Isn't that Hervor one the really overpowered one, too much so for her legend and fame that was suggested in the Fate/Counter Force quest? Actually, aren't most of these Servants kind of world-breaking? I mean, Karna is canon, but still. Shiki is, while still overpowered, the only one I can see that isn't completely over-the-top.
*discovers this via the Holy Grail War tag*
Rightyho, then. Time to tear apart a few sheets.
Question for the OP: What, exactly, is this supposed to be? At the moment, it seems to look suspisciously like a RP's signups.
Which would mean it's in the wrong section.
Now to critique.
(Incidentally, Ruler is part of the original Grail War system. He's designed normally to pop up if everyone teams up together.)
Class: Rider
True Name: Herla King (Harlequin)
Master:
Str: D
End: D
Agi: B
Pra: Ex
Luk: E---
Class Skills:
Riding: Ex
Personal Skills:
Charisma: B
Discernment of the poor: D
Divinity: E-
Golden Rule: B
Military Tactics: C
Protection of the Faeries: Ex
Noble Phantasm:
The Wild Hunt: Anti-Army Ex
The Wild Hunt is a super natural army made of Faeries, Demons, Valkyries, and humans that forever rides in the skies. Those that see The Wild Hunt die. All that fall before it, join it. Those that try to leave it turn to dust. (Some gods ride with The Wild Hunt)
Wilde Jagd (German: "wild hunt/chase") or Wildes Heer (German: "wild army"), Herlaþing (Old English: "Herla's assembly"), Woden's Hunt, Herod's Hunt, Cain's Hunt,[4] the Devil's Dandy Dogs (in Cornwall),[5] Gabriel's Hounds (in northern England),[6] Ghost Riders (in North America),[7] Mesnée d'Hellequin (Old North French: "household of Hellequin"), Cŵn Annwn (Welsh: "hounds of Annwn"), divoký hon or štvaní (Czech: "wild hunt", "baiting"), Dziki Gon or Dziki Łów (Polish), Oskoreia or Åsgårdsreia(originally oskurreia) (Norwegian: "noisy riders", "The Ride of Asgard"),[8] Odens jakt or Vilda jakten (Swedish: "the hunt of Odin" or "wild hunt"). divja jaga, meaning "the wild hunting party" or "wild hunt", in Slovene; Caccia Morta (Dead hunt) or Caccia selvaggia (wild hunt) in Italian; Estantiga (from Hoste Antiga, Galician: "the old army"), Hostia, Compaña and Santa Compaña ("troop, company") in Galicia, and güestia in Asturias.
Oh joy.
-Slapping a load of rubbish stats on to justify EX-Ranks does not a good sheet make.
-And here we have our first case of "Goddamnit, stop misusing EX". Prana is, essentially, the energy reserves; it's not strictly stamina. Your justification for EX Mana would work better if you were trying to justify ridiculously high Independent Action, not Mana.
-Riding EX, though also likely unjustified, seems to be tied to the Phantasm. We'll come back to this.
-PotFae is a blessing from faeries. Like this guy appears to be. This would be served a lot better by uoranking Divinity rather than shoehirning anither EX in.
-Meanwhike, a check of the myth shows that Golden Rule is definitely unjustified.
-And now, to the Phantasm. First up, it's badly worded and hard to understand. Next up, it seems to contradict the myth it's from; people who run into the Hunt in the myth are ounished if they stand against it and get a cursed item if they help. And worst of all, it's a generic "Summon Army" Phantasm with some attempted "kill everything" notes.
Doesn't help that it breaks one of the few established unbroken rules of the Grail Wars: Gods can't be called forth.
These kinds of sheets are why I got my sheetnerfing reputation over on SB's Fictional Servant Thread.
Assassin Adam is even worse than this, but thankfully to my sanity has been rejected.
Bio:
Hervor was born after her father Angantyr's death (he died during a duel against the Swedish hero Hjalmar), and she grew up as a slave. She dressed like a man, fought, killed and pillaged under her male surname Hjörvard. When she learned of her father's identity she decided to live as her father and to find Tyrfing, the magic sword.
One day, she arrived with her fleet to Munarvágr on Samsø (Samsey), but she was the only one who dared to embark on the haunted island. The remainder of her crew feared the nightly activities around the barrows on the island. As she approached the barrows she saw a fire shining above them, and she approached the largest one. She then talked with a loud voice summoning her father Angantyr to reveal himself. She said that as his daughter she was entitled to her rightful inheritance, Tyrfing. Then, she also summoned her eleven uncles and she did so with such a loud voice and such harsh words that finally, her father's voice was heard and he asked not to pursue her quest. She did not give in but continued to ask for her rightful inheritance. Finally, the grave opened and in its centre a fire was shining. There she saw her father, and he warned her not to ask for the sword. It would bring death to their whole clan if she used it. Still, she persisted. Finally the sword was cast out of the grave, and she eagerly gripped it, bid farewell to her dead kinsmen and walked to the shore.
However, when she arrived at the shore, the ships were gone. Her crew had been scared away by the fires and the thunder from the barrows. Eventually, she managed to leave the island and arrived at the court of Gudmund of Glæsisvellir. She still dressed herself as a man and called herself Hjörvard. Cunningly, she helped the king to win playing tafl. However, she also slew a courtier who tried to unsheathe Tyrfing after she had left it on a chair. Then, she resumed her Viking activities, and travelled far and wide.
After a while she grew tired of the adventures and returned to her foster-father Bjartmar. At Bjartmar's residence, she betook herself to sewing and embroidering like other girls, and was considered to be a beautiful and good-mannered girl. King Gudmund's son Höfund, then arrived to ask for her hand, and she said yes. The old king Gudmund arranged a grand wedding, and entrusted the kingdom in the hands of the young couple. They lived happily and had two sons who were given the names Angantyr and Heidrek. She eventually died in combat while fighting in a war of vengeance.
Parameters
Strength: C/B
Endurance: C/B
Agility: C/B
Mana: C
Luck: B
NP: A++
Class Skills:
Mad Enhancement (C+)
Rank up for all parameters except Luck and Mana, but in exchange one can no longer think and speak properly. Due to Berserker's excellent compatibility with this skill she can activate Mad Enhancement at will and deactivate it during moments of clarity.
Personal Skills:
Voyager of the Storm: C
Voyager of the Storm is the talent to impel a ship and those who the user identifies with. Because the ability as a group leader is also necessary, this unique Skill also have the effects of both Charisma and Military Tactics of the equivalent rank.
Seithr: B
Seithr is knowledge about this type of Magecraft that originated in northern Europe. At this rank one is considered a master of this style of Thaumaturgy and can achieve a wide variety of effects.
Bravery: A+++
Bravery is the ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination. Normally not usable under the effects of Mad Enhancement. At this Rank it has the bonus effect of increasing melee damage, granting complete immunity to curses from an outside source and make it possible to retain a modicum of self control and rational thinking even when under the effect of Mad Enhancement as.
Noble Phantasms:
Hervor's Curses: Compelling The Dead (B)
Type: Anti-Unit
An ability that embodies the incident where Hervor faced of against the ghosts of her father, her uncles, the illusionary flames that they conjured and responded by cursing and insulting them. It gives her the ability to create wraiths from the remnants of the dead and command them with her thoughts. These wraiths are too weak to pose a threat to even the very lowest of Heroic Spirits but possess powers of illusion and fear, they can create illusionary flames that inspires fear in those who look upon them and their screams can paralyze those with Magic Resistance, Mental Pollution, Vitrification or Bravery below C rank. Only those with A ranked Bravery are completely immune to the fear inducing powers of the wraiths, those who do not will at the very least become nervous when faced with them and will unconsciously flinch away from their flames.
In addition to that Hervor can obscure her identity and parameters by using one of the wraiths as a hooded cloak which completely covers her face in shadow, it prevents the use of a Master's clairvoyance since what they're actually looking at is a nameless wraith rather than Servant Berserker. Cloaking herself in wraiths also lets her make use of their abilities, her voice will inspire terror in her opponents, her screams can paralyze the unwary and she can create illusionary flames to coat her weapons with and set her eyes and throat ablaze to give herself a more terrifying appearance. The flames do not cause physical damage but instead burns the courage of those they touch. Servants with the Bravery, Vitrification or Mental Pollution skill will suffer from a temporary rank down in those skills if they are burned. The dread inducing powers of the wraiths affects enemies and allies alike, only someone truly fearless can use this Noble Phantasm in the same manner that Hervor does.
Tyrfing: The Sword Sheathed In Warm Blood (A++)
Type: Anti-Unit
A legendary sword from Norse mythology, it is both highly magical and supremely cursed. It was crafted by the Dwarves Dvalinn and Durin by the order of king Svafrlami who had captured them while they were outside their home. Its hilt is made of gold and shines and gleams like the sun, it is so masterfully crafted that it will never rust, it bears a strong enchantment that alters probability so that the wielder will never miss a strike with it and it can cut through D ranked Noble Phantasms as if they were made of mundane metals. To punish Svafrlami for forcing them to forge it Dvalinn and Durin placed a powerful curse on the blade which makes it so that it will always take a life whenever it is drawn. If there are no enemies nearby it will drive its wielder insane and force them to kill anyone nearby be it innocent bystanders, close friends, family members or even their loved ones. The compulsion to kill is impossible to resist and if there are no target nearby when the blade is drawn it will force its wielder to kill themselves instead. The curse has also caused the blades edges to become poisoned and a single scratch is enough to kill even a Heroic Spirit while a killing blow such as a strike to a vital organ or a beheading will kill even an immortal opponent by enforcing the concept of Mortality onto the target. This poisonous curse is fueled by the victims own magical power so the more powerful the enemy is the more difficult it becomes to resist the effect of the curse.
Once it has left its sheath the cost of keeping Berserker materialized is increased a tenfold for the duration of its use.
Weapons:
Spear
A masterfully crafted spear made by Völundr that can receive hits from high rank Noble Phantasms without worry but which lacks any special abilities, while its quality and endurance is great it will still be shattered if it is repeatedly struck by Prana Burst enhanced attacks. It is a projection made of prana and is therefore vulnerable against weapons that severs ties between prana such as Gáe Dearg. Berserker can inscribe runes on it to enhance its performance or to give it magical attributes.
Dagger
A masterfully crafted dagger that can receive hits from high rank Noble Phantasms without worry but which lacks any special abilities, while its quality and endurance is great it will still be shattered if it is repeatedly struck by Prana Burst enhanced attacks. It is a projection made of prana and is therefore vulnerable against weapons that severs ties between prana such as Gáe Dearg. Berserker can inscribe runes on it to enhance its performance or to give it magical attributes.
Shield
A masterfully crafted shield that can receive hits from high rank Noble Phantasms without worry but which lacks any special abilities, while its quality and endurance is great it will still be shattered if it is repeatedly struck by Prana Burst enhanced attacks. It is a projection made of prana and is therefore vulnerable against weapons that severs ties between prana such as Gáe Dearg. Berserker can inscribe runes on it to enhance its performance or to give it magical attributes.
Bow
A masterfully crafted bow that is equal to the average Archer class servants regular attacks bit which lacks any special abilities. It is a projection made of prana and is therefore vulnerable against weapons that severs ties between prana such as Gáe Dearg. Berserker can inscribe runes on it to enhance its performance or to give it magical attributes. All of Hervor's arrows have Rune Array inscribed on them.
Throwing Axes
Axes that were not crafted for chopping but rather for throwing, Berserker possesses three of these and needs to either retrieve them to reuse them or expend prana to recreate them. They are projections made of prana and are therefore vulnerable against weapons that severs ties between prana such as Gáe Dearg.
I submit Berserker Hervor. I didn't make her sheet.
Presenting: The Entire Goddamn Grail War in a single sheet.
And most of them are shoved down in a Equipment section to make the appearance of only having a few Phantasms.
Let's summarise:
-He has a bow equal to Archer class that he can arbitarially add magical effects onto. Archer confirmed.
-Shield that can tank high-rank Phantasms. Shielder confirmed.
-Spear he can also arbitarially assign effects to. Lancer confirmed.
-Magecraft skill on par with masters. Caster confirmed.
-Arbitary Voyager of the Storm. Rider confirmed.
-Special Snowflake Mad Enhancement that can be turned off at will.
-Bravery two entire goddamn +es above Hercules, of all people.
-NP #1 consists of zombies and a Cloak of Presence Concealment. Combined with the dagger, Assassin confirmed.
-NP #2 is a Sword of Lol, I Instakill Your Servant If I Hit Them, No Saves. Also doesn't gel with the Special Snowflake Mad Enhancement.
TLDR, I'm quoting TehChron: "Its also got all the same basic abilities as other classes, only TOTALLY BETTER!"
It's like people are forgetting that the Classes are supposed to cut off a lot of the stuff that doesn't fit the Class.
Bad sheet in a different way to the Rider one. Throwing in everything and the kitchen sink is not a good idea!
changed some stuff on that. if you could be specific about what to change to what that would be better.
I think this has been done before but...
Class: Caster
True Name: Louise Françoise le Blanc de La Vallière
Master:
Str: E
End: E
Agi: C
Pra: A
Luk: B
Class Skills:
Territory Creation: E
Item Construction: E
Personal Skills:
Bravery: B
Charisma: C
Divinity: D
Golden Rule: D
Magecraft: EX
Military Tactics: E
Pioneer of the Satrs: D
Saint: C
Noble Phantasm:
Void magic: C ~ A++
Through Void Magic Caster has obtained the first and second True Magics but it is unknown whether she has reached her full potential.
Founder's Prayer Book:
All Void spells are recorded with the Prayer book along with the theories behind Void magic and Brimir's will to his successors.
Note: True magics are things science can't do. There are five of them and the fourth is never mentioned. Reason for older Louise; shenanigans.
...Right, I'm getting deja vu.
I could've sworn I've torn apart this exact same sheet over on the SB Fictional Servant Thread.
I'll dig up the evidence later.
Class: Gandalfr
Alternate Classes: Saber, Berserker, Assassin, Monster
True Name: Shiki Ryougi
Master: Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière
Str: D+ (C+)
End: D (C)
Agi: C+ (B+)
Pra: D
Luk: E
Class Skills:
Left Hand of God: A+
Strength, Endurance, and Agility are increased by one rank while any weapon is held. Additionally, provides the benefits of rank B Eternal Arms Mastership, and allows all weapons to be used with the peternatural skill expected of a servant.
Guardian Knight: D
The Servant is particularly suited to defense. Whenever they are protecting their master, they gain a small boost to their defensive abilities. As Shiki Ryougi's abilities are not well suited to being a stalwart defender, this ability has been reduced to D rank.
Personal Skills:
Mystic Eyes of Death Perception: EX
Linked to Akasha, the 'origin of all things', Shiki Ryougi's eyes allow her to see the lines and points that mark the 'death' of objects, people, spells, and even concepts. A cut along any line will bifurcate the object, no matter the sharpness of cutting tool used, and ultimately destroy the object's origin, causing instant death. Her abilities extend to cutting things with no physical existence at all. However, if she cannot accurately strike the lines and points that her eyes see, such as if an opponent is significantly faster, then this ability fails to function.
Split Personality: X
During Shiki's life, the destructive, male split personality SHIKI was destroyed, and Shiki can no longer call upon him. There is a minute possibility of calling out a third personality, 「 」, however sustaining its presence may be beyond the Servant vessel Shiki is in.
Self-Hypnosis: D
Shiki is under a self-suggestion which heavily reinforces her physical and mental abilities when she is armed with a Japanese katana, granting her a "+" in the Strength and Agility Parameters when active.
Noble Phantasms:
Knife: X
Not a Noble Phantasm, or indeed enchanted at all, this simple straight edged knife has been used to kill more resilient beings than some of the highest ranked Noble Phantasms.
Kanesada Kuji: D
A mere Mystic Code in life, this katana has been elevated to the status of Noble Phantasm in Shiki's current state as a Servant. Possessing an anti-magic property, it destroys Bounded Fields with its mere presence, meaning it must be kept sheathed to prevent such a field's collapse.
Magical Prosthetic: E
Shiki's left arm was replaced with a magical prosthetic, which, in addition to being twice as strong as her original, is also significantly more durable, and allows her to affect intangible objects and spirits.
OP cleared up that they're counted as Servants, so I'm not protesting that.
-Going to point out that Gandalfr's boost, by canon, can only be used for a limited amount of time a day.
-The NP section seems to consist largely of stuff that reallly should be in a equipment list. Incidentally, if Ryougi's a Servant, she should already be able to affect intangible objects and spirits.
Better than the other sheets so far. Main concern here would be balance issues over instakills, and that's more the OP's domain.
Class: Assassin
True Name: Adam, The Progenitor
Master:
Str: C
End: C
Agi: B
Pra: D
Luk: D
Class Skills:
Presence Concealment: A---
Adam's ability to avoid detection is very high, sufficient to prevent detection by an otherwise Omniscient being for some time. However, in his legend, Adam was ultimately found by God, which led to all humanities downfall, and as such his ability massively drops when confronted by Divine Beings.
Personal Skills:
Divinity: C
Originally at a much higher rank, due to Adam's direct creation by God, his Divinity rank has decreased to this due to his disobedience and striking out against God.
True Name Discernment: A+
Adam was the one to name all the beasts in the Garden of Eden. At this level, status information including the true identity, legend, skills and parameters, and weaknesses are automatically revealed when directly encountering opponents. In combat, knowledge of the opponents tactics acts like Rank B Eye of the Mind (True).
Nature of a Rebellious Spirit: A
As one who disobeyed God, Adam can ignore the effects of Charisma of up to A rank, and even higher Charisma values have a reduced effect.
Expert of Many Specializations: A+
Noble Phantasm:
פרי אסור: The Primeval Sin: A+
The spiritual successor to the Gate of Babylon, which can manifest the conception of all human knowledge, the Forbidden Fruit of Paradise grants it's possessor knowledge of the truth of the world, but not the ability to shape it. Adam immediately recognizes any object, individual, or effect he sees, and can draw on all of humanities knowledge to resolve a problem or acquire information. Knowing "the truth," it is impossible to lie to him, or fool him with any illusion. Additionally, having been granted free will, Adam may resist any Divine mental compulsion without fail, and any other compulsion of A rank or lower. While this effect is active, Adam's actions cannot be predicted, granting him immunity from precognition or clairvoyance, and granting him the effects of Rank B Knowledge of Respect and Harmony.
גן עדן: Purest Expression of Paradise: X
The ancestor of Avalon, and the single most powerful defensive Noble Phantasm, the full power of the Supreme Gaian Reality Marble is brought to bear, keeping the holder of Eden not only safe, but ignorant that an attack occurred at all. Adam, and through him all of humanity, was cursed by God to never again feel Eden's bliss.
-Why the hell is Adam an Assassin? His son makes more sense, being rather famous for having killed someone.
-I recall God finding Adam within a verse in Genesis. Doubt the A-Rank Concealment is justified.
-Given it's justified by naming, shouldn't his True Name Discernment, y'know, only work on names?
-So apparently following your wife in something bad one time gets you top-notch Nature of a Rebellious Spirit.
-And what's the justification for Expert of Many Specialisations?
-You appear to be getting your temporal pronouns mixed up. Adam's supposed to be the First Man; then why is his NP the spiritual succesor to the Gate?
-It also seems to be "True Name Discernment, but better." Why couldn't this have been condensed into Skills?
-Avalon, but better. At least this is locked out.
Since you mentioned that Gil's allowed, I decided to go with one who might just match him.
Status:
Class: Archer.
Alternate Classes: Rider, Lancer.
True Name: Karna, son of the Sun God. The Eldest of the Pandavas. The Hero of Generosity.
Alignment: Lawful Good.
Parameters:
Strength: B. Bodily might in its rawest form. The rank stems from the tale of Karna having moved his brother Arjuna's Vimana, which carried the weight of the world, two paces back with a single hit, and he would have moved it further were it not for the god Krishna holding it in place.
Endurance: A. The punishment one can take before the body starts breaking down. In life, not only did Arjuna need to unleash his most powerful Astras in order to bring down his brother, even while armorless and chariotless, but he also needed Divine intervention in the form of three Curses that struck Karna at his most vulnerable, and even then, he had to employ an Astra to kill Karna.
Agility: A. General speed and reaction times. In his legend, Karna was able to keep up with his brother's Vimana, a chariot that 'moved at the speed of thought'.
Mana: B. Magic capacity and the skill to channel it. While necessary for his various Astras, Karna was never particularly interested in the craft, albeit it is boosted by his divine heritage.
Luck: D. Both the human's concept of luck and 'one's ability to go against Fate's decree'. Despite Karna's good fortune in some aspects, however, he fell prey to Fate and the machinations of the gods, hence his low rank.
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: C. One's ability to ignore spells that target oneself. At this rank, spells with an Aria below two lines will be cancelled, and the effects of higher-potency spells will be numbed. It should be noted that, while wearing Kavacha and Kundala, due to its effects, Karna's actual stat would be A++.
Independent Action: C+. Karna, while having completed monumental tasks by himself on many ocassions, always deferred to those he considered 'his lord', due to his view on loyalty being an absolute that no subordinate can challenge. He never questioned his superiors or the orders they gave, henceforth, his rank is the bare minimum for the Archer class. He can remain in the world for two days while masterless if he does not employ his Noble Phantasms. The plus signifies a rise due to his heritage, however: so long as he remains under the sunlight, his mana will slowly restore, although far more slowly than if he had an actual Master.
Personal Skills:
Discernment of the Poor: A. The ability to see through deception. At this rank, one cannot be deceived or misdirected by words, and can grasp the true nature of the opponent. Karna lived most of his life secluded from normal society, but he mastered the reading of the hearts of men and women to understand their intentions. It is a skill that allows him to see 'the true nature of people that should not be put into words', but, since he lacks most of the social skills to understand this, he ends up saying more than he should more often than many would like.
Prana Burst (Flames): A. The ability to empower oneself for brief periods by means of prana, raising physical stats. At this rank, all physical stats rise by one full rank. In addition, due to the Flame variation, Karna becomes covered by the fires of the Sun while this skill is in use.
Divinity: A. How close one is to the gods. Due to the fact that Karna became an aspect of Surya after his death, he posesses one of the highest ranks in this Skill. It allows him a greater defense when facing those who belong to the lineage of a Sun deity in the case their own Divinity rank is B or lower. It also allows him to slowly gain prana while in the sunlight and offers a slight reduction in Noble Phantasm cost.
Riding: A. The skill with mounts. At this rank, the Servant can expertly operate all manner of vehicles, but it does not allow one to ride Mythical Beasts.
Uncrowned Arms Mastery: -. A Skill gained only if one spent his life being underestimated by peers and enemies alike. Karna's stats, Skills and Noble Phantasms will appear a full rank lower than they actually are so long as the observer is unaware of his identity.
Projectiles (Arrows): A. While all of the Archer class Servants can be considered deadly at range in their own right, Karna elevated his archery to a level that trespassed into the domain of the gods. Better than even his brother Arjuna, whom even the gods acknowledged as amazing, Karna can strike any target so long as he can lift his bow and notch the arrow. Each arrow launched by him is an anti-tank round in its own right.
Clairvoyance: B. The Servant can keep track of any target, regardless of distance or speed, and has a form of 'precognition' that allows him to see where will his target be in the near furure by seconds. In life, Karna was able to keep track of, and hit, his brother's Vimana, which was said to move 'faster than thought'.
Noble Phantasms:
Kavacha and Kundala: O Surya, become armor (A+). A gift from his father, Surya, given to Karna at his mother's behest to protect him. His armor is a physical embodiment of the rays of the Sun itself, and his cape is weaved out of its flames. This present, while worn, grants Karna a protection that makes it so that he only suffers one-tenth of the attack's power before it even comes through, and negated the effects of 'sure kill' Noble Phantasms, which can be summarized as 'taking away all HP plus one' (An example of such a Phantasm would be Gáe Bolg, belonging to the Irish hero Cú Chulainn). In addition to this, the sheer defensive capabilities of the armor are similar and superior to those found in another golden armor belonging to a certain Heroic Spirit, who has noted his annoyance over this being 'one of the assets he lacks'. It is an Anti-Unit (Self) type of Phantasm.
Bhargavastra: O Parashurama, blot the sky (A+). A technique bestowed by Parashurama, an avatar of Vishnu, upon Karna after years of training. By launching a single projectile towards the sky, Karna can call forth a shower of arrows great enough that it single-handedly decimated an entire Pandava akshauhini (composed of a total of two hundred and fifty thousand soldiers). It is an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm.
Brahmastra: O Brahma, wrap the Earth (A+). The technique bestowed upon him by his teacher, Parashurama, one of the Brahmin. It is a forbidden skill used by invoking the name of Brahma, and it takes the form of a projectile that will surely strike the target. Its power varies depending on the number of targets, since the projectiles vary in numbers in relation to it, but it can range from Anti-Army to Anti-Country.
Brahmastra Kundala: O Brahma, curse me (A++). Not a 'true' Noble Phantasm by definition, but rather a skill developed through the combination of the Brahmastra and his Prana Burst of Flame Element. Wrapping the projectile in the fires of the Sun, Karna is able to greatly enhance its destructive power, to the point that the barrage of flames unleashed and their searing heat are enough to outright obliterate a country, earning it its Anti-Country designation. It can easily be compared to modern nuclear weapons in power.
Vasavi Shakti: O Sun, abide to death (EX). Karna's trump card. His greatest weapon, given to him by Indra in return for his armor, for he felt that Karna's posture when giving away his father's gift was much too noble to go unrewarded. This Noble Phantasm takes the form of an all-or-nothing attack gained by sacrificing Kavacha and Kundala. Karna loses his armor, but in return he gains a Noble Phantasm capable of killing anything it hits, albeit he only has one shot. Its clasification is Anti-Divinity, but the true extent of its power as 'the mightiest weapon in the universe' makes it clear that it is because Gods can be slain in a single hit by it.
Vijaya: O Shiva, hunt thy enemy (B~~A+). The bow of Lord Shiva, it is a fine and glorious bow that Karna keeps wreathed in flames using his Prana Burst skill, in order to protect his identity. Application of his Combat Astras to the arrows fired by Vijaya can change their properties greatly, going from normal arrows (by Servant standards) to A+ ranked blasts of hyperconcentrated sunlight. In addition to this, any and all arrows fired from the bow gain, in a minor form, the concept of 'Pursuit', granting a slight degree of homing capacity.
Since I felt Type-Moon didn't give him a good showing, I decided to scourge the Mahabharata myself to get a feel for his legend and feats. While his stats should be incredibly good (matching a Berserker Hercules, at least), I felt the need to lower them due to the nature of the Servant containers. He is still stronger than his Lancer counterpart, though. Which makes sense, given that most of his legend centers in Archery, not melee, so the Servant container can accomodate more of the real Heroic Spirit.
As a side note: Indian heroes are HAX given form. And Archer still has the honor of being the class with the most ridiculously broken Servants.
I see quite a lot of skill/Phantasm Bloat there.
-Riding can probably be cut out due to Class shoving, and either Projectiles(Arrow) or Clairovoyance really should be folded into the other, given the current Skill Bloat.
-Six Phantasms. Six. The most we get in canon is Rider Perseus's five, and even then he's got a limit of "One at a time". This is what's known as Phantasm Bloat.
-Damnit, why can noone comprehend that stuff gets cut off between Servant Containers!
-To sum up the Phantasms: He lolnopes all attacks to a tenth of their power. He can wipe out armies in a rain of arrows. He's guaranteed to hit the opponent with the assorted bullshit. He can spam a nukearrow given enough energy. He has a oneshot "Kill everything" option. And any shot from him hits like a tank.
There is a reason why Gilgamesh isn't supposed to be the standard for scaling Servants.
Undefeated of the East: The Warrior Who Surpasses Death Itself (B):
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
The title that Honda Tadakatsu was given in life due to his feat of having never received a single wound over his 100 battles. This feat made him known as the greatest samurai of the East, and became the basis for his title "The Warrior Who Surpasses Death Itself".
The Noble Phantasm is a an enchantment that nullifies all physical and magical attacks B Rank and below. Only A Rank attacks can harm him, and said attacks are reduced by the Rank of this NP.
The most powerful ability, however, is a single use skill. Once activated, it allows Honda to stave off Death, removing all damage from him and giving him the Battle Continuation skill (B) on top of it's other abilities until either opponent dies. This ability can last an entire day non-stop. Once it expires, however, it cannot be used again.
Tonbo-giri: The Dragonfly Cutter (A+):
Type: Anti Unit
The legendary spear of Honda Tadakatsu and his main weapon. Forged by the legendary blacksmith Masazan Fujiwara, the spear was said to have been so sharp, a dragonfly cut itself in half simply by resting on its blade. This tale lead to it becoming one of the Three Legendary Spears of Japan.
Any physical blows dealt by the spear is treated as A Rank regardless of the current Strength of it's user. It also has the concept of cutting. With this concept of slicing, anything and everything the spear slashes will be cut without prejudice. This can include any below A Rank Noble Phantasm that comes in contact with it.
Compared to most of the previous, this is good in the fact it doesn't give me instant headaches.
Undefeated of the East is essentially Discount God Hand, which is rather unoriginal.
And apparently the spear's a Phantasmbreaker. Not entirely sure how "Cutting resting insects in half" justifies that.
Still better than most of the other sheets here, though. Though that may be faint praise.
Isn't that Hervor one the really overpowered one, too much so for her legend and fame that was suggested in the Fate/Counter Force quest? Actually, aren't most of these Servants kind of world-breaking? I mean, Karna is canon, but still. Shiki is, while still overpowered, the only one I can see that isn't completely over-the-top.
Thank the gods, somebody with sanity.
And yes, Shiki is the best of the bunch, with Honda dragging up second.
To round off my explaining how these Servants are Not Good, I'm going to quote a decent sheet as an example:
Parameters
STR: D, END: D, AGI: D
MAG: E, LUK: A, PHA: B
Class Skills Riding B : Rather than animals, this Skill represents familiarity with vehicles of all sorts. It is insufficient to handle a phantasmal beast, so Rider is fortunate in his lack of a "mount".
Magic Resistance E : As a man of the modern era, Rider's weak Magic Resistance stems purely from the prana-blunting influence of the void beyond the World.
Personal Skills Pioneer of the Stars EX : A Skill exclusive to heroes who became turning points in the development of humanity. It effectively provides a Luck bonus that scales with the difficulty of the Servant's goals - even the most impossible voyage becomes something that just might be completed. Rider carries with him the hopes and nightmares of half a million years worth of humans, gazing up at the night sky.
Colonial Spirit B : This Skill grants a Servant dominion over the mysteries of a land they conquered in life. Rider ranks up his traits twice when opposing mysteries related to the moon. This includes Dead Apostles, silver weapons, most werebeasts, and so on.
Expert of Many Specializations C : As the man who carried humanity beyond its cradle, Rider can compound his broad training with traces of all the knowledge that was piled up to fuel his ascent. This offers the equivalent of Rank D for all related knowledge Skills - science, engineering, astronomy, military skills, physical training, speech-writing, etc. He is the entire mission that brought him fame, embodied.
Noble Phantasm Phoebus Lambda - One Small Step For a Man : C
This is the most basic state of Rider's Noble Phantasm - a suit of full white armour with a curious helmet. It offers only weak physical protection, but immunizes the wearer against all heat, cold and pressure, having been tempered in the emptiness beyond Gaia. It also offers an endless air supply, though this is irrelevant for a spirit. Its true power is enhancing Rider's movement - bursts of white flame jet from its joints and limbs, allowing him to propel himself through the air with a top speed comparable to a winged mythical beast - though his speed depends on the prana available to him. With a truly prodigious supply, he could even use these jets to mimic Prana Burst D in close combat.
Aegletes Lamda - One Giant Leap For Mankind : B (EX)
Invoking the true form of his Noble Phantasm, Rider's armour unfolds and transforms into a great white spear capable of piercing the heavens. This is his mount and armour and body all in one - he exists as part of the celestial engine. While this form offers him greater protection, it is still comparatively fragile - its true benefit is speed. His acceleration and top speed are exponentially increased, while his maneuverability is maintained. He also gains the ability to pierce any conceptual barriers with physical force - including the borders of Reality Marbles.
The prana cost of this form means it is most easily used for a single powerful charge - but unlike most Servant mounts, it cannot be simply dematerialized once unveiled. The light of humanity is costly indeed - it falls apart into motes of flame once Rider ends its use. Normally, this would prevent it from being used again, but special circumstances - or prana reserves on the level of an Einzbern homunculus - would allow Rider to reconstruct it.
The hidden EX ranking of this Noble Phantasm indicates its true nature - it is a Reality Marble that Rider is unaware of, and cannot fully grasp as a hero for the Age of Machines. All of the Phantasm's "powers" are in truth lesser aspects of this Reality Marble - the increased speed is a result of gravity-manipulation, while the barrier-piercing is part of its nature as a rival World. As an aside, the Marble itself is nigh-identical to the dead World of the Moon.
Go ahead, man. Do note that he's pretty weak. As a Modern Hero his Parameters are sub-par, even when I assumed that being an astronaut in the Nasuverse must mean you're a peak-human badass on a par with an Executor.
His access to knowledge-Skills is only situationally useful, especially given he's not an actual expert to the degree of the Hundred-Faced Hassan, and all supernatural topics are naturally banned. That Skill might even make it slightly difficult for him to intuit supernatural effects. His Luck-boosting Skill is high rank, sure, but it's only something that gives you a chance in an absurdly unlevel playing field - you can't rely on it, that's the nature of Luck. His moon-punching Skill is similarly situational - though admittedly, it'd boost him against two of the Servants in Fate/Extra.
His Noble Phantasm is cool, but amounts to a shitty Rider mount, with its advantages being, again, largely situational - outside of a few specific circumstances, neither of its forms compare well to Bellephoron, Gordius Wheel, or Golden Hind, and its power-form is a one-shot weapon unless you take him up on the plot hook of finding a massive prana supply/the right circumstances to rebuild it.
The RP in question is an Extra-based one.
Which means it takes place in the Moon Cell, on the Moon, granting Rider a lot more opportunities to rigger Colonial Spirit.
(He can also actually bust out of the Moon Cell.)
Aha! I see you are keeping to a true tradition of Fate/Stay Night:
1: The enemy you're facing is mediocre, except in a specific rare circumstance in which they are terrifying.
2: You're facing them in that specific circumstance.
That is pretty much the ideal aim for designing a Servant, really. It's totally blatant here, but the more little hooks you add on to a write-up the better, because they shape the story.
Pioneer of the Stars pretty much guarantees the Servant team will be put in an impossible situation and escape because it was impossible. Colonial Spirit ensures that at some point someone will invoke Artemis in a spell or there'll be a vampire Master or a Heroic Spirit who became a moon god or whatever. Aegletes Lambda can pierce through World-barriers, so it will be used for that at some point. Phoebus Lambda is immune to heat, cold and pressure, so you better bet those will come up at some point. Hell, the only reason it mentions it has an supply of air is because this means Rider's Master will be submerged or tossed into space or dumped into lava or whatever, and Rider will give up his Noble Phantasm to preserve them while he dies (which wouldn't normally work but heroic willpower blah blah Nasuverse).
These are all advantages, but the same applies to disadvantages - perhaps moreso, even.
This is why Rider here is an interesting Servant, visuals aside - because his write-up makes readers think "how would I use/counter this guy" - and implicitly "how would this guy behave in a Grail War" - rather than "oh, he's got rank A+ in everything, how super cool daddio".
Isn't that Hervor one the really overpowered one, too much so for her legend and fame that was suggested in the Fate/Counter Force quest? Actually, aren't most of these Servants kind of world-breaking? I mean, Karna is canon, but still. Shiki is, while still overpowered, the only one I can see that isn't completely over-the-top.
Well the size of the area they are fighting in is different. Normally the grail war was confined to a city in japan. Now they are fighting in at least four or five countries that are based off of major European countries. I expect countries to fall in this war. In some cases more literally that others.
Well the size of the area they are fighting in is different. Normally the grail war was confined to a city in japan. Now they are fighting in at least four or five countries that are based off of major European countries. I expect countries to fall in this war. In some cases more literally that others.
First, Hervor is female. Secondly, that is more a heroic spirit stat sheet I googled up. The whole berserker thing is justified as having actually learned berserkergang in life.
-And here we have our first case of "Goddamnit, stop misusing EX". Prana is, essentially, the energy reserves; it's not strictly stamina. Your justification for EX Mana would work better if you were trying to justify ridiculously high Independent Action, not Mana.
I think riding forever justifies it. But it doesn't make a difference since the summoner has to pay the toll which is the weakness of the rider class as they have one really power showing then the summoner can't keep up.
-PotFae is a blessing from faeries. Like this guy appears to be. This would be served a lot better by uoranking Divinity rather than shoehirning anither EX in.
-And now, to the Phantasm. First up, it's badly worded and hard to understand. Next up, it seems to contradict the myth it's from; people who run into the Hunt in the myth are ounished if they stand against it and get a cursed item if they help. And worst of all, it's a generic "Summon Army" Phantasm with some attempted "kill everything" notes.
I was think more like Gate of Babylon rather than Summon Army. Search Åsgårdsreien (1872) by Peter Nicolai Arbo.
from wiki
The fundamental premise in all instances is the same: a phantasmal, spectral group of huntsmen with the accoutrements of hunting, with horses and hounds in mad pursuit across the skies or along the ground, or just above it.
The hunter may be an unidentified lost soul, a deity or spirit of either gender, or may be a historical or legendary figure like Theodoric the Great, the Danish king Valdemar Atterdag, the Welsh psychopomp Gwyn ap Nudd or the Germanic Woden.
a number of figures that had been recorded as leading the hunt.
under the influence of Christianisation, the story was converted from being that of a "solemn march of gods" to being "a pack of horrid spectres, dashed with dark and devilish ingredients".
If the prey is mentioned, it is most often a young woman, either guilty or innocent. The majority of the tales deal with some person encountering the Wild Hunt. If this person stands up against the hunters, he will be punished. If he helps the hunt, he will be awarded money, gold or, most often, a leg of a slain animal or human, which is often cursed in a way that makes it impossible to be rid of it. In this case, the person has to find a priest or magician able to ban it, or trick the Wild Hunt into taking the leg back by asking for salt, which the hunt can not deliver.
When Odin's hunt was heard, it meant changing weather in many regions, but it could also mean war and unrest.
It has been said that Odin was a nobleman or even a king who had hunted during the Sundays and therefore was doomed to hunt down and kill supernatural beings until the end of time.
In parts of Småland, it appears that people believed that Odin hunted with large birds when the dogs got tired. When it was needed, he could transform a bevy of sparrows into an armed host.
King Herla is a modernisation of the Old English form Herla cyning, a figure that usually is said to be Woden in his guise as leader of the Germanic Wild Hunt and thus the name is thought to be related to the French Harlequin, the leader of the Wild Hunt in Old French tradition. The same figure in Germanic paganism was described first by Tacitus in terms of the Harii who fought at night taking the appearance of an army of ghosts. The later Germanic tribe of the Heruli are also related to Herla.
Also, King Herla possibly is related to the German Erlkönig
The name Harlequin is taken from that of a mischievous "devil" or "demon" character in popular French passion plays. It originates with an Old French term herlequin, hellequin, first attested in the 11th century, by the chronist Orderic Vitalis, who recounts a story of a monk who was pursued by a troop of demons when wandering on the coast of Normandy at night. These demons were led by a masked, club-wielding giant and they were known as familia herlequin (var. familia herlethingi). This medieval French version of the Germanic Wild Hunt, Mesnée d'Hellequin, has been connected to the English figure of Herla cyning ("host-king"; German Erlkönig). Hellequin was depicted a black-faced emissary of the devil, roaming the countryside with a group of demons chasing the damned souls of evil people to Hell.
Erlking (from Elf-king or Herla-king; German: Erlkönig, literally Elder-king) is a name from Danish and German folklore for the figure of a spirit or "king of the fairies".
Alternatively, the term may derive not from "elf-king" but from the name of Herla king, a figure in medieval English folklore, adapted as Herlequin, Hellequin in medieval French, in origin the leader of the Wild Hunt, in French known as maisnie Hellequin "household of Hellequin" (and as such ultimately identical with Woden), but re-cast as a generic "devil" in the course of the Middle Ages (and incidentally, in the 16th century also the origin of the Harlequin character). Sometimes also associated is the character of Herrequin, a 9th-century count of Boulogne of proverbial wickedness
Alichino is one of the devils in the Inferno of Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy. Alichino is a member of the Malebranche, whose mission is to guard Bolgia Five in the Eighth Circle, the Malebolge. Alichino's name is commonly regarded as a garbled version of the Italian word for harlequin.
Hunting grounds for the Cŵn Annwn are said to include the mountain of Cadair Idris, where it is believed "the howling of these huge dogs foretold death to anyone who heard them"
According to Welsh folklore, their growling is loudest when they are at a distance, and as they draw nearer, it grows softer and softer. Their coming is generally seen as a death portent.
The Cŵn Annwn are associated with the Wild Hunt. They are supposed to hunt on specific nights (the eves of St. John, St. Martin, Saint Michael the Archangel, All Saints, Christmas, New Year, Saint Agnes, Saint David, and Good Friday), or just in the autumn and winter. Some say Arawn only hunts from Christmas to Twelfth Night. The Cŵn Annwn also came to be regarded as the escorts of souls on their journey to the Otherworld.
A Cŵn Annwn's goal in the Wild Hunt is to hunt wrongdoers into the ground until they can run no longer, just as the criminals did to their victims.Grimm's methodological approach was rooted in the idea – common in nineteenth-century Europe – that modern folklore represented a fossilized survival of the beliefs of the distant past. As such, in developing his idea of the Wild Hunt, he mixed together recent folkloric sources with textual evidence dating to the Medieval and Early Modern periods.
Herla can be connected to Erlking which can be connected to Alichino (devil), Alberich, Oberon, Elegast, and Woden. The "true" background should be up to the writer. I was making this Rider off of the wild hunt and not Herla as the Wild Hunt is more famous in my opinion.
...Right, I'm getting deja vu.
I could've sworn I've torn apart this exact same sheet over on the SB Fictional Servant Thread.
I'll dig up the evidence later.
-Going to point out that Gandalfr's boost, by canon, can only be used for a limited amount of time a day.
-The NP section seems to consist largely of stuff that reallly should be in a equipment list. Incidentally, if Ryougi's a Servant, she should already be able to affect intangible objects and spirits.
Better than the other sheets so far. Main concern here would be balance issues over instakills, and that's more the OP's domain.
I've never gotten into FoZ, so I'll take your word on the Gandalfr boost. What's the limit per day? As for NPs, on consideration, the arm shouldn't be a Noble Phantasm - it doesn't even have a name. The knife is pretty emblematic, though - she uses it more than any other weapon. Just list them both as equipment, I guess? Or would the knife have become part of her legend and become a NP? I'm also unsure about the self-hypnosis boost - a boost to STR and AGI is a bit much for a D rank skill, so I'll probably either up the skill ranking (C or B?) or lower the boost.
As for Adam's sheet, I don't particularly like the idea of him as a Servant at all, and if he's anything he'd be, I dunno, Caster or something. I was just trying to clean up an "Adam as Assassin" concept from earlier in the thread.
I think riding forever justifies it. But it doesn't make a difference since the summoner has to pay the toll which is the weakness of the rider class as they have one really power showing then the summoner can't keep up.
Isn't there literally a canon servant that has an NP that turns every weapon he picks up into an NP? Yours seems to just be a Rider equivalent to "Knight of Honor", though "Riding Forever" seems to be limited to causing only one effect. For reference, "Knight of Honor" is A++ rank. I'm not seeing anything that would make it EX rank.
And here's the "logic" I was talking about. Most Assassins are Hassan-I-Sabbah's, but the ones that are not are completely unrelated to them.
Your justification of Adam being an Assassin when he's not known for killing someone is, to be frank, stupid. Why would being related to someone let you qualify for a Class when you don't have the skills?
-Riding can probably be cut out due to Class shoving, and either Projectiles(Arrow) or Clairovoyance really should be folded into the other, given the current Skill Bloat.
-Six Phantasms. Six. The most we get in canon is Rider Perseus's five, and even then he's got a limit of "One at a time". This is what's known as Phantasm Bloat.
-Damnit, why can noone comprehend that stuff gets cut off between Servant Containers!
-To sum up the Phantasms: He lolnopes all attacks to a tenth of their power. He can wipe out armies in a rain of arrows. He's guaranteed to hit the opponent with the assorted bullshit. He can spam a nukearrow given enough energy. He has a oneshot "Kill everything" option. And any shot from him hits like a tank.
There is a reason why Gilgamesh isn't supposed to be the standard for scaling Servants.
Righto. Thanks, I have been looking for literally any sort of feedback on him since forever. I put it up in the (historical/modify existing ones) Servant Creation thread over at SB, but no one tore it apart. So, thanks. I really need second opinions. One of the reasons I put it up, to be honest.
When I put it, I didn't really know what to do about the stats. i have since reviewed a few things and come to a conclusion, though. What do you think about:
Strength: C
Endurance: C (a moot point, given K&K)
Agility: B
Mana: C
Luck: D
Alright. Onto the Skills:
Yep. Cutting out some of them seems reasonable, given the sort of BS he gets up to already. Divinity pretty much needs to stay due to who he is, so that's a no go. Vijaya already gives arrows the concept of pursuit (not at a BS. Level. It just makes them veer off course and follow the target so long as it is not too sharp a turn) so, dropping Projectiles and keeping Clairvoyance.
Riding can go, as well, although it is a canon Personal Skill, so I wasn't too sure about cutting it off. So, thanks for that pointer. So will the Combat Astras due to something I have planned.
Given the Servant container... What would you think about lowering the rank of Prana Burst to C/B?
The NPs... Hm... Given their nature, as well as Bhargavastra, an argument could be made to drop Brahmastra and Brahmastra Kundala in favor of it, as well as imposing a limit to its use (for example, sucks up so much prana/willpower that, unless the Master is Hax him/herself, they will die if he uses it)
And Vijaya could stay at C/B rank, with the arrows still having 'slight' homing capabilities, but using Prana Burst, he can wrap them on fire with Prana Burst, thus increasing the power.
As for the 'Gilgamesh shouldn't be used as a standard for Servant scaling'... Well, no excuse other than Hindu heroes do merit that much power, and the Mahābhārata is among the oldest.
'The most we get is canon Perseus with five and even he is limited to one at a time'.
First, Hervor is female. Secondly, that is more a heroic spirit stat sheet I googled up. The whole berserker thing is justified as having actually learned berserkergang in life.
By the way, what is this thread even for? It's in User Fiction, but it looks like an RP application. Is it just to fill out characters in something the OP is writing?
I'll pribably get to argiung the rest later, but there's a particular piece of Insane Troll Logic that I want to demolish now:
And here's the "logic" I was talking about. Most Assassins are Hassan-I-Sabbah's, but the ones that are not are completely unrelated to them.
Your justification of Adam being an Assassin when he's not known for killing someone is, to be frank, stupid. Why would being related to someone let you qualify for a Class when you don't have the skills?
Well he's not really fit for being a saber, lancer, archer, or berserker. Caster and rider one could bring up points for do to things he did in Eden and his relation to Eden respectively.
I didn't know you had to be famous for killing someone to be an assassin and I think a better assassin would not be known for killing as that would mean they got away. But on the topic of skills, where did Adam learn how to survive out side of Eden? My answer would be the tree of knowledge as right after he makes cloths, gets shelter, raises a family, etc. But why would knowing those things get one kicked out of Eden? He got more knowledge than just how to take care of himself.
Well he's not really fit for being a saber, lancer, archer, or berserker. Caster and rider one could bring up points for do to things he did in Eden and his relation to Eden respectively.
I didn't know you had to be famous for killing someone to be an assassin and I think a better assassin would not be known for killing as that would mean they got away. But on the topic of skills, where did Adam learn how to survive out side of Eden? My answer would be the tree of knowledge as right after he makes cloths, gets shelter, raises a family, etc. But why would knowing those things get one kicked out of Eden? He got more knowledge than just how to take care of himself.
In addition to this, I believe the Bible also provides plausible counterevidence agaunst Adam qualifying for Assassin: Cain, the First Murderer.
Wouldn't Adam be proclaimed the First Murderer if he'd killed someone? Moresoever, wouldn't any hypothetical "killing someone" target be entirely composed of his own close descendants?
Assassin is, in fact, one of the classes Adam in no way qualifies for!
Well he's not really fit for being a saber, lancer, archer, or berserker. Caster and rider one could bring up points for do to things he did in Eden and his relation to Eden respectively.
I didn't know you had to be famous for killing someone to be an assassin and I think a better assassin would not be known for killing as that would mean they got away. But on the topic of skills, where did Adam learn how to survive out side of Eden? My answer would be the tree of knowledge as right after he makes cloths, gets shelter, raises a family, etc. But why would knowing those things get one kicked out of Eden? He got more knowledge than just how to take care of himself.
Why would he be an assassin at all, though? A Caster, I could understand, even if all the EX ranked stuff is just terrible. The whole tree of knowledge thing even goes with it.
Even your sheet reflects that fact that he's not an assassin with your token presence concealment, and the rest of his skills and NPs having nothing to do with the class. Is there anything that qualifies him for the Assassin class, at all? Is he known for killing anyone, or even being sneaky? I don't think so.
Isn't there literally a canon servant that has an NP that turns every weapon he picks up into an NP? Yours seems to just be a Rider equivalent to "Knight of Honor", though "Riding Forever" seems to be limited to causing only one effect. For reference, "Knight of Honor" is A++ rank. I'm not seeing anything that would make it EX rank.
"Once Berserker grabs hold of anything that can be even remotely conceptualized as a weapon by his own recognition with his gauntlets and he recognizes that he wishes to wield it, it instantly gains the property of "becoming his Noble Phantasm."" and "The items will be advanced to D rank Noble Phantasms, and if he takes another Servant's Noble Phantasm of a superior rank, its quality will be maintained while under Berserker's control."
Similar but different as knight of honor is a NP rather than a skill.
"Riding (騎乗, Kijō?, localized as Dragoon) is expertise to ride animals and vehicles.[1]
EX: Violet Can ride anything. Rather, just assimilates it.
A+: Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.
A: All creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts. This rank is high enough to have aptitude for the Rider Class.
B: Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts."
EX riding just means he can ride anything. Sorry if I confused anything. Prana EX has one example of being used by a caster that could turn people into their ideal self. There are five servants with EX NP's (Gilgamesh, Ramesses II, Karna, Meltlilith, and Nursery Rhyme) Wild Hunt would be most similar to Ramesses II's Ramesseum Tentyris which summons Phantasmal Beasts.
edit:
Because someone (@TehChron) wanted me to mention Alexander the Great's NP. According to these parameters his NP is ranked A++. But! Ionioi Hetairoi is ranked EX. So if you care you can put him in the list I made up there however that does not make anything I stated previously less true.
There are five servants with EX NP's (Gilgamesh, Ramesses II, Karna, Meltlilith, and Nursery Rhyme) Wild Hunt would be most similar to Ramesses II's Ramesseum Tentyris which summons Phantasmal Beasts.
"They are on a higher scale than regular attacks, with a Noble Phantasm of C rank being the equivalent of an A+ or A rank regular attack. A++ and EX rank Noble Phantasms are said to be a mystery on the level of Divine Spirits." http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Rank
I'm talking about many things but people keep using unclear references to things I've said and expect me to know what they're talking about so I ask of you to tell me then what you think it is that I speak of and what it is to be researched. When I ask for clarity should I be superfluous and redundant so that all that read my most recent excerpt understand or should I leave it brief to allow others to spend more time on their thoughts then my written words.
I am starting to wonder if I am being trolled but I don't think so.
I'm talking about many things but people keep using unclear references to things I've said and expect me to know what they're talking about so I ask of you to tell me then what you think it is that I speak of and what it is to be researched. When I ask for clarity should I be superfluous and redundant so that all that read my most recent excerpt understand or should I leave it brief to allow others to spend more time on their thoughts then my written words.
I am starting to wonder if I am being trolled but I don't think so.
More like you're just being so bad at things which should be obvious that it's become apparent that a proper lecture would take more time than I want to be bothered with
First of all, if your post has nothing constructive to say, don't make it. I'm not any kind of expert on Nasu lore or servants, but as a guideline, I figured a given servant should only have at most one EX rank on their sheet total. So... let's dig into this.
So, let's see what we're working with.
Herla King's Legend said:
Herla, a king of the Britons, meets with an unnamed dwarven king with a great, red beard and goat's hooves, who is mounted on a goat. They make a pact: if the latter attends Herla's wedding, Herla will reciprocate precisely one year later.
On the day of Herla's marriage, the dwarf king attends with a vast host, bringing gifts and provisions. The dwarf king's followers attend to the wedding guests so efficiently that Herla's own preparations are left untouched. The otherworldly king then reminds Herla of his promise, and departs.
A year later, the dwarf king sends for Herla, who summons his companions and selects gifts to take to the dwarf king's wedding. The party enters an opening in a high cliff, passes through darkness, and then enters a realm seemingly lit by lamps.
After the wedding ceremony, which lasted for three days in the dwarf king's realm, was over, Herla prepares to depart. The dwarf gives him hunting animals and other gifts; in particular, he presents Herla with a small bloodhound, advising him that no man should dismount his horse before the dog leaps down.
After Herla and his band return to the human realm, they encounter an elderly shepherd, whom Herla asks for news of his queen. The old man, astonished, replies, "I can barely understand your speech, for I am a Saxon and you are a Briton." The elderly shepherd described a legend of a very ancient queen of the Britons bearing the name mentioned, the wife of King Herla, who had disappeared with a dwarf king into that very cliff and was never seen again. The shepherd also added that currently the Saxons had been in possession of the kingdom for the last two hundred years, and had driven out the native Britons.
Herla, who thought he had been away for just three days, is so amazed he barely could stay in the saddle. Some of his men jump down from their horses, only to crumble quickly into dust. Herla warns his remaining companions not to dismount until the dog alights, but the dog, Map says wryly, has not yet alighted, and Herla and his host have become eternal wanderers.
Map notes, however, that some say Herla's band plunged into the River Wye during the first year of the reign of King Henry II (the year 1133), and has never been seen since.
Okay. His legend stems from the 12th Century, and he supposedly was around in the 10th century - around the time that legends of King Arthur were created, and well after King Arthur's supposed reign. In Nasu terms, he came after the Age of Gods had ended in England. Further, both his historical weight and the propagation of his legend are smaller, and Saber is regarded as a more powerful class, so Arturia should represent an absolute upper bound on his power, and he should ideally be notably weaker than her.
Now, let's look at the Wyld Hunt.
Wikipedia said:
The Wild Hunt is an ancient folk myth prevalent across Northern, Western and Central Europe.[1] The fundamental premise in all instances is the same: a phantasmal, spectral group of huntsmen with the accoutrements of hunting, with horses and hounds in mad pursuit across the skies or along the ground, or just above it.[2]
The hunters may be the dead or fairies (often in folklore connected with the dead).[3] The hunter may be an unidentified lost soul, a deity or spirit of either gender, or may be a historical or legendary figure like Theodoric the Great, the Danish king Valdemar Atterdag, the WelshpsychopompGwyn ap Nudd or the Germanic Woden[1] (or other reflections of the same god, such as AlemannicWuodan in Wuotis Heer ("Wuodan's Army") of Central Switzerland, Swabia etc.).
Okay, so right off the bat, I get the impression that the Wild Hunt is going to be something like Ionioi Hetairoi, except weaker, since it's younger. If it's going to be a Reality Marble, though, it would probably be a good idea to link it to the time dilation he went through when leaving the Dwarf Kings lair. Have it so time passes 10 times as fast (or some other variable) in the Marble as outside of it, and have it contain a bunch of fey beasts.
wikipedia said:
Reliable witnesses were said to have given the number of huntsmen as twenty or thirty, and it is said, in effect, that this went on for nine weeks, ending at Easter.[21]Orderic Vitalis (1075–c. 1142), an English monk cloistered at St Evroul-en-Ouche, in Normandy, reported a similar cavalcade seen in January 1091, which he said were "Herlechin's troop" (familia Herlechini; cf. Harlequin).[22]
20 or 30 hunters vaugly on par with a weak Heroic Spirit, along with their mounts and hounds, seems about right compared to Alexander's Army.
So, as a first pass character sheet, something like:
Str: C
End: B
Agi: C
Pra: B
Luk: E
High endurance and prana, since he "rides forever". Low on the other stats, because they're not part of the legend. Terrible luck, because he had terrible luck.
Class Skills:
Riding: A
The rank needed to mount fey beasts, but not on the same level as Rider and her Pegasus.
Personal Skills:
Charisma: B
Portents of Doom: A - Lowers opponent's luck by up to two ranks, until it matches his.
He is a king, so Charisma is fine. His general luck is terrible, and the Wild Hunt is said to bring catastrophe and doom when seen, so I figured a skill to connect the two ideas was a neat idea.
Noble Phantasm:
The Wild Hunt: Anti-Army: A - Reality Marble, can summon forth his companions (~20, mana cost scales with number) , each of which has a horse and fey hound. When the Reality Marble is deployed, time passes 10 times as quickly inside as outside. Whenever a member of the Wild hunt is killed, they are permanently gone. Whenever someone is killed by members of the wild hunt, they join its ranks, at reduced effectiveness if they're a servant.
The time dilation could be a plot point, and if his master demands if (with CS), he could go on a killing spree of civilians to get a bunch of cannon fodder for others to wade through.
Again, I'm no expert, but this is a rough idea of how I'd approach something like this.
Telling him that his research was incomplete when he listed Ramses as someone on a list of Servants with EX NPs while neglecting Ishkander is plenty constructive
It means I'm telling him he didn't do enough research to justify his argument
First of all, if your post has nothing constructive to say, don't make it. I'm not any kind of expert on Nasu lore or servants, but as a guideline, I figured a given servant should only have at most one EX rank on their sheet total. So... let's dig into this.
So, let's see what we're working with.
Okay. His legend stems from the 12th Century, and he supposedly was around in the 10th century - around the time that legends of King Arthur were created, and well after King Arthur's supposed reign. In Nasu terms, he came after the Age of Gods had ended in England. Further, both his historical weight and the propagation of his legend are smaller, and Saber is regarded as a more powerful class, so Arturia should represent an absolute upper bound on his power, and he should ideally be notably weaker than her.
Now, let's look at the Wyld Hunt.
Okay, so right off the bat, I get the impression that the Wild Hunt is going to be something like Ionioi Hetairoi, except weaker, since it's younger. If it's going to be a Reality Marble, though, it would probably be a good idea to link it to the time dilation he went through when leaving the Dwarf Kings lair. Have it so time passes 10 times as fast (or some other variable) in the Marble as outside of it, and have it contain a bunch of fey beasts.
20 or 30 hunters vaugly on par with a weak Heroic Spirit, along with their mounts and hounds, seems about right compared to Alexander's Army.
So, as a first pass character sheet, something like:
Str: C
End: B
Agi: C
Pra: B
Luk: E
High endurance and prana, since he "rides forever". Low on the other stats, because they're not part of the legend. Terrible luck, because he had terrible luck.
Class Skills:
Riding: A
The rank needed to mount fey beasts, but not on the same level as Rider and her Pegasus.
Personal Skills:
Charisma: B
Portents of Doom: A - Lowers opponent's luck by up to two ranks, until it matches his.
He is a king, so Charisma is fine. His general luck is terrible, and the Wild Hunt is said to bring catastrophe and doom when seen, so I figured a skill to connect the two ideas was a neat idea.
Noble Phantasm:
The Wild Hunt: Anti-Army: A - Reality Marble, can summon forth his companions (~20, mana cost scales with number) , each of which has a horse and fey hound. When the Reality Marble is deployed, time passes 10 times as quickly inside as outside. Whenever a member of the Wild hunt is killed, they are permanently gone. Whenever someone is killed by members of the wild hunt, they join its ranks, at reduced effectiveness if they're a servant.
The time dilation could be a plot point, and if his master demands if (with CS), he could go on a killing spree of civilians to get a bunch of cannon fodder for others to wade through.
Again, I'm no expert, but this is a rough idea of how I'd approach something like this.
Kavacha and Kundala: O Surya, become armor (A+). A gift from his father, Surya, given to Karna at his mother's behest to protect him. His armor is a physical embodiment of the rays of the Sun itself, and his cape is weaved out of its flames. This present, while worn, grants Karna a protection that makes it so that he only suffers one-tenth of the attack's power before it even comes through, and negated the effects of 'sure kill' Noble Phantasms, which can be summarized as 'taking away all HP plus one' (An example of such a Phantasm would be Gáe Bolg, belonging to the Irish hero Cú Chulainn). In addition to this, the sheer defensive capabilities of the armor are similar and superior to those found in another golden armor belonging to a certain Heroic Spirit, who has noted his annoyance over this being 'one of the assets he lacks'. It is an Anti-Unit (Self) type of Phantasm.