Fighting with Depression - by Meowgician
Fighting with Depression
"So, I can't help but notice," Remarked Alejandro Ortiz with a raised eyebrow, tilting his head at the wind-swept cliff covered in grass and the calm sea reflecting the sun below. "This environment seems to favour me very heavily. Not very promising for you, given I usually win our little spars."
"That's why you're letting me get some set-up in," Responded Iván as he pushed the last full-length mirror into place. "Gotta level the playing field, otherwise you'll just stomp me, and you can't work off your sadness like that, now can you?"
"And yet this is nowhere near enough." Alejandro glanced at the twelve mirrors surrounding him, still not moving from his position with his arms crossed. "You're planning something. You think, no, you're certain it's going to be enough to win."
"Aren't you going to ask me what it is?"
"Don't waste our time, you wouldn't tell me." Alejandro finally shifted from his position, kneeling down to pluck some blades of grass from the ground and practically sighed out out his transformation phrase "Let's get this over with… Enough."
The ever-present breeze increased in intensity and swirled around Alejandro, picking up pollen and fragments of willow catkin from nowhere until it formed an almost ethereal pink cocoon around him, visible yet not quite real. By the time the wind died down and the pollen evaporated into the ether, he'd transformed into Willow in the Wind, all without budging a single inch.
"Banter is never a waste of time! Maybe if you weren't such a killjoy you wouldn't be so depressed." This needling earned him a sharp glare from his otherwise impassive brother, before his face once more settled into the calm mask of neutrality.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry, I just… You've been stuck in this rut for so long…" Iván's trademark smile faded for a moment, before returning in full force. "Calm waters, reflect my soul!"
Iván took a step forward and the floor beneath his foot rippled as though it were shallow water he had stepped on and not solid ground. He took another without missing a beat and his front foot sank into the ground with no resistance, followed by the rest of his body falling forwards with his back foot as an anchor to rotate around. Not a moment later, he had emerged, fully transformed into Lotus on Still Waters, from the rippling ground, or rather fallen out of it, still walking forwards like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Then, leaving no time after the end of his transformation, Lotus dashed straight at Willow, who for his part, ignored the feint and instead took a moment to imbue the grass he'd plucked with some extra reality, fashioning them into sharp and dense pieces of flora truly deserving to be called blades. Then, as Lotus turned on a dime and dove into one of the mirrors, Willow began throwing the blades at the mirrors surrounding him, counting down as he shattered them.
11…
Lotus silently emerged feet-first from the mirror behind Willow, his left hand catching the top edge,
10…
The momentum both driving him in a loop above it and pushing it forwards,
9…
And then even faster and further as Lotus completed his loop and kicked off it, aiming to engulf Willow with its rippling surface.
8…
This elicited a raised eyebrow from Willow, as he'd seen the entire scene play out on the mirror in front of him, so he simply elected to target the one behind him next,
7…
But Lotus was already jumping into his Starshoot, an ornate hand mirror, under the cover of the now shattered but still obscuring distraction,
6…
And allowing him to emerge from an unexpected angle, landing a dropkick that briefly stopped Willow from accumulating any more years of bad luck as he tumbled across the grass. Willow recovered swiftly and reached out with his own Starshoot, an ephemeral blue string that floated on wind currents not of this world, seeking to touch Lotus and weigh him down with his reality.
But Lotus had already retreated back into the closest mirror out of Willow's reach, and then immediately emerged in his blind spot, landing yet another hit. This turned out to have been a bad idea, however, as the Starshoot had been a feint, and Willow had shed enough of his own reality that the jab that would have put him on the back foot, or killed an ordinary human, merely disoriented him for a moment as it passed through his head with only some resistance, as though it were passing through honey.
This momentary disorientation, fortunately, gave Lotus just enough leeway to dodge Willow's outstretched hand by centimetres, and dive back into the mirror he'd emerged from, which Willow promptly shattered. Lotus had been moments away from losing the spar on the spot.
5...
As he emerged from another mirror, he did something he hadn't done the whole match, and stopped for a beat.
Willow stepped to the side as he threw another blade, expecting to narrowly dodge Lotus's Starshoot as it was called back to him,
4…
But that too, had been a feint, and as Willow's attention strayed behind him, Lotus took the opportunity to attack from an unexpected angle yet again, and land a devastating series of punches that would have won him the match, but with Willow shedding so much reality so fast, only made him stagger back, buying Lotus time to retreat, and bringing him closer to a victory that still continued to accelerate away.
So, for his final trick, Lotus emerged in front of Willow, and gestured at him to come with a mischievous grin. Willow simply looked impassively at him, and shattered the last mirror outside his line of sight.
3…
Lotus briefly shot back with an indignant glare as he stepped back in the mirror, then emerged from another one and feinted at Willow, who rushed forward to meet him only to see him dive back into safety. So Willow shattered one of the remaining mirrors, and reached with his Starshoot towards the other one, laying a trap he was sure Lotus could not escape,
2…
And instead of emerging from the last mirror, Lotus dove out of the one he had just entered, tackling Willow with enough force to win the spar a third time, but with Willow having so little reality left, it was only enough to cause both of them to lose their balance and tumble across the grass.
Lotus managed to recover few fractions of a second earlier, which was just enough time to get out of Willow's reach and get to a mirror, but not before Willow also got back up and shattered the penultimate one, leaving Lotus stranded with his back against a sheer drop into the ocean.
1…
What was left was less a game of cat and mouse, and more the final moves before checkmate. Lotus was ordinarily too fast for Willow to catch, but with so little space, and Willow slowly closing in, matching every feint with one of his own, all Lotus could do was slowly retreat holding his mirror as he was backed into a corner…
Until, mere metres away from Willow, Lotus grinned and shattered the last mirror he had been so jealously guarding…
0!
And levitated its shards for a moment before throwing them straight at Willow, who made no move to dodge.
"I am nothing."
Instead, he shed his last bits of reality, leaving nothing behind but the Image of Willow, which the shards passed through harmlessly. A beat later, the Image stepped to the side, having predicted exactly when Lotus would recall his Starshoot, at the same time reaching out with his own.
And with that single touch, it was over. Lotus dropped his Starshoot and his knees buckled under the suddenly increased weight of reality, but he remained standing, a testament to their many past spars.
"You've got to be the least enthusiastic tag player I've ever seen" He quipped with a smirk.
Willow backed away, not looking at Lotus, but at his Starshoot on the ground. "Just tap out and let's go home. We both know how this ends."
Any Hanazakari without Lotus's combination of strength, experience fighting Willow, and sheer, unbridled stubbornness would have collapsed under their own weight by now. Lotus instead raised a hand to his head, agonizingly slow and trembling with effort despite his mouth now widening into a full on grin, then did a two-fingered salute before flicking it at Willow.
"Sayonara, Sunshine!" And he fell backwards off the cliff and into the sea.
Willow simply walked to the edge, kicked Lotus's Starshoot off the edge as well, and backed off to observe the spot Lotus had jumped off of moments earlier, the touch of haste in his kick being the only thing to betray his anxiousness at knowing that Lotus was enacting his new trick, but still not knowing what it was.
Willow's attention having been successfully misdirected, he did not hear the shards rearrange themselves back into a complete mirror behind him, and was completely taken by surprise when Lotus shot out of it with all the momentum he'd built up with his fall off the cliff, and grabbed onto Willow's arm, taking advantage of all the extra reality he had been given to make sure Willow couldn't escape, and sending the both of them on a ballistic trajectory straight into the sea, cackling madly all the while.
"And scratch one more victory for me!" Lotus shouted over the wind as they flew (or, rather, fell with style) through the air. Willow, for his part, yanked his arm out of Lotus's grip with more than a little bit of anger because he already won he doesn't need to touch me why won't he let go.
"Don't you usually lose?" Willow responded after taking a moment to get back in control of his emotions.
"That just makes these victories all the sweeter!" Lotus responded, mania still dancing in his eyes as they reached the peak of their arc and gravity started to send them downwards once more.
"Will it still be sweet after we've both climbed back up to the car soaking wet?" Willow deadpanned, looking meaningfully at the blue sea that they had been accelerating towards all the while.
"I don't have to set a single foot in the sea to get back," Lotus stretched out his arm, offering a hand to Willow. "And neither do you."
Despite the wind rushing past them, and the sea being only moments away, Willow took a second to look disapprovingly at Lotus's outstretched hand, though he couldn't stop his smile at being offered the choice.
"I'll swi-"
*SPLASH*
"So, feeling better after your little swim?" Asked Iván as he tossed a towel at Alejandro, who responded with a non-committal grunt.
"That's not a no… So it means you're finally happy!" Iván piped up with cheer in his voice. Alejandro could almost believe it was genuine, if Iván weren't his brother. If it hadn't been so many years since he'd become a shell of his former self, an exterior of success with nothing on the inside.
Still, at least he should be honest. He'd already tried presenting that façade to his family, and it had only caused more pain for everyone involved.
"I'm not happy. Nor am I sad. I'm not anything. At least not until my emotions recover from using my powers."
"Still sounds like an upgrade to your usual depression!" Iván was still trying to keep things positive despite everything, bless his heart.
"Careful now, you might get accused of sympathizing with the Frost Fair!" Alejandro joked with a smile so faint and brief it might not have existed at all. It certainly wasn't genuine, no matter how hard he may have tried to make it so.
"I certainly wouldn't call it an upgrade in the sense you're thinking. There's no joy either, and even as it slowly comes back, it feels… I don't know how to fully explain it… Hollow?" Alejandro finished drying himself off, and handed the towel back to Iván as he gazed wistfully at the sea, melancholy creeping into his voice.
"At least when I'm feeling depressed, I feel like I'm still alive. And when it dies down to just a calm melancholy, it can even get a bit… comfortable, almost." He then shook his head, as if it would help clear his thoughts, and started to walk back to their parked car. "Still, it's nice to get a break from it every now and then."
Iván then began "Well, Sergio and I-" and he put his hand on Alejandro's shoulder and it's colder than a FUCKING FROSTFARER why won't he listen he knows I hate it getitoff!
"What the hell did I tell you about not touching me?!" Alejandro immediately snapped as he swatted Iván's hand away, his voice cracking under the weight of his sudden burst of anger.
"Come on, you were doing so good!" Iván complained, "Do you really have to make such a big deal out of it?"
Having the audacity to be indignant at me for wanting my personal space to be respected.
"Apparently, I do, because if I don't then you simply don't care!"
"Please, be reasonable. Let's just get in the car and go home." Iván said as he reached out to Alejandro once more.
This turned out to have been the wrong move yet again, as Alejandro managed to aggressively back away from the outstretched hand, even as his tone became more diplomatic.
"Just… Leave. I need some time alone to cool off. I'll make my own way back."
"What, are you going to walk? Look, I'll have enough power in about fifteen minutes to get back with one of my mirrors and you can take the car, okay?"
"No... I want you gone now. You drive... I'll make my own way back." Alejandro replied, the words catching in his throat, as he turned away and walked towards their former arena, the debris having been cleaned up by Iván earlier.
"Hey-" Iván started behind Alejandro, but suddenly cut himself off when the latter abruptly turned around and silently glared.
"Are we really doing this now?"
No response was forthcoming.
"Fine, let's compromise. I'll wait in the car for you to calm down, and then we can go home."
Alejandro didn't shift or change expression at all, and yet still managed to communicate that he would not be accepting this.
"Are you really going to treat your own brother like this?"
"Enough!" For the second time that day, the winds swirled around Alejandro and he transformed, once more without budging a single inch.
Iván flinched in surprise, and a small staredown ensued while he waited for an action, any action, that never came.
"Did you seriously transform just to glare harder at me?!"
The complete lack of response indicated that this was, indeed, what Alejandro had just done.
"Alright, fine, you win. I don't have a response to that."
Iván and Alejandro finally turned away from each other, the former acquiescing and driving away, while the latter detransformed, walked to the cliff's edge, and sat down, his legs dangling over the sheer drop and his head held high with his eyes closed to savour the breeze.
After a few minutes, once his breath had stopped being so shaky, Alejandro opened his eyes, and then began shaking again, this time with bitter laughter.
Like a willow in the wind, Alejandro bends in response to hardship. He bends to fit into his new role, to exist in a society that does not accommodate him, to compromise with others who don't even realize a compromise is happening in the first place. He may not break, but that doesn't stop the bending from hurting.
Originally, his power was merely to make objects more than real, emphasizing their properties, metaphorical or otherwise. But, as his self-image deteriorated, so too did his physical self in Hanazakari form, losing reality and rendering him harder to physically touch, to connect with. And he would also learn that passing his reality on to others would bring them down, just like his worst fears.
Of course, anything he'd imbued his reality into would still be fully capable of harming him. After all, if he'd lost nothing in the Frost Decade as the defender of Valencia, if he had a loving family, and a comfortable government job as the face of Hanazakari in Spain, yet he still felt so awful… He could only conclude that the cause of his suffering was himself.
Still waters may be beautiful, yet soon enough they will grow stagnant, and the life that once flourished in them will be choked by the very plenty they once benefited from. Iván looks at other people, and he only ever sees himself. He is kind to himself, and so he is kind to others. But how could he ever understand and be kind to someone different to him, if he does not see those differences? There is no volume at which a deaf person will hear you.
"So, I can't help but notice," Remarked Alejandro Ortiz with a raised eyebrow, tilting his head at the wind-swept cliff covered in grass and the calm sea reflecting the sun below. "This environment seems to favour me very heavily. Not very promising for you, given I usually win our little spars."
"That's why you're letting me get some set-up in," Responded Iván as he pushed the last full-length mirror into place. "Gotta level the playing field, otherwise you'll just stomp me, and you can't work off your sadness like that, now can you?"
"And yet this is nowhere near enough." Alejandro glanced at the twelve mirrors surrounding him, still not moving from his position with his arms crossed. "You're planning something. You think, no, you're certain it's going to be enough to win."
"Aren't you going to ask me what it is?"
"Don't waste our time, you wouldn't tell me." Alejandro finally shifted from his position, kneeling down to pluck some blades of grass from the ground and practically sighed out out his transformation phrase "Let's get this over with… Enough."
The ever-present breeze increased in intensity and swirled around Alejandro, picking up pollen and fragments of willow catkin from nowhere until it formed an almost ethereal pink cocoon around him, visible yet not quite real. By the time the wind died down and the pollen evaporated into the ether, he'd transformed into Willow in the Wind, all without budging a single inch.
"Banter is never a waste of time! Maybe if you weren't such a killjoy you wouldn't be so depressed." This needling earned him a sharp glare from his otherwise impassive brother, before his face once more settled into the calm mask of neutrality.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry, I just… You've been stuck in this rut for so long…" Iván's trademark smile faded for a moment, before returning in full force. "Calm waters, reflect my soul!"
Iván took a step forward and the floor beneath his foot rippled as though it were shallow water he had stepped on and not solid ground. He took another without missing a beat and his front foot sank into the ground with no resistance, followed by the rest of his body falling forwards with his back foot as an anchor to rotate around. Not a moment later, he had emerged, fully transformed into Lotus on Still Waters, from the rippling ground, or rather fallen out of it, still walking forwards like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Then, leaving no time after the end of his transformation, Lotus dashed straight at Willow, who for his part, ignored the feint and instead took a moment to imbue the grass he'd plucked with some extra reality, fashioning them into sharp and dense pieces of flora truly deserving to be called blades. Then, as Lotus turned on a dime and dove into one of the mirrors, Willow began throwing the blades at the mirrors surrounding him, counting down as he shattered them.
11…
Lotus silently emerged feet-first from the mirror behind Willow, his left hand catching the top edge,
10…
The momentum both driving him in a loop above it and pushing it forwards,
9…
And then even faster and further as Lotus completed his loop and kicked off it, aiming to engulf Willow with its rippling surface.
8…
This elicited a raised eyebrow from Willow, as he'd seen the entire scene play out on the mirror in front of him, so he simply elected to target the one behind him next,
7…
But Lotus was already jumping into his Starshoot, an ornate hand mirror, under the cover of the now shattered but still obscuring distraction,
6…
And allowing him to emerge from an unexpected angle, landing a dropkick that briefly stopped Willow from accumulating any more years of bad luck as he tumbled across the grass. Willow recovered swiftly and reached out with his own Starshoot, an ephemeral blue string that floated on wind currents not of this world, seeking to touch Lotus and weigh him down with his reality.
But Lotus had already retreated back into the closest mirror out of Willow's reach, and then immediately emerged in his blind spot, landing yet another hit. This turned out to have been a bad idea, however, as the Starshoot had been a feint, and Willow had shed enough of his own reality that the jab that would have put him on the back foot, or killed an ordinary human, merely disoriented him for a moment as it passed through his head with only some resistance, as though it were passing through honey.
This momentary disorientation, fortunately, gave Lotus just enough leeway to dodge Willow's outstretched hand by centimetres, and dive back into the mirror he'd emerged from, which Willow promptly shattered. Lotus had been moments away from losing the spar on the spot.
5...
As he emerged from another mirror, he did something he hadn't done the whole match, and stopped for a beat.
Willow stepped to the side as he threw another blade, expecting to narrowly dodge Lotus's Starshoot as it was called back to him,
4…
But that too, had been a feint, and as Willow's attention strayed behind him, Lotus took the opportunity to attack from an unexpected angle yet again, and land a devastating series of punches that would have won him the match, but with Willow shedding so much reality so fast, only made him stagger back, buying Lotus time to retreat, and bringing him closer to a victory that still continued to accelerate away.
So, for his final trick, Lotus emerged in front of Willow, and gestured at him to come with a mischievous grin. Willow simply looked impassively at him, and shattered the last mirror outside his line of sight.
3…
Lotus briefly shot back with an indignant glare as he stepped back in the mirror, then emerged from another one and feinted at Willow, who rushed forward to meet him only to see him dive back into safety. So Willow shattered one of the remaining mirrors, and reached with his Starshoot towards the other one, laying a trap he was sure Lotus could not escape,
2…
And instead of emerging from the last mirror, Lotus dove out of the one he had just entered, tackling Willow with enough force to win the spar a third time, but with Willow having so little reality left, it was only enough to cause both of them to lose their balance and tumble across the grass.
Lotus managed to recover few fractions of a second earlier, which was just enough time to get out of Willow's reach and get to a mirror, but not before Willow also got back up and shattered the penultimate one, leaving Lotus stranded with his back against a sheer drop into the ocean.
1…
What was left was less a game of cat and mouse, and more the final moves before checkmate. Lotus was ordinarily too fast for Willow to catch, but with so little space, and Willow slowly closing in, matching every feint with one of his own, all Lotus could do was slowly retreat holding his mirror as he was backed into a corner…
Until, mere metres away from Willow, Lotus grinned and shattered the last mirror he had been so jealously guarding…
0!
And levitated its shards for a moment before throwing them straight at Willow, who made no move to dodge.
"I am nothing."
Instead, he shed his last bits of reality, leaving nothing behind but the Image of Willow, which the shards passed through harmlessly. A beat later, the Image stepped to the side, having predicted exactly when Lotus would recall his Starshoot, at the same time reaching out with his own.
And with that single touch, it was over. Lotus dropped his Starshoot and his knees buckled under the suddenly increased weight of reality, but he remained standing, a testament to their many past spars.
"You've got to be the least enthusiastic tag player I've ever seen" He quipped with a smirk.
Willow backed away, not looking at Lotus, but at his Starshoot on the ground. "Just tap out and let's go home. We both know how this ends."
Any Hanazakari without Lotus's combination of strength, experience fighting Willow, and sheer, unbridled stubbornness would have collapsed under their own weight by now. Lotus instead raised a hand to his head, agonizingly slow and trembling with effort despite his mouth now widening into a full on grin, then did a two-fingered salute before flicking it at Willow.
"Sayonara, Sunshine!" And he fell backwards off the cliff and into the sea.
Willow simply walked to the edge, kicked Lotus's Starshoot off the edge as well, and backed off to observe the spot Lotus had jumped off of moments earlier, the touch of haste in his kick being the only thing to betray his anxiousness at knowing that Lotus was enacting his new trick, but still not knowing what it was.
Willow's attention having been successfully misdirected, he did not hear the shards rearrange themselves back into a complete mirror behind him, and was completely taken by surprise when Lotus shot out of it with all the momentum he'd built up with his fall off the cliff, and grabbed onto Willow's arm, taking advantage of all the extra reality he had been given to make sure Willow couldn't escape, and sending the both of them on a ballistic trajectory straight into the sea, cackling madly all the while.
"And scratch one more victory for me!" Lotus shouted over the wind as they flew (or, rather, fell with style) through the air. Willow, for his part, yanked his arm out of Lotus's grip with more than a little bit of anger because he already won he doesn't need to touch me why won't he let go.
"Don't you usually lose?" Willow responded after taking a moment to get back in control of his emotions.
"That just makes these victories all the sweeter!" Lotus responded, mania still dancing in his eyes as they reached the peak of their arc and gravity started to send them downwards once more.
"Will it still be sweet after we've both climbed back up to the car soaking wet?" Willow deadpanned, looking meaningfully at the blue sea that they had been accelerating towards all the while.
"I don't have to set a single foot in the sea to get back," Lotus stretched out his arm, offering a hand to Willow. "And neither do you."
Despite the wind rushing past them, and the sea being only moments away, Willow took a second to look disapprovingly at Lotus's outstretched hand, though he couldn't stop his smile at being offered the choice.
"I'll swi-"
*SPLASH*
"So, feeling better after your little swim?" Asked Iván as he tossed a towel at Alejandro, who responded with a non-committal grunt.
"That's not a no… So it means you're finally happy!" Iván piped up with cheer in his voice. Alejandro could almost believe it was genuine, if Iván weren't his brother. If it hadn't been so many years since he'd become a shell of his former self, an exterior of success with nothing on the inside.
Still, at least he should be honest. He'd already tried presenting that façade to his family, and it had only caused more pain for everyone involved.
"I'm not happy. Nor am I sad. I'm not anything. At least not until my emotions recover from using my powers."
"Still sounds like an upgrade to your usual depression!" Iván was still trying to keep things positive despite everything, bless his heart.
"Careful now, you might get accused of sympathizing with the Frost Fair!" Alejandro joked with a smile so faint and brief it might not have existed at all. It certainly wasn't genuine, no matter how hard he may have tried to make it so.
"I certainly wouldn't call it an upgrade in the sense you're thinking. There's no joy either, and even as it slowly comes back, it feels… I don't know how to fully explain it… Hollow?" Alejandro finished drying himself off, and handed the towel back to Iván as he gazed wistfully at the sea, melancholy creeping into his voice.
"At least when I'm feeling depressed, I feel like I'm still alive. And when it dies down to just a calm melancholy, it can even get a bit… comfortable, almost." He then shook his head, as if it would help clear his thoughts, and started to walk back to their parked car. "Still, it's nice to get a break from it every now and then."
Iván then began "Well, Sergio and I-" and he put his hand on Alejandro's shoulder and it's colder than a FUCKING FROSTFARER why won't he listen he knows I hate it getitoff!
"What the hell did I tell you about not touching me?!" Alejandro immediately snapped as he swatted Iván's hand away, his voice cracking under the weight of his sudden burst of anger.
"Come on, you were doing so good!" Iván complained, "Do you really have to make such a big deal out of it?"
Having the audacity to be indignant at me for wanting my personal space to be respected.
"Apparently, I do, because if I don't then you simply don't care!"
"Please, be reasonable. Let's just get in the car and go home." Iván said as he reached out to Alejandro once more.
This turned out to have been the wrong move yet again, as Alejandro managed to aggressively back away from the outstretched hand, even as his tone became more diplomatic.
"Just… Leave. I need some time alone to cool off. I'll make my own way back."
"What, are you going to walk? Look, I'll have enough power in about fifteen minutes to get back with one of my mirrors and you can take the car, okay?"
"No... I want you gone now. You drive... I'll make my own way back." Alejandro replied, the words catching in his throat, as he turned away and walked towards their former arena, the debris having been cleaned up by Iván earlier.
"Hey-" Iván started behind Alejandro, but suddenly cut himself off when the latter abruptly turned around and silently glared.
"Are we really doing this now?"
No response was forthcoming.
"Fine, let's compromise. I'll wait in the car for you to calm down, and then we can go home."
Alejandro didn't shift or change expression at all, and yet still managed to communicate that he would not be accepting this.
"Are you really going to treat your own brother like this?"
"Enough!" For the second time that day, the winds swirled around Alejandro and he transformed, once more without budging a single inch.
Iván flinched in surprise, and a small staredown ensued while he waited for an action, any action, that never came.
"Did you seriously transform just to glare harder at me?!"
The complete lack of response indicated that this was, indeed, what Alejandro had just done.
"Alright, fine, you win. I don't have a response to that."
Iván and Alejandro finally turned away from each other, the former acquiescing and driving away, while the latter detransformed, walked to the cliff's edge, and sat down, his legs dangling over the sheer drop and his head held high with his eyes closed to savour the breeze.
After a few minutes, once his breath had stopped being so shaky, Alejandro opened his eyes, and then began shaking again, this time with bitter laughter.
Like a willow in the wind, Alejandro bends in response to hardship. He bends to fit into his new role, to exist in a society that does not accommodate him, to compromise with others who don't even realize a compromise is happening in the first place. He may not break, but that doesn't stop the bending from hurting.
Originally, his power was merely to make objects more than real, emphasizing their properties, metaphorical or otherwise. But, as his self-image deteriorated, so too did his physical self in Hanazakari form, losing reality and rendering him harder to physically touch, to connect with. And he would also learn that passing his reality on to others would bring them down, just like his worst fears.
Of course, anything he'd imbued his reality into would still be fully capable of harming him. After all, if he'd lost nothing in the Frost Decade as the defender of Valencia, if he had a loving family, and a comfortable government job as the face of Hanazakari in Spain, yet he still felt so awful… He could only conclude that the cause of his suffering was himself.
Still waters may be beautiful, yet soon enough they will grow stagnant, and the life that once flourished in them will be choked by the very plenty they once benefited from. Iván looks at other people, and he only ever sees himself. He is kind to himself, and so he is kind to others. But how could he ever understand and be kind to someone different to him, if he does not see those differences? There is no volume at which a deaf person will hear you.
I originally got this idea when Arlequine mentioned that "negative" emotions were just as capable of fueling Hanazakari powers, and I wondered, what would a Hanazakari who fuels themselves with depression be like?
It's also the reason for the title. To fight with something can have many possible meanings. Is it an ally you fight alongside, or an opponent you fight against? Or perhaps it is some tool you use, or a burden that weighs you down? For a Hanazakari, depression can appear to be all four. Yet it is a toxic companion they are better off without, and a tool that extracts a price too steep.
I am so happy with this piece, which is something REALLY rare for me. Still, I am well aware that it is by no means perfect (For a start, I cannot into physical descriptions) so, please feed me constructive criticism.
It's also the reason for the title. To fight with something can have many possible meanings. Is it an ally you fight alongside, or an opponent you fight against? Or perhaps it is some tool you use, or a burden that weighs you down? For a Hanazakari, depression can appear to be all four. Yet it is a toxic companion they are better off without, and a tool that extracts a price too steep.
I am so happy with this piece, which is something REALLY rare for me. Still, I am well aware that it is by no means perfect (For a start, I cannot into physical descriptions) so, please feed me constructive criticism.
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(The on thin ice pun probably got more of a chuckle out of me than it should.)