean Elder Solar God Emperors with her staf and get away with it!?

Ok. She has become beyond mere EPIC BADASS now.

Click to shrink...

Or perhaps the Prothean Solar God Emperors didn't bother with her. After all, it's only one world, and they have better things to do.

I don't think the Reapers would let a Solar get to the Elder stage if they could, and up until Javik did his thing, they definitely could.

 

[Durabys]

Or perhaps the Prothean Solar God Emperors didn't bother with her. After all, it's only one world, and they have better things to do.

I don't think the Reapers would let a Solar get to the Elder stage if they could, and up until Javik did his thing, they definitely could.

Click to shrink...

In-GSP-univrse Feros is the Homeworld of the Protheans. They evolved there.

We will find out, but I ask you to not consider golah the example for "hero". Wrex is a hero. Liara is a hero.
Remember that being a hero is the pre-requisite to be a superpowered demigod, and superpowered demigods exist, so there are heroes that aren't superpowered demigods.

Click to shrink...

Did I say that she is a Solar? No. Super!Enlightened and biologically immortal..but not a Celestial Exalt.

 

[Swordomatic]

In-GSP-univrse Feros is the Homeworld of the Protheans. They evolved there.

Click to shrink...

I'm aware. The Solar God-Emperors may not care for it, though. They have the Citadel, which is superior to their deathworld homeworld in pretty much every way.

There is no real logical* sense why a Solar couldn't kill her unless they didn't care.

*Yes, I'm aware this is a GreggHL story. You can't take logic from me.

 

[Durabys]

I'm aware. The Solar God-Emperors may not care for it, though. They have the Citadel, which is superior to their deathworld homeworld in pretty much every way.

There is no real logical* sense why a Solar couldn't kill her unless they didn't care.

*Yes, I'm aware this is a GreggHL story. You can't take logic from me.

Click to shrink...

The Solar Emperors could have existed in the Protheans bronze age probably. Long before the Protheans achieved space flight.

 

[GreggHL]

I'm aware. The Solar God-Emperors may not care for it, though. They have the Citadel, which is superior to their deathworld homeworld in pretty much every way.

There is no real logical* sense why a Solar couldn't kill her unless they didn't care.

*Yes, I'm aware this is a GreggHL story. You can't take logic from me.

Click to shrink...

Protheans had the main advantage of being a touch-based memory sharing species. A prothean would, for example, attempt to read Golah's memories by touching her.

Golah's from Tuchanka.

Cancadjoran don't got shit on Motherfucking Kalros.